Sonoma Family Life Magazine December 2013 digital

sonoma December 2013

Ultimate Guide to the

Holidays Guide to Local

Christmas Lights 73 Best Ideas for Fun

Critical Questions:

Boys, Toys & Guns

copperfieldsbooks.com

PETALUMA • SANTA ROSA • SEBASTOPOL • HEALDSBURG • CALISTOGA • NAPA • SAN RAFAEL

December 2013

Feature Stories 10 Boys Toys Guns

10

What Parents Must Know Now.

15 Ultimate Guide to Christmas Lights Bundle up and head on out to enjoy these amazing displays created by our neighbors!

16 Five 3D Printers How to purchase the perfect 3D printer.

18 Creating Light in the Dark Make a lantern with your child and light up the night.

20 10 Ways To Keep The Hush In Your Holiday Rush Great ideas to keep you calm and joyful during a potentially stressful season.

16

22 Good Holiday Ex-Etiquette Keep the holidays happy even while dealing with your ex.

28 Twinkling Tractors & Lighted Snowmen Holiday festivities that will make even the biggest Grinch’s heart grow three times its size.

Every Issue

15 4 SonomaFamilyLife

24 Calendar of Events The Fabulous Women Festival of Trees

6

Dear Readers

7

It Figures

8

Bits and Pieces

From Burritos to Beautiful

30 Sonoma County Celebrates Hanukkah

The Baking Around the World Cookbook

38 Market Place

December is Learn a Foreign Language Month

42 Humor

SonomaFamilyLife.com December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 5

Dear Reader

Sharon Gowan Publisher/Editor Sharon@family-life.us

Welcome to the Ultimate Guide to the Holidays! You’ll discover some great events, activities and ideas to make your holidays less stressful, and more festive, joyful and fun!

Want to know more late breaking events and news? Sign up for our enewsletter to get our editor’s picks for weekend family fun?

useful information here that can help keep your family safe.

It’s a strange juxtaposition, I suppose: toy replica guns; peace, joy and goodwill.

As all of our staff here have worked on this final 2013 issue, we couldn’t help but think of all that 2013 has brought us; monthly issues, weekly enewsletters, community events. And the wonderful opportunities that we’ve had to connect with you, from on facebook to face-to-face community events.

Office Manager Patricia Ramos patty@family-life.us

Business Marketing

There are some more changes to health care, coming. Get signed up ASAP, especially if you qualify for subsidies or support. That can start as early as January.

And we can’t help but feel blessed and honored to have been welcomed into your family home. You’ve entrusted us with your email, relied on us for help and guidance, and shared your thoughts and ideas. You keep us informed, connected and smiling.

The joy and warmth of the holiday season is tempered this year, in the wake of 14-year old Andy Lopez’s death, who was killed when a police office mistook his replica gun for a real assault rifle.

Our grass roots family magazine is first and foremost a community magazine that thrives because of your support, and we are honored and thankful. And there’s nothing we like better than hearing from you.

Karlon Baker karlon@family-life.us

Features Editor

Since then, parents have been asking important thought-provoking questions, and interesting approaches. We have collected them here in hopes that there may be some

All of us here at Family Life wish you and your family the most wonderful holidays. And a happy healthy New Year.

Production Manager

Jolie Cook jolie@family-life.us Renee Nutcher renee@family-life.us

Ann Ingraham ann@family-life.us Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

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Jordan Lewis jordan@family-life.us

Contributing Writers Jordan Lewis Christina Katz Denise Yearian Bull Garlington Cynthia Washam

Calendar Anna Freeman

Billing Jan Wasson-Smith

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entities producing more than 4 cubic yards of commercial solid waste per week and multifamily dwellings of 5 units or more.

6 SonomaFamilyLife

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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Holiday Hodgepodge

More than Number of homes Santa

800

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AREA RUSSIAN RIVER Guerneville Monte Rio Forestville Rio Nido Graton Sebastopol Santa Rosa

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46 27 1962 2004 1 Million $

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Average amount pet owners spend on Christmas gifts for their four-legged friends.

Find your trip.

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44 46 48

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RUSSIAN RIVER AREA LOCAL Guerneville Downtown Neeley Road Occidental d Park Guernewoo Mills Duncans

SSU SANTA ROSA Sonoma State Santa Rosa University Transit Mall

PETALUMA SANTA ROSA Petaluma Cotati Rohnert Park Santa Rosa

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December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

The Baking Around the World Cookbook

Y From Burritos to Beautiful

M

arla Pedersen, an art teacher at St. Vincent de Paul High School, and her group of students called the “Art Angels” are working on transforming the former Cotija restaurant (a former gas station) into a work of public art. The group is painting a mural on the decaying space and transforming it into a beautiful celebration of peace and Petaluma. They will be writing their slogan, “Be the change you want to see in the world,” and painting scenes from historic Petaluma They will also be decorating the space with peace flags and surrounding it with succulents.

Marla said, “I started the club as a way for students to participate in art and be involved in meaningful community service. There are some students that don’t have room in their schedule for art class, but are now a part of the club.”

Marla lives across the street from the old gas station and thought that getting her club involved with making it beautiful would be perfect. Marla said her “Art Angels” are “an amazing group of students.” One student is designing an “anonymous love letters” area on the property with a vintage mailbox where you can leave or take a love letter.

Marla has also been inspired by community support for the project.

Volunteers from the business community have donated paint and painting supplies and gone out of their way to volunteer and be generous and encouraging. She welcomes all interested in helping to transform a forgotten corner of Petaluma into a beautiful space to donate succulents to surround the space.

For more information, or to donate contact Marla Pedersen at mpedersen@svhs-pet.org. ¶

8 SonomaFamilyLife

vette Garfield came up with the idea for her cookbook company, Handstand Kids, on a long flight back from India. She wanted to bring back cookbooks for her young cousins, but couldn’t find any for children.

Upon returning to the U.S., she figured out how to introduce children to international foods in a fun and hands-on way.

Garfield created her company to produce international cookbooks and cooking accessories for kids.

Her Baking Around the World Cookbook Kit, is just what the kids need when whipping up a special treat for Santa. This set features creative international recipes and comes with essential tools including silicone baking cups and a child-friendly whisk.

Garfield is also an activist in the international children's rights world.

This has inspired her to create products that speak to a child's creativity and curiosity, while encouraging them to give back to others in need. In addition to teaching kids how to make delicious international foods, each cookbook introduces its readers to a different charity and shows them how to use their new skills to help others. Go to handstandkids.com for more information. ¶

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Bits & Pieces

December is Learn a Foreign Language Month

T

he popularity of the children’s animated television shows Ni Hao, Kai-Lan (introducing Mandarin Chinese) and Dora The Explorer (introducing Spanish) confirm that parents want to introduce foreign languages to their young children.

Experts agree that learning a foreign language shouldn’t be put off until middle school the way it used to be. Children acquire language more easily and naturally when it is introduced as early as age three. Learning a foreign language is also a 21st Century skill, more critical than ever in an increasingly global society and children that learn a foreign language in early childhood increase their critical thinking skills, creativity, and flexibility of mind.

In Sonoma County there are many options for introducing young children to foreign languages. There are language schools with fun, musical, interactive classes for babies and toddlers to be introduced to foreign languages. And there are Spanish-English dual immersion elementary charter schools throughout the county and a French-English dual-immersion elementary school in Santa Rosa. In addition, more and more schools in the county are offering international baccalaureate programs that prepare students to work in a global society. Está muy bien! ¶

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SonomaFamilyLife 9

Critical Questions

Boys Toys & Guns

I

t was a late summer afternoon in 1995 when that emergency

call came in to 911. A frightened

homeowner had spotted a number of men with a lot of guns sneaking

through the creek bed near Brush

Creek in Santa Rosa. As new police officer, recently married, I was part of over a dozen officers dispatched to the scene. We staged our squad cars some distance away and slipped into the brush, guns drawn and ready to fire.

We caught glimpses of assault rifles and high powered hand guns, even grenades.

“Police. You’re surrounded. Drop your weapons now!”

10 SonomaFamilyLife

When the young men in the creek bed near Brush Creek dropped their weapons, we were able to get closer. Only when we had collected the weapons could we tell they were replicas. It was a very dangerous situation.

So Why Are Kids So Into Guns Anyway?

They see guns in their world in places we adults don’t even notice them, such as TV, ads, movie posters, books, friends’ play, video games, and so on. Children want to imitate or act out what they see in order to process it. This is very normal. Children have been doing this as long as they have had sticks to play with.

Researchers suggest that good guys versus bad guys battle play is how boys explore justice and injustice, power and responsibility.

creek bed, moving quietly among the

Finally we were in position.

Across the country and in our own back yards, kids with realistic replica guns cross paths with officers, sometimes with deadly consequences. In the wake of the tragic death of Andy Lopez, parents are wondering how to handle an interest in guns in the context of their family’s values, and keep everyone safe. Even the best parenting can’t eliminate every risk for our children. But understanding the basis for aggressive play, the magnetic appeal of guns, and the social aspect of toy gun play, can help families navigate what may prove to be life-or-death decisions.

Recent Stanford University Medical Center research found that aggressive, action-oriented video games activate the reward center in men’s brains much more than in women’s, which likely explains boys’ and men’s propensity for risky, action-oriented behavior, and the attraction to gun play.

And why Moms have a harder time understanding this appeal than dads do. .

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Is Gun Play OK?

Shooting Games: Tweens and Teens

5

How realistic can the guns look?

Squirt Guns? Nerf Guns? Star Wars shooters? Airsoft ‘replica’ guns?

For many parents, it depends.

Consider these questions to help craft your family’s approach to this evolving, complex issue.

Captain Craig Schwartz of the Santa Rosa Police Department points out that it can be difficult for trained professionals to distinguish between real guns and replicas. “We regularly see replicas used in crimes, or with criminal intent, like to intimidate victims. We have also seen real guns painted bright colors to make them look like toys. If it’s hard for professionals to determine, it may be impossible for a kid to know the difference.”

1

Are toy guns ok?

Some parents prefer no guns, period. If their kids want to play cops and robbers they can use sticks. But often parents report that banning guns has been less effective than they had hoped.

2

Can toy guns be pointed at a person? This is an interesting question, because two polar opposite groups of parents agree. Anti-gun parents and hunter-parents are united on this one: no gun should ever be pointed at a person, even toy guns.

3

What if you’re in a game?

Maybe it’s cops and robbers, Star Wars Storm Troopers, or war games. Some say, “Yes, as long as they’re in the game. But as soon as someone doesn’t want to be in the game, the game stops.”

4

How much exposure to gun violence will you allow?

According to Common Sense Media, by the time your youngster is 10, he will have seen an estimated 100,000 murders on TV. By the time he graduates high school that number will have doubled. And it doesn’t include interactive first-person shooter games, where the gamer is pulling the trigger.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

6

Do you know the laws?

San Francisco has outlawed Airsoft guns, as have New York, Chicago, Washington, DC, and Arkansas. California has set a minimum age of 18 years to use or sell Airsoft weapons, unless parents have approved. Federal law makes no distinction between brandishing a replica gun or a real gun: the criminal charge and potential jail time are the same.

Recently, during an otherwise peaceful protest, a known gang member stood on a street corner in Santa Rosa, showing what looked like a real gun to passing motorists. The gun was made of metal, with the same weight, and all the working controls of a real gun. It was intended to look and feel exactly like the real thing, an HK USP Compact duty gun issued to police officers. He was arrested.

7

How will the replica gun be transported? Federal law requires that all Airsoft guns transported in the US must display a 6mm-wide orange plastic tip on the barrel. But experts say this may not always help police officers recognize it as a replica. “Depending on where the gun is pointed, and the lighting, and the speed that an event is happening, the orange tip may not be seen,” says Schwartz.

8

Are war games with replica guns allowed? War games should be played in enclosed, non-public spaces. In September, two 7th-graders in Virginia were given long-term suspensions from school for playing with green Zombie Hunter (non-realistic Airsoft guns) in their front yard, even though they were on private property, because their game was too close to the school bus stop.

One law enforcement expert regularly reminds his son exactly what to do if an officer ever orders him to drop a replica weapon: “Drop it. Don’t do anything but put your hands straight up, with your fingers spread, and say loudly, ‘It’s a toy!’

Don’t try to show it, turn, explain or move at all.”

December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 11

9

Could someone outside of a game think it’s real? If so, the players should make other plans, or at least inform neighbors what they’re doing,” says Schwartz.

10

Can they post pictures of their war games online?

Does everyone playing follow this rule, too?

11

Do you see toy guns as an opportunity to teach “real gun” safety? You may want to teach younger children these four safety rules if they see a real gun: 1) Stop. 2) Don’t Touch. 3) Leave the Area. 4) Tell an Adult.

However, parents should realize that teaching these four steps

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doesn’t ensure that they will be followed. In a recent study, 90% of parents underestimated their child’s interest in and attraction to real guns. That’s a critical piece of information, since one out of every three homes with a child has a real gun. A majority of these homes store guns and ammo safely, but 40% have an unlocked and loaded gun. Most parents think that their children don’t know where they hide the gun, but 8 out of 10 first-graders say they do know. According to the American Pediatrics Association, the best way to protect children from gun accidents is to remove all guns from the home.

12

How will you know if your teen becomes curious about real guns? This is an area that is much more difficult for parents who are uncomfortable with guns. As with driving and sex education, you may prefer that your child get information from sources you approve rather than leave it to chance. Check with the local Park and Rec Department, Police Department, Boy Scouts, or shooting ranges. Is there a mentor who can answer questions? Captain Schwartz suggests that junior high students in the Santa Rosa City Schools can ask the SRPD officer assigned to their school.

Use these questions as a starting point to define an approach that melds reality, your family’s values, and the safety of all our children. ¶

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

sonoma presents…

i Learn Fair What Do You Want To Learn?

Celebrate what interests, inspires and engages! Discover new ideas, passions, creative opportunities and resources.

Meet local experts for answers!

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Ultimate Guide to Local

Christmas Lights

B

undle up and head on out to enjoy these amazing displays created by our neighbors!

Add your favorite holiday display to our growing online list at SonomaFamilyLIfe. com and share with your friends!

Santa Rosa

2240 Valley West Drive, Santa Rosa

Rohnert Park

1190 Cielo Circle 1531 Maria Place 4412 Hamlet Court

2240 Valley West Dr. 309 Michael Drive 4481 Montecito Ave. 200 Arboleda Drive All of Walnut Street 1632 Jenna Place 1673 Hopper Ave. 2440 Valley West Dr. 571 Graymont Dr. 252 Brittain Lane

Petaluma

959 Emily Ave.

390 Albert Lane, Petaluma 1190 Cielo Circle, Rohnert Park

1201 San Juan Way 1907 Winchester Lane 1728 Capella Court 1602 Perseus Court 1622 Lancaster Drive 390 Albert Way 91 Wilmington Drive

Windsor 322 Alexis Way 1019 Ventana 530 Quince St.

322 Alexis Way, Windsor Reprinted with permission from http://CaliforniaChristmasLights.com

www.sonomafamilylife.com

December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 15

Take Family Fun to a Five Whole New Dimension

3D Printers

T

here is no greater gift than a gift that keeps on giving.

Three-dimensional printers are the future of personal manufacturing, allowing anyone to develop and produce nearly any three-dimensional object from his or her desktop. Make a doll or your own personalized Legos for your child; the possibilities are endless and only limited to your imagination. So give a gift this holiday season that allows someone to make something extraordinary.

There are six types of 3D printers available on the market but the most common for personal use are fused filament fabrication (FFF) printers. Fused filament fabrication heats up a plastic cord and squeezes it through a nozzle to create flat pieces that are layered in a pattern over and over on top of each other until it makes a three-dimensional object. When the plastic hardens, you have your masterpiece.

By Jordan Lewis

Pirate 3D – Buccaneer Building Space: 5” Quality of Printing: Decent Operating Systems: iPhone, Android, Mac, Windows, and Linux Software: Free, downloadable, and accepts standard 3D files Connectivity: Ethernet and WiFi Single Color Printing Price: $347

When buying a 3D printer, be aware of the following things: 1. Printer’s building space: The printer’s building space is where your three-dimensional objects are built. If you want to make larger objects, then you need a larger building space.

2. Quality of printing: Each 3D FFF printer has different types and sizes of nozzles that create a rough or smooth three-dimensional object.

3. Software: Some 3D printers come with their own proprietary software where others use an open-based software. Getting to know the software prior to purchase is always recommended, and it makes the whole 3D printing experience a lot more easy and fun.

4. Operating System: The typical interface with a 3D printer is through a computer and some 3D printers are compatible with certain operating systems.

Before you purchase a 3D printer make sure to find out if it can work with your computer.

5. Pricing: The price of a personal 3D printer can vary.

Typically price varies based on the speed of printing, the building space, quality of printing, quantity of colors that can be printed simultaneously, and the type of material being used to print.

16 SonomaFamilyLife

Solidoodle 3D Printer Building Space: 6” Quality of Printing: Decent Operating Systems: Mac, Windows, and Linux Software: Free, downloadable, and accepts standard 3D files Connectivity: USB Single Color Printing Upgradable Components Price: $499

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

MBot Cube Building Space: 7.8” Quality of Printing: Good Operating Systems: Mac, Windows, and Linux Software: Free, downloadable, and accepts standard 3D files Connectivity: SD card and USB Double Color Printing Price: $999

Type A Machines – Series 1 Building Space: 10” Quality of Printing: Great Operating Systems: Mac, Windows, and Linux Software: Free, downloadable, and accepts standard 3D files Connectivity: USB Triple Color Printing Upgradable Components Price: $1695

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Craf ts

Creating Light in the Dark D

uring this darkest time of year, creating and finding the light in the darkness is one of the most joyful things to do. Many Waldorf schools have lantern walks in celebration of the legend of St. Martin from France.

You can recreate this ritual with a group of friends in your own neighborhood by gathering to make lanterns and singing carols to your neighbors.

Martin was a young man who passed under an archway in the city of Amiens and found a destitute beggar there. Martin tore his own cape in half to cover and warm the beggar. After a dream the following night, Martin was convinced he was to devote his life in service of all humankind and became the patron saint of beggars and outcasts. A gentle and unassuming man, he brought light and warmth to all those whose lives he touched.

Lantern directions shared by Jane McCoy, the owner and preschool teacher at Singing Winds Playgarden in Novato. singingwindsplaygarden.com.

18 SonomaFamilyLife

Zander Cunningham

Supplies 2 pieces of 11x17 inch watercolor paper watercolors • scissors • craft knife craft glue • tin foil • hole punch thin bendable “starry” wire

Make Your Own Paper Lantern To make the top of the lantern.

1. First have your child paint an 11x17” piece of watercolor paper. You may want to tell him or her a seasonal story to prompt their own ideas. Watercolor paper can be too big for a lantern. So once it is dry, cut it down to a piece about seven inches high and seventeen inches long.

2. Cut out shapes (stars, moons, etc.) on paper using a craft knife. Not too big!

3. Glue squares of tissue paper over the shapes.

4. Now roll the paper (with glued side of tissue paper inside) and glue it into a long tube shape.

To make the bottom of the lantern.

1. Get another piece of watercolor paper. Place the glued top of the lantern on the paper and trace around the bottom of the tube and then, this is important, draw a circle around that about one inch bigger. Cut out the “bottom” following the bigger circle.

2. Cut little tabs into the circle up to the inner, smaller circle line. Do this all around the circle. Fold tabs up. This will now become the bottom of the lantern.

Place a generous amount of glue on the lower, inner section of the lantern tube, not on the tabs.

3. Now from the top of the lantern tube (it’s easier to go from top to bottom) insert this circular tabbed “bottom” until the tabs press up against the glued inside of the tube (this can be tricky the first time you do it, but you will soon figure out how to get the tabs to stick). Press and smooth until all tabs are securely glued on to the lantern and let dry.

4. Attach a handle (starry wire sold at most craft stores) by making holes with a hole punch and attaching wire.

5. Tape an electric tea light to the bottom of the lantern. Enjoy lighting up the night!

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

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SonomaFamilyLife 19

10

Ways To Keep The

Hush Rush In Your Holiday

By Christina Katz

A

re you excited about the holidays but dreading the end-of-year rush? If so, you are not alone. Most parents approach the season with equal parts excitement and trepidation, which can lead to difficulties with decision-making from moment to moment. That’s why I’ve created this list of ten reminders to help you preserve your family’s good cheer all the way through the most wonderful time of the year.

1

Go For Good Enough. If you have an idea in your mind of the “perfect” holiday, you may be disappointed when your imperfect brood can’t uphold your image. Aim for “good enough” instead. You’ll smile more if you can let unimportant 20 SonomaFamilyLife

things—like slightly burnt cookies, lights that won’t blink in unison, and late holiday cards—slide.

2

Just Hit Delete. If you think your holiday schedule is grossly overloaded, call a family meeting and vote on what to scratch off your joint to-do list. Decide what you don’t want to do, first. Then decide what matters most to each family member. A one-gift-per-familymember tradition might be a sanity-saving plan that sticks.

3

Call In Fresh Recruits.

Even if you don’t normally hire a housecleaner, you probably could use some help now.

Why not call in a cleaning service in mid-December and in mid-January to

bookend the holidays, even if you don’t use one the rest of the year? Consider it a holiday present to yourself.

4

Hum Your Favorite Tunes. Haul out your seasonal music early before you tire of the omnipresent muzak that is sure to come. Load up your smart phone or iPod and carry headphones in your purse to jolly things up when you are ticking chores and errands off your to-do list. If your old faves are getting overplayed, jazz up your playlist with some fresh downloads or albums. (See sidebar.)

5

Shop The Plan. First, the plan: write down the names of everyone you truly want to give to and what you think they would like.

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Then, shop: keep the list in your wallet to jog your memory when hunting down a gift for each person you cherish. For store shopping, pay cash, so you won’t overspend. For online shopping, search for coupons before ordering and act early for cheaper shipping.

6

Sip Your Way To Heaven.

When you are having a hectic day, take a time-out. Warm up or buy an extra-hot cup of chai tea with a spritz of whipped cream on top.

The spices will put you back in touch with your senses and the warmth will spread through your belly and soothe your frazzled cheer.

7

Get Bazaar. Take the whole family to a local holiday craft bazaar. Look for gifts for teachers and other folks who enrich your family life. Give each child a spending limit and enjoy interacting with the vendors. Plan to spend a couple of hours browsing, so you can soak up all the creative energy.

8

Take Thirty. Line up winter reads from the library or download them onto your e-reader. Encourage the whole family to take thirty minutes a day to relax and read. Collections of short stories or essays are good choices for moms with very young or multiple children.

This is a great way for everyone to decompress after a busy day.

9

Bring Mother Nature Inside. Pine cones, holly, evergreen boughs, twigs, and poinsettias all remind us that there is life hibernating underneath that blanket of snow or wicked frost.

Gather reminders of the season from your backyard or local garden shop and decorate the front hall, mantle, and stairway. Remember: simple is as merry as ornate.

10

Huggy Holidays.

Use “Happy Holidays!” as an excuse to hug your loved ones often. Every time you feel stressed, hug or get hugged. Your holiday stress will melt away. ¶

Hark! These Holiday Tunes Sing!

Cool Yule by Bette Midler A Christmas Cornucopia

by Annie Lenox

A Lovely Way To Spend Christmas by Kristin Chenoweth Holly Jolly Kids Tunes

O Holy Night

by Jackie Evancho

A Green and Red Christmas, The Muppets

And Winter Came by Enya

The Christmas Album, Glee

James Taylor at Christmas

by James Taylor

Under The Mistletoe, Justin Bieber

A Swinging Christmas, Featuring The Count Basie Band by Tony Bennett

Seasons Greeetings: A Jersey Boys Christmas

Classic Christmas Album by Tony Bennett

www.sonomafamilylife.com

NEW LAW AFFECTS PERSONAL BELIEF EXEMPTIONS Beginning January 2014

Required: benefits and risk counseling session with a health care provider prior to school enrollment

707-565-4573 www.sonoma-county.org\schools

Charlie Brown Christmas Album

December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 21

Good Holiday Ex-Etiquette

10 Tips to Peaceful Solutions

By Denise Yearian

W

hen a family is fractured by divorce, it creates added stress during the holidays with regard to child visitation, gift giving, and attending children’s programs.

But it doesn’t have to. If parents will let go of their differences and focus on communication, cooperation, and compromise, the season can be a little less stressful for everyone. Here are ten tips to help:

1

Pursue the big picture.

Although you and your ex may have past disappointments and present disagreements, set aside negative thoughts and feelings for your child. Look, instead, at the bigger picture and consider how it will affect him in the long run.

Don’t think, “What do I need?”

Think, “What does my child need to have a good holiday?”

22 SonomaFamilyLife

2

Communicate and cooperate. Establish a good working relationship with your ex on behalf of your child.

You don’t have to be buddies, but you do need to be team players.

Talk early in the season about how you are going to handle special days and events. Create a schedule for visitations and be respectful of your ex’s time with your child.

When transitioning from home to home, arrive on time and keep goodbyes short to avoid extra stress. If, in the planning stages, the conversation gets heated, stop and arrange another time to talk.

Equally important, do your own communicating; avoid making your child the messenger.

3

Call for a compromise.

Discuss with your ex items your child has asked for with regard to gifts, and look for ways to compromise so you can both participate in giving those “prized possessions.” Avoid competing for your child’s affections when buying gifts. Focus your efforts on quality time rather than quantity of gifts.

4

Be gracious with gift exchanges. Helping your child make or choose a gift for his other biological parent models thoughtful, generous behavior you ultimately want to see displayed in him. In high-conflict situations, however, participating in these gift-giving endeavors may be too difficult. If so, don’t deny your

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

child this privilege; find a neutral adult who will step in and help.

5

Extend courtesies to relatives. Recognize the importance of your child’s relationship with extended relatives on both sides of the family. Keep grandparents and other family members central in his life during the holiday season.

6

Partner for programs.

Holiday concerts, plays, and other programs are a time to celebrate your child’s accomplishments, so it’s important for both parents to be in attendance.

You don’t have to sit together, but you should be cordial and courteous to one another. Come with other family members or attend alone; this is not

Michael Hamblin, DDS Family and Cosmetic Dentistry

Resources for Parents Books •Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior after a Divorce or Separation by Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe •Families Apart: Ten Keys to Successful Co-Parenting by Melinda Blau •Healing Hearts: Helping Children and Adults Recover from Divorce by Elizabeth Hickey •Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child by Isolina Ricci •Stepwives: Ten Steps to Help Ex-wives and Stepmothers End the Struggle and Put the Kids First

by Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood and Louise Oxhorn with Marjorie Vego Krausz.

Websites •bonusfamilies.com.

•divorcecare.com.

•successfulstepfamily.com.

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the time to introduce casual dates.

Each parent should also be given time alone to interact with your child. For example, coordinate schedules so one parent takes him to the event and the other brings him home.

7

Set clear expectations.

When parents of young children who have recently separated are willing to come together peacefully during the holidays, it gives their children the opportunity to experience the celebration as an intact family. If you decide to go this route, set clear expectations and communicate them to your child so he doesn’t misunderstand and think you are permanently reuniting. It can be confusing for a child, who

24 SonomaFamilyLife

may already be dealing with a reconciliation fantasy. Keep the time together fun, easy, and stress-free. Focus on your child, not on the relationship with your ex.

8

Be a sounding board.

Give your child the opportunity to discuss past holidays, if he desires. Most kids grieve the loss of an intact family with every holiday and at each stage in life. Be sensitive to this and keep an open line of communication so he can freely share his thoughts and feelings.

9

Be reasonable. The first few years after a separation and divorce can be the hardest time to enjoy the holidays.

Don’t expect things to be perfect.

Create a few new traditions and bear in mind it takes time to heal wounds and adjust to a new family unit.

10

Set the stage for the future. Bear in mind you are in this parenting partnership for the long haul. There will be graduations, weddings, grandkids—even great grandkids. So set the stage now for a good relationship with you ex in the future. And remember, the best gift you can give your child is your unconditional love and acceptance and the freedom to express love to his other parent. ¶

Denise Yearian is a former educator and editor of two parenting magazines, whose personal experience prompted her to write this story.

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Dr. Robert K. Meckstroth has more than 20 years experience in cosmetic dentistry as well as a wide range of dental services.

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December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 25

December Calendar of Events The Fabulous Women Festival of Trees

T

he Fabulous Women Festival of Trees Charity Auction offers beautiful trees displaying magical themes decorated by local businesses and charity groups. The trees will be on display on Petaluma Boulevard South, across from the movie theater in Petaluma on December 7th, 13th, and 14th from 6 to 9:30 p.m.

Come stroll through the enchanted forest, bid on one-of-kind trees to support a needy family, create crafts in Santa’s Workshop, enjoy delicious s’mores at an outdoor cafe, get family portraits with Victoria Webb, dance along to Petaluma Pete, and visit with Santa. Come enjoy this festive Petaluma family tradition! ¶

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Wednesday to Sunday 10am - 5pm ph: 707-634-6140 email: circleofhands@sonic.net

6780 McKinley Ave. #120 at the BARLOW www.circleofhandswaldorfshop.com

26 SonomaFamilyLife

Mondays 4-6: Youth Climbers Club. Ages 10-17. 3 Seasons / Year. Non-competitive, building skills & technique. Club members can advance to the competitive teams from here, if they are interested.

Fridays 4-6: Mini-Monkeys. Ages 5-9. 3 Seasons / Year. Non-competitive, Perfect for very young kids.

Monkeys can eventually advance to the competitive teams from here, if they are interested.

Wednesdays 4-6 & Saturdays 10-12: Vertical Vipers. Ages 7-17. 3 Seasons / Year. Competitive Team.

Emphasis on intermediate skill development and training.

Thursdays 4-6 & Saturdays 3-6 + Monday Training 4-5: Team Vertex. Ages 7-17. 3 Seasons / Year. Competitive Team. Emphasis on advanced skill development and training.

707-573-1608

greatclips.com

12/31/13

Rohnert Park: 360 Rohnert Park Expressway Santa Rosa: Coddingtown Mall 750 Farmers Ln. (by Ross) 2240 Mendocino Ave. (by Safeway) 750 Stony Pt. Rd. (by Starbucks) 1425 Fulton Rd. (by Raley’s) 2700 Yulupa Ave. (by CVS) Windsor: 9018 Brooks Rd. (by Mary’s Pizza) Healdsburg: 1017 Vineyard Plaza NOW OPEN Sonoma: 19217 Sonoma Hwy. (Maxwell Village Center) Terra Linda: Northgate One Shopping Center

Check in online at Greatclips.com or with your smart phone app.

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

1 Sunday The Velveteen Rabbit. ODC

Dance company presents a story of love between a boy and his rabbit, powerfully told through narration, music, and dance. thru Dec. 15. $15 and up. Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. San Francisco. 415-978-2787. odcdance.org.

A Christmas Story. Follow 9-year-old

Le Cirque de Bohème. 1920’s

Ralphie Parker thru the nostalgic recollections of his grown up self thru Dec. 22. Thurs., Fri., Sat. 8 pm. & Sat., Sun., 2 pm. $15–$32.

6th Street Playhouse. 52 W. 6th St., Santa Rosa. 6thstreetplayhouse.com.

style circus will transport you into a magical dream filled with enchantment. Thru Dec. 2. 1 pm. and 3 pm. $25 adults. $15 under 16.

Cornerstone Sonoma. 23570 Arnold Dr., Sonoma. cornerstonesonoma.com.

Les Miserables. Classic

story of a man who breaks his parole after years of unjust imprisonment to start a new life. Dec. 1, 7 & 8. 2 pm. $10–$18. Burbank Auditorium.

Santa Rosa Junior College. santarosa.edu.

Winter Workshops

FREE Mark Perlman: A 25 Year

At the Charles M. Schulz Museum

Survey Exhibit. Upon his retirement,

SSU faculty member, Mark Perlman, shows the evolution of his work since 1988. thru Dec. 15. Tues.–Fri. 11 am–4 pm. Weekends Noon–4 pm. Sonoma State University Art Gallery. Rohnert Park. sonoma.edu.

December 14-January 3, 2014

call 707.284.1263 for reservations or visit: www.schulzmuseum.org/learn/classes-camps

Strike Out Hunger at Double Decker Lanes. Bring one can of food & receive one free game thru Jan. 31. Benefiting Redwood Empire Food Bank. 300 Golf Course Drive, Rohnert Park. doubledeckerlanes.com.

Great Dickens Christmas Fair. A

Victorian Christmas card come to life!

Three acres of delights thru Dec. 22.

Weekends. 10 am–7 pm. Ticket prices vary. Free under 5. Cow Palace. San Francisco. dickensfair.com.

Scrooge: the Musical. The

perfect holiday entertainment. Thurs., Fri., Sat. & Sun. thru Dec. 22. Various times. $26 adults, $24 senior & youth, $22 under 13. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. rpcity.org. www.sonomafamilylife.com

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SANTA ROSA 707 528 544 2147 5982

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December 2013

5/9/13 12:05 PM SonomaFamilyLife 27

Twinkling Tractors & Lighted Snowmen Petaluma Lights Up the Holidays. There’s holiday spirit in Petaluma on Saturday December 7th, starting with the downtown merchants annual Holiday Open House that includes carolers and horse and carriage rides from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. The Theatre District also hosts its Festival of Trees with decorated trees donated by local businesses and put up for auction to support local charities.

Whole Foods Market will have local vendors and staff offering DIY holiday gift ideas and local author Rachel Kaplan will be on hand from 1 to 4 p.m. to sign her book, Urban Homesteading. The day ends with the holiday lighted boat parade, a flotilla of decorated boats making a spectacular arrival at the Petaluma River Turning Basin, at 6:30. For more information, check out visitpetaluma.com.

Calistoga’s 18th Annual Tractor Parade. Calistoga’s Tractor Parade on December 7th at 7 p.m. is the ultimate small-town holiday celebration celebrating their agricultural heritage with vintage and modern tractors, antique trucks, and construction equipment bedecked with holiday lights parading down Main Street to celebrate the Christmas season. Carolers will be spreading cheer and Santa makes a special appearance. Check out visitcalistoga.com for more information.

Lighting of the Snowmen Festival. On December 8th beginning at 3 p.m. Cornerstone Gardens in Sonoma has its own unique spin on Christmas as they light up their snowmen sculptures. This free event also features a performance by the Sonoma Ballet Conservatory, live music by the Sean Carscadden Trio, pictures with Santa on the Big Blue Chair, classic holiday films in the Olive Grove Cinema, and a traditional German beer garden complete with men in lederhosen. Parking is $5 and will be donated to the Sonoma Valley Mentoring Alliance. For more information, check out cornerstonesonoma.com.

Santa Helicopter Fly In. On Saturday December 21st from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., the Pacific Coast Air Museum in Santa Rosa will display lighted aircrafts to climb aboard and offer bags of goodies for every child. There will also be jumpy houses for kids unmitigated fun and finally Santa will fly in on a Reach Helicopter. Go to pacificcoastairmuseum.org for more information or call 707-575-7900.

28 SonomaFamilyLife

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Annie! Leapin’

Lizards! The popular comic strip heroine takes center stage in one of the world’s best-loved musicals. Thru Dec. 15. Fri. & Sat. 7:30 pm. Sat. & Sun. 2 pm. $15 general. $10 under 22. Cinnabar Theater. 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. cinnabartheater.org.

Henri Matisse Exhibit. Thru

Sep. 7, 2014. Daily, except Mon. $6–$10. 12 & under free. Legion of Honor. San Francisco. famsf.org.

Opening celebration Dec. 6. Bring your letters for Santa! Music & snow nightly thru Dec. 31. Windsor Town Green. oldtownwindsor.com.

M. Schulz Museum. Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Safari West Open House Days.

Angelina Ballerina: The Musical.

Get a close-up look at the strange, exotic family that lives in our own neighborhood! 9 am. 11 am. 1 pm. 3 pm. Dec. 1 & Dec. 15. $25 adults.

One child, age 12 & under, free with each paying adult. 3115 Porter Creek Rd. Santa Rosa. safariwest.com.

Union Square Ice Rink. Winter

fun thru Jan. 20. 10 am–11:30 pm. $11. 8 & under $7. Skate rental $5. Union Square, San Francisco. unionsquareicerink.com.

FREE 5th Annual Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Grove. Tree

decorating & lighting Dec. 1–5.

2 Monday Museum Monday for Little Ones.

Enjoy movement games, art & craft activities, plus a movie. Ages 1–5. Every Monday. 10 am–Noon. $5 child, free for up to 2 adults per child (before 11 am). Charles

This Holiday Season at Real Goods...

Green Holiday Crafting Workshops

hosted by the Solar Living Institute

4 Wednesday Angelina will dance hip-hop, modern dance, the Irish jig, & of course, ballet. 6:30 pm. $21 adult. $16 child. Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. Santa Rosa. wellsfargocenterarts.org.

Meditation Group for Mothers.

Every Wed. 8:30–9:45 am. $10 suggested donation. Shambhala Center. 255 W. Napa St., Sonoma. sonoma.shambhala.org.

6 Friday Outdoor Ice Skating in Napa. Rock

the Rink Fridays. Family Night

S o l a r a n d G re e n L i v i n g S i n ce 1 9 7 8

HolidayShopping

Wine Tasting

November 23: 11am - Noon Seed Paper and Sun Pictures December 10: 11am - Noon Solar Baked Salt Dough December 11th: 11am - Noon Seed Paper and Sun Pictures December 12th: 11am - Noon Magazine Angels December 14th: 11am - Noon Sparkling CD Tree Ornaments

Eco-Friendly Toys & Games

Green Holiday Crafting workshops are open to all ages. Children seven years and older can be left working on the projects while parents enjoy holiday shopping and wine tasting onsite. Adult supervision is required for younger children. Each workshop is $5 dollars per child. Materials will be provided but children may bring brightly colored magazines, jar lids and old CD’s for the craft projects. Space is limited. Reservations required.

For reservations contact SLI at (707) 472-2460 or hannah.bird@solarliving.org

13771 S. Highway 101 - Hopland, CA 95449 - (707)472-2403 - www.realgoods.com/shop www.sonomafamilylife.com

December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 29

EXPIRES 12-31-13

20%OFF MINIFIG

STOCKING STUFFERS THE

BRICK HUTT LEGO® HOBBY SHOP

420 MENDOCINO, SANTA ROSA

SPRING HILL MONTESSORI A SCIENCE LAB ACADEMY

Tuesdays. 5,600 sq. feet of holiday skating fun thru Jan. 12. 11 am–9 pm. $12. Second & Coombs Streets, Napa. napaonice.com.

The Nutcracker Ballet. Tchaikovsky’s

most delightful musical creation. Fri. 7 pm. Sat. 2 pm & 7 pm. Sun. 2 pm. $25 adult, $20 children & seniors.

Spreckels Performing Arts Center.

Rohnert Park. rpcity.org.

Posada Navidena. Mexican Christmas celebration. Free pre-show arts & crafts & post-show celebration.

7 pm. $10 adults. $5 children. Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. Santa Rosa. wellsfargocenterarts.org.

FREE Soundscape Project Dance Performance. The

Toddler through Elementary SCIENCE • BILINGUAL PROGRAMS EXTENDED CARE

707-763-9222

www.SpringHillMontessori.org

BECOME A TEACHER!

recorded sights

& sounds of the SSU preserves expressed through a dance piece.

Noon. Weill Hall. Green Music Center. Sonoma State University. sonoma.edu/preserves.

FREE First Friday Night Sky. Stars,

constellations, planets of that night at SRJC Planetarium. Donations appreciated. 7 & 8:30 pm. Arrive early for free parking pass. Santa Rosa Junior College Planetarium.

Santa Rosa. santarosa.edu.

Holiday Sing-a-Long. Lagunitas

beer, wine, refreshments & music

by Love Choir & community bands. 6 pm. $10 adults. $5 under 18.

Sebastopol Community Center. 390 Morris St. seb.org.

Sonoma County Celebrates Hanukkah

C

elebrate Hanukkah in Sonoma County with a series of free events hosted by the Chabad Jewish Center.

“Light Up The Night” events will include lighting of a large menorah, hot latkes, dreidels, gelt, and more at 5 p.m. at the following locations: Sunday, December 1 Oakville Grocery 124 Matheson St., Healdsburg Monday, December 2 Whole Foods 201 W. Napa St., Sonoma Tuesday, December 3 Oliver’s Market 546 E. Cotati Ave., Cotati

Evening & Weekend Classes

Wednesday, December 4 Pacific Market 550 Gravenstein Hwy. N., Sebastopol For more information visit jewishsonoma.com or call 577.0277.

UKIAH CENTER 707-463-4800 Dominican.edu/Ukiah

30 SonomaFamilyLife

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

A Christmas Carol. Miserly

Ebenezer Scrooge is given a second change to live a good life thru Dec. 15. Fri. & Sat. 8 pm. Sun. 2 pm. $18 adults. $8 children. Cloverdale Performing Arts Center. 209 N. Cloverdale Blvd. cloverdaleperformingarts.com.

A Winnie the Pooh Christmas Tail.

Join the Pooh gang for a celebration of sharing & caring thru Dec. 23.

Sat. 11 am & 2 pm. Sun. 2 pm. $10 door. 2 & under free. Raven Performing Arts Theater. 116 North Street, Healdsburg. raventheater.org.

Family Night at Cal Skate. Music,

fun, games & prizes. Sat. 6–8:30 pm. $49 Family of four. Admission, skates, pizza. 6100 Commerce Blvd., Rohnert Park. calskate.com.

7 Saturday Marin Indoor Antique Market 29th Annual Christmas Show. 70 booths of

antiques & collectibles. Sat. 10 am–6 pm. Sun. 10 am–5 pm. $6. Marin Center Exhibit Hall. San Rafael. goldengatesgows.com.

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Elves’ Workshop. Different crafts

for children of all ages. $1 per craft & includes gift wrapping! 9 am–12 noon.

San Miguel Charter, 5320 Faught Rd., Santa Rosa.

FREE Craft Fair & Holiday Bazaar.

Stroll & shop for unique gift items.

Something for everyone on your list

or just for you! 9 am–1 pm. San Miguel Charter, 5320 Faught Rd., Santa Rosa

6:30 pm. Petaluma Turning Basin. visitpetaluma.com.

FREE Petaluma’s Lighted Boat

FREE Friedman’s Kidsworx Creative

Parade. Boats

Workshop. Children’s Museum of

aglow with colored lights & holiday decorations sail into the Historic Downtown Harbor against the darkening sky.

Sonoma County hosts fun science activities. 9 am–noon. Friedman’s Home Improvement. 4055 Santa Rosa Avenue, Santa Rosa. cmosc.org.

FREE Science Saturday at Environmental Discovery Center.

Tangible experiments & projects let children explore the natural world. Every 1st Sat., 1, 2 & 3 pm.

393 Violetti Rd., Santa Rosa. parks. sonomacounty.ca.gov.

Busy?

Enjoy Your Holidays More

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Order Pizza for Dinner!

Happy Holidays!

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2280 Santa Rosa Ave 707-544-2828

Rohnert Park

1451 Southwest Blvd 707-795-4433

Petaluma

919 Lakeville St 707-769-8989

Healdsburg

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32 SonomaFamilyLife

Decorations. It’s

family folding day!

Presented by the Redwood Origami Club. 10 am–1 pm. Rincon Valley Library. 6959 Montecito Blvd., Santa Rosa. sonomalibrary.org.

Dickens Holiday Craft Fair. Ride the Trolley free to & from Luther Burbank Home & Gardens Holiday Open House. Sat. 9 am–5 pm.

Sun. 10 am–4 pm. $2. 12 & under free. Finley Community Center.

2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa. lutherburbank.org.

Luther Burbank Open House. Rain or shine! Tour the historic home and gardens of Luther Burbank.

Hop “Rosie the Trolley” for free rides to the Dickens Holiday Craft Fair. Sat. & Sun. 10 am–4 pm. $2, free under 12. First & “D” Streets, Santa Rosa. lutherburbank.org.

FREE Calistoga Lighted Tractor Parade. Celebrating our agricultural heritage. Santa will be joining in. 7–8 pm. Downtown Calistoga. visitcalistoga.com.

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

FREE Calistoga Community Christmas Bazaar & Santa’s Workshop. Hundreds

of one-of-a-kind gift items. 9 am–4 pm. Napa Valley Fairgrounds. visitcalistoga.com.

FREE Fabulous Women Festival of Trees Charity Auction. Dec. 7, 13 & 14. 6–9:30 pm. Theater Square. 151 Petaluma Blvd. South. thefabulouswomen.com.

FREE Occidental Holiday Craft Fair. Regional artists showcase their special crafts & holiday pieces.

Sat. 10 am–5 pm. Sun. 10 am–4 pm. Occidental Community Center. occidentalcenterforthearts.org.

FREE Zen Fest. Create

8 Sunday Holiday Piano Concert. Piano

soloists play an eclectic mix of classical numbers & holiday season favorites. 2–4:30 pm. $20. House of Happy Walls Museum. Jack London State Park. Glen Ellen. jacklondonpark.org.

peace flags, handcrafted treasures, Buddhas for home & garden, silent auction, homemade treats, books & antiques.

9 am–4 pm. Masonic Center. 373 North Main Street, Sebastopol. stonecreekzencenter.org.

Marin Jingle Bell Run-Walk for

8th annual event to benefit the Napa Children’s Health Initiative.

Noon–2:30 pm. $50. $25 wine club members. Judd’s Hill Winery. 2332 Silverado Trail, Napa. juddshill.com.

off the holidays with a 5K race to fight arthritis. Wear a holiday-themed costume. Strollers & wheelchairs welcome! Festivities 7:30 am. Run 9 am. $5–$45.

Downtown San Rafael. jinglebellrun. kintera.org.

FREE North Bay Poetry Slam. Poets

FREE Lighting of the Snowmen

Hanukkah Hootenanny. The

of all ages & levels of experience are welcome to share the stage. Doors 8:30 pm. Show 10 pm. Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. hopmonk.com.

Arthritis. Kick

Festival. Live music, outdoor holiday cinema, face-painting, holiday crafts, games, pictures with Santa, a great meal. 4 pm. $5

ACADEMIC SKILLS

IS YOUR GOOD KID GETTING BAD GRADES? WE CAN HELP. For More than 36 years, our proven method has helped thousands of students improve skills, confidence, and grades.

Does EVERY 7 Year Old Need 2 Sets of Braces?

We believe the answer is NO! Our orthodontic specialists do FREE Dental Growth CheckUps for life starting at age 7 as recommended by the AAO.

For straight talk about whether your child needs early treatment CALL (707)575-0600!

• Academic evaluation identifies problem areas • Programs are tailored to address each student’s needs • Highly trained tutors work individually with students • Lessons are taught at the student’s pace

SAVE $100 WHEN YOU MENTION THIS AD

Every child should have regular check-ups.

That’s why ours are a FREE community service.

CALL 707-836-7800 Santa Rosa • Windsor • Petaluma

www.BernsteinBraces.com

www.sonomafamilylife.com

220 Windsor River Road, Windsor December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 33

parking. Cornerstone Sonoma.

23570 Arnold Dr., Sonoma. cornerstonesonoma.com.

11 Wednesday FREE “The Boy Who Cried Wolf-Holiday Version” Puppet Art. Puppeteer

Art Grueneberger presents the holiday version! 4–5 pm. Northwest Santa Rosa Library.

Coddingtown Shopping Center. sonomalibrary.org.

Rated G. Rudolph’s journey to becoming a part of Santa’s team.

Free popcorn! 5:30 pm. Rohnert Park-Cotati Library. 6250 Lynne Conde Way, Rohnert Park. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE Lego Club! Ages 6–12. Build your own unique creations. Lego bricks & theme provided. 4 pm.

Sebastopol Library. sonomalibrary.org.

White Christmas: The Musical. A

score overflowing with some of the greatest Broadway songs ever written thru Dec. 22. Fri. & Sat. 7:30 pm. Sun. 2:30 pm. Adults $26.

14 & under $16. Carston Cabaret, Wells Fargo Center for the Arts.

Santa Rosa. roustabout-theater.org.

It’s never too soon to protect your children’s future

13 Friday

Kristen M. Ingersoll Proud Mother and Attorney

Last 10K & Final 2-Mile Run. Wrap

Estate Planning, Trust and Probate Law

up 2013 in healthy way with 450 runners from all over Sonoma County. Dec. 11 registration deadline. $20 all runners race day. 9 am. Free members. $10 non-members. Howarth Park. Santa Rosa. empirerunners.org.

Law Offices of

Norton & Ingersoll, P.C.

kristen@noringlaw.com • (707)

FREE Holiday Family Movie Night!

230-2644

200 4th Street, Suite 350 • Santa Rosa

Sonoma Family Life Magazine 2.15” x 2.95” color

Parents, does your child sometimes not listen or behave the way you want him to?

Donate Your Vehicle.

Help Keep Kids Safe.

Free report reveals why Shotokan Karate might be the answer.

www.skls.org Shotokan Karate Leadership School 3082 B-1 Marlow Road 707-575-1681 ask@sonic.net www.skls.org 34 SonomaFamilyLife

when life is messy...

Your donation funds programs to find missing children.

800.375.9035 | carsforpkf.com Any condition.

Free pick-up.

Tax deductible.

Go to SearsClean.com or call 707-780-1565

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Dr. Rob Oliver PEDIATRIC DENTISTRY

14 Saturday

17 Tuesday

The Blind Boys of Alabama

FREE Holiday Story Time. Holiday

Christmas Show. Powerful

story time & craft. Ages 2–5. 11 am.

Windsor Library. 9291 Old Redwood Hwy. sonomalibrary.org.

gospel & spiritual music for the holidays. All ages. 8 pm. $40. Uptown Theatre.

Napa. uptowntheatrenapa.com.

FREE Winter Wonderland Boutique Shoppers Expo. 60+ vendors, gourmet

food, raffle prizes with proceeds benefiting The Living Room & The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. 10 am–4 pm. Sonoma County Fairgrounds. Santa Rosa. socoboutiqueshoppersexpo.com.

Holiday Family Day at Sonoma County Museum. Enjoy

fun, festivities, themed crafts & live music. Noon–3pm. $5 members. $7 general. 425 7th Street, Santa Rosa. sonomacountymuseum.org.

18 Wednesday FREE Family Hikes at Spring Lake.

Naturalist guides one-hour tour of area plants & wildlife. Third Sat. 1 pm & 3 pm. Environmental

The Best Care for Your Best Friend

CHRISTMAS PROGRAM DECEMBER 11TH, 7 P.M.

Wikiup Veterinary Hospital 130 Wikiup Dr, Santa Rosa • 573-8252 wikiupvethospital.vetsuite.com

One-to-one In-home tutoring

End School School End Frustration!

Frustration!

Our highly qualified tutors can help with: Our high quality tutors can help with:

• • • • •

Academic Subjects Foreign Languages Test Prep Study Skills ESL

Giving students the skills For children and adults. they need to succeed!

(707) 585-2584

(707) 585-2584

www.tutors2youca.com sonomacountytutors.com

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Cross & Crown Lutheran School Toddlers – Preschool Jr. Kindergarten – Kindergarten 1st through 6th Grade

Concert. Holiday

Tutors 2 You

www.lifeofsmiles.com

Registration Continues for 2013-14

Marin Symphony Holiday Pops

classics with choirs & guest soloists. 7:30 pm. $10–$70. Marin Veterans Memorial Auditorium. San Rafael. marinsymphony.org.

WINDSOR 838-7207 SEBASTOPOL 823-5207

WOODSIDE WEST SCHOOL Preschool & Elementary Programs Early Childhood Education School Age & Child Care Center Ages 2-12 Year Round

We strive to foster a child’s natural love of learning Still Registering, Call Today!

Creative Activities & Academics

❤ Little Twos ~ Play & Potty Training ❤ Preschool & K Readiness ❤ Jr K & Kindergarten ❤ Big Kids’ Club ❤ Transportation Available ❤ Summer Camps 2577 Guerneville Rd. • Santa Rosa • 528-6666 Lic#’s 490103579 & 490108547 • woodsidewestschool.com

December 2013

“Christmas: We’re On the Air” ALL ARE INVITED!!

795-7863

www.crossandcrownschoolrp.org Preschool license #490100475

Bring Your World into Focus • In House Optical & Lab • Licensed opticians • Thousands of frames in stock, including designer brands.

• Accept majority of insurance plans • State of the art instruments

Family owned and operated since 1956

720 4t h S t r ee t • San t a Ro s a • 575 -3800

SonomaFamilyLife 35

Play To Learn Children’s Center A hands on playful place made to encourage curiosity.

Discovery Center. Spring Lake, Santa Rosa. sonoma-county.org.

21 Saturday VOENA: Voices of the

707-837-2808

195 Windsor River Rd., Windsor missleslie10@gmail.com

SANTA ROSA CO-OP PRESCHOOL EST. 1951

A Place to Play. A Place to Learn. A Place to Grow.

• Accepting 2–5 Years Old

• Before & After School Care Option • Positive Discipline: ~ Parenting tools using kind and firm techniques ~ Encouragement with mutual respect ~ Natural and logical consequences Pre K Classes Available for Academic & Social Kindergarten Readiness

579-3718

srecschool.org

Season-Starry Night. Multicultural children’s choir with magical musical arrangements in beautiful Victorian costumes. 7:30 pm. $35.

Napa Valley Opera House. 1030 Main St., Napa. nvoh.org.

FREE The Christmas Feast. Food, toy & coat distribution, haircuts, other services plus children’s activities for the poor & needy in our community.

11 am–6:30 pm. Grace Pavilion.

Sonoma County Fairgrounds. Santa Rosa. srmission.org.

Sing-Along Messiah. A

benefit for the music education program of the Santa Rosa Symphony League. 7:30 pm. $20. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. sing-along-messiah.org.

FREE Museum-on-the-go! Inspire children’s creativity & stimulate their curiosity thru playful art & science projects. 10 am–2 pm.

Sonoma Valley Library. 755 W. Napa St. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE Gingerbread House Program.

Make a gingerbread house out of a milk carton & way to much candy.

1–3 pm. Santa Rosa Downtown Library. sonomalibrary.org.

FREE Santa Fly In at Pacific Coast Air Museum. Santa arrives by

helicopter! Jumpees, planes to climb

NOW ENROLLING FOR FALL CLASSES

reg

redwood empire gymnastics

Featuring our tumblebug program for preschool aged children

“We Make House Calls”!

INVEST IN YOUR CHILD’S EDUCATION & FUTURE?

Free Consultation!

Call 707 843-3693 1-on-1 at Home tutordoctor101.com

36 SonomaFamilyLife

Boys & Girls Classes Recreation 6–12 Tumbling, Tramp, Camps Parties & Parents Night Out

www.regymnastics.com

707-763-5010

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

aboard & a bag of goodies for every child. 10 am–4 pm. Fly-in time TBD. Pacific Coast Air Museum. One Airway Museum Way. Santa Rosa. pacificcoastairmuseum.org.

FREE

PREVIEW CLASS

FREE Holiday Dance with Nicola

MUSIC SKILLS TO LIFE SKILLS

Clay. Dance

around the world! Ages 4 & up. 3 pm. Petaluma Library. sonomalibrary.org.

Sonoma County Children’s Music

28 Saturday

867 Third Street • Santa Rosa (707) 527-7900 Enroll Online at www.childrenlovemusic.com

Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!

Bring in the New Year with crafts, a balloon drop at noon & root beer toasts at noon & 3 pm. 10 am–4 pm. $10 adults. $5 seniors & youth. 3 & under FREE. Charles M. Schulz Museum. schulzmuseum.org.

RINCON VALLEY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

31 Tuesday Noon Year’s Eve. Count

down to noon as you watch the ball drop in Festival Plaza. 9 am–2 pm. $11.

Members and infants free. Bay Area Discovery Museum. Sausalito. baykidsmuseum.org

Classes for Every Stage of Development, Newborn to Seven

Dr. Charlene R. Chan Dr. Monica L. Chmiel Orthodontics & Dentofacial Orthopedics For Children, Teens & Adults Serving Sebastopol since 1980

707.823.1200 www. chanorthodontics.com

Preschool– High School Academic excellence Award winning Music Programs Leading Sports Programs Day School-Home School-Hybrid

707-539-1486

www.rvchristian.org

Put your Affairs in Order • • • • • •

FREE Consultation

Nominate Guardians for Minors Revocable Living Trusts Wills Powers of Attorney Meet at Your Home

TypeA+ teaches computer keyboarding to students grades 2-8 Enrolling Now for Winter

Evening & Weekend Appointments Available

707-431-7250

Maria Grace Wilson, Attorney at Law mgracewilson@comcast.net www.sonomafamilylife.com

December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 37

Parties

Parties

INVITE HER TO YOUR NEXT PARTY!

LET’S CELEBRATE Birthday Parties at the Y

Tudor Rose English Tea Room

SPLASH PARTY - Splish, splash and celebrate! Your friends & family will enjoy an hour long open swim.

SPORTS PARTY– Enjoy an afternoon of Basketball, Indoor Soccer, Yoga, Dodgeball or an Obstacle Course.

“Little Girl” Birthday Parties

LET’S GET CRAFTY– You & your guests will enjoy an hour of make & take craft projects.

•All parties will continue in the private party room•

Specializing in Bridal and Baby Showers.

Lunches and High Tea served daily.

Private room available.

(707) 494-5490

Call 707-545-9622 x 3119 to reserve your party today!

Open Wed-Sun

535-2045

733 4th Street Santa Rosa

The Y is a non-profit Community Based Organization.

Financial Assistance is available.

tudorrosetearoom.com

PACIFIC COAST AIR MUSEUM

CARDINAL NEWMAN

Prepared for College. Prepared for Life.

WE HAVE THE PLACE FOR YOUR PARTY A real airplane to sit in and play with the controls.

Refrigerator available.

Call the museum at 575-7900.

See what we have! www.pacificcoastairmuseum.org

Need A Venue For Business Events?

Conferences • Meetings Presentations Non-Profit Discounts

The

Odd Fellows Hall RESERVE @ 707-546-1591

545 Pacific Ave, Santa Rosa

Join Us For Open House Sunday, December 8 at 11am th

Learn how the class of 2013 earned over $16 Million in scholarships offered.

cardinalnewman.org

50 Ursuline Rd. Santa Rosa, CA 954303 l 707.546.6470 Admission Office l Pat Piehl ex 120

38 SonomaFamilyLife

Let Us Decorate Your Next Party for You! • Birthdays • Quince’s • Weddings • Events • Corporate

Party Chicks Décor

707-888-7075 Lic. 69681

CRAIG’S PARTY STORE Good prices • Great service • Convenience • San Rafael, Petaluma, and now Santa Rosa!

Check out our new website

craigspartystore.com

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Marketplace Lessons

Lessons

Take ME Driving

Lessons

Lessons

DO YOU LOVE TO

Register Now for Fall Classes

Sing!

Kandras Driving School Drivers Ed/Training in class or online

GREAT LOW PRICE! 838-3100

takemedriving.net

Call Today for more inforamation: 707-575-7701 www.artandsoulmusic.com 4861 Old Redwood Hwy., Santa Rosa *Bring in this ad and we’ll waive your registration fee

English Riding

Lessons & Training One of the largest schooling programs in Sonoma County

Great for riders of all ages and levels

707.538.2000 MARKWESTSTABLES.COM

Santa Rosa Children’s Chorus

Carol Menke, Artistic Director Providing quality training and performance since 1984.

Beginning-advanced levels Auditioning children ages 7-12

527-8813

srchildrenschorus.com

AFTER SCHOOL WITH PONIES! •Self-Esteem •Responsibility •FUN!

Parties Check out our online directories

Wings After School Martial & Arts Program

Wings (707) 544-2302 www.wingsmap.org

Cakes & Unique Sweets

FREE DANCE WORKSHOP FOR KIDS! JAZZ, TAP, HIP -HOP, BALLET AND BREAK DANCE

MARTIAL & ARTS PROGRAM (707) 695-5483 • mstudiodance.com 3952 Sebastopol Rd. Suite #158 • Santa Rosa

New Location!

Branching Out from our Family to Yours • Birthdays

• Weddings

• Baby Showers

707-205-9256 www.sonomafamilylife.com

• We Pick Up! Free Shuttle to studio from school • Daily Karate classes & Homework time

(707) 544-2302

www.wingsmap.org

546-7669

europeanponyschool.com

Check out our online lessons directories

AFTER-SCHOOL

SUPPORTS ACADEMICS WITH FUN!

European Pony School

Footloose

Dance Center

Tap • Flamenco • Hip Hop Wing tsun • Salsa Ages 6–80 Rehearsal Space Available Carole Savoy, Director 5681 Redwood Drive • Rohnert Park 707 584-8058 footloosedancecenter.com

December 2013

SonomaFamilyLife 39

Gifts

Pets

Pets

916-682-0311 Pamela-Hubbard.barefootbooks.com

Pet Grooming

By Carol Small Dog Specialist

Make Appointments Online Fast at:

Counseling

We care for your pets as though they are part of our family!

www.petgroomingbycarol

707.889.3558

www.facebook.com/petgroomingbycarol

Op M o n d ae n y Saturdathru y

Animal Hospital of Sebastopol 707-823-3250

Artful Arrangements

1010 Gravenstein Hwy, South Sebastopol ahosvet.com

Delivery of Living-Plant Gifts

Art’s for the soul – a gift to the eye Life is too short, to even ask why

un FBlast!

Weekend

ArtfulArrangements.org 707-664-8656

INSTRUCTIONAL CHESS CLASSES AT YOUR SCHOOL!

Boarding • Daycare • Training Grooming • All Day Play Web Cams Rohnert Park 206-9000

Santa Rosa 595-3834

ParadisePetResorts.com petbuddies@me.com

Legal

Guidance in Difficult Times Law Office of Joel Richard Rubin

Certified Family Law Specialist 707-527-4470 • joelrrubin.com

CHESS FOR KIDS

Call today!

(707) 527-6427

chessclubforkids.com 40 SonomaFamilyLife

Home Russell's Room by Room Painting & Restoration

Interior/ exterior, furniture/cabinet Restoration, Power washing and more

(707) 479-6194

@

Sign up online for our weekly enews featuring the best family friendly weekend events.

www.SonomaFamilyLife.com

Prompt Delivery Giftshop Open Saturday’s 10am-2pm 205 Orchard Lane, Penngrove

Supportive Counseling. Helping children and families with anger, stress, depression and healing from physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Counseling for parents. Kathleen Dunham, MFT. 829-7051. Se Habla Espanol.

ART

HEALS

Marriage, Family, & Art Therapy 707-544 -1513

www.cynthiahalliday.com

Classified Ads Work Advertise Here Call 586-9562

russellsroombyroom.com Lic, bonded, & Ins 979032

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Marketplace Schools

Your Family Chiropractor

California State University

Online Teacher Preparation www.calstateteach.net Become an exceptional teacher with 21st century skills using iPads & eTexts!

Pregnancy & Post-Natal Infants, Kids & Teens Scoliosis & Posture Correction

831.582.4624

Counseling FINDING THE SOLUTION THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU & YOUR FAMILY!

YMCA PRESCHOOL MOLDING YOUNG ONES INTO A BRIGHT FUTURE...

Santa Rosa: 2590 Piner Rd.

- Part time /Full Time Care-Flexible Plans Available-

PROGRAM OBJECTIVES: Health & Nutrition, Motor Skills, Interpersonal Relationships, Self Confidence, and Cognitive & Academic Skills.

776-6932 • theposturechiropractor.com

K-6 Homeschool Program

Childcare/Preschools

PRICING & REGISTRAION: Contact the YMCA Program Office at 707.544.1829 The Y is a non-profit community based organization.

Financial Assistance is available.

Casa dei B o’s Since 1981 amb i h Montessori School

ini

Dr. Jennifer Price, DC, CACCP

Childcare/Preschools

R

Health

Preschool•Kindergarten Parent-Toddler Class Ages 18 months to 6-years

Montessori Education Inspires ♥ Joy of Learning ♥ Order & Detail ♥ Concentration ♥ Grace & Courtesy 2427 Professional Dr.•Santa Rosa, Near Steele Lane & Hwy 101 www.rhioscasa.com

707-528-0889 Developing the Whole Child ages Play-Based Learning 3 to 5 hours 8 am to 3 pm, years

Monday - Friday Christ Methodist Preschool

1717 Yulupa Ave., Santa Rosa • 707.526.0204

Jennifer Ballard, MFT

www.cmpreschool.org

Program of First United Methodist Church

Stony Point Academy

• Play Therapy • Family Counseling • Parent Coaching 707- 483-9061 FREE CONSULTATION SolutionFamilyTherapy.com

Is Your Child Defiant, Stubborn, or Aggressive?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

For children 3-6.

Start to see results in just 6 sessions.

Year-round • Play based Ages 2 - 5 (Pre-Kindergarten) Excellent Teacher-Child ratios Open 7am-6pm

Info at spacharter.org Or call 707-568-7504

Diane: 546-7012

Your Child can Thrive!

Online learning ignites the minds of children like yours

preschool@fumcsantarosa.org www.fumcsantarosa.org/preschool License#490110699

FUMC

Preschool & Child Care Center

Enroll now K12.com/AAS or 877-506-8631

Check out our online directories

WHERE CHILDREN & NATURE COME TOGETHER! Open Tues.-Thur.

7:30am-4:15pm

(707) 843-7730 plumoaks.com plumoaks@outlook.com Lic. 493008600

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Playtime Daycare/Preschool Join our loving family. Spacious playroom, large yard, meals provided. CPR & first aid certified.

M-F. Infants & up. Call Wendy 539-7524. Lic. #04746.

Presbyterian Preschool is a developmental, play-based preschool with dynamic, caring teachers. Generations keep returning! We foster the love of learning. We are accepting applications for 2013. Call 542-7396 or go to our website: www.presbyterianpreschool.org

ASK ABOUT A FREE CONSULTATION

707-545-4600 www.srcbt.org

The Bridge School. Located in Central Santa Rosa, 1625 Franklin Ave. Year-round full/half–day. Rich nurturing environment.

Center based program for ages 3–5 with separate 2’s program. Caring, qualified teachers. Julie & Andrew Day; owners.

Lic.#493005697. 575-7959.

December 2013

Offering a Montessori preschool & kindergarten program in a beautiful country setting for children ages 3-6.

redbarnmontessori.org 789-9397 • 3820 Bodega Ave., Petaluma

Art ~ Music ~ Nature Preschool/Afterschool Ages 2-12 DROP-IN Year-Round M-Sat. 8am - 9pm Near Downtown Petaluma 707-762-1312 wendyzs.com Lic. # 493007432

SonomaFamilyLife 41

Humor

Hidden Mickey Hell Trip By “Bull” Garlington

T

his winter we did the same thing we always do to get relief from a murderous winter: we chipped our car out of its ice block, skidded into the airport, and flew to Disney.

How can you find the people from Chicago at Disney in January? They’re in the pool. How do you find the Floridians? They’re dressed like extras in Ice Age 5. Go ahead; search for ‘idiots from Chicago’ on Instagram and you’ll find a picture of me in my shirtless glory, belly-flopping into a pool ringed with flabbergasted Floridians. Just fix that picture in your mind, please, because it was the last— THE VERY LAST—moment of joy I will ever have in the Magic Kingdom.

In that moment of idiotic, drooly happiness. I told my kids about hidden Mickeys and ruined Disney forever.

A hidden Mickey is a visual surprise left by the original designers of Disney; it’s a Disney’s logo, placed in some inconspicuous place, perfectly visible, but undetected unless you ALREADY KNOW IT’S THERE. We used to prance around the parks like we were in a cheesy musical. I loved it. It was the only time my family actually looked like a family: 42 SonomaFamilyLife

addictive music while searching the scenery for hidden Mickeys.

“Honey, did you like the Elephants on the Jungle Cruise?”

“We went on a cruise?” bear hugged and stupid, our smiles are so genuinely overflowing with spontaneous delight we bruised our cheeks.

My kids pulled me through the crowds, screaming “THIS IS AWESOME, DAD!” As soon as our rental is off the lot, my kids morph into pint-sized Sherlocks, looking for the hidden rodent.

I have to give them credit for ceaseless effort. They didn’t eat until they’d thoroughly examined their Mac & Cheese for hidden Mickeys. Finally, I couldn’t take it and I asked a vendor if he’d show me a hidden Mickey.

He whipped out his handy Hidden Mickey Guidebook and found one right in front of us. I said, “OH MY GOD!” and pointed at a crane and lo, as Disney’s convenient background soundtrack swelled, from a tangle of rebar and concrete, the Disney logo resolved, in all its splendor.

“PULL OVER! OH MY GOD!”

“Seriously dad? That’s a lamp.”

“ARE YOU THROWING UP ALREADY?”

And I realized the great thing about hidden Mickeys is not finding them, it’s looking for them. So I gave the vendor five bucks and talked him into betraying their trust for the sake of my sanity. The vendor pointed at a bush. “There’s one right there. In the bush. See it?”

No more.

My daughter leaps out of the car and points her camera at some trees. She confers with the boy. They glumly return.

“False alarm.”

“WHAT!? I THINK I BLEW A TIRE!” “We thought we saw a hidden Mickey.”

Then, as we approached the gates— “STOP THE CAR!” My kids pile into the front seat, phones flung forward.

“THERE IT IS! WE SAW ONE!” “That’s a stop sign.”

It goes on the whole trip. And I wasn’t alone. On It’s a Small World, all the kids in our boat were perfectly mute, ignoring the

My kids stared and stared and I thought, crap the jig is up, then, suddenly, my daughter squealed, whipped up her camera, and took a picture. Of a bush.

“Oh my GOD! I can SEE it! LOOOK!” And just like that, they forgot all about it. Their mission was accomplished.

They shoved their miniature cameras back into their backpacks and lost themselves to the stupid joy of roller coasters and cotton candy. In our vacation pictures is a sad little bush... labeled “Mickey Mouse.” ¶

December 2013 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Happy Holidays

This is a spectacular time of year when people are feeling kind and generous. Old Saint Nicholas set the precedent for generosity a very long time ago, and people have taken his message and flown with it. Personal gifts to people we care about, and financial gifts to organizations who do good work, are in abundance.

At Fine Tree Care, we encourage you to give to organizations that keep Sonoma County strong and healthy…from environmental groups who protect our forests and watersheds, to organizations that feed people and take care of families in need…they all need our support.

Sonoma County residents are family, and this beautiful land is our home.

Sonoma County’s Best-Loved Tree Service since 1999

(707) 874-2018 Visit our web site for more information and testimonials from satisfied clients.

www.SonomaTree.com

Licensed, Bonded & Insured

At Fine Tree Care, nurturing our home and family is at the top of our priority list. Our crews are trained to respect laws designed to protect watersheds, rivers, lakes and land while serving the needs of our clients.

Winter is the perfect time of year to evaluate the trees on your property when branches, power lines & potential hazards are clearly visible. Give us a call to schedule a visit, and remember, we offer a rainy weather discount for pre-scheduling winter work.

CCL #947598, LTO #A10086, Certified Arborists Reports, Workers Comp., General Liability, Commercial Auto, & Third Party Liability Insurance