PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE
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It’s not about adding days to your life, but adding life to your days.
r Ang Yew Seng, the founder of the funeral parlour that bears his name, was a well-known figure in the local casket industry and Buddhist community. When he died of renal failure in 2004, his wake lasted seven days. His second daughter, Ms Angjolie Mei (Arts and Social Sciences ‘02), was 24 at the time and at the wake, she found herself repeatedly explaining the circumstances of her father’s death, an experience she found trying. She did, however, get to meet friends of her father who shared their memories of him. Through them, she got to hear many stories about him, and also understood why he did certain things, like always having ang pows ready in the glove compartment of his car. “It turned out that he’d give them to the old chefs at the restaurants he liked to go to,” she says. She never forgot that experience. Some years later, while on attachment with a funeral services company in New Zealand, she was involved in the memorial service of a 94 year-old woman. What was different about this service was that it was organised by a funeral celebrant, someone trained to organise a funeral so as to make it a celebration of the deceased’s life. During the service, people laughed, cried and clapped, and Ms Angjolie left the service feeling that she knew the woman. “I thought to myself, ‘if only we could do something like this in Singapore.’”
NOT A DEAD-END JOB When they were younger, Ms Angjolie and her siblings focused on their studies and were not involved in the family business. Her father’s
REWRITING THE
Armed with an unconventional approach, Ms Angjolie Mei (Arts and Social Sciences ’02) breathes new life — and
adds some heart — into Singapore’s funeral industry.
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PHOTO BY EALBERT HO
RULES OF ‘GOODBYE’
WHO IS SHE? Ms Angjolie Mei changed her name from Ang Mei Mei because ‘Mei Ang’ in Hokkien sounds like “no husband”. She legally added Jolie to her name because she admires actress Angelina Jolie. Also, ‘jolie’ in French and ‘mei’ in Chinese both mean beautiful. Her father, Mr Ang Yew Seng, was known as the ‘Coffin Samaritan’ because he would often provide free services to those in need. She has already planned her own funeral down to the colour of her nails (red), dress (a lime-green cheongsam) and the contents of her coffin (her Ray-Bans, dancing boots and some of her handheld fans that she collects).
passing, however, changed everything. He had died without any succession plans and had gambling debts to pay off. As such, Ms Angjolie resigned from her job at a logistics company to help her mother run the funeral parlour. (In fact, the first dead body she had ever touched was that of her father). Her mother, however, had different ideas. “She kept trying to chase me out of the industry. ‘You are too young; get more exposure outside,’ she would say,” recalls Ms Angjolie, now 37. Her desire to introduce innovations also resulted in many quarrels. “My mum didn’t want change. She felt it was important to preserve my father’s name.” After a year working with her mother, she became a financial planner for a few years before returning to the funeral industry. She started a consultancy, TransLifeCare, with four overseas veterans in the field. One-anda-half years later, in 2010, she left to start her own company, Life Celebrant — and one of the first things she did was to embark on a 10-day funeral celebrant course in Sydney. At the same time, she hit upon the idea to offer upmarket wakes and funerals, complete with espresso machines and free Wi-Fi for attendees. She also began offering memorial boards after learning about them at a conference in the US. These consist of photographs, mementoes and notes so that people attending the wake can know more about the deceased. The funeral celebrant interviews friends and family of the deceased to find out what they were like, the key milestones in their lives, as well as their favourite songs, phrases and interests. These are then worked into the eulogies. The firm also ensures that the funeral highlights what is unique about the deceased. For one teenager who had a collection of Rubik’s cubes, the family gathered his cubes and gave them out, except for his favourite one, which the father put into the coffin. For a girl who had been a Harry Potter fan, they served Hogwarts Burgers and Dumbledore Scallop Magnificent at her memorial service. In the case of cancer victims who had lost their hair from treatment, her staff buy a wig so that the deceased looks more like his or her normal self. They even help put on fake eyelashes when necessary. “We don’t charge the family for it,”
Ms Angjolie says. Her innovations have paid off — the company has since grown, with 11 employees. Its latest service, Showers of Love, lets family members spend personal time with their loved one after the body is embalmed and before it is taken to the wake. While death may be a taboo subject, there is, at the same time, a fascination around it. Ms Angjolie regularly gets asked about how bodies are prepared and how people should prepare to meet their maker. That is why she recently wrote a book, Dying to Meet You, where she recounts her life story. Among other things, the book describes the embalming process (warning: not for the faint of heart) and explains Chinese funeral taboos so one can avoid making a faux pas at a wake.
LIFE LESSONS Though it outwardly doesn’t appear relevant to her work, Ms Angjolie feels that her degree from NUS has come in handy (she majored in Psychology and Economics). Soon after she started her company, Ms Angjolie signed up for a two-year diploma course in funeral directing and embalming with Mount Royal University in Calgary, Canada. Besides learning about the chemicals to use to preserve bodies, she found that she also had to do three units in conflict management. “That is where my background in Psychology kicked in,” she says. Ms Angjolie has many fond memories of her time in NUS. She lived in Kent Ridge Hall for a year and recalls waking up in the morning to the sound of crickets. She also remembers the late-night suppers at Fong Seng coffeeshop and the Arts canteen where she and her friends would spend many hours hanging out. One would imagine that a person who works in the funeral industry would be perpetually sombre. Ms Angjolie, however, has a sunny disposition and positive outlook on life. She enjoys travelling and salsa dancing. In fact, her plans for her own memorial service involve a live band playing Latin music at her favourite salsa club in Clarke Quay. Ms Angjolie believes that it is important to make the most of one’s time on earth. One of her favourite sayings is “It’s not about adding days to your life, but adding life to your days.” “Some people just live one day at a time; there is no passion, they just drag themselves to work. I believe we need to look further. If there’s something you want to do, just do it.” Dying to Meet You: Confessions of a Funeral Director is available in bookshops. O C T- D E C 2 0 1 7
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