NUVO: Indy's Alternative Voice - February 13, 2013

THIS WEEK in this issue

FEB. 13 - 20, 2013 VOL. 23 ISSUE 48 ISSUE #1092

cover story

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WE LOVE LIL BUB We’ve loved this tiny internet sensation for a long time, and finally took a road trip to visit her. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and all things cat love, we’re highlighting other special needs Bloomington kitties, all of whom available for adoption at the Monroe County Animal Shelter right now, as well as 14 other programs serving animals in Central Indiana. But first, let’s talk to BUB.

BY KATHERINE COPLEN AND JULIAN WILDHACK-POYSER COVER PHOTO OF LIL BUB BY KELLY LYNN MITCHELL

corrections In our review of Phoenix Theatre’s current production, ‘Next to Normal,’ NUVO rues that were so dunderheaded as to spell incorrectly, for probably the dozenth time in 20 years, Bryan Fonseca’s first name. Guess how we spelled it! At least we’ve spelled it right 316 times (okay, that’s an estimate).

We also rue we got the number of actors wrong — we said a “cast of 5,” but there’s actually 6.

Finally, we rue we got the last name wrong of one of the youth in our coverage of Indiana Youth Group’s 25th anniversary. It’s Michael Olson, not Olsen.

14 37 10 24 39 05 06 17 22 27 08 37

A&E CLASSIFIEDS COVER STORY FOOD FREE WILL ASTROLOGY HAMMER HOPPE LOVE NOTES MOVIES MUSIC NEWS WEIRD NEWS

from the readers Thanks for your Marxist admission comrade Steve (Hammer, “Appreciation for fans, foes,” Feb. 6-13).

Despite all its failures, it just needs to be done right.

Right? Supporting progressive politics in our country is a world apart from your Marxist pabulum. Good luck in Texas! Too bad the far right and your deluded ilk can’t just meet and destroy each other and put our great nation back on the road to recovery.

OUSE EER HO BEE BE Happy Hour Food Specials

Monday thru Friday 3-7pm - half price appetizers Friday: Monday: Schooners, $6 32oz. glassware $2 domestic beer refill $5.75 import/craft beer refill

Tuesday:

Saturday:

$3.75 Midwest microbrews $4.25 Moon Mountain Vodkas

$3.75 Indiana beers $4.25 Moon Mountain Vodkas

Wednesday:

Sunday:

$3 bloody marys, screwdrivers and greyhounds $12 domestic buckets, $18 import/seasonal buckets $4.25 Rumpleminze, Jager, Sambuca and Goldschlager

$2 well drinks $4 long islands $6 martinis

Thursday:

— Brad Melloy

WRITE TO NUVO Letters to the editor should be sent c/o NUVO Mail. They should be typed and not exceed 300 words. Editors reserve the right to edit for length, etc. Please include a daytime phone number for verification. Send email letters to: editors@nuvo.net or leave a comment on nuvo.net, Facebook and Twitter.

$12 domestic buckets $18 import/seasonal buckets $4.75 Three Olive Vodkas

Schooner Night!

50 Beers on Tap!

838 Broad Ripple Ave, Indianapolis 317.466.1555 • chumleyspubs.com

INDIANA’S VOICE FOR

SUSTAINABLE SUS STA AIN A NAB N BLE B EL LIVING IVIING AVAILABLE NOW AT ONLINE, ALL THE TIME AT INDIANALIVINGGREEN.COM

STAFF

EDITOR & PUBLISHER KEVIN MCKINNEY // KMCKINNEY@NUVO.NET EDITORIAL // EDITORS@NUVO.NET MANAGING EDITOR/CITYGUIDES EDITOR JIM POYSER // JPOYSER@NUVO.NET NEWS EDITOR REBECCA TOWNSEND // RTOWNSEND@NUVO.NET ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR SCOTT SHOGER // SSHOGER@NUVO.NET MUSIC EDITOR KATHERINE COPLEN // KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET CALENDAR // CALENDAR@NUVO.NET FILM EDITOR ED JOHNSON-OTT COPY EDITOR GEOFF OOLEY CONTRIBUTING EDITORS STEVE HAMMER, DAVID HOPPE CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS WAYNE BERTSCH CONTRIBUTING WRITERS TOM ALDRIDGE, MARC ALLAN, JOSEFA BEYER, WADE COGGESHALL, SUSAN WATT GRADE, ANDY JACOBS JR., SCOTT HALL, RITA KOHN, LORI LOVELY, SUSAN NEVILLE, PAUL F. P. POGUE, ANDREW ROBERTS, CHUCK SHEPHERD, MATTHEW SOCEY, JULIANNA THIBODEAUX EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS JORDAN MARTICH, JENNIFER TROEMNER EDITORIAL INTERNS JOEY MEGAN HARRIS, AUDREY OGLE

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HAMMER The Tao of Hammer Know thyself

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BY STEVE HAMMER SHAMMER@NUVO.NET

reetings from South Central Texas.

I’m writing this from my temporary home in San Antonio, where I began intensive training for my new job last Monday. Everything has gone well so far, knock on wood. The weather has been great, my new coworkers are friendly and helpful and our training instructor is, quite literally, world-class at what he does.

I have this new job due to the fact that President Barack Obama’s economic policies have stimulated the economy and freed up capital for well-paying jobs such as the one I have. I’m feeling good about things. Everything is going to be all right.

One of the reasons I accepted this promotion, besides the obvious financial benefits and increased job security, is so that I can finally shed the low-paying and highstress burden of being Steve Hammer, the crazy liberal local newspaper columnist and resume the role of being Steve Hammer, the helpful coworker, good husband and friend you can count upon.

But I’m not yet rid of the role of crazy liberal writer. I have five or six more pieces to deliver before I bid farewell to the job of weekly columnist. And since I’ve already been paid for most of them, not only do I have to deliver these columns, I also have to try and do as good a job as possible with them.

Even in Texas, former Indy coworkers who preceded me here have been asking me questions about this column. Will I continue it? Will I miss it? Will I find it difficult to be a liberal Democrat in deeply red Texas?

The answers are no, no and no. It has been an honor and a privilege to write this column every week since 1993. It has also been an albatross around my neck for 20 years. Hunter S. Thompson was wrong about many things, but he was correct when he compared writing for newspapers with being a prostitute and having sex with lots of strangers. It’s only fun when you’re an amateur, he said.

Old whores don’t smile very much, he noted, and neither do old reporters and columnists. I will not miss the weekly grind. I will also not miss being recognized on the streets of Indy, even though I try to make myself as invisible as possible in public. The picture that has accompanied this column for seven years is a depiction of me trying to look as unlike myself as is humanly possible.

And, as longtime readers and personal friends alike will tell you, I clearly do not care what other folks think about my views. I’ve never claimed to be 100 percent correct in my political or personal philosophy. I’ve been moderately successful at being a columnist

because I am sincere, occasionally outrageous and sometimes humorous.

But the reactions from readers don’t affect me one way or another. I’ve gotten literally thousands of nasty emails and letters from readers and my columns have provoked at least one bomb threat to the NUVO office. I’ve also gotten as many compliments, so it evens out. As long as my editors a) don’t hate my stories enough to make me rewrite them and b) send me a check that clears the bank, whatever else happens doesn’t matter that much to me.

Insults don’t diminish my sense of self-worth and compliments do not overly inflate it. I have written this column because I am passionate about the things I believe to be true. And for the check.

Because Indianapolis media outside of NUVO is generally so bland and generic and devoid of real personality, I have stood out from the rest of the dreary pack.

I am not a prose stylist in the way my friend David Hoppe is a master craftsman of words. Nor do I have the gracefulness of Dan Carpenter of The Indianapolis Star. I have looked at them with admiration because they are almost surgical in the precision with which they assemble their columns. They wield scalpels. I come at my columns holding a chainsaw, baseball bat and sawed-off shotgun. There is room in Indianapolis for both approaches.

Having said all that, when my run with NUVO is over in six weeks, I will feel a small bit of sadness that I won’t be able to provoke violent reactions among thousands of tea-bagger conservatives in the Hoosier state. Their hatred fuels me to live a better, more productive life. And the readers who simply think I suck, well, I will miss them too, because for all of my life people have said I suck at what I do and I nevertheless keep pressing on.

Right now, not only do I feel the pressure of learning a new, extremely high-level job, I feel the clock ticking on my career as a newspaper columnist. I have so much yet left to say before I’m done and I’ve already out of room this week.

As always, thanks for reading. See you next week. God bless.

The reactions from readers don’t affect me one way or another.

HAMMER THROUGH THE YEARS

Back in the winter of 1993, in a column titled “A Night to Remember,” (NUVO, Jan. 20-27,1993), Hammer recalled Robert F. Kennedy’s 1968 speech at 17th and Broadway streets in Indianapolis on the night of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. Hammer advocated for memorializing that location. Today, the “Landmark for Peace” stands as a testament to the legacies of King and Kennedy.

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Because Ideas MatterRecommended Readings by the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University Justinian’s Flea: Plague, Empire, and the Birth of Europe William Rosen Viking, 2007 Reviewed by George W. Geib Few experiences have evoked greater fear in history than plague. For nearly two millennia, the Black Death kept returning to Europe to ravage cities and civilizations. One of the earlier, and more terrible, outbreaks came during the reign of the last important ancient Roman emperor, Justinian.

Rosen merges the stories of pandemic and imperial decline into an engaging narrative targeted to the general reader. Most accounts of that age mirror Procopius and his sixth century contemporaries, interested in Justinian as law giver, builder of Hagia Sophia, reconqueror of the western Roman empire, and source of great personal anecdotes. Rosen deftly retells these tales, but adds the larger context of the terrible pressures upon the ancient eastern empire that saw its rapid fragmentation into a recognizably medieval world. Chief among these pressures is the bubonic plague outbreak that struck Constantinople in 542 and eventually killed an estimated 25 million people.

Big picture history is at least as old as Edward Gibbon, and as current as Jared Diamond. If you like such introductions to people and ideas, Rosen should entertain and inform you.

— George Geib is professor of history at Butler University.

Go to www.butler.edu/BookReview for more recommendations by the faculty and staff of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at Butler University.

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HOPPE Guns and cigarettes

The high cost of cool

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BY DAVID HOPPE DHOPPE@NUVO.NET

was raised on war movies when I was a kid. The Second World War was barely 10 years past, films that were originally intended to inspire young draftees and buck up their loved ones on the home front burst from our black and white TVs like All-American passion plays.

Since we were just kids, we paid a lot of attention to visual details, how the actors looked and behaved. We took things literally; metaphors and themes were still waiting for us farther up the road. So it did not escape us that certain objects were invested with what amounted to sacred powers. Of these, the most sacred of all were cigarettes and guns.

My friends and I spent many an afternoon acting out our pint-sized versions of what we saw in movies like Objective Burma and The Sands of Iwo Jima. We carried plastic tommy guns and adorned ourselves with bits and pieces of Army gear our dads had brought home from the real thing. Once, to achieve a greater degree of verisimilitude, I remember stealing a carton of my mother’s cigarettes so that all of us 5- and 6-year-olds could look like we were smoking as we mowed down invisible Nazis.

Cigarettes were commonplace in those days. It seemed like almost everybody smoked. It was considered good manners to offer someone a cigarette if they stopped by your home or office.

Even though the U.S. Surgeon General released the first public warning about the dangers of cigarettes in 1964, smoking continued to hold a privileged place in our culture. Smoking was cool. Cigarettes functioned as fashion accessories for everyone from rock stars to captains of industry. People smoked on commuter trains and on commercial flights, in theater lobbies and the best restaurants.

Signs were posted in my high school warning of the dangers of smoking, but this did not deter many of us from lighting up. I let myself get hooked in college and, despite a rising tide of negative feedback, kept it up into my 50s. During this time, I was employed as a public librarian. I remember going to weekly meetings of department heads; we sat around a large, round table with ashtrays positioned by every seat.

Those days are gone. Although a few unreconstructed souls remain addicted to Lady Nicotine, smoking’s cultural cache has been stubbed out like the dying embers of an unfiltered butt. Continuing tussles over the so-called “right” to

smoke in a few retrograde gathering places amount to a rearguard action. It’s telling that one of tobacco’s last bastions turns out to be clubs for aging vets.

The story of our cultural love affair and eventual falling out with cigarettes has come up during the recent quarrel over what to do about gun violence.

It’s a worthwhile comparison because guns, like cigarettes, are deeply embedded in American culture. Just as tobacco served as one of America’s first and most profitable cash crops, guns have played an inextricable, even iconic, part in our nation’s history. Even more so: the right to bear arms is written into the Bill of Rights, nestled up against the freedoms of speech and religion.

And like tobacco, guns have also become part of what many describe as a public health crisis. On the same day that the U.S. Senate began holding hearings on gun violence, a man walked into a Phoenix office building and opened fire, wounding three people, one critically. A 15-year-old drum majorette was killed in a Chicago park, adding to that city’s highest total of gun-related homicides in years. In Alabama, an armed man boarded a school bus, fatally shot the driver and abducted a 6-year-old boy. A doctor in California was murdered in an exam room by one of his patients.

These were just the headlines. Slate has been able to verify that, since the Newtown massacre in December, 1,444 Americans have been shot to death. At this rate, Bloomberg News calculated that gun-related killings could surpass deaths from automobile collisions by 2015.

But where, in the ‘60s, the Surgeon General could issue ss a report based on research about connections between smoking and cancer, the impact of guns on public health has gone unstudied. That’s because, since 1996, gun lobbyists have succeeded in outlawing federally funded research on guns. “Public health researchers were doing work to help the public, even more so than policymakers, actually understand basic issues about firearms,” Arthur Kellermann, a senior policy analyst and expert in emergency medicine and injury prevention at the Rand Corp., told The Huffington Post.

“That type of research was very threatening to people who were involved in the debate over gun control.”

Cultural change is never easy. It took decades to change peoples’ attitudes about smoking. But this happened and, it must be noted, without having to ban or significantly restrict people’s access to cigarettes. We taxed the living daylights out of them is all.

Something similar needs to happen with guns. First, though, we need to better understand their impact on public health. Unless, that is, some of us are secretly afraid guns, like cigarettes, will turn out to be uncool.

Guns, like cigarettes, are deeply embedded in American culture..

GADFLY

by Wayne Bertsch

HAIKU NEWS

by Jim Poyser

poor USPS, bleeding money, resorts to taking a day off could Saturday join Sunday as day where mailbox is just a décor? sadly, most of the mail I get is bills or mags I’d rather not have I’ve tried stopping damn coupons but the fusillade of crap is unceasing in the olden days I knew my carrier, Don, and his interests he kept an eye out for elderly neighbors in case they needed help now my mail is brought in a small truck by someone I have never met snow, rain, heat nor gloom of night didn’t stay their rounds; t’was mighty profit but also advance of technology — boots on the ground, obsolete still, carriers tie it all together like the Big Lebowski’s rug

GET ME ALL TWITTERED!

Follow @jimpoyser on Twitter for more Haiku News.

THUMBSUP THUMBSDOWN OFF-THE-RECORD TRANSACTIONS Indianapolis Star reporters did a stellar job identifying a series of questionable real-estate transactions along the I-69 route — dozens of cases in which officials paid more than twice the appraised value with no written justification and, in certain Daviess County transactions, a payout range from $4,000 to $20,000 an acre. They also revealed a series of land sales linked to Troy Woodruff, a high-ranking INDOT official, which netted his family a 83 percent gain and which he neglected to report to state ethics officials.

The lead to one of these stories speaks volumes: “State officials can’t tell you why they paid the family of a powerful Indiana Department of Transportation chief more than $1.8 million for land on the I-69 project. They know, but it’s a secret.” If state officials love transparency and fiscal accountability as much as they claim, they cannot let INDOT proceed unchecked with its policy of keeping under confidential seal the records of land purchased for government projects. Time for a gut check, folks.

BALLIN’ BRICKERS Membership is nearing 700 for the Brickyard Battalion, a fan club organized to support Indy’s new yetto-be-named professional soccer team, which will take the field in 2014 as part of the North American Soccer League. The team is polling the public for input on the team name and colors — and selling tickets! — at indyprosoccer.com. Enthusiasm for season ticket reservations is also bullish for the team’s prospects with more than 1,700 made since the Jan. 16 announcement that an Indy team would enter NASL. Full season tickets, which include 15 home games, range from $135 to $390. These seats are limited; a $25 deposit reserves a spot. Early support will help the team establish solid footing as it works to boost the state’s substantial soccer legacy to the next level.

OUR OWN WORST ENEMY The Toledo Blade’s decision to dismantle its environmental reporting desk is the latest iteration of a trend in which the news industry appears to be chewing out its own heart. Tom Henry, the man who for years handled the Blade’s beat with award-winning results, is a journalistic hero to more than one member of the NUVO editorial staff. His contributions were an asset to the Midwest, a region with no more than a handful of full-time environmental reporters. Environmental stories may not sell as well as the latest Tweet from plasticized heiresses, but as we struggle to grasp the ramifications of our energy consumption and the realities of climate change, a brighter future demands a grand-scale re-ordering of our common priorities. Speaking of, the February issue of our sister publication, Indiana Living Green, is on newsstands now.

THOUGHT BITE

By Andy Jacobs Jr. War is the failure of diplomacy.

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7

news Goodbye homelessness, addiction and abuse

DONNA: Harbor Lights/Salvation Army.

I’m an alumni, but technically, they need a women’s place, just like they have the men’s ARC, where woman who can’t afford to go to the Salvation Army can pay her way by working in that facility. There isn’t one for women who can’t afford it.

NUVO:What do you think of ongoing efforts to fight homelessness?

WILL: This city used to have homeless conferences where all the caregivers would get together and they’d invite one or two homeless people in to get their view about what need. I went to several. One of the biggest things I’d kick about was having a 24-hour facility where people can go. As far as running it, what it wrong with putting a homeless person in charge? You’d be surprised at how much you can get with one homeless person helping another homeless person.

The Robersons start a new life Editor’s note: When I first met Will Roberson, a man who was homeless and addicted to drugs for more than 20 years and who has now been off the streets for about four years, he said he wished he could do something to help the people he left behind on the streets. I asked if he thought sharing his story might help. He agreed it was worth a try. He and his wife, Donna, (also a survivor of homelessness and addiction) welcomed me to their home for a wide-ranging discussion on their experiences, excerpts of which we offer here. A more thorough chronicle is posted at NUVO.net. – Rebecca Townsend NUVO: Do you attribute your drug use to your homelessness?

WILL: My life got to a point where I was locked into drugs so much I was in a Idon’t-give-a-damn attitude – for 40 years of my life.

I spent my rehab time at Salvation Army ARC – that is one of the few places I’ve been to that I give a thumbs up. If you really want to get yourself together – it’s tough love but they don’t charge you. You have classes and work therapy once you get to a certain level. They’re grooming

Targeting “vulnerable” populations

BY N A T H A N B R O WN E DI T O RS @N U V O . N E T On one of the coldest weekends of the year, homeless outreach providers found 186 people living on the streets of Indianapolis.

It’s a much smaller number than the 1,647 tallied in a single night in 2012. Temperatures on the day of that survey, Jan. 25, ranged from 33 to 54. But organizers note that circumstances were much different this year.

“With the weather being as terrible as it was on the mornings we were outside, a downpour on the first day and 5 degrees and windy on the next two, we did not think we would find as many people as we did sleeping outside,” Stephanie Sideman, program manager at the Corporation for Supportive Housing, said in an email.

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NUVO:What’s this about feeling guilty?

PHOTO BY REBECCA TOWNSEND

Will and Donna Roberson at their home on the Near Northside.

you to be ready so when you get back in the world you can hold a job. It’s for men only, though. It took me eight months to graduate. I’m proud to say I’m a graduate of the Salvation Army.

This last go round, I did have some help from the courts. I had a paraphernalia charge – my probation officer had me going to intensive outpatient. But that didn’t work for me because every time I went in for a drop, I came up dirty.

My PO said, “I can’t keep letting you do this.” I told him: “Look man, I’ve been trying to tell you, I’ve been trying to tell my lawyer, I tried to tell the judge: I need inpatient treatment. As long as I’m out on the streets and crack is out here, I’m going to smoke. So I’m not trying to fool myself. I’m

reaching for help and ain’t nobody trying to help me.” He said, “What do you think we ought to do?” I told him: “Get me signed up for ARC because then I’ll be locked up for 30 days and I can’t go nowhere.”

Officials released the results of the survey, taken Jan. 28 through Feb. 1, at a public forum on Monday night. The count did not include people living in shelters, transitional housing, with friends or family, or those who simply might not have been found.

This year’s survey marked a change in technique for the annual census, a reflection of the city’s involvement with a national initiative, the 100,000 Homes Campaign, a grassroots campaign to house 100,000 of the nation’s most vulnerable individuals living on the streets by 2014.

The campaign defines a “vulnerable” person as someone who has been on the streets for six months or more and has at least one of 12 exacerbating factors, such as: three of more ER visits in a year, HIV+/ AIDS, serious mental illness, or being at least 60 years old or 24 years old or younger.

Nearly half of the people identified in this year’s survey meet the program’s definition of vulnerable.

Participation in the 100,000 Homes Campaign is a reflection of increasing collaboration among the city’s outreach providers in an effort to achieve better long-term results through more efficient and effective support of the local homeless population.

“I’ve certainly seen increased collabora-

tion and coordination amongst providers, and it seems to me that we’re really moving forward in the right direction as a community,” Sideman said.

“Through the 100,000 Homes Campaign, we’ve been working with providers to create one registry and one common application so that, down the line, we have no waiting lists for individual programs and the people who are the most vulnerable are the next in line for supportive housing units.”

She noted that the Street Outreach and Rapid Response Team (SORTT) is “an integral part of connecting those people to housing.”

SORRT started in 2011 as a collective of service providers, including: Horizon House, Pourhouse, Eskenazi Medical Group, Midtown Community Mental Health Center’s Homeless Resource Team and the Community Outreach Task Force (or COT Force), which represents the combined efforts of police, court, ER, crisis intervention groups and homeless service providers. It is meant to streamline communication and prevent duplication of services among the city’s outreach and triage providers.

“Currently, people experiencing homelessness may need to travel around and fill out multiple applications. This way we’re

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DONNA: Where I stayed? If it wasn’t for my son, I couldn’t have stayed there. Rent was due every two weeks. My roommate and I were each paying $400 a month, for one room with bunk beds.

NUVO:So if you’ve got substance abuse problems and you’re on the street, you say “head to the Salvation Army?”

WILL: That would be a good start.

NUVO:And for women?

WILL: Doorways, bridges, abandoned vehicles. I hate to have to see the guys, guys I was on the streets with, out there in that. I feel like sometimes I’m not doing enough to emphasize the importance … that there are avenues to get out – but they have to want it.

DONNA: By any means necessary. For me, I put the same effort into my recovery as I did getting high. I want to speak at shelters or schools to talk about my experiences and where I am today.

WILL: The eight months I was in ARC, one dozen of the guys I was on the streets with, 12 guys died — two of my best friends, they died from alcoholism. I hope if anyone reads this article: Get off your butt and do what you have to do. Quit being lazy, quite depending on the government. You can get back in the main stream but you have to want it. cutting that process out,” Sideman said, explaining that moving toward greater efficiencies has been part of what agencies have been striving as they collaborate on their ongoing Blueprint to End Homelessness.

Instead of arresting a homeless person who has come to the police’s attention for loitering or disturbing the peace, members of the COT Force are trained to connect with the 24-7 SORRT response line in an attempt to connect the individual with services other than jail or the emergency room.

“We analyzed the data (from 2011) of 26 individuals that frequented the ER pretty much on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day,” said Melissa Burgess, SORRT coordinator at Horizon House.

Serving those individuals through SORTT over a 12-month period resulted in a savings of $193,000, she added. In these cases, she noted, SORTT achieved a 96 percent drop in the cost of outreach services.

Overall, SORTT served 91 people that year.

“Everybody sees homeless people, but not everybody sees what’s going on behind the scenes, which is the exact work that COT and SORRT are doing and is the goal of the 100,000 Homes Campaign — just improving the quality of life, besides just reducing the tax payer dollars,” Burgess said.

NEWS

PHOTO BY REBECCA TOWNSEND

A HUMOROUS APPROACH TO HOMELESSNESS Ray Miller has been drawing for most of his life — he’s been homeless for about eight years. About five years, ago under the New York Street Bridge, he began a series of doodles that eventually morphed into a series chronicling his experiences on the streets. His friend Jeremy first called it “Homeless Homies” and the name stuck. Ray draws several other strips as well. One tells of a space crew abandoned on Mars after government cutbacks, another chronicles the life of a human abducted as an alien pet, and still another is dedicated to a breed of super rats, escaped from a Downtown research lab, that now occupy the river banks. In the strip Miller shared this week with NUVO, he makes fun of the “signature sandwich” of homelessness — the PB&J.

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9

an, it’s a strange life being a cat-lebrity.

People want to take your picture all the time and send you their drawings and paintings of your face. Good Morning America is always calling; other Internet Cats get jealous and start feuds. People even tattoo your face on themselves.

Luckily, Bloomington’s Lil BUB seems to be taking it all in stride. This adopted local kitty blew up the Internet in the summer of 2012. She’s got a VICE-produced movie on the way, a book, a YouTube channel with over 3.2 million views, 93,000 fans on her Facebook page and more followers professing their love for her tiny, cute lil face than we could reasonably count.

Fittingly, BUB’s dude, Mike Bridavsky of Russian Recording, fell in love with BUB through a photo, the same way literally millions of people would do later. Already the owner of four cats, Bridavsky took BUB in and took responsibility for her — admittedly intensive — care. And so began the rise of BUB — from photo blog to YouTube channel to Internet Cat Video Film Festival (yes, that exists) hit.

Thank god she’s using her powers for good. 2012 was good for BUB, and a good year for BUB is a good year for adoptable animals everywhere. Bridavsky quickly realized he could harness the power of cute to educate, and thus BUB has become a

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strong advocate for adoption, spay-neuter programs and — perhaps most appropriately — special needs animals.

BUB and her dude launched BUB’s Bubuddies late last year, highlighting animals that need some special lovin’. She’s helped raise money for Jack, a tabby in need of a kidney transplant, Cindy Loo Hoo, who was hit by a car on Christmas Eve and Kohl, a black long-haired kitten born without a tail. BUB’s also raised significant contributions for Pets Alive, a spay-neuter program, The Exotic Feline Rescue Center, Monroe County Humane Society, and a handful of other animal advocacy programs.

We’ve loved this tiny cat for a long time, and finally took a road trip to visit her. In celebration of Valentine’s Day and all things cat love, we’re highlighting other special needs Bloomington kitties, all of which are available for adoption at Bloomington Animal Care and Control right now, as well as 15 other programs serving animals in Central Indiana. But first, let’s talk to BUB. NUVO: What’s a typical day in the life of BUB?

BUB: Hey it’s me, BUB. Oh, you know, nothing special. Eat, sleep, save the planet, sleep, repeat.

NUVO: Where did you come from, BUB? How did you meet your dude?

cover story // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

BUB: Well, I actually wound up here when my space pod crashed onto your planet, but no one seems to believe that. So, a more digestible version is that I was born the runt of an otherwise healthy litter of feral kittens in a tool shed in rural Indiana.

A nice woman found me and noticed that I was special and couldn’t nurse because of my funny mouth (and also because I’m an alien), so she took me in and bottle fed me.

She wasn’t able to give me a home, so once I was healthy enough to eat, her son gave me to his friend. His friend decided she couldn’t take another cat in, so she texted this other guy, my dude, a picture of me.

And apparently, he thought I was the best thing ever and took me home with him.

We’ve been roommates and best pals since.

NUVO: You’ve got some pretty unique traits, BUB. What should people know about unique cats like you?

BUB: Well, there aren’t any other cats like me — I’m the one and only bubcat. What you should know about me is that I am a “permakitten” which means I stay kitten-like forever.

This is due to a severe case of dwarfism. I also have remarkably giant green eyes, extra toes on every paw, opposable thumbs, an underdeveloped lower jaw, no teeth (they never grew in) and a magical tongue that hangs out

because of my jaw and lack of teeth. I also have an exceptionally rare bone disease called osteopetrosis which causes bone deformities in my limbs and causes me to walk funny.

Earth people call it an “army crawl.”

You should also know that I can travel through space and time, can see far into the future and deep into your soul, and I love fishes and yogurt.

NUVO: What’s so great about having a special needs bud?

BUB: I am a special needs bud because I am not from your planet. So it’s hard for me to walk around (the gravity here is really intense). I get confused about where to pee, but for some reason I know exactly where to poop. I need to eat special food and have to see the doctor regularly. I can’t do all of this without my dude, so he takes care of it all for me. For that, I am eternally grateful, and I reward him with unconditional love, beard cleanings and super human powers.

NUVO: Tell me about some of the animals you’ve helped with the Bubuddies program.

BUB: My Bubuddies Facebook page is a place for me to share stories about needy pets, animal shelters and other animal charities. There are a lot of animals that need homes or need help with their vet bills. So as a very fortunate

PHOTOS PROVIDED BY LILBUB.COM

Various BUB tributes, crafted by fans. Find more at lilbub.com.

special needs cat with a lot of influence, I try to help out my pals all over the world.

NUVO: How can animal lovers like us help?

BUB: There’s a lot you can do. For a start, you can help by simply choosing to adopt your pet from an animal shelter rather than from a breeder. There are millions of amazing homeless pets up for adoption every day in the U.S. And if people don’t adopt them, they have to be put under.

I am a perfect example of how you don’t need to go to a breeder to get the most amazing cat on the planet (that’s me).

Also, be sure you spay and neuter your pets. There is a horrible pet overpopulation problem in the U.S. — and all over the world — and the only direct solution is to spay and neuter. You can also help by encouraging others to do the same.

BUB as MEME Thoughts on Cat-lebrities Cat-lebrity, Internet sensation, animal rights activist and meme icon Lil BUB is a Bloomington native living not five blocks from where I am typing this very sentence. BUB could be described as the perfect storm of mutated cuteness; she has been blessed with dwarfism, a slacked tongue, and a lower jaw too small for her face. How, besides the Internet, in a state known mostly for obesity and in a town known mostly for binge drinking, could an adorably deformed four-legged critter reach the heights of fame which young Bub has accomplished? BUB’s rise in the blogosphere began like all great modern stories; not with a bang, but with a YouTube video.

As BUB’s dude says, “BUB’s fame started with her Tumblr blog and Instagram. A particular photo went viral and got to the front page of Reddit and since then everything kept growing. Then Buzzfeed published an article on her that went viral as well, and after that everything was crazy.”

Since this original introduction to the public, BUB has left a trail of blogospheric carnage in her paw steps. Jezebel, Buzzfeed and Jakprints have all jumped on the

Beyond that, you can donate to your local humane association, pet rescue or animal shelter. (Editor’s note: See our local organizations on page 12.) These places are filled with amazing people who dedicate their lives to helping out homeless, neglected and abused animals, and any contribution big or small, will help them save more amazing animals like me.

NUVO: Who are some other famous Internet cats you’ve met on your travels?

BUB: I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Colonel Meow. In fact, he will be appearing in my upcoming book. I also met Pudge the Cat in Minneapolis. She was scared of me.

NUVO: Why do you think people love cats so much, BUB?

BUB bandwagon. Even hipster bible Vice Magazine has lifted its dusty nose from the coke pile to give Lil BUB some loving nods.

These sources, while impressive, make sense for an Internet sensation like Bub to find refuge. Cute memes are cool, simply because of their stupidity. pidity. The cultured consumer of these sortss of memes enjoys the sensasation of cuteness and the he added bonus of feeling ng decadent by consuming ng something so vapid. It is because of this that BUB’s B’s biggest accomplishment, ent, in this reporter’s eyes, es, was her appearance on Good Morning America. a.

The GMA audience isn’t n’t bracing itself against st BUB or consuming her er cute-as-hell visage with h an ironic or cynical slant. They are consuming and viewing ewing BUB from a perspective ve without tongue-in-cheek pretense retense or self satire. BUB has gone beyond ond the Internet.

What is perhaps most interesting about BUB, as a cat-lebrity, is the anthropomorphized world humans have created around her. BUB is currently involved in a feud that would give Lil Kim and Nicki Minaj a run for their money. BUB’s completely manu-

BUB: The same reason they love tacos and pizza, ’cause they’re awesome.

NUVO: You’ve traveled to New York, Minnesota, and all over Indiana. What’s your favorite part of traveling with your dude? Share a memory from your travels with us.

BUB: Yeah, I like to travel cause it’s the closest I’ll get to flying my space pod again. I remember one time when we were in New York City and this crazy bird flew over my head while a man was eating a hot dog only two feet away.

That was incredible.

NUVO: Your friends on the Internet have sent you some pretty interesting fan art.

What’s your favorite BUB tribute?

factured animosity for fellow cat-lebrity Tard the Grumpy Cat has been reported in The Huffington Post, who even released an exclusive interview with Bub about the dramatic throwdown between her and Tard.

I must admit, while reviewing these blogs, my mind went places that make me p cringe to admit. I found myself mysel thinking, “Who does this Grumpy Cat asshole assho think he is?! He has one cheap trick — looking like a downer, looki while BUB can show a goddamned impressive godda range of emotions!” The life we w have projected onto BUB may be just one example of a large er, cat-centric cultural c trend. trend The Internet, our expansive human experiexpan ence database, is literally d brimming with images and articles of cats.

A quick datac base search for the th word “cat pulls up 1.99 billion results; results that’s more than the words “porn” (1.36 billion), “politics (1.06 billion) or even “death” (1.61 billion). And as Smosh.com says at the top of its “Ten Most Influential Cats of 2012” list (on which BUB placed in the top three, of course), “The Internet rules

BUB: You know I have to say, I love it all. We don’t have art on my planet, so every one of these things blows my mind. In fact, it’s the only thing on your planet that is a mystery to me.

NUVO: Your dude works in the music industry — what are some of your favorite tunes, BUB? Do you listen to music from your hometown of Bloomington?

BUB: I only like and listen to one song.

It’s “Tom Sawyer” by RUSH. My dude is pretty sick of it.

NUVO: We’re celebrating Valentine’s Day tomorrow. What are some things you love, BUB?

BUB: Most of all I love myself. Besides that I love fishes, yogurt and hot air balloons. our life. Cats rule the Internet. Ipso facto, cats rule us all.”

Whether you think cat-lebrities are adorable, abominable or overdone, it’s hard to resist BUB’s charm — and impossible to deny her fame. We, as Hoosiers don’t exactly have an extensive list of celebrities which carry our thoughts and hearts into the national spotlight. It is hard to find, hrough art, science or non-sporting entertainment, a proper outlet for our abundant state pride. Perhaps BUB is our chosen one! BUB’s fame is so innocent and charming that she may be our last best hope for a public relations defense against the Jacksons. (When searching Indiana celebrities two of the most searched names are James Dean with 94.5 million results and Michael Jackson with 4.51 million results. BUB may not even be close to these two icons with her 1.77 million, but she sure is creeping up to Vivica A. Fox’s 4.78 million!)

I, for one, am proud to say that BUB is my neighbor. Despite my pseudo-intellectual desire to call for more gratifying entertainment, I just can’t escape the fact that Lil BUB might just be the most human meme I have ever encountered.

— JULIAN WILDHACK-POYSER PHOTO BY KELLY LYNN MITCHELL

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Area Animal Advocacy Programs Although Lil BUB was never in a shelter, animals just like her are cared for lovingly every day in programs throughout Central Indiana. If we could, we’d give a full page to each and every animal rescue and resource provider in the state. Alas, we are contained by the limits of space and time.

We’ve rounded up, as best as we are able, a fairly comprehensive selection of animal resources in Central Indiana: if you’re looking to adopt, rescue a specific breed, find an assistance dog, spay or neuter or volunteer your time, it’s very likely you’ll find a spot to do that near you. Contact information is linked through our site.

Four of these organizations received large grants from the Nina Mason Pulliam Charitable Trust in early 2013. With this grant, FACE will be able to double its spay-neuter capactiy from 3,000 to 6,000; the Southside Animal Shelter will have two years of program support for their Silver Tails program, which rescues older and special needs dogs; Cat’s Haven can build a free-roaming santuary for more than 100 sick, homeless and feral cats; and the Humane Society of Indianapolis can unite animal organizations in a communitywide public relations campaign.

HUMANE SOCIETY OF INDIANAPOLIS With a full array of services and events, two low cost spay-neuter clinics and a large selection of adoptable animals, The Humane Society of Indianapolis should be one of the first places on your list to stop in when you’re searching for your new best friend. There’s a dog park on the premises; join the Mutt Strut each year on the Motor Speedway or visit one of the 10,000 animals that are taken in each year. IndyHumane is a non-profit organization.

INDIANAPOLIS ANIMAL CARE AND CONTROL We must, must support the IACC. Overwhelmed and underfunded, many animals are put down due to space constraints yearly. Your adoption from the IACC saves lives. IACC is the largest animal shelter in Indiana, taking in over 18,000 animals yearly. If you can’t adopt, consider fostering an animal in your home. (Editor’s note: The writer of this piece is a foster parent for cats from the IACC. Email julie.zink@indy.gov for more info.)

CASA DEL TORO Casa Del Toro educates the public on pit bulls and works to end dog fighting in the state by faciliatating adoptions and assisting in the rescue of fighting dogs. They also work with Indianapolis Care and Control as part of the Kennel Enrichment Program — keeping adoptable dogs destressed to encourage appropriate behavior.

Bloomington Special Needs animals for Adoption SUBMITTED PHOTO

BUB meets her (bigger) kin at the Exotic Feline Rescue Center. A portion of funds from the purchase of any piece of BUB merch goes to the EFRC.

breeding, neglect and abuse.” So says the Indy Pit Crew, who works to improve the perception and prospects for pit bulls in Indianapolis and beyond. They host community pet days and vaccine clinics and accept volunteers.

MENDED HEARTS RESCUE This animal rescue specializes in animals that need a little extra TLC — they work with all breeds and ages.

ALLIANCE FOR RESPONSIBLE PET OWNERSHIP (ARPO) ARPO adopts out approximately 300 pets per year. All animals are in volunteer foster homes and place all animals inside a 50 mile radius of Indianapolis.

Hollie is an orange female tabby. Hollie’s “special need” is her age (9 years) and timidness.

She is a wonderful, sweet cat who is often overlooked due to her age and shy demeanor.

She would do well in a quiet home where she can lounge around and catch up on her sleep.

FACE / INDYFERAL The first high-volume, low-cost spay/neuter clinic in Indy was formed in 1993. Now, they run the Neighborhood Cat Progam with IndyFeral, which has so far fixed 800 neighborhood cats (at the end of 2011).

FACE and IndyFeral merged, and are working to create a “no-kill Indianapolis.” FACE / IndyFeral also offer adoptable animals.

Katie is a black domestic short hair female. Katie came to us missing both of her eyes. She does not seem to have any trouble locating her food, water or litter boxes. She is so content to just lie in your lap and purr for as long as you will let her.

CATS HAVEN INDY Cats Haven is exactly what it sounds — a haven for kitties in transition. They’re a no-kill, non-institutional, no-cage shelter that houses both adoptable cats and those felines who have outlived their owners.

RETAILS INDY reTails operates Indy’s first mall pet adoption center in Washington Square Mall; operated completely by volunteers, and open on the weekend, dogs and cats are adopted out for a small fee (with shots, already spayed and neutered).

Lover Boy is a black and white male domestic short hair. Lover Boy came to us with a unique special need — he is missing all but one tooth.

He is only about 3-4 years of age and he was a stray so we are not sure how he ended up with just one tooth. This doesn’t seem to cause any problem with his appetite, but he will require just a little extra TLC. He is a very sweet boy who is a little shy and can always be found sleeping in the same bed in our colony room.

SOUTHSIDE ANIMAL SHELTER “True love is rescued,” says the SSAS. They take on animals at risk for euthanasia and place them; if they can’t be placed immediately, they can stay at the Southside Animal Shelter indefinitely.

PAWS & THINK PAWS & Think serves at-risk canines and teens — youth train shelter pups and learn responsibility. They also provide therapy dogs to youth, adults and those with special needs.

FROM THE HEART RESCUE, INC.

FRIENDS OF INDIANAPOLIS DOGS OUTSIDE (FIDO)

A no-kill non-profit located in Carmel, From the Heart places animals with loving families.

FIDO is an all-volunteer group working to better the living conditions for dogs that are continuously chained outdoors. They provide on-site microchipping, fencing, kenneling and other supplies to assistance owners in the better care of their animals.

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is a black domestic short hair male.

He came to us as a stray with a broken back leg. He was kept comfortable during his stray hold and then had his hind leg amputated while being neutered. He is a gentle and curious cat.

SNSI and its board of volunteers work to provide surgical assistance fees and education to help reduce the overpopulation of animals in the state.

ICAN trains and places assistance dogs with Hoosiers with disabilities. And it’s a double rehab program — incarcerated Hoosiers train the pups before they’re placed.

“Instead of rescuing dogs and trying to empty the proverbial bathtub with a thimble, we are here to educate and put a stop to the

Gabe

SPAY-NEUTER SERVICES OF INDIANA

INDIANA CANINE ASSISTANCE NETWORK (ICAN)

INDY PIT CREW

A few weeks ago, Lil BUB stopped in at Bloomington Animal Care and Control to visit the other adoptable special needs animals. These are the animals featured (and available) on her visit, which was filmed for Bloomington Cable Access.

cover story // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

Cuddles is a gray and white female tabby. She has little to no vision. She has trouble jumping and getting around in new environments.

She is healthy in all other aspects but finding a home has been difficult. She really loves to have her head and chin rubbed. At times it seems like she can see shadows and track a movement briefly. Her name is true to her demeanor. She really does just want to cuddle.

Porter

is a male black/brown pit bull mix. Porter spent his early puppy days living outside with his brother before coming to the shelter. They were both extremely under socialized and riddled with mange. After a stint of antibiotics and other medications, his brother was adopted, causing Porter to regress socially. He became aggressive to strangers and was just not coping well in the shelter. He is now in a foster home where he lives with another dog. His special needs are a social need and behavioral need. He must live with another dog and he must have an owner he can trust. He has come a long way but will need more corrective training. While he is shy and wary of new people, he is also a funny, spunky dog who loves going to the dog park.

He really thrives with other dogs.

All information provided by Emily Herr, Outreach Coordinator for Bloomington Animal Care and Control. Call 812-349-3492 for more information on these animals.

PHOTOS BY BLOOMINGTON ANIMAL CARE AND CONTROL

go&do

For comprehensive event listings, go to nuvo.net/calendar

CONTINUES 13 WEDNESDAY

The Lincolns: Five Generations of an American Family @ Indiana State Museum A new show at the Indiana State Museum, The Lincolns: Five Generations of an American Family, offers an engaging, gutsy and occasionally revelatory alternate history of Abraham Lincoln’s sixgeneration American ancestry.

“I’m interested in presenting people in a more complete fashion,” explained R. Dale Ogden, chief curator of Cultural History at the Indiana State Museum, during a walkthrough prior to the exhibition’s official opening. “The Lincoln family is much more complex and interesting than the stereotypes that have evolved. In presenting this exhibit I wanted to freshen up the story.”

The popular perception that Lincoln was a hayseed from way back is challenged with the sketching of his family tree, beginning from Samuel Lincoln’s arrival at the Massachusetts Colony in 1637 at the age of 14. “There are still Lincolns up and down the East Coast,” Ogden pointed out.

But because there is no evidence that Abraham interacted with these coastal family members, the exhibit hones in on his lineage beginning from Captain Abraham Lincoln, whose murder was witnessed by 8-year-old Thomas, Abraham Lincoln’s father. In line with the then-custom of primogeniture, the eldest son Mordecai inherited the property.

Subsequently, Thomas moved frequently with his mother and his siblings and was deprived of a formal education.

“The opinion of Tom is evolving,” said Ogden, a Lincoln scholar with particular interest in Thomas. “It is much more accurate to say he was a skilled carpenter and a farmer on the side. He was a community leader.”

A gem in the exhibit is a corner cabinet with its own intriguing history revealing Tom Lincoln’s “artisan signatures” throughout its construction.

Tom’s not the only one who’s gotten short shrift, according to Ogden. Mary Todd Lincoln is also due for rehabilitation: “Placing her in context of her time we learn how extraordinary she was with twelve years of formal education in classical and popular literature and music.”

Mary Todd’s life is placed in the context early 19th century Southern culture, with particular attention on her father’s insistence that she “be involved, be aware,” and become an interesting conversationalist in order to interact with the leading figures of enterprise and politics regularly visiting the Todd household.

Historians dwell on the death of Abraham Lincoln’s mother, but often fail to mention the death of Mary Todd’s mother, accord-

onnuvo.net 14

STARTS 14 THURSDAY

Shoshana Bean: Get Happy, The Streisand Songbook @ The Cabaret

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Abraham Lincoln’s childhood “sum book”

ing to Ogden. “It’s important to recognize that while Abraham was nine when his mother died and subsequently was raised by a supportive and loving stepmother, Mary was only six when her mother died and she lived with a stepmother who did not like her. This affected her profoundly.”

Abraham Lincoln is sometimes portrayed as someone who ventured, failed, tried again and failed, until one day he got up from a log cabin and entered the White House. By contrast, The Lincolns shows how Abe planned out his life in the manner of a career politician.

He served appointed positions as a surveyor and postmaster before studying law.

He built a lucrative practice representing the railroad industry, during which time he most certainly acquired the expertise and backing he needed to run for political office.

We observe Abraham and Mary Lincoln as an upper middle class professional family.

We learn that during much of the time their eldest son, Robert, was growing up, Abraham was traveling, making Mary Robert’s primary caregiver. Understanding this is important in sorting out the truths surrounding actions regarding his mother in later years. Some historians have rendered him heartless, but this exhibit asks us to look at all aspects of the situation, in light of the early bonding between Mary and Robert.

It’s through Robert’s marriage with Mary Harlan — and their children and grandchildren — that the exhibit looks at two more generations of Lincolns and their impact into the 20th century.

As part of the Civil War sesquicentennial running through 2015, this is an extraordinary portrayal of a real family.

What makes the show essential is the way it strips away errors and builds up truth.

— RITA KOHN

Through Aug. 4, included with regular museum admission ($9 adults, $8.50 seniors, $5 children), indianamuseum.org

BLOGS

9 to 5 at Beef & Boards, Sinatra at ISO reviews

by Rita Kohn

go&do // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

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WEDNESDAY

Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth @ Murat Theatre at Old National Centre “Don’t get me wrong; it’s really tough, extremely tough,” Mike Tyson told us a few weeks about performing on stage.

“That’s why I’m doing it, and that’s why people want to see me doing it. I won’t do nothing if I won’t risk humiliating myself; that’s just what it is, where it has to be very precise, there has to be perfect timing, for it to be successful.

I’m a rush junkie or something.” Those inclined to aid and abet Mike’s rushseeking behavior ought to head down this Wednesday to the Murat, where Tyson will kick off the national tour of his Spike Lee-directed one-man show, Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth. For the record: Yes, he does talk about his rape conviction during the show. Yes, he maintains that he’s innocent of the charge. But no, he isn’t starting the tour here to make a point; according to the show’s producers, it was an accident of tour scheduling that Indianapolis is the first stop. Tyson premiered the show in Las Vegas, and Lee came on as director prior to its Broadway premiere. Head to nuvo.net for an interview with Tyson printed a couple weeks back in these pages.

7:30 p.m.; $29.50-59.50 (plus “applicable fees), VIP package available; oldnationalcentre.com

Third Man at UIndy review by Chantal Incandela Bicycle Diaries of a Big Girl by Katelyn Coyne

We jumped the gun on this one when we included it in Go&Do last week. Or to look at it another way, we gave you, dear reader, an extra week to plan out your visit to The Cabaret. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Shoshana Bean, a Broadway vet who was in the original Broadway cast of Hairspray and who took over Idina Menzel’s role in Wicked on Broadway and in a national tour, will sing all her faves from Streisand’s repertoire, including “Cry Me a River,” “On a Clear Day” and “Don’t Rain on My Parade.” The three-night run precedes the Feb. 12 release of her second album, O’Farrell Street, a Kickstarter financed soul and R&B record.

Feb. 14-16, 8 p.m. @ The Cabaret at the Columbia Club, 121 Monument Circle; tickets $35-55 ($12 food or beverage minimum); thecabaret.org

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SATURDAY

Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra with Spencer Myer and Steven Stolen @ Athenaeum Theatre The Indianapolis Chamber Orchestra heads back to cabaret’s stomping grounds of yore Saturday for a show with vocalist and moment-stealer Steven Stolen and American Pianists Association fellow Spencer Myer highlighted by a performance of pasty king ‘o’ jazz Paul Whiteman’s original arrangement of Rhapsody in Blue. With Kirk Trevor, as usual, on the podium.

8 p.m., tickets $25 adult, $12 student (reserved table seating); icomusic.org

PHOTOS

Indy Film Fest’s $10k grant win at Big Car’s 5X5 Meet the Artists 25th Anniversary

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SATURDAY

Indiana Wind Symphony plays Mahler @ The Palladium

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SATURDAY

Willie Claflin presents Miss Satan for President @ Indiana History Center Victoria Claflin Woodhull, Miss Satan if you’re nasty, goes down in history as the first woman to run for president — way back in 1872, with abolitionist Frederick Douglass as her running-mate. She was also a clairvoyant (or so she claimed), a businesswoman, an advocate for women’s rights and sexual freedom — and, as it happens, Willy Claflin’s great-great aunt. Clafin, who has something over 1,000 songs of the British Isles and Appalachia at his fingertips, will tell the story of Miss Satan in story and song Saturday night as a guest of Storytelling Arts.

7:30 p.m.; tickets $20 advance (storytellingarts.org), $25 door. Claflin will also perform his Maynard Moose Tales, accompanied by a moose puppet, Feb. 15 at 7:30 p.m. at the Indiana History Center.

Mahler’s Symphony No. 1 in D has been heard a few times in Indy — but, to be sure, only as played by a symphony orchestra. So, for a change, this Saturday at the Palladium, the 75-piece Indiana Wind Symphony will present the Midwest premiere of an arrangement for wind ensemble of Mahler’s 1888 symphony.

Given Mahler’s taste for huge cohorts of brass and winds — one contemporary critic dismissed his sixth symphony as being defined by “Even more brass, nothing but brass!” — it should prove a happy transmutation from one form to another. Also on the program are selections from the Mozart’s Serenade in B flat, also known as “Gran Partita” and originally written for 13 wind instruments.

7:30 p.m. @ The Palladium at the Center for the Performing Arts, Carmel; tickets $1535; thecenterfortheperformingarts.org

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Butler student Kerry Stauffer (left) with Pigeons playwright Dan Barden

20 STARTS 16 SATURDAY

Butler Ballet’s Midwinter Dance Festival @ Clowes Memorial Hall Sergei Diaghilev’s choreography to Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring was a lot of things — primal, relentless — but it wasn’t all that funny. Then along came Paul Taylor.

His 1980 Le Sacre du Printemps (The Rehearsal) takes a two-piano arrangement of Stravinsky’s modernist classic and adds a private eye, his waifish client and a bunch of hooligans, along with, on another plane of the 30-minute ballet’s plot, a rehearsal mistress overseeing the proceedings. Le Sacre du Printemps (The Rehearsal) is the centerpiece of Butler Ballet’s Midwinter Dance Festival; also on the bill are original works by Butler dance faculty and guest faculty.

Feb. 15-16, 8 p.m.; $21.50-28.50 adults (discounts available); butler.edu

WEDNESDAY

Pigeons @ Butler University Theatre Dan Barden’s excellent second novel, The Next Right Thing, explores the nittygritty of the sponsor/new member relationship in Alcoholics Anonymous, and, in particular, the fallout when the seemingly recovered go astray. Barden, an associate prof in Butler’s Creative Writing program, has a new play for Butler students to dig in on this winter that touches on similar concerns. Sarah Simone is a popular sponsor with a devoted following who’s knocked off her equilibrium when a daughter she gave up for adoption 15 years back shows up at her home meeting. Directing is Diane Timmerman, recently appointed chair of Butler’s theatre department.

Previews Feb. 20-21 at 8 p.m.; then Feb. 22-23, 28, March 1 at 8 p.m. and Feb. 24, March 2-3 at 2 p.m. @ Lilly Hall Studio Theatre 168, Butler University; tickets $15 general admission (discounts available); butler.edu 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // go&do

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The Quiet Sports Expo’s kayak challenge pond (top), and Cliff Jacobson on the water.

STARTS 15 FRIDAY

Quiet Sports Expo @ Indiana State Fairgrounds Put away your snowmobile, your dune buggy, your plutonium-powered jetpack.

The 4th annual Quiet Sports Expo is ostensibly part of the Boat, Sport and Travel Show, which runs Feb. 15 to 24 at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, but its focus is, as the name suggests, on activities that take a minimum toll on the environment: hiking, kayaking, canoeing, mountain biking, rock climbing, fly fishing and so on.

No namby-pambys allowed, according to guest speaker Cliff Jacobson, a retired environmental science teacher (and IU and Purdue grad) who has authored more than a dozen books on canoeing and the outdoors. “If you take people out in the outdoors you can turn a like into love, you can turn a love into deep love and you can turn a hatred into toleration. But you can’t turn a hatred into love,” says Jacobson, rather a curmudgeonly figure who’s nothing if not realistic about the likelihood of drawing inside cats out into the wild.

“Everybody starts at zero,” says Jacobson, who fell in love with canoeing at age 11,

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go&do // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

then went on to become an Eagle Scout and take an interest in competitive shooting.

“Everybody has to learn. The trouble is that some people don’t want to learn.”

Those who do have a hankering for knowledge will find that a portion of Jacobson’s presentation focuses on wilderness survival skills, with a focus on what kind of gear is really necessary. “Most people think that they can solve their problem by buying something,” Jacobson says.

“If you know what you’re doing and you’ve got lousy equipment, you’ll survive.”

Most designer gear isn’t fit for the outdoors, according to Jacobson, while adventurers often lack the basic map and compass skills that could help them to survive in even the most difficult situation.“Most people buy things instead of developing skills,” he says. “There’s not a lot of people that understand that skills are more important than things.”

Toward that end, the Quiet Sports Expo will feature a demonstration and education area featuring a canoe and kayak challenge pond, a rock wall and a diverse series of lectures and demonstrations on the kinds of wilderness skills that Jacobson thinks are criminally overlooked by the average outdoorsy dilettante.

Feb. 15-24, ticket prices vary, indysportshow.com

CAN YOU FEEL the love?

lovenotes

NUVO READERS SHARED THE LOVE THIS VALENTINES DAY AND SUBMITTED THEIR NOTES FOR THIS SPECIAL, SOMETIMES MUSHY, SOMETIMES COMICAL, COLLECTION OF LOVE NOTES.

Chris, I love you, I love you, I love you, I do. And always remember, I love your monkey butt too.

Happy day, little spoon!

— EM H.

Bear, let’s drink good beer, eat good food, and celebrate the rest of our lives together. love always and forever, YOUR KENTUCKY KINDRED SPIRIT

James, You are now and will ALWAYS be My Perfect Valentine! I LOVE YOU BABY! — RANDISA

Happy Valentine’s Day Gavin! I love you more than anything in the world!!!

— TONI S.

Kyle, “If you ever get mauled by a bear with chainsaw hands, I hope he stays away from your face because you’re kinda cute.”

— JESSICA B. Danny, For being my brightest Moon & Stars.

I love you!

XOXO, ALYSSA Terry, Life has taught us that love doesn’t consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

LOVE, JULIE Kathy, Tyler + Love X Infinity = Kathy Happy Valentines Day! LOVE, TYLER Michelle, My darling Michelle, here’s to another decade of love, fun and adventure in our wonderful life. Happy Valentine’s Day! — ADAM H. David, I loved you yesterday. I love you still. I always have and I always will.

— MELINDA J. To all my Indiana friends, I miss you all!! Much love from your girl in Virginia.

— JUDEE Crystal, I can’t say enough how much I Love You and appreciate everything you do to make our home and life filled with love.

LOVE, GREG Lucius, Happy Valentine’s Day!!! I love you with all my heart! Forever and Always! <3 — MEGAN ANN XOXO

Robin, I love you eternally.

Will you marry me?

YOUR JEDIDIAH

Betsy F., I hope your day is as beautiful as you are!

— EW Mark R., Boba and Leia’s Love Goes to Infinity & Beyond. Nerds Forever. Us forever.

— BLAIRE H. Hey Peanut, Two slices of bread, a little peanut butter and a pickle - the perfect sandwich.

LOVE -DJrKi, Babe I love you more then steak and french fries my love — MIKIE B. Elaine, Wait for me, and you will see, a match made in heaven, forever we will be.

— TODD Tom, The best friend and lover this Yank could ask for! I love you! “YES. YES. Say it. He vas my BOYFRIEND,” and always will be!

— CATHERINE C. DAIJI, we are two edamame in a pod (you’re the slightly misshapen one). You, me, osenbei, Vegas: let’s do it. I love you!

— JANE Danny, I choo choo choose you!

— KAYLA D.

Jason W., You are my Zing! Love you!

— ANGELA R. To My Mocha Man, This is our special year for love. Love you more! LMCW2b — KSX “BUTTONS”

Sharina, I don’t have much money, only love.

I want you to know you will always be my Valentine. Love you forever.

— DAKOTA J.

Pheng, I wish I had the courage to say this to you in person. I love you, and I’d be your forever boo any day.

— LEE R.

BNP, I can’t wait to call you my wife.

Cloud, Pookie, you’ve been making the sun shine since ‘99. I think I’m in like with you, more than my like for frozen yogurt.

— LOLA J.

LOVE JAP

Trixe, My love for you can never be scrubbed away. It’s indescrubable.

XO, MANDREA Anthony, My dearest love, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about us, together.

WITH LOVE AND MY RESPECT, CHANH Diane, After 49 years 6 months of richer and poorer better and worse and you’re still the strawberry blonde from Bugsy Cooper’s class in my eyes.

— PHILIP S.

Juanny, You’re the best man I’ve ever met, in all ways, and the only man for me, always. I love you deeply, boundlessly, and unconditionally.

— SHELLEBELLE Lance, The shortest word I know is “I.” The sweetest word I know is “LOVE.” And the person I never forget is “YOU.” — MYNX Keichell, You are my love poem.

— ALEX T.

Naughty Dreadlocks, You are my matching puzzle piece. I love you! Happy VD day!

XOXO, TEMPTRESS LAURA Gtcharleys, Missed you last Valentines Day ...

We have some making up to do ... So lets find a place and hang out together... See what pops up.

— MUFFIA B.

Fran, you’re like a bottle of the finest wine — exquisite. Your half makes us whole. My life would be empty without your love.

— KEVIN M. Thaddaus, I love you. I look forward to our new life and new little one! Surprise!!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, SHAMIKA

Arika, Thank you so much for our son. I love you baby girl forever and always. Happy Valentines Day. — EDDIE K.

Nathan, “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” I love you. P.S. My security code on this site is “commie.”

— LIZ R.

Toby, You’ll always be the most important man in my life!

— AMAZAINA D.

My HoneyBear, I still think I hit the jackpot when I married you my sweet Honey-Bear.

Looking forward to years ahead. Love U today, tomorrow & forever.

— DONNA (CUTIE PIE)

Eric, I can not wait to be your wife!

— LEBETH D. To the Sheriff of Crooked Creek & Rocker Jazz: It’s a good thing I never could have imagined this life because, despite the endless challenges, I never could have imagined anything sweeter.

I’m forever in debt for how you’ve opened my heart. My love for you will never die.

XXOO THE RESIDENT JOURNALIST

Lesley, You are the most beautiful girl I’ve seen, and even though you are my best friend, you never cease to take my breath away.

— NATHAN T. Ryan G., From the halls of grade school to the world wide web, I am glad that you came back into my life. Forever yours.

LOVE, AMY R.

Mush, I love you with all my heart babe!

— TREVOR P.

M, after 14years, you’re still my everything.

—DLC

Tina, If I had the chance I would take back all the hurt and pain and make us the most important thing once again. If only.

— JIMMY S.

Ian, Love you like a fat kid loves cake!

— KRISTA R.

Tamara, To the Lady that I love, To the Lady that I adore. You add the zest to my life I LOVE YOU, BK Maude, You’re my best friend and dearest love.

I know we have a lifetime of travel, passion, music and happiness ahead of us.

LOVE YOU HAROLD Roman, Mama and Daddy are so thrilled to be sharing our 3rd Valen-versary with you, our heart!

— ANGELA S.

Traci, I love you Butter Dumpkins!!

Mein Schatz! Your love is the best gift I can imagine for my Valentine Birthday. I return it to you, now and forever.

— DEIN SCHATZL Lauren, It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

— RAFAL M. Jerred, You are my favorite “What If.” — LORI R. Mary, in the words of Sinead O’Conner...

Nothing compares... nothing compares....to yoooooouuuuuuuu!!!

— JOSH

“DGD, You’re sweet and I like you — after all you’re the reason I drink double seven and sevens.”

— JLF

Brice, Love and kisses to my tall, sexy, honey badger.

— TESSA W.

Jimmy, Forever & Always LOVE, DEENA C. OXOXO

Em, You’re smart, funny and beautiful. You’re kind, generous and true. You’re absolutely wonderful. And I love you!

— XO MAMA

Mama Suz, You’re still my one in a million! Let’s do 30 more years together.

— DAMON R. GWA, Glad to be the Spock to your Captain Kirk.

Happy Valentine’s Day! — ASP

Tom M, We’re too adorbs for words. ilu!

— KATIE M.

To the only man in my life! My furry feline, Ringo <3 — LAURA C.

TWO, Happy Valentines Day Mi Amor’ I love you! <3 — JESSI W.

Ian loves NUVO <3

Christos, “If you bring home the turkey, I’ll bring home the bacon.” I love you baby cakes.

— SAMANTHA H.

Michael, 20 years and counting. Wishing the love of my life, a Happy Valentines Day. — SHAUN B.

Pete, As Shakespeare said, “ My heart is ever at your service.” and as Al Green crooned, “Let’s stay together...” I love you.

— KK

Andrew, You are as handsome as Captain Mal, as clever as Minecraft Steve, and as cuddly as a companion cube.

LOVE, DEBORAH

Brandon, Happy Valentine’s Day and thanks for being the greatest husband any wife could ask for.

LOVE ALWAYS, LEA

Randall, You are the love of my life and my best friend.

— VICTORIA W.

I love you because we connect at our souls. My soulmate for life. Red, you’re my QUEEN! — LYNNE L.

Mel, Your happiness is vital to mine so hopefully this makes you smile. Happy Valentine’s Day! — LANCE W. Going to grow so old with you, Baby. My Best Friend and Soulmate! XOXOXOXOXO! — TONYA E. To the love of my life, April. I can’t believe it’s been almost 10 years, and I’m looking forward to many more!

LOVE, TRISTAN If I could know you, truly know you....I could feel success in its most honest form.

— ASHTEN H. Pizza, there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can’t be improved because of you.

— KIMMI M. I pray for the day that I get to stay and play under the duvet with May Armour Fidelis — JEREMY G. I love you with all my HEART KRIS ARNOLD! <3 — CHARLIE C. Missing you on Valentine’s Day and everyday.

— JACKIE B.

— CASEY L.

Rose, To the sweetheart I have always dreamed of having and to another day of loving you, Happy Valentine’s Day! — MELISSA T.

In songs love lived and wasn’t true. I know now it is with you. Every curve and touch is new.

Jenna, I Love you.

— ROBERT

It’s hard to put the words together to describe how I feel about my amazing friends and family. But here goes: From the bottom of my anatomically correct, illustrated heart, I really appreciate your faces.

Happy Valentine’s.

— ME

JL, I would love you more if you brought me a red bull.

— MM 25 words is not enough to tell Indy how much I adore one L Geezy, NUVO, and Kate Brig-Da-De-Bragg!

— JL Eric, You are the best man a women could ask for and I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I love you so, so much.

— ASHLEY C. Shellbelle, You are an amazingly smart, gorgeous, funny, and charming woman. I will love you always.

— JOHNNY G. Marfa, Everyday with you is a gift. Even the bad ones. I love you.

— DAN S. Dave’s Tumor, I’m glad you’re gone! Good riddance!

LOVE, CANCER SUX!

Abraham. Love my gnome!

MOM XOXOXX

Isaac, you are my sun and my stars and my moon.

Thank you for brightening my world, my love.

— EMILY Hannah B, I can never take the place of your MOM, but I love you like my own daughter!

— AUNT PATTY P, I love you more than I love lamp!

FOREVER YOUR GIRL, M Meef Weefer, War’s good for nothing, Except spontaneous bursts, Revealing our love.

— NAP NEEPER Kate, you’re such a lovely cup!

— AMY W.

Happy V-Day Bubbaloo! Bahamas in April. Iowa in June. House in chaos:) I love you!

— KELLY P. Dear Broad Ripple Village, I will always love you and sometimes wish I had never moved away.

D. JONES, CARMEL, IN. Angie, Here is the deal of the week. You and me on the far away sea. Be my valentine!

LOVE GARY Sending all my love to my wittle valentine love muffin do hookie.

— LOVE PANDA Happy Valentines Day to my Little Snow Bunny.

— ANGELO S. Still love you even after 20+ years.

— KATHY F.

Mary, You are only one person in this world, but to this one person you are the world. I heart you something crazy!

— PATRICK S. Taylor, You’re sweeter than honey. Cuter than kittens. Please be my valentine. I’ll be really smitten.

— CALLIE

Submissions made by NUVO readers were subject to NUVO approval and may have been edited.

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // love notes 17

A&E FEATURE Kathleen Madigan’s no-nonsense world Just the jokes, please

BY KATHERINE COPLEN KCOPLEN@NUVO.NET For such a funny person, Kathleen Madigan’s pretty serious. She’s serious about selling tickets; she’s serious about being done with podcasts; and she’s really serious about jokes. Jokes like “I am going to hell and I’m looking forward to it. I’ll finally get to meet Madonna.” Or “If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?” Or “Kids: It’s like living with homeless people.”

Madigan, 47, has spent time in Iraq and Afghanistan (on a USO Holiday Tour with Lewis Black and Robin Williams), but her time on NBC’s Last Comic Standing may have been more grueling, as she told us during a recent phone interview.

NUVO: I heard you say on a morning radio show when asked about your plans for the future: “I haven’t planned anything thus far, and it’s turned out great.” Still not planning?

KATHLEEN MADIGAN: I don’t plan anything. I mean, things happen. The night before last, I was taping another Ron White Salute to the Troops special for CMT that they show all year long. It’s the third one, and I didn’t plan on that.

I just like telling jokes, so as long as I have gigs, to me that’s fine. I don’t really want to be in movies, I don’t want a sitcom. This was my goal, to tell jokes in front of real people without television cameras; to just have a live night and then go to the bar. That was the plan, and it’s worked out perfectly.

NUVO: I feel like those younger comics are flipping over to the insane comedy podcast scene. Comedians are the only group of people that will break every boundary in interviews – way more interesting to me than musicians or politicians.

Do you listen to any comedy podcasts?

I know you’ve been on quite a few.

MADIGAN: I think [the podcast scene] is like comedy clubs. There’s too many now. Comedy went from a bunch of really good clubs to billions of clubs and now we’re back to just the good clubs. I think the podcast thing – there’s probably ten people that should actually be doing it, and now everybody’s doing it. I mean, I’m surprised my mom doesn’t have one. It’s that overdone.

I don’t want to be mean, but [podcasters], come on, I’ve done a hundred of these. You’re too late. I’m done. I’m out.

I mean, Marc Maron’s [WTF] is great and worth doing. There’s probably ten that

are worth it and the rest, it’s just an hour with my moron friend. Just come over to the house and then you can tape what we talk about. But I do not want to go to your weird garage in god knows where with my GPS that’s going to have to find your apartment. No. It’s just too crazy. [Some of them] get like 2,000 listeners. What does that mean, really? How does that translate into somebody coming to a show? I guess, maybe it does. It seems like a distraction.

If you’ve got to focus on your podcast, just go write some jokes.

NUVO: The way you describe Last Comic Standing sounds kind of hellish: You told St. Louis Magazine, “In theory, the crew was supposed to bring us everything we needed, namely food, but we even had to beg for that. I’m a woman in a houseful of guys; there were mornings I’d wake up, and the guys would have already eaten everything. I’d go hungry.”

What the hell? That sounds horrible.

MADIGAN: It was like a minimum security prison. It really was. And after getting out, I looked at other reality shows and thought, “Well, look at them drinking wine!” They got alcohol. Me and John Heffron, he’s from Michigan; we were like Midwest beer people. We finally [asked production], “Can we have some beer?”

And one of the people snuck in a six-pack.

Then I had one beer, John had two, we woke up and the three extras were gone.

They even took the three extras away!

I did realize, after being out of touch with the world for a month, how much time I waste reading the news. After I got out, I asked my dad what went on while I was gone. He said, “Let me think. There was an Al-Qaeda bombing in Spain on a train...” and that was really all that happened. So all the time I spend reading news that really isn’t news, it was just “gargle.” It’s a much quieter life with no phones and no TVs. NUVO: But if there’s no beer, it’s not worth it.

MADIGAN: No, no beer. They were very strict. The whole thing was just not what I thought it was going to be. And I knew most of those comedians that we were going in with into the house, and I thought it was going to be fun. I really did.

NUVO: Speaking of the noise of news and the noise of Twitter: you’ve said you like Twitter’s format because it’s quick, to the point and snappy. How do you think that Twitter has changed comedy? Is it a good warm up tool; a way for people to be discovered; a way for people to burn their jokes?

MADIGAN: I think it’s nothing but a source of amusement. It’s the same thing with Facebook. Everybody got overexcited a long time ago because Dane Cook built up all of his MySpace friends and then it worked. His marketing tools worked and he got very well known off that. But that was an anomaly. It’s like the podcast thing; Marc Maron rebuilt his career in

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Kathleen Madigan

an awesome way through his awesome podcast. But again, anomaly.

I love Twitter. I really do love Twitter and I love to play on Twitter. But it’s mainly because I’m sitting in an airport and I’m bored and it makes me laugh. I have 30,000 some followers on Twitter, but nobody’s coming to a show, buying a $35 ticket because they think I’m funny on Twitter. It’s not happening.

For the younger comedians, I think it’s for fun, but don’t expect anything. Don’t expect it to translate to reality. There’s nothing tangible about Facebook friends or Twitter followers. It’s part of your job to stay heard, but none of it’s real, to me. It’s just – those 35,000 people, if I have the flu, are they coming over?

They’re not really friends.

NUVO: Your website pulls a quote from Jay Leno, who said, “Kathleen Madigan is one of America’s funniest female comics.” What’s with the extra adjective, Jay? Just drop the “female.”

People don’t say “funniest man comic.”

MADIGAN: [Jay’s comment] is old school. I don’t even hear it anymore, because it’s been said so many times.

The problem is, it’s ingrained. Even in the Academy Awards, even in acting. Best Female Actress, Best Male Actor. They do it on the Grammys. They do it in comedy. I don’t really know that [attitudes towards women] have changed, except I’m glad to see that networks are giving female comics sitcoms. Before, they were stuck on guy comics being the lead, which is fine, but we also have some women.

KATHLEEN MADIGAN Saturday, Feb. 16, 8 p.m.

Egyptian Room at Old National Centre Tickets $32 (plus “applicable” fees)

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // a&e feature

19

A&E FEATURE

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Like bats echolocating JACK Quartet plays in the dark

BY SCOTT SHOGER SSHOGER@NUVO.NET The illuminated exit sign has saved many a life. It’s also a real hassle, a kind of curb on any performance, a reminder of the outside world that tends to inhibit total absorption into any artistic experience.

But it can be done; you can shut off the exit sign — and with good reason if it’s written in the score, as is the case with Georg Friedrich Haas’s Quartet No. 3, which calls for musicians to play in a pitch-black space, as far apart from each other as possible.

Haas’s quartet has become a repertoire staple for JACK Quartet, a string quartet devoted to playing music written after 1950.

They’ve played it for a largely elderly audience in Florida; one listener, who has mobility issues and cannot walk without assistance, reported that she felt like she was flying while listening to the piece. They’ve done it in Los Angeles, where a critic said the piece sounded like bats echolocating.

Big Car Service Center is the next stop for the Haas quartet. JACK will play the space as part of a two-day run in Indy; next Wednesday is the Big Car show, and then next Thursday they’ll offer a more traditional concert experience, playing contemporary classical staples by Ligeti, Lutoslawski and Xenakis at The Toby.

Cellist Kevin McFarland says he’s often asked if the quartet has to memorize the music to the Haas quartet. “Yes and no,” he

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says. He explains that the score has different sections, each of which is defined by specific instructions which are “more like rigorous rules or structures for improvisation” than fully-notated passages.

The piece functions by means of invitations. One musician plays a musical fragment based on some kind of instruction (maybe she’ll be asked to play a certain interval at a soft dynamic). Then the other players can do one of two things: ignore the invitation and remain mute, or respond in some fashion, mimicking the phrase or playing some other kind of complementary line. “Once that happens” — that is, once someone takes the bait, according to McFarland — “the whole quartet gets sucked into that section.”

There are roughly 20 sections, and it takes the group around an hour to get through the piece. “[Haas] prescribes that you accept one to three out of every eight invitations, so most of the time, these invitations kind of hang there,” McFarland says. There’s a logic behind the structure: “The purpose is to familiarize the listener with different types of material, so that the listener can then follow the development of that material.”

And, of course, it all develops in the dark. “We’ll sit there during the dress rehearsal pointing out any pinpoints of light,” McFarland says. “And then the music can do its work. One’s listening can become more acute. We depend so much on our visual sense to understand how sounds are being produced and what we’re hearing. There’s a nice confusion of that. The audience will hear a lot of sounds that are unfamiliar, not those that they’d expect from a string quartet.

There’s also a sense that the sound seems to travel around the space, with a lot of material being passed back and forth.”

The performance is preceded by a trial run where the lights are turned off for one to two minutes. After that point, those who feel they may find the performance unpleasant

a&e reviews // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // NUVO // 100% RECYCLED PAPER

or nerve-wracking can take leave.

The piece’s performance difficulty comes in the form of “hardcore ear training” for the players, according to McFarland, who note that Haas is interested in exploring harmonic series, or in all the frequencies (undertones, overtones, microtones) inherent in what we usually think of as single, unitary, well-tempered tone (e.g. middle C on the piano keyboard).

The JACK Quartet is committed to performing work by living composers like Haas. “If you try to make a decision about Beethoven, there are resources to figure out what the answer is in terms of interpretation,” McFarland says. “But with living composers, you can ask the composer, they can tell you directly; it’s the most invaluable resource for learning music that you can imagine. And I think it’s important to support the work of composers that are still living so that they can be able to survive and do it for a living.”

But as it happens their Thursday concert at The Toby is comprised of work by composers who have all passed from this mortal coil. Still, the concert fulfills another of JACK Quartet’s goals — to, quite simply, play new music. “A lot of this music gets neglected,” McFarland says. “There’s this idea of standard repertoire that persists at most conservatories, and what is thought of as standard repertoire is Bach up through, say, Debussy, Bartok, Shostakovich, those late 19th- and early 20th-century guys who can be still seen on the edge of a tonal framework. So we feel that it’s important to play this music from a historical standpoint.”

The program will open with music of the Italian Renaissance, both to serve as a tonal apertif to the harshness of the following three pieces and because, according to McFarland, the quartet likes to illustrate “how music from before the Baroque period continues to be influential on modern composers.”

From there, they’ll head to Lutoslawski’s 1964 String Quartet, in which all the notes are

written out but their timing is flexible, such that the quartet may occasionally settle into a canon (with each player is playing a line a few seconds behind or in front of the other player), before completely departing in opposite directions and by the beat of unrelated drummers.

Next up is Ligeti’s String Quartet No. 2, a major piece by a composer “so influential in so many ways,” says McFarland, such that “you can hear shadows of Legeti haunting” many a contemporary piece.

His music, which was featured in the star child sequence of 2001: A Space Odyssey, is characterized by “extreme timbral variety” and “extreme rhythmic dissonance”; musicians often sound completely uncoordinated with each other, even when they’re playing parts that are completely written-out and precise.

The concert closes with Iannis Xenakis’s Tetras, “one of the reasons we became a quartet,” according to McFarland, who describes the piece as “dynamic, brash and virtuosic,” pushing the quartet to its absolute limits.

JACK QUARTET Wednesday, Feb. 20, 7:30 p.m. (no late admittance), $20 @ Big Car Service Center

Georg Friedrich Haas, Quartet No. 3, “In iij. Noct. (performed in total darkness, approx. 50 minutes) Thursday, Feb. 21, 7:30 p.m., $30

@ The Toby, Indianapolis Museum of Art

Selections from the Italian Renaissance by Gesualdo and Machaut Gyorgy Ligeti, String Quartet No. 2 Witold Lutoslawski, String Quartet Iannis Xenakis, Tetras

More information at ensemblemusic.org or jackquartet.com

A&E REVIEWS what you missed

PHOTOS BY STACY KAGIWADA

INDY FILM FEST GETS 10K AT BIG CAR’S 5X5 That’s Indy Film Fest President Craig Mince holding a $10,000 oversize check Friday night at Big Car Service Center, where he and the Fest won a grant at the first 5X5 idea-pitching competition, which challenges five speakers to make a case for their community-building idea in five minutes and using five slides. Mince and the Fest won for Roving Cinema, their series of “pop-up” screenings at venues somehow suited to the film itself, e.g. The Neverending Story at Indy Reads Books

(coming up Feb. 28, tickets available at indyfilmfest.org) and Fight Club in the City Market catacombs (May 16). The five nominees were charged to come up with an idea that somehow melded technology with art. Three of four 5X5 events are left to go; the next will be hosted by People for Urban Progress at Indianapolis Fabrications on April 12. Open call submissions are due to peopleup.org by March 15. Photos by Stacy Kagiwada; also pictured is the dry-erase board where the audience left their feedback for each presentation. Big Car’s Jim Walker and Anne Laker are seen presenting the check to Mince.

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // go&do

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MOVIES

Amour e

Your Home For College Basketball!

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Amour won the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival last May. On February 24, it will win the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. The French-language production, directed by Michael Haneke, is also nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress (Emmanuelle Riva) and Best Original Screenplay. It is a strong contender in each of those categories as well.

The film is a stark look at devotion, love over the long term, and the end of life.

Haneke slows down the pace of his movie to match the speed of his characters. The film is deliberate, with an unmoving camera catching many of the scenes. For the most part, the technique forces viewers to focus and fill in the visual blanks as people move in and out of the fixed camera’s point of view. There were a few moments where I grew impatient with the speed – “Get on with it,” I wanted to shout – but that merely reinforced the need for patience required when dealing with a

28 S. Pennsylvania . coachestavern.com 22

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— ED JOHNSON-OTT

FILM CLIPS SIDE EFFECTS t

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mirrored view of the relationship between a caregiver and an individual in need.

Throughout your life you will serve as both a caregiver and an individual in need. As you near the end of your time here, you most likely will require a lot of assistance from others as the indignities of age increase.

Amour opens by showing the end of the story and then moves back in time to reveal how the events came to be. Georges and Anne, impeccably played by veteran actors Jean-Louis Trintignant and the aforementioned Riva, are a refined elderly Parisian couple. One morning at breakfast, Anne freezes for a brief period, rattling her husband of many years. Afterwards she does not remember the incident.

Matters get worse from that point. Anne suffers a stroke, and later another one.

Georges cares for her, determined to keep her at home and respect her wish to not return to a hospital. People come and go, serving mostly as well-intentioned annoyances. A nurse gets hired to help at home. A second one is hired as Anne’s needs increase.

Life goes on, with Anne growing worse and Georges being pushed to his physical and mental limits as he tends to his love.

TOP HAT

The kind of medication Emily (Rooney Mara) takes for her depression sometimes causes people to zone out and do weird things in their sleep. When Emily stabs her husband (Channing Tatum, barely in the movie) to death in the wee hours, she gets charged with murder and her shrink (Jude Law) gets dragged into a nightmare. Steven Soderbergh’s film starts off as an ethical drama and turns into a thriller. The screenplay suffers from some gaping plot holes that I would love to detail here, but can’t without spilling the beans. So I’ll just say the film is entertaining fare, but structurally unsound. —Ed Johnson-Ott Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers at their best. See the 35mm print of the film and listen to guest speaker Cathy Whitock, author of Designs on Film: A Century of Hollywood Art Direction and the blog Cinema Style. Feb. 15, 7 p.m. @ The Toby, Indianapolis Museum of Art; $9 public, $5 IMA member

FOOD Wine and truffles An aphrodisiac pairing

BY HOWARD HEWITT EDITORS@NUVO.NET Only the chump will settle for a heartshaped box full of factory-made chocolate for this Valentine’s Day. It’s just too easy to find artisan-made chocolate in this town.

“I think over the past 15 years there has been an evolution of foods, in general, and specialty foods,” said Elizabeth Garber, chocolatier and owner of Best Chocolate in Town.

“It has happened to cheese, with craft beer and even wine. Chocolate has done that too.

“Chocolate has been around for ever and ever, but then you started getting people specializing in the craft of chocolate and the higher quality and the artistic side of chocolate. People started creating it more visually and it became more about the palate. Now it’s what flavor profile is in the chocolate and what works well with chocolate.”

Wine and chocolate have long been a natural pairing, but it’s not as simple as grabbing a bottle of wine and a chocolate bar.

“There are levels and strengths in terms of sweetness,” Garber said. “A white chocolate is going to be sweeter because it has a lot

more sugar in it. There are some grades of milk chocolate that sweetness depends on the amount of sugar, milk and cacao in the chocolate. Then you get in to darks which are going to get more bittersweet, though you can have really sweet dark chocolate too.”

The higher the percentage of cacao you have on a bar means more cacao and less sugar. Garber explains the 80 percent you see on a chocolate bar means “80 percent cacao and 20 percent sugar, cacao butter and other stuff.”

And simply enough the more bold the chocolate, the bigger red wine you’re going to want to pair with the sweet treat.

Chocolate ranging from 60-75 percent cacao pairs great with big red wines. Any bold red wine will do, but experimenting will help you find your favorites.

But chocolate today is more than a plain chocolate bar. “We do a cinnamon basil and it might go well with one thing versus another,” Garber said. “A milk chocolate could be paired with a Chardonnay or whites. Sometime that sweet white wine with a honey/lavender truffle is a great pairing. A sweet floral chocolate might pair better with white than just a red. So many people just think red wine with chocolate but you can mix it up.”

Garber has been a chocolatier since 1995 with businesses first in Franklin and Edinburgh before opening her Mass Ave store.

She mixes spices, fruit, and even beer in her truffles to challenge her customer’s pal-

No w t h e la rg est b u f f e t se l e c t i o n i n t o w n n!!

PHOTO BY HOWARD HEWITT

ate. “There has been this slow evolution going on,” she said. “It’s sort of like jams and jelly; it used to be just grape and strawberry. Now you have pepper jellies and all sorts of combinations. So now chocolate has evolved and continues to expand in new directions.”

Read Howard Hewitt’s wine column at redforme.blogspot.com. Write him with questions or comments at hewitthoward@gmail.com.

BEER BUZZ

BY RITA KOHN

January’s Winterfest highlighted the BIG beers of Winter — as in Brewers of Indiana Guild, of course — that will keep us cozy, whether sipped on their own or in partnership with robust soups, hearty stews, grainy breads and melt-in-mouth chocolate desserts. We tasted Belgians, double and tripel IPAs, barrel-aged stouts, porters and ambers.

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PHOTO BY MARK LEE

These truffles, offered by Best Chocolate in Town’s Elizabeth Garber, will keep you out of trouble.

Yet the best treat was the delicately balanced session-able New Albion Ale, a recreation of a 1976 recipe created by Jim Koch, the brewer and founder of Samuel Adams, and Jack McAuliffe, the ‘retired’ brewer-founder of New Albion, considered the first U.S. micro-brewery of the modern era. The two managed to create an English ale so transparently clear you could hold it up to a big screen TV and still catch the on-court action. The clean, inviting citrus hop aroma amazingly lingers, as does the head, which etches the glass with lace as we drink.

The first sip filled the mouth with the feel of creamy malt, which gives way to a subtle piney character, only to be succeeded by the full-bodied Cascade. As the ale warmed, yeast esters mingled

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for a feel of soft spices in layers giving way to a swirl of flavors. Six-packs are available in package shops, and with good luck, New Albion Ale might become a vintage brand brewed on a regular basis.

Meanwhile back at the other tables, the biggest surprise was the Great Fermentations co-op’s Temple of Rye Imperial Porter aged in a Templeton Rye Barrel. Homebrewer Glen Norris described his seductively smooth tease as a “melange of chocolate, oak, vanilla and whiskey on carbonation.”

One sip packed a punch. A small sample warmed the whole body, but not quite enough to propel us outside in the frigid cold to taste the array of Strong Ale ReplicAles. We’ll wait to do that in the warmth of City Market at Tomlinson Tap Room.

And finally getting caught up with Bloomington Brewing Company’s latest batch, it was thumbs up for Ole’ Floyd Belgian Dark Strong Ale, which deliciously offered up warm honey Belgian esters and golden raisin sweetness. Also on offer was Krampus, a towering black IPA just this side of brandy with hints of roasted dark toffee and passion fruit.

If you have an item for Beer Buzz, send an email to beerbuzz@nuvo.net. Deadline for Beer Buzz is Thursday noon before the Wednesday of publication.

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music From Phish to Phervent Love A NUVO photographer’s love story Editor’s Note: As a nightlife and music editor, I send a lot of people out to clubs, bars and venues to report on events in Indy. And I mean a lot – over 100 events per year.

But it’s not every weekend that an assignment turns into a romance. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I asked photographer Angela Leisure to recount how she met her beau covering a show for NUVO.

1

I spent last summer at NUVO as a photography intern, shooting bands, rallies and portraits. Music Editor Kat Coplen sent me to Klipsch Music Center to shoot Phish, shown at right, on their first night in town. Unbeknownst to me, a guy named Pat Fritsch had previously won the Phish lottery to get tickets for that same night. I was nervous, because it was my first big band to shoot, and so I kept checking and re-checking my camera settings until I heard, “Heeeeeyyy, what are you doing?” This began one of those awkward conversations you have with people when you first meet them. I learned Pat was from Wisconsin. Our conversation kept my mind off of my nervousness while I stood there waiting for the band to come out. For the next 15 minutes I took photos of Phish, then high-fived Pat and his friends on my way out the press pit. That night I told a friend “I’ll never see that guy again.”

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Phish at Klipsch Music Center

2

Thankfully, I was wrong. I received an email from Kat about a dude who commented on the Phish photos that ran on NUVO’s website. ( “Let me just say I wish you could have hopped over the rail after your ‘15 minutes’ was up.

I thought you were lovely and very kind to laugh at whatever nonsense I was giving you. I would absolutely love to get the chance to talk again. Never got a chance to say goodbye, which was definitely a bummer. If you read this and want to reconnect...” ) This lead to emails, then texting and later phone calls. One of the first text pics I got from him was a chalk drawing that led to a long series of sunsets and skies that we sent to each other.

4

We hit it off immediately and have been building a relationship ever since; he still lived in Wisconsin, so our only option was to start long distance. Before we started Skyping, we would have three hour phone calls every night. One of the first gifts I ever sent him was a 317 t-shirt.

7

Pat went back to Wisconsin, but we knew it would not be long before he was packing up and moving to Indianapolis. I decided it was my turn to make the six hour drive to Milwaukee.

Thanksgiving seemed as good a time as any, so I packed up my car and drove up for the longest visit we’d had yet: four whole days! I had never been there, so Pat showed me around a little bit, and Comet Café was one of my favorite places ever.

It seemed saying 8 goodbye was only getting

5

The beginning of October was Pat’s first trip to Indy since the Phish concert. We only had the weekend to spend together, so I was overwhelmed with things to show him! He had to meet my sister and her boyfriend, so we had dinner with them. We went to Fountain Square and Pat got his first taste of Sun King Wee Mac at Red Lion Grog House.

3

6 After two months, we decided to meet again in Chicago. It was the beginning of September and I was hanging some photos for a show at a restaurant up there. It seemed like a great g middle middle ground. ground.

When he came back at the end of October, we spent more time at my house carving pumpkins and making pizzas. We also made time to check out the Irvington Halloween Festival.

harder to do. When I left, we had not even made plans for Christmas, so I didn’t know when I would see him again. Well, it was Christmas, and this time he was able to stay for 11 days. He was also here for New Year’s Eve! We made dinner at home with my youngest son, watched Phish live from New York, and just got to be together.

I’m currently counting down the days until he is here for good –– on March 2! Only 17 days until I don’t have to tell my best friend “goodbye” again.

–– ANGELA LEISURE

onnuvo.net

REVIEWS/FEATURES

Ken Stringfellow’s solo stop; Frontier Ruckus’ Matthew Milia maps his hometown, Dark Star Orchestra at Buskirk

PHOTOS

Lily and Madeleine at DO317, XRA and Flannelgraph Label Showcase at LUNA, Erin McKeown and Jenn Grant at Irving Theater

100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // music

27

A CULTURAL MANIFESTO WITH KYLE LONG Kyle Long’s music, which features off-the-radar rhythms from around the world, has brought an international flavor to the local dance music scene.

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Ahmed Gallab

Sinkane at the Bishop The world of indie rock can be a very homogeneous place. So when a band like Ahmed Gallab’s Sinkane comes along, it tends to stand out.

Taking the name from a misheard lyric in a Kanye West song, Sinkane has cultivated a remarkably unique sound — patching together elements of ’60s psychedelia, vintage soul, krautrock experimentation and electro, with rhythms and melodies inspired by Gallab’s Sudanese heritage.

Until recently the multi-instrumentalist and singer Gallab was best known as a hired hand for a variety of high profile indie acts, touring with Of Montreal, Yeasayer and Caribou among others.

But that has changed with the release of his DFA Records-issued LP Mars; critics and fans are taking notice of the finely constructed grooves that are embedded with overtly Sudanese textures.

Album reviews and interviews with Sinkane are often dominated by inquiries into the role Gallab’s African DNA plays in his musical craft. I have to admit, I couldn’t resist asking the singer myself when we had the opportunity to speak.

“That question is interesting to me,” Gallab said, warily. “It’s really just asking ‘How has being yourself influenced the things you do?’

The African melodies and drum patterns you hear are second nature vibes that come out of me. It’s not like I’m trying — I’m just doing.”

Gallab was only 5 years old when his family emigrated from the North African nation of Sudan to the United States, driven away by a coup that threatened the safety and livelihood of his politician father.

I asked Gallab if he was comfortable embracing his Sudanese culture while coming of age in the United States.“Not really. I spent a lot of time following other people,” he said. “I was incredibly insecure and embarrassed about who I was.

It had a lot to do with the fact that I didn’t have anyone around who was like me. I still feel a bit different, but I’m OK with it now. I like it.”

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Indeed he does. Gallab has clearly immersed himself in the musical culture of his homeland. When I asked the singer if he cared to mention any influential Sudanese artists, he quickly reeled off the following list. “Jiddu Taj El-Sir Ali Sheikh, Nancy Ajaj, Ayman Alrubo, Mohammad Al-Amin, Sher Habeel, Mohommad Wardi, El-Bilabil, Abdelkarim El-Kabli, Mustafa Al-Sunni — there are so many others. I love it all.”

There’s also the influence of his family, Gallab’s mother and grandfather were musicians. “My grandfather taught me how to be passionate about what I do. When he sang you couldn’t do anything other than listen. He was also incredibly ambitious and, because of that, he achieved a lot.” Gallab says, adding “my mother is the most important woman in my life.

She is always playing music at home.”

Did growing up in this culturally rich environment cement his destiny in the music world? Gallab says yes. “I always knew I was a musician. I don’t know how I knew, but it was always something I thought about. When I was 11 years old, I played my first show.”

It’s slightly misleading to overemphasize the African elements on Mars. Overall the album sounds right at home alongside the dance-floor friendly indie grooves for which the DFA label has become famous.

I asked Gallab if he tailored the album to fit the label’s aesthetic? “No, I didn’t. DFA approached me to release Mars about two years after the record was recorded, mixed and mastered,” Gallab said.

He seems a bit mystified by all the probing inquiries into his creative process, insisting again that his sound is not the product of a calculated method. “I’m pretty heady at times and I overanalyze everything. But when I am making music I stop thinking and just feel.”

SINKANE, KEEPING CARS The Bishop, 123 S. Walnut St. Monday, Feb. 18 8 p.m., $8, 18+

LISTEN UP Kyle Long creates a custom podcast for each column. Hear this week’s at NUVO.net.

MUSIC Beastie Boys + burlesque Rock cabaret event supports cancer relief

BY E D W E N C K M U S I C@N U V O . N E T When Pepper Mills –– that’s her burlesque name –– was a kid, her dad imparted to her a love of the seminal punk-turned-hip-hop outfit called The Beastie Boys. The music of Mike D, MCA and Ad-Rock came straight outta Brooklyn and wound up on the speakers in Pepper’s living room. “My fondest memory as kid growing up –– and I would have to say it would be his if he were still alive –– would be us dancing to ‘Fight For Your Right’ –– it was a great father/daughter moment.”

As Pepper reached adulthood she found her way into the art of neo-burlesque, joining the all-shapes-and-sizes troupe Angel Burlesque here in Indy and traveling around the continent displaying her trademark Betty-Boop lashes and Lucille Ball meets Mae West brand of physical comedy.

Unfortunately, while Pepper was getting deeper into the glitter, the man who gave her a love of the Beasties became very, very ill.

“I lost my father two summers ago to cancer –– and this past May when MCA (Adam Yauch) passed away, it really hit home because he was fighting cancer too.”

Pepper wanted to do something –– anything –– to help those who were going toe-to-toe with the Big C. “I’d been thinking about it since last May, and I’m like, okay –– this is still bothering me –– what can I do about it? What can I give back?”

The answer was obvious: Pepper wantanted to put together a benefit show thatt combined the Beasties and burlesque –– stripping to the rhymes of her dad’ss three favorite guys. The next step wass getting approval from the American Cancer Society –– something Ms. Mills was a little concerned about.

“Sometimes…” her voice lifts a little “… sometimes people aren’t okay with a burlesque performer giving them money.”

Luckily, Pepper found an ally in Carrie Cihasky, a community rep for the Americann Cancer Society’s Great Lakes Division.

“I was really excited about this –– I’m m always looking to do something creativee and outside the box with fundraising,” says Cihasky. “This allows us to reach aa whole new audience when we’re trying to to spread the message of what we do.”

Cihasky figures this is a way to reachh a crowd younger than those who might ht attend the classic catered chicken in ballroom/silent auction events. And she’s not scared off by the pasties.

“I’ve gone to shows before –– I know what hatto to expect, and I know it can be done tastefully.” y.”

Cihasky was also touched by the comm mon thread: “The Beasties lost one of their

members to cancer –– and Pepper losing her dad –– it just points out how many people cancer does touch.” While the event, given the nature of burlesque, will focus on the ACS’s ‘Making Strides Against Breast Cancer’ campaign, Cihasky assures the event will offer a window in to the group’s work with other types of cancer as well.

Pepper has found in the ACS a group trying to use their funds ever more efficiently.

Carrie Cihasky: “Right now about 74 cents of every dollar goes back to programs and services –– that’s the highest of any cancer non-profit there is out there.” (80 cents a buck is their target, though –– they’re trying to streamline the operation to honor their hundredth anniversary.) “It’s broken into research –– we’re currently funding 230 breast cancer research projects totaling 120 million dollars.”

The money also goes to places like Hope Lodge, which Cihasky likens to ‘a Ronald MacDonald House for adults,’ a place for families to stay when a loved one is facing treatment. Services ranging from fitting chemo patients with wigs to giving some folks rides to their medical appointments are also provided by the ACS. Mills’ event will include burlesque performers from Angel Burlesque, Rocket Doll Revue and Bottoms Up Burlesque (along with some independent burlesquers) all dancing to Beastie Boys cuts of their choosing –– the music will run the gamut from the early days to the band’s most recent stuff. You can expect the clothes being taken off to be pretty eclectic: “We’ve got somebody dressed in full fishnet to one who’s probably gonna look like a grandma,” says Mills. There’s a silent auction, too –– and someone’s even donated a vinyl pressing of the original Licensed to Ill release.

“It’s overwhelming to me the support that I’ve received from the burlesque community,” says Mills. “And we’ve got DJ Jay Diff and Hinx Jones volunteering their services too.

Everyone’s been so willing to help the cause –– it chokes me up to even think about it.”

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Frenchy, Pepper Mills (top)

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AN EVENING OF BEASTIE BOYS BURLESQUE

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29

MUSIC

MAIN EVENT

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Friday Night Blues

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Menomena

with The Blues Ambassadors at 9pm - 1am

Menomena brings love to The Bishop Band promises Fleetwood Mac

BY JO RD A N M A R TIC H M U S I C@N U V O . N E T With the departure of Brent Knopf, onethird of the songwriting for Portland progressive rock band Menomena was missing. The remaining members, Danny Seim and Justin Harris, were scared to begin anew. But Seim found that writing about his mother, who died 17 years ago, when he was 17, was invigorating and cathartic. Harris, who’d relied on his mother because his father hadn’t been around, took a contrasting approach. The sum is Moms, a dynamic shift that produced another meaningful record.

Menomena plays The Bishop on Valentine’s Day. We phoned Seim as he prepared to leave on tour.

NUVO: Was songwriting easier or tougher on this new album?

DANNY SEIM: It was easier in the sense that it went faster, it seemed like. It was a lot quicker to write after discussing these themes and stuff in advance. It was definitely faster than we’ve ever been able to work in the past.

Once we went to work on the record we just played really well and it went along really well. I guess emotionally it might be tougher.

It was definitely more personal lyrically than the stuff we’ve done in the past.

When we released this we were thinking, “Should we release this like this? Or should we be a little more ... I don’t know ... cloaked in mystery?” But now I realized that we should try and just be honest with ourselves.

Once we got over that little psychological hurdle it all came together pretty quickly.

NUVO: How do you balance inserting personal lyrics and connections in a song with creating relevant music?

SEIM: That’s a good question. I don’t know about making music relevant to the times. We just try pretty hard not to repeat ourselves. I guess we’re at that point where the band is getting older and the people involved are getting a little older – and we just shut out the relevant music a lot.

There’s a point where a lot of bands and artists take a turn for the kind of predictable route.

I want to write music that’s not really aware of whatever else is going on. I’d like to think that we won’t get too far down that road, but we do try hard not to repeat ourselves. I hope it’s still relevant. As far as balancing the lyrics, I don’t know. Maybe it’s a way to do something that we haven’t done before and make things more conceptual with this Moms record. Put a little more emphasis on the words and the meaning behind them, rather than writing based off of melodies and symbols, like we’ve done in the past without too much concern for the overall theme.

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NUVO: You’re in town on Valentine’s Day. If you were going to play some romantic songs, what would they be?

SEIM: I wish I would have done research. Okay, two love jams that we’re going to cover, huh?

Well I just was told about this Fleetwood Mac re-release of Rumors and it’s one of my favorite albums of all-time. So I’ve been reading a lot about the recording of that. So how about two Fleetwood Mac songs? How about ‘Dreams?” If we could play or sing or do what they did, I probably should do “Dreams,” then. I guess “Second Hand News” is about laying down in the tall grass and letting me do my stuff. That’s kind of molest-y, actually.

We’ll just pick any two random Fleetwood Mac songs and I’m sure they’re probably about love. I’ll just make sure to do as much cocaine as possible to replicate the era in which they were played.

MENOMENA, GUARDS

The Bishop, 123 S. Walnut St. Thursday, February 14 9 p.m., $12 advance, $14 at door, 18+

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SOUNDCHECK

SUBMITTED PHOTO

Electric Six

Wednesday PIPES AND DRUMS THE PIPES AND DRUMS OF THE BLACK WATCH AND BAND OF THE SCOTS GUARDS Center for the Performing Arts, 355 City Center Dr., Carmel 7:30 p.m., prices vary, all-ages

These are the oldest performing arts groups you’ll see –– ever. Seriously. The Black Watch was founded in 1667 as part of the Highland Watch. They’re still fully operational, but we doubt these guys see much action. They’re too busy perfecting their arrangements of classic Scottish tunes. Expect full regalia: sporrans, spats, sashes and broadswords. They’ll perform with the Band of the Scots Guards, whose existence dates back to the 1640s.

OTHER WEDNESDAY PICKS Electrify Your Strings at Zionsville Performing Arts Center, all-ages Trivi-oke at the Stacked Pickle, 21+ Burlesque Bingo Bango Lovers’ Edition Show at the White Rabbit Cabaret, 21+ The Rumspringa Babies, Janet Perez at the Melody Inn, 21+

Thursday HOLIDAZE VALENTINE’S DAY Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave. 7 p.m., 8:30 p.m., $75, 21+

Cynthia Layne and Everett Greene in The B Side, the special events room in the Jazz Kitchen. In the main room: Bill Lancton Quartet featuring Julie Houston. In both rooms? A spot for dancing and lots of lovey-dovey tunes and a four course prix fixe menu. Reservations are available online. Stay late and join in the Latin Dance Party at 10:30.

HOLIDAZE ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY Melody Inn, 3826 N. Illinois St. 9 p.m., $5, 21+

Throw away the roses. This ain’t a loveydovey party. The Fierce Femmes performing at the Melody Inn say: “For all the fuckers out there who say ‘St. Valentine’s Day is a holiday made for girls,’ we offer an ALTERNATE HOLIDAY EXPERIENCE MADE

BY GIRLS.” See DJs Deanne, Chachi Guerrero, Fate, CopperTop and Krazy Karoline; burlesque by Harley Dren. They’ve promised a Cranky Cupid. We’ll be there.

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ROCK MENOMENA, GUARDS The Bishop Bar, 123 S. Walnut St. 9:30 p.m., $12 advance, $14 at door, 18+

With the departure of Brent Knopf, onethird of the songwriting for Portland progressive rock band Menomena was missing.

The remaining Danny Seim and Justin Harris were scared to begin anew, but Seim found that writing about his mother, who died 17 years ago, when he was 17, was invigorating and cathartic. Harris, who’d relied on his mother because his father hadn’t been around, took a contrasting approach. The sum is Moms, a dynamic shift that produced another meaningful record. Menomena plays The Bishop on Valentine’s Day. –– JORDAN MARTICH

Read our interview with Menomena on page 31.

OTHER THURSDAY PICKS The Bodeans at the Vogue, 21+ Love Is All You Need with Living Proof at the Rathskeller, 21+ For the Lover in You at Daddy Real’s The Place, all-ages KEM, Toy Factoy at Old National Centre, all-ages

Friday ROCK RED WANTING BLUE The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave. 8 p.m., $10 advance, $12 door, 21+

Straight up ‘90s Ohio rock ‘n’ roll. Red Wanting Blue is touring From the Vanishing Point, another entry into the rock group’s everyman aesthetic: a little bit Eddie Vedder, a smidge Adam Duritz. They’ll play with A Lion Named Roar and Poor Young Things.

ELECTRIC SIX, ANDY D Radio Radio, 1119 Prospect St. 8 p.m., Sold Out, 21+

Detroit dance-punk six-piece Electric Six play Radio Radio and they’ll have their tongue-incheek, hedonistic brand of trash-disco-rock in tow. Best known for their smashing singles ‘“Danger! High Voltage” and “Gay Bar,” the group has been steadily making music for over than ten years now, including their latest release, the live LP Absolute Pleasure. The show will open with a performance by Andy D. –– MANNY CASILLAS

SOUNDCHECK HIP-HOP N STAMPS, SIRIUS BLVCK, GRIZZ, JOHN ZOSO CONWAY 247 Skybar, 247 S. Meridian St. 9 p.m., $5, 21+

Have you checked out Sky Bar yet? It’s three stories up (Indy’s only “sky bar”) right above Taps and Dolls. They’ve got a huge dance floor with plenty of room for fans of the Ghosttown Gang (including member Sirius Blvck’s whose new record Ancient Lights drops the same day.)

OTHER FRIDAY PICKS Valentine’s Bangover with Automagik, Apathy Wizards at the Hoosier Dome, all-ages Corey Christiansen at the Jazz Kitchen, 21+ The Malah, Magnetic at the Mousetrap, 21+ Rusty Redenbacher, Mr. Kinetik, Native Sun at the Artsgarden, all-ages Boo Ya! at Bartini’s, 21+ Electric Music Night with Grime Time Collective at the Emerson, all-ages Unsaid Fate, Pragmatic, Losing September, Full Monte at Beale St., 21+ Big Daddy Caddy, Dave Fields at the Slippery Noodle, 21+ Living Proof at Moon Dog Tavern, 21+ WTFriday at Social, 21+ Black Lions, Emily and the Complexes, Matt Sheen and the New Hat Static at the Melody Inn, 21+ Hillbilly Happy Hour with Punkin Holler Boys, Rutherford at the Melody Inn, 21+

Saturday 3RD ANNUAL INDY WINTER BLUES FESTIVAL Birdy’s 2131 E. 71st St. 8 p.m., $10 advance, $12 at door, 21+

We’re deep into February, and sinking deeper and deeper into the winter blues. Sinking sooo deep. Deeper. Only actual blues can cure this! The third iteration of the Indy Winter Blues Festival features Craig Brenner and the Crawdads, Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel, The Paul Holdman Band and Harvey and the Bluetones.

ROCK THE OLD 97S The Vogue, 6259 N. College Ave. 7 p.m., $18 advance, $20 door, 21+

Another tour for Dallas at-country bros Old 97’s –– they’re more than 10 albums in after all. We’re suckers for any band that regularly integrates their regional pride into their tracks. They’re great live and have never quite gotten the following their solid tracks and energetic live performances deserve. Fun fact: they sometimes perform under the name “Satellite Riders” as a fake Old 97’s tribute band when contract obligations keep them from

BARFLY

performing under their regular name. On this tour, the Old 97’s will perform the entirety of Too Far To Care on every stop, in celebration of the 15th anniversary of the album. Lead singer of the group, Rhett Miller, will take on a special opening spot. Take note: this concert begins promptly at 7:00 p.m. and will conclude by 9:30 p.m.

EDM PRIME Dunaway’s, 351 S. East St. 10 p.m., $10, 21+

Indy collective 317TECHNO throws electronic event Prime every month at Dunaway’s. This month’s features Detroit’s Blank Code, Corbin Davis, Justin Haus and Andrew Hizer.

HIP-HOP DRE DAY Jazz Kitchen, 5377 N. College Ave. 10 p.m., $10, 21+

Attend the local contingent of a nationwide party celebrating the genius that is Dre and the anniversary of hip-hop classic The Chronic. This party will feature gin and juice and a chronic photo booth, along with the musical stylings of DJs Metrognome, Jay Diff and Mr. Kinetik. Before you head out, throw on “Dre Day,” released all the way back in 1993 –– a sure sign we’re all crumbling old people.

OTHER SATURDAY PICKS Whipstich Sallies at Indy Folk Series, all-ages Butler University Faculty Jazz Quintet at the Jazz Kitchen, 21+ Cosby Sweater at the Mousetrap, 21+ Pvrenchymv, Goliathon, SoSayeth, and Heaving Mass at Rock House Cafe, 21+ The Enders, Last One Standing, Arrogant Bastards, Jeannie Bueller’s Revenge at the Melody Inn, 21+ The Late Show at Ale Emporium, 21+ Lloyd Dobler Effect, Captain Ivory at The Rathskeller, 21+ Experience the Beatles with Rain at Old National Centre, all-ages Beastie Boys Burlesque with DJ Jay Diff and Hinx Jones at the White Rabbit Cabaret, 21+ Fly Society at Social, 21+

Tuesday OTHER TUESDAY PICKS WHY?, Astronautalis, Dream Tiger at The Bishop Hannah Georgas, Triptides at DO317 Lounge, all-ages Werk at the Melody Inn, 21+ EVEN MORE See complete calendar listings on NUVO.net and our brand new mobile site.

by Wayne Bertsch

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ball-sized lump on her neck. Two days later, at a hospital in Wichita, a doctor gently pulled a feather out of the lump and hypothesized that it had been in the midst of emerging from her throat. Doctors said the girl probably swallowed the feather accidentally, that it got stuck in throat tissue, and that her body was trying to eject it through the skin.

• As if 9/11 and the resultant air travel restrictions had never happened, travelers for Cliche Come to Life: The Kerry, Ireland, some reason continue to keep Transportation county council voted in January to let some Security Administration agents busy at paspeople drive drunk. The councillors reasoned sengers’ carry-on bag searches. From a TSA that in the county’s isolated regions, some weekly summary of confiscations in January: seniors live alone and need the camaraderie of 33 handguns, eight stun guns and a serrated the pub, but fear a DUI arrest on the way home. wire garrote. Among highlights from 2012: a The councillors thus empowered police to issue live 40mm grenade, a live blasting cap, “seal DUI permits to those targeted drivers. Besides, bombs” and six pounds of black power (with reasoned the councillors, the area is so sparsely detonation cords and a timing fuse). populated that such drivers never encounter • A man with admittedly limited English anyone else on the road at night. (The council- skills went to a courthouse in Springfield, lors’ beneficence might also have been influMass., in December to address a traffic ticket, enced, reported BBC News, by the fact that but somehow wound up on a jury trying “several” of the five voting “yea” own pubs.)

Donald Campbell on two counts of assault.

Officials said the man simply got in the wrong Can’t Possibly Be True line and followed jurors into a room while the • Spare the Waterboard, Spoil the Child: real sixth juror had mistakenly gone to another William Province, 42, was arrested in Jefferson room. The jury, including the accidental juror, County, Mont., in December and charged with found Campbell guilty, but he was awarded a waterboarding four boys, two of whom were new trial when the mistake was discovered. his own sons, at his home in December. (Also in January, Kirill Bartashevitch, 52, was charged The Redneck Chronicles with making “terroristic” threats to his high(Tennessee Edition) school-age daughter after he allegedly pointed • (1) Timothy Crabtree, 45, of Rogersville, was his new AK-47 at her because her report card arrested in October and charged with stabbing showed 2 B’s instead of all A’s. He said he had his son, Brandon, 21, in an argument over who recently purchased the gun because he feared would get the last beer in the house. (2) Tricia that President Obama intended to ban them.)

Moody, 26, was charged with DUI in Knoxville • Emma Whittington, of Hutchinson, Kan., in January after a 10-minute police chase. The rushed her daughter to the ER in December officer’s report noted that Moody was still holdwhen the girl, 7 months old, developed a golfing a cup of beer and apparently had not spilled any during the chase. (3) Jerry Poe, 62, was charged in a road-rage incident in Clinton on Black Friday after firing his handgun at a driver in front of him “to scare her into moving” faster, he said. (Poe said he had started at midnight at one Wal-Mart, waited in line unsuccessfully for five hours for a sale-priced stereo, and was on his way to another Wal-Mart.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

One for the Road Plus, waterboarding your sons

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• Twin brothers Aric Hale and Sean Hale, 28, were both arrested on New Year’s Eve in Manchester, Conn., after fighting each other at a hotel and later at a residence. Police said a 27-year-old woman was openly dating the two men, and that Sean thought it was his turn and asked Aric for privacy. Aric begged to differ about whose turn it was.

To qualify you must be between the ages of 18 and 64, be healthy with no known illnesses. Donors can earn up to $4000 per year for their time/ donation. Your first and second donation is $50.00.

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• Voted in December as vice presidents of the U.N. Human Rights Council for 2013 were the nations of Mauritania and the Maldives, both of which permit the death penalty for renouncing Islam. In Mauritania, a person so charged has three days to repent for a lesser sentence.

(An August 2012 dispatch in London’s The Guardian reported widespread acceptance of slavery conditions in Mauritania, affecting as many as 800,000 of the 3.5 million population.

Said one abolitionist leader, “Today we have the slavery (that) American plantation owners dreamed of (in that the slaves) believe their condition is necessary to get to paradise.”)

• Non-medical employees of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center have been campaigning for union representation, suggesting that their current wages leave many workers dangerously close to poverty. Though raises have not materialized, UPMC (according to

NEWS OF THE WEIRD CONTINUED TO PG 38 100% RECYCLED PAPER // NUVO // 02.13.13-02.20.13 // classifieds

37

classifieds

TO ADVERTISE: Phone: (317) 254-2400 | Fax: (317) 479-2036 E-mail: classifieds@nuvo.net | www.nuvo.net/classifieds Mail: Nuvo Classifieds 3951 N. Meridian St., Suite 200 Indianapolis, Indiana 46208

PAYMENT, & ADVERTISING DEADLINE All ads are prepaid in full by Monday at 5 P.M. Nuvo gladly accepts Cash, Money Order, & All Major Credit Cards.

POLICIES: Advertiser warrants that all goods or services advertised in NUVO are permissible under applicable local, state and federal la ws. Advertisers and hired advertising agencies are liable for all content (including text, representation and illustration) of advertisements and are res ponsible, without limitation, for any and all claims made thereof against NUVO, its officers or employees. Classified ad space is limited and granted on a first come, first served basis. To qualify for an adjustment, any error must be reported within 15 days of publication date. Credit for errors is limited to first insertion.

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HERE WE GROW AGAIN! Want to work for NUVO? NUVO is seeking an experienced Account Executive to join our high-performing sales team. Ideal candidate should thrive in a fast-paced, deadline driven environment while excelling in organization and attention to detail. This outside sales position cold-calls constantly and fearlessly, presents all aspects of NUVO media, focuses on providing solutions to clients, meets weekly and quarterly goals and monitors all aspects of clients’ multi-platform advertising campaigns.

Candidate must offer supreme customer service and thrive on helping locally owned businesses grow.

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Qualified candidates will possess: Minimum one year outside sales experience, strong customer service orientation, excellent written and verbal command of the English language; listening skills, organization of time with laser focus, attention to detail, plus amazing followthrough; ability to multi-task, and enjoy and thrive around creative thinkers and energetic co-workers. Ideal candidate will take pride in their work and possess a sense of humor.

If you think you have what it takes to work for Indy’s Alternative Voice, send resume to Mary Morgan, Director of Sales & Marketing at mmorgan@nuvo.net

NEWS OF THE WEIRD NEWS OF THE WEIRD CONTINUED FROM PG 37 a November Pittsburgh City Paper report) has now shown sympathy for its employees’ sad plight. In a November UPMC newsletter, it announced that it was setting up “UPMC Cares” food banks. Employees (presumably the better-paid ones) are urged to “donate nonperishable food items to stock employee food pantries that will established on both (UPMC campuse).” One astonished worker’s response: “I started to cry.”

• In December, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch revealed, through a public records check, that the appointed Collector of Revenue for St. Louis County has failed since 2008 to pay personal property taxes. Stacy Bailey and her husband owe taxes on three cars and in fact filed for bankruptcy in 2011. Bailey’s boss, Director of Revenue Eugene Leung, told the Dispatch that he had checked Bailey’s realestate tax status but not personal property taxes. Nonetheless, he said, “Knowing what I know now, she’s still the most qualified person for the job,” among the 155 applicants.

Perspective

a woman’s arm is raised horizontally -- seems entirely made-up. However, Marks & Spencer and other upscale British retailers now sell “arm corsets” to fashionably hold the skin tighter for sleeveless tops. Wrote the Guardian columnist, “I wish I didn’t know that my arms weren’t meant to wobble. I’d be happier.”

People Different From Us

• Julie Griffiths, 43, of Newcastle-UnderLyme, England, received her first Anti-Social Behavior Order in 1999 for too loudly berating her husband, Norman (who one neighbor told the Daily Telegraph is “the sweetest man you could ever meet”). After many complaints (from neighbors, never from Norman), Griffiths was fined the equivalent of about $700 in 2010 and vowed to be quieter. The complaints hardly slowed, and in July 2012, environmental-health officials installed monitoring equipment next door and caught Griffiths venting at Norman 47 times in three months. However, the Stokeon-Trent Magistrates Court merely issued a new, five-year ASBO.

©2012 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

• First-World Problems: Before “cellulite” appeared in popular culture around 1972, almost no one believed the condition especially Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or WeirdNews@earthlink.net remarkable, wrote London’s The Guardian in or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.

December. Similarly, the new concern about “wobbly” arms -- flesh dangling loosely when

38

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white people. “White people must be crazy because they think with their heads,” said the chief, “and it is well-known that only crazy people do that.” Jung asked him what the alternative was. Biano said that his people think with their hearts. That’s your assignment for the week ahead, Aries: to think with your heart -- especially when it comes to love. For extra credit, you should feel with your head -- especially when it comes to love.

Happy Valentine Daze, Aries!

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Have you ever sent a torrent of smart and elegant love messages to a person you wanted to get closer to? Now would be an excellent time to try a stunt like that. Have you ever scoured the depths of your own psyche in search of any unconscious attitudes or bad habits that might be obstructing your ability to enjoy the kind of intimacy you long for?

I highly recommend such a project right now. Have you ever embarked on a crusade to make yourself even more interesting and exciting than you already are? Do it now. Raise your irresistibility!

Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Valentine Daze, Gemini! After careful meditation about what messages might purify and supercharge your love life, I decided to offer suggestions about what not to do. To that end, I’ll quote some lines from Kim Addonizio’s poem “Forms of Love.” Please don’t speak any of them out loud, or even get yourself into a position where it makes sense to say them. 1. “I love how emotionally unavailable you are.” 2. “I love you ADOPTION and feel a powerful spiritual connection to you, PREGNANT? ADOPTION CAN even though we’ve never met.” 3. “I love your BE YOUR FRESH START! pain, it’s so competitive.” 4. “I love you as long as Let Amanda, Kate or Abbie meet you for lunch and talk about your you love me back.” 5. “I love you when you’re not options. Their Broad Ripple getting drunk and stupid.” 6. “I love you but I’m agency offers free support, living expenses and a friendly voice 24 married.” 7. “I love it when you tie me up with hrs/day. YOU choose the family ropes using the knots you learned in Boy Scouts, from happy, carefully-screened couples. Pictures, letters, visits & and when you do the stoned Dennis Hopper rap open adoptions available. Listen from Apocalypse Now!” to our birth mothers’ stories at www.adoptionsupportcenter.com 317-255-5916 The Adoption Support Center

CANCER (June 21-July 22): This Valentine season, I suggest you consider trying an experiment like this: Go to the soulful ally you want to be closer to and take off at least some of your masks. Drop your pretenses, too. Shed your emotional armor and do without your psychological crutches. Take a chance on getting as psychologically and spiritually naked as you have ever dared. Are you brave enough to reveal the core truths about yourself that lie beneath the convenient truths and the expired truths and the pretend truths?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Sex is a substitute for God,” says writer Cathryn Michon.

“When we desire another human being sexually, we are really only trying to fill our longing for ecstasy and union with the infinite.” I agree with her, and I think you might, too, after this week. Erotic encounters will have an even better chance than usual of connecting you to the Sublime Cosmic YumYum. If you can’t find a worthy collaborator to help you accomplish this miraculous feat, just fantasize about one. You need and deserve spiritual rapture. Happy Valentine Daze, Leo! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Lately you’ve been doing exemplary work on your relationship with yourself, Virgo. You have half-convinced your inner critic to shut the frack up unless it has a truly important piece of wisdom to impart. Meanwhile, you’ve managed to provide a small but inspired dose of healing for the wounded part of your psyche, and you have gently exposed a self-deception that had been wreaking quiet havoc. Congratulations! I’ve got a hunch that all these fine efforts will render you extra sexy and charismatic in the coming week. But it will probably be a subtle kind of sexiness and charisma that only the most emotionally intelligent people will recognize. So don’t expect to attract the attention

of superficial jerks who happen to have beautiful exteriors. Happy Valentine Daze!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The coming days could be an animalistic time for you, and I mean that in the best sense. I suspect you will generate lots of favorable responses from the universe if you honor the part of you that can best be described as a beautiful beast. Learn fun new truths about your instinctual nature. Explore the mysteries of your primal urges. See what you can decipher about your body’s secret language.

May I also suggest that you be alert for and receptive to the beautiful beast in other people? Happy Valentine Daze, Libra!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): For the French Scorpio poet Paul Valéry, swimming had an erotic quality. He described it as fornication avec l’onde, which can be translated as “fornicating with the waves.” Your assignment this Valentine season, Scorpio, is to identify at least three activities that are like sex but not exactly sex -- and then do them with glee and abandon. The purpose of this exercise is to educate and cultivate your libido; to encourage your kundalini to branch out as it intensifies and expands your lust for life.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This Valentine season, meditate on the relentlessness of your yearning for love.

Recognize the fact that your eternal longing will never leave you in peace. Accept that it will forever delight you, torment you, inspire you, and bewilder you -- whether you are alone or in the throes of a complicated relationship. Understand that your desire for love will just keep coming and coming and coming, keeping you slightly offbalance and pushing you to constantly revise your ideas about who you are. Now read this declaration from the poet Rilke and claim it as your own: “My blood is alive with many voices that tell me I am made of longing.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): According to physicists Yong Mao and Thomas Fink, you can tie a necktie in 85 different kinds of knots, but only 13 of those actually look good.

I encourage you to apply that way of thinking to pretty much everything you do in the coming week.

Total success will elude you if you settle on functional solutions that aren’t aesthetically pleasing.

You should make sure that beauty and usefulness are thoroughly interwoven. This is especially true in matters regarding your love life and close relationships. Togetherness needs a strong dose of lyrical pragmatism. Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “All these years I’ve been searching for an impossible love,” said French writer Marguerite Duras late in her life. The novels and films she created reflect that feeling. Her fictional characters are often engaged in obsessive quests for an ideal romance that would allow them to express their passion perfectly and fulfill their longing completely. In the meantime, their actual relationships in the real world suffer, even as their starry-eyed aspirations remain forever frustrated. I invite you, Aquarius, to celebrate this Valentine season by taking a vow of renunciation. Summon the courage to forswear Duras’s doomed approach to love.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): To avoid getting hacked, computer tech experts advise you to choose strong, hard-to-guess passwords for your online accounts. Among the worst choices to protect your security are “123456,” “iloveyou,” “qwerty,” and, of course, “password.”

Judging by the current astrological omens, Pisces, I’m guessing that you should have a similar approach to your whole life in the coming days.

It’s important that you be picky about who you allow into your heart, mind, and soul. Make sure that only the most trustworthy and sensitive people can gain access. Your metaphorical password might be something like this: m*y#s@t&e?r%y.

Homework: Confess, brag, and expostulate about what inspires you to love. Got to freewillastrology.com and click on “Email Rob.”

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