Open door May/June 2014
Letter
Table of Contents
from the
Editors
1
Ten years ago, Massachusetts made international headlines, becoming the first state in America to recognize equal marriage. In the intervening years, much progress has been made in expanding equal marriage to other parts of the country. In this special issue of Open Door, we look back and reflect on where we have come from and recommit ourselves to follow where God is yet still calling us to go. Rev. Anthony Livolsi updates you on big improvements to our worship service on the morning of the Boston Pride Parade. Yours truly has a handful of stories of how the United Church of Christ has led the way for social progress in this country— and it goes back further than you might think. Don’t miss the photo spread featuring the courageous faces of Old South families standing up for equal marriage, and some of those same joyous faces on their wedding day. Rev. Ken Orth gets theological, looking at equal marriage through the lens of the Easter resurrection story, and his own story of life and hope triumphing over doubt. Who says church politics are divisive? Former moderator Russ Gregg recalls the history of how we as a congregational church have lived into—and lived up to—the call to be Open and Affirming of people of every marital status, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. Cynthia Conner Self writes about what it was like to be a part of the very first same-sex marriage at Old South Church, and reflects on one of the least celebrated but most important outcomes of equal marriage. And Rev. Emily Heath reflects on freedom of religion, now at the center of a landmark lawsuit filed by the United Church of Christ on April 28, 2014 arguing that North Carolina marriage laws violate free exercise of religion.
Ministry Spotlight Pride Morning Worship
We’re not radical. We’re just early.
2
The Sky Hasn’t Fallen
8
God’s Love Feet First Cynthia Conner Self
9
Witness Rev. Emily Heath
Featured
4
A Resurrection Story Rev. Ken Orth
6
Words to Live By Russ Gregg
Rev. John Edgerton
EDITORIAL STAFF Amy Perry
EDITOR & PUBLISHER
Chris Breen CHAIR, COMMUNICATIONS COMMITTEE: David Albaugh, Chris Breen, Jackie Geilfuss, Jim Hood, Amy Perry, Corey Spence, Nancy Taylor
CREDITS Front Cover
Old South Church in Boston 645 Boylston Street, Boston, MA 02116 Ph. (617) 536-1970 OldSouth.org Facebook.com/OldSouthChurch | @OSCboston
Beth Kukucka
2-3 Rally photos: George Delianides; Heath-Carrington wedding: Shane Godfrey; Geldert-Damrow wedding: Beth Kukucka; Fleming-Spooner wedding: Melissa Robotti; Swing-Harbold wedding: Ronald Cowie
Open door 1
ministry spotlight
Rev. Anthony Livolsi
We’re not radical.
We’re just early.* Rev. John Edgerton
WORSHIP For some years, we at Old South Church have hosted an interfaith event to coincide with the Boston Pride Parade and festivities. In the thick of early struggles for equality, embattled LGBTQ advocates could gather, enjoy the comforts of solidarity, and rally spiritually. Over time, the nature of these struggles has changed. While there will always be cause and opportunity to picket and to protest and to petition, today – thank God – it is in pouring themselves into relationships, rearing children, homemaking and mentoring that many LGBTQ persons pursue justice. While this work may be less public, it is no less important; certainly, it is work that needs no less support. We all, and Old South Church with us, remain committed to the LGBTQ community, even as its needs evolve. Responding to the desires of our LGBTQ members that Old South Church offer spiritual nourishment and support reflective of the new realities of their lives, we are planning for a fresh take on a familiar celebration. In place of the interfaith event (interest in and energy for which had been declining) will be Pride Morning Worship, a joyous and grand service of Christian worship. For it is fitting that on high festal days, as people of faith, we would seek that God smile over and shine through our merriment.
Old South Church’s Open Door Award (design by Amy Perry)
With us will be Rev. Frank Schaefer and Bishop Thomas Shaw, whom we will honor with the Open Door Award for their pioneering witness in support of LGBTQ Christians. As our inaugural service marks the tenth anniversary of marriage equality in Massachusetts, Hillary Goodridge will read from The Goodridge Decision, the Supreme Court ruling which legalized samesex unions.
On Pride Saturday, June 14, at 9:30 am, before you set your feet to marching, let your soul sing out – praise and thanks to the God who is flourishing the LGBTQ family.
Getting your packages from Amazon, your name being called by the maitre d’ at that brunch place that’s always jumping, the fire truck pulling up to your house ... Let’s face it, some things are better when they’re early. Here are some of the ways our denomination, the United Church of Christ, has been way ahead of the curve.
1785
The ordination of Lemuel Haynes, an African American man, almost 80 years prior to the abolition of slavery.
1853
The ordination of Antoinette Brown, the first woman ever elected by a congregation to serve as their pastor, almost 70 years before the 19th Amendment.
1972
The ordination of William R. Johnson, an openly gay man, just three years after the Stonewall Riots.
2005
2005
2014
General Synod, biannual national convention of the United Church of Christ, overwhelmingly supports equal marriage rights. Just two years prior, “sodomy” was illegal in fourteen states. Old South Church calls Quinn Caldwell to serve as Associate Minister, the first openly gay minister in our congregation’s 337-year history. The United Church of Christ joins a lawsuit against the state of North Carolina, arguing that the state’s constitutional ban on equal marriage infringes upon our right to freely practice our religion. *Slogan for Chicago Theological Seminary
In 2004, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts became the first state in America to legalize same-sex marriage. The last decade has not been without struggle, including attempts to amend the state’s constitution, but discriminatory actions have failed to set the clock back. This year, we celebrate ten years of marriage equality in Massachusetts ‌ And the sky hasn’t fallen.
Carrington-Heath, November 17, 2012
Swing-Harbold, July 16, 2011
Geldert-Damrow, October 2, 2010
Fleming-Spooner, October 6, 2012
Equal marriage rally, MA State House, July 12, 2006
A
Resurrection
St ry
Open door 5
Rev. Ken Orth Ten years ago on May 17, 2004, it was my privilege to officiate at one of the first same-gender marriages in Massachusetts. Performing the marriage for one of those first seven couples was an honor. They had believed that the day of same-gender marriage could dawn in this state and in this nation and, indeed, they had brought that day into reality through courage, faith, and trust. As I ended the wedding service with the familiar words “whom God hath joined together, let no one put asunder”, I recall the enthusiastic applause and affirmation of those who gathered to witness history in the making. It was a day of resurrection for those of us who had given up for dead the possibility of living in a world of acceptance, inclusion, and justice for all. It was a day, that thirty years earlier, I did not believe possible. On July 17, 1974, I met George Paolucci, the man who would become my life-partner in a covenanted relationship. In those days, when people talked to us of “gay marriage in our lifetime,” our doubts were plentiful and our grief was at times palpable. We had grown up in a world where we daily were met with the prejudices and penalties of being “outcasts.” This experience was made worse because George was working as a member of the military and I was ensconced in the daily workings of the church as it was in 1974—neither institution seemed likely to be a welcoming place. We were quite certain that we would neither know the blessing of our relationship by a community of faith, nor have the legal protections afforded to married heterosexuals—at least not in our lifetime. Letting go of our hopes and dreams felt at times like Good Friday, shrouded in darkness and devoid of hope. During the liturgical season of Eastertide it is particularly appropriate to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the Supreme Court ruling that “preventing same-gender couples from marrying violates the state constitution.” In the wisdom of the liturgical calendar, Easter does not just last for one day: it is an entire season. This helps us understand that the new life of resurrection takes time to grasp. It takes time to grow fully into our consciousness. It takes time to gain insight into how the joy and possibility of new life can grow out of the old ways of death. At times, during the struggle for marriage equality, it seemed easier to go back to our old ways. The bible recalls the people of Israel, after being freed from slavery, longed for “the flesh pots of Egypt.” We, like the Israelites, were finding that any new territory brought its own dangers, toils, and snares. But learning to depend upon God’s grace—rather than our own strength—is a daily adventure of “letting go and letting God” show us a new way. Our old habits of relying solely upon willpower and self-reliance to survive were being changed. We began to understand that it is God’s grace that leads to
a fulfilling life, one in which we can claim our place at the table with all of God’s creation. The invitation to this new life is issued by God, we do not earn our way into it. What a change of plans from trying to plot our own course to salvation! We were to learn the ways of not only being healed ourselves, but also becoming healers for all people. We were to learn the ways to “love one another as we had first been loved.” George and I began to practice the faith and trust by which God had brought us out of the land of hopelessness into the land of possibility. As we began being embraced by the community of faith in which God had placed us, we were at times confused and mystified. Was it really going to be possible to have our love and commitment be recognized in a ceremony of covenantal love, grounded in God’s love? The answer from our church community was an enthusiastic “yes.” On November 28, 2004, we were married at Old South Church in Boston in a ceremony of thanksgiving, attesting to a faithful God who continues to “do a new thing,” the God who continues to bring to life things that we would have given up for dead. With over 200 people in attendance, George and I passed out river stones to the congregation, a symbol that each person there was like one of the stones placed in the river which we were crossing that day. They were making a bridge for us to cross over into a promised land. Through the grace of God and the love of others, we were entering a new land, one which we could not have imagined earlier on. Our gratitude was and remains palpable for us as a couple blessed by God’s grace. We were, and are, held in the love of this community. We are witnesses to the God who brings about resurrections continuously. In our fortieth year together, George and I know there is no way to repay the generosity and grace that has been offered in our lives both by God and by our beloved community. Instead, we are often “lost in wonder, love, and praise,” as the beloved hymn goes. Thanks be to God! God willing, later this year George and I will celebrate our tenth year of marriage and our fortieth year as a covenanted couple. What an amazing world of life and possibility we have witnessed! Eastertide reminds us to replace “I doubt it” with attitudes of hope, faith, and trust because, with God, all things are possible. May all of us as Christians love one another and witness to each other with our own resurrection stories. Stories where God comes to us in the darkest of nights, the most abandoned places, the most hopeless of situations, and embraces us with a love that gives new life and leads us to a world we could never have imagined. God works wonders. Of this, we are witnesses! about the author Rev. Ken Orth is an affiliate on the staff at First Congregational Church (UCC), Winchester. He leads Healing Worship 2nd Sundays of the month at Old South.
6 Open door
Words to
Live by
Russ Gregg
“Old South Church in Boston, in the name of its host, Jesus Christ, and in the spirit of Christ’s invitation carved into the stone of this church’s portico, “Behold I Have Set Before Thee an Open Door,” welcomes all who seek to know God.” excerpt, A Note on the Inclusive Dimensions of God’s Grace
Old South Church became an Open and Affirming congregation in 1994 under the leadership of now Senior Minister Emeritus Jim Crawford. As described in Jim’s biography, “[I]n the early 1990s, an informal gathering of members, friends and staff of Old South began meeting to promote a more affirmative welcome to persons who happened to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. This group composed ‘A Note on the Inclusive Dimensions of God’s Grace’ as a testament to the church’s commitment to an ‘open door’ in God’s name, which aligned Old South with other congregations in the United Church of Christ known as ‘Open and Affirming Congregations.’” In November 2003, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health that it was a violation of the state constitution to ban gay marriage. This landmark
ruling led to Massachusetts becoming the first state in this nation to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, beginning in May 2004. At that time, the Old South LGBT Group, led by then lay leader Brent Damrow (now Senior Minister of The First Congregational Church of Stockbridge, MA), asked Church Council for the church’s affirmation in support of gay marriage. We as a church, and I as the Moderator in particular, were blessed to have the wisdom, faithfulness, and strength of Interim Senior Minister Carl Schultz to guide us. I will always recall meeting with Carl for the first time to discuss our plan going forward. We immediately agreed that gay and lesbian couples seeking to be married at Old South Church should have the same rights and responsibilities as any other couple. Moreover, while we realized that Old
Open door 7
The Old South Church float in the 2004 Boston Pride Parade proudly celebrates equal marriage.
South already provided that opportunity as part of its “inclusive welcome,” we wanted to provide for the needs of all our members and move forward on gay marriage. God is always speaking to us, and as Carl frequently reminded us - faith faces forward. After prayerful consideration, and seeking the counsel of Carl, Brent, and other leaders and members, I asked Council to support a congregational meeting and vote, one that I hoped would expressly confirm the congregation’s affirmation of those rights. I think in all our minds there was no real question as to the position of the congregation on the whole; rather, it was the process leading up to the vote that was key. As with all such discernments, the process needed to be open, inclusive, welcoming, and respectful of all reasonable views.
Dimensions of God’s Grace. After drafting and redrafting the language, we were ready to propose including “marital status … sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression” among the characteristics of all people protected within our doors; and that our invitation expressly includes “fully sharing in the worship, rites and sacraments of this church.” With Council’s support and pursuant to our By-laws, we called a special meeting of the members to approve the amended language. With little discussion and no debate, the congregation voted overwhelmingly in favor of the resolution. Old South Church was ready to move forward into its next chapter under the leadership of Senior Minister Nancy Taylor beginning in 2005.
To that end, discussions were held for members to express their opinions and share their values. Our own Rev. Ken Orth graciously provided us with an understanding of Old South’s past efforts and experiences. The discussion was most always positive and respectful, and at times poignant.
The church continues to share its light with the rest of the world - so much of which still needs to hear the Good News.
After significant deliberation, we concluded the most appropriate way to proceed with the congregational vote was to incorporate gay marriage in our Inclusive
about the author Russ and his wife, Marcia, joined Old South Church in 1994 and live in the Back Bay. Their two children, Christina and Will, are also members.
8 Open door
God’s L OVE
feet f irst. Cynthia Conner Self
Dear Old South Friends, I hope this finds you all well. I truly miss the church and all my friends there. My partner, Sarah, and I attended Old South Church from July 2003 to June 2005. I had just finished fellowship training in Los Angeles and was starting a job with Boston University Eye Associates. Sarah was continuing to pursue her bachelor’s degree at Emmanuel College. Old South was a wonderful church home to have in a period of our lives during which we experienced a tremendous amount of change. Revs. Carl Schultz and Jennifer Mills-Knutsen were warm and welcoming and we made many friends, especially in the LGBT & Friends fellowship group. Just prior to joining the church, we attended a new members class. I fondly remember that as we all went around the room introducing ourselves, everyone really opened up, relating the spiritual journey that had brought them to Old South Church. Several of us were gay or lesbian and spoke of what it was like to have faith but no church home; or how we had struggled to reconcile our faith with our sexual orientation. I remember thinking that the Spirit was moving indeed at Old South Church. It was an experience that I will always remember. Ten years of marriage equality in Massachusetts is a wonderful milestone. Marriage equality has truly changed the lives of many people, including my family. Sarah and I were married on Sunday, May 30, 2004, after the regular worship service. Our 4 month-old daughter, Darby, had just been baptized by Rev. Schultz that morning, and we wanted to make it a truly momentous day by also marrying on that day. We previously had a civil union in Vermont, so we kept this ceremony small and informal with just three family members. After the ceremony, we were told that visitors to the church had peered in to the sanctuary during our ceremony, to catch a glimpse of a first in the history of Old South Church. It is an honor to have been the first same-sex marriage at Old South Church. That a church would honor and celebrate our relationship with a marriage ritual, traditionally reserved for heterosexual couples, was an overwhelming blessing. A year after our marriage, we moved to Bangor, Maine and found a wonderful open and affirming UCC church, Hammond Street Congregational Church. God provides! Shortly after moving, we added a son, Owen, to our family. Here we are, almost ten years later, and sadly Sarah and I are currently divorcing. But because of marriage equality, our rights are being fully protected through the divorce. The children are doing very well through the process, and, of course, that is the most important thing. Just as the church was important to us for our marriage, it has been just as supportive to me and my children through my divorce. This is the real story of marriage equality and equality in general: Old South Church and churches like it meet us where we are and for who we are, without judgment, just as Jesus did and taught us to do.
Open door 9
Growing up I never could have imagined a day like that. I never would have thought that I could be married to another woman, and certainly not both legally and in the eyes of the church. I give thanks that Heidi and I were able to celebrate the start of our marriage in a place where both were possible. I know not everyone has that luxury. I’m a displaced Southerner, having spent almost the entirety of the first 31 years of my life in the South. I left in part to find a place where I could live with more equality. New England has not disappointed in that regard. But for a lot of my friends back home marriage recognition remains elusive. That’s especially true in North Carolina. When voters enacted Amendment One it was clear that the state would not legally recognize same-sex marriages. What was less clear immediately was that not only would those marriages not be recognized, but clergy could not even officiate at a religious ceremony intended to have no legal recognition. North Carolina law states that to perform a marriage, even a solely religious one, a clergyperson must see a marriage license. Otherwise they are subject to a misdemeanor criminal charge punishable by either jail or probation, and open to civil lawsuits. In short, as currently written, North Carolina law prohibits clergy from praying as they see fit. This is a direct attack on the religious freedom of UCC clergy and the clergy of a number of other faith traditions. We hear a lot of false rhetoric in our country about religious freedom being under attack these days, but this is one instance in which that claim is absolutely true. If clergy cannot pray with their parishioners, and celebrate the appropriate rites of their church, something is very wrong. That is why the UCC has voted to file a lawsuit in federal court which challenges the law in North Carolina. The main focus of this lawsuit is not equal marriage, though that is incredibly important to us. This is instead a First Amendment issue. This is about free speech and free religion, and how every American of any faith tradition deserves both. As a member of the UCC Board of Directors it was my honor to vote in favor of filing this lawsuit. We did not make this decision lightly, and we did not make it without prayerful discernment. Likewise the couples waiting to marry in North Carolina did not make the decision to seek to marry lightly either. And when people of faith are ready to stand in their house of worship and ask God’s blessing on their commitments, we must always stand up for the rights of both the couple and their faith community to do so. Some of my favorite pictures from our wedding day were taken in front of Old South Church. In particular I love one that shows the words engraved over Old South’s doors: Behold I set before thee an open door. To me it’s a visible reminder of the new things God is doing, whether the uniting of two people in marriage, or the pursuit of God’s people for justice. I give thanks for the witness Old South has provided, and ask your prayers for the UCC, the clergy who are parties to this suit, and most of all for the courageous couples who have taken God’s invitation to walk through that open door, and claim God’s blessing. about the author The Rev. Emily C. Heath is the current pastor of West Dover Congregational Church, and the pastor-elect of the Congregational Church in Exeter, New Hampshire. She is also a member of the United Church of Christ’s Board of Directors, as well as a regular contributor to the Still Speaking Daily Devotionals and Huffington Post’s religion section. Most importantly, she is married to Heidi Carrington Heath, a member of Old South Church, and a graduating seminarian who was recently approved for ordination in the UCC.
WITNESS
O
n November 17, 2012 my wife and I stood on the chancel of Old South Church, surrounded by our family and friends, and were united in the bonds of marriage. There is so much about that ceremony that I think about every day. Our smiling friends, our sacred vows, and most of all my beautiful bride.
Calendar
Visit OldSouth.org for our complete events calendar
Saturday, May 17, 5 pm north of boston potluck Join Nancy Richardson and Elaine Huber at their home, a pre-1830 restored farmhouse, in Bradford. Bring a dish for six and a beverage. Northofboston@oldsouth.org Sunday, May 18, 2:30 pm old south ringers spring concert Join Old South Church’s resident handbell choir for their spring concert. Free admission. Tuesday, May 20, 8 pm boston handbell festival Featuring the Back Bay Ringers, Merrimack Valley Ringers, New England Ringers, Old South Ringers, and Shoreline Ringers of Gales Ferry, CT. Free admission. Saturday, June 14, 9:30 am pride morning worship Celebrating 10 years of equal marriage in Massachusetts with award recipients Rev. Frank Schaefer and Bishop M. Thomas Shaw. Hillary Goodridge will read from The Goodridge Decision. June 23-27 american guild of organists national convention Old South Church is honored to welcome AGO. A complete schedule is available at agoboston2014.org.