Unsung HERO Meet the Guy that Crushed Aerosmith’s Nuts to Save Rock Music By Veronica Toone
“They were some tough nuts.” In 1973, Aerosmith released their self-titled album, Aerosmith, with the help of their producer Adrian Barber. But Steve “Mouth Man” Tyler and the gang didn’t work alone. For their hit song “Dream On,” —a song that ranked number 173 on Rolling Stones’ 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and number 4 on my brother Colton’s 50 Songs That Are Significantly Cooler Once Eminem Starts Rapping— Tyler requested that his close childhood friend, Damien Spoots, stand directly on top of his testicles during the recording of the song to ensure that he could hit those famous high notes. Damien was born in Ontario, Canada, in 1952. He currently makes his living eating raw eggs on the street for passers-by. Nevertheless, Spoots said, he won’t forget his rock and roll past. Nonsense talked to this mostly-anonymous rock superstar about his past and potential for the future.
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How did you feel when [Steve “Endless Lips” Tyler] approached you? I was floored. Stevie and I smoked a lot of weed together in high school… and he would always impress me with how many apples he could fit in his mouth (it’s twelve, by the way!). When he told me he wanted to be a singer, I told him, “hey, if you ever need someone to stomp on your beans when you sing high notes, remember your old buddy Damien, okay?” I had totally forgotten about it after six or seven years had gone by, but folks have a real tough time getting anything past old Steve. He called me, drunk as all get out, and said to me, “Damien!” he says, “I want you to do somethin’ real special for me!” Once he said that, I knew exactly what I had to do. And the rest is history.
Do you consider yourself a part of Aerosmith now? To be honest: not really. I mean, I’m really glad I got to help my buddy out, but I don’t think I’m really a part of their band. Sometimes if an Aerosmith song is playing,
I’ll point out my contribution before someone inevitably puts a different song on, but that’s about it.
Can you tell us anything about what you’re doing now? I would prefer not to answer any questions about my personal affairs. I told you all about the eggs already. This is about music.
Did you get a cut of the royalties? It’s actually a funny story that goes all the way back to the reason Steve and I became friends. It was over somethin’ really similar to this. Back in ’66, he owed me money for sellin’ him some bike parts… or helping him move —it’s a little foggy— and so he decided that rather than pay me, I could just kick him in the jewels. And it sounded really good! So we decided that if [Steve] ever became famous, I’d get a little cut to do the egg-whackin’. He tried to keep the money for himself… Well, initially at least. Steve told me he didn’t wanna see any money going to me, because he figured, “hey, y’know, they’re my huevos, that should be my cut! I can’t un-injure myself!” So I got a little upset, and I was
like, “I’ll kill you, you bastard. I’ll do to you what I did to your sister’s ex-husband. I swear to god, I’ll shit you out onto your mother’s doorstep.” All in all, I ended up getting about twenty percent (20%) of the royalties from [“Dream On”]. It worked out pretty well.
What did Tyler’s Grapes feel like under your boots? Ha ha ha, I had a feeling we’d reach a point where you’d ask that. They were actually kind of hard. Like, if it were me, I’d probably go see a doctor, but Steve was always a bit of a different being, you know what I’m saying? He had some tough nuts. It took a lot of force to squeak those notes out of him, but then again, it took a lot of force just to get the guy to give me my goddamn 20% ha ha. That’s why his face aged like that…
Will you be offering your services to any other musicians in the future? At this point, only the ones willing to pay up front. Lil Yachty knows where to find me.
But he’s awfully young, isn’t he? I know exactly how old he is.