The Poppycock Chuckleworthy Tribune

Page 16

19th Century Dating Profiles By lizzie frank

Friar Patrick, 30 Likes: God, potatoes, praying Dislikes: sodomy, fiddle music, pagans Occupation: Hermit

Serf Carmichael, 18

Lady Elizabeth, 22 Personal Motto: You have to play the game to win the game. I killed my sister and then married her widower because her dowry had the fatter pig, and I’m not ashamed to admit that. Needs in a partner: Only sibling, wealthy, owns land. Doesn’t get weird when they find out my last 23 husbands were murdered (by me)

Occupation: Criminal Resides: South Lankanshirestown Something not many people know about me: I’ve had typhoid fever longer than I haven’t had typhoid fever.

Me Occupation: theoretical physicist experimenting with quantum cosmology Likes: returning to the 21st century, mint chocolate chip ice cream Dislikes: Using time machines while high, accidentally getting stuck in the 19th century My worst fear: to be tar and feathered by those American sirrahs! After I die: empty my pockets and throw my body in the river

Sister Gertrude, 19 Occupation: nun omg my friends set up this account for me, I consider myself to be in a long term relationship with God. dm for more information ;)

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