diana draft

Diana, Marilyn and Me

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The solemn day of national and personal mourning began precisely on time with the gun carriage bearing Diana’s coffin through the streets. punctuated occasionally by signs of bless you and we love you.

On the coffin lay lilies and a card which said: «Mommy bless you bless you and we love you»

Mummy

On the coffin lay heaps of lilies and the saddest word on any funeral dedication, ‘Mummy’.

Members of the royal family led by the Queen stood with her subjects united in mourning, waiting patiently for the courtegue.

The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Charles and his sons, and Diana’s brother Earl Spencer quietly walked behind the gun carriage in this difficult moment in the lives of these two young princes.

Meanwhile at the Abbey, the Queen arrived with the Queen Mother

For the first time in history the Union flag flew at halfmast on Buckingham Palace

and with guests ranging from Mohamed al-fayed Father of Diana’s companion Dodi, to the Prime Minister and Cherie Blair

After a 4 Mile journey through the streets, exactly on time, the service began Elton John Sang his tribute

Goodbye England’s rose May you ever grow in our hearts You were the grace that placed itself Where lives were torn apart..

..You called out to our country And you whispered to those in pain Now you belong to heaven And the stars spell out your name

And your footsteps will always fall here Along England’s greenest hills Your candle’s burned out long before Your legend ever will

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in..

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind

Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in

And your footsteps will always fall here

Along England’s greenest hills Your candle’s burned out long before Your legend ever will

And your footsteps will always fall here

Along England’s greenest hills Your candle’s burned our long before Your legend ever will

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind

Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in

Goodbye England’s rose From a country lost without your soul

Who’ll miss the wings of your compassion

More than you’ll ever knew

Goodbye England’s rose May you ever grow in our hearts

You were the grace that placed itself Where lives were torn apart

And your footsteps will always fall here

Along England’s greenest hills Your candle’s burned out long before Your legend ever will

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind Never fading with the sunset When the rain set in

How absurdly silly I was, thinking that to marry you would purge me of everything wrong in my life. And now. I’m so sorry. I remember how I made you suffer so dreadfully near the end of us. Like I do now. How is it I keep outliving everyone I care about? My dear David, what life I have left, I owe to you. Rescuing me when you did. Loving me as lover’s love.

I regret it to this day that I was not honest with you, my dearest Renate. How I could have married you when my own truth was different. I just don’t know. Honestly. You are such a beautiful woman. I will forever regret breaking the heart of someone I loved, and who loved me unconditionally. Someone I couldn’t fault in any way. It is one of the things I regret most in my life, hurting you. You could have ruined me financially, harmed my career. But you never, never did.

How is it I keep outliving everyone I care about? My dear David, what life I have left, I owe to you. Rescuing me when you did. Loving me as lover’s love. What am I now with you gone? I am bloody miserable! Damn you that you should die before me! I’m old. I’m weak. And I’m so, so lonely without you! I still blame the doctors. They should have brought you back in time. You should have lived. Why wasn’t it me, not you that gasped a last breath? Choked at dinner by a lowly potato?

To be left with this life of emptiness? And work. That’s all I do now. Work. No time off. You leaving me so long ago drove me mad you know. Contracts! Contracts! Back to Vegas again for another hundred bloody shows! I should be locked up, agreeing to such insanity.

‘You’re old and saggy and baggy and gray.

You’re all done, so go away.’

I don’t understand it. The public just aren’t as sick of me as I am of me. And by God, they’re bloody old now too. Concerts filled with blue hairs and sticks.

My dearest David. You know if a billion pounds would bring you back, I’d work to a hundred to have you with me on my last day.

David, you know who this is in this picture? This wretched snail is me. That place is this house. Locked within this tiny island (he hand gestures around the walls of the room), never to hear your voice, never to see your face.

Oh, and such a promise breaker I’ve become. Didn’t I tell you I’d never take drugs again?

“My dearest David, I’m too tired now. Even to play for you.

Boots the pusher has me now!

I heard your moanin and you’re cryin’. Just a bit pathetic don’t you think?

Ahhh… !!

John???

John???

You look like you seen a ghost. Bet you think you’re still sleepin’, don’t ya? See if you don’t have to mop up this wet dream in the morning.

I been followin’ ya, you know

Following me? Following me where?

Through the years. Ever since I got plugged. I’m dead you know. Had ya heard?

Well. Yes. Of course, but..

I didn’t know I was dead right away when it happened. After a while though I knew it was over. I never seen him pull the trigger. Heard the bang. A bit of smoke. Then I’m down on the ground. Then the checks quit cummin in.

You feel sorry for me, does ya? Doesn’t look like you have the time anyway, with your wallowin’. You best save all that sorry business for yourself, you twit.

John, I’m so sorry. Horribly, horribly sorry

John, it’s not like that.

I stand here, listenin’ to ya’ rant. Denying it, are ya’? That’s all crap, in’it, Elty boy? Tell somebody who hasn’t listened to ya’ night and day for years.

Everywhere. Since I was snuffed. It hurts me to say this.

John, you’ve been with me? Where?

You know, boy o’, I used to hate tourin’. But I’ve got used to it again going about with you. I kind of like it now, so that’s why I’m not letting you stop. I always told you I liked your tunes. Even a tiny bit of the recent stuff. But lots of it belongs in the bog. Your fingers still work. Your voice is a bit screechy, but it still fills the stalls.

God knows why, but even the kiddies can’t seem to get enough of you. It’s such a waste. Yrr’ like a bitchin’ wife who looks old, but still has a pretty good body.

Look. I’m even sorry for you that your hubbys’ dead. Cleaver how he went out with a spud. I choked worse than that when I walked through the wrong wall once and there you was, in bed with Davy Boy. Ye must be mad claimin’ to marry a bloke!

On the other hand, I don’t suppose you’d be that crazy about the thought of me sleeping with Yoko and all what that looked like. And look at Paul. His luck ran right out the first time when Linda died and his second time round was a bollocks, wasn’t it?

We’ll give that a rest. Anyway, I like hanging about with celebrities, and the old bluesers and boozers and your lot. You know, once upon a time, I said that your vocals, well they were an improvement on all the vocals till then. I said it

I said you were the first thing that’s happened since The Beatles happened. I said that too.

So, you know everything?

I don’t suppose you remember me sayin to ya, ‘If you ever die, I’m gonna throw me radio out of the window.’

Looks like you went through the window first, ya spoiled twit.

Too bloody much. Now look, I know you’re busy. But I thought I’d just pop in. Old times sake, all that. Just wanted to tell you that not workin’s not all that bad.

What I don’t get is one thing, though? How come you haven’t given it up, then? This performing business? You’re a fossil you know

I guess I should have… long ago… It’s just… I’m so sorry about what happened to you…

Are you now? Are ya just?.. I’m not.

I never burned out alive like you, mate.

I was lucky. Me birthday candles got blown out by a handful of bullets.

It was so sudden… I mean…

So it happened every day. Sure enough, just like that. The same every day, over and over, and at the same time every time this lout comes at me with the gun. And I try to stop him. But I can’t. I know it’s coming, I do every time. And everyday he gets me. Right there in front of the Dakota. This goes on for five years

Next thing I know, one day, just a minute away from me being shot for about the 2000th time, Yoko shows up. Just like that. She’s there. On the sidewalk. It’s her.

So she looks down at me. I’m so surprised it’s her. She looks just the same. It’s just like she’s popped down to the convenience for a minute and now she’s just comin’ right back

A few more inches, just one way or another, I figure, and I’m clear.

Where you been? I’m going to get shot. You got to help me. Pull on me arm or something.

So I reach out for her hand. But it’s not there. It’s a wisp. She disappears too. So I’m thinking. Ok, this is a cruel joke here in hell

So, the next day, I’m waiting for me evenins’ dinner of lead, and there she is again. I’m thinkin’. Ok. Maybe sum’ politeness will help. So, I’m thinkin’ I better ask her ‘please pull me away,’ or ‘please kick this guy in the nuts, or somethin’.

I’m not too much worried about her, cause she’s a wisp and if my hand goes right through, not much danger of her taking me bullets. So anyway, I ask, ever so politely, and out comes her hand. But it’s still a wisp! So I starts to pullin’, and sure enough. Nothin’. Bam. I’m plugged again.

So third day, I figure, maybe there must be some way to make contact. So, sure enough, on the third day, I say, ‘Hello, Yoko!’ And she says, ‘Hello John!’

Then, cause I don’t know, maybe a wisp is hard of hearing or such, I say, ‘Do me a courtesy, would ya’? Stop him from shooting me!

She says, ‘No.’ Plain as day. ‘No.’

So right away, I’m thinking maybe she’s right. She’s getting the life insurances and the royalties and such every day. Why mess that up?

So, like a twit, I asked her, ‘No? I thought you loved me?

And straight up she says ‘I do.’ But before I can say somethin else... Bam! The bullets come me way. Right on time.

But when she does show up again, I’m ready and all rehearsed. Cause, I’m thinking, some reverse psychology might be the best. So, I tell her, ‘Hello, I’m ready to be dead. Right ready

Without even so much as a how de do, she says, lookin’ right at me, ‘Are you sure?’ she asks.

And I hesitated. ‘No’.., I says, but … and before I can explain, bang bang. I’m shot again.

All the times before that, I didn’t hear anything after I been hit. I feel myself getting pushed back by the bullets, I fold up, smack the concrete as I go down. Standard stuff. This time, it’s different. I hear her voice as me head hits the sidewalk, kind of slow motion.

‘You have to find acceptance, John,’ she says.

So now, I’m pissed off. She’s not helping me, and nothing I do changes anything.

Then a week later, she’s back

It all happens the same again. Bang. Bang. I just keep me mouth shut, and nod me head yes to her question. Cause by now, I’m thinking to meself there’s no doubt about me being dead. It’s a career move I wasn’t planning on, but now that deal’s done. Anyway, I’m thinking maybe this will satisfy her. It doesn’t. And I’m shot again.

Then, with me bleeding on the ground and such, she looks straight at me and says, ‘John’, she says, ‘I can’t bring you back. I’m afraid you have died. A man shot you, and you never regained consciousness.

Then, she took my hand, and there it was, but this time it was all warm and real. And I squeezed that hand, and it felt more wonderful than anything I ever remember.

And then it hurt like hell. I felt every hole, every bullet. But she never let go. She held me hand and I could feel me head givin out, and me blood all draining into the gutter.

But looking up there she still was, and I watched her. Struggling to keep awake. But I couldn’t. So, I lay there for a moment, all dead and such.

I kind of wake up, and I open me eyes. And what you know! She’s still there! Already a crowds gatherin’, but she helps me up. But when I get up, nothing hurts. I look over, and I’m still laying there!

And then she says, “Come with me John. Nothing more for you to see here.

So we walk up the block, together, and all of a sudden there are all these people running past us, yelling - John Lennon, he’s been shot, he’s been shot!

She squeezes my hand, and I realize it’s still warm and real. But it’s like nobody can see us. But now I’m breathing, and I can feel the cool air, and hear all the noise around. So then she tells me, “Thank you for understanding”.

And I say, ‘I don’t understand a thing’. I didn’t either. ‘I never thought I could get back to you.’

‘You will’, she says. Then I feel this kiss on me cheek, and I feel her hand squeeze mine, but then she turns into a wisp again.

So now I’m worderin’. Am I still in a dream, and dreaming all this happen; or, am I officially dead and dreaming while I’m dead. Which brings us back to your favorite subject. You. Might be that you are wonderin’ the same thing. So what’s your guess, are your dreamin’, or are you dead?

Anyway, It’ll be easy enough to find out in the morning when the sun comes up, won’t it?

Are you saying I’m dead?

I suppose

You might be. If you can’t tell, I’m not tellin’ ya’.. Think about the possibilities. I had years to do that, getting snuffed every day, and wakin’ up to get snuffed again. See. You might be alive. You might be dead. Could be you’re alive, but dead inside. You figure it out for yourself. I had to.

I’m going now. It told you what you need to know. Yoko told me. Some people just get chosen

To die?

No, twit. To live. To explain it to us who didn’t.

Msr. John, Sir! Msr. John, Sir! Wake up. Wake up.

Did you notice anyone in the night??

No Sir. Msr. John, Sir. No one was in the house but me and my husband. Just like always. There was no alarms, Msr. John. Nobody.

Look those roses are red, not white.

You’re right, Sir. They are red.

But they weren’t red last night. Someone replaced them.

I don’t know, Sir. I don’t think so Msr. John, Sir.

No. No. They…. They…. But surely you….

They must have spilled, Mr. John. You must have spilled them in the night.

You are sure you’re ok, Sir?

Yes. Most certainly.

If you are, I’ll just clean up this mess here. Just take a minute. Can’t have you fallin down, Sir. I’ll be right back with a mop. Are you sure you don’t think you should see some doctor, Msr. John?

No. No. I’m quite fine.

I heard you playin’ Sir. I’ll just be out of your way in a minute.

Can

I go now? I have some things to do for you. The house is quiet, but if you need some help Sir…. you shore you don’t need some doctor, Mr. John, Sir?

No. No. I’m fine.

You just go along. And I’ll try to be more careful.

As you say Mr. John, Sir.

I’m quite all right.

Elton? Truly? Thank God you’ve come. I am so desperately glad you’re here. I’ve had a frightful dream about last night….. what are you...

Diana. I’ve come. It’s me. Elton. Elton John

Back up. Just back up. I can see you are far too old to be in the business of burglarizing anyone’s private quarters. I can’t bear to strike you; but I will if you come closer!

I’ll go. I’ll go …..I’m not sure where, but I’m going.

Horribly sorry to disturb you like this. I will clear off. I think it will be a few more moments before I will be able to stand. Nothing broken I don’t believe.

Oh my God, I have so desperately missed you.

Listen. All you missed was the door. I truly don’t want to have to use this against you

It is me. I am, I suppose, the Elton John.

You’re not!

On the other hand, you might be right. I saw myself in your mirror, and I grant you, I look like Cretin John.

May I try to get up?

Are you suggesting you have aged half a lifetime in just one month? I admit you look very much like him. An ancient version of course, who has been attacked by some kind of dreadful viral aging?? Sorry. That was unkind.

Yes. yes. You’re right. I am quite, quite long in every tooth now. And demented. I am quite convinced of that

Absurd as this sounds, even to me, I swear I have not seen you, nor been near you for far more than twenty years....

I simply can’t explain how I find myself here now. A day ago was my birthday. My 86th birthday. March 25, 2031 which at least explains my antiquity of appearance now.

See if this matches. The last time I was with you was in 1997, where apparently we are now. Certainly you will remember getting a call from me a month ago. On the day Versache died. A call from me.

Go on.

I saw you in Milan. At the Versace funeral. It was so soon after you were…

Were what?!

Wait. Here’s a test I can pass. I, I mean the Elton John of then...or now actually. How confusing. I recall writing and asking of you to be a patron of my AIDS Foundation. You wrote back to me, or to who I was then, shall we say, asking him to be involved in your landmine charity.

Look. There it is still! My letter to you! I know what it says. No one else would. Again, none of that happened after..

I’m afraid there are no explanations. Simple or otherwise. The letter says we are to meet next - or, I might seem to you - last week. How can I say this? Only to suggest that would have been your last week… , sorry, not last week….. I’m sorry that sounds like total gibberish.

You keep saying before, and then after. Why can’t you explain things simply?? Am I not to believe you are some crusty, mad man impersonating Elton John?

Look, I am truly sorry for you. You seem intent on causing me no harm. Someone is bound to come at any moment and take you back to where you live and where they keep you. Perhaps that’s it. 2031 High Street or some such. Does that sound right? Most certainly you must have a comfortable place somewhere with nice friends and a 9 o’clock bedtime?”

This better be a bloody dream

You

are the finest friend I will ever have.

I’m sure you have other friends where they care for you. It’s certain they began looking for you soon after you wandered away. And, someone had to see you come onto the grounds and then to come in here. Hopefully, in just a few minutes, some nice attendants will come to take you back home. And if it is that you have nowhere to go, I shall find you a placement

Allright, then. You think you are Elton John. You call yourself Elton John. That being the case, I am quite happy for you. I will, however, if I may call you ‘Elder John’ instead. Just to keep things straight. Is that acceptable? Are we in agreement?

Of course. As you wish.

I have an idea. We may still have a few minutes before they escort you back for your lunch or some such, so let’s play a game. You can pretend to be Dr. Who and travel in time. You do know who I’m talking about. Dr. Who. The time traveler, Yes?

Oh, very good. First, tell me what has meant to have happened between today, and your birthday so many years off in the future?”

What? Really? Oh. Oh. Certainly. By all means. Let me think. Here goes.

In September of 2001, New York City was attacked by a pair of exploding airplanes, and before that the Irish had turned nice for a bit. What seemed like half the population in the world took on bloody tattoos, but only half of them were men.”

Everyone on the planet had a mobile telephone until those became too much bother and were replaced by implants. The ice caps melted away mostly. That all happened in the first twenty years.

Rather a lot of boys became girls and girls turned into boys sometimes.

Please, DO go on.

Next a global pandemic shut down the world and nobody could leave home for a year and a half; and, a little later Americans flew to Mars and…

Entertaining. Imaginative, certainly. But enough! You may be clairvoyant in some odd way, but unfortunately I do sense you are quite ill and confused. I do genuinely feel ever so sorry for you. I deeply apologize for my own behaviour and things I have said, as you are clearly a victim of an illness - as you have just confirmed.

God knows how long you have been here reading my mail, but as an impersonator I compliment you - as you are quite, quite good at it.

In that sense, you may be quite right. I may well be impersonating someone who had a life he can never get back to. I have no idea. Please give me a little more of your time. I was just getting to the most important part of what you need to know. John explained it all when he came to me. He told me he had a hard time coming to grips with his own death.

John who?

Ah, now you chat with the ghost of John Lennon is it? I had no idea you were so connected.

I’m so sorry. John Lennon. Or, at least his ghost.

Yes. He came to me just yesterday. I think it was yesterday, and told me his entire story. About accepting the loss of his own life. He said it took a long while.

You talk to dead people? Well, that absolutely follows. What other dead people are you talking to? Present company excluded, I hope.

I only wish...

Not that it is any of your business, but I am still quite alive and connected to the real and living Elton John.

No wonder you think I sound completely mad. Still, to discover you now, to find you here to talk to is far more than I could ever have hoped for in my life. Even in a dream - if that is what this is. My Dearest Diana…

How dare you call me ‘dearest Diana’. Oh never mind. You have certainly lost yours. And I do want to help you get back to your home.

I think it important for you to know certain things. To hear those things from me. There may never be another time. As your friend I must tell you, so you will never worry. May I?

All right. Carry on. Let’s keep playing. At least, until your minders come. I think it best I stay with you. Don’t want you wandering off. Now, what is-it you want to tell me?

First. Everyone honors how you accomplished more in your life than most people achieve in several lifetimes. You know I have always been terribly proud of your achievements. Everyone recognizes you for the extraordinary contributions you made to so many throughout your life. And, if you think about it, if you never did another thing….

That’s all very nice. Thank you, of course for the kind words. But I want to know. What else can you tell me of what happened in my ‘after-life’, so to speak?

Oh. Yes. There is more. You did ask of your children

William moved on to marry a delightful woman named Kate, Kate Middleton. William and Kate. You have three delightful grandchildren from that union.

Really? And Harry?

Harry married and they had a son named Oscar.

Fine. And who did he marry?

A half-African American woman from Los Angeles named Megan. No wait. That’s wrong. She changed her name to Rachael. Harry gave up his position in line for the throne to live the American life, and they moved to Hollywood.

I

You are a charming, but delusional imposter. You can’t fool me with this News of the World claptrap.

know it’s an idle point, but that rag went under twenty years ago…

If I can’t get out, how did you break in? I know it was locked, but you must somehow have a key…. So give it to me.

Sorry, I have no recollection of ever coming in here. I would tell you if I knew. John must have gotten me here somehow. And now it makes sense as to why. He said it took him a long time to accept his fate. He wanted me here to try to explain the same for you, I presume. To spare you from that experience. But finally he did, it seems and he seemed quite happy about it. The same as Yoko did for him. It will make him be happy forever, I think.

I can’t be convinced I’m dead. Listen. I’m fine. Truly. Fake Elton, oh, I’m sorry, Elder John. But, please listen.

I have seen people who have suffered terrible diseases in this world. And horrible debilitation. But, I’m in good health. I have years ahead. Thank God people are pouring money in to help my causes. I do so love the people that have so generously turned out for everything I have supported.

Yet you keep bringing up this business of dying. If you were Elton John, I’d ask you the same horrid question. Could you just stop what you do? Not sing? Not play? Never perform again? I doubt it. Wouldn’t you feel your losses the very first day?

I’m embarrassed because you go on about the good I do in the world. But here you are, Elder John, and I’m dreadfully sorry to have to tell you the truth You do look dreadful. Some terrible virus has perhaps struck you. Some flesh aging bacteria. Perhaps that virus you claimed took the world. Surely we must get you to a doctor.

If as you say I can’t help the world anymore because I’m dead, at least maybe I can help you!

I assure you I am quite happy in this life exactly as it is. Next time you see your dear friend Mr. Lennon, tell him I praised you for doing such a good job. Tell him I’m very proud of you, and I got his message.

I simply can’t imagine why no one is coming.

The things I’m trying to tell you are things that I could not know without living closely with you in the past, and having then lived into the future beyond you. Somehow now, this moment, I am in your past with you. Does that make any sense? No. I suppose it doesn’t.

None. Absolute nonsense. I can’t be dead. I can’t be dead because you are talking to me. This can’t be the year so far in the future? What did you say? 2031? Nonsense.

Elder John. Come here please. What would you say those are?

Those? Those are drone cabs. They fly you from place to place. Been around for quite a while now. That’s a Virgin one. That’s a Blue Origin. That’s a Tesla.

Strange, I just don’t remember coming back...all I remember is last night... we were at dinner… and then we were going back to the hotel… We

and we were going very fast… and Oh my God!

A A A A A !!

What happened to me? Was I murdered? I feared it.

No. I don’t think so. But, the press said you perished in that early morning. We were all told you lost your life in a car crash. I am so sorry

I have been mourning for you ever since. Until now, that is.

The night you remember was last night. In that Paris car crash. Apparently, in 1997. Dodi was with you as you remember. It is horrible to have to tell you neither of you survived… or the driver

Then why isn’t Dodi here?

I have no idea. My own goodby was to you at your Memorial. Those thirty-six… thirty seven years ago.

Something is strange. Last night seems so long ago. Is there something you’re not telling me? Tell me again, nothing has happened to the boys.

I would never betray your trust. Then, nor now. Not ever. Or forever. You know that.

Do you remember helping me with those long talks about letting go, with my parting from Charles? You rescued me. I would have gone mad but for what you did for me. Keeping me clear about myself. I looked only ahead from that moment on, to each new day. And to my work. I didn’t feel any loss after that. I felt so confident. So excited to achieve what was ahead

You helped me banish my fears and anger. Maybe you are here to do that once again? You gave me a second life then. Perhaps you are giving me a third, and I am not appreciating it.

I can assure you your boys are really quite fine. And happy. Every bit of what I told you is true. Odd, very odd, some of it, I admit. But true.

Perhaps. I hope so

Are you really the dear man I love so much?

I would feel so foolish if you’re not. ...

I’m sorry. I doubt I can go on much further.

I well understand why you look so tired. You have been up 30 years. Please, rest on my bed.

I couldn’t.

Yes you can. I insist.

Is someone there? Anyone? Oh my God!

Today’s number 1 billboard hit from Stevie Wonder. It’s 74 degrees here in Westwood, and here’s a number to heat it up a lot more...

Miss Monroe are you…. Are you…. Can you speak to me?

Miss Monroe.

Marilyn!

Elton. Wake up. I’m afraid you’re right.. Come. Come now! Please!

Damn. I’m still seeing things.

About ten too many of these too, I guess. Man, am I seeing things.

It’s all right. Sweetie. You’re already in. But can I ask you something? Who the hell are you and why are you here?

My name is Diana. And this is my dear friend Elton.

I’m sorry, my name is not Melvin. It is Elton.

Ok so what are you and Melvin doing here?

I’m quite sure I don’t know.

You are the swankiest maid I ever saw, and Gramps, if you’re the gardener, you need to start a lot earlier and stay in the shade. Anyway, Susy, you come back this afternoon for the laundry and clean this place nice for me, please. Pops, go with her. My eyes hurt and I’m seeing things.

I’m sorry. My name is Diana. Not Susy

Princess Diana, actually.

And I’m the queen of LA. Nice to see you Princess. But please be a sweetie and come back later. I gotta sleep this off and finish dreaming this stuff.

I apologise for the intrusion. I assure you it was none of my doing. It is just that I’m afraid I have some quite frightful or some quite wonderful news for youdepending on your perspective, Miss Monroe.

And what news is that, Queeny?

I call it frightful because it was frightful when it happened to me. I know it is terribly odd to say this, but I think I now understand. I trust you will quite soon as well. From what I can tell, on this very day, perhaps just moments ago, you lost your life. Just as I did, in another time and place. It came as an absolute shock to me to discover I continue to exist, to live on I suppose you could say, and I have no way of explaining that.

Honey, I’m part of a tradition that says if you are talking to somebody - then they’re not dead - and then, surprise, neither are you. Let’s see, you’re telling me right here and now I’m dead and you’re walking around dead. What about you there Grandpa? You croaked a while back too?

I don’t think so. No. I am certainly hope not.

Miss Monroe, I didn’t understand until a few minutes ago when I found you just what has happened. Apparently to both of us. I can only describe what I have learned of myself. And, perhaps what you can learn about yourself. The life I knew apparently came to an end. Mine in a car crash. In Paris. Yours because of too many of those pills from there. Or at least that’s what the press reported.v

Look, any more of this crap and I’m calling the dogs out to drag you back to wherever you came from. It’s been amusing in a wacky way so far, but now you clowns have to get back on your circus train and get out of town. Now scoot. Out, out.

This is a new life for me. And, I trust the same has just started for you. Perhaps our work is not done after all.

I’m really sorry for you two, cause it can’t be any fun walking around with matching boy and girl head injuries. But now I have to sleep this off, and when I really wake up I promise I will remember you two and this wacky dream you starred in. Ok?

HOLD IT. WHERE DID THAT DOOR COME FROM?

It connects directly to my chambers. My rooms in England no less. It is where Elton found me this morning and where I learned my mortal self was killed in a car crash.

I thought I dreamed that when I woke up. Nah! Let me see.

You’re right. That looks like England in there.

You see!

It is. I suppose.

Did you say you were the Queen of England or something.

No. You called me Queenie! But yes, something like that, yes.

This whole thing of you showing up here is queer. Like your clothes, right?

Actually, her proper title is Diana, Princess of Wales.

I’m sure this seems terribly confusing. I didn’t believe it myself when Elton first came to me. If I was dead - how was it I was talking to him - or to you now? You now seem perfectly alive. I feel that way. As it turns out, apparently I’m no longer alive in the ‘earthly’ sense, shall we say. Please forgive me. This is my first day on this job, so to speak.

Elton, actually. It just started when John…

Who put you up to this, Princess?

And Alvin, I still want to know where you got that suit? Did you get it off Liberace? Wait! Wait! I get it. He sent you didn’t he? You’re pals of Liberace.

And all of this is a very stupid joke! I’m calling him now so he can call you guys off.

Mr. Liberace was very much a kindred spirit. Dear to my heart because of AIDS.

I read long ago about you losing your mortal life, as apparently have I.

Oh, hell. Never mind.

My past? You don’t know anything about my past.

Everyone does actually; and, not just in America. I can quite assure you of that. You accidently lost your earthly life because of too many of those pills, as I said. You have no idea how much people have loved you and your career, and most certainly how they continue to love the memory of you. For everything you accomplished.

Not that I can prove anything, but Elton says the same about me. I began this day as quite certain as you are that I was alive and ready for another. But it hasn’t been. But it seems it is. Meeting you, knowing your past as I do, confirms that evermore to me.

I don’t know how that other door got there, cause it sure wasn’t there last night. Look, I’m done for the day and I just barely got up.

So terribly sorry to have bothered you at all in this mess.

No problem. Just give me a break.

As you wish, Ms. Monroe, I’m terribly sorry, but I am afraid she may well be correct about everything she has spoken about. Absurd as it is.

Quiet Grandpa. Ok, Miss English smarty pants. Answer a question.

I doubt that I can. I’m so confused myself. I can’t say that I can add more clarity to the picture.

So I’m talking to you. That only tells me I’m not dead.

As I said, at least for myself, I am now quite convinced I lost my own life some years ago. And, unless old pictures lie, you died here, a very long time ago measured from my world. In this very room…

Please don’t look.

Please.

Marilyn Monroe has been found dead.

You

Forever, as far as I know. I hope so

I shall count on that.

Me too, maybe, huh?

going to be sticking around next door?

Miss Monroe, may I show you something? Perhaps you should look with me. I find all this quite remarkable.

That wasn’t… what are those…. Jeez… what are those flying things???

Drone cars, actually. Those are aerial taxi cabs, taxi cabs that fly. With no drivers. Never been in one.

What did you say again those things are?

If

Might not need those if we sprout angel wings. Maybe. Huh? Nothing seems to be impossible any more.

you will excuse me for a few moments…

What year did you die?

It only seems like yesterday, and well, maybe it was. The last thing I remember was, as I said, when I was in Paris. That was 1997.

God knows what year it is now. Elton said 2031… What year were you born?

1926. June the first

What’s so funny?

I should hope I look half as good as you at, let’s see, 105!

Ms. Monroe. I just met someone in the Princess’s quarters. She said John told her to wait until I came for her, and then bring her across? I can’t imagine why, and I have no idea who she is; or, why he would want that.

Sure, why not.

When I mentioned Miss Monroe’s name she froze. She said that was impossible because Marilyn died a long time ago. I tried to console her, and she is terrified. May I bring her through?

I shall fetch her, just take a few moments. She is quite uncertain why she is here. Imagine that!

I’m sorry. Your name again, please. Oh, yes

There is some here to see you Miss Monroe.

Please do come in.

Ms. Monroe, may I present one Ms. Susan…. Susan…

Strasberg.

You don’t look a day older.

You do. A dead ringer for someone I used to know.

Dead ringer. Get it. Dead… never mind. Hey! Wait, maybe you’re not…?

I’m afraid this is all of this new life adventure I can manage for one day. May I offer everyone tea?

Finally, something to celebrate! Ms. Strasberg, a pleasure to almost meet you. Perhaps we all have quite a long time ahead to get acquainted. Thank you Elton. We would all enjoy that.

Yes, please, do come through.

I’m so sorry we had to meet under these circumstances…

You don’t need to say another word, Honey!

Whoever you are. Wherever and whenever you came from. Thanks for coming.

I certainly don’t want to be alone forever, and since you live so close…

You here John? John?

John? Don’t be a stranger.

Elty boy. Ya done good, YA TWIT!

I found a way to let you win

But I never really had a doubt Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

Remember those walls I built Well, baby, they’re tumbling down And they didn’t even put up a fight They didn’t even make a sound

It’s like I’ve been awakened Every rule I had you break it It’s the risk that I’m taking Everywhere I’m looking now I’m surrounded by your embrace Baby, I can see your halo You know you’re my saving grace

I ain’t never gonna shut you out

You’re everything I need and more It’s written all over your face Baby, I can feel your halo Pray it won’t fade away