Josephine St. Joseph’s women’s magazine
Finding a diet that’s right for you Elissa Garr found making small changes to her diet could make a big difference
More inside: Celebrate the new year by dropping a grudge Bariatric surgery also requires lifestyle changes Some simple tips to keep relationships strong Principal and counselor make an award-winning team
Your New Years Party Headquarters Premier Vegetable Platter
Cracked Pepper Encrusted Smoked Salmon Platter
Cranberry Brie Hostess Tray Mini Ciabatta Party Platter
Southwest Chipolte Shrimp Platter
Chinese Delight Appetizer Platter Fantastic Fruit Platter
Terric Trio Platter All Natural Shrimp Platter
Dill Dip Appetizer Tray
Tuscan Harvest Platter
Order Your Signature Tray Today! Visit all of our ou wonderful Hy-Vee departments: FLORAL FL LOR O AL • KITCHEN KIT ITCHEN • ITALIAN • CHINESE CHI HINE N SE • DELICATESSEN DELIC • SUSHI • PRODUCE • BAKERY • SALAD BAR • DAIRY • FROZEN MEAT & SEAFOOD MARKET• PHARMACY • HEALTHMARKET • WINE & SPIRITS
201 N. Belt Hwy. • 816-232-9750 Follow us on
@ STJOSEPHHYVEE and become a fan on
editorial: (816) 271-8594 toll-free: (800) 779-6397 advertising: (816) 271-8527 fax: (816) 271-8686 josephine@ newspressnow.com
Our staff Editor Jess DeHaven firstname.lastname@example.org Presentation editor Paul Branson email@example.com Photo editor Todd Weddle firstname.lastname@example.org Designer George Stanton email@example.com
online extras Follow us on Twitter:
Find us on Facebook:
St. Joseph News-Press P.O. BOX 29 St. Joseph, MO 64502
the regulars editor’s note
Cover photography by Matt Reid|Josephine magazine
cover girl Elissa Garr, originally of Cainsville, Mo., grew up wanting to be a teacher. She’s now in her sixth year of teaching at Humboldt Elementary School and is studying for her master’s degree in counseling. Once she gets her master’s, she hopes to get her doctorate ... in something. “I kind of plan on being in school forever,” she says. What she didn’t want to be forever was sick. For years she struggled with her metabolism, her sleep schedule and her high blood pressure. Three months ago, she made some small changes to her diet that lead to a big difference. Read more about Mrs. Garr’s changes on page 16.
| Josephine magazine |
Save it 13 tips for saving money in ‘13
Let it go Celebrate the new year by dropping that grudge
Bariatric surgery a weighty decision Procedures require lifestyle changes
Get it together You can have a polished look when you head out
Find the right diet for you Take a journey to better health
Come together Couples can do simple things to keep relationships strong
Better together Pickett Elementary’s award-winning principal and counselor share special bond
Gluten glut Some find relief from gastrointestinal issues with diet changes
By JESS DEHAVEN The new year is the time many of us look to make changes for the better in our lives. For women, the top resolution is often losing weight. Perhaps you’ve tried a low-carb diet that failed? Maybe the Paleo diet didn’t work for you? If you haven’t had weight-loss success in the past, you may just need to try something different. Sylvia Anderson found that what works for one person isn’t the best choice for another. Turn to page 16 for more on figuring out what diet is best for you. If dieting isn’t your resolution, it’s a good chance that saving more money in the coming year is. If so, Shea Conner rounded up 13 ways to keep more money in your pocket in 2013. Check out that story on page 8. Improving relationships also are popular resolutions. If you’re having trouble letting go of the past, you’ll want to check out Christina Heckman’s story on page 10 about getting past those grudges. If it’s your marriage you’re looking to build up, Kristen Hare has some tips from the experts on page 20. Whatever your plans for 2013, we here at Josephine are rooting for you. If there are tips we can provide, a problem we can help solve or a success we can share, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
‘Tis the season.
Wishing you and your family moments of magic to make
Dave R. Price, Agent 910 N. Woodbine Rd. (816) 233-5632 davepriceagency.com
Tom C. Lemmon, Agent 2524 Saint Joseph Ave. (816) 279-2606 email@example.com
Lee Butler Agency 2721 Pembroke Ln. (816) 279-7770 leebutleragency.com
Rick Hopp Agency 3201 Ashland Ave. Ste. E (816) 364-1798 rickhopp.com
Cari Rich, Agent 102 E. Clay Ave. Plattsburg, Missouri (816) 539-3751 caririch.com
Matt Thrasher Agency, Inc. 301 Illinois Ave. (816) 238-1121 mattthrasher.com
Stephen D. Lorenz, Agent 1109 N. 26th St. (816) 901-9200 stephendlorenz.com
Scott Wineinger Agency 1805 Oak Ridge Circle (816) 233-5659 scottwineinger.com
Chuck Thorburn Agency, Inc.
Carolyn Sampson Agency 6120 King Hill Ave. (816) 238-5201 csampsoninsurance.com
All your protection under one roof® Call Your Local American Family Agent today. 1-800-MY AMFAM American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries American Family Insurance Company Home Office - Madison, WI 53783 www.amfam.com
125 S. 5th St. Savannah, MO (816) 324-3939
Check it out
1 New selection of prom gowns ranging from $99 to $225. Romancing The Gown 2 NuFace Trinity Device is the latest addition to the NuFace collection. This FDAcleared device delivers beautiful, unparalleled professional results that features a smart skin sensor, interchangeable heads to enable a variety of spa-quality therapies, rechargeable battery, push button controls and auto shut-off. Includes the following: NuFace Trinity device, microcurrent head, gel primer, charging cradle, and user manual + tip cards Covenant Medical Spa $348
3 Gianni Bini Big-Time suede boots in 7 colors and extended sizes. Dillardâ€™s $89.99 4 Signature Melon Medley hostess tray in an artful arrangement of freshly sliced watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, and succulent strawberries. 2-4 servings HyVee $10 5 JS collections textured-stripe mesh dress in black. Dillardâ€™s $200 6 Signature dill dip appetizer tray featuring a fresh baked bread bowl filled with creamy dill dip served with rye and pumpernickel bread, crisp red peppers, celery sticks, and baby carrots. 12-16 servings HyVee $30
This item placement advertising opportunity is available to all Josephine advertisers based on a first-come-first-serve basis. Non-advertisers can appear on this page at a charge. Ask your advertising representative.
tips for life
Better budgeting Money. Here’s the problem with budgeting that I have – sometimes I’m too lazy to do it. When it comes to balancing the checkbook, that is if you have a checkbook, it’s a huge pain if something is left off or forgotten. So why use something on the road that you already have? Enter iReconcile. This iOS app, which costs around $3, is great for budgeting, reporting and automatically balancing you checkbook. It breaks numbers down in a variety of ways, including pie charts, and can sync to your computer so you can put all of the data into a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. You have nothing to lose, except maybe a couple of dollars, by trying it, so go for it.
A solution for cord confusion
Organize. When numerous electronics are plugged into a power strip, it’s all too easy to confuse which cord goes to which device. A simple solution is to attach a breadbag clip near the base of each cord that’s labeled with the name of the device it belongs to. This technique not only makes good use of something normally thrown away but also eliminates the need for trial and error when trying to unplug something specific.
| Josephine magazine |
Help for hot flashes Health. Hot flashes make you feel like ripping off your clothes, but that’s not always appropriate. Rather than sweating in misery, try a new product called Coldfront. It was developed by a woman looking to relieve her own menopausal hot flashes without pills or a mess. The compact case comes with three gellike packs. You put them in the case and store in the freezer. The case is the size of a large wallet or sunglass case. Then when you head out, stash the case in your purse. When the hot flashes come on, pull out one of the packs, put it on the back of your neck or wherever you want and cool off quick. You’ll wonder why this wasn’t invented sooner. Get more information at www.mycoldfront.com or call (877) 694-2210.
What you need to know about guys What is he thinking? From the mind of our Shea Conner: Here are three things you should know about men. 1) We think beer is a fun thing, just like purses and shoes are for you. 2) Nothing we said a year ago applies in an argument. In fact, all of our comments become invalid after a week. People change, and there’s nothing wrong with being open-minded. 3) Sunday is a day for sports or our projects. It’s like a full moon or the change of seasons. Let it be.
Listen up Relate. Next time you’re out with your friends, challenge yourself to stay quiet while they share a story. O Magazine writer Tamala Edwards recently tried the quiet game out and found it came with benefits. She held off her interjections to a pal’s tale until she had something she thought could be of use to her friend. She wrote that she felt like she was a better friend, gave out more thoughtful advice and realized that the very thing she told her friend could apply to her life as well.
Give Yourself a New You for the New Year! Erase the years with Botox Injection, Scar Revision, Vein Treatment, Liposuction, Tummy Tuck, Arm Lift, Thigh Lift or Breast Reconstruciton, Reduction or Augmentation. For an entire list of procedures available with Dr. Tang check out www.stfranciscosmeticsurgery.com For an appointment call (660) 562-2525
ST. FRANCIS COSMETIC SURGERY 2016 South Main, Maryville, MO 64468 (660) 562-2525 www.stfranciscosmeticsurgery.com
13 tips for saving money in ’13 Keeping more money in your pocket starts now By SHEA CONNER Josephine magazine
osing weight used to be the New Year’s resolution. But the ugly economy has apparently shoved this lofty goal to second place.
A survey commissioned by Fidelity Investments found that 46 percent of respondents said their highest priority was to save more money. Have no fear! We can help you with your new resolution! We’ve talked to a couple of the best fi nancial minds about the issue — Andrea Woroch, a consumer and money-saving expert who has been featured in “Good Morning America,” NBC’s “Today” and The New York Times, and Rebecca Travnichek, the family fi nancial education specialist with University of Missouri Extension in Andrew County. With their help, we’ve compiled 13 ways you can save some moolah in 2013.
1. Cook it
You’ve seen the sights every day around noon. The gang from work marches out to pick up lunch from a local restaurant. Then, those same folks get home from work and order out for dinner. Travnichek says it’s a senseless waste of money, especially with restaurant prices on a five-year increase in excess of 26 percent, according to Woroch. “With the way our current society is, we are so busy that it’s easier to run through the drive-thru and grab dinner on the way to a ball game or a rehearsal,” Travnichek says. “You can save a lot just by trying to eliminate the number of times a family eats out.” Spend a little time on Sunday (perhaps before and during the football games) to cook for the rest of the week. Woroch recommends throwing together a pot of spaghetti sauce that will translate into multiple meals throughout the week. 8
| Josephine magazine |
2. Be smart about your smart phone
Data and text-message plans eat up budgets faster than 4G connects you to Facebook. If you’ve already teamed up with relatives, call a family meeting and decide what you can live without, then cut back your plan when it’s time to sign another contract. “You might even try creating a family plan with friends and neighbors, if the provider will allow you to do so,” Woroch says.
3. Cut the cord
“Every year it’s another rate-hike e-mail notification: ‘Due to increased overhead, we’re jacking up your cable/satellite bill another 15 percent,’” Woroch jokes. Essentially, those who pay for cable and satellite — and they’re paying an average of nearly $75 a month according to a CNN report — are paying for convenience, picture quality and time-sensitive programming like live sporting events. However, a cable TV package can be replaced by an antenna, an Internet connection and a supplemental Netflix or Hulu Plus subscription, according to St. Joseph Electronics general manager Chuck Nill. “Personally, I don’t believe that streaming-only is for everybody, but those who can do it cut off a lot of costs — sometimes, substantial costs,” Nill told the News-Press earlier this year.
4. Coupon it up
Thanks to TLC’s “Extreme Couponing,” all of America knows you can cut your bill with coupons at the grocery store. What you may not realize is these money savers can be used for nearly everything from hotel accommodations to office supplies. Mobile coupons make the process even easier, Woroch says. Coupon Sherpa, for example, has an app that allows you to access coupons from your smart phone for use right there in the store. When grocery shopping, this same app lets you search for a preferred supermarket by ZIP code, then download coupons directly to your loyalty card. The savings are then deducted at checkout.
5. Don’t forget the public library
Modern libraries aren’t the home to dusty old books that people often envision. Nearly all of them now have DVDs, CDs, e-books, Internet access and even video games — all provided for free. “Naturally, you can peruse the stacks, but that’s so 10 minutes ago. Many allow you to place an online hold for an item you want and receive it within days,” Woroch says. Check with your library, as well, for discounts on passes to museums, zoos and other attractions. You may be surprised by how many deals you’ll come across.
6. Get it with gift cards
Woroch highly recommends visiting GiftCardGranny.com. At this website, you can buy discount gift cards, sometimes saving as much as 50 percent off the face value. Secondly, you can exchange gift cards you don’t want for cash at the same site. That way, those cards don’t sit around collecting dust at the back of your dresser drawer.
7. Check out the Daily Deal
Maybe this is a shameless plug for a News-Press feature, but seriously, there is a lot of money to be saved by checking out the Daily Deal. Recent deals have included spa discounts, boutique gift certificates, half-price massages, half-price music lessons and greatly discounted eye exams. Check out offers.news pressnow.com for more information.
8. Sell your stuff
Consignment shops are ready to start laying in stock for
spring and summer, so now’s a good time to get your gently used clothes, shoes and accessories ready for resale. You can sell your items through the News-Press classifieds or other venues. Make sure you read the selling tips if you use a website so you can unload your belongings with the least amount of muss and fuss, Woroch recommends.
9. Host a garage sale in the spring
Garage sales aren’t just a form of entertainment for St. Joe’s bargain shoppers. They’re a good way to clear out household clutter and make a few bucks. Since larger sales draw bigger crowds, Woroch recommends that you begin organizing your neighborhood now to team up for a “Godzilla-size” event in May. Advertising is the most important aspect of a successful sale, she says, so don’t forget to figure in the cost of a classified ad (the News-Press has a special section dedicated entirely to garage sales).
10. Keep it cool this winter
Heating and cooling accounts for 42 percent of home energy costs, some of which is pumped into empty spaces and empty houses. Installing a programmable thermostat helps control the temperature and your bill, Woroch says, with savings from 10 to 30 percent. Try turning down the thermostat by just 1 degree during the winter or up 1 degree during warmer months to cut an additional 5 percent. Space heaters also can help reduce the amount of heat used in empty spaces.
11. Know how much you should save
Travnichek recommends a savings model based on USDA averages for moderate-level income. It addresses only the three areas in which people spend the most. She recommends 33 percent should be spent on housing (including insurance), 19 percent on transportation (including insurance and gas) and 16 percent on food (including eating out at restaurants). Those three areas make up 68 percent of a person’s income. “You don’t want to get a lower insurance plan and not have as good of coverage on your home. Gas prices are going up, and that’s something you can’t control,” Travnichek says. “You can cut in places, but you don’t have a lot of flexibility on some others.” Of the remaining 32 percent of monthly income, Travnichek says people should shoot for putting 10 percent in savings.
12. Spend cash only
“It’s so easy to swipe your way to the poor house,” Woroch says. To combat this pitfall, hide those debit and credit cards and give yourself a weekly allowance. It’s human nature to part less easily with cash, so you’re less likely to splurge on little (or big) extras, Woroch explains. Of course, this means you’ll have to make regular trips to the bank, so make sure your account is housed at an institution that doesn’t charge extra for personal services.
13. Ask and you shall receive
If you have a credit card, Woroch recommends asking for a rate reduction to trim those painful monthly interest fees. Simply call the customer service hotline and tell them that you want an interest rate reduction, or you’ll take your business elsewhere. If the customer service rep is unhelpful, ask to speak to a supervisor who has more authority over such requests. With a $5,000 balance, even a 3 percent rate reduction saves you $150 a year.
| Josephine magazine |
Let it go Celebrate the new year by dropping that grudge By JOURDAN RYAN Josephine magazine
ne of the easiest things for human beings to hold onto are grudges.
Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Ultimately, all it does is hold us back. If we know this though, then why do we do it? Why do we hold onto anger or mistrust? The answer is simple. Dwelling on past hurts and pains can act as a sort of coping method, a very dangerous one. “We hold grudges for a variety of reasons. Our feelings are hurt and we need resolve or closure, and until that happens, we ruminate on our pain,” Bishop LeBlond academic school counselor Chris Danford says. “When we feel wronged, we start focusing on the wrong in everything. When we feel pain, it can consume us.” So how did we get this way? Some evolutionary psychologists believe that we have been struggling with grudges since cavemen roamed the Earth, relying on the theory that people depended on each other for survival, so when they were betrayed, it cost them much more than a bad day. It could cost them their next meal, their safety or even their lives. In the end, it seems we are wired to hold grudges, but that doesn’t mean that we ought to. “Grudges, from a counseling perspective, keep people in bondage to the situation or event,” Danford says. “The one who did the pain, intentional or not, moves on, and the other stagnates in misery, anger, mistrust or injustice. It’s a horrible place to be.”
| Josephine magazine |
We have all been hurt by someone close to us in some way or another. Everyone has been let down, stood up, rejected or disappointed. The bitter remnants of these betrayals can be brutal, but there’s no denying that forgiveness is the healthiest solution, both emotionally and physically. In 2009, a study done by the Medical College of Georgia concluded that “bearing grudges is associated with a history of pain disorders, cardiovascular disease and stomach ulcers.” “Both science and Scripture speak to the benefits of learning to let things go. Science would say that the physical exertion assumed by holding a grudge leads to other negative physical consequences,” Make12 Church Pastor Beau Walker says. “Additionally, there are numerous places throughout scripture that speak to the issue of forgiveness over holding a grudge. For example, in Luke 7:47, Jesus explains that those who are thankful for the times they have been forgiven will extend that forgiveness to other people.” The key to letting go of a grudge is choosing to hold onto forgiveness instead. However, this is easier said than done. In some ways, to forgive is to surrender, to turn the other cheek. Ultimately, forgiveness is a decision that we have to make in our own time. There is no right time to let go, but when we stop to consider the negative effects a grudge might be having on our lives, holding onto it might begin to seem pointless. “I believe if we harbor any negative feelings for a length of time that it eats at who we are. That grudge becomes a focus and it will want to be fed,” Danford says. “We have to recognize that we don’t have to own the grudge. We become free when we let go. There’s the power.” A survey done by the American Society in 2010 found that 60 percent of Americans believe that forgiveness is conditional, that whoever wronged them needed to apologize in order to gain their forgiveness. In most cases, this may be why people hold onto grudges for so long, because they’re waiting for an apology. But sometimes, an “I’m sorry” will never be uttered and justification doesn’t come. The hardest thing to grasp about forgiveness is that it isn’t about us being vindicated, it’s about us letting go and moving on. “Start by thinking of a time that a person forgave you. Maybe you lied to your parents or you cheated in a relationship. Then remember how difficult it must have been for that person to let go of your wrongdoing,” Walker says. “What you begin to realize is that you are not perfect and someone along the way has forgiven you for something. It is this universal law that beckons you to return the favor.”
Join us weekdays at newspressnow.com/Josephine for web-only content covering the issues most important to women. Health | Saving Money | Fashion Beauty | Food | Relationships
SPONSORED BY Making decisions can be difficult, especially in a crisis. One decision is all you need - Living Community of St. Joseph. Living Community offers a full continuum of care, with independent living, assisted living, long term care, skilled nursing, and rehabilitation therapies. As your needs change the appropriate care is right down the hall. Stop by or call today to find out how easy it is to make one decision. (816) 671-8500.
A FULL CONTINUUM OF CARE
1202 Heartland Rd., St. Joseph, MO 64506 www.lcosj.com
A full continuum of exceptional senior living
Bariatric surgery a weighty decision Procedures require lifestyle changes
By JENNIFER GORDON Josephine magazine
ee Ann Blue’s diabetes made up her decision to have weight-loss surgery.
When she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in October 2009, Blue, the manager of Bode Middle School’s cafeteria, knew that meant her eating habits had become more than just a personal issue. She already had high blood pressure. “I wanted to have it done because I 12
knew that the high blood pressure and the diabetes were just the start,” Blue says. “I knew something was going to happen.” Her insurance company agreed to cover the cost. In January 2010, she enrolled in the mandatory doctor-supervised weight-loss program. To have the surgery, patients must lose 10 percent of their excess body weight through lifestyle changes, she says. She had a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass in June 2010. Dr. Phillip Hornbostel, a bariatric surgeon at Heartland Health’s Weight Management Center, says patients should consider bariatric surgery if they have a body mass index of 35 or higher. If their BMI exceeds 50, then they’re out of options, he says. Studies have shown a small success rate for people losing that much excess weight on their own. “Jared Fogles are out there,” Hornbostel says, referring to Subway’s spokesperson, “but for every Jared Fogle, there are 50 patients who can’t do what he did.”
| Josephine magazine |
Dr. Hornbostel touts the medical benefit of bariatric surgery to patients. Weight-loss surgery has been shown to cure many patients’ type 2 diabetes. The New England Journal of Medicine published two studies on the phenomenon this past spring. One, conducted at the Cleveland Clinic, looked at three groups of patients with diabetes. One group got a sleeve gastrectomy, one received bypass and the third had drug therapy. After one year, 42 percent of the gastric bypass patients, 37 percent of patients who received the gastric sleeve operation and 12 percent of patients who underwent drug therapy had normal blood sugar levels. Cornell University’s Weill Cornell Medical Center participated in a second study which showed that after two years, 95 percent of patients who had received biliopancreatic diversion and 75 percent of patients who had gastric bypass had put their diabetes into remission. The help for the diabetes, Hornbostel says, does not have to do with the weight
loss following a bariatric procedure. Many of his patients see improvements in the diabetes within days. After her procedure, Blue was off insulin before her discharge from the hospital. Bariatric surgery isn’t an option for everyone. The surgeries pose a small risk. The American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery (ASMBS) estimates the complication rate is 2.5 percent. Critics of weight-loss surgery say that the procedures do not fix what led to the excess weight in the first place. Lifestyle changes and eating habits still need to be modified in order to sustain the weight loss. ASMBS reports that five years removed from their procedure, most patients have maintained about 50 percent of their excess weight-loss. The procedures change the way patients eat. Gastric bypass shrinks the stomach to a small pouch. Eating too much or eating the wrong type of food could result in dumping syndrome. Blue had heard horror stories from other patients about what types of foods could cause problems post-operation. She cut soda out of her diet completely. She doesn’t eat much bread anymore because of how it makes her feel. Patients’ decisions should not be made lightly, Hornbostel says. Heartland offers counseling before and after for patients who decide to go through with the procedure to make sure they understand all that their surgery will entail. Losing the excess weight also will leave the patient with excess skin. There’s no exercise in the world that will get rid of that skin, Hornbostel tells his patients. Blue says she’s happy with her choice. She can keep up with her husband’s pace during their walks. She can bend over and cross her legs. Weight gain remains an issue, but not like before. “I think it’s worked out really great,” her husband, David Blue, says.
Types of surgery For patients with a body mass index of 55 or higher, a Roux-En-Y gastric bypass is the only option, says Dr. Phillip Hornbostel, a bariatric surgeon with Heartland Health’s Weight Management Center. Patients with BMIs in the 40 to 55 range have options. The vertical sleeve gastrectomy has the lowest short- and long-term risks, but it’s irreversible and most insurance carriers won’t cover it. During the procedure, surgeons remove most of the stomach and leave a slender, vertical pouch. In the gastric band procedure, often known by its brand name, LAP-BAND, a device cinches off the stomach. The gastric band has a low short-term risk for complications but a higher long-term risk of complication than other types of bariatric surgery. In many countries, Hornbostel said, surgeons are taking out more gastric bands than they’re putting in.
During Roux-En-Y gastric bypass, surgeons make a smaller stomach pouch out of the patients’ stomach and link the new stomach to the middle portion of the small intestine. The biliopancreatic diversion surgery has been shown to work the best among the weight-loss surgeries, but it carries the most risk. It’s typically done on patients with BMIs over 50. In the procedure, part of the stomach is removed and connected to the lower part of the small intestine. It makes it harder for patients to get the nutrients they need, so patients with this procedure must take supplements after their surgery.
For every Jared Fogle, there are 50 patients who can’t do what he did. — DR. PHILLIP HORNBOSTEL, Heartland bariatric surgeon
Start yyour career training now!
New Address: 37009 N. Belt Hwy., St. Joseph, MO 64506 Also offering programs in the fields of: For more information about these programs, including graduation and employment rates, tuition and fees, and median debt of students who have completed the program, please visit www.vatterott.edu/programs.asp.
Massage Therapy Medical Billing & Coding Medical Assisting
Criminal Justice Computer Technology Business Management
Get it together
You can have a polished look when you head out By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE Josephine magazine
ou know who she is.
The woman who always looks so together, even on the days when you know she doesn’t feel that way. How does she do it? According to Erin Barnes, a thirtysomething mom and personal style consultant based in Olathe, Kan., organization is a key to looking the way you want. Achieving your best look is the inspiration behind her website, pretty polishedperfect.com. She says: “There’s nothing worse than being in a hurry (or being asked to do three things at once) and not being able to find what you need or want!” We all know how having to walk out the door without that finishing touch can impact a day. As clothing expert Debbie Swope says, “I just feel like getting the day over with and trying again tomorrow.” 14
Swope, 50, has a textile design background and currently develops apparel for a major corporate merchandise company based in Overland Park. See what tips Swope, Barnes and other area women have for achieving a polished look every day.
Head to Toe
Step 1: Do your hair. This doesn’t have to take an hour. “An updo always gives the appearance of more elegance — even if it’s a messy bun,” says Barnes. If you have long hair, always keep ponytail holders on hand, too. Have short hair? A headband or pretty barrette could be a solution on a not-sosmooth hair day. Kara Ames, a stylist at Edmond Street Parlor in St. Joseph, would agree on the role one’s locks can play in personal style. She also knows a polished look extends from head to toe. “I do love getting pedis,” Ames says. Of course, a gal need not change her polish with every outfit, but, whether
| Josephine magazine |
you do your own nails or go to a salon, do maintain the paint. Chipped nails are a style detractor.
Long before she had kids of her own, Jacquie Fisher received some advice from her grandmother that she still uses today: “Make sure some part of your pretty face is darker than the circles under your eyes.” Translation: Use make-up to cover up an unflattering area or draw attention to a flattering one. Fisher of Olathe, Kan., promotes family activities around Kansas City, at the website KCEdventures.com. Putting your face on doesn’t have to take all morning. As Barnes says, “Mascara, blush and lip gloss make a world of difference, and it only has to take one to two minutes of your time.” Want a look that will last through the years? Swope advises keeping lip color on hand for anytime someone breaks out a camera. “You should always put lipstick on before someone decides to take your
picture, so you don’t have that washedout look,” she says.
It’s the little things that can really pull a look together. With the right accessories, it’s possible to look like you put a lot more time into your outfit than you really did. “A statement necklace can detract from the fact that you are wearing the simplest of outfits,” says Barnes. She’s a bracelet lover, too. She even keeps a stash of bangles in her car. Rings or a pretty brooch can enhance an outfit, as well. Figure out what works for you. “I also like to always wear earrings,” Swope says, “because it dresses you up, even if your hair is in a ponytail.”
Remember, you don’t have to break the bank to look good. Anna Musgrave Bannister, a mom in Lee’s Summit, Mo., says: “There are so many great sales and coupons for top name-brand designers and fashions that can help achieve the professional look you desire. Whether it’s getting a rock-bottom price on a terrific accent necklace or the perfect pair of leather boots, you can be fashionably savvy.” Bannister promotes frugal living through her blog, YourRetailHelper.com. Doing more with less, fashion-wise, is a lesson Swope has learned over the years. “I used to spend a lot more of my budget on clothing,” she says. “Now I would say I have more ‘uniforms’ — basic dress slacks and nice tops, which I accessorize with scarves, jewelry and jackets.”
Don’t let it get to you
This advice may truly be in vain, but try not to let an unpolished appearance get you down. Whether you’re having a frizzy hair day or realize at lunchtime there’s a stain on your skirt, be confident. Understanding what looks best on your own body can really help with this. “I don’t have the body to wear the styles I like so I finally learned to stop trying,” Swope says, “because those would be the days where I felt uncomfortable in my clothes, because it wasn’t me.” Always make your goal to feel good and look like you. “Don’t apologize for your appearance. Own it,” Barnes says.
OUR ROOTS ARE LOCAL! Super & Fair Trade Foods Herbs
Tips and tricks
For those occasions when you don’t have time to primp, keep the following items handy:
■ ■ ■ ■ ■
Ponytail holders Small tub of hair pomade Lipstick or lip gloss Mascara Bracelets
An Independent Health Food Store
Highest Quality Dietary Supplements
Certified Health & Lifestyle Coaching
Mail & Special Orders
M-F 11 A.M. - 6 P.M.
816-279-9977 • Like us on Facebook A-Z’s Freshair fare and natural market • email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Find the right diet for yo Take a journey to better health
| Josephine magazine |
Elissa Garr, whose new diet created a fresh start in her life, poses outside of East Hills Mall. Matt Reid | Josephine Magazine
| Josephine magazine |
By SYLVIA ANDERSON Josephine magazine
hen Elissa Garr graduated from high school she was healthy, athletic and weighed 135 pounds. But in less than 10 years, she ballooned to 190 pounds and needed medication for high blood pressure and acid reflux, as well asa narcotic sleep medication every night. Diets did not work. “I couldn’t get healthy,” she says. “I really watched my calories, I worked out, but I couldn’t get the weight to come off. I was hungry all the time and it was horrible.” Garr wanted to start a family, but she knew something had to change. She found the solution after meeting with Dr. Ronald Kempton, a family practice physician in St. Joseph. He suggested she try the Paleo diet and educated her on why it might work for her. Nicknamed the “caveman diet,” it is based on meats, seafood, fruits and vegetables, but no grains, sugar, milk or legumes. The first week she lost nine pounds. After three months, she lost 25 pounds and no longer needed any of her medications. “Immediately my eyes got bluer, my skin was not so dry, my hair was softer,” Garr says. “ I could sleep, my mind was clear, not foggy. It was amazing.” But before you throw out your milk and cereal, know that the Paleo diet is not for everyone. In fact, there is no diet that is perfect for all people – not even the government food pyramid. It’s a matter of learning what is best for you. “The problem with diet books today is they just answer ‘what.’ Eat this and not that,” says Jim Fly, certified health counselor and owner A-Z’s Freshair Fare Natural Market in Downtown St. Joseph. You really need to know the who and why, he says.
eating is appropriate for everyone,” he says. The case for bio-individuality became clear at a natural product conference Fly attended where he met two celebrity cookbook authors, actress Alicia Silverstone and renowned make-up artist Kat James. “They were both beautiful women, trim, confident, happy, and they advocated radically different diets,” he says. Silverstone believes in a vegan diet with no dairy, meat or fish, while James favors full-fat organic dairy, grass-fed meats and wild-caught fish. Both have websites that provide before-and-after stories of people who have tried their diets and have improved dramatically. “As Joshua Rosenthal says, ‘Nutrition is the only science in which two people with two diametrically opposed philosophies can prove their points,’” Fly says.
Diet killer: food intolerance
One reason the Paleo diet worked well for Garr is that she feels less hungry with more protein in her diet. Also, she discovered she is gluten intolerant. Wheat was not only making it hard for her to lose weight but also making her sick. “Food intolerance can be potentially the No. 1 reason many people are trying ‘everything’ to lose weight with no results,” writes Isabel De Los Rios in her online newsletter Beyond diet. The most common food intolerance culprits are wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, soy and corn. They can cause a number of problems including bloating, gas and digestive issues. Rios suggests eliminating them from your diet for two weeks, then slowly reintroducing them to see how you do.
Where are you from?
Genetics has a role in your diet, too. As reported in the December issue of wholeliving.com, DNA is now being tested to give a person the definitive answer on how to eat and lose weight and be healthy. But just knowing where your ancestors came from can get you closer to figuring out your ideal diet. “It’s important to know where you came from because genetically you are still programmed to eat that way, even though your geographic location has changed,” Fly says.
Who are you?
Fly says after studying 100 different dietary theories at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, he realized we are all different in our dietary requirements and we must consider a number of things which have very little to do with calorie counting, such as gender, age, ethnic background, where you live, what your body type is, even what season it is. It’s called “bio-individuality.” “It’s the concept that while we are all human, our bodies metabolize and assimilate the nutrients in foods on an individual basis and because of that, no one dietary regimen or style of
| Josephine magazine |
That’s why an estimated 40 percent of the world’s population is lactose intolerant, Fly says, which includes many people of African and Asian descent. They lack the lactate enzyme to digest milk sugar. On the other hand, people with ancestors from countries where dairy cattle have been raised for centuries, such as the Swiss and Scandinavians, do have the enzyme and can drink milk.
The first thing clients do when they sign up for Fly’s nutrition counseling is to fill out a health history and take a number of tests to learn about their preferences, lifestyle and ancestral background. Then they learn how to balance their life in the areas of spirituality, career, rest, activity and relationships. “You can eat all the brown rice and broccoli in the world,” Fly says, “but if you don’t have any of these it won’t do you any good.” Balance includes being flexible about your eating, adjusting to the situation you are in. We all know those people who make a big, annoying production about everything they eat. It’s got a name: orthorexia nervosa, meaning those who are obsessed with healthy eating. “Eat for your nutritional type 90 percent of the time,” Fly says, “and it gives you 10 percent flexibility to divert from that for holidays and vacations.” As Garr discovered through education and some trial and error, you can find what foods make you feel good and what ones you should avoid. It’s no longer a “diet” to try to endure until you lose the weight, but something you want to do for your lifetime. “For most people it’s a journey,” says Sheri Caldwell, dietitian at Hy-Vee in St. Joseph. Caldwell gives nutrition consultations and takes customers on free store tours to help them with their diets, showing
them what kinds of food to look for. Whether it’s heart-healthy, weight loss, gluten-free or just healthy eating, they are eager to learn. “I find people will have an ‘a-ha’ moment,” she says, ‘when they say I need to eat better and take care of my health.’” It’s not a simple fix and can be a challenge, but for people like Garr, the journey to better health is worth going on. “I really feel it saved my life,” she says, “and gave me a shot to look and feel fabulous.”
Make “MVP” Program your New Year’s Resolution! How is your libido? Have y you p put on more weight? g Are you unusually fatigued? Are you ffeeling A li your age? ?
WE CAN HELP! 4906 Frederick Ave. • 816-233-3700 www.docpotts.com
Couples can do simple things to keep their relationships strong By KRISTEN HARE Josephine magazine
ou know that couple that can’t really stand each other? They’re still together, but they pick and they fight and they nag and they trash each other whenever they can. When couples therapists see couples like that one, those couples are usually making one last attempt to save the relationship. But your marriage or relationship doesn’t have to get to that point. Ilene Schaller, a licensed clinical social worker 20
with her own practice, Laura Moore, a licensed clinical social worker at Catholic Charities, and Cindy Whitmer, executive director and a licensed professional counselor at All Faith Counseling Center in Atchison, Kan., have some simple things you can do to keep your relationship on the right course.
Get back to basics
Communicate. That one thing was perhaps the most important thing all women recommend. Communicate. On a daily basis, Schaller tells her clients to sit down and have quality time together where you’re talking about your day, your plans, “whatever, as long as they are communicating with one another or spending some quality time with
| Josephine magazine |
one another.” Life is stressful, and often in the peaks of stressful times couples forget to work together, Moore says, whether it’s because of finances or kids or work. “They forget to communicate at times and lose track of where everything is instead of working as a team.” Of course it’s easy to say “communicate,” but what does it mean? Where do you start? When Whitmer sees couples, she works to help them dig for the treasures of their relationship that have been covered up over time by what she calls “the gunk of life.” Underneath that, Whitmer says, are the reasons the couple fell in love, what attracted them to each other and what they have in common. “Look for that,” she says, “where the spark happened.”
Another important relationship glue all three women recommend — have a date night. Set rules and boundaries before, Whitmer says. No talking about the kids or families, no errand running, no talk of budgets or bills. Do something you’ll both enjoy, she says. “Keep it light, pleasurable and fun,” Whitmer says. “Have fun together.” There are lots of reasons why dates can’t happen — maybe you don’t have a babysitter or money is tight. That’s OK. See if a friend could watch your kids one night with the promise of returning the favor, and get out of the house. If you can’t, then maybe a night in with a late dinner after the kids’ bedtime, followed by a movie. Or play a card game, or have a drink and a little time looking through old photo albums together. If money is tight, remember picnics are free, so are people-watching, hikes, drives (minus the gas) and often the library offers great free movie nights or other programs you might both enjoy.
Get off each other’s back
A marriage is a little like having a teenager around, Whitmer says. They may do a lot of things you don’t like, but you have to pick your battles. Can you live with purple hair? Probably. Can you live with drug use? Nope. “I say to couples, ‘Choose your battles carefully,’” Whitmer says. Yes, socks on the floor, the toothpaste cap off and always being 10 minutes late are annoying things. They can ruin your relationship if you let them. So don’t let them. Instead, identify deal-breakers. You probably want monogamy, trust, loyalty, financial stability, good parenting. Can you live with sweaty socks on the floor? Probably. For more advice on maintaining a strong relationship, Whitmer recommends checking out www.afccweb.org. Under resources, go to books, and check out the list there of books about relationships. Whitmer also recommends a 5-to-1 rule that’s easy to remember. For every one negative thing a person hears, she says, they need to hear five positive things. So if you need to point something out to your spouse, focus on noticing the good stuff throughout the day, too, in a natural way. When you do that, Whitmer says, your partner can be receptive to what you’re saying and not shut down the moment you start to nag again. And every day, she says, the simplest thing you can do is be grateful to each other for the little things.
See a New You in the New Year. Buy one complete pair, get one 50% off.*
816-364-0450 8816 364 0450 or 888 888-916-9898 916 9898 2925 N. Belt Hwy., St. Joseph, MO www.specshoppe.com
*See Store for Details The best eyewear. The best value. The best service.
New Year, New Legs Do you suffer from varicose veins & spider veins?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We offer specialized treatments for varicose veins & spider veins!
Contact us today for your
816-364-1623 • Sclerotherapy • Ultherapy • Coolsculpt • Hydrafacial • Massage Therapy • Fraxel • Laser Hair Removal • And Much More!
816-364-1623 • www.amelioremedispa.com 1419 Village Drive, Lower Level, St. Joseph, MO
Matt Reid | Josephine Magazine
Pickett Elementary School principal Sarah Gerving, sitting, and one of the schoolâ€™s counselors, Dee Anna Kelley, pose in the Pickett cafeteria. 22
| Josephine magazine |
Better together Pickett Elementary’s award-winning principal and counselor share special bond
By ERIN WISDOM St. Joseph News-Press
eing new to a school is never easy. But shortly before Sarah Gerving and Dee Anna Kelley began jobs at Pickett Elementary School in 2009, they found something that made their transitions easier: Each other. Please see Page 24
Come & Meet
Our Friendly Team of Professionals
Romancing The Gowns Designer Gowns at a Fraction of the Original Price
JAN MAUGHMER, OWNER ROMANCINGTHEGOWNS.COM
We have appointments available: • Fridays • Early Mornings • Lunch Hours
17498 COUNTY ROAD 287 SAVANNAH, MO 64485 816-803-3153
We are always looking for new consignors who want to resell their gowns! • Looking for designer gowns purchased at boutiques or bridal shops • Contact Jan Maughmer for more information
Lay Back, Relax & Lose Weight! In Our State-Of-The-Art Infrared Sauna
Ask about a FREE Slimdome session!
Dennis T. Myers, D.D.S. P.A. 816-232-9790 • www.stjoesmiles.com
OPEN: TROY, KS - Monday & Wednesday ST. JOSEPH - Monday - Friday We also offer lunch hour appointments!
Call Today! Center for Detoxification & Weight Management 816-279-0700 STJOSEPHCHIROPRACTIC.COM • 2335 N. BELT HWY • ST. JOSEPH, MO
Principal and counselor share special bond CONTINUED FROM Page 23 Gerving, Pickett’s principal, and Kelley, one of its counselors, quickly discovered quite a bit in common. For one, they both had experience working in Title 1 schools. Also, Gerving had spent a number of years teaching in Wathena, Kan., where Kelley lives now. And they even have the same wedding anniversary — June 5 — although they’re quick to note they do have different husbands. Perhaps most importantly, “We both have a core value of relationships,” Gerving says. “So we’re all about building relationships in this building.” Another commonality they share is a status as award winners this school year. Gerving was named Distinguished Principal of the Year by the St. Joseph chapter of the Missouri Association of Elementary School Principals, and Kelley was named Northwest Missouri Elementary School Counselor of the Year — having been nominated by Gerving. She also went on to receive the designation of Missouri Elementary School Counselor of the Year. Both say the accolades are nice and that it’s nice, too, to share in the recognition together this year. But even more important to them is the friendship they share, which helps them be their best for their school — and sometimes achieves
this in unexpected ways. Ways like a car wrapped in Saran Wrap and pickles, or a car wrapped in tinfoil — both April Fools’ Day pranks Kelley has played on Gerving. Kelley also is known for shopping garage sales and thrift stores year-round to stock a “bag of tricks” she’s not afraid to make use of, even at occasions such as one of the awards ceremonies honoring her recently. There, she sneaked a mannequin hand onto the plate of a teacher sitting at her table. “I think having an administrator who’s willing to be silly and bring in fun has made a big difference here,” Kelley says in regard to Gerving’s support of this part of her personality. “It’s an acknowledgment that we’re all human and make mistakes and it’s OK to laugh … as well as work hard.” And when it comes to work: For both women, their commitment to their school’s students, parents and staff isn’t limited to the school building or to school hours. It’s not unheard of for them to set off together to check on a student who hasn’t been in school or to put their own money toward meals or clothing for a Pickett family in need. “A lot of times we just look at each other, grab our keys and go do what we can do to help,” Gerving says. They’re also appreciative of each oth-
er’s individual efforts. “There’s a reason I’m not a principal,” Kelley notes. “That’s a tough, tough job.” Similarly, Gerving acknowledges that she’s not cut out to be a counselor — although she did have to play the role one day when Kelley was away and a little girl who had just lost her grandmother was in need of counseling. Deciding to rise to the occasion, Gerving sat down with her and soon found herself crying as the student’s experience made her remember losing her own grandmother. “The student went home that day and said, ‘Mrs. Kelley was out of the building, and Mrs. Gerving was not much help,’” Gerving recounts. This school year, Kelley is out of the building often, spending four days a week at Colgan Alternative Resource Center to ensure the district’s most at-risk students have better access to counseling services. But her Mondays still are spent at Pickett — an arrangement both women appreciate. And just as having each other made it easier three years ago to adjust to their new jobs, having Gerving’s support of her move to the Colgan Center has made this change “that much sweeter” for Kelley. “We’re not afraid of a challenge, and we’ve taken a lot of risks together,” Kelley adds. “We trust each other’s professional opinion and just know the other is going to do what’s best for kids in the long run.”
Some find relief from gastrointestinal issues with diet changes By CHRISTINA HAZELWOOD HECKMAN
fortified. In contrast, many gluten-free products are not fortified. “Gluten free does not equal a healthy diet,” says Sarah Knorr of Northwest Health Services in Saf you don’t have a problem with vannah, Mo. “Many gluten-free products are full of gluten you may have no idea what starch and calories. For most Americans, the focus should be on eating a balanced diet with at least it is, but some people avoid it like half of grains whole and avoiding processed foods. the plague. Gluten, a protein found Unless the person has a diagnosis of celiac disease, a gluten-free diet is not likely to be benein wheat, barley and rye, can wreak ficial, Knorr says. Individuals with celiac disease havoc on those diagnosed with celiac must forever avoid wheat, barley and rye. Even a disease or gluten intolerance. Besides small crumb can cause an individual with celiac to gastrointestinal symptoms, gluten-sen- become ill, she says. “If someone feels sick when eating wheat, she sitive people often complain of fatigue needs to visit their primary care provider to see if she needs testing,” Knorr says. “If gluten is stopped and headaches. before testing, the test may return false negative “People with celiac disease have an intolerresults. Celiac disease only affects about one ance to gluten,” says Sarah Wood with Heartland percent of the population, but it is easily misdiagWellness Connections. “When people with this nosed.” condition eat gluten, the lining of the small intesWebMD states that there is a difference between tine becomes inflamed, causing damage to the villi a food allergy and food intolerance. A food allergy (tiny hair-like projections that absorb nutrients is an abnormal response to a food that is triggered from food).” by the immune system. The immune system is not Damaged villi do not effectively absorb basic nu- responsible for the symptoms of a food intolerance, trients. If left untreated, Wood says, damage can be even though these symptoms can resemble those of chronic and life threatening, causing an increased a food allergy. For example, being allergic to milk risk of associated disorders – both nutritional and is different from not being able to digest it properly immune related. Classic symptoms include abdue to lactose intolerance. It’s important for people dominal cramping, intestinal gas, distention and who have true food allergies to identify them and bloating of the stomach, chronic diarrhea or consti- prevent allergic reactions, because these reactions pation (or both), steatorrhea (fatty stools), anemia, can cause devastating illness and, in some cases, unexplained weight loss with large appetite or be fatal. weight gain. People with celiac disease can reduce “Some symptoms of wheat allergy include these symptoms/complications when they remove watery, itchy eyes, nasal congestion and rash,” gluten from their diet, she says. Knorr says. “The skin tests may be better than The gluten-free diet has become a popular fad older allergen blood tests, but new allergen testing diet with claims that it is healthier and promotes is proving to be very effective. Individuals with weight loss. But people should use caution. wheat allergy should avoid wheat, because fre“Any weight loss is really just a result of fewer quent exposure can cause worsening of the allergy. overall calories and highly processed foods,” Wood In severe cases the throat can close.” says. “Think about all of the junk foods that you St. Joseph resident Libby Jordan has been gluten wouldn’t be able to eat if you couldn’t eat gluten un- free since she was diagnosed with a wheat allergy less you made your own or bought specialty items. in July. Since giving up gluten, she has more enerThe only medically relevant use for following a gy and feels better overall. gluten-free diet is in the case of celiac disease or “My joints don’t bother me,” Jordan says. “I used another form of gluten allergy/sensitivity.” to have regular knee and hip pain. My allergies If not done correctly, a gluten-free diet can cause this fall have been very mild to the point of not deficiencies in iron, vitamin B12, vitamin D, magneeding regular decongestants that I used to use nesium, fiber and other nutrients because people are avoiding breads, cereals and grains that are Please see Page 27 Josephine magazine
| Josephine magazine |
| Josephine magazine |
CONTINUED FROM Page 25 daily. I also get a lot less headaches. I’ve lost about 15 pounds and am no longer bloated and swollen. “Initially it was a bit challenging, and I thought I could get away with cheating from time to time,” she says. “The last time I purposely cheated was sharing an appetizer with friends. I ordered my meal from the restaurant’s gluten-free menu, so I know it was safe. The appetizer was not on that menu, so I was really taking a risk. Within 20 minutes I had stomach cramps, tons of gas and literally had to run to the bathroom. It made me so sick so quickly that from that point on it hasn’t been worth cheating.” Jordan says she also has swapped out all her shower gels, shampoos, lotions, facial soap and makeup to make sure they’re gluten free as well. With cooperation between doctors and patients, more people are being correctly diagnosed and now are living healthier lives. “After dealing with painful joints, sore muscles and fatigue for several months and irritable bowel syndrome and gastro esophageal reflux disease for several years, my physician recommended I try a gluten-free diet,” says Mary Lou Meier, an occupational therapist in St. Joseph.
“She also informed me of a blood test for food allergens. When it came back positive for gluten, we decided to test our children also. They both have had GERD for a while as well and are on proton pump inhibitors.” Meier and her children opted out of having colonoscopies to confirm celiac disease because they learned the treatment is the same: avoid gluten. “Initially it was very difficult to follow a gluten-free diet, as almost everything in our cupboards consisted of whole wheat or whole grain,” she says. “However, the diet has become pretty simple to follow now. Our children know how to read food labels and what to avoid. It’s really been an easy lifestyle change. I don’t crave carbohydrates or processed snacks like I used to.” Meier says dining out is a bit tricky, but there are a few apps that have simplified that. “I would much rather be gluten free and pain free than have to treat the symptoms with medications that often have side effects,” she says. “Eliminating foods processed with gluten has helped me stop taking Nexium. Being gluten free isn’t impossible or miserable. It’s definitely work, but it has been so worth it.”
Tips for managing a gluten-free diet
■ Get educated. Learn about what glu-
ten free really means, including ingredients, food labels, cross contamination and food preparation. “It is important to be aware of cross contamination in products that don’t typically contain gluten,” Wood says. “Cross contamination occurs when gluten-free foods come into contact with foods that contain gluten. It can happen during the manufacturing process, for example, if the same equipment is used to make a variety of products.” Some food labels include a ‘may contain’ statement if this is the case. But be aware that this type of statement is voluntary. You still need to check the actual ingredient list. If you’re not sure whether a food contains gluten, don’t buy it, or check with the manufacturer first to ask what it contains. If a person who has celiac disease accidentally eats a product that contains gluten, he or she may experience abdominal pain and diarrhea. Some people experience no signs or symptoms after eating gluten, but this doesn’t mean it’s not damaging their small intestines. Even small amounts of gluten in your diet may be damaging, whether or not they cause signs or symptoms. ■ Speak up. Make sure people handling your food understand your needs. ■ Get techie. Use Apps from Urbanspoon and Gluten Free Registry to check for gluten-free foods when not at home.
Getting Clip&Click Coupons on the go is quick & easy! Instantly view this week’s Clip&Click deals and redeem your coupons directly from your mobile device.
Go to your News-Press Now Mobile app
Click Clip&Click Coupons
Saving has never been easier! COUPONS
Resolving to move on When a woman’s ready to leave, the man should let go
ALONZO WESTON is a columnist and reporter for the St. Joseph News-Press staff for more than 20 years. He and his wife, Deanna, have two children and a dog. The St. Joseph native is also a sports junkie who doesn’t pick up after himself. If you’d like to suggest an idea for this column, contact Alonzo at alonzo.weston@ newspressnow.com.
ight about now is when everybody starts to make New Year’s resolutions. We’re planning to go on diets and work out more. We’re giving up bad habits like smoking, drinking and overeating. After the ball drops in Times Square, your wife/girlfriend decides to give up only one bad habit this year. You find out it’s you. What do you do? You had hopes of traipsing into the new year together. Now suddenly your wife/girlfriend decides to go on life’s path alone — or with some other soul mate. I don’t buy that line that they would just rather be alone. Unless you’re that incorrigibly sloppy, lazy, stupid or abusive, nobody leaves a relationship to just get away. There’s usually always somebody waiting where the grass is greener. But cheer up. I’m here to tell you that your whole new year doesn’t have to be ruined because your baby done left home. Give yourself the seven stages of grief if you choose, but move on. Of course moving on if you’re married is much trickier and more costly. The motorcycle, the big screen plasma and the XBox you thought were yours? They’re not. They’re part of divorce negotiations. And if you have kids, it’s even more difficult and it doesn’t matter if you’re married or not. Expect to give up half your income in child support for the next 18 years. If up to this point you’ve been a slacker, having to pay child support now forces you to get a real job or two if you want to survive. But let’s say you’ve been living with this woman for a year. The
| Josephine magazine |
rose-colored glasses you both saw the relationship through a year ago now become garishly clear, like things do in those yellow-lens sunglasses. She was never going to learn to cook anyway. You were never going to pick up after yourself. She’s just not that into you. Author Denis Boyles once said in his “The Thinking Man’s Guide to Breaking Up,” that “when everything is going well, the end of a relationship seems far enough away to be measured in light years. But a romance on the brink can travel at light speed.” I’ve seen guys whimper like little babies when their girlfriend leaves them. It really is like their mother abandoned them. It’s that traumatic. But when a woman is ready to leave, make no mistake she’s ready. No amount of begging, pleading or pledging to be a better man will stop her. In fact, begging too much only reminds her of the pathetic jerk you really are. Even if she does come back, it will only be for awhile. You will have lost all the respect points you ever had in the relationship. She knows she can do anything and you’ll take her back. Boyles says “If she asks for space ... it’s time to give her so much space that she feels like Neil Armstrong.” Once she says she wants to leave, leave her alone. Don’t call her, don’t text her or send flowers. No doubt she’s already in the arms of another man and this will only annoy her even more. Again, most people don’t leave unless they have someone or somewhere to run to. By being cool and letting her go she might look back fondly someday and see she made a mistake. She may realize this sooner than you or even she may think. But by then, you may be in another relationship hoping this end game doesn’t start all over again.
aving a friend sure sounds wonderful, and the thought of being surrounded by a group of our closest confidants makes us warm and fuzzy, but truthfully, maintaining relationships can be challenging to say the least. I am a blessed woman who is surrounded by friends, some of those relationships dating back as far as grade school. But the truth is, all of the memories I have shared with my homies are not just giggles and hugs. Some of those partnerships have been more like the love shared between a dog and a cat. Relationships are difficult, so most people just give up, order take out, then go home and watch “Friends,” dreaming they had a close group of buddies like they see on TV. But if you press through the hard times, relationships also are the most rewarding part of life. To laugh with a buddy who just tripped over the curb and fell into the mud, or cry with a pal who just lost her iguana, feelings are meant to be shared, and the only way to do that is to be a friend. Some people are socially awkward. Well, I am here to help those folks. One of the first lessons we need to learn if we are to be a good friend is you have to be able to have an interesting conversation. You must be well-versed on topics that are interesting to others. There also are topics you should try and avoid at all costs. Here is a brief list of things that you shouldn’t talk about, no matter how close you are: 1. Who makes more money — unless one of you is Donald Trump. In that case, we already know we are not in his league so we want to live vicariously through his stories of lavish spending. 2. Sex. I don’t care if you just read “50 Shades of Grey” and you spent the last week at the chiropractor after trying some of the moves in the book, don’t share the details or
every time you sit down to dinner your friends will be getting a visual of your escapades. The “no sex” rule includes asking your friend who is having trouble conceiving if her husband’s “swimmers” are tired. That can only be asked by a doctor. 3. Rashes. No matter where the rash is located or how benign it is, a person cannot help but think it’s contagious. The rest of the evening your friend will be concentrating more on your scabbing and oozing than the movie you went to see, as she will be convinced that it may be an undiagnosed case of leprosy. She surely doesn’t want you to pass it to her. 4. Weight GAIN. (Please notice my emphasis on gain, as weight LOSS can be discussed at any time.) The best way to tick off a friend is to say, “Are you carrying hams in your britches or has your butt gotten bigger?” Yep, conversation breaker. 5. Anything done in the restroom. The restroom is kinda like Vegas. What goes on there, stays there. 6. Who in your circle of friends you find the most attractive, and who you would ever want to date if both of your spouses died. This conversation may look funny on a sitcom, but in real life it doesn’t make anyone happy. Well, except for the person that everyone in the group seems to find the most appealing. Let me add to this one, if you ever kissed another member of your inner circle, never, EVER, share that. You may walk away from the conversation unscathed, but your fellow “kissee” might have to sleep with one eye open for the next week. So that is my personal list. When I asked my hubby if there were any subjects that were off limits to men, he said, “Nope. Men are brutally honest. We just say what we think.” Shocking revelation to me, as I always feel women have so many things we avoid saying, it’s miracle we can talk at all.
| Josephine magazine |
Friendship 101 There are rules if you want to keep your pals
STACEY MOLLUS is a humor columnist who believes laughter is the best form of exercise and happy people are the best looking people. She loves her family, chocolate, clothes that are stretchy and things that sparkle. You can contact her at email@example.com or follow her on Facebook at “Queen of Chocolates.”
love coffee. Anyone in my kitchen notices the espresso machine, the coffee beans from Italy, the press pots from France … you get the idea. So, of course, many of my favorite recipes include coffee.
Tiramisu A great favorite is this version of tiramisu, the Italian combo of mascarpone cheese, strong coffee, ladyfingers and chocolate. Besides being absolutely delicious, it is a great make-ahead dessert since it is better the next day and will keep for two to three days. A single caveat: You do need to start it a day ahead for the best results. I make this recipe in a 9x13-inch dish (it’s easier to serve), however you can make it in a trifle dish if you like the look. 10 ounces semisweet chocolate (use a good quality, it makes a difference) 2 cups heavy cream 8 ounces mascarpone 1/3 cup coffee-flavored liqueur 2 cups espresso or very strong brewed coffee, cooled 42 to 50 ladyfingers, depending on what serving dish you use Confectioner’s sugar Start the recipe by chopping 8 ounces of the chocolate and placing it in a large bowl. Bring the cream to a simmer, pour over the chocolate, let sit for about one minute, then whisk until the chocolate is melted. Whisk in the mascarpone and strain into a bowl big enough to whip mixture the next day. Cover and refrigerate overnight. If you are in a real bind, you can chill this for six to seven hours, then proceed, but overnight seems to work best. The next day, whip until slightly 30
fluffy and slightly thickened. Keep refrigerated until needed. Combine coffee liqueur and espresso in shallow dish. Pick up one lady finger, dip in coffee mixture for about 10 seconds. Place in serving dish. Repeat until you have one layer. Try to keep the ladyfingers wet on the outside but unsoaked in the center. Spread one half of the chocolate mixture over the soaked ladyfingers. Repeat, making one more complete layer of ladyfingers, topped with the chocolate mixture. Take the remaining two ounces of chocolate, shave over the top, cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. To serve, sprinkle with confectioner’s sugar, serve cold in large spoonfuls. Coffee glaze Sometimes all you need is a quick glaze or sauce to dress up a store-bought pound cake. Make this quick glaze or the coffee sauce and add it to ice cream (I use coffee flavored, nuts, etc.) and you have an excellent dessert. 3 tablespoons espresso or strong coffee 1¼ cups confectioner’s sugar Mix together and that’s it!
Coffee Sauce LONNIE GANDARA TAYLOR is a St. Joseph native
Melt some premium coffee ice cream and add splash of dark rum.
who has returned home after a pres-
Thai Iced Coffee
tigious career in the culinary field.
While attending cooking school in Bangkok, I drank a lot of this. Extremely refreshing and certainly easy enough to make, it is a terrific ending to any Asian meal. 1/4 cup strong dark roast coffee
She taught cooking classes in the San Francisco Bay area for years and was a professional assistant to Julia Child, James Beard, Martha Stewart, Simone Beck and Martin Yan, among others.
1/2 cup boiling water
She is a graduate of the Paris Cordon
2 teaspoons sweetened condensed milk
Bleu, the Academie du Vin in Paris
Oriental hotel in Bangkok, as well as
and the first culinary class held in the being the author of five cookbooks.
Combine coffee, boiling water and milk, stir until blended. Pour into two tall glasses filled with ice cubes.
| Josephine magazine |
2013 january area events
9:45 a.m. (weigh-in at 8:30), TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) a non-profit, weightloss support and education group, East Hills Church of Christ, 3912 Penn St., 232-6858. 5:15 p.m. to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.
7 to 9 p.m., St. Joseph Camera Club, Rolling Hills Consolidated Library.
3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
10:30 a.m., 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 6 p.m., knitting classes, Keeping Good Company, $20 for four weeks, call 364-4799. 7:30 p.m. to 8:15 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.
6:30 p.m., Pony Express Chapter of ABWA meeting. To find out more and to make reservations, please call Vickie at (816) 244-5648 the Friday before the meeting.
7 a.m., Farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village. 7:30 a.m., St. Joseph BNI weekly meeting, Pony Express Museum. Call 262-9684. 5:15 to 6 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.
10:30 a.m., 3 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 6 p.m., knitting classes, Keeping Good Company, $20 for four weeks, call 364-4799. 6:45 to 7:30 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 6711133, $3 a class.
5 to 8 p.m., Friday Night Wine Tastings, Smooth Endings Fine Wines, Spirits and Cigars, corner of Belt and Beck, (816) 749-4WINE, $5 per person.
5:30 p.m., Third Thursday Wine Tasting, Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art. Cost is $10 per person. Call 2329750.
6:30 p.m., St. Joseph Aglow Community Lighthouse, St. Joseph Library at East Hills. Call 351-2139.
10 a.m., Welcome Wagon Social Club of St. Joseph, general meeting, Rolling Hills Library, 1904 N. Belt Highway. For additional information, go to www.stjomowelcome wagon.com. 3 p.m. and 7 p.m., Young Living Essential Oils presents free natural health seminar, 1570 Calhoun St., Chillicothe, Mo. Call (660) 707-0097 or e-mail millergloria@att. net. 7 p.m., Introductory session to Creighton Model Fertility Awareness and Appreciation, Heartland Medical Plaza. Course is designed to help couples cooperate with their fertility in family planning. Call 2322258.
| Josephine magazine |
7 a.m., Farmer’s market, 3821 Eastridge Village. 9 to 9:45 p.m., Cardio Fit Boxing, Monroe’s ATA, 106 S. Belt Highway, 671-1133, $3 a class.
2013 Pound Plunge Participant
Get the ball rolling. Heartland Health Presents the K-JO 105.5 Pound Plunge Siince SSince i e 2006, 2 20 200 0 00 0 12,000 06 06, 12 2 000 2,0 000 people peopl eople eopl e in in St. SStt. t Joseph Jose Jo Jose osseph ep e p ph h have ha hav ave e taken t ken the Pound Plunge take P Pllu lunge llun un u n and an lost ostt over ov 80,000 pounds. SSo a add d your yo r name nam n am me m e to o the listt and a an nd n d move movve ve towards tow ttoward rd ds a healthier d healt ealttthier lifestyle y in n 2013. 2013 201 20 3.. Who 2 Who knows? You might eve ev vven en win wi w some som me m e great g gr prizes izes too. ize to too o. even prizes Deadline Dead dline for registration registrat gistra attion is January anu nua uarry 6, 6 2013.
Register now at TakeThePoundPlunge.com.
8.375 x 10.75
8.675 x 11.125
11/9/12 2:25 PM
Published on Dec 25, 2012