Gray
Baby Boomers Bail from Divorce: Marriages at Alarming Rates
BY ROBERT D. BOYD AND JEANETTE LINVILLE
T
he term “gray divorce” describes the growing trend of couples in their 50s and older choosing to end their marriages by divorce. This phenomenon came into the public eye in 2004 when the AARP conducted a study called “The Divorce Experience: A Study of Divorce at Midlife and Beyond.” Since then, a number of high profile “gray divorces” have been played out in the media, including Al and Tipper Gore, who chose to split at the ages of 62 and 61, respectively, after four decades of marriage. Actors and executives alike, including Danny DeVito, Morgan Freeman, Sumner Redstone and Jack Welch, have all sought divorces in their 60s and 70s. However, these gray divorces are not limited to the rich and famous. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) recently conducted an online poll of 1,600 divorce lawyers, and 61 percent reported that they have seen an increase in the number of divorces among people over age 50. This number is supported by research done by Susan L. Brown of the Department of Sociology
and National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University. Brown found that the divorce rate among adults ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. She further found that roughly one in four divorces in 2010 occurred to people ages 50 and older.
The divorce rate among adults ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010s. There are a variety of reasons why the divorce rate of Americans over the age of 50 is growing. Some attribute the trend to longer life spans and more people reaching the age of retirement. Others point to women’s increasing financial independence. Couples often choose to wait until their children have left home to separate. In addition, it is now easier to get a divorce and there is a greater social acceptance of divorce. It may be the culture and ideology of the baby boomers that has caused the increase in gray divorces. As a generation, baby boomers have constantly challenged and reframed traditional values. They epitomize the practice of self-examination, individual growth,
reflection and self actualization. Baby boomers, according to Brown, entered marriages with expectations emphasizing satisfaction of personal needs. If those needs are not met, divorce may be an avenue to achieve life’s dreams. Whatever the reason, the gray divorce phenomenon appears to be a reality for older Americans. As these divorces usually follow lengthy marriages, there are a number of issues that can be especially contentious. The AAML survey found that alimony, business interests, retirement accounts and pensions were the most commonly fought over issues (in descending order) for couples divorcing after age 50. Along with memories and experiences, long marriages accumulate things. This means more assets, more deeply intertwined accounts and more liabilities to be divided when the marriage dissolves. If you are part of this group thinking about divorce past age 50, consider the following:
marital finances. Know what your family’s wealth and debt are. If your spouse has typically handled bills, learn how much things cost. Get records and make copies of them! This includes credit reports, bills, mortgage statements, investment documents, bank accounts and any other financial records. Be open to settlement. Mediation can be a great way to resolve any issues with your spouse, but only if you have completed the items above. Generally, having a stranger—such as a judge—determine one’s financial future is not a good plan. Trying to work it out between the people who know the relationship best, i.e. you and your spouse, is almost always preferable to going to court. However, get the input of a lawyer before any settlement is final.
Be prepared for change.
Depending on the length of your marriage, you have most likely become accustomed to a certain routine and lifestyle that will invariably change. Money may be tighter than it was during the marriage, as it is more expensive to run two households. Women may find themselves returning to the work force after many years at home. Additionally, keeping the marital home may be more of a burden than a blessing. Although change is hard, it does not Get help from an expert. The mean that there is not life after gray didivorce process is complicated, and vorce. Of those interviewed by AARP’s you should not navigate it alone. Arm 2004 study, 76 percent of divorcees yourself with experts who will have felt they made the right decision in your best interest in mind. Choose choosing to dissolve the marriage. individuals you can trust and who will Authors Robert D. Boyd and Jeanette provide you with legal advice, finanLinville are with Boyd Collar Nolen & cial expertise and emotional support. Tuggle LLC in Atlanta. Attorneys at the Get educated about your finances. firm counsel clients on a number of matMost divorce cases, especially gray ters related to divorce. Boyd and Linville divorces with more significant assets, may be reached at (770) 953-4300 or are dominated by financial determinaby email at bboyd@bcntlaw.com or tions. You must be educated about your jlinville@bcntlaw.com, respectively. Lifestyles After 50 • November 2013 • page 9