I came to Hofstra determined to prove That I wouldn’t fit in the usual grooves If I’d stayed close to home for some cheap, dumb diploma I’d die in the Midwest from a self-induced coma
I won’t go to the city,” oh I shudder to think About all of that money I’d toss down the sink A trip to Freedom Tower that they promised would change me? I mean aren’t all those skyscrapers kind of the same thing?
With Hofstra my choice I set sights on the city But I fell for good PR like so, so many My lazy ass never comes close to the train I’m afraid of derailment and getting caught in the rain
I’ll stick to Long Island, there’s plenty to do There’s like three to four options (too many to choose)! We can go to the beach, Montauk Point, and the mall And spend the rest of our lives cycling back through them all
New York feels so far and oh so expensive That Hofstra would use it as bait feels offensive! This Long Island campus traps all of its residents With the guilt of the money we throw at its president
It’s a choice that I made, and I sure do regret it Because a train’s slight derangement could possibly end it So I’m trapped in a crapshoot of NYU rejects Long Island, my home. I can not ever leave it
Now I’ve forgotten my purpose, lost my rationale As I make dumb excuses about Hempstead’s locales ‘Cause who the hell wants to spend an hour of travel And waste all your time with plans that unravel? Why trek to the Met or to Carnegie Hall? When the train could derail and put an end to it all? I’ll whine to my friends “Hofstra dorming is murder As I shit living bugs that I ate at Smashburger” But when we do get off campus to do something else We’ll just drive down to Target and stare at the shelves I’ll be searching for nothing, just waiting to go Yet, it’s still much easier to give up and say “no
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