Handog ng Pasko: Ang Liwanag Sa Sabsaban

Siyam na araw ang mabilis na lumipas noong Simbang Gabi. Mayroong namamanata, may humihiling ng katugunan, at may nagmamakaawa sa kawalan ng pag-asa. Narito na ang Pasko, ngunit tahimik, mahiwaga, at ngiti lamang ng isang sanggol ang sasalubong sa sinumang maglalakas loob na lumapit sa sabsaban! Lumapit ka ba? Ramdam na ramdam mo ba? Mangilid-ngilid ba ang iyong luha? Sinubukan mo ba Siyang hawakan? Naibsan ba ang iyong mga hinanaing sa pagharap sa Liwanag?

Sana nga, sana nga! Hindi sana nasayang ang handog ng Pasko. Marami akong naibalot at naibigay na regalo. Hindi pwedeng mawala ang handa sa Noche Buena. Mayroong bagong damit at sapatos ang mga bata. May handang pakimkim ang mga ninong at ninang. Ngunit buong pamilya ko ba ang kasama kong nagsimba sa araw ng Pasko?

Naihatid ng ating kasalukuyang Kura Paroko, Fr. Raymond Joseph Arre, ang tunay na mensahe ng Pasko sa pamamagitan ng mga piniling tema sa Simbang Gabi. Nasa gitna ng “kadiliman” mula sa kasalanan, kasakiman, kapighatian, at kawalan ng pakikipagkapwa-tao ay ating matatagpuan ang “liwanag” ng pagbabagong-buhay, kapayapaan, kapatawaran, at pagbabalik tiwala.

Natapos na ang Pasko. Mayroong nagbigay at mayroong nakatanggap. Mayroong humingi ng kapatawaran at mayroong nagpatawad. Mayroong nagturo at mayroong natuto. Ang liwanag ni Kristo ang puno’t dulo ng bawat karunungan na mayroon tayo. Lumapit tayo sa hatid na liwanag at manatili sa isinilang sa sabsaban. Sa Kanya tayo makinig, sa Kanya tayo magtiwala, at sa Kanya tayo sumunod sapagkat Siya ang tunay na handog ng Pasko.

Serving at masses (both as acolyte and choir) and baptisms, dawn processions, forming and teaching the Tinig ng Batang Pag-asa (Children’s choir), accompanying the Parish Youth Ministry (PYM), as well as attending parish leaders’ meetings and plannings. I am really blessed to have a chance to be mentored by Fr. Raymond about the daily parish experiences and affairs — how he handles people, manages finances, runs the parish, prepares and delivers good homilies, presides meetings and planning, and most importantly takes care of his health and well-being.

Broken. All of the theological and formative ideologies we were equipped with from the seminary are gradually being shattered and broken as I go on and immerse myself in the parish. At some point, I also felt the pressure on my shoulders — kailan ka ma-oordain bro? Ilang months pa? Bakit si ganito ganyan tapos na? Sana dito ka nalang ma-assign. These are just some questions I always hear from people, parishioners, colleagues, and friends. There were times during my pastoral experience here at OLHP when I also felt emptiness inside me. How long will I be here? What would be the next step for me? I felt hopelessness despite being here under the patronage of Mary, our Lady of Hope. However, that feeling did not linger so much because the OLHP priests were always with me. I acknowledge that all these things are growth areas that I also need to work on and improve at day by day.

Shared. I always look forward to sharing myself with the people I minister to. During my regency years when I worked as a Guidance Counselor in a school, I discovered a significant thing about myself: my love language is quality time. Then, every- thing made sense to me—presence is more than enough; I feel God’s love by His presence in my life; I feel loved by other people when they share their time with me; and I in turn express my love for them by spending time and giving my undivided attention.

My pastoral experiences here at OLHP is an experience of sharing oneself. I wrote in my journal a few days ago that if there is one thing I would like to be remembered about by the people where I am assigned and will be assigned in the future is that I stayed with them, I was present with them, I shared my time with them, I accompanied them, I laughed, cried, or stayed late with them, I journeyed with them and listened to their stories - simple or profound encounters with them. Basically, I was with them.