STONEY BALONEy
70
Near Life Experience
nwlEAF.COM
I have a friend named Davey Dabs. And much to the perplexment of those who consider him a pal, he is seemingly always attempting to influence, or impress. We’re certain that this need for attention is inspired by something that predates adulthood, but it’s a theory that isn’t addressed out of the sheer fear that he may snap. We just sit back, watch, and hope for the best. It’s all you can do. We can’t save the polar bears, either. So, recently Davey Dabs decided to test the boundaries of spirituality with an attempt to attain the highest Cannabis buzz in the history of mankind. It sounded like a lofty endeavor, but since no one has ever proven otherwise, it was agreed to be a reasonable proposition. Rachel The Ripper volunteered to be the official documentarian. The experiment took place in a walk-in cooler with Davey Dabs in a full body wetsuit underneath a snowboarding onesie with his bearded dragon, Clarise, clutching his chest between the two layers directly over his heart. Thirty minutes prior, he had eaten one-thousand milligrams of infused Leaf Chews. He would stay inside for twenty minutes and continuously dab 3 grams of THC-V crystalline and 1 gram of full spectrum Co2 hash oil. When Davey Dabs exited, he resembled an inspired Doc from the movie Back to the Future when he discovered a scientific breakthrough. Davey Dabs has since begun a Go Fund Me account in hopes to raise enough money for a twomonth trip to Tibet to study with the Buddhist monks. The success of this endeavor, by the way, prompted Davey Dabs to initiate a petition in the Leaf magazines to begin the Cannabis version of the Guinness Book of World Records. Davey Dabs now believes that maybe we can save the polar bears.
SEPT. 2019
More episodes at stoney-baloney.com