10 Pics of Our Dads’ Time in the Service That Make War Seem
A LITTLE TOO COOL By Jesse Saunders and Ariel Leal
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WAR
(noun): War (originally called Eric Burdon and War) is an American funk band from Long Beach, California, known for the hit songs “Spill the Wine”, “The World Is a Ghetto”, “The Cisco Kid”, “Why Can’t We Be Friends?”, “Low Rider”, and “Summer”. They are our favorite band. It is also, however, our favorite activity.
Seems like there wasn’t too much happening in the barracks, but that’s okay. Check out my dad, such a little kid in this photo, never presented the chance to end another human’s life, but instead just dressed up with nowhere to go! Man, the little known Korean War of the 1980’s must have been so sweet. There was a war, right?
This man is carrying a bandolier around his neck, but I suppose it functions more like a necklace since none of those bullets were used to end any lives. That uniform is pretty corny too, am I right? If I joined the army today I’d look way cooler.
Whether or not Congress declares it as such, War is a fun (and/or good) time for the whole family. “Why would you say these things to me?” you might ask. First off, do not ask us questions, we are here to tell you answers. Our dad’s had fun in War, so one must conclude War is fun and cool. War is also, however, really good. Observe.
Man, they’re not kidding when they say that there’s nothing more cool than a gun haha. Don’t let this picture fool you, however. That gun could be plastic or something. Sure my dad is cool and all that, but like, I feel as though I’m pretty alright myself. It runs in the family!
If I didn’t know better, I’d think my dad was just chilling in a frat house getting schlitzed…Is my dad drinking PBR? They obviously had better beer Dad, there are two other types of beer in this photo alone. Also where can I get that one dude’s sweater? My Dad is clearly the best looking dude here, but I really hope no woman other than my mother spoke to him. Sure, my dad was great, but please do not say you’d want to fuck him because that would be weird for me. Wow, war was sure a hell of a time!