(UNFINISHED) CRIMINAL MINDS SCRIPT By Lizzie Frank
Scene 1: INT. fbi room. The fbi agents, who are all very beautiful, are getting ready to leave for the weekend. Their backpacks are full of classic fbi items, like guns and bullets and crossbows and packed lunches that will go bad if their left in the break room fridge over the weekend. Pretty Emily Prentiss: I’m very excited for this weekend! I love to relax!! Agent Blonde Me also! I love to chill with my children and my Southern husband. Pretty Computer Lady Not so fast, officers! There’s been a crime! Scene 2: INT. Private Jet Elderly Italian [quote by a dead person about morality] Scene 3 Derek Jeter Hello Sheriff, what seems to be the problem here? Sheriff (who is a woman!! Perhaps even a hispanic woman… or is that too galaxy brain for you??) We have criminal. People are daying and killer takes their toenails!! Sheriff shows powerpoint with some videos of feet to apply to a new audience demographic. Sheriff Also all victims are people with glasses. Dr. Spencer Reed Richards, PhD. Perfect. Get me all the files on crimes involving glasses from 1966-present day. Sheriff Okay we have already pulled the files but… it’s simply too much for one man to reed! Dr. Agent Spencer Gifts, PhD. But Sheriff, I’m not a man. I’m a Genius. Spencer read is nonbinary uwu soft boi He reed very fast. Computer Lady Using spencer’s gift of knowledge, I plotted the crimes on a map and made this circle of proximity of where the next crime is going to be. Map is a circle surrounding entire town Derek rose Wow! Thanks, Miss. Computer. Beautiful emily prentiss Now we know where crime! Let’s wait for criminal to show his face and then! We arrest!
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