Staff Editor-in-Chief Ashley “PTA Mom” Vernola Managing Editor Ariel “Bone-Hurting Meal” Leal Head Writer Jordan “Subaru Ascent” Hopkins Treasurer Peter “Double Vanity Sinks” Soucy Art Director Victoria “weed” Jenkins
NONSENSE GAME LABS PRESENTS
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PUNCHING PLANTS
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dle finger nature’s mid no food OR Weakness
We(e)b Team Bethany “Pergola” Foster James “Curb Appeal” Factora Rosario “Risotto” Navalta
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Bring your garden to life!!
W**D
Resistance
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these ladie
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nope
ouch pointy!! tasty treat (b ut not for you) Weakness
they do NOT
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Video Head Spencer “Greeeeeen thumb” Thurmond Faculty Advisor Amy “Wish You Were Here” Karofsky
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Resis
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those
aren’t
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moun tains
Cover
Moral Support Nathan “Janice” Elliott
James Factora
Page 2
Ads -Sam Riebs
Page 4
Contributing Staff / Mailbag
Page 5
Editorial -Ashley Vernola
Page 6
Page 14
Wowing at your HS Reunion -Robert Kinnaird Rob Thomas Toaster -Beth Foster
Page 15
Vape Juice -Lizzie Frank
Page 16
The Problem with Lawns -Marco Rubero
I Had Too Much Lawn -William Russell Faber
Page 17 The Problem with Lawns (cont.)
Dressing to Find Love At Applebees -Ashley Vernola
Page 18 I Can’t Find my House, Can I Have Yours? -Veronica Toone
Page 7 Money Making Hacks for the Modern Woman -Lizzie Frank Suburban Wookies -Beth Foster Page 8
Social Media Manager Anna “Yankee Candle” Galperin
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2
Design Directors Sam “Steamed Hams” Riebs Mark “Mulchin” Melchin
Contents
The Man Who Build -Ariel Leal DIY Gun -Brynne Levine and Tori Jenkins
Page 19
Recipe -Ashley Vernola I Need a Big Pot -Peter Soucy
Page 20 Bob the Destroyer -Mark Melchin Father Lawns -William Russell Faber
Page 9
Page 21
Page 10 What the Neighbors Don’t Need to Know -Robert Kinnaird
Page 22 Was DIY Worth It? -Nathan Elliot Comic -Emily Hart
Page 11
Page 23
The Man Who Build (cont.) The Perfect Tractor -Peter Soucy
Fuck your Tiny Home -William Russell Faber
Page 12 My Son Got Cut from JV Soccer -Brynne Levine and Tori Jenkins Suburban Dork collage -Lizzie Frank
Flow Chart (cont.) Flow Chart -Lizzie Frank
Your Garage Fucking Sucks -Mark Melchin
Back Cover
James Factora
Page 13
Point/Counterpoint: Eat my Haddock/Eat my Hammock -Ariel Leal
Disclaimer
Nonsense Humor Magazine is Hofstra’s only intentional semi-humorous magazine. Following any of our advice is not recommended as we’re all the kind of people who assemble furniture without reading the manual. The views expressed in this magazine most likely don’t represent the views of Hofstra University, or any other suburban neighborhood. Any likenesses to people, places, things, homemade recipes, furniture, lawns, plant, house, or lamp are purely coincidental. Nonsense Humor Magazine is not responsible for any rugburn, poison ivy infections, food poisoning, house foreclosures, ugly rooms, mistaking biscuit for brisket or acid reflux you may experience.