Staff writers staff artists Jordan “Partisan? More like the only Part I Stan ;-)” Hopkins William “Dead Mouse The Fifth” Faber Robert “The Cummunist” Kinnaird Lizzie “Poopycock Cuckleworthy Triboob” Frank Veronica “Corn Law” Toone Peter “The 1802-1804 Fiscal Recession” Soucy Mattie “Dance Dance Industrial Revolution” Brown Brandon “The Cunning Linguist” Allen
Tori “King Michael Of Mellow The 69th” Jenkins Sam “Sir Party Boy The Seventh” Riebs Mark “Oliver Twisted My Nipples” Melchin Bethany “Arkwright” Foster Emily “World War 1? What Did World War Win?” Hart Brynne “Grizzly Bear...Grizzly Bear?” Levine Lizzie “Poopycock Cuckleworthy Triboob” Frank William “Dead Mouse The Fifth” Faber
contributors Emmett “The Mathlete” Goebbel Rosario “All Coppers Are Cads” Navalta
Mailbag Q:How many factory workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 6; 5 to operate the guillotine and 1 to screw the lightbulb in. Q: I want to live a long life, but I’m poor. Will this be a problem? A: What am I, your mommy? Q: Help my daughter has the measles A: Well, then you better go catch it! Q: Is ur horse and buggy running? A: Well, then you better go catch it! Q:I lost my son, can you find him? A: Again? We’re all out. Q: Hearye! Hearye! I shallst venture to the localeth McDonalds. Dost any persons craveth anything? A: big mac. Realy big. Big mutton. Q: Forsooth? A: It’s pronounced “foreskin” :-) Q: UWU? A: i know not of what you speak foul wench. Q:I write to thee, my darling, of my venture in East Kansas, how doth thee fare, my love? A: I have dysentery.
Q: Is it frankenstein or Frankenstein’s monster? A: Frankenstein’s muenster cheese. It’s actually lizzie frank. A2: Also like in the book his name is literally Adam but we all still call him monster like wtf? A3: Ok buddy we get it, you read. A4: How dare you to assume I can read. Q: What would you recommend? A: big mac Q: If a tree falls in the forest, and another tree falls on top of it, what if they accidental kiss? A: That’s gay Q: Book. A: This isn’t a question? Q2: No, it’s a warning. Q: Gold mine? More like Gold MINE haha A: Come write for us. Q: I’m trying to liberate the proletariat but my marxist pamphlets are dummy thicc and the clap of their pages tell the bourgeoisie where I am A: Is this English? Q: Anyone up for some revolution? A: Not the Beatles’ finest song. Q2: It’s 1869 what the fuck is a beatle A: yummy
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Q: Help, I’m short? A: No. Q: What would you do if we accidental got vaccinated? A: I got scurvy ;^( Q: So I found this tapeworm? A: No, that tapeworm found you. Heart emoji Q: What does the N stand for in Nonsense? A: You know what it stands for. Q2: No, the second n Q: What do you want from blockbuster? Because it’s old A: Hey maybe don’t flex on blockbuster like that Q2: I also watched captain marvel Q: Can anyone please teach me how to read I don’t know how? A: <left intentionally blank> Q2: gshubbehehehxhbdbhdc Q: Can anyone watch my baby real quick while I shop? A: I’m baby Q: Is biphobia real yet? A: It will be.
cuck