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5 Liminal Planes
You HAVE to Visit 5. Hofstra’s South Campus During Winter Break
Hustling and bustling for most of the semester, what once seemed like a safe and all-around adequate learning environment has sunk into a deep purgatory. The wind tends to blow just a little bit harder without the thousand of student-corpses shambling around. You can also scream all you want when your professors finally post grades, knowing that no one can here your failures! All in all, a great place to have a meltdown that won’t count in the morning.
4. Roosevelt Field Mall Right After it Opens Ever been so desperate to get those last minute birthday gifts you get to the mall at ten in the morning on a weekday? Pft, yeah, well I mean, me neither. But seriously though, the halls are empty. If anything screams post-apocalyptic purgatory, it’s the deserted stores and dead-eyed employees. Their lips say “may I help you?”, their faces scream “kill me”. Unlike the souls of the unfortunate few salespeople, however, one thing you won’t be missing are the lines! The perfect location to contemplate your lonely existence, as well as buy a shitty keychain for that friend that you aren’t really that friendly with.
3. That One Park by Your Parents House After Dark, You Know the One Remember all those great summer afternoons when you were a kid? Being pushed on the swing by your dad, playing in the sandbox, face-planting into the wood chips, going to the hospital because you got a wood chip in your eye, good times! Now though, it’s the spot to be at. Some say you can still hear the echoes of childhood innocence fading away, and the ambiance of long-gone nightmares brought to life again makes this location both nostalgic and enticing. Fun for the whole family!
2. The Bolla Market on Hempstead Turnpike, 2-4AM They know exactly what you’ve been doing. They know why you’re there at that hour. Don’t even try to hide it. They don’t give a shit, honestly, but they know.
1. Any Airport at Any Time Okay, no one really likes being in an airport. It never feels like you’re in a real place, just a half-way point between home and your weird aunt’s house that always kind of smells like maple syrup even though she’s never making pancakes. There are some serious benefits, however. Take a gander at the worryingly large murals decorating desolate walls, spend exorbitant amounts of money on the finest kiosks fast-food moguls have to offer. Better yet, you can even cause quite a commotion by yelling “Unattended bag!”, at any point in time or any location, making for instant entertainment! Way better than any boring familial excursions. Seriously though, why does it always smell like maple syrup? It’s kind of worrying. 8