Lunch with a Friend
The Road to Acceptance A reality TV star serves up a healthy dose of self-love at Green Valley Grill
By Kyra Gemberling
Most of the lunchtime crowd
Photographs by Lynn Donovan
at Green Valley Grill is unaware that they are in the presence of Greensboro’s newest celebrity.
After all, Whitney Way Thore isn’t particularly dressed for a formal luncheon. The star of TLC’s reality television show My Big Fat Fabulous Life and founder of No Body Shame Campaign just came from a physical therapy appointment and hadn’t heard that a photographer would be showing up. But in her informal, low-key attire — a stretchy purple tank top, black leggings and sneakers — she looks comfy and self-assured. She’s not wearing any makeup either, but her lively blue eyes, signature nose ring and glittery fingernails are all the accessories she’ll ever need. Twelve years ago, Thore probably wouldn’t be out in public, much less be seen eating in public. A drastic weight gain of 100 pounds in her first year at Appalachian State University left her depressed, embarrassed and terrified of the outside world. She stopped attending classes and nearly dropped out of school. Today, after more ups and downs than many people know in a lifetime, the 31-year-old Greensboro native is finally on the path of self-love. Her bubbly, enthusiastic demeanor that fans know well is inspiring. “Openness is not a problem for me,” she tells me upfront, a no-brainer considering she makes her living letting the world know the details of her health and personal life for the sake of promoting universal body acceptance. By the time Thore places her order — the Green Valley’s grilled chicken salad on a bed of arugula, with roasted red peppers, walnuts and feta — the dining room inevitably starts to take notice of her. An elderly woman bounces toward our table: “Aren’t you from TLC? I knew it from your smile — you have the prettiest smile!” she says. Later, a young lady appears seemingly out of nowhere and speaks to Thore in a hushed, intense whisper. I make a point of giving them some privacy but I do hear “never would’ve thought” and “just had to let you know” before she thanks her and walks away. The woman returns minutes later, but this time says nothing — she simply bends down and wraps Thore in a long-lasting, heartfelt embrace. This doesn’t make Thore nervous or even mildly uncomfortable — she returns the hug just as compassionately. She smiles and wipes tears from her eyes as the woman walks away. “I have chills,” she says. “When people react that way, it just really affects you, you know?” The Art & Soul of Greensboro
Since she was young, Thore has longed to make a positive impact on the world around her — she just never knew it would be quite like this. She had always been thin before college, but never “skinny,” she says. Going to Page High School and growing up as a dancer, the pressure to be thin was overwhelming, and Thore suffered from eating disorders throughout much of her childhood. But she learned to hide her pain — on the outside, she was popular and confident. She was even named prom queen. So when she began putting on weight during her freshman year of college — fifty pounds by the time she went home for Christmas break, and another fifty by the end of spring semester — Thore was devastated. Many of her friends turned their backs on her, some not even acknowledging her anymore. “Everything in my world changed that year,” she says. She says she began thinking of herself as being “just lazy and disgusting, and I started living how we expect fat people to live. I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t taking care of myself.” By the end of college, Thore had reached nearly 300 pounds. She visited a doctor to get answers, and it was then that she was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, a common hormonal disorder. Insulin resistance is often a symptom of PCOS, making it easy to gain weight but incredibly hard to lose it. Thore was relieved to know that her dramatic weight gain wasn’t entirely her fault, but her negative view of her body remained unchanged. After a four-year stint working in South Korea, Thore returned to Greensboro determined to lose the weight she had gained. She started going to the gym for four hours and running five miles at a time, eating maybe 500–1,000 calories each day. She ended up losing 100 pounds in eight months, but it wasn’t enough — she told herself she couldn’t really start her life until she was no longer fat. One day as she was leaving the gym, a group of men yelled insults at her through their car window. That’s when Thore hit her breaking point. “I remember thinking, ‘What do I have to do to escape this? I’m trying to be healthy and active, but to you, I’m still a fat ass.’” She ended up gaining back all of the weight she lost and then some, feeling a sense of defeat that threatened to derail everything she had worked for. As Thore pauses in recounting her story, our plates arrive. This is only the second time she has dined at Green Valley Grill — the first time was with her parents, her manager and his wife. She’s excited to be returning, though more for the welcoming, elegant setting than for the food that so many people rave about. “I don’t get that excited about food, which is funny July 2015
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