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POTENTIAL CANNIBALS As field reporters Ty “Dollaz” Barragan and Zachary “DTF” Johnson RAN FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES, they pondered the humanity of it all. Is it so bad that we lose a few poor college students in this Capitalist society? Perhaps these Cannibals were in fact onto something…

“First off, where are the people? I need more people.”

CARNY WOMAN Providing a riveting commentary of the Capitalist system, this poor enslaved woman struggled to sit correctly with the immense gold-plated shackles wrapped around her midrift. Poor and downtrodden by society (no doubt enslaved by Lord Commander Stewart Rabinowitz) the only solace she seemed to be able to find was in the IMMENSE FUCKING DRAGON HITS she took off of her vape. “uh.. uh… the airballoon game” she said, clearly unable to form coherent sentences after the grueling months of being locked away under Hofstra House since last year’s HofChella 2013.

*takes amazing dragon hit off of vape* “I’m working in here.“

Nonsense Humor would like to remind you not to feel pity for slaves of the capitalist system, for pity is a useless emotion that in no way contributes to the furthering of one’s wealth.

TWO UNSUSPICIOUS HOFSTRA FEMALES Curious about the nature of this “Zipper”, we here at Nonsense Humor put our Pop Culture experts onto the hunt. The findings were shocking.

“I’m so excited… the Zipper, I gotta do it.“

Using a discreet Pop Culture Terms and Slang database (otherwise known as “Urban Dictionary”) we found out the following about “Zipper”

The Fall Issue  

Nonsense covers all things autumn at Hofstra U. Sorry mom