the PSYCHEDELIA issue nwlEAF.COM
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ANXIETY & IBOGAINE THERAPY For as long as I can remember, anxiety has always manifested itself in me in some way. Whether it was ordering a burger as a child and being unable to make eye contact with the waiter, or simply feeling uncomfortable in situations out of my control, anxiety has always been present in my life. used as an alternative medicine treatment for drug LIKE MOST souls struggling with mental illness, I addiction in some countries, as it has been proven tried to find comfort from this disorder in any way to also facilitate psychological introspection and that I could. Some of the most popular anti-anxiety spiritual exploration. drugs for immediate relief are benzodiazepines such After flying into San Diego, I was met by a driver as Xanax, Klonopin and Valium. who facilitates the transfer of getting patients to the Around the age of 18, I had my first experience treatment facility in Tijuana. with a benzodiazepine after having what felt like a During our two hour drive from California to Mexheart attack (little did I know I was having an anxiety ico, I had no idea what I was in for and the transforattack). From that point forward, every time I had mations that were to come. what I now know as generalized anxiety, I convinced As I settled into what would be my home for the myself that I needed this medication to continue my next week, I slowly started putting together the pieces day without any additional internal disruptions. and created a list of reasons and intentions of why I After a rocky and unhealthy relationship with xanax was there to begin with. I was asked to curate this list over five years, which ultimately led me to a sense of in hopes that it would better numbness and lack of connechelp guide me during what is tion, I knew a change had to “In this space, known as “the trip from hell.” be made - a healthy change I was no longer While most ceremonies or for myself in order to live a treatments tend to be done in meaningful life. connected to a more natural environment In November of 2018 I my internal and are performed by shaembarked on my journey to monologue, but mans, the facility I attended Tijuana, Mexico for ibogaine was speaking to was fully staffed with on-call therapy, in hopes of finding out an unfamiliar doctors and nurses in case what caused me these great anything were to go south. levels of anxiety, and how I voice that Following a series of blood could potentially find a better seemed to be a tests and heart scans, I was way to live my day-to-day life higher power.” ready to commence what without the use of benzodiazwould be a life-changing epines. experience. I was then laid To give a little back story on down in a bed with all of the ibogaine, traditionally the root lights turned off, when the barks of the iboga tree from attending doctor started to which ibogaine is extracted, walk me through what I may was first discovered by the Pygexperience throughout the my tribes of Central Africa hunnight ahead. dreds of years ago. Ibogaine is Nothing that he said could still used today in their culture have prepared me for what in the transformation process was next. Following the ingeswhile helping turn young boys tions of two large capsules, into men. I started to feel the effects of Moving forward into today’s “The West African medicinal plant iboga reveals truly wide-ranging the ibogaine take hold. day and age, ibogaine is now potential to treat multi-substance addiction.” -PsychedelicTimes.com
MAR. 2020
As this was a rather unfamiliar feeling to me, I was unsure as to what I was feeling exactly, or the possibility that it was just a placebo effect. About what felt like an hour after ingesting said capsules, I was now sure that these effects were no longer a placebo. I had fully transcended into another level of consciousness and existence. In this space, I was no longer connected to my internal monologue, but was speaking to an unfamiliar voice that seemed to be a higher power. Additionally, I was able to connect with a handful of friends that unfortunately are no longer physically here. I was rest assured that they were all in a better place, now watching over and protecting me. Though I tried deeply to connect and ask questions to those friends of the past, they reminded me that this experience was about me, and shortly after I began to start fighting all of my internal demons. During my experience, I was met with a vast majority of my self-doubts, insecurities, and reasons for benzodiazepine use. These were some of the most anxiety-ridden and terrifying moments of my life and existence. Throughout my 20s, I had used benzodiazepines as a coping mechanism to numb myself and try to hide from the world after feeling an unmanageable amount of anxiety. Overall, what I proved to myself during these 12 hours of hell, is that I am stronger than the drug that once ruled my life. And most importantly, that if I can get through an experience as intense as one like this without pharmaceutical medication, I can probably get through day-today life without it as well! I currently have been free of benzodiazepines for two years and counting, and owe a big majority of my transcendence to ibogaine. It is a great aid in fighting addiction, but without my self perseverance and dedication to that path of recovery, I am unsure that I would still be alive today. If you or a loved one are struggling with addiction, I highly recommend looking into ibogaine therapy as an alternative to the typical rehab route.
STORY by ANONYMOUS
