lykken on leadership
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people that supposedly loved and related so well to each other that they committed to spend the rest of their lives together in what has to be the most intimate of all relationships, wake up one morning and say they now no longer want to be together? An “autopsy” of any failed marriage yields some interesting revelations as to why relationships fail. The cornerstone in the foundation of every relationship is our ability to “relate” to each other. Whether we are talking about a marriage of two (as in matrimony) or the “marriage” of a group of people working together (as in a company), the degree to which those interacting parties relate with each other is to the same degree to which those parties will succeed or fail at whatever they collectively set out to do together. Therefore, it comes down to the answer to the million-dollar question: “How can we relate more effectively with each other?” So let’s bring this discussion a bit closer to home. Let’s talk about YOU and YOUR communication style.
A Melancholic person is a someone who is a more self-less, kind, tender hearted, quieter, sensitive, takes on causes of others and more concerned about right & wrong.
A Sanguine person is generally light-hearted, fun-loving, a people person, loves to entertain, spontaneous, confident and can be more selfish. They can lack focus and be impulsive.
SEPTEMBER 2011
TENNESSEE MORTGAGE PROFESSIONAL MAGAZINE
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First of all, do you know what your personality type is? Take a moment and study the diagram below. Which of the four personality types are you most like … the Social Worker (melancholic) type, the Cheerleader (sanguine) type, the Accountant-Engineer (phlegmatic) type or the Army General (choleric) type? It is important that you accurately understand and know who you are so you can better relate to others. How well we relate and communicate with each other has as much to do with our personality types as anything, and therefore, it is essential that we would do well to incorporate a thorough understanding of these four personality types in our day-today communication. As a way of driving this point home, I will use myself in contrast to my two business partners as examples. I am definitely an outgoing sanguine (blue) personality type. The description of the sanguine person describes me to a “T.” I have a tendency to “think (process) out loud,“ involving
others in my thoughts. Therefore, I find myself using a few more words to communicate my ideas, than some would like. I have two business partners, Chuck Klein and Andy Schell. Chuck is definitely a choleric (red) personality type who typically “thinks before he speaks” and uses far less words to communicate his thoughts than I do. I know there are times where Chuck wishes that I could “get to the point” faster, but at the same time he has learned to understand, appreciate and even value my sanguine nature. By me processing my thoughts out loud, he gets a perspective he may not have considered. Another benefit is that he never has to wonder where I am at which appeals to his choleric “in-control” nature. Nonetheless, I have made adjustments to more effectively “relate” to Chuck’s nature. Then, there is my other business partner, Andy, who has more of phlegmatic personality (green) type. Interestingly, he is a CPA. While Andy might agree with Chuck about “getting to the point,” my phlegmatic business partner Andy would prefer me simply getting to the facts and figures and explain the return-on-investment (ROI) of whatever we are talking about. There are times when I can see strain come
A Phlegmatic person thinks things through, is calm, unemotional, consistent/even temperment, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats.
A Choleric is a goaloriented, ambitious, very self-confident in what he believes the facts to be, wants info in bullets “short & to the point”, can be a control freak... has a very dominate personality.
across Andy’s face if my sanguine expressive nature is taking too long to get to the point. You see, us sanguine types are more interested in communicating in a colorful and enthusiastic way how we feel about something, rather than simply providing the “boring” facts and figures. Having worked together as business partners now over the past five years, we have learned to make adjustments as it relates to our personality types. We have come together as a cohesive and effective team that has a balance of perspectives. To the degree that you become familiar with other personality types is to the same degree to which you have a better chance of relating to a greater number of people. Whether someone is introverted or extraverted, fun-loving or more serious, intuitive versus logical, or motivated to take action by how they “feel” about something, all plays into how you need to respond. If you don’t know who you are, you will become very confused. However, when you have solidly established who you are, then and only then, can you truly make adjustments to connect and relate with more people. The hardest people to relate to are those who are confused about exactly who they are. What is interesting is that some people project themselves to have one personality type publicly when that doesn’t represent who they are in reality. That is why we recommend a higher end personality assessment tool such as the Birkman Method, something that will be discussed in more detail in next month’s article. But most have a reasonable sense of who they are, and I am excited to begin to teach you specific skills on how to make adjustments on how you communicate so can relate more effectively to a greater number of people. Also, it will make you a more effective leader. And for LOs, these skills can have a positive impact on attracting more business and more loans. So, your homework between now and next month’s article is to study these four personality types and become thoroughly familiar with them. Then, you will be prepared for next month’s article, the second installment in this series on communication. David Lykken is president of mortgage strategies and managing partner with Mortgage Banking Solutions. He has more than 35 years of industry experience and has garnered a national reputation, and has become a frequent guest on FOX Business News with Neil Cavuto, Stuart Varney, Liz Claman and Dave Asman with additional guest appearances on the CBS Evening News, Bloomberg TV and radio. He may be reached by phone at (512) 9779900, ext. 10, or e-mail dlykken@mortgagebankingsolutions.com or dlykken@mbsteam.com.
To listen to author David Lykken’s online radio show, “Lykken on Lending,” log on to www.lykkenonlending.com.