PHOTOS COURTESY OF DIANE SAYRE
If the idea of eloping makes your heart soar, this story is for you
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o, you’ve been hemming and hawing about eloping for a while now. On one hand, there’s the idea of that fantastic rush that comes only after you’ve followed your heart’s most passionate desire. Eloping would be inexpensive and intimate, devoid of family drama, seating charts, and a million other tiny details that don’t really matter anyway. You’d look into your lover’s eyes and everything in the universe would melt away as you both uttered those two little words. On the other hand, there’s a formidable pressure: your granny’s tightly wound wishes and your well intentioned but pushy mother-in-law, to name a few. Then there are all of your friends who might not click “like” on your surprise Facebook post, “Hey guys! We tied the knot in Mexico by ourselves!” Maybe part of you wants the big dress and the big party. But is planning an entire wedding really what you want, deep down? If the idea of eloping makes your heart soar, you owe it to yourself to consider it as a rewarding, exciting, and supremely romantic option, despite what our mainstream “more is more” wedding culture has to say. Plus, you can always wear a fantastic dress, despite how many people actually see it in person. The following details the story of one bride who made the leap to elope (and lived to tell the tale). Meet Diane Sayre of Paso Robles, a woman who would not change her wedding for all the party favors in the world.
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“Eloping allowed our big day to be a much more personal event for us. Instead of having to negotiate hotels for relatives or pick out bridesmaid dresses, we really just focused on where we wanted to be, and what we wanted to say to each other,” Sayre said of her 2005 wedding on the beach in La Jolla, Calif. “We were blending a family, and we didn’t want the fact that we were creating a new family to be pushed aside because of all of the logistics involved.” How did she come to this realization? Like many brides, Sayre and her husband, Kevin Lehar, have family scattered around the country and the globe.
Looking at wedding dates immediately produced a dozen scheduling conflicts that just could not be reconciled. It was exhausting and not very romantic. “The realization came that there was never going to be a day that everyone was happy with and could do,” Sayre said. “So, we thought, ‘What do we want to do?’” This itty bitty question soon ballooned into a simple, beautiful dream. It started with “the beach at sunset” and evolved to feature an intimate ceremony that included the couples’ kids in a meaningful way. One of the best parts of getting married like this? It only matters that you enjoyed it. “When you have a lot of other factors
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE Paso Robles local and Cass Winery Garden Manager Diane Sayre eloped with her husband, Kevin Lehar, on the beach in La Jolla in 2005. The couple honored the blending of their families with an intimate ceremony that included their children, soft ocean waves, and plenty of authentic, intimate romance.
going for your wedding, it can take the moment away from you two,” Sayre said. “There are so many things you are the responsible decision maker for. You think, ‘Was the food OK? Did everyone have a good time?’ We didn’t have to worry about any of it.” In fact, the couple didn’t even procure flowers until the day of the ceremony, grabbing a few pretty tufts to brighten a short series of photos (they did pay for a photographer). When I asked Sayre if she worried about offending friends and family, she was quick to offer some sage advice. One: It’s OK to allude to the fact that you are, indeed, planning to elope. However, Sayre and her hubby were wise not tell friends and family when and where it would happen. This is key. “If you give out a date or time, your family may somehow insert themselves into it. If you think your family is going to be cool about it, send out an announcement; but again, think about those other people and make sure you understand that they see themselves as stakeholders in your relationship. Are they going to be mellow or are they going to make the event more stressful?” Obviously, telling one family member but not another is a surefire way to hurt feelings, and not recommended. If you’re worried about the fallout, make a pact with your betrothed: Your lips are sealed until after you say, “I do.” ELOPE continued on page 19