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John Selick and his son Michael
early a decade after learning his 11-year-old son Michael was on the autism spectrum, chef John Selick says acceptance and advocacy were essential ingredients. “We discovered his autism early, around 18 months,” the chef explained. “I kept seeing TV commercials about autism describing kids with no eye contact ... no talking was the biggest issue — he had some language and it just sort of went away. His mom was really concerned, so she brought some people out from the county to examine him and do testing when he was nearing 2 years old.” The early intervention specialists told the Selicks that Michael wasn’t playing with toys appropriately for his age. “He just has the wrong toys,” Selick recalls thinking. “That night I left work and went to Babies “R” Us and bought him all these toys certain he’d be able to stack the blocks. He didn’t. I picked him up and every time I’d look at him in the face he’d look away. It was heartbreaking.” Selick began attending support groups for families with children recently diagnosed on the autism spectrum; they convened to exchange stories and create a network for one another. “I really got involved on a local level. I wanted to make sure I was aware of every resource available to Michael without missing anything,” he said. The influence of Michael’s diagnosis extended beyond Selick’s personal life. While temporarily abstaining from casein and gluten as a
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family, he found himself examining ingredients more closely at work with Sodexo Healthcare Services. “It really changed me as a chef in terms of looking at ingredients, thinking about cross-contamination and identifying hidden additives on a label.” He reached out to local organizations to volunteer his time and became a recurring chef participant in the Autism Society of Greater Cleveland’s annual Chili Cook Off and Autism Speaks’ biennial event, the Cleveland Chef Gala hosted by Michael Symon. “I want it to be the best culinary event of the year because it means so much to me,” Selick says of the latter event. “Though he may not know exactly what it means, Michael is aware that when autism is mentioned, it has something to do with him. I want my son to look at me on TV supporting Autism Speaks and to be proud of me, to feel special and know that this is for him.” The feeling of pride is mutual between father and son. “I wouldn’t change a thing about him,” Selick says. “Because of his quirkiness, he’s the funniest kid in the world to me and he knows he’s funny. I’m so fortunate with Michael that he does
so many things. I just tell him, ‘Do your best and you’ll be okay,’ and try not to treat him any different than my other two kids. He has expectations and rules he has to follow, too.” Being patient while parenting to his son’s potential instead of his prognosis helped Michael thrive. “He does have some problems with school and some ADHD going on. He’s in the regular education setting with an IEP ... he has friends and is a very high-functioning kid. He went through times of school where he would not read and I did everything I could. Now he reads everything. It was just like talking; we were concerned, we had speech therapy, now all of a sudden he won’t stop talking. He does things at his own pace, and once he does something he’s a champ.” A positive attitude and meeting other parents and their kids with autism made all the difference for Selick. “I accepted him and avoided imagining a doomsday scenario, rather, recall thinking: ‘Well, he’s never going to be the President of the United States but he will be something special,’ and he is,” he affirms, encouraging other parents to follow suit, “Make the best of the situation without being upset by the hand you were dealt. I’m thankful for what I have and don’t think about what it could or should be.”
livespecial.com 2017