understanding the other person’s perspective and reality. To be empathetic, you have to think beyond yourself and your own concerns. But here is the $64,000 question: How do you do this without overdoing it and without having your intentions misunderstood? There were several occasions when female employees came to my office to inform me that a family member had died and that they needed some time off. In addition to offering my condolences, I also hugged them, because they were distraught and in tears. If I were a manager today, I would certainly think twice about showing my concern in that way; in fact, I am pretty sure that I would not, just in case. I always had a policy when I was doing adjunct teaching that I would never meet with a female student in a room with the door closed. I did not want to be accused of some sort of trumped up sexual allegation from a disgruntled student. On three occasions over a 57-year period in the classroom, students who were either failing or nearly failing my classes made an appointment to see me and offered to do “anything” to get a higher grade. Although I was not going to take the bait to inquire as to what “anything” might have meant, the implication was pretty clear. My response was that the only way to improve their grade was to do the work required and to do it well. I followed up these meetings with a written report to my supervisor, just in case the student decided to invent a different scenario. Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the federal Civil Rights Act of 1964. Sexual harassment describes the unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors or other verbal or physical conduct. The behavior does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. I am amazed that there are still men my age (80), even younger, who still refer to female servers and other service personnel as “honey,” “sweetie” or other terms they consider endearing. What is even more amazing is that there are still female servers who refer to me and other men by these same terms. While I am not offended AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2019
‘I am amazed that there are still men my age (80), even younger, who still refer to female servers and other service personnel as “honey,” “sweetie” or other terms they consider endearing.’ nor have I ever vocally complained to management, I am snapped to attention and wonder how the woman would react if someone were to call her “sweetie pie” as she had just called me. I guess this is my point. There is no official rulebook where these kinds of situations can be arbitrated in advance. In the wake of the Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment and assault scandal, the topic in the workplace has come front and center. It has given impetus to the #MeToo movement that virtually mandates that all managers determine whether theirs is a toxic workplace, and, if so, to take immediate remedial action to bring about a culture change. I am sure most of you have been in a workplace or professional setting where a person tells an off-color joke. Some think it’s hilarious; others laugh uncomfortably and still others react stone-faced. The most outrageous example that I encountered was when Kenneth Thomson, chairman of Thomson Newspapers (then owner of The Palladium-Times), the ninth richest person in the world at the time of his death in 2006, began his remarks in 1986 before a group of 400 publishers and editors in Florida with an off-color joke using the f-word Many laughed obligingly or nervously. I could not believe my ears, and I never had the same respect for the man. How thoughtless and stupid was it for him to do such a thing, which was unconscionable even by the standards in play 33 years ago. OSWEGO COUNTY BUSINESS
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