38 LOVE&LIVING
NEW TELEGRAPH ON SATURDAY 19 JUly 2014
Lovers in Court
True Confession From Overseas
'I am not the father of that child'
'I fed my husband soap'
N
ight after night it happened. His "nights out with the boys" went on seven times a week. My husband would come staggering in after a hard night at the local, no excuses, just demands for his evening meal. Always it was ready, warmed up, ready to eat. This went on for years until I had had enough and figured out a way to pay him back. At first I left his dinner in the oven until it was dried out. He didn't seem to notice. So I tried putting it in the fridge, serving it ice cold — still he ate it. Then I turned to curries — I would put five chillies and three heaped teaspoons of curry powder in his meal,
he'd just sweat more and his eyes would water. Finally, in desperation, I thought I had the best weapon. I cooked his favourite meal — grilled sausages with gravy, mashed potato with cheese on top and greens. I went one step further though and substituted yellow soap for the cheese. As I grated it over the meal, it melted over the top of the mashed potato and if I hadn't known what it was, I could have eaten it myself. The anticipation of seeing his face when he had his first mouthful was almost more than I could handle. Finally the car lights came up the driveway, the meal was on the table ready to eat. I sat opposite him, so I could get a good view of his expression. But after eating it, all he said was,
Abimbola Sodeke
A "What a great meal!" I left the house early the next morning — I didn't wait around to see or hear the outcome, but I bet it was a smooth ride out on bubbles and froth! We've been married for 46 years. He doesn't drink alcohol any more. Courtesy: ninems
SEXUAL COMMUNICATION
Can having sex early in pregnancy cause miscarriage? I've had sex several times since I discovered I was pregnant. I've been experiencing some spotting, much like a light period. This morning I woke up and used the restroom and it was all blood. I've been experiencing minor cramps as well. Is this a sign of miscarriage? From Ada. Answer: Spotting can happen after sex and is normal. Your cervix can become irritated which could be responsible for your light bleeding after having sex. Sex does not cause a miscarriage but it can sometimes increase the chances if you are a high risk. Sometimes the doctor will say no intercourse or no orgasm as a precaution (when that's the case). Anytime you have bright red bleeding especially with cramps, you need to go see a doctor immediately. Those are warning signs and you don't want to mess around with it. It doesn't mean miscarriage but it's better to be safe than sorry. It could be a case of a weak cervix which some women have.
Wedding Traditions
Cajun Broom Dance
C
ajuns are a group of people largely residing in southern Louisiana, a region rich with the history of several cultures. Descended from the Acadians, French settlers from Atlantic Canada, today they celebrate a diverse and vibrant culture unlike any other. During the 17th and 18th centuries, French settlers emigrated to modern-day Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island. Here they founded communities in the region that came to be known as Acadia. This French colony thrived for over a century. In 1754, France went to war with Great Britain in North America over lucrative fishing and fur-trapping efforts, a conflict known as the Seven Years' War. This conflict ended in defeat for the French with the Treaty of Paris in 1763. France was forced to give up their rights to their colonies in North America as a term of that treaty. During the war the
Acadians were exiled from the land they'd occupied for over a century, a process known as the Great Disturbance. The exiled Acadians resettled in many locations including the British North American colonies, France, England, the Caribbean and for some, a Spanish colony known as Louisiana. The Cajun people developed interesting traditions to compensate for the fact they were often isolated from the rest of the world. Since it could take weeks for a religious official to visit an area, betrothed Cajun couples would ceremoniously jump over a broom, signifying their marriage. The broom has continued to play an important role in Cajun wedding ceremonies. Older unmarried siblings of both the bride and groom dance with a broom at the reception, mocking their single state. The single ladies dancing with the broom simply say they are dancing with Mr. Broomstick.
26-year-old student, Uche Ogwulehi, has pleaded with a Lagos customary court to dissolve her union with her husband, Chukwuma Ezindu, and make him take responsibility for the child she has for him. Ogwulehi claimed that there was no more love in the marriage and that she and her husband had been separated for four years. According to her, Ezindu did not care for her and her child. Ogwulehi told the court that her problems with her husband started when she went for ante-natal at a hospital and didn't know the day was a public holiday. "My husband dropped me at the park where I took bus to the hospital. On getting there, I discovered it was a public holiday, so I went to visit my mum. While I was there, it started raining, so I could not leave on time. Suddenly, my husband called to ask if I was there but I told my mother to tell him i wasn't there. "When i got home that night, I knelt to beg him to forgive me. I told him that I did what I did because I was scared. He just told me to get up. I could not sleep that night because i didn't know what his next action would be, until the next morning when he took me back to my parents' home without even allowing me to dress properly before leaving the house. "A week later, I gave birth and the water that was supposed to come out of a woman's private part was coming out of my nose and mouth. My daddy called him to bring the baby's things but he told my daddy to go and buy new ones because he wasn't going to come with the items I left in his house. "Since then we have been separated for four years and I have not set my eyes on him until today in court. Even when the child was born, he didn't come to check on us," she narrated. However, her husband, Ezindu, accused her of betraying his trust and having a child through an extra-marital affair. "If I didn't love her, I would not have spent money to marry her. But all I know is that I don't want any child with her. In 2008 after we did our traditional marriage, she went back to school. She didn't come home for about four months. Then one day, she called me to tell me she was sick but didn't know what exactly was wrong with her. I told her to go to the hospital and afterwards she was confirmed pregnant. "We hid it from my family because my mother was sick and our white wedding preparation was on. So we had to do the wedding after which I registered her for ante-natal. "While she was still pregnant and attending antenatal, she packed her bags herself and left home claiming that she had seen someone else to marry. "That child isn't my child. I don't know where she got the pregnancy from," Ezindu said.