Pictures of Crimes That Haven’t Happened Yet A PHOTO ESSAY BY LIZZIE FRANK
You may be asking yourself- whaaaat? But this is just an average dorm room! There’s an American flag in there, so no one could possibly break a law right? Well, I’ll tell you: as soon as the sun goes down (at 4:32 pm) these two special ladies are going to be smoking a fat blunt out their shared window. And I know what you’re thinking, but yes. Girls smoke weed. It’s 2018, loser. Even you can smoke weed, if you want to. But like,
Now I know what you’re thinking-- in my Hot Topic? It’s just not possible! Well let me assure you, it’s very very possible. In fact, it’s inescapable. In 17 minutes Antonella is gonna mosey her way through this store taking every pin, patch, and piercing she can get her hands on. Why, you may ask? It’s simple: she is a fighting a revolution against capitalism. And by that I mean her mom pays her credit bill and she’d be like, sooooo
Women in power! #werk! But no seriously, this female CEO is about to methodically strangle every man at the table, each with their own tie. It may sound gruesome, but it’s actually for the good of the company! No, really. Trust us on this one. Let Olivia do what has to be done, because really. It has to be done.
It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means!! Valerie and Malik are about to make a mind numbingly good pasta for the neighborhood dish to pass, and those flat ass-ers Tony and Brad from 315 are going to bring store bought cookies! :))))))) for the 4th dinner in a row :)))))))))))))) but it’s all good because Val and Mal are hosting this week, so it is totally within their rights as hosts to kidnap Tony and Brad and brainwash and hypnotize them until their life purpose is to cook healthy yet indulgent dish-to-pass offerings. It’s not, like, in their rights as Americans though. It’s actually mega-illegal. But good on them for taking the issue into their own hands! Or their own
10