S 2014 07 31

Brazilian bikini-wax fight see Ask Joey, page 31

CoCktail Challenge

is back! see Arts&Culture, page 22

SACto: where wAter hogS profit see Bites, page 13

SN&R shares cRazy camping stories and 15 aweSome outdoor spots

bikeS VS. carS (AgAin) see News, page 9

Vote

at BestOfsac.cOm see page 26

Sacramento’S newS & entertainment weekly

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Volume 26, iSSue 15

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thurSday, July 31, 2014

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July 31, 2014 | vol. 26, issue 15

Smart or dumb?

I’ve received more parking tickets than there are Tupac albums (including posthumous) during my driving days in Sacramento. But last week was a first: I paid for a parking spot but an enforcement officer still wrote me a ticket.

On Thursday afternoon, I bought about an hour’s worth of time at one of those green “pay and display” towers. You know, the ones where it takes four years for your credit card to process, then you put the sticker on your car window. Not long ago, these were supposed to be the future of Sacramento parking. Now, apparently, they’re obsolete and need to be replaced.

Anyway, the city allows drivers to park at coin-meter spots with pay-and-display stickers. Or should I say allowed: This had been the rule for years because most people don’t have enough quarters in their ashtrays, and the green towers let you use cards.

Well, new rule, Sacramento: You can’t use pay-and-display stickers at the city’s new “smart” meters.

This policy has been in place since February: The recently installed meters accept the same payment as those green towers, so you can’t use the pay-and-display stickers at them. Only at those old dumb meters. Got that?

I cussed my way to City Hall, paid for more parking, waited a half-hour, and filled out a form to contest my $42.50 ticket. An employee, a really nice guy, said it would be “three to six months” until I hear back regarding my appeal.

What?! Turns out, even though there are “123.5 full-time employees” in the city’s Parking Services Division, only one of them handles citation appeals.

I’m hoping the city cuts me a break. But I get it: Gotta pay for that new arena somehow.

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NEWS OPINION + bites FEATuRE STORy ARTS&CuLTuRE NIgHT&DAy DISH ASK JOEy STAgE FILM MuSIC + sound Advice THE 420 15 MINuTES

34 Jeff Hudson, Jim Lane, Garrett McCord, Kel Munger, Kate Paloy, Jessica Rine, Patti Roberts, Ann Martin Rolke, Steph Rodriguez Creative Director Priscilla Garcia Art Director Hayley Doshay Junior Art Director Brian Breneman Designers Melissa Bernard, Brad Coates, Kyle Shine, Skyler Smith Design Intern Geraldine Centinaje Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Steven Chea, Wes Davis, Ryan Donahue, Taras Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Shoka

Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Co-editors Rachel Leibrock, Nick Miller Staff Writers Janelle Bitker, Raheem F. Hosseini Copy Editor Shoka Shafiee Entertainment Editor Jonathan Mendick Editorial Coordinator Becca Costello Contributing Editor Cosmo Garvin Editor-at-large Melinda Welsh Editorial Interns Tiffani Dangelico, Alex Hernandez, Rudy Raya Contributors Ngaio Bealum, Daniel Barnes, Rob Brezsny, Jim Carnes, Cody Drabble, Deena Drewis, Joey Garcia, Blake Gillespie, Becky Grunewald,

—Nick Miller

LETTERS

COVER ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN BRENEMAN ANd HAYLEY dOSHAY

36

nic kam@ ne ws r ev i ew . com

STREETALK

05 07 09 12 16 22 25 27 31 32 34 36 43 59

Director of Advertising and Sales Rick Brown Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Joy Webber Advertising Consultants Joseph Barcelon, Meghan Bingen, Teri Gorman, Dusty Hamilton, Dave Nettles, Lee Roberts, Julie Sherry, Kelsi White Senior Inside Sales Consultant Olla Ubay Ad Services Specialist Jovi Radtke Director of Et Cetera Will Niespodzinski Custom Publications Editor Michelle Carl

Custom Publications Managing Editor Shannon Springmeyer Custom Publications Writer/Copy Editor Mike Blount Executive Coordinator Jessica Takehara Directors of First Impressions Courtney DeShields, Matt Kjar Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Daniel Bowen, Russell Brown, Nina Castro, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, John Cunningham, Lob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Aaron Harvey, Wayne Hopkins, Brenda Hundley, Greg Meyers, Kenneth Powell, Wendell Powell, Lloyd Rongley, Lolu Sholotan, Jack Thorne President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Human Resources Manager Tanja Poley Business Manager Grant Rosenquist Accounting Specialist Tami Sandoval Accounts Receivable Specialist Nicole Jackson Sweetdeals Coordinator Alicia Brimhall Lead Technology Synthesist Jonathan Schultz Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek

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Advertising Policies All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

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“I loved her from preschool to fifth grade.”

Asked at the Capitol:

Were you expecting your first kiss?

John Fallick

Kate Thompson

Joshua Fallick

locksmith

U.S. Navy sailor

I was 6 or 7, at school. She was talking to me, flirting a little bit. I gave her a kiss, and she smacked me so hard. No kisses with her after that. She hit me so hard, it felt like a baseball bat.

I was 4 years old. Her name was Tyler. It was happening, man. The parents suspected it, and they were loving it.

It happened in the YMCA gymnasium. I loved her from preschool to fifth grade.

I could barely walk, but I could kiss. I made the first move. I’m a man, dude!

I make the first move all the time, even in preschool.

Matthew Ivary

Anthony Salinas

stay-at-home mom

psychiatric technician

I was expecting it. He just looked excited, and he was coming toward me.

I was 14. We were at the movie theater, and he led me to the back row. It was Awakenings with Robin Williams. It’s not really a make-out movie.

No. I was 15. It was at school with a girl, but I forgot her name. We were in the middle of the hallway. She rushed me. We were talking, and then out of the blue. That was the last kiss with her, too. I don’t know why.

William Thompson

retired

bank teller

It was a complete surprise.

I was 14. I didn’t think she liked me. Her name was Alise. It was sort of a date at an ice-cream social in eighth grade. We were at Botts Ice Cream shop in Berkeley. I had coffee, she had peppermint. She was really cute.

She was looking at me, like, “Make the move, dude.”

I was 16. It wasn’t bad, and there was some follow-up kissing. We were on a date, not an official date, but we were in a parking lot standing next to a random car. My friends were off to the side, but I know they were watching. It went well, kinda awkward but still awesome.

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Barry Broad

p r es i den t , The J ew i s h F eder at i on of t he S a c ra m e nt o Re g i o n

K.J. and NestlĂŠ Re “NestlĂŠ and droughtâ€? (SN&R Editorial, July 24): I could not agree more with your editorial on how insane it is to let an outfit like NestlĂŠ pump out our water (purchased at discounted rates) to sell for profit elsewhere.

But how did NestlĂŠ get to bottle hundreds of thousands of gallons of our water in the first place?

It was my first bitter taste of mayoral leadership, Kevin Johnson style. Based solely on my recollection of news stories at the time, he invited NestlÊ in under the cover of darkness—without involving the city council or the public at all until the deal was cut. His reason for trading our water for the presence of this company, which had been told to get lost by Redding and other California cities, was reportedly to show that he, K.J., could bring in new businesses, with all the good that it brings, i.e., development and revitalization. I suppose to some that outweighed the fact that he was punting away our resources, with the threat of drought always looming.

I believe responsible city leadership would have made the need to protect our scarce water a top priority, outweighing whatever benefits there might be from having NestlĂŠ here.

Miles D. Wichelns via email

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We need more veteran’s court-style justice Re “Veteran’s court comes to Sacramento� by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R News, July 10): Excellent idea. Now let’s expand this perspective to examine the traumatic experiences of all criminals when doling out punishment and/or rehabilitation.

How many people who commit violent or drug-related offenses have experienced trauma and abuse emotionally, sexually or physically? Doesn’t this increase the likelihood of behavioral disturbances and deviance across the board, statistically speaking?

Or, gee, would that just indicate that criminals are also people with complex stories going through challenging experiences, perhaps with little or no support, and that there may be better ways to alter their behavioral patterns than the “corrections� industry, regardless of whether they’ve survived an overseas battlefield or have merely been battling against poverty, disease, abuse and addiction for most of their lives?

Lee Aykin Sacramento

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Email your letters to sactoletters@ newsreview.com.

@SacNewsReview

Facebook.com/ SacNewsReview

@SacNewsReview

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Re “Holy messâ€? by Nick Miller (SN&R Editor’s Note, July 17): Nick Miller writes, “The recent Israeli air assault on the Gaza Strip ‌ will happen again ‌ if the world doesn’t convene and engage on meaningful issues such as the blockade, the settlements and the embargoes.â€? These words clearly lay all of the blame for the recent Middle East conflict on Israel with nary a meaningful mention of Hamas, the internationally letter of the week recognized terrorist organization that has fired nearly 2,000 missiles into Israel during the past two weeks and more than 14,000 since 2005, when Israel completely withdrew its military and all settlers in the hopes of exchanging land for peace.

Who would Miller blame if rockets were being fired into Sacramento, the Bay Area or Los Angeles, and if the United States acted to defend its citizens?

It is Miller’s hope that world leaders can “pressure Israel to stop all air attacks and a ground invasion�? My hope is that the same world leaders can pressure Hamas to stop firing rockets into Israel and stop building tunnels with concrete that was supposed to be used to build houses for its citizens.

We all hope for a cease-fire and the end to the loss of all lives. Unlike the previously proposed cease-fire, let’s hope Hamas will accept the next one.

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Fracking up our water See NEWS

See SCOREKEEPER

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Death to the death penalty See EDITORIAL

15

Human speed bump

Photo by Nick Miller

11

Paul Ryan sucks

John Bontemps almost died riding his bike in Sacramento.

He isn’t the only one.

From the moment that black sedan blasted into John Bontemps at 40 mph, the 47-year-old’s by brain recorded every excruciating detail.

Raheem He remembers the explosion to his right F. Hosseini side, which launched him 3 feet above traffic-snarled Arden Way like humanra h e emh@ newsr evie w.c om cannon fodder. He remembers feeling his insides shift and splinter upon slamming the asphalt. And he remembers the indiscriminate voices that pegged him for dead.

“I was aware of everything,” Bontemps says more than three months after the April 14 wreck left him a dazed, twitching puddle in front of Arden Fair mall. “I even heard the paramedics say I’m not going to make it.”

Bontemps suffered fractured ribs, a cracked pelvis, lacerated liver, small aortic tear, concussion and chewed-up right arm, which still has glass shards embedded under pulpy scar tissue.

Not listed on his discharge papers from UC Davis Medical Center is the psychlogical trauma that left him another pulverized speed bump in Sacramento’s car vs. bicycle commuter war.

According to the California Highway Patrol’s Statewide Integrated Traffic Records System, there were 206 bicyclerelated collisions in the city of Sacramento between January 1, 2013, and January 1, 2014. One proved fatal when a 2008 GMC struck an 18-year-old man on Natomas Boulevard near North Bend Drive last October. Fifteen more collisions resulted in severe injuries to bicyclists, including a 12-year-old boy and an 87-year-old man.

According to the data, most of these injury accidents were due to rider error, with cars having the right of way or cyclists traveling the wrong direction or making unsafe turns and lane changes, 58.2 percent of the time.

But Jim Brown, executive director of Sacramento Area Bicycle Advocates, cautions not to take these figures at face value. “Bicyclists are assigned blame in ways that are sometimes arbitrary,” he says.

Sacramento bicyclists will use the sidewalk or pedal against traffic if not doing so proves more perilous, Brown explains.

“For some people, they ride against traffic because it feels safer,” he says. “They can see what’s coming at them.”

In the central city, Brown lists L Street west of 15th Street, I Street BEFORE

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John Bontemps, 47, remembers much more than he’d like about the near-fatal April 14 accident in which a 1998 Toyota Corolla struck him while he bicycled across Arden Way.

west of 21st Street, Q Street near the Interstate 5 on-ramp, and J Street between 15th Street and Alhambra Boulevard as particularly dangerous.

Outside of the grid, bustling thoroughfares like Watt, Howe, El Camino and Marconi avenues, as well as Arden Way, jack up riders’ blood pressure. That’s because they’re designed to facilitate large volumes of traffic from urban job sites to the suburbs, and back, Brown says.

The fact that Stockton Boulevard used to be a state highway attests to how cars slingshot through it today, and is one of the reasons that the Stockton-Fruitridge Road intersection is Sacramento’s most prolific for bicycle- and pedestriancollisions, he adds.

At the statewide level, motorists will He spent eight days in the trauma unit, need to give bicyclists 3 feet of clearance or where his mother Betty kept him company. pass them slowly beginning in September, “I knew he would pull through because all the CHP states. my kids have my [late] husband’s DNA,” According to the most recent data she says. “He’s a good kid. He’s just homebreakdown from the state, bicyclingless at the moment and taking a while to get related deaths and injuries rose steadily in off the street.”

California between 2007 and 2011, when Bontemps worked in the nightclub they hit a four-year high. In total, 140 industry for 11 years before relocating bicyclists were killed and more than 13,000 from Atlanta. He worked as a cook and were injured in collisions in 2011. followed that up with some under-theLocally, 10 bicyclists died and another table jobs, but says the recession knocked 549 were injured in collisions across him down.

Sacramento County in 2011, most of which He’s been trying to get back up occurred in the city or unincorporated ever since. county. Of those who were killed or When Bontemps doesn’t panhandle injured, a whopping 84 percent didn’t wear enough cash for a motel room, he stays up safety equipment, figures show. riding his bike, then grabs five or six hours The biggest proportion of those of shut-eye on the light rail, until security injured in bicycle accidents across the rousts him. It’s an even tougher grind while state are ages 15-24, while the largest recovering from major injuries.

“I thought I was proportion of bicycle fatalities is felt in Dressed in grimy jeans and munching spinning. I wasn’t the 45-54 age group. a hot dog, Bontemps nods at the bicycle Bontemps barely avoided joining that in the lobby. It’s his seventh since the spinning. I was latter category. He acknowledges commitaccident. The others have all gotten flying through ting too quickly to crossing Arden Way, jacked. where he found himself trapped between This wasn’t his first close call, either, the air.” whooshing lanes of traffic. “I was definitely and Bontemps says numerous homeless in the wrong,” he says. bicyclists are struck by cars without John Bontemps Before he knew it, a 1998 Toyota anything ever happening. “Sacramento’s on how it felt to be hit by a car Corolla jerked into the next lane and clobpretty coldhearted,” he says. moving at 40 mph bered him. “I thought I was spinning,” he He’s on multiple medications for pain says, eyes tearing up. “I wasn’t spinning. I and to keep the arterial swelling in his heart Brown’s organization comments on was flying through the air.” down, and has consolidated all his pills into development proposals and is urging the An ambulance arrived within minutes. one orange bottle. In about 40 days, he’s city of Sacramento to make meaningful On the way to the hospital, Bontemps supposed to return to the hospital for a CT updates to a bicycle master plan that’s says paramedics had him sign three scan of his wounded heart, something he remained largely unchanged since the pieces of paper before he passed out. may have to do every six months for the mid-’90s, he says. But that could prove They turned out to be medical insurrest of his life. hard. “We’ve kind of got this systemic ance forms. Before the staff wheeled “It’s all scary,” he says. “It’s condition that works against making the his gurney into the emergency room, life, man.” Ω kind of changes we need to make,” he says. Bontemps had Medi-Cal. F E A T U R E S T O R Y | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R | 07.31.14 | SN&R | 9

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Bad gas

BEATS

Is the oil industry fracking up our drinking water?

California officials ordered an emergency shutdown last month of 11 oil and gas waste-injection sites—and a review of by more than 100 others—in the state’s Abrahm Lustgarten drought-wracked Central Valley out of fear that companies may have been pumping fracking fluids and other toxic waste into drinking-water aquifers there.

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On July 7, the state’s Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources issued cease-and-desist orders to seven energy companies, warning that they may be injecting waste into aquifers that could be a source of drinking water and posing “a danger to life, health, property, and natural resources.” State officials say the investigation is expanding to look at additional wells.

The action comes as California’s agriculture industry copes with a drought crisis that has emptied reservoirs and cost the state $2.2 billion this year alone. The lack of water has forced farmers across the state to supplement their water supply from underground aquifers, according to a study released last week by UC Davis.

The problem is that at least 100 of the state’s aquifers were presumed to be useless for drinking and farming because the water was

A UC Davis study released last week reported that farmers statewide are dipping into aquifers to water their crops. California officials worry that fracking might have poisoned this groundwater—which some of us might be drinking.

This report was produced by ProPublica.

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either of poor quality or too deep underground to easily access. Years ago, the state exempted these aquifers from environmental protection and allowed the oil and gas industry to intentionally pollute them. But not all aquifers are exempted, and the system amounts to a patchwork of protected and unprotected water resources deep underground. Now, according to the cease-and-desist orders issued by the state, it appears that at least seven injection wells are likely pumping waste into freshwater aquifers protected by the law, and not into other aquifers sacrificed by the state long ago.

A 2012 ProPublica investigation of more than 700,000 injection wells across the country found that wells were often poorly regulated and experienced high rates of failure— outcomes that were likely polluting underground water supplies that are supposed to be protected by federal law. That investigation also disclosed a little-known program overseen by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency that exempted more than 1,000 other drinking-water aquifers— many of them in California—from any sort of pollution protection at all.

Those are the aquifers at issue today. According to documents the state filed with the U.S. EPA in 1981 and that were obtained by ProPublica, the exempted aquifers were poorly defined and ambiguously outlined.

They were often identified by handdrawn lines on a map, making it difficult to know today exactly which bodies of water were supposed to be protected. Those exemptions and documents were signed by Gov. Jerry Brown in 1981.

State officials emphasized that they will now order water testing and monitoring at the injection well sites in question. “We do not have any direct evidence any drinking water has been affected,” wrote Steve Bohlen, the state oil and gas supervisor, in a statement.

Bohlen said his office was acting “out of an abundance of caution.” A spokesperson said the state became aware of the problems through a review of facilities it was conducting according to California’s fracking law passed late last year, which required the state to study fracking impacts and adopt regulations to address its risks, including underground disposal.

California officials have long been under fire for their injection-well practices, a waste-disposal program that

F E AT U R E

STORY

Credit SWAT

the state runs according to federal law and under a sort of license—called “primacy”—given to it by the EPA. For one, experts say that aquifers the states and the EPA once thought would never be needed may soon become important sources of water.

Indeed, towns in Wyoming and Texas—two states also suffering long-term droughts—are pumping, treating and delivering drinking water to taps from aquifers that would be considered unusable under California state regulations.

“Our drinking water sources must be protected … not sacrificed as a garbage dump for the oil and gas industry.”

Damon Nagami Natural Resources Defense Council In June 2011, the EPA conducted a review of other aspects of California’s injection-well program and found enforcement, testing and oversight problems so significant that the agency demanded California improve its regulations and warned that the state’s authority could be revoked.

The EPA’s report also said that California regulators routinely failed to adequately examine the geology around an injection well to ensure that fluids pumped into it would not leak underground and contaminate drinking-water aquifers. The report found that state inspectors often allowed injection at pressures that exceeded the capabilities of the wells and thus risked cracking the surrounding rock and spreading contaminants.

Several accidents in recent years in California involved injected waste or injected steam leaking back out of abandoned wells, or blowing out of the ground and creating sinkholes.

The exemptions and other failings, said Damon Nagami, a senior attorney with the Natural Resources Defense Council in an email, are “especially disturbing” in a state that has been keenly aware of severe water constraints for more than a century.

“Our drinking water sources must be protected and preserved for the precious resources they are, not sacrificed as a garbage dump for the oil and gas industry.” Ω

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A multi-agency operation resulted in the apprehension of an accused financial fraudster last week, 12 days after a victim learned a credit card had been compromised while visiting an ATM at the California State Fair.

Darius Deangelo Evans, 21, was arrested on July 23 at a residence on the 7200 block of Greenhaven Drive in Sacramento. A Cal Expo Police Department release says a search warrant turned up a veritable one-man credit-card manufacturing ring, with “numerous credit cards in various stages of creation,” several thousand dollars in cash and a loaded handgun.

The Sacramento Police Department’s SWAT team took part in the apprehension of Evans. Cal Expo Police Department spokeswoman Lara N. Popyack said the existence of an outside-county warrant, as well as the belief that Evans was “known to have firearms,” merited the use of a SWAT team.

Asked if there was formal criteria for deploying the tactical unit, Sacramento police Officer Michele Gigante said evaluations are made on a case-by-case basis. A suspect’s criminal history or the history of others believed to be inside the dwelling can be factors, as well as the presence of potential hostages. But she also said the team can be deployed any time an arrest warrant is served. “If we have the resources and the ability to use [SWAT], we use them.” (Raheem F. Hosseini)

Poo-water pipeline A taxing drought has brought new urgency to a 10-year-old promise to reduce Sacramento’s water consumption by 20 million gallons by 2024.

The Sacramento Regional County Sanitation District, which treats the area’s wastewater, plans to build a 6-mile pipeline by 2016 to deliver treated, recycled effluent to the cooling station of a south Sacramento power plant. The plant, at the site of the former Campbell’s Soup factory that closed last year, is now using potable water for its cooling needs, while current treated effluent goes into the Sacramento River.

According to the district’s lead engineer, Prabhakar Somavarapu, the pipeline will eventually carry treated wastewater for the community’s landscaping and irrigation needs, as well.

A district report says state grants will provide $3.6 million for the pipeline project, with the district on the hook for the remaining $12 million.

The pipeline must still be approved by the district’s board of directors and is just one of two projects that the district has planned. The second is at least eight years away, and aims to eliminate farmers’ groundwater usage by providing them with 40 million gallons of water per day.

Groundwater depletion is causing the Earth’s surface to sink in places as underground reservoirs are used up. This is also causing surface streams that once flowed year-round to disappear in the summer months. “By sending the farmers water, that will allow the groundwater reservoirs to fill back up,” Somavarapu said. “But that’s still a future project.”

The public has until August 27 to comment on an environmental-impact report studying the pipeline’s impacts. If approved, construction could begin next summer. (Alastair Bland)

Buyer’s remorse A man trying to buy drugs called the cops on Saturday after his purported dealer punched him in the face and sped off with his cash, according to a Sacramento Police Department log.

The victim hailed a police officer shortly after the nondeal went down on the 2400 block of Del Paso Boulevard. The log says the man clung to the suspect’s vehicle as it drove off, which is when the suspect slugged him. (RFH)

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by SN&R staff

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Let’s make a deal

Former vice-presidential candidate Congressman Paul Ryan unveiled a new version of the GOP’s old plan to make life shittier for the country’s poorest residents. This time, he wants to consolidate safety-net services like food stamps and give oversight powers to the states. Do these guys ever stop?

The Sacramento Kings negotiated a new TV-telecast deal with Comcast, which will nearly triple the team’s current $11 milliona-year contract. This also puts it in the top 10 when it comes to lucrative NBA television deals. Great! Does this mean it’s kicking in more for the arena?

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The Sacramento Republic FC beat the Pittsburgh

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Riverhounds on Sunday.

More impressively, 8,000 tickets were sold, again—the team’s ninth sellout. And even more impressively, Republic FC broke the United Soccer Leagues Pro singleseason attendance record with 118,107. With six more home games left, Sacramento’s going to leave Orlando City Soccer Club’s previous record of 112,748 far, far behind.

Homeless hater?

Don’t fee the rush

Sacramento Bee columnist Ryan Lillis tweeted that Loaves & Fishes is “running out of bottled water for homeless.” Then, Bee fellow columnist Dan Walters replies: “Seems to me they could bring empty bottles back for refills. That’s what I do.” Way to tell ’em, Dan. Because homeless folk don’t have to walk miles for water, and their everyday life is just as easy as it is for you, boss.

Old Sacramento’s annual Gold Rush Days is the latest drought victim. Usually tons of dirt is plopped onto Old Sac’s streets for horses and wagons, but said dirt also requires 3,000 gallons of water per day to keep things moist. Plus 100,000 gallons for cleanup. Meanwhile, no historically inaccurate shoot-outs, either.

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Message in a bottle Sacramento: Where water hogs profit and residents pay fines The editorialists at SN&R last week weighed in with a timely reminder that—in the middle of the driest period in California’s recorded history— we are cheaply selling off Sacramento city water to multinational corporations like Nestlé, which makes absurd profits, while writing tickets to people for watering on the wrong day.

State law actually prohibits cities from aRviN charging more for water just because a

by CoSMo G company makes a profit. Yes, state law cosmog@ newsrev iew.c om can be changed, if you are the Sacramento Kings. But short of that, we can do better than the current perverse system of harsh penalties for ordinary people and enormous giveaways to big companies.

Right now, the city is levying hefty fines— $50, $200, possibly up to $1,000—on residents who water outdoors at the wrong hours or on the wrong days. It’s true, we shouldn’t water during the warmest part of the day. And the city government should stop drenching golf courses and parks during the hot hours, in violation of its own rules.

But let’s say you are traveling, and you miss your Sunday watering day. Give your thirsty plants a spritz on Monday, and suddenly, you’re a scofflaw, even if you’ve taken significant steps to conserve. Water is rationed for your geraniums, but corporate water bottlers face no such restrictions.

The city of Pleasanton, profiled in The Sacramento Bee last week for its success in getting residents to cut water use by 25 percent, also uses water rationing. But Pleasanton doesn’t tell residents which two days to water. And according to the Pleasanton water-conservation manager, the city has yet to issue a fine.

And a recent study on water use in the Reno-Sparks area in Nevada found that assigning rigid watering schedules on customers actually leads to greater water waste than watering regimes with more flexibility.

The more important difference is that Sacramento is far behind in using water prices to encourage conservation.

Pleasanton, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego and other cities use “tiered” water rates to penalize excessive use and reward those who conserve.

Back in 2011, the city Department of Utilities spokesperson Jessica Hess told SN&R that a conservation-oriented rate structure would not be considered until the majority of residents were on water meters. (Remember that, for decades, the city charter outlawed meters on Sacramento homes.)

Well, it’s 2014 now and the portion of residential customers on water meters passed 50 percent this year. (Sacramento businesses were already on water meters.)

And, it turns out, the city utilities department is currently conducting a “comprehensive rate

structure study” including another look at tiered rates. But Hess now warns, “The city is not looking to implement a tiered rate until the vast majority of our customers are on a water meter.”

At the end of the 2016 fiscal year, Hess says only about 60 percent of residential customers will be on meters. “Vast majority” could mean anything. And Bites supposes the city can avoid reforming its rate structure indefinitely, if that’s what it wants to do. It doesn’t make much sense.

But it works fine for water hogs like Nestlé.

“My No. 1 reaction is, ‘Wow that’s really awkward.’”

Jessica Levinson election-law expert, Loyola Law School City council candidate Rick Jennings told SN&R’s Nick Miller a while back that his opponent had tried to unfairly tie him to Mayor Kevin Johnson. His adversaries made him out to be, “the mayor’s bitch,” Jennings complained.

Well, Jennings won anyway. And since he hasn’t been seated yet, it’s really too early to tell about him being the mayor’s bitch. But the relationship between the incoming District 7 council member and the mayor is unusually cozy.

Jennings was CEO of Johnson’s St. HOPE Academy. When he was later elected to the Sacramento city’s school board, he voted to give Sacramento High School to St. HOPE to run as a charter school.

More concerning now is that Jennings’ wife, Cassandra Jennings, works directly for the mayor. She is the liaison between the mayor’s office and Johnson’s network of outside nonprofit organizations.

“My No. 1 reaction is, ‘Wow that’s really awkward,’” says Jessica Levinson, an electionlaw expert and professor at Loyola Law School.

The fact the city pays someone to assist Johnson’s private organizations already raises a few ethical issues. But can anyone reasonably, honestly say that Cassandra Jennings’ job will carry no weight whatsoever when Rick Jennings is asked to vote on the mayor’s agenda?

Of course not. Still, like much of what this council does, it’s dubious but not flat-out illegal.

“The question really becomes one of wisdom and appearance,” says Levinson. After all, if the city attorney didn’t see a problem, it must technically be OK, right?

Still, Levinson says, “People are entitled to ask whether their representatives are serving two masters.” They may or may not get answer.

Neither Jennings nor the mayor’s office responded by press time. Ω

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New economic-development group with ties to K.J. threatens chamber, other organizations What’s going on in the wild and wacky world of Sacramento economic-development organizations?

First, a whole bunch of elite Sacramento-area CEOs pony up a minimum of $100,000 each to join the newly formed Greater Sacramento Area Economic Council. This exclusive club is reserved for CEOs of multimillion-dollar organizations. And Mayor Kevin Johnson.

Having raised several million dollars, the Greater Sacramento Area Economic Council, led by interim director Steve Oldham, will recruit new businesses to l our region as well as help existing organizations stay ne ae nK Vo ff

by Je or expand here, using both financial inducements and the j e ffv @n e wsr e v ie w.c o m personal appeal of the CEOs. Odd. These goals sound awfully similar to the goals of the Sacramento Metro Chamber.

No sooner was this new organization formed than Sacramento Metro Chamber president Roger Niello decided to step down from his post.

Then, Sacramento Regional Technology Alliance CEO Meg Arnold also resigned. A nonprofit organization, SARTA was “founded to foster high tech entrepreneurial growth and attract investment capital to the greater Sacramento region.”

Now Arnold is leaving, even though she, like Niello, does not have a replacement job lined up.

The president and CEO of Control is important, another Sacramento economicbut results are more development organization, Sacramento Area Commerce important. Effective & Trade Organization, Barbara mayors know this. Our Hayes, came out with a statement saying that SACTO was mayor may not. not threatened by this new organization. Even though it seemed to have a similar mission and to be going after the same limited funding resources, Hayes told The Sacramento Bee that she welcomed the active participation of area CEOs in business-recruitment efforts.

So, after this wild and wacky week, there will be a new chamber of commerce head, a new SARTA head, probably a much weaker SACTO, and a new organization of the region’s most powerful CEOs aligned with Mayor Johnson.

Economic development is important. It can make the difference between businesses coming to Sacramento and businesses leaving. We at SN&R experienced that firsthand when former Sacramento Councilwoman Sandy Sheedy and the Sacramento Housing and Redevelopment Agency helped us with the purchase and remodeling of a 19,000-square-foot building on Del Paso Boulevard.

But why, when there are already multiple groups working on economic development, do we need a new group?

This reminds me of two of Mayor Johnson’s other major Jeff vonKaenel is the president, initiatives, For Art’s Sake and Greenwise Joint Venture.

CEO and Instead of working with the Sacramento Metropolitan Arts majority owner of the News & Review Commission, Johnson set up his own organization, which newspapers in competed for resources with SMAC. Johnson was able to bring Sacramento, in great speakers, convey significant partners—but at the end Chico and Reno. of much effort, not much was accomplished. The same can be said for his Greenwise efforts, with a goal to make Sacramento the greenest city in the country.

I fear the same result with the Greater Sacramento Area Economic Council. Control is important, but results are more important. Effective mayors know this. Our mayor may not. Ω

This Modern World

by tom tomorrow

No good reason Yet again, an execution took an ugly turn. Last week, on July 23, a convicted double-murderer in Arizona spent two hours gasping for breath before finally dying. A few months ago, it was a convicted murderer in Oklahoma.

These are not isolated incidents. There have been a number of problems with administering death by lethal injection in the United States in recent years, mostly because of problems obtaining the drugs necessary to perform executions.

We’d like to, once again, urge Californians to abandon the death penalty. It cannot be applied humanely. It cannot be applied in a timely fashion.

Study after study has shown that it is never applied fairly: Some level of racial and economic bias is endemic to the practice. What’s more, thanks to programs like the Innocence Project, we’ve seen many people freed from death row once evidence that they were not guilty surfaced.

And it doesn’t work. While some relatives of victims demand it, the death penalty will not provide closure.

There’s simply no good reason for California to remain in the ranks of nations like Iran, North Korea and China. We need to abandon the death penalty altogether. Ω

Immigration real talk Given the current state of Congressional gridlock, there’s no reason to believe that U.S. immigration law will get its much-needed reform this year.

In some ways, that’s probably a good thing. The idea that the current surge of children and youth fleeing Central American violence should be immediately shipped back to violent, gang-ridden countries where they are, quite simply, not safe, is the refuge of blind nativism. The current state of Central American countries falls squarely on our own doorstep—it deserves the term “blowback,” given that U.S. drug policy and support for corrupt regimes in that region is behind the wave of violence that has a civilian death toll as high as war zones in Iraq and Syria.

The 2008 law, signed by President George W. Bush, that provides due process and special care to insure that children are not trafficked is serving a good purpose here. These children and their mothers deserve to have an opportunity to make the case that they are not safe in their country of origin and ought to receive asylum.

What’s more, the backlash by some U.S. citizens— including protesting and blocking highways to stop the passage of busloads of children and young mothers— is not merely embarrassing, it’s offensive.

We stand with Gov. Jerry Brown, who is clear that this is, first and foremost, a humanitarian crisis.

But we know that immigrants, documented or not, pay taxes and contribute to society. Immigrants are the raw material for a strong, healthy culture, and they always have been. And under no circumstances is it the American way to send children back to face violence and death.

That’s not how we do things here. Ω

Meeting cute in an online world Because Rachel is new to online dating, I’m thinking about giving up on the meet cute.

I want her first experience to be special. I The meet cute, if you don’t know, is by keep thinking if I hold out long enough, the the plot device that romantic films use to Ken Paglia universe will give us our own meet cute. pair up their leads in ironic or funny ways.

She’ll be playing kickball at Curtis Park at Think when Harry and Sally were forced the same time that I’m walking my dog; her into an 18-hour car ride that left them home-run kick will sail over a tree and hit hating each other. me in the face. She’ll have to put the steak Ken Paglia It’s one of the things we give up with is a sacramento online dating, right? And it’s a pretty big she was saving for the grill on my eye, and public-relations we’ll have a great story. sacrifice, because everyone wants a good professional working at Or her dog will chew up “how we met” story. the intersection her left-foot slipper, my dog of media and It’s only natural. We Everyone wants mental health. make sense of our lives will chew up my right-foot slipper, and we’ll run into through storytelling, a good “how we each other at Target on and having a good met” story.

Broadway, and decide to go story tends to validate in on a pair. our decisions.

The truth is most people still meet at Yet nearly one-third of Americans know someone who has been married or in a long- work, through friends or at a party. But online relationships are catching up. term relationship thanks to online dating, If I want serendipity to befall us, I’m up 14 percent in eight years, according to going to have to create it. One website a survey by the Pew Research Center’s suggested printing out pictures of each Internet & American Life Project. other, then using them to find each other by An online version of this I’ve thought about this recently because essay can be found at I’m about to meet Rachel—a woman I asking strangers, “Have you seen my date?” www.newsreview.com/ Or what if I told the story of Rachel and me encountered through OkCupid. We’re both sacramento/ meeting in one of Sacramento’s most widely communications professionals who like to pageburner/blogs. read publications? Maybe this is our meet read and exercise, and we both have pit bull cute. The options are limitless. Ω mixes. I’m excited.

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I’ve seen three shooting stars in the past half-hour.

It’s like Saul Goodman laser tag in this Sierra Nevada sky. Zoning out on the cosmos lulls me to sleep—until bam! A crew across the lake celebrates a belated Fourth of July by launching fireworks. Illegal, yes, but pretty awesome, too. If I was a scout leader, I’d give them the Independence Day Jackass merit badge.

The next morning, I earn my own Cliff-diving Daredevil badge by launching off a granite rock some 20 feet into surprisingly warm alpine water. Later, I swim a few hundred yards to a projection of rocks, which a friend jokingly refers to as “Pen Island.” He gets the Bahaha Backpacker badge.

There are more stories of camping, hiking, rattlesnake avoiding and bromance hot springing in this week’s cover story. It’s a guide to the wilderness; something to whet your appetite for the outdoors. And with merit badges, to boot.

Pack up and pack out!

—Ni ck Mi lleR

Don’t forget the spatula We wanted to feel insignificant. And few things dwarf us mere humans like the redwoods.

The towering trees—as tall as a 35-story building—exist all over California. But Humboldt County is known for holding some of the grandest and oldest. Humboldt also feels really far away, so a friend and I reserved a campsite at Richardson Grove State Park, the southernmost option still technically within the county.

Disclaimer: I’m not much of a camper. I’ve actually gone camping more this year—since moving to Sacramento—than in my entire life. My parents weren’t very outdoorsy.

My friends in college weren’t, either. But you Sacramentans forced it.

Because of my vast inexperience, I trusted my proud Eagle Scout of a camping partner to handle most of the preparations.

Isn’t that the Scout motto or something?

Regardless, he chose the campsite, but I don’t think either of us expected such luxury. Running water, sure. But such impeccably clean bathrooms? With intense diagrams explaining how to flush the not-complicated toilet? And recycling? Showers?

Sure enough, the other campers seemed keen on the luxury. There were enormous, multiroom tents and elaborate stoves everywhere. And children. My goodness, the children. I overheard one adorable little boy tell his mom, “I think that tree is old.” Meanwhile, a pair of girls drove around in a hot-pink plastic convertible—the envy of the entire campground, myself included.

We thought we were getting crazy by bringing a large cooler with beer and cheese and other stuff.

Alas, we forgot a spatula. Our burgers fell into the fire. Our calzones escaped their foil encasements. Luckily, the Eagle Scout was prepared with a backup supply of salami. Four meals later, I have zero interest in eating salami for the foreseeable future.

The mosquitoes devoured me each night. We saw a rattlesnake. As we tried to fall asleep at 9:30 p.m.—don’t judge—we could hear what must have been a rave at a neighboring campsite. I felt old, lame. Another neighbor gave us a half-bottle of port that read “Dumpster Diver 2013.” It was sweet, syrupy and delicious.

Wine aside, hiking through those glorious 1,000-year-old Sequoia sempervirens easily saved the weekend from

we were already so far north, an extra hour to loop around the coast felt more than worthwhile. Highway 1 wound and wound around and through forests, rugged cliffs and 200-person towns. Cars frequently stopped to admire the impossibly blue ocean and mysterious North Coast fog.

We ended our detour in Fort Bragg at Glass Beach. Legend has it that residents would dump bags of household garbage onto the beach in the early 20th century.

After decades of waves crashing onto shore, the trash has broken down into sea glass. Lots of people come and collect the prettiest brightly colored pieces of glass, to the point that white and brown dominate the current landscape. Still, that mandatory long walk on the beach feels far more epic when said beach is made of glass.

—Ja Nelle B i t keR janelleb @ newsreview.com

W h e R e ? : Richardson Grove State Park in Humboldt County, just south of Garberville and four hours northwest of Sacramento W h at ’ S t h e c o S t ? : $35 a day, reservations recommended R e S t R o om S oR dig a hol e ? : Showers and toilets!

P R o t i P S : Of the 170 campsites, Oak Flat

failure. The park’s visitor center sits in the middle of a cathedral-like grove of redwoods. Their stark uniformity gave them an air of nobility, with the lateafternoon light creating lovely refractions in between.

A 4-mile hike brought us through two more impressive groves and up an earpopping 1,000 feet. I sweated disgusting amounts, but I don’t exactly hit the gym; I think most physically fit people would call it a moderate hike.

What was most astounding about the 4-mile hike, and subsequent hikes, was the complete silence and emptiness. We came across one other couple on the trails over the course of the entire weekend.

Later, we realized that the hundreds of campers were at the swimming hole on the Eel River. In this drought, it was more like a dipping hole, but still entirely pleasant in the heat. Though without children—or floaties—we quickly felt out of place.

By day three, we were ready for a change of scenery. Since

is the farthest from the highway, and Madrone sits in the middle of a redwood-tree grove. Trails and swimming holes abound. And, while it’s a family-friendly park, it is also bear and rattlesnake country, so take proper precautions. Added bonus: Nearby coastal escapes on Highway 1.

Find out more at www.parks.ca.gov.

six men anD a bathtub There are a lot of great reasons to go camping, but one of the best is male bondage. Not bondage in the sexy sense, but bondage in the sense of a bunch of dudes getting together in the wilderness, drinking too much, stripping down, piling into a dirty wet hole in the ground and talking about their feelings.

I went camping recently with a group of friends who I don’t get to see that often. We eventually settled on renting a cabin at Mono Hot Springs, deep in the Sierra Nevada, almost five hours southeast of Sacramento.

I got a late start, so it was after dark by the time I was driving up California State Route 168. It was kind of an intense drive, so I was relieved when I finally reached the hot-springs area, tucked in a little valley, and found my friends—Ali, Alec, Dave, Mike and Ross—who immediately handed me a much-needed beer.

We hung out around the fire for a bit, imbibing, before trekking out on foot to find some of the natural hot springs. We crossed over a little river and followed a path over rough and wet terrain. After a bit of hunting, we found a pool large enough to accommodate the six of us.

Just before stripping down and climbing in, Mike, a gracious cat if ever there was one, stumbled and fell fully clothed into a nearby stream of very muddy water. He fell in headfirst with the frightened, panicked yelp of a cow about to stampede.

The pool was more like a comfortable bathtub than the sulfurous scald some hotspring enthusiasts might crave. But it was large enough for all us to stand comfortably with the water up to our necks as we stared up at the stars, undiminished by light pollution.

When it was time to go, Mike ran out and grabbed what he assumed was his muddy clothes, and then he started running back to our cabin, buck naked, carrying a pile of random clothes, including, as it turned out, my pants. So I walked back to the cabin like a proper shirtcocker, balls gently caressed by the summer breeze.

The next morning, I checked out the place a little more, and it’s an actual resort. There were several cabins like ours, as well as tent camping, a small general store and restaurant, and a spa building. There were a lot of people around, including families with younger kids. I was surprised to find so many signs of civilization considering how remote and treacherous the road in had seemed.

The surrounding area was impressive. Between the John Muir and Ansel Adams wilderness areas, it’s the kind of scenic High Sierra beauty that stirs the frontiersmen spirit within even the most hardened urbanite. We checked out more of the dozen or so hot springs in the area. None of them

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were mind-blowing in temperature or water quality, but they were all decent.

That night, we sat around the campfire. At one point, in the middle of discussion, I noticed somebody at a nearby cabin flashing their flashlight in our general direction, a friendly shut-thefuck-up gesture. It reminded me that although it felt like we were out in the wild, bonding with our cavemen ancestors and staring down the fire, we were actually surrounded by people, most of whom were trying to sleep.

So, yeah, not necessarily the best place for drunken male bonding. We had a great time, but we might have traumatized some innocent bystanders by walking around with no pants.

— BR a d By N u M bradb @ newsreview.com

WheRe?: Mono Hot Springs, nearly five hours southeast of Sacramento, just south of Yosemite National Park W h at ’ S t h e c o S t ? : $19-$39 a night, depending on the campsite

R e S t R o oM S oR di g a hol e ? : Campsites have picnic tables, grills and bear lockers; no drinking water, yes vault toilets

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PRo tiPS: Not optimal for drunken male bonding.

Visit www.monohotsprings.com or www.californias greatestlakes.com for more info.

no. 2 on the moon Is this what a lunar landing feels like? But wearing a 40-pound camping pack with a pint of whiskey in it instead of an astronaut suit?

I sometimes ask that when I arrive at one of Desolation Wilderness’ many alpine lakes, such as Lake Aloha, just southwest of South Lake Tahoe: There aren’t any trees near the water, just massive, monochromatic granite expanses, which give off a serious moon vibe (and, no, I wasn’t on psychedelic drugs).

Aloha is one of Desolation’s bigger lakes, and it’s a perfect entry-level camp spot for a debut foray into the 60,000-plus acre region, which is located at the base of the Sierra Nevada. From the lake, you can hike for days, hopping through the wild and jumping off rocks.

Part of the fun of visiting Desolation each summer is figuring out which water spot is your

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favorite. Is it the sleek rock jumping Fontanillis Lake? Or venturing off-trail to the secluded Lower Velma, what with its Lord of the Rings cliff drops?

Unfortunately, this is the outdoors, so there are rules. Desolation is not car camping. You will need to dig a hole to shit. Then, you will wipe your ass with BYO toilet paper and haul it out in a Ziploc bag. Bear canisters and a water-purifying filters are more important than your iPod. And forget about that campfire: It’s a $300-plus fine. Don’t mess with the rangers; I can tell you based on experience (my bad!) that it’s a bogus idea.

But let’s focus on the positive. Every summer, a crew of friends enter Desolation for a handful of nights. Last year, a trio entered near the more touristy Emerald Bay State Park entrance via the Maggies Peaks trail. The switchbacks out the gate are enough to send you back to your car’s A/C, but the route is generally less strenuous than the Bay’s other entrance at Eagle Lake. If you don’t want to have knee surgery at 50, this is a good thing.

Echo Lake is less busy and, if you’re a baby, you can take a boat cab to cut off two miles of the jaunt. Wright’s Lake is a shorter day trip. And, if you really want to crisscross the entire Desolation expanse, consider entering through north Loon Lake—which is not part of the wilderness area—then head toward Spider Lake to enter the valley. Bonus points for anyone who knocks out that multiday trip; I hope to do it one day.

Little surprise that my favorite memories of Desolation are the alpine lakes. That nipple-freezing snowmelt, those pop-up granite islands—swim out to one, take a nap, get lost in the silence.

Isolation has its place, but I do recommend Desolation in a group, especially for your first time. On a recent visit, my group hiked the easy trail along Echo Lakes toward Aloha.

After a few hours of midday-sun face melt, the trail gives way to cooler forest cover before descending onto Aloha. Jumping into this lake after a killer hike is like diving into one of those freezers at Costco.

But don’t stay at Aloha too long: Keep on the trail for another 45 minutes—it’s gotta be like trekking on the moon!—then tiptoe along the cliffs near Heather Lake and chill in the shade surrounding Susie Lake. If you’re bold, or unemployed, or whatever, keep climbing to Gilmore and Dicks lakes. Then keep going. Forever.

—Ni ck Mi lleR nickam @ newsreview.com

W h e R e ? : Desolation Wilderness, an hour east of Sacramento

What’S the coSt?: Permits required and prices vary

R e S t R o oM S oR dig a hol e ? : Bring a shovel and bury all human and canine waste at least 6 inches

P R o t i P S : This is not car camping, so bring all the essentials—a first-aid kit, water filter, etc.—and go with a veteran camper

Like fungus, but taLLer The trees in Calaveras Big Trees State Park are the largest living beings on Earth. At least they were, until scientists discovered a fungal colony in Oregon that technically is larger.

Those scientists are still debating whether acres of mushrooms actually form one distinct organism. Meanwhile, the majestic 250-foot giant sequoias continue to stretch their branches toward the heavens, just as they had for centuries before humanity even invented the scientific method.

Walking the park’s shady North Grove Trail encourages mental time travel. You can’t help but imagine the Mesozoic era, when giant sequoia forests covered parts of North America and Asia. The towering trees were a fitting landscape for Jurassic beasts.

A single giant sequoia can live for thousands of years. What was happening on Earth when their tiny seeds, the size of an oatmeal flake, first settled into the dirt of the Calaveras area?

How many generations of Native Americans

this is not car camping.

You will dig a hole to poop.

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Stressat Work

l e av e t h e

Our friendly and attentive staff works hard to make sure that all of your needs are met quickly – so you don't have to worry. Cats and large dogs welcome, with no breed restrictions!

Here are 10 more don’t-miss camping recommendations. Plan ahead, do your homework and look online for more details:

Greystone | 2505 5th Street | Davis, CA 95618 | (530) 758-2200

Yuba RiveR: The South Yuba Trail campground consists

of less than two-dozen spots, but they have all the frills (fire grills, picnic tables, toilets, water), and the nearby 15-mile trail is great for a weekend adventure. Plus, rock jumping in the Yuba is legendary.

beRlin-ichthYosauR state PaRk: This old ghost town is

Eastlake

Riverview Ranch

1420 Lake Blvd Davis, CA 95616 (530) 758-5253

2763 River Plaza Dr Sacramento, CA 95833 (916) 923-6300

Stonegate Village 2950 Portage Bay W Davis, CA 95616 (530) 756-2950

Lakeshore

1175 Lake Blvd Davis, CA 95616 (530) 757-7926

probably the only reason to head out of Reno and into central Nevada. Named after sea-monster fossils, the camping is cheap, and it’s open year-round.

salt Point state PaRk:

This busy car-camping destination, about 95 miles north of San Francisco, is great for families and folks longing for a little bit of nature and a dose of the Pacific Ocean. Visitors can sleep amid the trees then trek along the coast during the day.

big basin Redwoods state PaRk:

Just north of Santa Cruz, this don’t-miss spot is a great weekend getaway with coastal day-trip options. Waterfalls, some of the world’s tallest trees, creeks and shade—this is a good family spot as well.

gRouse Ridge tRail:

If long hikes and lake hopping is your pastime of choice, this Tahoe National Forest high-altitude getaway is the ultimate. This is backcountry camping, so bring your pack—and pack it light.

Fashion

Frames

50

%

Sacramento

2563 Fair Oaks Blvd.

(Loehmann’s Plaza) 916-480-9985

off

Plus, 2nd Pair FREE*

Ruck-a-chuckY camPgRound:

If sitting around on a summer day, sipping beer and watching rafters navigate the gnarliest whitewater rapid in Northern California is your idea of fun, then Ruck-A-Chucky is your spot (Google it for videos).

loon lake: This spot is a secret little getaway that I like to call “Tahoe Junior.”

Located off Ice House Road about an hour from South Lake, it’s so hush-hush, in fact, that I won’t divulge how to get to my favorite camping spot. OK, a one-word hint: canoe.

Rob hill camPgRound:

This is the only (legal) place to camp within the city of San Francisco. Atop a hill in the Presidio near the Golden Gate Bridge, it’s cheaper than a hotel or Airbnb—but there’s a curfew. Not for party animals.

Auburn

12124 New Airport Rd. (Next to Walgreens) 530-889-9985

union and utica ResevoiRs:

Sneak away to this secluded water spot about three hours south of Lake Tahoe. Campgrounds are barren—no toilets—but it’s only $16, and the lake has good island-hopping opportunities.

THE EYECARE STORE NEXT DOOR.

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59 COMPREHENSIVE EYE EXAM

$

Eye Exams available by Sterling VisionCare Optometrist, a CA-licensed Vision Health Care service plan, conveniently located next to Site for Sore Eyes. Site for Sore Eyes does not employ the optometrist nor do they provide eye exams. *With purchase of lenses. Free 2nd pair of prescription eyeglasses can be chosen from our large special frame selection with single-vision clear plastic lenses. Exclusions may apply. Not combinable with insurance. At participating locations. See store for details. Offer expires 9/30/14.

20 | SN&R | 07.31.14 Site for Sore Eyes • Sacramento News and Review • Job# 008687 • 2C, 4.9” x 5.67” Runs: 6/19 • EGC Group 516.935.4944

Point ReYes national seashoRe:

Camping here, just north of San Francisco on the coast, is like snagging good seats at a Giants-Dodgers game in AT&T Park: You’re going to have to pay and plan ahead with a reservation.

But it’s worth it—just be certain to get one of the coastal campgrounds, such as Sky Camp.

—N.M.

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rom page 19 inued f

lived peacefully among the trees, before a white settler named Augustus T. Dowd “discovered” the giant sequoias in 1852?

And how long did it take after Dowd’s report for the trees to fall prey to capitalists debarking them for exhibits and building saloons on their stumps?

The 1,244-year-old tree Dowd first spotted in 1852 was sawed down by 1853. In 1854, enterprising men skinned the giant sequoia called the Mother of the Forrest so they could build a hollow replica to trot out to tourists in New York City and London. The Mother’s shriveled, decaying core still stands in the North Grove as a monument to humanity’s environmental carelessness. As does the Pioneer Cabin Tree, which had a tunnel cut through its trunk in the 1880s to attract more tourists, and still clings to life by only one green branch.

Fortunately, the big trees are forgiving.

One doesn’t live for millennia without learning patience. The trees don’t mind if you step off the trail and hug their massive trunks. (Try it. It feels warm and barky.) During the warmer months, you’ll likely see rings of schoolchildren holding hands and trying to circumscribe their girth.

For a quieter view, detour to the Grove Overlook Trail and wind your way through the treetops. Even at their very tips, the sequoias are wider than the trunks of most other tree species in the forest.

To commune with the red-barked giants far away from tourist foot traffic, pack some water and snacks and set out on the more strenuous South Grove Trail. The South Grove contains 1,000 giant sequoias, including the park’s two largest trees, the Agassiz Tree and the Palace Hotel Tree.

These groves are nature conservation on the grandest scale, at least until Oregon designates a Giant Fungal Colony State Park.

— B ecc a c o St e l lo beccac @ newsreview.com

W h e R e ? : Calaveras Big Trees State Park in Arnold, two hours southeast of Sacramento

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W h at ’ S t h e c o S t ? : Varies R e S t R o om S oR dig a hol e ? : 129 campsites and good amenities PRo tiPS: The North Grove Trail is wide, flat and “stroller friendly.” The Three Senses Trail, a rope-guided route, offers Braille signs and tactile nature encounters for the visually impaired. More advanced hiking is available on the Lava Bluff and River Canyon trails. The park is open for snow play all winter. The park’s new visitor center opened in May and features nature exhibits, a cozy fireplace lounge, a theater inside a faux tree stump, and a well-stocked gift shop. The little warming hut off the North Grove Trail is where the Calaveras Big Trees Association sells snacks to raise money for the park. In the summer, you’ll find popcorn and $1 ice-cream scoops on the weekends. There’s no cellphone service in the park. Find out more at www.parks.ca.gov.

He likes big buttes The thing about the Sierra Buttes is that it’s hard to walk up them. Even when you drive more than two-thirds of the way to the summit. But if you sweat through both the one-hour hike—and the sketchy staircase leading up to the lookout fire station on the uppermost peak—you’ll be granted a stunning, 360-degree view from atop the high Sierra.

F E AT U R E

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In June, a big group of friends used a cabin a few miles outside of Sierra City, a couple hours northeast of Sacramento, as a base camp of sorts. Four of us set out on a Friday afternoon and followed Highway 70 and the Feather River into Plumas County. A little more than two hours into the drive, we came upon a dramatic scene: the Sierra Buttes, jagged and looming over the Tahoe National Forest, ice clinging to crags well into summer.

With our full team of nine assembled, we backtracked along the Gold Lake Road and picked a random trail head. We chose well, as the Silver Lake Trail happens to pass a halfdozen crystalclear mountain lakes, and for those looking to hike, the Pacific Crest Trail is easily accessible as it follows the ridgeline above the lake basin.

We kept a steady pace but made intermittent stops to climb rocks and take in the scenery—a mix of forest meadows, rugged geological formations and water, varying from turquoise to deep blue. The PCT was only about an hour-and-a-half from the parking lot, but the intense sun and thin air—not to mention the adult refreshments responsibly enjoyed the night before—had taken it out of us, so we snacked on a rock face and turned back.

The last day of the trip, the five of us who remained set out to ascend the fire-station lookout. We drove up the backside of the Sierra

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Buttes, parked once we deemed the dirt road impassable and set out on foot.

Our pace was slow as we climbed through subalpine forest, occasionally moving aside for descending mountain bikers and pausing to identify the braaap of ATVs in the distance.

There was one series of switchbacks along the trail; the rest was straight uphill. Even so, it wasn’t long before the treeline was behind us, and it was another 10 minutes from that point before the lookout, precariously perched high on a rocky outcropping, came into view.

Next to the station’s staircase was a sign that read: “Sierra Buttes—Elevation 8,587.” The sign also informed us we were standing on “metamorphosed rock called quartz porphyry which was exploded from undersea volcanoes about 350 million years ago,” which made someone say, “Whoa.”

The staircase leading to the lookout is steep but short, making the difficulty-toreward ratio quite favorable. We could see not only for dozens of miles in all directions— to the north, the peaks of Mount Lassen and Mount Shasta were just visible—but also through the platform’s grating to the lakes thousands of feet below.

Most notable was the lack of humans. Save for the colorful rafts and tubes bobbing in the water and the haze hanging over the Sacramento Valley, we couldn’t discern any signs of people—which was exactly why we were there.

—hoWaR d haRdee howardh @ newsreview.com

W h e R e ? : Sierra Buttes, two hours northeast of Sacramento

W h at ’ S t h e c o S t ? : It’s not a wilderness area, so no permit required; nearby campgrounds have fees

R e S t R o om S oR dig a hol e ? : No need for a shovel

P R o t i P S : Take the Silver Lake Trail. Call the Tahoe National Forest at (530) 265-4531 or the Yuba River Ranger District at (530) 288-3231 for more information. Ω

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Matt Evans, bartender at Hook & Ladder Manufacturing Co., understands the importance of accessorizing a tropical drink. And so behold the flirty pink umbrella in this Pinche Colada.

this age of craft cocktails—those drinks comprising housemade bitters, shrubs and tonics— tropical drinks usually seem to merit little respect. Most serious bartenders practically boast that they don’t have a blender, and if you ask for a drink made with Malibu Rum liqueur, you’re likely to be turned away.

On another visit, I try another Hook & Ladder variation on a traditional tropical drink: the “Mai Taizner,” named for chef Brian Mizner. I was skeptical about the addition of habanero syrup, but I ended up asking for a bit more to turn up the heat. The drink had a strong almond flavor and a very pleasant bitterness that was brought out by the orgeat and syrupy curacao liqueur. It tasted almost nothing like a mai tai, but it’s a top-notch cocktail, nonetheless.

And don’t even think about asking for a wedge of pineapple or an umbrella garnish—especially if you’re someone of the male persuasion.

But that trend may be changing as more local bars embrace the history of the tropical and tiki cocktail, and it’s a rich history, indeed, full of colorful characters, lore and even a coded recipe.

The latter recipe detailed how to make the zombie, a tropical cocktail created by the legendary Donn Beach (born Ernest Gantt), who opened Don the Beachcomber, the original tiki bar, in Hollywood in 1934.

In an attempt to keep his bartenders from sharing his secrets, Beach wrote out the recipe in numbers that corresponded to unlabeled bottles in the bar.

Such is the level of nerdery that can be achieved when delving into the subject. But are Sacramento bartenders nerding out on it, too?

When it comes to tropical, is artisanal the best way, or is the cabana boy sometimes your friend? Only Cocktail Challenge 3: Island Edition, which throws down 18 months after our last round of dares, can uncover such answers.

r15

Hook & Ladder Manufacturing co.

The challenge: Piña colada, mai tai The results: When I ask the bartender to

SN&R’S dRiNk guRu thRowS dowN CoCktail ChalleNge 3: iSlaNd editioN oN a tReaSuRe huNt foR SaC’S beSt tRopiCal dRiNkS

by Becky grunewaLd 22 | SN&R | 07.31.14

photos by BoBBy MuLL

make me the most tropical drink he can think of, I sense a whiff of an attitude, but it turns out he’s just slow to warm up, and the piña colada he makes me is actually on the restaurant’s regular cocktail list. It’s actually called a Pinche Colada here and is made from pineapple, lime, two kinds of rum, and coconut gelato in lieu of a coconut liqueur or coconut cream, as is called for in the original recipe.

Right off the bat, we achieve liftoff: An umbrella is in effect. This makes me giddy—I don’t normally order tropical cocktails and didn’t know bars actually stocked umbrellas.

The coconut flakes in the gelato give the drink a not-unpleasant, slightly grainy texture, but it’s a touch too watery. The bartender also added lime to this traditionally three-ingredient drink, and the sharp tart flavor interferes with the mellow sweetness of the drink.

The challenge: Beachy shooters The results: I was disappointed when I

rolled up to the bar to find that the bar’s advertised $5 “Tiki Thursday” drinks were, in fact, shooters. Has anyone over the age of 22 ever done a shooter? The server said they could be ordered over ice to create cocktails of a sort. Either way, the shooters here sport wacky names such as Liquid Marijuana, Sex Under Da Sun and Surfer on Acid. The Red Beard, made up of Captain Morgan rum, grenadine, Malibu and Sierra Mist, tasted like cough syrup. The Liquid Marijuana was green, but that’s all it had going for it. Shockingly, the Surfer on Acid, with its combo of Jägermeister, Malibu and pineapple was the most palatable, with a pleasantish herbal flavor. The best part of these drinks came when I Instagrammed the absurd receipt (24 likes!).

grange restaurant & Bar The challenge: Zombie, mai tai The results: Back on the topic of cocktail

nerds, the minute I ask bartender Pete Tachibana to make a tropical cocktail, he starts in on a zombie, all the while spouting tiki-cocktail trivia.

Tachibana’s version of the zombie uses a mix of light, dark and gold rum, and falernum (a syrup with flavors of almond, ginger and lime). He also made a mai tai with Caliche rum, house-made curacao and Small Hands Foods orgeat syrup—none of that ho-hum Torani stuff here. The ingredients for this drink change seasonally, and on this day, it had muddled strawberries. It was certainly a pleasant, subtle, well-balanced cocktail. The problem with both drinks was that they were too smooth—almost aggressively smooth.

frank fat’s The challenge: Mai tai, zombie, piña colada The results: I rolled into Frank Fat’s with a

lady crew 15 deep on a Monday at happy hour. We had already been enjoying a daylong drinking spree, and the bartender was not amused by our shenanigans, to put it mildly. He did, however, serve a mai tai in a giant bowl with four straws, which you really can’t beat. He then

It’s easy being vegan cheesy See THE V WORD

27

made me a zombie, and when I asked him what was in it, he said, “The same as the mai tai except with more rum.” Not exactly a traditionalist. Both drinks tasted mostly of pineapple, but the zombie was indeed an ass kicker. I increased his displeasure by asking him to use the blender to make me a piña colada, which was overwhelmed by the taste of Malibu.

Tank House BBQ and Bar

Bikini-wax hell See ASK JOEY

31

Roger Ebert’s last thumbs-up See CLIPS

35

Just say, ‘Whoa, enough’?

See THE 420

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real coconut cream rather than coconut liqueur and tasted like a rich, dessertlike juicy treat. It also has a generous quantity of rum, but the high alcohol is well-concealed. In contrast, the mai tai was decidedly on the boozy side, with multiple kinds of rum in it and a dark rum float on the top. Garnished with a lime slice, sprinkled with cinnamon and lit on fire, it’s clearly the win for presentation. I wished for an umbrella, but I guess then he would have had to call the drink The Flaming Umbrella.

The challenge: Pineapple Painkiller, mai tai The results: Buddy Newby recently instituted a

Crawdad’s River Cantina

Tuesday tiki night at Tank House and says the response has been positive, both from regulars and “new faces who might not have come in otherwise.” The bartender started the weekly event out of a love of tiki drinks and an effort to amuse himself in a bar that otherwise keeps it so simple when it comes to cocktails that they don’t even have a list. The Pineapple Painkiller uses

The challenge: Zombie, Whiskey Colada, Mardi Gras The results: Besides fruit juices and rum, the key to the enjoyment of tropical cocktails is water. Preferably gently slapping waves, but in Sacramento, the closest option is the river, where instead of schools of leaping dolphins, the Crawdad’s dock featured a tribal-tatted dude blowing his air horn to startle diners. Still, our table was dockside, and the restaurant has a bright and airy feel.

The zombie here, featured at the top of Crawdad’s cocktail list, uses both Sailor Jerry and Bacardi rum. This drink tasted strong, with a good balance between booze and sweet, juicy fruit. A Whiskey Colada, made with amaretto and Tullamore DEW whiskey instead of rum, tasted like a colada, but the amaretto added a pleasant nuttiness, and the coconut didn’t overpower. Meanwhile, the laundry list of liquor in the Mardi Gras approached Long Island iced tea territory (vodka and two kinds of rum), but the booze was drowned out by a fruity guava flavor.

As I drained my tulip glass, I watched a snowy egret take flight against the sunset, and the Delta breeze ruffled the paper umbrella I had tucked behind my ear. All my cares melted away, and I finally understood why Don the Beachcomber had dubbed the zombie the “mender of broken dreams.”

And, also, why his bar didn’t allow anyone

to order more than two.

Get your own drink umbrellas at:

Buddy Newby, bartender at Tank House BBQ and Bar, turns the average mai tai into a flaming sparkler of boozy fun.

• Hook & Ladder Manufacturing Co.

1630 S Street, (916) 442-4885, www.hookandladder916.com • R15

1431 R Street, (916) 930-9191, www.paragarys.com/sacramento-restaurants/r15-bar • Grange Restaurant & Bar Crawdad’s River Cantina’s zombie might turn you into the walking dead, should you choose to imbibe too many.

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926 J Street, (916) 492-4450, www.grangesacramento.com • Frank Fat’s

806 L Street, (916) 442-7092, www.fatsrestaurants.com • Tank House BBQ and Bar

1925 J Street, (916) 431-7199, http://tankhousebbq.com • Crawdad’s River Cantina

1375 Garden Highway, (916) 929-2268, www.saccrawdads.com

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For the week of July 31

wEEkLy PICkS

The Color Run Saturday, auguSt 2 Back in 2011, some folks decided simply putting one foot in front of the other in relatively rapid succesRUN sion was too boring. Hence, The Color Run was born, a 5k in which participants run, and at every kilometer are doused with a different colored powder and made to listen to loud music. $45-$50, 8 a.m., Seventh Street and Capitol Mall, http://thecolorrun.com/sacramento.

—Deena Drewis

Harvest Day Saturday, auguSt 2 Sacramentans might have a better understanding of gardening than the average American. Still, there’s much to learn from the Sacramento County Master Gardeners, who’ll be hosting a day of planting clinics, gardening classes, cooking GARDENING demonstrations, food tasting and plant sales. Free, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Fair Oaks Horticulture Center, 11549 Fair Oaks Boulevard in Fair Oaks; (916) 875-6913; www.ucanr.edu/sites/sacmg.

—Jonathan Mendick

Vegan Wine & Cheese Mixer Saturday, auguSt 2 Humans seem to be addicted to cheese. Or maybe people just love that bourgie feeling they get at wineand-cheese parties? The Vegans of Davis host this mixer of plant-based wine and cheese, so nobody CHEESE needs to feel deprived, including calves.

Free to attend, $10-$15 for cheese and wine tastings; 7 p.m. at The Plum Cafe & Bakery, 2315 K Street; www.facebook.com/vegansofdavis.

—Shoka

Festa Italiana Saturday, auguSt 2, through Sunday, auguSt 3

T

hough you won’t see too many grape vines in the city itself, Sacramento is surrounded by wine country. The good thing about that is that quality wine can easily be found all over town. In fact, this week alone almost a dozen wine-related events will happen in the area. If you’re looking to get a bit of a wine buzz (responsibly, of course), check out SN&R’s picks for five of the best.

Wine Tastings and Paint Pairings blends art class with the nectar of the gods on Thursday, July 31, at 5:30 p.m. at the Crocker Art Museum (216 O Street). It’s led by the Crocker Cafe by Supper Club owner and chef Matt Woolston, who will pair vintage wines with paintings from the Crocker’s African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond exhibition. Tickets are $65 for museum members and $85 for nonmembers. Head to www.crockerartmuseum.org for more information.

Piatti and Maserati of Sacramento are teaming up for an event called the Cakebread Wine Dinner on Thursday, July 31, at 6 p.m. It features Cakebread Cellars wine, a display of Maserati models and a three-course meal from Piatti, located at 571 Pavilions Lane. Tickets are $60; call (916) 649-8885 for reservations.

The Guns & Hoses’ Wine, Brew & Food Festival boasts 50 participating wineries, breweries and food vendors. Now in its eighth year, the event—happening at 6:30 p.m. on Friday, August 1—benefits the charities of the Sacramento Pig Bowl Association (www.pigbowl.com). It happens at the Sacramento Marriott Rancho Cordova, 11211 Point East Drive in Rancho Cordova. Tickets are $45.

Grape Days of Summer celebrates Placer County’s wineries.

From 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday, August 2, and Sunday, August 3, participating wineries in Auburn, Lincoln, Loomis, Meadow Vista, Newcastle and Rocklin will offer tastings, tours, barbecues and live music for wine enthusiasts.

Weekend passes cost $45, and it’s $10 for designated drivers. See www.placerwine.com for details.

The Junior League of Sacramento’s Wine & Dine 2014 will bring together Sacramento restaurants (Sam’s Hof Brau, Dickey’s Barbecue Pit), wineries (Michael David Winery, Revolution Wines) and local music (Mind X) on Saturday, August 2. It happens at the Sacramento State Alumni Center at 6000 J Street, at 7:30 p.m. (open to VIP ticketholders starting at 6:30 p.m.). It’s $45 in advance, $55 at the door and $95 for a VIP ticket. More information can be found at www.jlsac.org.

Is the only Italian-ish thing about you an excessive amount of arm hair? Then it’s time to get cultured— and possibly waxed. This festival features all things Italian: food, live music, dance and FESTIVAL even a good old-fashioned salami toss. $12; 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. on Saturday; 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Sunday at the Croatian American Cultural Center, 3730 Auburn Boulevard; (916) 482-5900; www.festaitalianasacramento.com.

—Rudy Raya

African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond through Sunday, September 21 The 100 pieces on display—some rarely seen outside the Smithsonian—represent 48 African-American ART artists during some of the most transformative periods in American history. $5-$10, at the Crocker Art Museum, 216 O Street; (916) 808-7000; www.crockerartmuseum.org.

—Rudy Raya

—Jonathan Mendick BEFORE

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for a complete list of nominees, visit newsreview.com i ssue on stands

9 .1 1 .14

If you receIve communIcatIon from a fIrm representIng Itself as beIng assocIated wIth best of sacramento and attemptIng to sell you plaques, please be warned: these companIes are not assocIated wIth the sacramento news & revIew, or the best of sacramento contest.

Food & Drink

Riverside Clubhouse The Shack Ten22 Tower Cafe

Ladybug Ladybug Mixed Bag Sakura Gifts

Best BarBer shop

Best frozen treats

Best tacos

Devine Gelateria & Cafe Gunther’s Ice Cream Shop Leatherby’s Family Creamery Osaka-Ya Vampire Penguin Vic’s Ice Cream Yogurtagogo

Chando’s Tacos La Favorita Taqueria La Fiesta Taqueria La Rosa Meat Market La Soga Taqueria Taco Fresco Taqueria & Pupuseria Isabel Taqueria Garibaldi Taqueria Jalisco Taqueria Rincon Alteno El Herradero

Shopping & Fashion

Best new restaurant Block Butcher Bar Lou’s Sushi Mighty Tavern Mother Thai Canteen

Best place to Buy vintage 57th Street Antique Row Cuffs FreeStyle Clothing Exchange Mark Vintage Midway Antique Mall Racks Boutique Sacramento Antique Faire Scout Living YSJ Trading Co.

Best outdoor patio

Aioli Bodega Espanola Dad’s Kitchen Der Biergarten Hook & Ladder Manufacturing Co. LowBrau Lucca Restaurant and Bar Mulvaney’s Building & Loan Revolution Wines

Best place to Buy tchotchkes Evangeline’s Fringe

Anthony’s Barber Shop Barber Blues The Business Barber Shop The Buzz Barber Shop Eddy’s Deluxe Fly Cuts & Styles Hot Rods Chop Shop Jimmy’s Barber Garage Knock Out Barber Shop La Riviera Barber Shop Norm’s Barber Shop The Head Game

Best record store Armadillo Music Dimple Records Phono Select Records

Arts & Entertainment Best gay cluB

Badlands Faces Mercantile Saloon Sidetrax

VOTE US BEST PLACE TO BUY VINTAGE!

The Bolt The Depot Video Bar

Best karaoke

Blue Moon Cafe and Karaoke The Distillery Marilyn’s on K Oishii Sushi Bar & Grill Karoke Lounge Old Ironsides On the Y Pine Cove Tavern River City Saloon Swiss Buda Thai Garden

Best dance spot

Badlands District 30 Faces Midtown Barfly Mix Downtown Parlare Euro Lounge PowerHouse Pub Social Nightclub The Park Ultra Lounge The Press Club Sidetrax Stoney’s Rockin’ Rodeo

Best trivia night

Alley Katz Blue Lamp de Vere’s Irish Pub Easy on I Fox & Goose Kilt Pub Morgan’s Bar & Grill Streets of London Pub BonnLair The Depot Video Bar The Shack

People & Places Best reporter

Claire Doan, KCRA Cynthia Hubert, The Sacramento Bee Thom Jensen, News10 Chris Macias, The Sacramento Bee Kim Minugh, The Sacramento Bee Charles Piller, The Sacramento Bee Phillip Reese, The Sacramento Bee

Kathy Robertson, Sacramento Business Journal Laurel Rosenhall, The Sacramento Bee Sam Stanton, The Sacramento Bee

Best radio voice

Ben Adler, Capital Public Radio Bre, KSFM 102.5 FM Nick Brunner, Capital Public Radio Dave “Deuce” Mason, KHTK 1140 AM Pat Martin, KRXQ 98.5 FM Derek Moore, 96.9 The Eagle Kitty O’Neal, KFBK 1530 AM Alan Ray, Capital Public Radio Beth Ruyak, Capital Public Radio Devin Yamanaka, Capital Public Radio

Best place to people watch

Capitol Park Carol Miller Justice Center MARRS building R Street Corridor Central Farmers Market on Sunday

Sports & Recreation Best team

Lady Salamanders Sac City Rollergirls Sacred City Derby Girls Sacramento Kings Sacramento Republic FC Sacramento River Cats

Best place to kick some Butt

Broadway Boxing Courage Martial Arts & Gym Joslin’s Martial Arts Center Kovar’s Satori Academy Moore’s Martial Arts Prime Time Boxing Club Robinson Taekwondo Self Defense & Personal Safety Academy Warrior MMA

THANK T HANK YOU SN&R READERS FOR VOTING US

BEST TATTOO SHOP

Best recreational center

Effie Yeaw Nature Center Oak Park Community Center Sam & Bonnie Pannell Community Center Sierra II Center for the Arts and Community West Sacramento Recreation Center

Capital Cannabis Best dispensary

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www.royalpeacocktattoo.com 21st & P Streets | 12-12 EVERYDAY | 916.448.1979

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Shige Sushi 5938 Madison Avenue in Carmichael, (916) 331-7300

The story of sushi in Sacramento is an almost generational one. Taka Watanabe taught Billy Ngo, the rock-star chef of Midtown by Garrett McCord who now runs Kru Restaurant. And Shige Tokita taught Watanabe, who now runs the beloved Taka’s Sushi.

So really, if you’re eating the food of Ngo or Watanabe, you’re in a way eating the food of Tokita. rating: Tokita himself runs the humble Shige HHHH Sushi in Carmichael, where he can often be found chatting with regulars (of whom there dinner for one: are many). The food tends to edge more $25 - $40 classic than modern, which, in today’s sushi world, seems to be rare.

Cooked chicken hearts may sound a bit detestable to those who find offal awful, but properly cooked, skewered and dusted with a bit of chili powder and lashed with lemon juice, this classic street food comes out juicy and flavorful.

Fried smelt are crispy and oily in the right way: by way of the smelt themselves and not the cooking oil. It’s a treat that should not be passed up.

H For those looking for sushi rolls, it’s flAwed hard to find better. A classic Philadelphia HH roll is packed with crab, avocado and cream hAs MoMents cheese—American-style sushi at its finest.

HHH A Ziggy roll was by and far the favorite AppeAling of the night and is one Shige’s most popular HHHH rolls. The roll, wrapped in a canary-colored AuthoritAtive soy wrap, is a mix of masago, avocado and HHHHH crispy soft-shell crab and offers a blend of epiC textures and a creamy-piquant flavor that’s terribly addicting.

The specials here are always worth investigating. We enjoyed an amazing roll with crab, barbecued yam, specks of dill and green onion, and topped with wafer-thin slivers of lemon. Earthy and briny, it’s one of the most intriguing rolls I’ve ever had.

Still hungry?

However, the real reason to visit Shige search sn&r’s is for omakase, a Japanese phrase meaning “dining directory” “it’s up to you.” This is what happens when to find local restaurants by name you give the sushi chef a dollar amount and or by type of food. let them run wild preparing a meal unique sushi, Mexican, indian, to you. You won’t find much in the way of italian—discover it contemporary American rolls during this. all in the “dining” Tokita insists on classic sushi done right: section at www.news usually a thumb of seasoned rice, a precoreview.com. cious smear of wasabi, and then the finest cut of fresh fish. Sometimes it’s garnished with a julienne of fresh ginger cut as wide as a horse’s hair, as it was with the generous slab of hamachi. A piece of scallop as sweet as a love letter arrived brushed with lemon.

Monkfish dolled up with a minty shiso leaf made for a peculiar but incredibly appealing treat. A pale cut of often-underrated kurodai (black sea bream) was brilliantly flavorful and left me to wonder why this fish doesn’t appear on more menus.

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1 coupon per table. cannot be combined with any other offer. expires 08/14/14

SACRAMENTO

For $35 I left the sushi bar not only full, but utterly blown away by the parade of fine food. When you’re finished, Tokita asks for your name, which he will then file away with his notes about your likes and dislikes so that when you come in again he can even better tailor your experience to your liking.

1402 Broadway 916.930.0888

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The Ziggy roll, wrapped in a canary-colored soy wrap, is a mix of masago, avocado and crispy soft-shell crab and offers a blend of textures and creamy-piquant flavor that’s terribly addicting.

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Hand-Crafted by Chef Hassi Sadri, head judge of the 2014 Pizza Expo

Admittedly, Shige is more expensive than most people are used to paying for sushi.

Four rolls might set you back about $60 before tip or drinks. In a world of half-price mayo-slathered rolls for the masses, this is too much—regardless that the product is infinitely better.

If you prefer cheap, bombastic rolls that are deep-fried and buried under avocado, then Shige is not your place. If you want to eat authentic, classically prepared Japanese cuisine from a man who knows his craft, then it’s definitely worth the trip. Ω

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Monday – Friday 3–6pm

Ever thought about synthesizing baker’s yeast to become like milk proteins and then using that engineered casein and old-fashioned cheese-making methods to create “the world’s first” totally veganbut-not-a-substitute cheese? No? Well, a team of biohackers in the Bay Area from BioCurious and Counter Culture Labs have.

They have already surpassed their $15,000 goal to fund the research and development on Indiegogo (www.indiegogo.com/ projects/real-vegan-cheese), but they have a secondary goal: to hit $20,000 so they can make narwhal cheese. As soon as the unicorn of the sea’s genome is mapped, anyway. But if you hate their research, you can put an end to it: $10 million is all it takes for them to cease and “go work on something else.” Whaddya say, dairy industry? The campaign ends on August 10.

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1315 21st Street, Sacramento 916.441.7100

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Check Yelp page under “From This Business” for: Daily Discounts Yelp.com/biz/thecoconut-midtown-sacramento 2502 J St | S acr amento, CA | 916.447.1855

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Downtown Blackbird Kitchen & Beer Gallery

Where to eat?

Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations by Janelle Bitker, Ann Martin Rolke, Garrett McCord, Jonathan Mendick and Shoka updated regularly.

Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

Blackbird is back with chefowner Carina Lampkin again at the helm. It’s located in its original space with a similar aesthetic, though with more focus on beer and bar food to better complement the seafood-inspired dinner menu.

A burger served with house pickles, seven-day house-cured bacon, cheddar and sweet ’n’ chivey “awesome sauce” make for one of the city’s best burgers, no question. Chowder fries, however, are nifty in theory— fries covered in bay shrimp, bacon and parsley, then doused with chowder. It’s a play on poutine, but a lack of acid and serious sogginess issues mar it from being a landmark dish.

Better yet? Fish tacos featuring fried pollock served with pickled cabbage and chipotle crema. These and a beer will remedy any bad day you’re having. American. 1015 Ninth St., (916) 498-9224. Dinner for one: $10-$30. HHH1/2 G.M.

Midtown Block Butcher Bar This place serves the holy trinity of European cuisine: meat, cheese and alcoholic beverages. Most of its boards and plates are balanced using three basic tastes: salty (meats and cheeses), sweet (honey and jam) and sour (pickles and vinegar). The charcuterie boards impress visually and on the tongue. A recent selection included shaved almonds, neat piles of meat,

mustard, pickled cauliflower and beets, served with small slices of bread. The ’njuda sandwich is startlingly spicy and salty, with rich melted cheese and ground meat spread between pressed slices of bread. Or try the pressed serrano ham, manchego cheese, arugula and salsa sandwich—it’s like a cross between a cubano, a breakfast panini and a torta. Elsewhere on the menu there are fine cocktails, an intimidating whiskey list, and a small but diverse selection of beer and wine, both regional and international.

European. 1050 20th St., (916) 476-6306. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHHH J.M.

Cafe Plan B This Midtown iteration of the popular Plan B Restaurant in Arden Arcade brings to mind old-school French dining. This should not be read as an insult. The menu runs with salads, sandwiches, mains and appetizers—however, the highlight is the generous array of mussels served in both modern and classic fashion.

The épicé mussels are served in a thick tomato sauce with a rumbling chili-garlic heat.

Coconut-broth mussels are sweet and tangy and worth a visit. A white-anchovy tartelette with shredded fennel and leek dazzles—it’s the sort of light food welcomed in tripledigit heat. The puff pastry it sits on is a means to an end.

Branzino cooked en papillote is also a thing of beauty: light, flaky and served with wisps of lemon and fennel. The wine selection is limited, however, the house white is affordable

and welcome, pairing well with numerous dishes. French.

1226 20th St., (916) 447-3300.

Dinner for one: $25-$30.

HHHH G.M.

The Coconut Midtown The food here travels a path between standard and inventive. Creamcheese wontons, for example, aren’t the epitome of culinary Southeast Asian traditions, but damn it if they aren’t delightful. Soft cream cheese and chives in a crispy wrapper and served with a sweet chili sauce?

Nothing wrong with that. The chicken larb—a spicy mincedmeat salad—is fragrant and intense. Mint, chilies, basil and iceberg lettuce are drenched in a spicy lime dressing punctuated with a heavy hand of fish sauce. The Coconut has warnings in its menu about which dishes are spicy, but unless you’re a newborn kitten, trembling and mewling, you might not even be aware of the chilies in your food. Thai. 2502 J St., (916) 447-1855. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH1/2 G.M.

Der Biergarten This spot is a slightly quirky, low-key place with only nine food items on the menu: four appetizer-style options, four sandwich-type offerings and a sausage platter, plus about 30 cold ones on tap. Patrons order from a building that was built from a couple of cargo containers and dine outdoors on communal benches, traditional German biergarten style. The Derfinater Dog is a gussied-up hot dog, and despite its seemingly excessive number of toppings, everything

served a tasteful purpose. The mayo and garlic sauce helped moisten a somewhat dry roll, and the bacon added saltiness, which balanced the sweetness of cream cheese and barbecue sauce. The pretzel disappointed by being a bit on the flaky and brittle side. The sausage platter was the best item on the menu: a pork sausage, chicken sausage, and a veal-and-pork sausage—much more plump, juicy and flavorful than the frankfurters—served alongside piles of sauerkraut and German potato salad. German. 2332 K St., (916) 346-4572. Dinner for one: $5-$10. HHH J.M.

Strings Urban Kitchen This more upscale version of the Gold River-based Strings Italian Cafe chain lands in the Il Fornaio camp, but with a lower price point.

Recommended options include the Bruschetta Rustico, with chunky toasts layered with seasoned cheese, grape tomatoes, basil and balsamic vinegar. With less garlic than many versions, it’s a delicious and date-friendly choice.

Pizzas are offered at 7 or 16 inches, with lots of optional additions. A small Pomodoro Mozzarella, with sliced tomatoes and marinara, was serviceable with mediumthick crust and plentiful toppings. A signature frutti di mare pie with shrimp, scallops, mussels and seafood sauce is a more unique take on the category. There are also quite a few vegetarian choices, including Vegetale de las Casa. Eggplant, peppers,

zucchini and other veg are sautéed in oil and tossed with Parmesan and Gorgonzola. For dessert, try the tiramisu, with sprightly ladyfinger sponge cake and an airy mascarpone topped with cocoa and cinnamon. If you’re feeling generous, order the caffè sospeso (“pending coffee”), in which you pay for a cup for the next guest. Italian. 1500 Seventh St., (916) 444-6500. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHHH AMR

Tidbit Catering & Gelateria Chef Eric Lee has crafted an eclectic, bargain-friendly menu. Fried calamari are lightly seasoned with a crispy exterior and served with a marinara-ish bland sauce.

A carrot-and-ginger soup possesses a slow burn, and a chicken-lettuce wrap is sophisticated: a modest portion of food of moderate size that’s highlighted with slivers of cucumber and a shaking of vinegar. The frozen bits, however are the real winners.

Gelato and sorbet are both available in astounding offthe-cuff flavors that mostly draw inspiration from Asian cuisines. A vanilla-and-adzuki-bean gelato tastes sweet and earthy, with a flavor reminiscent to Chinese moon cakes. A nutty soy-based black-sesame-seed gelato is as rustic and charming as your favorite Instagram filter.

American. 1907 Capitol Ave., (916) 442-7369. Dinner for one: $5-$10. HHH1/2 G.M.

Señors y Señoritas c o m e

e a t

s a t ! i j a F

9385 Elk GrovE Blvd • Elk GrovE, Ca • 95624

11aM-9pM • 11aM-10pM wEEkEnds • 916.686.0386

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East Sacramento Fahrenheit 250 BBQ This barbecue joint ups the ante with attentive table service and highend ingredients. Chef Jacob Carriker serves Southern staples such as pulled pork, brisket and ribs, plus the very California addition of smoked tri-tip. There’s also chicken and trout—all smoked in a 7-foot hand-forged steel behemoth. All the meats are dry rubbed and served without sauce, which can be added at the table from a choice of four: house, spicy, Kentucky mustard-based and Carolina vinegar-based. The pulled-pork sandwich is served on a hefty bun topped with coleslaw. The meat is moist, smoky and falling apart with tenderness. The half-chicken, from Mary’s Free Range brand, is a bit dry, but benefits from a shot of sauce. The tri-tip is well-smoked, but not as good as the brisket, although it still makes for a very nice addition to the Market salad, with baby greens, grilled zucchini and onions, and cornbread croutons. Barbecue. 7042 Folsom Blvd., (916) 476-4508. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH AMR

Land Park/ Curtis Park Pangaea Bier Cafe Just as European wines are made to be enjoyed with food rather than sipped alone, the current tsunami of European-style microbreweries feature drinks

South Sac Bodhi Bowl This Vietnamese eatery’s menu is all vegetarian and mostly vegan, with plenty of high notes. The Heavenly Noodle is a can’t-go-wrong salad comprising snow-white vermicelli noodles with cooling mint, cucumber slices, houseroasted peanuts and jagged pieces of faux beef. The “beef” actually is slightly sweet, plenty umami and pleasantly inoffensive, as far as fake meat goes. Nearly everything

here has a faux-meat product or tofu element. So, sorry diners with soy allergies—it can’t even be escaped in the papaya salad. Not an issue?

Soldier on with the Hot & Sour soup, a not-too spicy sunsetorange broth that teems with a tomatoey and citrus flavor, chunks of pineapple, semicircles of trumpet mushrooms, cubes of fried tofu and slices of faux crab. Or, try the stir-fried Eight Fold Path. It features al dente celery, red bell pepper and triangles of the most savory, salty, dense tofu perhaps ever. Vietnamese.

6511 Savings Place, Ste. 100; (916) 428-4160. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH S.

Ste. 288; (916) 455-0288. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHH J.M.

Arden/ Carmichael Field House American Sports Pub Launched by the same team that raised Shady Lady Saloon, this spot brings a bit more culinary hope to an often forgotten part of Sacramento. The whiskey burger is a mighty sammich of perfection with smoked Gouda cheese and bacon that serve as excellent counterpoints to the achingly sweet maplebourbon glazed red onions.

Fries-slash-chips arrived pencil-thin and fiercely crispy.

If you visit for brunch, don’t miss the signature bloody mary: a 32-ounce bloody mary that doesn’t skimp on the horseradish. It’s served with skewers of beet-pickled egg, sausage and bacon, tiger prawn, pickled veggies, and the most amazing slider.

American. 1310 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-1045. Dinner for one: $15-$25. HHHH G.M.

Kansai Ramen & Sushi House This place serves its own take on ramen and sushi, with varying degrees of success. The kakuni ramen, which features three thick slices of braised pork belly in lieu of the house ramen’s thin slices of chashu, boasts a nice, sweet marinade; tender consistency; and copious flavor. Be sure to order noodles al dente, and it’ll make for a good option, even with its run-of-the-mill broth. Or amp it up with the spicy tan tan men, which uses a beefy and seafood-tinted soup base that teems with flavor. The sushi rolls here are Western style— a.k.a. loaded with toppings.

Try the Mufasa roll. With crab and avocado on the inside and salmon and sauce outside, it’s particularly tasty, seasoned in sesame oil and baked—a somewhat unusual technique for sushi. Japanese. 2992 65th St.,

The Kitchen Diners here don’t receive a menu: They receive a program, divided into seven acts, and, yes, there’s an intermission. Guests all eat together, like a reservationsonly giant dinner party, dining on seasonal dishes such as chilled, minty pea soup, served with creamy pea pudding, cured scallops and Sterling Caviar. The offerings, which include the likes of lamb, steak and pasta, change

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

often best quaffed alongside a well-crafted meal. Pangaea Bier Cafe recently stepped up its food game to satisfy that need with a revamped menu that includes an ever-changing rotation of seasonal, slightly upscale pub food.

Try the Buffalo wings: They’re deeply flavorful fried morsels with a thick glaze of goodness.

The mac ’n’ cheese is creamy, with a bit of beer in the sauce and a crunchy topping of herbflecked breadcrumbs. The sliders are gorgeous little mouthfuls with Tillamook cheddar and house-made pickles. They leave you wanting more, which is exactly what you get with the main-course cheeseburger, one of the best we’ve had in ages.

Made from a custom blend of brisket and chuck, this is a juicy patty that holds together, yet bursts with flavor. The locally made brioche bun bears up well, and the house pickles and cheddar simply gild the lily.

American. 2743 Franklin Blvd., (916) 454-4942. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH1/2 AMR

monthly, but the highlights are the chefs’ tasters—small bites scattered throughout the dining area. A recent visit included oyster, faux lasagna bites, citrusy duck, and “kettle corn” cones of puffed wild rice, amaranth and corn with black-truffle caramel, which tasted sweet, salty and positively deadly. American.

2225 Hurley Way, Ste. 101; (916) 568-7171. Dinner for one: $100-$300. HHHH J.B.

Fair Oaks Yui Marlu Yui Marlu serves up California rolls, plus other American-style makizushi, but its mastery lies in Japanesestyle sushi and an assortment of other traditional fare. Here, the omakase was the pièce de résistance—one of those dishes that everyone stares at when it comes out of the kitchen. It looks like a flashy Dali-esque painting, with raw fish piled into small flower patterns atop scallop shells and a bed of microgreens, dollops of sauce, piles of ginger, slender slices of fried plantains sticking out upwards of 6 inches from the plate, and slices of lemon, radish and cucumber. And it tastes as surreal as it looks: The fish is fresh, fleshy and flavorful. The Rainbow roll and the Linda roll are like most American-style rolls served locally, but better. Japanese. 6720 Madison Ave., Ste. 5 in Fair Oaks; (916) 966-5639. Dinner for one: $15-$30. HHHH1/2 J.M.

Big cheese

In the past few years, Sacramento seems to have gone cheese crazy.

There’s now a handful of restaurants serving gourmet cheese plates (The Rind, The Cultured & The Cured, and Block Butcher Bar) and even a place to get gourmet grilled-cheese sandwiches for lunch (Cheese Louise). Now, the city’s hosting the American Cheese Society’s annual conference and Festival of Cheese. The conference—which commenced on July 29, at the Sacramento Convention Center (1400 J Street) and runs through Friday, August 1—is an industry event for the artisan- and specialty-cheese community throughout the United States. But the Festival of Cheese is also open to the public. The event starts at 7 p.m. on August 1, and tickets, which cost $60 at http://festivalofcheese.brownpaper tickets.com, include unlimited samples of cheese, crackers, fruit, chocolate, charcuterie, wine, craft beer and cider—plus a commemorative wine glass and cocktail plate. For more information about the American Cheese Society, head to www.cheesesociety.org.

—Jonathan Mendick

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6821 Stockton Blvd #110 Facebook.com/VampirePenguin916

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vampire penguin

1426 14th Street | 916.389.0369 | CapCitySqueeze.com Mon - Fri 7am - 6pm | Sat 9am - 3pm

Shaved Snow and deSSertS

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french cuff consignment krazy mary’s boutique sugar shack boutique sei bella boutique m.a.r.k. vintage heart boutique rire boutique midikat cuffs

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o r m o r e at a l l s to r e s d i s c o u n t e d g i f t c e r t i f i c at e s ava i l a b l e f o r p u r c h a s e o n b u s

sat sept 6 | 9:30am-6pm $ 35 tickets

ticket includes 1 seat on the bus that will be traveling to 7 boutiques with lunch included purchase at snrsweetdeals.newsreview.com

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9 boutiques

Participaesting Boutiqu

FIND OF THE WEEK

Escape from the circus LaSt Chain on BiLLie Billie, an Asian elephant captured as a baby and trained for the circus, serves as the focal point for BOOK Carol Bradley’s history of animals in American circuses. Last Chain on Billie: How One Extraordinary Elephant Escaped the Big Top (St. Martin’s Press, $25.99) follows Billie from capture to her eventual release to The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee—hence the “last chain” of the title. It’s a thorough examination of the mistreatment of animals captured, trained and exhibited for the entertainment of humans. Exhaustively footnoted, Bradley details cruel training practices and the ethical questions around using animals this way. While Billie is the exemplar of these practices, the book’s mission is to inform and outrage, and it is extremely effective at that.

—Kel Munger

As Davis as it gets CLipS Beer & FiLm tour New Belgium Brewing Company visits Davis again for its annual Clips Beer & Film Tour. It’ll bring a big screen to Community Park, plus 17 varieties of New Belgium brews. There will also be food from Monticello, The Davis Graduate and Nugget Market. It all benefits Davis Bicycles, a nonprofit dedicated to bicycle advocacy. In other words, the event is the most Davis-y thing possible.

BEER Free, 7:30 p.m. on Friday, August 1, at Community Park, 1405 F Street in Davis; www.newbelgium.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

DIY cute deLta WorkShop SCreen-printing CLaSS Don’t just buy into corporate cute: Craft your own cuteness at Delta Workshop’s screen-printing class.

(Cute not your thing? No worries, you CLASS can go emo, punk, goth or, you know, whatever.) The $80 three-session workshop will equip students with the basics—a silk screen, art paper and a T-shirt—plus all the hands-on help needed to print your own images or designs to paper, clothing or other fabrics. The class has two scheduled workshops, on Sunday, August 10, and Sunday, August 24, and participants will also schedule an individual class. Sign up now—anti-corporate style’s spirit rages hard, and these things fill up fast. 10 a.m., 2598 21st Street, (916) 455-1125, www.deltaworkshopsac.com.

—Rachel Leibrock

Cracker jack of all trades Beatnik StudioS’ anniverSary and reopening It’s hard to believe that Beatnik Studios hasn’t been around forever. Even though it’s only existed for six years, its impact on the local arts scene has been significant.

The space launched in 2008 as a photography cooperative, PARTY and over the years, it has evolved and expanded into something of an artistic catchall, taking on seemingly everything—and killing it, be it live-music shows, art exhibitions, dance parties or as a wedding venue.

Now, even though it’s hardly middle-aged, the venue, which closed briefly, has just received a bit of a facelift. Well, it’s more of a complete overhaul, actually, with a move to a new location.

Previously located on 17th Street off Broadway, the new Beatnik Studios is housed downtown at 723 S Street and will celebrate its latest incarnation with a party on Saturday, August 2. There will be food plus drinks from Two Rivers Cider Company, Rubicon Brewing Company and New Helvetia Brewing Company.

There will also be a performance by Aerial Evolution and live music by Proxy Moon, Güero (whose singer Ricky Krull is pictured above), Jazz Gitan and the Foxtails.

The party is free—which means you’ve got no excuse not to pony up for an anniversary present. Tradition dictates that a sixth anniversary should be celebrated with candy. A box of Cracker Jack, maybe? 6 p.m. on Saturday, August 2, at Beatnik Studios, 723 S Street; (916) 400-4281; www.beatnik-studios.com.

—Rachel Leibrock

Intimacy’s bush league I went through all the pain to get a Brazilian bikini wax, but my boyfriend didn’t say anything. Finally, I asked him what he thought, and he admitted he didn’t notice! All he said was, “Well, you normally trim down there, right?” I flipped out, and we had a huge fight. Is he even in the room when we’re having sex? How can he not tell the difference between a landing strip and a

by Joey ga bush? I haven’t talked to him in rcia days, and he hasn’t called me.

I know he’s pissed off about a s kj o ey @ n ewsreview.c om the fight and thinks I made a big deal out of nothing. Did I? You argued with your boyfriend because he failed to Joey acknowledge the extra effort you thinks your expended to please him. But that’s flirtationships are too not why you’re angry. Anger is complicated. the shield you employed to avoid admitting how scared you are. Your man checked out of the relationship, and you don’t know when or why.

A realization of that magnitude can also leave you wondering what else you may have missed.

If you kiss and make up, you will never have to suffer the pain of a Brazilian wax job again.

Let’s put that fear aside temporarily and consider another perspective. Your boyfriend’s interior focus during sex is so deliciously intense that he pays little attention to externals. He’s the kind of guy who couldn’t care less about sexy bras and thongs.

He’s transfixed by how it all feels inside. That’s possible, right?

If you reflect and realize that he’s not into what you wear or look like, but is completely into being with you, call him. If you kiss and make up, you will never have to suffer the pain of a Brazilian wax job again. If you can’t repair your relationship, at least you can laugh about the extremes that women go to in order to keep sex spicy.

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

BEFORE

I found out about her (profession, awards, hometown and current city of residence). She became agitated, accused me of stalking and left. I don’t understand. It seems absolutely sensible to research someone before a date. She blocked me on the dating site after sending me a warning to never contact her again. Is she crazy and overreacting, or am I missing something?

It’s perfectly acceptable to type the name of a potential date into a search engine and see what pops up. No one wants to find out later that a love interest is on the FBI’s most-wanted list, or is actually married, or writes an online blog for birthers or other fringe conspiracists.

But you crossed the line when you dropped too many details into the conversation. Here’s why: Online dating profiles allow a user to list the information that she or her wants others to know. The expectation is that when the singles meet, the juicy specifics of each life will be exchanged.

The woman you met may have had a prior experience with a stalker or may just want to keep her professional life separate from her personal life. Your actions revealed that you knew more about her than she knew about you. Power dynamics like that are a turnoff on a first date. So while your intention in Googling her was sensible self-care, it’s not good manners to act like she’s a research project. Do a search-engine check, but don’t memorize the details of a potential date’s life.

The next time you connect with a woman online, invite her to type your name into a search engine. Let her know that you plan to check her out, too. If she balks, you can decide if the connection is worth pursuing. Ω

Meditation of the Week “Smile, it’s free therapy,” said the Rev. Douglas Horton, a Protestant minister. When a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? Do you smile at homeless strangers, too?

I had a date with a woman I met online. After we spoke on the phone and before our initial face-toface, I Googled her. On the date I mentioned the very positive things

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Thurs, Fri & Sat thru Aug 9th, 2014

Theater amid the trees As You Like It Celebration Arts Theatre 4469 D Street (45th & D) East Sacramento 95819 www.celebrationarts.net 916/455-2787 Thurs, Fri & Sat at 8pm Sundays at 2pm Buy Tickets Online: www.celebrationarts.net Gen $15 Students, Sen & SARTA $13 Thurs $8

All the kinks have been worked out. And the lakeside amphitheater, with the breezes off the water and the moon rising during the show, adds a natural bonus as well. Ω

Shakespeare’s As You Like It is a pastoral comedy exploring the stark contrast between dangerously politicized city life (under a paranoid, usurping by Jeff Hudson duke) and bucolic country life (where the exiled rightful duke enjoys a gentle campout à la Robin Hood, and love blossoms between young couples).

Director Edward Morgan sets the tale in America’s gritty Industrial Age in the early 1900s. The city scenes feature clanking machinery and factory workers in sooty clothes, plus industrial barons wearing formal black.

The country scenes are theoretically set in the Adirondack Mountains—but they could have been placed more locally in the Lake Tahoe summer estates built by San Francisco tycoons of that era (palatial “cottages” now preserved at the Tallac Historic Site).

4

4 The Language Archive

PHoTo BY JoY STroTz

ALLEY KATZ PRESENTS

This is what summer love looks like.

As You Like It, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday; $15-$85. Lake Tahoe Shakespeare Festival at Sand Harbor State Park, 2005 State Highway 28 in Incline Village, Nev.; (800) 747-4697; www.laketahoe shakespeare.com.

Through August 24.

SATURDAY, SEPT 13 | 5PM 2019 O ST | SACRAMENTO 916.442.2682 32

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Morgan includes the American entertainment of that era, including barbershop vocal harmony sung around a campfire, instead of Shakespeare’s “hey, nonny nonny” songs. But the text is all Shakespeare’s: Veteran actor David Anthony Smith (as Jacques) scores a direct hit with the famous “All the world’s a stage” soliloquy (earning a nice round of spontaneous applause on opening night). Betsy Mugavero (Rosalind) has a lovely balance of energy, intelligence and nerve—she’s dressed like a suffragette (and later, a clever boy), but she’s more interested in romancing young Orlando (a buff Torsten Johnson) than in any social crusade.

Dustin Tucker presents the clown touchstone as a smirking vaudeville tap dancer and comedian.

There are 13 Actors’ Equity Association actors in the cast, and professional designers handling the costumes, music, sets and sound.

And unlike some festival shows that feel a tad underrehearsed on opening night, this one is as smooth as silk—little wonder, since the production originated in April in Cleveland, then ran during June at the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, then came to Tahoe with virtually the same cast.

Sometimes what we don’t say is just as important—or catastrophic—as what we do say.

At least, that’s the undercurrent running through The Language Archive by Julia Cho, currently in production at Big Idea Theatre.

George (Eason Donner) is a bookish fellow who begins by telling us that his wife, Mary (the luminous Jessa Berkey) is suffering from sadness. Unable to make him understand why she is so sad, she has begun leaving him notes— a strange form of poetry—on scraps of paper stuffed where he will find them. When she tells him she is leaving him, he finds it impossible to say what he feels.

The irony is that George is a linguist, a professor at The Language Archive, where he records, stores and studies languages that are disappearing as their native speakers die out.

He’s aided by Emma (Elizabeth Holzman), who has fallen quietly, desperately in love with him.

Their latest project is an elderly married couple (Shaleen Schmutzer-Smith and Scott Divine) who are the last native speakers of Elloway.

Unfortunately, they are fighting—and they only fight in English, a language “good for hatred.”

Yes, it’s funny—uproariously so, at moments—but it’s also sad and heartwarming.

George’s inability to express emotion is pushed to the limit, while Emma struggles to identify and give voice to her own feelings.

Directed by Benjamin T. Ismail and with a fantastic, flexible set designed by Brian Watson, The Language Archive takes us on a journey through the relationship between words and feelings.

It is only in the play’s final moments that the story stumbles, when the playwright seems to have been unable to resist the urge to tie up every loose end in an epilogue that diminishes some of the power that comes from watching people struggle through the middle of their lives. If we learn anything at all from narrative language, it’s that people—like words—resist tidy endings.

That flaw in the play aside, this production— and the stellar work by Donner, Berkey and Holzman—keeps the magic in the magical realism while still taking us to that most inarticulate of places: the center of the human heart.

—Kel Munger

The Language Archive, 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday, Saturday; $10-$20. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Boulevard; (916) 960-3036; www.bigideatheatre.com. Through August 23.

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4

The Flu Season

4

Marat/Sade

Though the story and its overall messages can get a bit convoluted under all the theatrics, songs, the play-within-aplay concept and the playwright’s plotlines, this theatrical spectacle is entertaining and absorbing.

Director Kent Johnson, with the help of choreographer Lori Russo, keeps the many juggling balls in the air—careful not to let the production overpower the play, or even the play take over the play.

F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 8/10. $15-$20. California Stage Theater at the R25 Arts Complex, 1725 25th St.; (916) 451-5822; www.calstage.org. P.R.

4

Much Ado About Nothing

This comedy of misperception is set in post-World War I England and benefits from the

chemistry and talent of the actors playing Beatrice (Jackie Gailbreath) and Benedick (Russell Dow), as well as the lovely pastoral setting in William Land Park. Directed by Lori Ann Delappe-Grondin, Much Ado plays in repertory with The Three Musketeers. Th, Sa 8pm. Through 8/2. $15-$18, Sacramento Shakespeare Festival in the William A. Carroll Amphitheatre in William Land Park, 3901 Land Park Dr.; www.sacramentoshakespeare. net. K.M.

1 FOUL

2 FAIR

4

The Three Musketeers

The Sacramento Shakespeare Festival adds Ken Ludwig’s adaptation of the Alexandre Dumas classic actionadventure tale to the season’s repertory. Brave d’Artagnan, his little sister and the three musketeers keep evil Cardinal Richelieu and his henchwoman Milady from killing the king and taking France to war—using a sword fight approximately every seven minutes.

It’s great fun for kids, with humor the adults will enjoy. Directed by Christine Nicholson and in repertory with Much Ado About Nothing, The Three Musketeers is a great way to spend a summer evening with the family. F 8pm, Su 6pm.

Through 8/3. $15-$18. Sacramento Shakespeare Festival in the William A. Carroll Amphitheatre in William Land Park, 3901 Land Park Dr.; www.sacramentoshakespeare. net. K.M.

3 GOOD

4 WELL-DONE

5 SUBLIME–DON’T MISS

Short reviews by Kel Munger and Patti Roberts.

PhOTO By FLETchER OAKES

This apartment looked better on Google’s Street View.

Mime activism The Tony Award-winning San Francisco Mime Troupe, still outrageous after 55 years, visits Sacramento on Saturday, August 2, and Sunday, August 3, at 4 p.m. for two free outdoor performances in Sacramento’s Southside Park (Sixth and T streets). It’ll be performing a new political-satire musical titled Ripple Effect. The show depicts the loss of neighborhood diversity as the tech industry’s Google Glass-wearing nouveau riche get rid of longtime low-income renters by buying apartments and evicting the occupants, in what amounts to a “war on the poor.” It’s barbed political street theater with no holds barred, and no sacred cows spared. The San Francisco Mime Troupe started in 1959 during the Eisenhower era, and has staged shows addressing issues including civil rights, the wars in Vietnam and Iraq, and the power of the oil industry. And this troupe talks, sings and dances—it’s not the silent-mime type, like Marcel Marceau. For info, visit www.sfmt.org.

BEsT of SacrameNTO h on stands 9.11.14

This play is a fascinating comedic drama filled with non sequiturs, wandering plotlines, interesting characters, Samuel Beckett-like prose, contortions and experiments in the written word. Once you’re aware that the structure and language of The Flu Season aren’t going to follow the norm, you can let the story, characters and words flow where they will and appreciate the art of a skilled playwright playing with plot and prose. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 8/10. $15-$18.

Ovation Stage at the Three Penny Theatre in the R25 Arts Complex, 1723 25th St.; (916) 606-5050; www.ovationstage.com. P.R.

—Jeff Hudson

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Intergalactic kvetch Guardians of the Galaxy There is an enjoyable sequence early in director James Gunn’s otherwise busy and dispiriting Marvel comic-book adaptation of Guardians of the by Daniel Barnes Galaxy that prepares the palate for original flavors otherwise absent. Chris Pratt of Parks and Recreation dials it down a level to play Peter Quill, the film’s mysteriously orphaned space bandit protagonist. Under the opening credits, Quill joyfully dances through a marshy alien landscape to the tune of Redbone’s AM radio staple “Come and Get Your Love,” at one point grabbing a CGI alien reptile to use as a prop microphone.

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4 Very Good

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It’s an ecstatic scene, joyful and self-effacing where every other Marvel smirk-fest of late has been getting dreadfully solemn about its own gobbledygook. There is an exhilarating impression that the film may actually have the guts to surrender to Pratt’s Kool-Aid Man chaos, but the feeling is short-lived. Soon, we’re stuck following magical orbs and infinity stones with the awesome power to do things I never really cared about, and Pratt’s dizzy charm is pushed aside in favor of plot-heavy predictability and Marvel Universe-building.

Once again, the bad guys are mush-faced nonentities with vague agendas who talk like condescending schoolmarms. Once again, the main baddie Ronan (Lee Pace) is portrayed and described as a “religious extremist” and a “terrorist” (cough, radical Muslim, cough). Once again, characters blather on about peace treaties instead of anything interesting or cool. Once again, the plot hinges on our heroes saving an entire planet from destruction. Once again, any potential character investment is spent on blobby CGI, sentimental-message mongering and a nonsensical third-act light show that refuses to end.

Does any of this sound depressingly familiar?

In last year’s equally hollow Thor: The Dark World, the climax took place in a red cloud; here, it takes place in a purple cloud. Progress!

With an ensemble cast that includes a talking raccoon and a sentient, self-reproducing tree, Guardians of the Galaxy is more ostensibly a “comedy” than other Marvel properties like Thor

and Captain America, but it offers roughly the same amount of jokey and juvenile bickering as those other films. Far from upending the Marvel formula, this is just another entry in its spreadsheet, The Avengers minus the monstrous egos.

After Quill takes off with the orb, he becomes the target of intergalactic bounty hunters—first, a beautiful, green-skinned Ronan loyalist (Zoe Saldana) whose motivation changes whenever the pace lags, and then an acerbic talking raccoon named Rocket. Bradley Cooper voices the role of Rocket, and Vin Diesel provides the grunts of his sidekick Groot, an anthropomorphic tree who can only speak the words, “I am Groot,” yet who still holds an easy rapport with the raccoon.

Rocket and Groot’s friendship is the most successful aspect of the film, and suggests the same sort of deep affection between fantastical creatures that made the original Star Wars universe so fascinating. It’s a likeable cast all around, especially when WCW wrestler Dave Bautista joins the team as Drax, a musclebound, blotched-red alien with a grudge against Ronan. I want to see a movie with these actors playing these characters learning and bonding through their adventures, but the problem is that Gunn can barely squeeze in a few minutes of uninspired squabbling and pat lesson-learning between nonthreatening, nonstop special effects fireworks and inconsequential plot garbage.

There is an exhilarating impression that the film may have the guts to surrender to Chris Pratt’s Kool-Aid Man chaos, but the feeling is short-lived.

Before that sublime “Come and Get Your Love” sequence described above, Guardians of the Galaxy indulges in a little universe building of its own. In a brief precredits scene, a young Peter sees his mother die from cancer, and overwhelmed with grief, he escapes into a nearby field, where he gets picked up by a passing spaceship. Quill’s origin story is then ignored until the conclusion, and this scene only adds two more plot MacGuffins for Gunn to juggle, all leading to an unconvincing “swing away” moment.

Of course, the real point is to create a through line to the next movie: Just like everything else in the Marvel cinematic universe, Guardians of the Galaxy exists solely to advertise its own as-yet-unmade sequels. Ω

by daniel barnes & JiM lane

3

And So It Goes

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A mean, self-absorbed real-estate agent (Michael Douglas) finds himself saddled with a granddaughter he never knew existed (Sterling Jerins) while his estranged son (Scott Shepherd) does a stretch in prison. Care of the girl falls to his next-door neighbor (Diane Keaton), even though the two oldsters can barely stand each other. Mark Andrus’ script is excruciatingly predictable; there’s never a minute when we don’t know precisely where it’s going and how it plans to get there. Director Rob Reiner could make this kind of movie in his sleep, and he almost does, keeping himself awake by taking a supporting role (and wearing a hilariously bad toupee). Douglas and Keaton are a couple of pros, and they (with an assist from Frances Sternhagen as Douglas’ co-worker) manage to keep this leaky old tub afloat. Just barely. J.L.

2

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

The Fluffy Movie

So much of a stand-up comedian’s success hinges on their ability to connect to an audience, and to connect the people in the audience to each other through laughter. The material of comedian Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias seems especially dependent on an audience investment in the inspirational and emotional aspects of his life story, from his battle with morbid obesity to his rocky relationship with his girlfriend’s son to his own estranged father.

That’s the appeal of The Fluffy Movie, an affable but unremarkable feature-length stand-up concert documentary filmed over two nights in San Jose, and the problem. There is a casual and somewhat lazy assumption in the material that the viewer is already familiar with the Fluffy origin story, so The Fluffy Movie is both an insufficient entry point for newbies, and a too-familiar series of callbacks for longtime Fluffy fans. D.B.

3

The Grand Seduction

A withering Canadian fishing village hopes to land a new factory to revitalize the local economy, but they must have a local doctor, so the town’s mayor (Brendan Gleeson) schemes to waylay a just-passing-through plastic surgeon (Taylor Kitsch) and convince him that this is just the place to put down roots. Written by Michael Dowse and Ken Scott and directed by Don McKellar, the movie is another specimen of that British whimsy that stretches from 1949’s Kind Hearts and Coronets to The Full Monty and beyond— which is a little odd, since it’s an English-language remake of a French-Canadian movie of 2003.

The villagers’ chicanery is sometimes more exasperating than amusing, but the two stars, along with a supporting cast of eccentric actors largely unknown outside Canada, keep the charm level high enough to entertain. J.L.

BEFORE

“STEADILY ABSORBING.” - Justin Chang, VARIETY

A MOST WANTED MAN WED/THUR: 11:00AM, 1:35, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45PM FRI-TUES: 11:00AM, 1:35, 4:15, 7:00, 9:40PM NO TUES 7:00PM

“EXCEPTIONALLY FINE.”

“ENCHANTING.”- Claudia Puig, USA TODAY

WED/THUR: 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40PM FRI-TUES: 12:50PM

WED: 12:00, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50PM THUR: 12:00, 9:50PM FRI, SUN, MON: 10:45AM, 3:05PM SAT, TUES: 3:05PM

“WILL WIN YOUR HEART.”

I ORIGINS BEGIN AGAIN THEGRAND SEDUCTION - Todd McCarthy, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

Ebert's last picture show.

- Jordan Hoffman, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

ENDS THUR., 7/31

WED/THUR: 11:30AM

GKIDS SUMMER FILM SERIES: TALES OF THE NIGHTS 7/31 @ 3:30PM • ERNEST & CELESTINE 8/2 @ 11AM, 8/5 @ 11AM FOR ADVANCE TICKETS PLEASE VISIT FANDANGO.COM

Matt Reeves’ Dawn is a technically adroit but flavorless sequel to Rupert Wyatt’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes reboot, and it trashes the surprising narrative structure of its predecessor in favor of a more factory-tested, post-apocalyptic gloom. Dawn opens 10 years after the end of Rise, and in the decade since, most of humanity has been wiped out by a deadly virus, with only a small band of survivors left.

Meanwhile, the supersmart apes are starting to thrive, and Dawn covers the conflict between these two societies in flux. The motion-captured monkey effects are next-generation stuff, a leap forward from the leap forward of Rise, and the various CGI primates have a tactile presence that is legitimately jaw-dropping. Too bad the megapixels are the only things that matter here, and no matter how photo-realistic the monkey fur, a cardboard character is still a cardboard character. D.B.

3

STARTS FRI., 8/1 FRI-TUES: 11:30AM, 2:55, 5:15, 6:15, 8:35, 9:35PM

Begin Again

Begin Again is director John Carney’s blatant attempt to recapture the magic of his 2006 surprise hit Once, and if it seems churlish to hold this shiny new product’s feet to that previous film’s lo-fi flame, blame Carney for continuously rubbing our noses in it. He practically begs for the comparison, but everything fresh and original about Once has been recycled and sanitized, and Begin Again is broad and excessive where Once was charming and concise.

The film has an irresistible concept and all the necessary elements to make it work, but instead of trusting that, Carney overloads the film with artifice and plot. Begin Again feels like it should work, but never does, and in that sense, it is a lot like one of those God-awful Rock and Roll Hall of Fame jam bands, where talented entertainers team up to create a tuneless cacophony. D.B.

3

“EXTRAORDINARY.” - Richard Corliss, TIME MAGAZINE

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Life Itself

Well before the beginning of the very honest and open health struggles that finally claimed his life in April 2013, Pulitzer Prize-winning critic and TV star Roger Ebert was already America’s feisty, folksy, film-literate grandpa.

He was a great critic who inspired a lot of bad criticism—you can’t fake folksy, although many have tried. Ebert had a special knack for communicating directly and personally to his readers, conveying authority and intelligence without coming off as pedantic, a trait that only improved when thyroid cancer robbed him of speech. Therefore, it’s appropriate to the subject that Steve James’ affectionate documentary Life Itself, based on Ebert’s autobiography and shot as he was fading away in a Chicago hospital, works as a sincere and powerful portrayal of mortality and undying love, while tabling discussion on Ebert’s place in the critical pantheon other than to say, “F*** Pauline Kael.” D.B.

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Hercules

The same creaky and goofy qualities that make Brett Ratner’s Hercules mediocre in any era are also what make it almost recommendable in this time of doom-shrouded action cinema. This Hercules comes in at 98 minutes, and you can practically see the knife marks where Ratner hacked away at flatulent subplots and unnecessary backstory—it’s a film of low ambitions, and it achieves them.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who already appears to be molded from his own action figure, is the perfect Hercules for this treatment, and while there is not a single surprising beat in the film, it’s still an entertaining whir of training montages, inspirational speeches and snarling villains. A supporting cast of slumming teethgnashers led by John Hurt, Ian McShane and Peter Mullan don’t just chew the scenery, they dunk it in water and slide it down their gullets like Kobayashi at Nathan’s. D.B.

4

I Origins

A Ph.D. student in molecular biology (Michael Pitt) with a fascination with people’s eyes—he’s taken thousands of photos of them—meets a mysterious young woman (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey), then loses her on their wedding day. Six years later, he’s married to his former lab assistant (Brit Marling), and their joint research into ocular evolution leads him into almost mystical areas that his cool, methodical mind can hardly grasp. Writer-director Mike Cahill follows his first feature, the ridiculous Another Earth, with a huge improvement, a striking work of metaphysical science fiction.

The skeptical hero’s research—his search, really—forces him to confront ideas and concepts he has always dismissed, and he glimpses some of those “more things in heaven and earth” that Hamlet warned Horatio about. J.L.

4

Lucy

This enchantingly nutso crossbreeding of La Femme Nikita, D.O.A. and Altered States is the most tangible proof that director Luc Besson gives a rat’s ass since the 1990s.

Scarlett Johansson, adding another brilliant movement to her recent suite of performances that explore female identity and alienation (Her, Under the Skin), plays the title role, a student in Taiwan forced to be a mule for a crime syndicate’s new smart drug. When the surgically implanted package ruptures in her stomach, Lucy’s brain begins to unlock previously untapped potential, causing her to rapidly evolve beyond pain, pity, and the laws of time and space. The heavily advertised central concept that most humans use only 10 percent of their brain is completely wrong, of course,

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but Lucy has a lot of self-aware fun with its pseudoscience, culminating in one of the most peculiar endings of the year. D.B.

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A Most Wanted Man

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Sex Tape

3

Wish I Was Here

A German anti-terrorism agent (Philip Seymour Hoffman) trails a Chechen who illegally enters Hamburg, and through a local lawyer (Rachel McAdams), petitions a banker (Willem Dafoe) for the fortune deposited years ago by his Russian father. Meanwhile, German police and an American agent (Robin Wright) meddle with Hoffman’s efforts to determine whether the Chechen is a refugee or a terrorist.

Adapted from John le Carré’s novel, the movie is his usual sour litany of scheming and betrayal among people whose moral compasses point in different directions—when they exist at all, which is seldom. This one is well-acted but bleaker than usual, thanks to an uninvolving story, a shortage of sympathetic characters, leaden pacing by director Anton Corbijn, and washed-out, dreary cinematography by Benoît Delhomme. J.L.

A suburban couple (Jason Segel, Cameron Diaz) tries spicing up their love life by recording themselves in the act, but instead of erasing it afterward, they accidentally upload it to the cloud, which then distributes the video to several iPads—including that of the straightarrow CEO (Rob Lowe) who’s about to hire the wife. Written by Segel, Nicholas Stoller and Kate Angelo and directed by Jake Kasdan, this risqué comedy is raunchy on the surface but surprisingly sweet at the center. It sags badly in the middle, but is pretty funny on both ends. It leaves us laughing, so we forgive the 20 minutes or so that tried our patience. J.L.

A struggling actor (Zach Braff) tries home-schooling his kids when his ailing father (Mandy Patinkin) can no longer pay for their private school. Director, star and co-writer (with his brother Adam J. Braff) Braff’s movie is a labor of love on all levels, sweetly disarming in its desire to please and uplift. The script is more than a little scattershot and unfocused, but that’s not a bug, it’s a feature: The hero’s life is similarly unfocused, and undertaking a free-form education for his son (Pierce Gagnon) and daughter (Joey King) helps bring clarity to his own life, and to his relationship with his dad, his emotionally stunted brother (Josh Gad) and his supportive wife (Kate Hudson). The movie piles episode on episode like a game of Tetris, each interlocking with the others in a quirky and satisfying way. J.L.

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Aqua force Salt Wizard dishes on all things water, chill time and spices

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The drought might be costing the state billions, killing livestock and eliminating jobs, but Salt Wizard’s creative process, luckily, has by Janelle Bitker remained unscathed.

Water is a huge influence for the West j a ne l l e b @ Sacramento alternative indie band, after all. ne w s re v i e w . c o m Singer-songwriters Rachel Lomax and Eric Warren live together near the Sacramento River. Their bedroom recording studio is called Riverbank Records. Separately, they wrote the songs on Salt Wizard’s debut, self-titled album— released in May—and there’s a remarkable amount of aquatic imagery.

PhoTo by ALEC morEno

“ Getting famous and all that stuff is cool, but for me, it’s really just this wonderful two hours that we have to do something kick-ass, to spend time with good friends.”

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Spice girl— and boys.

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36 | SN&R | 07.31.14

“It’s evolved into a pretty important thing we do every week, I think because we are so busy,” Melcer says. “The music industry, getting famous and all that stuff is cool, but for me, it’s really just this wonderful two hours that we have to do something kick-ass, to spend time with good friends.”

Salt Wizard formed about two years ago.

Warren and Ordonez were both in E-Squared, the Sammie award-winning jazz band. Lomax was already entrenched in the local music scene as part of Be Brave Bold Robot and Light the Beacon Fires. Unrelated to music, she and Warren started dating. Then Lomax met Melcer, who also plays with the Neighbors, on the openmic circuit.

The band’s first album is a collection of songs written by Lomax and Warren, which means it moves between two pretty distinct styles; Lomax brings a quirkier, dark folk edge to pop songs, while Warren brings more experimental, jazz and noise elements. Now, all four members are writing new songs together.

And while the first batch of tracks were sweet easy-listeners, the band says the new songs are simultaneously more groovy and baroque.

Catch Salt Wizard on Friday, August 1, at Shine at 1400 E Street.

The show starts at 8 p.m., and the cover is $5. Desario and Duplx are also on the bill. Learn more about the band at www.facebook.com/ saltwizard.

“It’s everything,” Lomax says. “It’s leisure and survival here in the summer. For me, it’s also symbolic of so many things: change, transformation, as well as being held, and a source of inspiration and creation.”

And, guitarist Ron Melcer quips, “It’s consistent with my research.”

The bandmates’ common connection to water is only trumped by their commonly crazy schedules. Melcer is a researcher for the state while completing his Ph.D. at UC Davis, studying Sacramento’s rivers and ecosystems. Lomax also works full time at a mental-health clinic while finishing up a graduate program on weekends in San Francisco. Warren works on-call in medical transportation. Drummer Anthony Ordonez works in graphic design. Getting them all together at the same time is tricky.

“The album came out really chill. I don’t think we were expecting that—sometimes we really feel like we’re rocking out,” Lomax says. “But I think we’re moving toward that.

One of our new songs had this epic 20-minute, Sigur Rós thing going on, and we were like, ‘What was that?’”

But Lomax and Warren are still writing the lyrics, which Warren says balance the serious with the absurd. Take the opening lines to “Porch,” for example: “Clouds in the sky, they look so foamy / People walk by, they look so lonely / And I don’t care if I eat macaroni for the rest of my life / I’ll always be boney.”

For the record, Warren does care about being stuck eating macaroni forever. He loves food too much. In fact, that’s how the band got its name.

Warren and Lomax were camping, and they entirely forgot seasonings. No butter, no spices, no salt.

“We wished there was a magical being that would come and season our food,” he says.

Hence Salt Wizard’s self-described sound: “magic.” Ω

SN&R

Gold country: A new country bar, restaurant and live-music venue opens on Friday, August 1. Led by Bret Bair and Eric Rushing of Ace of Spades, and Tyler Williams of Tank House BBQ and Bar, Goldfield Trading Post has some serious promise.

The venue replaces Hamburger Patties at 1630 J Street. So far, the weekly lineup includes a Mondaynight open-mic hosted by James Cavern, free line-dancing lessons on Tuesdays and live country band karaoke on Wednesdays. Friday night will feature up-and-coming Nashville country singer Joey Hyde—the official after-party for Jon Pardi’s show at Ace of Spades. It starts at 10 p.m., and there’s no cover. For more, check out www.goldfieldtradingpost.com.

#CIP2014: The city’s biggest, free summer concert series has come to a close. Last Friday night, a most amusing cross-section of Sacramentans converged on Cesar Chavez Plaza for the final installment of Concerts in the Park. Suburban empty-nesters taking advantage of their big night out, hip music scenesters, awkward punk teenagers, tiny children and, most importantly, Kenny “The Dancing Man” Buchanan.

BEFORE

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fig. 1 .b

Over 12 weeks, more than 70,000 people attended CIP. A new record!

Congratulations, everyone.

In the supporting slot, Jeremy Briggs showed off his post-The Voice pipes. Briggs used to be the frontman for southern rock band Relic 45. He landed on the NBC singing competition show and lasted a couple rounds.

And though it seemed brief to viewers, Briggs has said it was an amazing learning experience. Concerts in the Park marked his second local gig since the show aired. While there were definitely some fans in attendance, there seemed to be more murmurs of, “Holy crap, who is this guy?” Now playing under his own name, Briggs’ sound is full and rockin’, his voice powerful and precise.

Crowds rushed the stage for the Brodys—the band’s 18th performance at Concerts in the Park. It’s like a tradition, including the Brodys’ “Hungry Like the Wolf” cover. Or should I say, cover medley. The band moved quickly through a number of iconic songs—verse to verse, mention to mention—such as “I Melt With You,” “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles),” “Blister in the Sun” and “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” At least 50 people jumped on stage to dance for the last few moments, screaming and waving, until the music stopped and an organizer immediately took the mic: “Thanks so much for a great season, now please, everyone, get off the stage.”

A new weekly party, Concerts in the Plaza, launches at the Downtown Plaza in front of Macy’s. Starting Friday, August 1, through Friday, September 5, local bands will play free shows from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

Next up is rock band Hero’s Last Mission. For the full lineup, head to www.sacdowntownplaza.com.

on stands 9.11.14

Jazz but funny: Construction across from Fremont Park could not deter the FreeBadge Serenaders. Instead, the hilarious “discount jazz” duo—plus one—opted to play an improvised “Buzzsaw Blues” when it played the weekly Hot Lunch Concert Series.

Greg Sabin played banjo. Patrick Skiffington was on washboard.

An auxiliary member switched off between upright bass and tuba.

Kazoo solos seemed to be of utmost importance, except during “Buzzsaw Blues.” For that, the three dapper men would stop on cue and point to the construction mess: “Take it away!”

It was perfect lunchtime entertainment—perhaps made even more perfect at night, with a flapper dress and cocktail in hand. Even still, the FreeBadge Serenaders had me roaring with laughter and tapping my feet, all the while eating potato salad.

Serendipitously, they launched into an ode to mayonnaise, with crowd participation. “Shout out if you have mustard in your fridge,” Sabin said, met with cheers. “How about ketchup? Miracle Whip?” The crowd of 50 booed. “Relish? Vegenaise?”

Sabin was met with silence, though Skiffington slowly raised his hand.

No shame—I have Vegenaise in my fridge, too.

There was a lovely old-timey, radio-theater quality to Sabin’s interludes. And with so many children sitting around, it sometimes felt like educational storytelling. He sang about things of local importance, such as Shakey’s Pizza Parlor and Apple Hill.

The Serenaders concluded with what might be my favorite song about Sacramento ever: “Sacramento, Ca USA.” It’s sassy, self-deprecating and, mostly, I just adore this line: “Why don’t you come and stay in the city by the city by the bay?”

The free Hot Lunch Concert Series continues at Fremont Park, located on 16th Street between P and Q Streets, with Bellygunner today and Hans! and the Hot Mess, KB & the Slingtones, Broken Voice Club, and Dinorah Curkendall on subsequent Thursdays, 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

BEsT of SacrameNTO

Goodbye CIP, hello country bar

h SAVE WATER, GET IN, OUT, & CLEAN.

(on the corner of 19th and L)

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01FRI

01FRI

01FRI

02SAT

Rockstar Parking

Keri Carr Band

DLRN

8 Bit Weapon

Swabbies, 6 p.m., $5

The Palms Playhouse, 8:30 p.m., $10

Swabbies has dedicated itself to bringing out up-and-coming tribute acts, and this Friday it’s got San Francisco’s Rockstar Parking.

The band features Cindy Cannon (from Kisser, a popular Kiss tribute) on vocals and guitar, as well as her husband, Bobby Cannon (current guitarist of Motörheader and former member of the wildly popular Duran Duran Duran tribute act). If you’re a fan of ’80s and ’90s fare and really do like all genres from the period, this band’s extended set—which covers the whole night—should please. Any band that covers ROCK Bananarama’s “Venus” and subsequently launches into Styx’s “Too Much Time on My Hands” is fine by me.

5871 Garden Highway, www.facebook.com/ rockstarparkingtribute.

—Eddie Jorgensen

What do country rock, blues, old-school ’70s country, three-part harmonies and Mexican ballads have in common? They’re all part of the diverse repertoire of the Keri Carr Band, fronted by singer-songwriter Keri COUNTRY ROCK Carr. With Geoff Miller on rhythm guitar, Steve Randall on lead guitar, Toby Spencer on drums, R.W. Grigsby on bass and Beth Reid-Grigsby on vocals (part of the three-part harmony—the other two parts are formed by Miller and the band’s namesake), the musical bases are all covered.

In 2012, the band released its self-titled EP featuring several original songs and covers.

13 Main Street in Winters, www.tinyurl.com/ kericarr.

—Trina L. Drotar

Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub, 10:30 p.m., $8-$10 It’s sort of hard to place DLRN on the rather large spectrum that the genre of hip-hop comprises. The duo has some pretty innovative, spacey beats courtesy of Jon Reyes.

There’s also some brooding apocalyptic darkness in there, with synths and minimalist drum beats—all with a production value you’d find on a really mainstream album by the likes of Drake or Kendrick Lamar. The songs are lyrically driven by emcee Sean LaMarr’s smooth, introspective, sometimes Hunter S. Thompson-inspired rhymes (see the track HIP-HOP “Fear & Loathing,” featuring Sacramento singer Stevie Nader). DLRN released half of its new album Neon Noir in June; no word yet about the other half. 2708 J Street, www.facebook.com/ dlrnmusic.

Blue Lamp, 8 p.m., no cover Some bands play guitars, others play Nintendo Game Boys. OK, well, not a lot of bands. But there is a whole scene devoted to this style of music called CHIPTUNE chiptune, and it’s growing every year. One of the earliest chip bands, 8 Bit Weapon, started back in 1999 in Southern California. Seth Sternberger plays an assortment of Game Boys, Commodore computers and even the occasional old-school Apple.

Bandmate Michelle Sternberger adds drums and synths. Anyone unfamiliar with the genre will recognize the bloop and bleep sounds from ’70s and ’80s gaming consoles. 8 Bit Weapon sounds like a cross between early Depeche Mode and Kraftwerk—but played on a Game Boy. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, www.8bitweapon.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

—Aaron Carnes

live MuSic in auguSt aug 01

the royal jelly

aug 02

adrian bellue & chad wilkins

aug 03

dylan crawford unplugged 2-5pm

aug 08

island of black & white & special guest austin miller

aug 09

patrick walsh

aug 15

the bumptet

aug 16

hucklebucks

trivia mondays @ 6:30pm taco tuesdays $1 tacos, $2 coronas open mic wednesdays sign-ups @ 7:30pm karaoke thursdays @ 7:30pm 101 Main Street, roSeville 916-774-0505 · 9:30pm · 21+ facebook.com/bar101roseville

38 | SN&R |

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02SAT

03SUN

03SUN

05TUES

Foxy Shazam

Nickel Creek

Dark Time Sunshine

Ballyhoo!

Assembly Music Hall, 7 p.m., $15

Mondavi Center, 7 p.m., $37-$52

Is there a band with a name that says “glam rock” more than Foxy Shazam?

Maybe Queen, which is fitting; it’s evident that the former draws inspiration from the latter, though Foxy Shazam’s shtick is a little jokier and bit fratty, with a just a touch of Devo. It all makes for an overthe-top, sweaty dance party of a live show.

The Cincinnati, Ohio, natives are on tour in support of their concept album Gonzo, released in April of this year. Stop Light Observations and Moon Mantis open up GLAM ROCK this Saturday-night show at Assembly Music Hall. Rhinestone-studded spandex unitards completely optional. 1000 K Street, www.foxyshazam.com.

—Deena Drewis

San Diego roots trio Nickel Creek grew into the spotlight. Siblings Sean and Sara Watkins joined with Chris Thile (and his chaperone and bassist dad Scott) as tweens, and toured the bluegrass circuit ROOTS throughout their teens. Alison Krauss helped them land a label deal and produced their eponymous debut in 2000, just as O Brother, Where Art Thou? was whetting a generation’s appetite for traditional country. But Nickel Creek has always showcased a wider sensibility, cannily (and increasingly) incorporating pop, jazz and even rock elements. In 2006, it took a hiatus but reunited this year for its 25th anniversary and the energized comeback album A Dotted Line. 9399 Old Davis Road in Davis, www.nickelcreek.com.

Blue Lamp, 8 p.m., $7-$10

Assembly Music Hall, 6:30 p.m., $12

Dark Time Sunshine fans got two serious gifts this summer. First, a tour announcement—the hip-hop duo’s first tour in more than a year. Second, a new song—the first release since its 2012 album ANX. With unexpected, smart wordplay and innovative electronica, Seattle-based rapper Onry Ozzborn and Chicago-based producer Zavala have HIP-HOP created major waves in the modern indie hip-hop scene.

And though Dark Time Sunshine is beloved in alternative underground circles, it commands respect from heavy-hitters, too.

Tracks on ANX, for example, feature huge artists like Aesop Rock. Rafael Vigilantics, Big J. Beats and Century Got Bars are also on the bill. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, www.fakefourinc.com.

—Chris Parker

This Maryland-based four-piece band formed 1995, but didn’t really hit its stride until the late 2000s. Ballyhoo’s most recent album, 2013’s Pineapple Grenade!! (its third in five years), reached No. 4 on the Billboard Heatseekers Albums chart. In that recent flurry of five albums, the group has explored styles such as ska, pop-punk and sunshine pop, but it sounds more like a California reggae-rock group than anything else. Its signature song is arguably the upbeat 2012 single “Walk Away”—a fun, radio-friendly, anti-love REGGAE/ROCK song about letting go of a bad relationship. Random observation: The lead singer looks a little bit like Neil Patrick Harris.

1000 K Street, www.ballyhoorocks.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

—Janelle Bitker

THU 07/31 // 8PM // $5

PROXIMA PARADA CITY OF TREES BRASS BAND SOUL // FOLK FRI 08/01 // 9PM

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UPCOMING SHOWS: 08/12 WHITNEY MORGAN

908 K STREET • SAC 916.446.4361 wwwMarilynsOnK.com BEFORE

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F E AT U R E

STORY

1320 DEL PASO BLVD

STONEYINN.COM | 916.927.6023

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NIGHTBEAT

THURSDAY 7/31

ASSEMBLY MUSIC HALL 1000 K St., (916) 832-4751

List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

BADLANDS

FRIDAY 8/1

SATURDAY 8/2

Fringe comedy and variety show, 9pm, $15

FOXY SHAZAM, STOP LIGHT OBSERVATIONS, MOON MANTIS; 7pm, $15

Tipsy Thursdays, Top 40 deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

Saturday Boom, 9pm, call for cover

Sin Sunday, 8pm, call for cover

Mad Mondays, 9pm M

BAR 101

Karaoke Night, 7:30pm, no cover

THE ROYAL JELLY, 9:30pm, no cover

CHAD WILKINS, ADRIAN BELLUE; 9:30pm, no cover

DYLAN CRAWFORD, 9:30pm, no cover

Trivia Night, 6:30pm M, no cover

BLUE LAMP

TODD N TODD, MARTIN PURTILL, CAMPFIRE CASSETTES, XOCHITL; 8pm, $5

LIL BLOOD, KUTT E, SO VICIOUS; 8pm, $8-$13

8 BIT WEAPON, THE DEVILS TRAIN, THE DARKTIME SUNSHINE, RAFAEL VIGILANMOANS, SHOUJO KITTEN; 8pm, no cover TICS, BIG J BEATS; 8pm, $10

Acoustic open mic, 8pm M, no cover; Naughty Trivia, 8pm W, no cover

THE BOARDWALK

WITHOUT AN ANSWER, BLEED BY EXAM- MACK SPENCE, DEL TRICE, LEE LEE, Q BALL; 8pm, call for cover

DJ Benji the Hunter, 10pm, call for cover

MANIA!, 9pm W, no cover

101 Main St., Roseville; (916) 774-0505 1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 PLE, VISSIX, ANARCHY PEACE; 8pm

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

ZONGO JUNCTION, BOCA DO RIO; 8pm, $18-$22

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384

THE COZMIC CAFÉ

594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

JONNY MOJO, 8pm, $8

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

DIVE BAR

Deuling Pianos, 9pm, no cover

1022 K St., (916) 737-5999

FACES Hey local bands!

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

FOX & GOOSE

CHICKEN & DUMPLING, 8pm, no cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

DELTA CITY RAMBLERS, 9pm, $5

OL COTTON DREARY, 9pm, $5

G STREET WUNDERBAR HALFTIME BAR & GRILL

5681 Lonetree Blvd., Rocklin; (916) 626-6366

CHEESEBALLS, 9pm-midnight, $10

PLAYBACK, 9pm-midnight, $5

HARLOW’S

B-SIDE PLAYERS, RIOTMAKER; 8pm, $12-$15

JULIANNA ZACHARIOU, 7pm, $8; DLRN, LAKEISHA MONDY; 10:30pm, $8-$10

DJ Oasis, DJ Lahn, 10pm, $10

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR 1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

NATE BEIER, RHYME SYNDICATE, RKO; 8:30pm, $5

ORANGE MORNING, NOLAN, KHADIJAH; 8pm, call for cover

MARILYN’S ON K

PROXIMA PARADA, 9pm, $5

You Front The Band Live Karaoke, 9pm, call for cover

THE FORESOCKS, 9pm, call for cover

908 K St., (916) 446-4361

MIDTOWN BARFLY

Panik: deejay dancing w/ Angels of Kaos, Deejay dancing, 9pm, no cover before 9pm-2am, $5 10pm; $5 after 10pm

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN

GILLIAN UNDERWOOD, AMY OBENSKI, ALEX MILLS; 8:30pm, $5

1119 21st St., (916) 549-2779 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

1000 K Street, Sacramento, CA 95814

FOR TICKETS TO ALL SHOWS VISIT AssemblyMusicHall.com For Rentals or Private Parties please contact AssemblyMusicHall@gmail.com

UPCOMING SHOWS FRI AUG 1 @ 8PM

SAT AUG 2 @ 8PM

STOP LIGHT OBSERVATION, MOON MANTIS

TUES AUG 5 @ 6:30PM |

SN&R

|

07.31.14

WED AUG 6 @ 8PM

THURS AUG 7 @ 6:30PM

PHORA FRI AUG 8 @ 6:30PM DTR, MBL

PATRICK WALSH, 9pm, no cover

ROSS HAMMOND TRIO, 9pm, Tu, no cover; OLD SCREEN DOOR, 9pm, W

Dragalicious, 9pm, $5

Queer Idol, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5; DJ Alazzawi, 9pm W, $3 Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; Northern Soul, 8pm W, no cover

ONCE AN EMPIRE, STELLAR, ALEX VINCENT BAND; 8pm, call for cover

228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693

40

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 8/4-8/6 BALLYHOO!, 6:30pm Tu, $12; LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, 6:30pm W, $13

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

DISTRICT 30

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

SUNDAY 8/3

AUG 10

ISRAEL VIBRATION & THE ROOTS RADIC

AUG 11

HE IS LEGEND/ MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER

AUG 12

SIR SLY

AUG 14

INSPECTOR

AUG 16

THE SIREN SHOW

AUG 19

CHIMAIRA

AUG 22

MIC

AUG 23

SLAVES

AUG 30

MAC HERSCH

SEP 09

MOTHER FALCON

SEP 12

DIRT NASTY

SEP 13

JUSTIN FURSTENFELD OF BLUE OCTOBER

SEP 15

THE REAL MCKENZIES

SEP 20

THE SIREN SHOW

SEP 21

AMITY AFFLICTION

SEP 23

TRAPT

SEP 27

AARON CARTER

OCT 3

TWIZTID

OCT 04

ELUVEITIE

OCT 12

TURQUOISE JEEP

OCT 18

THE SIREN SHOW

OCT 26

BAM MAGERA AND F&CK FACE UNSTOPPABLE

Trivia night, 7:30-9pm Tu, no cover BAD SUNS, KIEV; 8pm, $10-$12

REAL ESTATE, 8pm M, $18-$20 Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M, $5-$20; Comedy night, 8pm W, $6

Marilyn’s Talent Showcase, 6pm, no cover

Electronic, house, nu-disco, techno, dub- Goth, darkwave, industrial, electronic step deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover deejay dancing, 9pm-3am, call for cover

Darling Clementines burlesque, 8pm M, $10; GREX, KEN KOENIG; 8pm W, $5 Swing dancing, 7:30pm Tu, $6; Salsa lessons w/ Nicole Lazo, 7:30pm W, $5 Jazz session, 8pm M, no cover

THURSDAY 7/31

FRIDAY 8/1

SATURDAY 8/2

ARG, M2, FRENCH TOAST SUNDAYS, ONE LOST MC; 9pm, $5

Lipstick Weekender, 9:30pm, $5

THEORY OF OUR KIND, A SHOT AT ZENITH, VITIATE; 9pm, $5

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

THE KERI CARR BAND, 8:30pm, $10

CHRIS SMITHER, 8pm, $25

THE PARK ULTRA LOUNGE

DJ Eddie Edul, 9pm-2am, $15

DJ Peeti V, 9pm-2am, $15

Asylum Downtown: Gothic, industrial, EBM dancing, 9pm, call for cover

PLAYBACK, 10pm, call for cover

ARDEN PARK ROOTS, 9pm, call for cover

MAXX CABELLO, 3pm, call for cover

Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5

Top 40 Night w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9pm, $5

Sunday Night Soul Party, 9pm, $5

ZORELLI, 9pm, no cover

ALEX JENKINS, 9pm, no cover

OLD IRONSIDES

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504

ON THE Y

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731 13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825 1116 15th St., (916) 442-7222

POWERHOUSE PUB

CHAD BUSHNELL, 10pm, call for cover

614 Sutter St., Folsom; (916) 355-8586

THE PRESS CLUB

2030 P St., (916) 444-7914

SHADY LADY SALOON

DAVID O’KEEFE, 9pm, no cover

CRESCENT KATZ, 9pm, no cover

SOL COLLECTIVE

PAUL WILLIS, 8pm, no cover

AJ RAFAEL, TIM ATLAS, MELVIN GUTIERREZ, BOOGIE MONSTARZ; 7:30pm, $12-$15

SOPHIA’S THAI KITCHEN

CONTRA, LA CERCA; 9pm, $5

1409 R St., (916) 231-9121

2574 21st St., (916) 832-0916 129 E St., Davis; (530) 758-4333 1517 21st St., (916) 706-0052 1320 Del Paso Blvd., (916) 927-6023

BUCK FORD PURE COUNTRY BAND; 8pm, $5-$7

SWABBIES

5871 Garden Hwy, (916) 920-8088

TORCH CLUB

X TRIO, 5pm, no cover; RED’S BLUES, 9pm, $6

904 15th St., (916) 443-2797

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 8/4-8/6 Karaoke w/ Sac City Entertainment, 9pm Tu, no cover; Open-mic, 9pm W, no cover

Open-mic comedy, 9pm, no cover

SNOW WHITE SMILE, FAIR STRUGGLE, ZEROCLIENT; 9pm, $10-$12

JOHNNY RAY, TRAVIS JEAN, ANDREW CASTRO, TRAVIS TAYLOR; 9pm

PRIMITIVE MAN, HEXIS, PLAGUE WIDOW; 9pm, call for cover

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover; $5 after 8pm

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover; $5 after 8pm

Country dance party, 8pm, no cover

ROCKSTAR PARKING, 6pm, $5

SET IN STONE, 4pm, $5

SPAZMATICS, 4pm, call for cover

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30-7:30pm, no cover; TRACORUM, 9pm, $8

KEVIN RUSSELL, 9pm, $8

Blues jam, 4pm, no cover; ROYAL JELLY, 8pm, $5

WITCH ROOM

AJ Rafael with Tim Atlas, Melvin Gutierrez and Boogie Monstarz 7:30pm Friday, $12-$15.

Sol Collective Pop and R&B

CALI PEPPERS, TWO PEACE, CALLING TEMPO; 8pm W, $5

DJ Crook, 9pm Tu, no cover; THE DELTAZ, 9pm, no cover

Comedy open-mic, 8pm M; Bluebird Lounge open-mic, 5pm Tu, no cover

LEW FRATIS, 8pm Tu, $5 ; Open-mic, 5:30pm W; KIM WILSON, 9pm W, $15

THE MANTLES, KNOCK KNOCK, CRUEL SUMMER; 8pm, $6

1815 19th St., www.witchroomsac.com

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

BARLEYWINE REVUE, 8:30pm W, call for cover

AAN, ODAWAS; 9:30pm, $5

STARLITE LOUNGE

STONEY INN/ROCKIN’ RODEO

SUNDAY 8/3

PRACTICE, GREX, THE LURK; 8pm Tu, $5

All ages, all the time ACE OF SPADES

JON PARDI, 7pm, $18

1417 R St., (916) 448-3300

BEATNIK STUDIOS 723 S St., (916) 400-4281

SHINE

RUBBIDY BUPPITY, MAC RUSS, MICHAEL TOBIAS; 8pm, $5

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

DESARIO, SALT WIZARD, DUPLX; 8pm, $5

BONEYARD RATTLERS, PEEKABLUE; 8pm, $5

Open jazz jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Friends, 8pm Tu; Open-mic, 7:30pm W

2708 J Street Sacramento, Ca 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com

Todd Snider &

Great American

Taxi

Thursday, aug 7Th Country CLub SaLoon

- July 31 -

Coming Soon

B side players

baCk 40 amphitheater 4007 tayLor rd.

LoomiS, Ca 530-906-7441

- August 3 -

Bad suns Kiev

riotmaker • 7pm • $12 adv

7pm • $10 adv

Billy Joe

Shaver w/ special guest

Branded

saTurday, aug 9Th Country CLub SaLoon

- August 1 -

Julianna Zachariou conner and Karlee (all ages) 6pm • $8

baCk 40 amphitheater 4007 tayLor rd.

LoomiS, Ca 530-906-7441

- August 4 -

real estate

7pm • $18 adv

- August 1 -

dlrn

- August 7 -

snarKy puppy 7pm $22.50 adv

laKeisha mondy 10pm • $8 adv

www.KEEPSMILINPROMOTIONS.COM BEFORE

Julianna Zachariou with Connor and Karlee 7pm Friday, $8.

Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub Indie-folk

GUERO, JAZZ GITAN, THE FOXTAILS, PROXY MOON, IDEATEAM; 6pm

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07.31.14

Catherine Russell Gumboot/The Westwards/I Am Strikes Mustache Harbor Race to the Bottom/Vanishing Affair Ottmar Liebert and Luna Negra Panmixia Built to Spill Purple Ones Close to You Future Islands Steelin’ Dan Mahtie Bush Eric Lindell Solsa Allan Holdsworth Sierra Leone Refugee All Stars Afrolicious Irishpalooza Sean Hayes Jack Gallagher Petty Theft Dave Alvin and Phil Alvin Tom Rush |

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5 GRAMS

$

4 GRAM 1/8THS STARTING AT $20 8 GRAM 1/4S STARTING AT $40 WIDE VARIETY OF CLONES 5 JOINTS FOR $20 14 NEW KINDS OF WAX

3600 Power Inn Rd Ste 1A | Sac, CA 95826 | 916.455.1931 42

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SN&R | 07.31.14

OPEN 10AM - 7PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

Addicted to pot?

I smoke pot every day. Am I addicted?

—Robert How would I know? How much pot do you smoke every day? More than a joint or two? How is your personal life? Are you relatively “successful”? Do you behave like a responsible adult?

“Addiction” is a strong word. Is the person who has a drink or two every day after work an addict? What about the person that can’t get out of bed until he or BEALUM she has coffee? People who jog every day?

by NGAIO I know I am answering your question with more questions, but the short answer is this: You have to answer that question for yourself. Ask your a s k420@ ne wsreview.c om friends that have known you since before you started smoking if they think you have changed for the better or for the worse. Go a day or’13two without smoking and see how you feel. You could try asking If you feel like you the Internet, but I don’t it will help. There are smoking too much, think are online tests for people you probably are. that wonder if they smoke too much marijuana. I took this one: www.chacha.com/ quiz/1215/do-you-smoke-too-much-pot. It told me I was a “light smoker.” Heh. So there’s that.

If you feel like you are smoking too much, you probably are. While marijuana isn’t physiologically addictive, it is possible to develop a psychological craving.

Good luck on your journey.

I would really like to give my state legislator a piece of my mind. How can I make this happen?

—Dank Capra I think you should. I think everyone should. In fact, you should go to Americans for Safe Access’ Citizen Lobby Day on Monday, August 4. If you register at www.safeaccessnow.org/ca_citizen_lobby_day_2014, the organization will set up an appointment for you to talk to one of your elected representatives. Please ask them to get their shit together.

This is important, so if you need to take the day off from work, do it. I will see you there.

Oregon is going to legalize marijuana?

Ngaio Bealum

is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert.

Email him questions at ask420@ newsreview.com.

—Jefferson Hell yes it is! The good people over at New Approach Oregon have managed to get a really good initiative on the 2014 ballot. This initiative would place the production and sale of marijuana under the auspices of the Oregon Liquor Control Commission and allow adults (21 and over) to grow up to four plants and possess up 16 ounces per household. Super nice. The money generated from taxes on cannabis would go to schools (40 percent); state and local police (35 percent); with the rest going to drug treatment, prevention and mental-health programs.

What’s not to like about that?

And while New Approach’s initiative has a good chance of winning at the polls, it’s not a done deal yet.

It will need help. Please send New Approach some money or help spread the word. Once Oregon legalizes, California will have to step up, and then the West Coast will reign supreme! Bwahahahahaha! Ω

Bring in any competitor’s coupon and we’ll beat it by $5 Must present competitor’s ad. Some restrictions apply.

VOted 3rd best ’13 420 physician in sac! ’13

’13

’13

’13

’13

Sacramento

420 Doc MEDiCAL MArijuAnA EvALuAtiOns

spring COMpAssiOn spECiAL

34 44

$

$

rEnEWALs

nEW pAtiEnts

Must bring ad. Limit one per patient.

Some restrictions apply.

Must bring ad. Limit one per patient.

Some restrictions apply.

916.480.9000 2 COnvEniEnt LOCAtiOns tO sErvE YOu

2100 Watt Ave, Unit 190 | Sacramento, CA 95825 | Mon–Sat 11am–7pm 2633 Telegraph Ave. 109 | Oakland, CA 94612 | 510-832-5000 | Mon–Sat 10am–5pm recommendations are valid for 1 year for qualifying patients Walk-ins Welcome all day everyday

Your information is 100% private and confidential Visit our website to book your appointment online 24/7 at

www.sac420Doc.com

B BEEFFOOR REE | | N NEEW WSS | | FFEEAAT TU UR REE SST TOOR RYY | | AAR RT TSS& &CCU ULLT TU UR REE | | AAFFT TEER R | |

07.31.14 07.31.14

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NOW OPEN

Northern California’s

LARGEST GARDEN SUPPLY, HYDROPONICS & HEADSHOP Everything you need all at one location!

SPECIAL DEAL

SPEND OVER $30 GET 1 300G WEIGHTMAX ($60 VALUE)

FREE

WEIGHTMAX - PLANT FOOD

DESIGNED FOR BUD HEAVY & TIGHT. WEIGHTMAX IS THE MOST COMPLETE FLOWER COMPACTANT THAT ADDS THE MOST WEIGHT AND OIL TO BUD.

DABS ON DEMAND!

HYDOPONIC 2 IN 1 AUTOMATIC LEAF TRIMMER ONLY $1,500

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE

text or leave message at: *NOT A GOV’T ID

916-572-5215 916-538-4216

MARIJUANA FREE MEDICAL PHOTO ID CARD *MEMBERS ONLY

FREE TRIPLE BLADE

CLEARANCE SALE

NURSERY POT 4” X 3.5’

$.05 EACH

FOR CASE PRICE OF 500PCS PER CASE. ITEMS ON CLEARANCE SALE: INSECTICIDE, FERTILIZER & MORE

25

$

ALL EVALS

STARTING AT $1.00

SUMMER SALES EVENT Sale Ends AUGUST 1st!!

NO OPE W THE N TO PUB LIC!

Come exp erien 25,000 sq ce over uare fe of shoppin et g!

12 PLANTS ONLY. OFFER EXPIRES 08/07/14

Growers Rec 33plnts $50 66plnts $100 99plnts $150 OFFER EXPIRES 08/07/14

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Loyalty Card to learn how to save up to 80%

KY Wholesale

AIR SILENCERS • BALLASTS • NUTRIENTS • REFLECTORS • TRIMMERS VENTILATION TUBING & PARTS • LIGHTING SYSTEMS • TOOLS • FILM & MORE 50

8671 ELDER CREEK RD., #600 SACRAMENTO, CA 95828 • 916-383–3366

99

47TH AVE

ELDER CREEK

FLORIN PERKINS POWER INN

1506 Sproule Ave Sacramento 95811

Bring in this ad and inquire about our KY

OVER

40

STRAINS! GELATO

· $5 & $10 Grams · $40 cap on concentrates · $45 Cap on top shelf 1/8th Tax Included · Great variety of clones & edibles

Free GRAM OR EDIBLE Free PRE-ROLL FOR ALL NEW PATIENTS WITH FIRST PURCHASE HWY 50

CONVENIENTLY LOCATED NEAR ALL FREEWAYS!

|

6TH ST

5TH ST

I-5

X ST

BEFORE

FOR EVERY PATIENT WITH PURCHASE

NEWS

BROADWAY

|

515 BROADWAY | SACRAMENTO, CA 415.935.8005 | OPEN MON THRU SAT 10AM-7PM

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S A C R A M E N T O ’ S O N LY

A L L - N AT U R A L M E D S $

One Minute from the Corner of S.Watt & Fruitridge Rd.

NY 5 OFF A ION DONAT 1/4 FOR A ES

4 GRAM 1/8S ON

D EXCLU TIER OMY ECON 6/14. ires 08/0

Exp

TOP 2 TIERS ONLY Expires 08/06/14

.

IC N A G R O % 100 S. Watt

Florin Perkins

Fruitridge

8848 Fruitridge Rd. Sacramento Open 7 days a week 9am-7p 916-381-3769

Text RHOUSE to 71441 to receive a coupon for a house warming gift!

Grand Opening New Patients

Safe Accessible Solutions

Open Daily Daily Open 10:00am -- 7:00pm 7:00pm 10:00am Accepting New Patients

High Quality ORGANICS 1/8th’s Starting at 25

Vote for Us!

ATM

Best MedicalCannabis Dispensary

Best Dispensary Selection

Best Dispensary Customer Service

/safeaccessiblesolutions

Receive a Preselected

Gram Safe Access Seniors & Veterans 10% OFF High Quality Cannabis Alpha Medicinals Pop Naturals Paper Planes Extracts Tetralabs O-Pens

8125 36th Ave. Sacramento, CA. 95824 | 916.386.9840 Compliant with California Prop 215, S.B. 420 & Attorney General Guidelines. Must have doctor’s recommendation and California ID. Must be 18+ to join.

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Vote for Us!

Best MedicalCannabis Dispensary

BEFORE

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AFTER

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free gram

FREE HALF 1/8 WHEN YOU BRING A FRIEND*

TH

with purchase of $35 or more

*free gram is house choice.

offer not valid with any other offers or discounts exp 08.31.14

vote for us!

Best customer serVice

top-shelf outdoor: $ 35 per 1/8th clones now available

2416 17th street 916.231.9934 | deltahealthwellness@gmail.com sacramento, ca 95818 | 9am-9pm daily

35

$

NEW PATIENT SPECIALS & GIFTS! 1404 28th Street | 916.469.9182 Corner of 28th & N, Midtown Sac Open 10am-9pm 7 days a week www.GreenSolutionsSac.com

*$50 min don. exp. 08/06/14

/greensolutions420 /greensolutionsmidtown

FREE 1/8 S A T U R D A Y

TOP SHELF 1/8THS

S P E C I A L

TH

WITH ANY $40 MIN DONATION

Cannot be combined with other offers. Strain determined by HHWC.

CLOSE TO FOLSOM, FAIR OAKS & ROSEVILLE

10 TOP SHELF GRAMS

$

SUNDAY SPECIAL: 4G 1/8THS (ONE PER PATIENT) 25 1/8THS SELECT STRAINS | $5 OFF ANY OF OUR WAX CONCENTRATES

$

TINCTURES, HASH, CAPSULES, KIEF, EDIBLES

NEW PATIENT GIFTS SHINGLE

SPRINGS’

HOTTEST

COLLECTI

VE

FREE ½ gram concentrate with any $40 min.don.

Select choice, one per patient, while supplies last. New patients only. exp. 8/6/14

Great selection of quality concentrates

OPEN MONDAY – FRIDAY 10AM TO 8PM SATURDAY 10AM TO 8PM • SUNDAY 10AM TO 6PM

50

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Arden Mall

Dr

4020 DUROCK RD, STE 1 • SHINGLE SPRINGS, CA • (916) 757–0980

1030 Joellis Way, Sac Arden Way

Joellis Way

nfe ld

BUY ANY 2 EDIBLES GET 1 (free of equal or lesser value) ALL $50 1/8THS CAPPED AT $40 BUY 3 TOP-SHELF FULL MELT FOR ONLY $90 ALL BUBBLE HASH IS ONLY $15 PER GRAM GET A FREE JOINT WITH ANY $10 MINIMUM DONATION 4 GRAM 1/8THS ALL DAY

me

MUNCHIE MONDAYS: TOP-SHELF TUESDAYS: WAXY WEDNESDAYS: HASHTAG THURSDAY: FREE J FRIDAY: SUNDAY FUNDAY:

GOLDEN HEALTH & WELLNESS

160

Blu

New patient specials!

80

916.646.6340

Monday–Saturday 10am–8pm Sunday 10am–6pm

BEFORE

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FREE gifts great offers find details at

ry ive l e d y onl

.com/medizin215

• Large selection of flowers • Grams starting at $5 • wide selection of shatter/wax

MEDIZiN 215

open 9am - 9pm mon - fri | 916.213.2855 | $40 min donation for free delivery

serving the greater sacramento area | must have valid ca id/ dr. reccomendation

CLONES

AVAILABLE

HERE!

IN A HURRY?

BUY A GRAM OF WAX OR SHATTER, GET A HALF GRAM OF WAX FREE *WH ILE SUPP LIES LAST.

Express Order!

ataexpressorder@gmail.com or 916-544-3394.

NEW HOURS: 9am–9pm everyday

*Doctor’s recommendation & CA I.D. required

52

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*MU ST BE SAM E TIER .

ASK ABOUT OUR MOBILE VIP CLUB.

JOIN & GET A FREE GIFT PLUS FUTURE VIP SPE CIAL S DIRE CT TO YOU R CEL L.

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St

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916.822.4717

EX PI RE S 8/ 6/ 14 .

$5 GRAM WHEN YOU DONATE FOR AN EIGHTH

FOR NEW PATIENTS SPECIALS & DEALS FOR EVERYONE!

FOR REVIEWS & OUR MENU, VISIT WWW.WEEDMAPS.com

3015 H Street Sacramento, CA

*WH ILE SUP PLIE S LAS T.

FREE PREROLL & EDIBLE WITH ANY $30 DONATIO N

FREE GIFT

Returning patients can now

Call, Text or Email in an

BUY AN EIGHTH, GET A GRAM OF SHAKE FREE

Fee D

r

Arden

I-80

Way

W

N S

E

1220 Blumenfeld Dr, Sacramento I 916.564.1100

OPEN Mon-Sat 10am to 9pm, Sun 10am to 6pm

SIMPLY THE BEST Winner 3 years in a row! ’13

’13

’13

Best Medical Marijuana clinic - Sacramento News and Review Readers’ Poll ’13

’13

’13

’13

WILL MATCH ANY LOCAL CLINIC PRICE WITH COPY OF THEIR AD THAT IS CA MEDICAL BOARD STANDARDS COMPLIANT GET APPROVED OR NO CHARGE! 24/7 Verifications! HIPAA Compliant 100% Doctor/Patient Confidentiality

DOWNTOWN SACRAMENTO

2015 Q Street, 95811 • (916) 476-6142 OPEN Monday through Saturday 11am to 6pm • CLOSED SUNDAY valid through 09/01/14

EL DORADO’S ORIGINAL COLLECTIVE

MMCA ES T. 2 0 0 4

SAFE & AFFORDABLE ACCESS

Potency testing Sat., July 12th with Greenstyle Consulting MEDICAL MARIJUANA CAREGIVERS ASSOCIATION OF EL DORADO COUNTY

ONLY AT CC101 HIGH TIMES CANNABIS CUP WINNER HIGHEST THC | HIGHEST CBD BEST FOR PTSD | CHRONIC PAIN | INSOMNIA

3031 ALHAMBRA, STE 102 • CAMERON PARK, CA

CC 101

530.677.5362 • Open: 12-7pm Mon-Fri • 10am-4pm Sat • 12-4pm Sun

Got Lupita?

6435 FLORIN PERKINS ROAD | SACRAMENTO, CA 916.387.6233

MON-SAT 10AM TO 9PM | SUN 11AM TO 8PM | www.cc101sac.com

BEFORE

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CANNABIS EXPERTS ✂

FREE GRAM when you bring a friend ($50 min donation)*

✂

TOP SHELF $ 10 GRAMS* WE PROUDLY OFFER:

VAPORIZERS TINCTURES SALVES

HONEY, BUTTER, SODA

Premium OG I

Ku

Indica

Kushy

9/10

Ps

Potency

Pinesol

Relaxing Appetite Stress

This classic OG phenotype relaxes the mind & body

T H C

Fruitridge

T S E B GRAM O R P S D R A PATIENT REW

20% off

any edible*

10% off

any concentrate*

RENEWALS

40 $50

$

W/ COUPON EXP. 08/06/14 SNR

/TWORIVERSSAC OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 9am – 9pm |

SN&R | 07.31.14

om Fols Bradshaw

/TWO_RIVERS

open 9:00am to 8:00pm 7 days a week

Photo ID Available for $15

W/ COUPON EXP. 08/06/14 SNR

TWO RIVERS WELLNESS

315 NORTH 10TH STREET SACRAMENTO 916.804.8975 TWORIVERSSAC.COM

6666 Fruitridge Road, Unit C Sacramento, CA 95820 916.476.4431 • www.916THC.com

Get Your Recommendation!

North Of Hwy 50 @ Bradshaw & Folsom Blvd

NEW PATIENT

*EXP. 08/06/14. CANNOT BE COMBINED W/ ANY OTHER OFFER.

54

*Can’t be combined with other offers. One coupon per person, per day. Expires 08/06/14.

Blvd

50

- Mon-Sat 10am-6pm Sun 11am-5pm - Physician Evaluations - 24/7 Online Verification - Walk-Ins / Appts - Cultivators Welcome Vote for Us! Best Medical-Cannabis Physician

Routier

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Buy 3 1/8ths get 1 FREE*

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VOTED

★

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CANN-MEDICAL

9719A Folsom Blvd. Sacramento, CA 916-822-5690 • www.cannmedical.org

SN&R

10 P A C RAMS G L L A N O

BEsT of SacrameNTO h

35 P COA N ALL

35 C A P ON ALL 1 /8 $

$

S

TRATE N E C N O C

THS

ABOVE ALL DISPENSARY

DELIVERY 9AM-11PM DAILY

on stands 9.11.14 fig.

10 C A P ON HASH $

$

FREE GRAM FOR NEW PATIENTS

WE TAKE YOUR MEDICINE SERIOUSLY we have

$20 OFF

3.a

Honey Sticks variety of flav

ors!

purchase of $100 or more.

Expires 08/31/14.

NO FEE FOR DELIVERY

fig. 1.b

*Minimum order $45

Roseville, Rocklin, Loomis, Folsom, N. Highlands, Citrus Heights, Orangevale, Carmichael, Fair Oaks, Rancho Cordova

fig. 2

.c

f

VOTED BEST EDIBLES!

WWW.ABOVEALLDISPENSARY.COM

BEFORE

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Kelton

(916) 342-4130

fig. 4.a

ABOVE ALL DISPENSARY

Northgate

PROFESSIONAL, DISCREET, SAFE

SAFE ACCESS 916-254-3287

Main Ave

A RT S & C U LT U R E

SAFE CAPITOL COMPASSION Norwood

.a ig. 1

|

135 Main Avenue • Sacramento CA, 95838 Open Mon thru Sat 10AM–7PM Now Open Sun 12-5 AFTER

|

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IN ADVERTISING ACT CLASSIFIEDS AT 8.

Your Downtown Service Shop

SMOG CHECK

OIL

$60

CHANGE

We offer complete automotive service & repairs

EMISSIONS DIAGNOSTIC $ News & Review d to provide valid 99 business license or somatic establishment $ 75 a current w/repairs at time of service. (reg 120)advertisement. most cars. ounty in which they are operating in in order to run a printed

31

26

(reg $49.75) most cars.

Call for details. Same day.

Fast In/Out

$

For renewal reg. only.

Call for details.

Call for details.

IN ADVERTISING WITH US, IFIEDS AT 916-498-1234 EXT. 1338.

Lube, Oil & Filter

$

916 554-6471 2000 16th St Sacramento M-F 7:30 -5:30 Sat 8 -4 sacsmog.com Bring in any competitor’s smog check coupon and we will match it - plus give you an additional $5 OFF

1598

Brake Special

$

$3 addition for multi-grade oil Good at Fulton location only Most vehicles savings of $7

Use your smart phone QR reader for more specials

1700 Fulton at Arden Way, Sacramento

3000 OFF Call for details Good at Fulton location only

481-1192 OPEN MON-SAT 8-6 • SUN 9-4

www.ardeneconolube.com

$10 OFF

MASSAGE THERAPISTS

BH SPA

Massage 3999

$

SWEDISH • DEEP TISSUE REFLEXOLOGY • SHOWERS STEAM ROOM • GIFT CERTIFICATES WALK-INS WELCOME

All massage advertisers are required to provide News & Review a current valid business license or somatic establishment permit issued by either the city or county in which they are operating in in order to run a printed advertisement.

for 1hr

Free

OPEN MON–SAT 10-9 • SUN 1-8

8075 GREENBACK LANE 916.726.0451

Table Shower

WWW.MASSAGEALWAYSPERFECT.COM

Always Perfect Massage

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING WITH US, PLEASE CONTACT CLASSIFIEDS AT 916-498-1234 EXT. 1338.

ANNA w e n MASSAGE

THE BEST MASSAGE YOU CAN GET

MASSAGE THERAPISTS

NEW STAFF!

5 OFF

$

staff!

Chinese Style Massage 7 days a week • 10 am to 9 pm

(916) 726–1166 7530 Auburn Blvd Ste D • Citrus Heights

GREEN JADE MASSAGE THERAPY

• Thai • 7 Days a Week 10am–10pm • Swedish All massage advertisers are required to provide News & Review a current valid • Sauna & Shower Available • Showers Available business license or somatic establishment permit issued by either the city or county • Free Chinese therapies in which they are operating in in order to run a printed advertisement.

• Walk-ins Welcome • Reflexology • Gift Certificates Available • Deep Tissue

Actual CMT Not a model

MASSAGE THERAPISTS the

BESgTe! massa

3210 Fulton Ave All massage advertisers are required to provide

916.487.8241 / oPen 9AM-10PM

News & Review a current valid business license or somatic issued by either 56 | establishment SN&R permit | 07.31.14 the city or county in which they are operating in in order to run a printed advertisement.

1355 Florin Rd, Ste.13 IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING WITH US, 916.395.7712 Sacramento, CA 95822 is a model PLEASE CONTACT CLASSIFIEDS ATThis916-498-1234 EXT. 1338.Sacramento 95823

Vibrational

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5 OFF

$

TanTric Massage

1 hour or more. Reg. $40/hour

❤

❤ Antelope

MASSAGE ❤ THERAPISTS 916.722.7777 9aM-9pM Daily

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): If a farmer

plants the same crop in the same field year after year, the earth’s nutrients get exhausted. For instance, lettuce sucks up a lot of nitrogen. It’s better to plant beans or peas in that location the next season, since they add nitrogen back into the soil.

Meanwhile, lettuce will do well in the field where the beans or peas grew last time.

This strategy is called crop rotation. I nominate it as your operative metaphor for the next 10 months, Aries. Your creative output will be abundant if you keep sowing each new “crop” in a fertile situation where it is most likely to thrive.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Maybe

your grandparents are dead, or maybe they’re still alive. Whatever the case may be, do you have a meaningful or interesting connection with them? Is there anything about their souls or destinies that inspires you as you face your own challenges? Or is your link with them based more on sentimentality and nostalgia? In the near future, I urge you to dig deeper in search of the power they might have to offer you. Proceed on the hypothesis that you have not yet deciphered some of the useful messages you can derive from how they lived their lives. Explore the possibility that their mysteries are relevant to yours.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The prolific

American author James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851) wrote 32 novels. In those pages, he crammed in almost 1,100 quotations from Shakespeare. What motivated such extreme homage? I suspect he regarded Shakespeare as a mentor and wanted to blend the Bard’s intelligence with his own. I invite you to do something similar, Gemini. What heroes have moved you the most? What teachers have stirred you the deepest? It’s a perfect time to pay tribute in a way that feels self-empowering. I suspect you will benefit from revivifying their influence on you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Was

there an actual poet named Homer who wrote the ancient Greek epics The Iliad and The Odyssey? Or was “Homer” a fictitious name given to several authors who created those two master works?

Whatever the case may be, we know that Homer plagiarized himself. The opening line of Book V in The Iliad is identical to the opening line of Book V in the Odyssey: “Now Dawn arose from her couch beside the lordly Tithonos, to bear light to the immortals and to mortal men.” So, should we be critical of Homer? Nah. Nor will I hold it against you if, in the coming days, you imitate some fine action or brilliant move you did in the past. It was great the first time. I’m sure it will be nearly as great this time, but in a different way.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Earth has

been around for almost 4.6 billion years.

But according to scientists who study the fossil records, fire didn’t make its first appearance on our planet until 470 million years ago. Only then were there enough land-based plants and oxygen to allow the possibility of fires arising naturally. Do the math and you will see that for 90 percent of the Earth’s history, fire was absent. In evolutionary terms, it’s a newcomer. As I study your astrological omens for the next 10 months, I foresee the arrival of an almost equally monumental addition to your life, Leo. You can’t imagine what it is yet, but by this time next year, you won’t fathom how you could have lived without it for so long.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the nights

to come, I expect you will dream of creatures like fiery monsters, robot warriors, extraterrestrial ghosts and zombie vampires. But here’s the weird twist: They will be your helpers and friends. They will protect you and fight on your behalf as you defeat your real enemies, who are smiling pretenders wearing white hats.

Dreams like this will prepare you well for events in your waking life, where you will get the chance to gain an advantage over fake nice guys who have hurt you or thwarted you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It’s fine if you

want to turn the volume all the way up on your charisma and socialize like a party animal. I won’t protest if you gleefully blend business and pleasure as you nurture your

BEFORE

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NEWS

bRezsny

web of human connections. But I hope you will also find time to commune with the earth and sky and rivers and winds.

Why? You are scheduled to take a big, fun spiritual test in the not-too-distant future. An excellent way to prepare for this rite of passage will be to deepen your relationship with Mother Nature.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are

hereby excused from doing household chores and busywork, Scorpio. Feel free to cancel boring appointments. Avoid tasks that are not sufficiently epic, majestic and fantastic to engage your heroic imagination. As I see it, this is your time to think really big. You have cosmic authorization to give your full intensity to exploring the amazing maze where the treasure is hidden. I urge you to pay attention to your dreams for clues. I encourage you to ignore all fears except the one that evokes your most brilliant courage. Abandon all trivial worries, you curious warrior, as you go in quest of your equivalent of the holy grail.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Broadway is one of New York City’s main streets. It runs the length of the island of Manhattan. But hundreds of years ago, it was known by the indigenous Lenape people as the Wickquasgeck Trail. It was a passageway that cut through stands of chestnut, poplar and pine trees.

Strawberries grew wild in fields along the route. Is there a metaphorical equivalent in your own life, Sagittarius? I think there is: a modest, natural path that you will ultimately build into a major thoroughfare buzzing with activity. Part of you will feel sad at the loss of innocence that results.

But mostly you’ll be proud of the visionary strength you will have summoned to create such an important conduit.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The

heavenly body known as (6178) 1986 DA is a near-Earth asteroid that’s 1.4 miles in diameter. It’s packed with 10,000 tons of gold and 100,000 tons of platinum, meaning it’s worth more than $5 trillion.

Can we humans get to it and mine its riches? Not yet. That project is beyond our current technology. But one day, I’m sure we will find a way. I’m thinking there’s a smaller-scale version of this scenario in your life, Capricorn. You know about or will soon find out about a source of wealth that’s beyond your grasp. But I’m betting that in the next 10 months you will figure out a way to tap into it and begin the process.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “‘I just

sort of drifted into it.’” According to author Gore Vidal, “That’s almost always the explanation for everything.” But I hope this won’t be true for you anytime soon, Aquarius. You can’t afford to be unconscious or lazy or careless about what you’re getting yourself into. You must formulate a clear, strong intention and stick to it. I don’t mean that you should be overly cautious or ultraskeptical. To make the correct decisions, all you have to do is be wide awake and stay in intimate touch with what’s best for you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Members

of the industrial band Skinny Puppy are upset with the U.S. military. They discovered that an interrogation team at America’s Guantanamo Bay detention camp tortured prisoners by playing their music at deafening volumes for extended periods. That’s why they sent an invoice to the U.S. Department of Defense for $666,000 and are threatening to sue.

Now would be a good time for you to take comparable action, Pisces. Are others distorting your creations or misrepresenting your meaning? Could your reputation benefit from repair? Is there anything you can do to correct people’s misunderstandings about who you are and what you stand for?

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785.

And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

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F E AT U R E

pHoTo BY FREdRiCk ARAndA

by ROb

For the week of July 31, 2014

STORY

The timetraveler’s costumer Life rarely follows a script. That’s what Carmichael resident Elizabeth Galindo learned. It was the ’80s when, fresh out of college, Galindo headed to Mexico City for a modeling gig, where she ended up hating the clothes she was supposed to wear. Inspired, Galindo started making her own clothes, which led to a chance to design red-carpet gowns for actors such as Cameron Diaz and Salma Hayek—which, in turn, led to the opportunity to work on movie sets. There, Galindo discovered a passion for costuming and history and later attended UC Davis where she earned a Ph.D. in historical craft construction. Now, as a costumer and historical researcher, Galindo’s work has helped develop characters in period films such as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Time Traveler’s Wife, The New World and There Will Be Blood. Galindo, who also has her own clothing line, chatted with SN&R about period-appropriate wool, go-go boots and Daniel Day-Lewis.

Why period films?

I find contemporary films to be rather difficult because everyone has an opinion. With historical films, you really have to do your research. Most of the time the actors don’t know the history. ...

So once I give them the book I made of information [about their character] and talk to them about it, they will understand it. If it’s a contemporary piece, however, the actors usually have a stylist they work with who worries about whether or not they look good.

How long does it take to research a film?

It takes a while. For The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it was 100 years’ worth of research, and it took me six months. A lot of people don’t realize the amount of effort that goes into making costumes. It’s often 18-hour days for months.

Geesh. What makes it take so long?

the Native American Patawomeck tribes looked like. There is no documentation of this, so it was hard. We wanted to be as authentic as possible to pay reverence to their culture and history. We collected seashells along the Potomac River to cut the hides for their clothes. They were all hand-sewn with sinew [deer guts]. The gentleman who made all of Pocahontas’ clothing for the film was actually a mathematician … who was taught leather-making skills from an ancestor of Pocahontas. It was pretty awesome.

What do you hope people get out of watching a film you’ve worked on?

Maybe through osmosis I can actually teach someone about that time period. …

I hope they feel like they have stepped back in time.

textiles were amazing. Once the war ended, France started revving up their textiles again. Designers were able to create fabrics that people hadn’t been able to see in a long time.

Fashion era that makes you cringe?

I think since I grew up in the ’60s, I don’t like that era very much. I guess I just think of [the song] “These Boots Are Made for Walking” and Nancy Sinatra and go-go [boots and] miniskirts. Even thought it was quite revolutionary, it wasn’t my favorite.

What’s up with your clothing line?

My latest collection [for Galindo Couture] sold out in a day, so I have to get started again. I am slowing down, though. Now I’m strictly doing botanical dying. I use actual leaves and steam them, and it imprints them onto the fabric. Then I make bias-cut dresses and other clothing. I’m part of a group called “slow fashion” [whose members are] thinking about how and where our materials are coming from.

Finding the right craftspeople who use techniques from that time period. [I’ll find and use] the sheep wool that was used during that time and actually have it shorn in that way, spun in that way, find a weaver who will weave it that way of that century, or I’ll seek out certain fabric.

Everything is done to the exact same way it would have been done at that time period.

The A-list actors all do, especially the method actors. When I worked on There Will Be Blood with Daniel Day-Lewis, he was in character 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

How far have you gone to make sure a film is accurate?

Time period you’d go back to if you had the chance?

Everything from the 1950s is coming back, especially for this fall season. Bias gowns that are tight-fitting and draped over the body will also be popular. Ω

Post-World War II to see the new look of Christian Dior. That’s when haute couture in Paris really blossomed. The

Learn more about Elizabeth Galindo at www.elizabethgalindo.com.

For The New World I worked with anthropologists, linguists [and] botanists so that we could recreate accurately what |

A RT S & C U LT U R E

Do actors like it when you teach them about the time period?

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AFTER

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