S 2014 03 20

Outlawing

‘gay panic’ see Capitol lowdown, page 12

California’s

rape-kit prOblem see news, page 9

Self-driving carS are coming see bites, page 13

Armed for

bAttle see arts&Culture, page 24

Sacramento’S newS & entertainment weekly

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Volume 25, iSSue 49

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3/17/14 3:30 PM

March 20, 2014 | vol. 25, issue 49

37

A little birdie told me You probably didn’t notice, but there’s a middle finger on the front cover.

A co-worker saw it this week before going print and mentioned something about how Yelp probably will be bummed. I don’t disagree.

But there’s more to it, I hope.

I know for a fact that a lot of us in SN&R’s editorial department use Yelp and its mobile app. I personally enjoyed time spent with Yelpers for this week’s cover story (see “The Yelp factor,” page 18). Community manager Alex Lane and Yelp Elite Squad user Michael Saucedo are assets to Sacramento. And nice dudes.

Perhaps the cover is, instead, a message from local businesses to Yelp. I’m convinced a majority of them can’t stand the tech giant.

Maybe it’s a Yelp user telling a business that screwed them out of their hard-earned money to buzz off.

Or is Yelp telling all of us to take a hike? If there’s one thing I learned from reporting this story, it’s that even though Sacramento’s smallbusiness owners despise Yelp, the company actually brings them a lot of business.

It’s also worth asking whether Yelp does that much harm. Consider my brother’s girlfriend. She’s a local hairstylist. Her Yelp reviews are predominately glowing. She, of course, has been on the receiving end of a few negative flamers. But Yelp has helped more than it has hurt, and she says that she’s busier than ever over at Alchemy Salon & Spa (ahem).

If your business is truly suffering from crummy Yelp reviews, then maybe Yelp is just accelerating the inevitable.

Confused? Eff it—just read this week’s issue.

05 07 09 12 18 24 27 29 33 35 36 38 45 55

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Client Publications Writer/Copy Editor Mike Blount Client Publications Staff Writer Meredith Graham Executive Coordinator Jessica Takehara Directors of First Impressions Alicia Brimhall, Matt Kjar Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Daniel Bowen, Russell Brown, Nina Castro, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, John Cunningham, Lob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Aaron Harvey, Wayne Hopkins, Brenda Hundley, Greg Meyers, Kenneth Powell, Wendell Powell, Lloyd Rongley, Duane Secco, Lolu Sholotan, Jack Thorne

Creative Director Priscilla Garcia Art Director Hayley Doshay Junior Art Director Brian Breneman Designers Serene Lusano, Marianne Mancina, Skyler Smith Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Steven Chea, Wes Davis, Ryan Donahue, Taras Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Shoka

Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Co-editors Rachel Leibrock, Nick Miller Staff Writers Janelle Bitker, Raheem F. Hosseini Copy Editor Shoka Shafiee Entertainment Editor Jonathan Mendick Editorial Coordinator Becca Costello Contributing Editor Cosmo Garvin Editor-at-large Melinda Welsh Contributors Ngaio Bealum, Daniel Barnes, Rob Brezsny, Cody Drabble, Joey Garcia, Blake Gillespie, Becky Grunewald, Mark Halverson, Jeff Hudson, Jim Lane, Greg Lucas, Garrett McCord,

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OPINION + bitES FEATuRE STORy ARTS&CuLTuRE NIgHT&DAy DISH ASK JOEy STAgE FILM MuSIC + SOund AdviCE THE 420 15 MINuTES

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LETTERS

COVER dEsign BY HaYLEY dOsHaY COVER pHOtO BY sEREnE LUsanO

—Nick Miller

BEFORE

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building a

HealtHy S a c r a m e n t o

Inspiring Sacramento youth

by M e r e d i t h J . G r a h a M

W

hen Brandon Woods was preparing to graduate from high school, one of his coaches approached him about a summer opportunity working with local teens. Woods took the recommendation and became an intern at People Reaching Out, a nonprofit that receives funding from the California Endowment and whose mission is to inspire young people.

The People Reaching Out program Woods joined is called Summer L.A.B. (LearningAchieving-Believing), which exposes sevenththrough 12th-graders to a community college environment. Activities range from science and technology to theater and literary arts. Others, like sports, encourage physical activity and healthy eating.

“One of the things we did was use sports to teach life lessons to kids,” Woods says. “I’m really passionate about sports, so I could easily relate.”

Woods’ first experience at Summer L.A.B. was two years ago. He says it had such a big impact on him that he returned last summer and plans on a third session in 2014. In addition to leading activities, Woods found himself reaching out to the kids, particularly the shy ones. He also found opportunities to be a mentor.

“This past summer, there was this one kid who grew up in the same neighborhood as I did. There are some troubling things in that

neighborhood,” Woods says. “He basically needed someone to be there for him, to let him know that these things are not OK and sometimes you need to walk away. He looked up to me as that person.”

“one of the things we did was use sports to teach life lessons to kids. i’m really passionate about sports, so i could easily relate.”

Brandon Woods

BuIldIng HEalTHy COmmunITIES engaged in local politics. Woods participated in the formation of a macro-business district in his neighborhood of Valley Hi. As a representative of People Reaching Out, he was able to offer suggestions for youth-oriented solutions. Other programs get kids and teens out to city council meetings and similar civic activities.

In all, Woods says he’s grateful for the opportunities he’s had, and the ones he’s able to offer younger people, through the organization.

“It’s cool because I know I’m making a difference,” he says. “That’s all through People Reaching Out.”

In 2010, The California Endowment launched a 10-year, $1 billion plan to improve the health of 14 challenged communities across the state. Over the 10 years, residents, community-based organizations and public institutions will work together to address the socioeconomic and environmental challenges contributing to the poor health of their communities.

Brandon Woods enjoys working with youth through People Reaching Out. Photo by Louise Mitchell

People Reaching Out has a long history of providing mentors for youth, and the majority of those mentors are peers — teens mentor elementary-aged kids — rather than adults.

At 20 years old, Woods is able to relate to the high schoolers and bridge a gap between youths and adults.

“I can relate to adults and students can relate to me, so why can’t students relate to adults?” he says. “There’s no reason they can’t. That’s where People Reaching Out comes in — it gives youth the opportunity to voice their opinions.”

In addition to the Summer L.A.B. and mentorship programs, People Reaching Out also inspires youth to become involved in social change in their communities and to get

your ZiP code shouldn’t predict how long you’ll live – but it does. Staying healthy requires much more than doctors and diets. Every day, our surroundings and activities affect how long – and how well – we’ll live.

Health Happens in neighborhoods. Health Happens in Schools.

Health Happens with Prevention.

paid with a grant from the california endowment 4

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SN&R | 03.20.14

www.SacBHC.org

“Once you get to know somebody, it is really hard to judge them.”

Asked at the farmers market at Country Club Plaza:

Who do you judge?

Danielle Best

Jennie Garcia

Aliza Grant

farmers market manager

unemployed

Unconsciously, I judge everyone all the time, and consciously, I try to judge no one, ever. That doesn’t always work out. I feel like once you get to know somebody, it is really hard to judge them. Sometimes I feel justified in judging people if they expect more from others than they do [from] themselves.

farmers market vendor

The one thing that gets me the most is seeing people with their children and when I am walking by, or someone of my color [walks by], they grab their child away. I judge them feeling the need to hold their child closer to them.

I represent some kind of threat to them.

A car cuts in front of you.

I think, “Why couldn’t you just wait for me to pass?”

Or I hear a screaming child in a restaurant and [think], “Why can’t that parent take that child out until they calm down?” Who are we to judge? People handle things differently.

Greg Wilson

Debaki Adhikari

director of finance

Athena Galvez

student

I am judging people at work all the time, the quality of work … giving feedback. I think judgment is extremely important, because it is how we tell each other what we expect and what the social norms are. I am very hard on myself. I judge people’s words most often. Truth is extremely important to me.

student

I don’t judge people specifically. I do judge the things around me. I came to the U.S. six years ago. When something is new to me, I would like to know more about it: new foods, clothes and even the culture, like at a religious place. I do feel like sometimes I am being judged, but I don’t care.

I don’t judge.

As I started researching policies of different political parties, I at first liked the idea of “Obamacare.” But now, I don’t feel that way.

I feel like it shouldn’t be forced upon every individual. At times, I do judge [President Barack Obama] on health care. He can afford everything. Some people can’t afford it.

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Re “Hip-hop hiccup� (SN&R Editorial, March 13): This article means a lot for me personally. It seems that this feeling has been in the air for years, that the Sacramento scene is focused mainly on pushing artists who either are in a rock band, or are acoustic or folk singers, or real good friends with the bookers and promoters around town.

I understand that certain hip-hop artists have given the culture a bad name due to bad language and bad behavior at shows. I have lived in the Sacramento area since 2009 and have submitted to play for certain events and contacted certain talent buyers to play at certain venues, and I have a feeling that because of the rapping in my group’s music, it has held us back from being welcome to different events and venues out here. It letter of seems like every other market accepts hip-hop, but here the week in our own hometown we can’t get a break.

I’m glad SN&R is bringing the focus to hip-hop. Hopefully this market will start recognizing it more. There are some really talented artists out here that are getting pushed to the back.

Shaad King

Sa c ra m e nt o

Re “Safe Ground breaks through?� by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R News, March 13): The dedicated folks with Safe Ground Sacramento have been at it for years. Despite his lip service, Mayor Kevin Johnson has failed to produce hoped-for results in terms of the legalization and protection of safe grounds for homeless encampments.

It is no secret that Sacramento, for its being the state capital and all, has failed to significantly help the homeless within its domain. The Safe Ground homeless camp as described in the story would be a great help, though it too is a drop in the bucket.

Peter S. LĂłpez Sacramento

Safe Ground questions Re “Safe Ground breaks through?� by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R News, March 13): I find it odd that homeless would only be allowed to stay a year, and that Safe Ground [executive director] Steve Watters thinks they would only need six months.

These cottages could house up to 100 individuals at a time? I think there are more homeless in Freeman Park in Woodland than that. OK, maybe not, but I don’t see how you’re going to pick and choose who in Sacramento actually gets in.

It’s the single male that is royally screwed. If you enjoy someone laughing in your face, attempt to get assistance as a single male. Been there, done that. Anyone who thinks it’s easy doesn’t understand the amount of bullshit requirements involved.

I hope this housing gets built. It’s sad that apartment complexes with tons of vacancies are not willing to house any homeless. Or are any of BEFORE

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NEWS

SN&R misses Ukraine nuances Re “Diplomacy in Ukraine� (SN&R Editorial, March 13): Your editorial, admirable in advocating for diplomacy, is missing the nuances of the situation in Ukraine.

The United States has little to no leverage over Russia. For international sanctions to be effective, the European Union, specifically Germany, must take the lead on this issue due to their financial leverage over Russia.

Chancellor Angela Merkel can speak softly for us, and NATO can be her big stick.

Christopher Hagel returned Peace Corps volunteer in Ukraine

Nerds the new Kings Re “Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!� by Janelle Bitker (SN&R Arts&Culture, March 6): I attended the Wizard World Sacramento Comic Con last weekend and had a blast. I heard that it made over $2 million in three days, catching the event organizers by surprise and causing them to rent the entire convention center for next year’s return. Can it be? A successful and profitable event in downtown Sacramento attended by tens of thousands of people that didn’t require a basketball arena? Say it isn’t so! Omigod, someone get Mayor Kevin Johnson on the phone and tell him it’s actually possible in our fair city!

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PA i D A DV E RT i SE M E N T

The Medicinal Benefits of Cannabis Sacramento dispenseries help patients find the right plant to treat illness

A

mong the misconceptions of cannabis, many people think of it as a singular substance. They associate marijuana with THC, known for its psychoactive effects —and, in doing so, assume all buds are created equal.

Fact is, THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) is among 50 constituents known as cannabinoids. Cannabis contains other active molecules, too, called terpenes. Each compound has its own properties. So, depending on the plants’ chemical composition, varieties really do vary.

“The reason why each type of cannabis is so different, and the reason why cannabis in general helps so many different illnesses and disorders, is because of the different ratios of the cannabinoids and terpenes in each strain,” explained Kimberly Cargile, board member of the Sacramento collective A Therapeutic Alternative. “Cannabis is not a one-type-fits-all kind of medicine.”

Each cannabinoid offers different relief. For instance, Cargile said, CBD (cannabidiol) reduces nerve inflammation, suppresses seizures, muscle spasms and migraines. CBN (cannabinol) is a sedative, providing great relief for insomnia. THCA (tetrahydrocannabinolic acid) — the naturally occurring form of THC, which only turns psychoactive when heated above 215 degrees Fahrenheit — works as a pain reliever, mood elevator and mood regulator.

“One reason why collectives are so important is so a patient can go and get the right kind of cannabis.”

a different strain with 10 percent CBN, 2 percent THC and 4 percent CBD, that would help someone sleep.”

At any given time, A Therapeutic Alternative may have 25 strains of cannabis, if not more.

–Kimberly Cargile, board member, A Therapeutic Alternative Other cannabinoids include CBC (cannabichromene), CBDA (cannabidiolic acid), CBG (cannabigerol) and THCV (tertahydrocannabivarin).

Terpines, meanwhile, are molecules that are smaller than cannabinoids and similar to aromatic compounds in lavender and citrus. Scientists are studying terpines in the way they’re studying cannabinoids to identify their particular effects.

“Now we’re starting to put scientific evidence behind what patients have already been telling us,” Cargile said.

Selective breeding gives rise to new strains each year. As the plants change, so do their chemical combinations. Laboratories play a big role in classifying them.

“One reason why collectives are so important is so a patient can go and get the right kind of cannabis,” Cargile said. “You need to have a specific type for your illness or disorder. Patients deserve a safe place, similar to a pharmacy, to access their medicine, with educated and knowledgeable staff, and lab-tested cannabis with a variety of strains so they can find one that fits their individual needs.”

For more information on cannabis, visit ProjectCBD.org and CaNORML.org.

Collectives such as A Therapeutic Alternative send out each new variety for lab testing, not only to ensure purity but also to determine the precise concentration of each compound.

COlleCTives Caring fOr The COMMuniTy. Almost 4k lbs of food donated by patients and dispensaries during the Winter 2013 Campaign.

Donations benefitted River City Food Bank. for more info: www.Collective-giving.com

“For instance,” Cargile said, “one strain will have 10 percent CBD, 20 percent THC and 2 percent CBN, and that would help someone more with anxiety — whereas if you get

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Rape victims in waiting

11

On ‘gay panic’ excuses

Huge backlog of untested kits, low arrest rates may change state law Drugged and sexually assaulted the night before, Sabrina came to in an empty parking lot by one morning in 2007. Slumped in a planter Cody Drabble box, she was naked from the waist down and didn’t yet know about the three broken bones in her face.

The last thing Sabrina remembered was being at a downtown Sacramento nightclub with her best friend. Then her world went hazy, and she woke up in a neighborhood 5 miles away, just off of a southbound Interstate 5 exit.

“I still to this day have not had any flashbacks or memories of what happened,” recalled Sabrina, who asked that her last name be withheld. “When my mom got to the hospital, my first words to her were, ‘I’m sorry.’ I felt like it was my fault. Now I know it’s not.”

The then-Sacramento State University junior subjected herself to an intensive, seven-hour forensic medical examination, providing anything that might have her attacker’s DNA on it. She thought the exam would be used to bring her rapist to justice.

However, most sexual-assault survivors would be wrong about that.

There were 150 unprocessed rape kits in Sacramento County last year.

Advocacy groups put the number of untested rape kits gathering dust in the United States somewhere around 400,000. But that’s just a guess. There could be much more, or far less; exact figures are almost impossible to establish because there is no uniform standard for processing this evidence.

Take Sacramento County. The district attorney’s office doesn’t consider its untested kits backlogged unless the agency has requested analysis. Even so, there were 223 unprocessed ones going back to 2012.

In 2011, the department tested all 222 kits it received. The department doesn’t yet know how many rape kits collected prior to 2011 haven’t been tested.

But Sacramento County fares better than most. That’s because the DA’s office has a lab to test sexual-assault evidence in-house, whereas many other California counties book kits into evidence lockers and then decide whether to send them to the California Department of Justice for processing.

“We know where our kits are,” said Jill Spriggs, director of the DA’s Laboratory of Forensic Services.

BEFORE

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NEWS

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Sexual-assault victims submit to hours-long forensic analysis—but then many of these rape kits go untested. In Sacramento, the district attorney’s office doesn’t know how many kits collected prior to 2011 have not been tested.

Spriggs expected to clear the past two years’ worth of untested kits by May. After that, she said her lab would assess the untested kits prior to 2011.

Each law-enforcement agency exercises its own discretion when it comes to ordering tests of rape kits. The reasoning is that in most sexual-assault cases, the victim knows the attacker. Which means that cops and prosecutors already know who they’re after and don’t need the results of a kit to tell them.

In other cases, tests are back-burnered if victims aren’t willing to participate in the prosecution.

Testing kits are also expensive and time Obama’s $3.9 trillion budget proposal to consuming, say lab officials.

Congress for 2015 intends $35 million in Bruce Houlihan is the president of the grants to local communities to investigate California Association of Crime Laboratory and prosecute sexual assaults.

Directors. According to him, it takes at Skinner believes her bill might even least two weeks to process one kit, and raise the state’s basement-level arrest rates that’s if no other major felony cases jump when it comes to sexual assaults. When to the front of the line. Asking crime labs to New York addressed its backlog of 17,000 process the backlog on top of their current untested kits, sexual-assault arrests climbed caseloads is unrealistic, he said. “It’s not from 40 percent to 70 percent, compared to just a difficulty. It’s truly practically imposjust 24 percent nationally. sible,” he added.

While Skinner’s bill doesn’t require an In 2009, the California Crime inventory, Senate Majority Leader Ellen Laboratory Review Task Force estimated M. Corbett last week said a long-overdue that an additional 282 analysts would need audit of the state’s backlog will go forward. to be hired to eliminate the state’s backlog. “[W]hen previously untested rape kits are California is home to a significant chunk analyzed, sexual crime assailants are oftenThere were 150 of this jigsaw puzzle. Law-enforcement offi- times identified due to the DNA evidence unprocessed rape kits cials in Los Angeles County estimate 12,500 that is found in those rape kits,” she said. untested kits. Following an audit, Alameda Sabrina was one of the lucky ones, at in Sacramento County County District Attorney Nancy O’Malley least initially. Her kit was submitted for last year. discovered a backlog of about 1,900. processing. Two years later, in 2009, her In October 2011, Gov. Jerry Brown phone rang.

The problem with this case-by-case vetoed a law that might have helped.

The CODIS database recorded a DNA approach, however, is that it doesn’t The amended bill would have created a match between a fresh arrest and evidence account for the serial rapists who might 30-month pilot program that processed from her attack. Sabrina took the man to be discovered if every sexual-assault kit all kits in the 10 counties with the lowest trial in 2011, but still couldn’t remember was processed and entered into the FBI sexual-assault arrests. Brown killed it, the worst night of her life. “It was his word database. citing budget constraints. against mine,” she said.

That’s what Sandra Henriquez, execuIn 2009, then-Gov. Arnold The jury found the man not guilty of tive director of the California Coalition Schwarzenegger vetoed two similar bills for forcible rape, and issued no verdict on the Against Sexual Assault, thinks. “When similar reasons. charge of rape by intoxication. the victims undergo the exam, they’re Assemblywoman Nancy Skinner hopes Despite the anguishing results, Sabrina always under the impression that they’re her bill will finally break the logjam. The rebuilt her life. “I just try to focus on what doing that so this can be forwarded [to the East Bay Democrat authored Assembly Bill I have control over, bringing awareness and FBI],” she said.

1517, which would set a timeline for testing education to my community,” she said.

But unless a kit is believed to yield kits and streamline the process by which Now 29, she’s an advocate and educator some probative evidence in a specific attackers’ genetic evidence is entered into on the topic of sexual assault. She works case, it’s either not tested at all or shelved the FBI’s Combined DNA Index System, with kids as she always planned, but instead until “time and resources permit,” said or CODIS. of day care, she’s educating them about Sacramento County DA spokeswoman There could be federal money available consent and empowerment. Ω Shelly Orio. to put toward the cause. President Barack F E A T U R E S T O R Y | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R | 03.20.14 | SN&R | 9

by SN&R staff

SCORE KEEPER Sacramento’s winners and losers—with arbitrary points

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Dress the part New rules for local taxicab  drivers are making the rounds  at City Hall. But one of the  requirements just doesn’t look  right: A proposed dress code for cab drivers. “Dress code  will consist of collared shirts,  long or short dress slacks,  and closed toe shoes,� reads  the proposed new ordinance.  SN&R’s looking into this,   but Scorekeeper is in full-on  SMH mode.

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Five Decades of Abstract Expressionism from California Collections O N V I E W T H RO U G H A PR I L 20, 2014

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Apropos of nothing, the county of  Sacramento issued a news release  last week championing its ongoing  campaign against homelessness. The  timing of the release, titled “Assisting  the Homeless,� is suspect—and not  just because it doesn’t contain any  news. Over the next few weeks, county  officials will decide how much money  to make available to Sacramento Steps  Forward and conduct a workshop on  the county’s social safety net. Which  may be why they’re trying to paint  lipstick on a pig of a problem.

Fistful of quarters

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Rejoice, parking-meter watchers. The Sacramento City Council was poised  Tuesday to double the amount of time people can park on blocks of J Street and  Fourth Avenue. Specifically, J Street between 21st and 22nd streets, and Fourth  Avenue from 35th and 36th streets, would now allow two-hour parking stints  instead of maxing out at 60 minutes—hardly enough time to wolf down tapas and  outrace parking enforcement.

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Semipro, whoa

Park in a parking spot

Sacramento’s new   pro-soccer team Republic FC  played a match against   UC Davis this past  weekend—and lost. We  know it was just a friendly  game, but should a semipro  squad really be losing to a  college team?

Kudos to the city, which was poised to  approve a two-year pilot program for  parklets this week. Parklets are outdoor  patios for cafes and businesses that  extend into street-parking spots. The  application process for parklets is  complicated, but not insurmountable.  Fees will set you businesses back about  $2,000 the first year. Good luck.

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Death of fair housing

BEATS

Lack of regional support starves 51-year-old commission In the end, they’ll say it went out with a whimper and a gavel bang.

After sucking life support for by the past four months, last week, Raheem F. Hosseini Sacramento County supervisors pulled the plug on the financially strapped r a heemh@ Regional Human Rights/Fair Housing newsreview.c om Commission, founded in 1963 to resolve disputes between landlords and tenants facing eviction and other housing crises.

March 11’s action was the result of a bloodletting that started well before, however.

But there is still work to be done on the fair-housing front.

As part of the controlled dissolution, the work of defending renters from discrimination and unfair billing practices will soon scatter to an array of organizations, from the federal level down to community groups.

Chris Pahule, the county’s senior economic-development specialist, indicated an unknown number of providers will be selected through a government contract process to augment any remaining services that

PHOTO BY LOVELLE HARRIS

But all that cross-regional strife now yields to an uncertain future.

Supervisors stressed the word “seamless” in directing staff to make sure residents know who to contact with their housing and discrimination complaints. “That has to be the main focus moving forward, that someone who needs help isn’t left with no ability to otherwise take advantage of what used to be a great resource,” said Supervisor Phil Serna.

For some, the commission’s demise posed both challenges and opportunities.

Sacramento Housing Alliance executive director Darryl Rutherford described a tendency by the group in recent years to favor landlords over tenant rights. “I think what we do definitely need is a little bit more regulation,” he said.

He also offered his aid in organizing tenants so they can better represent themselves.

Jim Lofgren, executive director of the Rental Housing Association, which represents Sacramento Valley rental owners and property managers, advised creating an oversight body to collect information about how people access services and where they end up. “I think one of the things we’re trying to come to grips with is the data,” he said, citing duplication of services as one concern.

And then there’s the “human rights” role the commission pursued Betty Gwiazdon is Fair Housing used to perform. Those through its nonprofit arm, which The commission spent the past 33 interim director years as a “joint powers authority,” contracts are estimated to be worth investigated fair housing complaints, of the soon-to-be $120,000-$150,000, and will likely tested rental properties and performed governed by a board that included the defunct Regional be overseen by SHRA, Pahule and annual fair-housing audits. Advisory Human Rights/Fair cities of Sacramento, Citrus Heights, county executive Brad Hudson said.

Chairwoman Dana Mitchell said the Housing Commission. Elk Grove and Rancho Cordova, as Without the well as the county of Sacramento.

Likely candidates include the county hadn’t yet outlined how it organization, people Pacific McGeorge Housing Mediation would address filling those gaps.

But because of budget constraints and worry less well-off Center and Legal Services of Northern “There needs to be a voice for Sacramentans will be claims that Fair Housing didn’t serve California, which already mediate the voiceless,” she said. “And sadly, taken advantage of its residents, the cities stopped paying and won’t have into the commission, resulting in an certain kinds of landlord-tenant I think when the commission goes a voice. 86 percent dive in noncourt operations disputes in the city of Sacramento. away, that’s one of the things we’re SHRA officials justified withdrawing going to lose.” and leaving nearly $2.7 million in Supervisors directed staff to come outstanding liabilities, a county execu- funding from the commission by saying McGeorge and Legal Services back with options. The commission tive staff report states. could do the job more effectively. will still live on as a legal entity, and The biggest financial blow was But Betty Gwiazdon, Fair supervisors expressed their desire to struck by the Sacramento Housing Housing’s interim director, told revisit the idea of a regional body to and Redevelopment Agency, SN&R her group was still helping city address fair-housing concerns. which pulled its financial support residents who didn’t qualify for both That might be when, Mitchell in June 2013. organizations’ restricted income levels. suggested, the county revives the “It left this county sort of by Between July 2013 and early subject of human rights. “As much ourselves,” said board Chairman December 2013, Fair Housing served as I would like to think that we Jimmie Yee. 588 Sacramento city residents, succeeded ourselves out of a job, By the end, only Sacramento Gwiazdon said. This was after the city which is the happy spin, things happen County was an active participant. pulled its funding. During the month like the anti-gay laws get passed, or Unable to prop up the commission of February, the commission fielded there’s violence and racial strife, and any longer, the board of supervisors calls from hundreds of people living in we’re reminded that the human-rights agreed to phase it out by June 30, the the former partner cities. side of it is still necessary,” she said.Ω end of the fiscal year.

B E F O R E | N E W S | F E A T U R E S T O R Y | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R

Sunshine weak?

Five days before a national call to government transparency known as Sunshine Week, Sacramento residents accused their elected representatives of shadowy dealings.

The idea to limit the public’s access to proposed city contracts of $1 million or more from 10 days to two was all a huge misunderstanding, backpedaling city officials assured on March 11. City Clerk Shirley Concolino said her office was simply trying to erase confusion that came from posting documents online multiple times, occasionally drawing residents to discuss items that wouldn’t be heard for another week. “This is a process issue,” she said, “and causing some confusion.”

Even though Concolino retracted the proposal at the outset of the hearing, that didn’t stop attendees from blasting a City Hall that’s soon to decide on whether to plunge $258 million worth of public money into a new sports arena.

“The idea … that the sunshine rule would be gutted just three weeks before the largest single transaction of this kind or any other by this city … was a stunner,” said Craig Powell, president of Eye on Sacramento, a taxpayer watchdog group that spread word about the item on Twitter a day earlier.

Powell added that he was pleased with Concolino’s recommendation to “put this in the box it came from,” but others remained critical.

“Like 10 days is really going to change the backdoor deal that’s been made with the Kings for taxpayer money and city assets,” scoffed Julie Mumma, an adjunct professor with Sacramento State University. “No secret deal? Right.”

Council members were quick to say they didn’t support limiting the public’s access to multimillion-dollar contracts, including Councilman Jay Schenirer, who last year proposed the sunshine policy. “I have complete confidence in the city clerk to figure this out,” he said.

In response to Powell’s offer to help with any technical issues, Schenirer grinned. “Eh, we’ll see,” he said.

But that wasn’t the only notable change to come out of this discussion on the council’s procedural rules. Following a motion by Councilwoman Angelique Ashby, the council agreed to move public comment on nonagenda matters back to the end of meetings, just before council updates. Ashby said she wanted to prioritize hearing from those with input on items the council was to vote on. “I think that is more transparent,” she said.

Taking the opposite view was Councilman Kevin McCarty, who invoked the absent Mayor Kevin Johnson in making his case. “When the mayor got elected, this was one of his priorities, to put public comment at the beginning of council meetings,” he said. “I just want to know, does he have an opinion one way or another on this change?”

“He’s not here, so—” said Councilman Steve Hansen.

And with that, the council voted to adopt the revision.

(Raheem F. Hosseini)

Graveyard dues If Bellview Cemetery near Sacramento County’s Rosemont neighborhood looks nicer than normal, it’s because of juvenile delinquency.

During five consecutive weekends spanning from December 2013 to this January, the Sacramento County Probation Department supervised a juvenile work team at the southeastern county graveyard. The team consisted of delinquent children assigned to community service for their infractions. A news release states the youthful offenders yanked weeds, dislodged old tree stumps, pruned bushes and spread more than 100 cubic yards of river rock during the restoration project, which was organized by the Cemetery Advisory Committee.

Each participant reportedly got $40 a day for their labor, but don’t get too excited. That money went back into a restitution fund to pay off any victims of their actions. (RFH)

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Homophobic hooey A bill is introduced to stop using gay victims’ sexual orientation or gender as cause for violence A heterosexual person is so outraged by a come-on from a homosexual person, or so shocked by the discovery a person is homosexual, that they stab, strangle or shoot them. Usually fatally.

Because this violence is caused by temporary irrationality, there’s no malice aforethought, and the death penalty can’t be applied. Or the violence is merely self-defense, necessary CAS to ward off the sexual advance.

by GREG LU That’s the basics of the “gay panic” legal defense.

It seems archaic that caplowdown@newsreview.com violence, fatal or otherwise, is mitigated because the victim is somehow “asking for it” by making an unwanted proposition or simply by being sexually oriented in a way the perpetrator doesn’t dig. A popular view seems to be that the ability to legally hide behind such homophobic hooey perpetuates negative stereotypes about homosexuals and is antithetical to society’s stated zero-tolerance for intolerance.

Assemblywoman Susan Bonilla wants to halt the use of gay and trans panic defenses.

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Greg Lucas’ state-politics column Capitol Lowdown will appear every-other week in SN&R. He also blogs at www.californias capitol.com.

“The suggestion that criminal conduct is mitigated by bias or prejudice is inappropriate,” said Attorney General Kamala Harris in 2006 when she was San Francisco’s district attorney. “We can’t outlaw it, but we can combat it.”

But how?

Gay panic isn’t a new notion.

Psychiatrist Edward J. Kempf appears to have coined the phrase “homosexual panic” in 1920. Criminal-defense lawyers began employing “gay panic” with defendants charged with murdering male victims back in the 1960s. The “trans panic” defense is a newer wrinkle, but the idea is similar: A victim’s “deceit” over their “true” gender allegedly sparks the violence.

Back in 2005, the American Bar Association urged legislation to “curtail the availability and the effectiveness of the use of ‘gay panic’” defenses. California happily obliged, passing the 2006 Gwen Araujo Justice for Victims Act, named for a 17-yearold Newark, Calif., girl strangled and beaten to death in 2002 by men who had sex with her before discovering she was biologically male.

Araujo’s law allows a judge to tell jurors that their biases, including those regarding sexual orientation or gender identity, aren’t supposed to affect their deliberations, which seems implicit in the juror job description. Jurors found the two men primarily responsible for killing Araujo guilty of second-degree murder, a sentence of 15 years to life.

The other man got a reduced sentence for cooperating with police and being less involved in the crime.

Assemblywoman Susan Bonilla, a Concord Democrat, wants to halt the use of gay and trans panic defenses.

Bonilla’s bill, introduced last month, deals with voluntary manslaughter, punishable by a state-prison sentence of three, six or 11 years.

To prove voluntary manslaughter, the killing of another human must be the result of a “sudden quarrel” or the “heat of passion.” Bonilla’s bill says a defendant can’t claim the quarrel or passion stems from rage over the victim’s disability, gender, nationality, race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or gender identity.

(Apparently, “age rage” is still permissible.)

By any measure, Bonilla’s list is a lot broader than simply halting gay or trans panic defenses. Even the most tepid First Amendment fan would admit Bonilla’s bill puts a pretty tight exculpatory straitjacket on a criminal defendant—innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt by a jury of their peers who are supposed to weigh the facts without prejudice.

And if there is prejudice, seems better to discuss it in open court than have it corrode the proceedings beneath the surface. In the Matthew Shepard murder case in 1999, defense lawyers were told they couldn’t present a gay-rage defense, so instead, they put two witnesses on the stand that said Shepard came on to them, and it made them uncomfortable.

Same dif.

Not to go all Frank Capra Civics 101, but a jury of 12 individuals, shaped through preemptory challenges and challenges for cause by lawyers on both sides, is without question a far superior determiner of credibility than the Legislature, with its one-size-fits-all “solutions” that can never take into account all factual possibilities. That’s why there are juries. Ω

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Last week, there was a little cycle of national and local news stories about the resurgence in public transit in America. Ridership hit 10.7 billion last year, the highest since 1956, according to a report from the American Public Transit Association.

Buried or missing in most of the news coverage was the fact that the overall share of transit, as a portion of all trips, ARViN has declined for 50 years. Public transit

by Cosmo G accounts for 5 percent of commute cosmog@ newsrev iew.c om trips in America today. In 1960, it was 12 percent. In Sacramento County the number is about 3.1 percent, same as it was 10 years ago.

Bites has always been a transit fan and long believed we should reduce car trips and “vehicle miles traveled.” But last century’s mass-transit system isn’t coming back. And changes in automobile technology—specifically the shift to self-driving cars—may mean driving more miles in the future, not fewer.

And that may be OK. “Autonomous vehicles are very likely to be disruptive, and to change the way we shop and live and work,” says Nidhi Kalra, an information scientist with the RAND Corporation.

Kalra is giving a briefing at the Capitol on Wednesday, March 19, on the potential impacts of self-driving cars. In a new report, Kalra and colleagues say A.V.s may “fundamentally change transportation.” Perhaps in unexpected ways.

Major automakers predict that cars that can completely drive themselves will be on the market within 10 years. The most obvious benefit will be fewer crashes—the vast majority of which are caused by human error. That will save money and lives and mean fewer traffic delays. The report notes that self-driving cars may also lead to better traffic flow overall, and therefore more fuel savings. Likewise, fewer accidents may allow for lighter and more fuelefficient vehicles.

And since the car is in control, the human “driver” is free to focus on more productive things like working, reading or watching baby goat videos. The opportunity cost of driving goes way down.

Earlier this month, the California Department of Motor Vehicles held an initial hearing on rules for A.V.s. For now, the DMV anticipates cars with an alert and licensed human driver onboard. But the technology is not far off for what the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration calls “Level 4” function: fully autonomous, possibly even unoccupied cars. This car could drop you off at the game, go park itself, perhaps at a nearby electric charging station, and come back to pick you up later.

That has all sorts of interesting implications for land use, transportation planning and urban design. Autonomous vehicles could reshape our cities. This city.

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How the automobile will reshape our cities, again First, if the hassle of commuting goes down, people will endure longer commutes.

As the automobile allowed for the suburb, so A.V.s could lead to even more sprawling sprawl.

On the other hand, freed from the need for so much parking, city centers could get denser.

Speaking of parking, the RAND report offers this warning for cities: “By making proximate parking unnecessary, Level 4 AV technology may undermine the parking revenues that are an important and reliable source of funding to many cities.” But let’s not go there.

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“We may need to rethink what we mean by mass transit.”

Nidhi Kalra information scientist, RAND Corporation Autonomous vehicles will likely siphon some riders away from mass transit—multitaskers, or those have some physical limitation that prevents them from driving, or are too young or too old.

Of course, all those additional trips mean more cars on the roads—working against the congestion-reduction effect of self-driving cars. The question is whether the social and environmental benefits of A.V.s will outpace the costs.

A.V.s will be expensive, at least for a while. We could wind up with even more inequality in transportation choices— with a strata of affluent podcar people, leaving behind a smaller, poorer ridership share for buses and trains.

“But what if AVs are rolled out as a service, instead of just as a luxury vehicle?”

Kalra asks. Fleets of networked driverless taxis and shared A.V.s could be the most accessible and affordable transportation option for many urban dwellers. Transit agencies could provide vouchers for these car-share services or offer their own. “We may need to rethink what we mean by ‘mass transit,’” Kalra says.

We may need to rethink a lot. But how does a mayor or a transit agency prepare for these sorts of changes?

“The temptation is to try to figure out what the future is going to look like. But if our predictions are wrong, our policies are going to be very wrong,” Kalra says. The trick is crafting robust policies that work under different future scenarios. “In general we want to build in more flexibility. Agencies need to get better at making decisions under deep uncertainty.”

Because it is certain that our transportation systems will change. Ω

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Wake-up call Growing attendance at charter schools sends a message The future of California’s education system was decided last night. That is, if last night was a school night. Because that is when tired moms and dads set their alarm clocks.

And the tired moms and dads of more than 500,000 California charter-school students had to set their alarms to go off earlier, so they would have enough time to drive past the neighborhood school to their destination: a charter school.

The number of earlier risers is growing. This year alone in California, 104 new charter schools opened, expanding the total to 1,130. There are an l additional 49,000 California students who applied

by Jeff Vonkaene to a charter but did not get in because there was j e ffv @n e wsr e v ie w.c o m no space available. In Sacramento County, we have 45 charter schools with 25,000 students.

Three new Sacramento County charter schools opened this fall.

I recently attended the annual California Charter School Conference, where 3,000 charter school principals, teachers and superintendents gathered for The current system workshops on how to improve their schools. I was there is crazy. The process as a vendor. My company custom publications is cumbersome and produces for nonprofits, government not working. agencies, and for both charter schools and traditional school districts.

There was energy at the convention. A “can do” energy. A “we are small but watch us grow” energy. It was fun to see so many engaged people.

This energy that I felt at the convention was such a contrast to what I often feel when I attend traditional school events. Talking with school officials or attending education seminars, it’s more common to hear why something cannot be done.

To find a Most people I know who are teachers, principals and charter school superintendents are smart, dedicated, loving, funny and near you, committed people. Great people. People who I value as go to www.cal charters.org/ my friends, my neighbors and as my fellow citizens. It schools. is easy for me to identify with those who so clearly love children and are so committed to public service. But more than most professionals I meet, teachers working within the traditional schools are frustrated. Why? Because the current system is crazy. The process is cumbersome and not working. Traditional schools have to deal with union policies that may have made sense at the bargaining table but have unintended consequences in the classroom. There is human deadwood that sucks up needed resources. This, combined with an education code that is both massive and contradictory, makes change nearly impossible.

Charter schools are public schools and tuition-free, Jeff vonkaenel is the president, but they differ from traditional schools in that parents CEO and majority and the local community can reimagine and govern the owner of the News & Review school with less interference from central bureaucracies. newspapers in Hence, charter schools are freed, to varying degrees, of Sacramento, Chico many of the challenges of traditional schools. and Reno.

I hope that the increasing number of early alarm clocks will soon wake up California so that we can have a sane discussion of education policy. Ω

This Modern World

In the aftermath of murder!

by tom tomorrow

Eleven Words

by RANDY FANDRICH with DAVE WALLIN

The inside story, new eBook chronicles the devastation among the family of ‘Vampire Killer of Sacramento’ victim, Teresa Wallin.

Synopsis: On January 23, 1978, Dave Wallin arrived home from work to find his wife, Terry, brutally murdered. Her body was mutiliated.

Terry was the second victim of the serial killer who would come to be known as The Vampire Killer of Sacramento, Rcihard Trenton Chase.

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Foreign language follies I like to think I’m pretty good with languages. I write beaucoup,” I said, handing him a 5 euro tip. He for a living, though not very well. I’ve smiled and repeated the same phrase. by spoken broken Mandarin since birth, and Luckily, the hotel receptionist spoke pretty Jonathan studied Spanish for at least 10 years—four in fluent English, as I was sleep-deprived and Mendick elementary school, four in high school and could barely remember a word of French. two in college. But I barely ever speak it, and Come to think of it, I hardly needed to use any my skills have probably regressed back to French for the following week. I only really third-grade level. needed it when buying a carnet (book) of OK, so I suck at languages. subway tickets, and saying “seulement boisStill, I thought I could learn French and sons” (only drinks) when entering a restaurant, Italian in a month— because—let’s just say I was via the newly released consuming a liquid-heavy diet.

I thought I could Mango Languages Subway tollbooth attendants app, available for free and restaurant servers were learn French and through the Sacramento at least happy that I tried to Italian in a month Public Library. It’d help speak French. via the newly me get through a twoRome was next. But here’s week honeymoon—a the thing about speaking released Mango week apiece in Paris Italian there: As soon as you Languages app. and Rome—I reasoned. mispronounce your first word, An online version of this Besides, Spanish and they’ll switch over to English. essay can be found at And then they’ll pressure you www.newsreview.com/ English share a lot of to buy something. Rome seemed to have a far sacramento/ the same Latin base words as Italian and pageburner/blogs. French, right? more tourist-based economy than Paris, and It seemed easy enough. I sat in the vendors at businesses everywhere knew just same spot on my couch and practiced each enough English to pester me with hard-sell language. I spent six hours on 25 French shtick. lessons and two hours on 15 Italian lessons.

Lesson learned: Spend more than a month First came Paris. Our shuttle driver at the learning a language before trying to go fullairport didn’t feel like speaking at all, so he immersion. And, when in Rome, act like a held up a tablet with our last name on it. It was Spanish tourist. Ω a silent 30-minute ride to the hotel. “Merci BEFORE

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by NICK MILLER I nickam@newsreview.com

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photos by STEVEN CHEA

Fa CToR Cafe Rolle sits on a strip of H Street in East Sacramento where homes give way to retail shops. Owner William Rolle has sliced smoked salmon and French pâté here going on a dozen years, and it’s the region’s top-rated restaurant—at least according to Yelp. Last month, Yelp also ranked the cafe as one of the 100 best restaurants in the United States. Yes, the entire country.

It’s no surprise then that Rolle says he loves Yelp. Business is up more than 30 percent since the accolade, and people now come from out of state to eat there. “Yelp is very powerful,” he says. With a caveat: “It can also destroy you.”

A majority of Sacramento business owners would agree with that second part. There’s no tip-toeing around it: People hate Yelp.

Stacy Paragary oversees more than a dozen local bars, clubs and restaurants as co-owner of Paragary Restaurant Group. Her employees spend hours checking Yelp for problematic reviews. The company’s even hosted private parties with free food and drinks for an BEFORE

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exclusive group of top-level reviewers called the Yelp Elite Squad. They didn’t hit it off.

“Yelp was coming at us aggressively, constantly. I just put my foot down,” Paragary says. “I’m not going to give money to the devil.”

Restaurant owner and chef Aimal Formoli says a Yelper called one of his Formoli’s Bistro employees fat in an unsavory review, which Yelp refused to remove from the site. And Salon Cuvee & Day Spa owner Brenna Meko claims she was extorted by a Yelp salesperson, who pressured her to buy ads as to be able to get rid of poor reviews.

That all sounds real ugly. But a growing number of tech-savvy fans, academic researchers and even business owners also will tell you Yelp is a wonderful, revolutionary innovation that actually helps businesses.

The company celebrates its 10th anniversary this year. Yelpers have submitted more than 50 million reviews of businesses worldwide. There are some 120 million unique users in more than two-dozen countries.

Yelp’s revenue comes mostly through paid ads on its website, and while the company is not yet profitable, its stock is up more than 300 percent in a year.

Yelp says it’s big on transparency, but that’s not the case when it comes to revealing details like the number of Sacramento users.

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Yelp Eli te photo Squad mem bigges of his drink t ber Michael t to help misconcept o post on th Saucedo sna e io p busine sses. “ n about Yelp site. He says s a It’s no t. It’s is that it’s m the for the e consum ant er.”

After 10 years of crowdsourced criticism, one-star missives and exclusive Elite parties, many Sacramento shop and restaurant owners pretty much hate Yelp. But is the company actually good for business?

It’s estimated that there are tens of thousands.

Yelp also won’t say how many top-level Elite Squad members there are, either, but local Elite member Michael Saucedo figures there are at least 2,000 more like him in the Sacramento area.

Saucedo praises Yelp because it “cuts through the corporate veil,” he says. “It gives consumers a voice against advertising.”

also have healthier retail and hospitality economies.

Lane says that more than 80 percent of Yelp’s reviews are positive. “It’s just that the negativity on Yelp gets an inordinate amount of attention.”

“Yelp is very powerful.

It can destroy you.”

When it comes to the negative stuff, small-business owners say Yelp’s first strike was its inception. Anyone could visit Yelp.com and post anything they wanted about a business. No vetting, scant rules.

And Yelp had a legal right to include any business on its site. Even this paper. Even Yelp itself. Shop owners and restaurateurs were incredulous.

Some Yelpers empathize. “Who wants to hear people whine about something you put your life into?” says Elite user Serena Rodriguez. The 25-year-old Midtowner grew up a part of the restaurant industry and has worked in hospitality her entire life. Her boyfriend is a chef. She understands: It hurts to have people rip apart your livelihood.

William Rolle chef and owner, Cafe Rolle, Yelp’s top-rated Sacramento restaurant He’s written 1,163 reviews, more than half of them are five stars, a statistic not uncommon and one of the reasons experts say Yelp actually helps local businesses.

Some U.S. cities have a Yelp community manager. In Sacramento, it’s a young guy named Alex Lane. He’s really into celebrating all things local, and, of course, he likes to highlight the good things about Yelp, too. Such as last year’s Harvard Business School study, which says cities with robust Yelp presences

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God Yelp us all

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“THE YELP FACTOR”

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Millions of other Yelpers don’t get it.

“These people review Subway, they review Carl’s Jr.,” says chef Aimal Formoli.

“It’s an open forum to talk shit about restaurants.”

In a one-star review of Formoli’s Bistro, a reviewer called a waitress “trashy” because of her tattoos. Another scathing review faulted Formoli himself for what they referred to as his “heavy” accent (he speaks English just fine).

Distasteful and factually inaccurate reviews eventually resulted in complaints to Yelp corporate, which allegedly led to shady conversations with Yelp employees.

Formoli says he’s called Yelp a few times to complain. “I’ve been told, ‘If you had an account with us, I could take this [bad review] off right now,’” he says.

Callista Wengler is Paragary’s marketing director and sometimes monitors Yelp’s write-ups. Her company’s one-star reviews run the gamut. A user who gave a single star to Centro Cocina Mexicana in Midtown called it “a trendy snob hole” without ever dining there. Another one-star review consisted of just three words: “Food was disgusting.” Wengler called to discuss other bad reviews, and Yelp allegedly fed her a similar line. “If we actually paid to be an advertiser on Yelp, we’d have a representative take care of all these issues,” she says.

Flippant one-star missives are not inconsequential. There are real, tangible losses for a business when star ratings take a dip.

A Harvard Business School study of independently owned business in Washington state showed that “a one-star increase in Yelp rating leads to a 5-9 percent increase in revenue.”

“Over 80 percent of our reviews are considered positive.”

Alex Lane Yelp Sacramento’s community manager

Jana Thomas says she was born to be an Elite Squad Yelper and insists that there are as many honest-to-good users out there as there are negative one-star flamers.

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Small-business owners like to toss around the term “extortion.” And horror stories about Yelp sales reps are so typical that one wonders if people recount them not as personal anecdote, but hearsay.

The company denies using extortion to compel businesses, and it should be noted that the courts always side with Yelp on this matter. Defamation suits against actual Yelp users are gaining legal traction, however.

“Yelp is not and never has been a payto-play site,” Yelp spokeswoman Morgan Remmers told SN&R. Eventually, coders at Yelp created a fix to address what Elite Yelper Saucedo calls “one-star flamers,” or users who visit the site just to write nasty stuff. It’s called the Yelp filter. Not unlike the mysterious Google algorithm, the filter somehow identifies bogus reviews and eliminates them from a business’s overall rating.

This created new problems. East Sacramento salon owner Brenna Meko

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asked some of her regulars to think about posting favorable reviews on Yelp to counteract some of the negative ones. They did.

But the good reviews never showed upon the site: The algorithm hid them because the customers who posted them were not regular Yelpers. She says a Yelp employee told her that if she were to become a paying advertiser, she could manage reviews on her own. “‘Give us $299 a month, and we can help you with that,’” she says Yelp told her.

“We’re a slave to our star rating and afraid to speak out,” Wengler says.

But Saucedo has a message for Sacramento’s shop and restaurant owners: “They think Yelp is for business. Well, it’s not. It’s for the consumer.”

RisE OF THE ELiTE Saucedo is the region’s premier Yelp Elite user. He sits at the front window of a downtown coffeehouse and snaps photos of his coffee drink and then uploads them to Yelp, something he’s done 20,725 times before.

If you’re thinking that’s a lot of pictures, you’re right. He’s been on Yelp since 2010.

Do the math.

The state worker goes by “Michelangelo S.” on the site. His spiked black hair appears magnetically charged, and he speaks with lively energy. But he also has an even-keeled outlook when it comes to the good and bad of Yelp. Perhaps that’s what makes him so popular with and respected by the Elite contingent, some of whom refer to him as “The Baron.”

To become Elite, it typically takes nomination from another user, after which a Yelp corporate panel decides who makes the cut. Membership is good for a year only, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll be reselected. No surprise, the process is secret and, in some cases, controversial. The perks are private parties with free eats and drinks, showcased reviews, and influence.

Is there a fear of Yelp Elite among business owners? “I think there is,” Saucedo says.

The most recent Yelp Elite party was last week in downtown Davis at Tako Korean BBQ, a locally owned Asian-fusion spot that’s been open for less than a month.

It has a three-star rating (out of a possible five) so far, which is average.

Yelp Eliters overtook more than half of Tako’s white-lit dining room and enjoyed complimentary tacos, nachos, beers and more. Community manager Lane bounced from table to table chatting with guests. He says this was a smaller-than-usual gathering of nearly four-dozen Elite Squad members.

More than 500 attended the Yelp Elite holiday party in Davis this past December.

Still, the party at Tako had a fun, communal energy. Yelp Elite newbies introduced themselves by raising their hands, Lane gave a shout-out to the “oldbies” and the Eliters sang “Happy

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“One who sees inaction in action and action in inaction, that person is intelligent. He or she is a person of established wisdom and a true performer of all actions.”

– Bhagavad Gita (Song of the Lord) Chap 4.18

“the Yelp FaCtoR”

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Busines

s at Wil li Cafe Ro am Rolle’s E ast lle named is up 30 perc Sacramento it one o ent sin ce Y f th in the c e top restaur elp a ountry last mo nts nth.

Birthday” to Saucedo. He brought his mom to the party.

Yelp’s thrown dozens more Elite parties in the past. A few weeks ago, jewelry store Shane Co. held a Desserts & Diamonds event featuring sweets and regional winemakers. There have been Mayan end-of-the-world parties at Mexican restaurants and Wild West throwdowns at casinos. Many Yelp Eliters told SN&R that two events at Midtown restaurant Capital Dime last year were the best parties in recent memory.

Capital Dime is even inviting Elite members back this week for a free happy hour. The food and drink at all these events were free.

Some business owners complain that they feel pressure to do events as a quid pro quo for positive reviews. Wengler says Paragary agreed to do Elite events in the past because she was told that Yelpers would be “going to write good reviews” afterward.

Lane says the Elite Squad is not a huge part of Yelp, and he and other Elite members dismiss the idea that the parties translate to favorable reviews. “There may be a bump, but there’s not a guarantee,” Saucedo says. “Yelp is a convenient whipping boy.”

The parties do make an impact. Shane Co. has a four-and-a-half star rating, including 11 perfect reviews from Yelp Eliters. Capital Dime has three-and-a-half stars, but more than 25 fivestar ratings from the Elite. In both cases, five-star reviews by Eliters make up more than 10 percent of the restaurant’s total feedback.

Yu Cho is the manager at Tako’s in Davis.

He’s pleased with the Yelp event and told SN&R no money was exchanged between the business, which his mom owns and operates, and Yelp.

There was also no agreement, explicit or implicit, that Eliters would be writing favorable reviews afterward. He says it’s simply a marketing opportunity for both parties.

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Which was kind of funny to him. “Our marketing manager says that Yelp kills businesses,” Cho says.

Saucedo thinks that the Elite freebies can be too much. “If there’s one thing that disappoints me about a lot of Yelpers,” he says, “it’s their sense of entitlement.”

Some say Yelp uses the Elite Squad to pressure businesses into giving away freebies.

“I have had several owners send me coupons to try their business again for free, which I think is fair,” says Elite user Jennifer Scott. She says a business once even tried to bribe her to write a good review (she outed that business on Yelp’s Talk Sacramento message board).

“I’m not going to give money to the devil.”

Stacy Paragary co-owner, Paragary Restaurant Group, on her response to aggressive Yelp sales reps Other Yelpers have gone so far to demand freebies after disappointing shopping or dining experiences. Those type of stories often go viral, such as a 2012 case when a Yelper reportedly threatened the owner of The Red Rabbit Kitchen & Bar with a negative review unless he received complimentary meals.

Are Yelpers asking for freebies? “It wouldn’t surprise me,” Saucedo says. Community managers tell Elites that accepting freebies is not appropriate conduct. But other Yelpers agree that it probably happens more than it should.

“There are just as many stand-up, factually honest Yelpers out there as there are dirtbags who are on there to do no good,” says Jana Thomas, an Elite member who has been doing reviews on the site for four years. Thomas lives in the Arden Arcade area, and, not unlike

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Saucedo, says she was born to be an Elite member.

“Yelp Elites are seen as either the Mother Mary or the Antichrist himself,” she says. Not that she cares.

“I am karma’s bitch and just like paying it forward by telling the reality and truth of my consumer experience.”

Thomas might be surprised to learn, however, that writing whatever you want on Yelp might just be a big-time boon for the Sacramento economy.

Yelp is on the waY Lane sits down at a Midtown restaurant and sips on a craft beer. He’s polite while discussing all the Yelp negativity, so it’s time to talk about how Yelp helps.

“The biggest thing people forget is that local businesses are getting business from Yelp,” he says.

And how. Professor Michael Luca’s Harvard Business School study shines a light on the good side of Yelp. Between the years of 2003 and 2009, he investigated Yelp’s impact on locavorism in Washington by analyzing restaurant profits before and after Yelp’s arrival.

His discoveries? For starters, Yelp’s penetration was commensurate with a decrease in chain restaurants over six years. The company’s in-house studies confirm this, too. For instance, 93 percent of all users who consult the site for shopping advice end up buying local, according to Yelp.

“The whole thing about Yelp is finding great local businesses,” says local marketing director Ashley North, one of the company’s three Sacramento-based employees.

The Harvard study says that local businesses not only expanded because of Yelp, they also

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profited from positive reviews—especially those

by Elite Yelpers. In fact, Luca argues that the more information there is on a business’s page— such as Elite photos and lengthy reviews—the stronger the consumer response. “[A] restaurant’s average rating is affected by the number of reviews,” he wrote, “and whether the reviewers are certified as ‘elite.’”

Interestingly, the same results don’t apply to the Starbucks and Quiznos of the world. “[D]espite the large impact of Yelp on revenue for independent restaurants … the impact is statistically insignificant and close to zero for chains.”

Here in Sacramento, Yelp parties do a lot to elevate local businesses, such as the block parties it’s hosted with the Handle District. These events have drawn thousands of guests and raised nearly $10,000 for area nonprofits like WEAVE and Happy Tails.

Seann Rooney oversees 30 Midtown businesses as executive director of the Handle District. He’s done a few events with Yelp and says the partnership has been a great relationship. “Yelp reaches so many people, it is incredible,” he says. “They are a marketing force.”

“We’re committed to highlighting the best this community has to offer,” Lane says. “And over 80 percent of our reviews are considered positive.”

Last April, Yelp held a town-hall-style meeting in Midtown. It was a chance for business owners to speak to Yelp employees and Elite members. Saucedo was there, and he says that while a lot of businesses came to confront, it was ultimately a positive experience.

Can Yelp and Sacramento’s small businesses one day coexist?

Perhaps. But that doesn’t mean shop and restaurant owners will be Yelping anytime soon. As Chu from Tako’s put it: “I like to enjoy my food.” Ω

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o ment n a r c A Sa ows dow rm thr team petitive a m es as co tling mov wres of the out d rd an a y k bac TV the o t n o

Baritone grunting.

Profuse sweating.

Veins PoPPing out of cherry-red necks and foreheads, ready to Burst.

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A beer can topples onto a pickup-truck tailgate. The smell of grilling barbecue and the music of romping puppies accompany a small tribe of giggling children swinging from a heavy white rope on a tree that men with huge biceps also climb for strength training.

As the sun beats down on a Citrus Heights yard on a recent Saturday in early March, two arm wrestlers with limbs like artillery shells are in the center of the action, facing off for pride and practice.

These are the California Armbenders, and until February, the Sacramento team was an underground legend in the world of competitive arm wrestling.

The team boasts 25 professional and a dozen amateur athletes, with many state, national and world titles to its name, and members hailing from Citrus Heights, Orangevale, Napa, Modesto and Turlock.

In 2013, Undertow Films, an unscripted televisionproduction company, cast four Armbenders, as well as another athlete from San Diego, in its newest show, Game of Arms, on the AMC Network.

The show’s February 25 series premiere broke AMC’s record for unscripted television with more than 1 million viewers.

Game of Arms features five teams. In addition to the Armbenders, there are contingents hailing from New York City; Baton Rouge, Louisiana; Kansas City, Missouri; and Erie, Pennsylvania. On each episode, two of the teams go head-to-head in hourlong episodes rife with personal drama and athletic intensity. The April 29 episode will feature all five teams facing off in a round-robin tournament for a cash prize.

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california armbenders (left to right) “team mom” Kelli “turbo” nelson, team member ryan davis and team captain tom nelson show off their best arm-wrestling positions.

Armbenders team captain Tom Nelson, a UPS warehouse worker by day, has been “pulling” with his team since 1999. Arm wrestling is a calling for the Nelson family, he says. It started with Nelson’s father, who instilled a competitive spirit in his children. Nelson, along with his sister, brother and wife, have all won tournaments big and small across the country.

Nelson’s own story is ready for comic-book immortality.

One day at UPS, he challenged his supervisor to a match.

“He was the biggest guy you’ve ever seen in your life—265 pounds, all legs,” Nelson says.

The pair wrestled on the hood of a car, and Tom slammed his supervisor’s hand down twice, lefty and righty.

“He looked me right in my eye, calm as day, and he says, ‘Son, you go online, you find a tournament, go to it, and tell me how you did.’”

Weapons of mass destruction The weekend Armbenders practice in Citrus Heights involves fun and games, for now. Most of the team is here for the informal biweekly family reunion.

The stars of the AMC show are out on the road. Nelson is currently in Ohio at an AMC-sponsored tournament to promote the show and recruit potential cast members for a possible second season.

Meanwhile, Kelli “Turbo” Nelson, Tom’s sister and the self-appointed team mom, roams the yard watching her boys compete on two beat up, regulation-size arm-wrestling tables.

All the Armbenders here, she says, are “like a huge family.”

Mac “Stop Sign” Telle jokes around with Kelli.

“Usually Kelli punches me in the head if I’m acting up or being a pussy,” he says.

“It’s my job,” Kelli says. “Keeping these boys in line is a 24-seven job. As the team mom, I get to beat up the newbies first.”

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Nelson describes his group as “a drinking first Armbenders team 35 years ago, when they team with an arm-wrestling problem.” decided to compete and train regularly, and a Their beverage of choice: Bud Light new generation of talent joined the team in 1999, or Corona, not a top-shelf, locally brewed when the Nelson family entered the picture. craft beer.

Allen Fisher, the San Diego athlete who “What the hell for?” he says. “Cheap beer competes with the Armbenders at the behest of gets you just as drunk.”

Game of Arms casting, is a 49-year-old legend Cheap beer suits the sport, since top prize in the arm-wrestling community, especially in money only averages $500-$1,000 in most tourparts of Europe, where the sport is as big as the naments. Nelson’s personal record is winning NFL (Russian competitors are state-sponsored $4,000 at a West Virginia competition. athletes, who allegedly receive steroids for the An hour with the Armbenders leaves the sport from their government). impression that the Nelson clan is like the The Armbenders knew the iconic Fisher Skywalker family of American arm wrestling. from years of tournaments before the show.

Kelli and Tom’s younger brother Scott How famous is Fisher, exactly?

Nelson once competed According to in tournaments until he legend, the arm wresgot bored, going undetler was chatting with a feated for two years.

Russian competitor at Now he’s a mixedan international compemartial arts fighter tition when the Russian who trains with Urijah said, “The president Faber. When Kelli isn’t sends his best and organizing practices congratulates you on or tending to her own your recent victory.” family, she also throws Fisher thought he elbows with the Sacred meant the president of City Derby Girls rollerthe Russian league.

Kelli “Turbo” Nelson derby league.

“Nyet,” the Russian arm wrestler But mostly, arm said, “Vladimir Putin is wrestling keeps her big fan.” busy. According to Kelli, she and Tom have Of course President Putin would idolize a won “world titles, 10 national championships man with 15-and-a-half-inch diameter biceps and and about 60 state championships” from fists so large that he can hide a soda can in the California, Oregon and Washington. palm of his right hand, which dwarfs his left.

Ryan Davis, the host of today’s get-together, Tom Nelson describes Fisher as “a freak of lifts up his shirt to show a bruise on his hip from nature.” bracing against the metal table frame.

“Allen Fisher’s hands are so big, and his Mike McGraw, the Armbenders founder and waist is so small, that his hands don’t fit in his 51-year-old guru, hosts practice once a month pockets, which is why he uses a fanny pack,” at his house in Turlock, but couldn’t make it Nelson says. to Citrus Heights today. He started his pulling Also on the show but absent today is career at the 1979 Santa Clara County Fair Kenny Hughes, who shocked the world of tournament, which he won without practicing. pullers when he defeated Fisher for a world He entered the competition after being mesmertitle at age 16. Now 32, Hughes and Nelson ized by pro arm wrestlers on ABC’s Wide charm audiences with their best-buddies World of Sports. He and a friend formed the friendship on TV.

F E AT U R E

“I love my arm-wrestlIng famIly the way It Is, but If the show brIngs more people to the sport, that’s a good thIng.”

STORY

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The show’s executive producer Ethan Prochnik marvels at the fan engagement. The network, he says, has taken notice of the unusually high ratio of viewers that keep chatting about the show on Facebook and Twitter. If fans keep talking, he says, professional arm wrestlers are poised to explode on the national stage, thanks to these athletes.

But the TV show has brought some friction into the Armbenders fold, too.

Team members talk of on-and-off rumors that Robert Drenk, an Orange County RV and mortgage-finance entrepreneur, would beat Game of Arms to the small screen.

“We’ve been hearing [Drenk] is three months away from his TV show for two years now,” says Kelli.

Drenk scooped up more than 160 top-ranked arm-wrestling athletes and referees, signing them to exclusive contracts promising fame and fortune.

Telle signed up with Drenk, for example, only to reportedly have the millionaire back out of a network deal at the last minute. The disappointment that Telle now can’t even appear in the Armbenders cheering section on Game of Arms is palpable, but legally, he can’t discuss it.

Still, Telle, whose guns would make Arnold Schwarzenegger say, “Hasta la vista, Telle,” may still hit it big if arm wrestling succeeds on TV. Certainly, TV success would mean a bigger spotlight for all involved.

Kelli hopes the show expands her competition, since only about a dozen American female athletes participate in her weight class.

“I love my arm-wrestling family the way it is, but if the show brings more people to the sport, that’s a good thing,” she says.

“Female arm-wrestler numbers are dwindling, and the possibility of bringing in more women would be amazing.” Ω

Check out Game of Arms on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on AMC and online at www.gameofarms.com.

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For the week of March 20

wEEKLy PIcKS

Crazy-Ass Spring Break Fundraiser 2 Friday, March 21 Ready for sleaze? This fundraiser for Trash Film Orgy’s latest film Badass Monster Killer features a bloody wet-T-shirt contest, games, burlesque dancers, a drag queen, the Secretions’ SLEAZE Mickie Rat and sneak peeks from the film—at one of the dive-iest bars in town. $10, 9 p.m. at On the Y, 670 Fulton Avenue; trashfilmorgy.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

Friends of the Folsom Library Book Sale Friday, March 21, through Sunday, March 23 The Friends of the Folsom Library sell books for cash.

Stuff a grocery bag full of summer beach reads, and BOOK SALE take it home for $5 (Sunday only). Ka-ching! $5 on Friday, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.; free on Saturday and Sunday, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Folsom Public Library, 411 Stafford Street in Folsom; www.friendsofthefolsomlibrary.org.

—Jessica Rine

Bikes & Beers Saturday, March 22 Being rewarded with a free beer for riding your bike to a local theater production before the show is pretty much the most Sacramentan thing you can do with your Saturday. At Der Biergarten, receive $2 off the ticket price for 4000 Miles and be entered to win prizes from local bike THEATER shops. $32-$34, 6:30 p.m. at Der Biergarten, 2332 K Street; Capital Stage, 2215 J Street; (916) 995-5464; www.capstage.org.

—Deena Drewis

Antique Flea Market and Vintage Trailer Show Saturday, March 22

PHOTO BY ERIK FRITTS

T

hings are funnier when it’s late. Take, for example late-night comedy shows. It’s no coincidence that my DVR is full of programs hosted by Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. OK, maybe I have to record them because they all come on around the same time, an hour or so before midnight. On the other hand, the folks at the Sacramento Comedy Spot are definitely funny all the time, and they’ll be performing all day and all night for two

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whole days this weekend in the 48 Hour Comedy Marathon (www.48hoursofcomedy.com).

The 48 Hour Comedy Marathon—beginning at 8 p.m. on Friday, March 21, until 8 p.m. on Sunday, March 23, at 1020 20th Street—offers a smorgasbord of improv, stand-up, sketch, podcasts and variety comedy performances.

Some events are ticketed, costing $5-$12, while others are free; or grab a $30 all-access pass to get into any event.

Here are some highlights: Totally Awesome Radical Morning Aerobics... To the Max!

F E AT U R E

STORY

The Elk Grove Historical Society and The Red Door have set up a flea market with dozens of vendors, highlighting vintage trailers. $5, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the corner of ANTIQUES Elk Grove Boulevard and Railroad Street in Elk Grove; (916) 714-0619; www.thereddoorelkgrove.com.

(8 a.m. on Saturday, March 22; donations accepted), with host Jesse Jones leading an ’80s-style workout, complete with spandex and headbands; Acoustic Comedy (10:30 p.m. on Saturday, $5), featuring musical comedy by Sam Bruno, Dorian Foster and Hunter Hill, with a reunion of comedy rock band, Vegetable Sacrifice; and AntiCooperation League (9 p.m. on Saturday, $12; 7 p.m. on Sunday, free), the flagship troupe which improvises comedy based on interviews with special guests.

—Jessica Rine

Michael Cella hosts a show called Comix ($8, 8 p.m., on Saturday, March 22).

—Jonathan Mendick

| A R T S & C U L T U R E

2014 International Culinary Festival Sunday, March 23 California has come a long way in culinary diversity since it had an imitation-crab sushi roll named after it. The Rotary Club of Historic Folsom offers a taste of foods from around the world, beer and FOOD wine tasting, and live entertainment. $25, 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. at the Folsom Community Center, 50 Natoma Street; http://historicfolsomrotary.org.

—Deena Drewis

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16th & v st

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best.

Double dipping

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Kansai Ramen & Sushi House 2992 65th Street, Suite 288; (916) 455-0288 A bowl of good ramen traditionally includes broth, chewy alkaline noodles, a soft-boiled egg, some sort of protein and a variety of additional accoutreby Jonathan Mendick ments. Good sushi is even harder to define, but its most essential ingredient is the cooked j o nathan m@ and vinegar-seasoned rice—and after that, raw newsreview.c om fish. Both dishes require hours of preparation, a mastery of certain cooking techniques and have become experimenting grounds for many innovative chefs.

Kansai Ramen & Sushi House serves its own take on both of these popular Japanese dishes, with varying degrees of success. rating: Due to the recent rain, a hot bowl of ramen HHH seemed like an appropriate place to start. On my first visit, I ordered a bowl of kakuni ramen, dinner for one: which is exactly the same as the house ramen, $10 - $20 but with a twist: three thick slices of braised pork belly in lieu of thin slices of chashu. The pork belly was a great choice. It had a nice, sweet marinade, which chashu lacks, a tender consistency, and its excess flavor and aroma started seeping into the opaque but dull house soup broth as soon as I started slurping from H flawed the bowl.

There was also a perfectly executed softHH haS momentS boiled egg (cooked egg white on the outside, raw yolk on the inside) in the broth and—unforHHH tunately—overcooked, soft ramen noodles. appealing Bamboo shoots, spinach, corn, green onion, HHHH bean sprouts and a square of seaweed rounded authoritative out this run-of-the-mill soup. My dining partner HHHHH ordered an ahi-katsu ramen, which was identiepic cal to the kakuni, but served with a few slices of battered and fried ahi tuna in instead. The ahi didn’t match the flavorful kakuni, but did add a hint of oil and seafood aroma to the bowl—still not enough to overcome the blandness of the chicken-and-pork-based house broth.

On another visit, I decided to amp it up by ordering spicy tan tan men. It delivered.

The house broth was completely eclipsed by this spicy, beefy and seafood-tinted soup base that teemed with flavor. Better yet, a scoop of ground beef enhanced the broth. Also, I Still hungry? remembered to order the noodles lightly cooked Search Sn&r’s this time, and they arrived nicely al dente. This “dining directory” bowl seemed near perfect, a far cry from the to find local restaurants by name previous two.

Next up, appetizers: chicken karaage and or by type of food.

Sushi, mexican, indian, seafood lettuce wraps. The wraps appeared italian—discover it slightly haphazard, with chunks of fish all in the “dining” section at overcooked and overseasoned in soy sauce www.news and scooped onto cups of iceberg lettuce. The review.com. karaage, on the other hand, was a perfectly fried piece of chicken, with a simple breading and not too oily.

Finally, I tried a few sashimi specials (pepperfin and poke), and a couple of sushi maki (the Kansai and the Mufasa roll). Kansai’s poke, a Hawaiian raw-fish salad, had a little too much salt. It also featured wakame (seaweed), daikon radish and sesame oil, but the copious soy sauce would’ve been balanced better with BEFORE

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a bit of Sriracha sauce and perhaps some sweet onion. Fortunately, the pepperfin dish (albacore tuna, sesame oil, jalapeños, scallions) achieved a much lighter flavor with a simple lemon ponzu sauce that accentuated superb diced raw fish.

Though described as “maki sushi,” the rolls here are Western style—a.k.a. loaded with toppings. That certainly describes the Kansai (soft-shell crab and tuna inside, avocado, seared tuna, fish eggs and sauces outside) and the Mufasa (crab and avocado inside, salmon and sauce outside). The Mufasa is particularly tasty, seasoned in sesame oil and baked—a somewhat unusual technique for sushi. Both rolls were loaded with many complex flavors, making for a delicious experience.

happy hour.

5

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fried calamari / wild mushroom ketchup

Though described as “maki sushi,” the rolls here are Western style—a.k.a. loaded with toppings.

house-made deviled ham / pilsner crackers

There’s a nice little drink selection at Kansai, too. A Hana brand flavored sake (white peach) recommended by a server paired well with the salty poke and ramen. Echigo Stout, a Japanese beer, paired well with sushi rolls.

Overall, this is the kind of place that should leave diners with a handful of nice memories, thanks to friendly service, good ramen and an inventive sushi chef. Ω

chorizo potato chips

salted bacon cracker jacks duck nuggets / bbq jam crab cakes / avocado mousse chicken wing confit / house-smoked blue cheese vinaigrette creamed spinach & artichokes / white toast point

best damn happy hour 4pm - 6pm everyday: monday taco trio tuesday wine lover wednesday tiki thursday

Natural butt flavoring

friday

Castoreum is a substance that is secreted from beavers’ butts. And it is sometimes used as vanilla, strawberry and raspberry flavorings in processed

saturday

foods like candy, ice cream, nonalcoholic (ice tea, soda) and alcoholic beverages.

Beavers mark their territory with this musky, vanilla-scented secretion, which is also used in perfumes. According to National Geographic, food scientists have to anesthetize the animals to milk the anal glands. But killing them and pulling out the castor sac is another harvesting method. In 19th-century Sweden, the latter was so frequently used, that the beaver population was annihilated, according to The Local. Consumers won’t likely find castoreum listed on labels, though: It (legally) falls under the “natural flavor” categorization. Contact food manufacturers and demand transparency in their ingredients if you want to know if there is anal flavoring in your treats.

STORY

A RT S & C U LT U R E

$5 three tacos, negra modelo ½ price, $5 dime margarita sommelier’s choice $15-$18 glass for $5 special tiki drinks signature drinks for $5 yoga brunch with zuda yoga. starting april 5

saturday & sunday

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saturday & sunday

yappy hour 3-6pm. “all dogs drink for free!” dog treats and doggie bags available

half-dime drinks wine du jour $5

wells $5

drafts $4

pbr big boys $2

pickle backs $5

1801 l street midtown sacramento, ca 9 16.4 4 3.10 10

—Shoka |

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Darna This Palestinian restaurant serves an excellent baba ghanoush that, instead of being blended into a smooth paste, is served chunky and studded with eggplant seeds. Its smoky, deep flavor is balanced out by a lemony brightness, and it’s good on the somewhat flabby pita bread with which it’s served, but it’s even better on the house-made za’atar bread. Chicken-breast kebabs are not particularly flavorful but have some char from the grill, while the falafel and chicken shawarma are underwhelming. Do order a side of tabbouleh salad, however. It’s pretty to look at—bright-green chopped parsley studded with white grains of bulgur—and tastes refreshing. Palestinian.

925 K St., (916) 447-7500. Dinner for one: $15-$25. HHH B.G.

Where to eat?

Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations by Becky Grunewald, Ann Martin Rolke, Garrett McCord and Jonathan Mendick, updated regularly.

Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

Midtown The Coconut Midtown The food here travels a path between standard and inventive. Creamcheese wontons, for example, aren’t the epitome of culinary Southeast Asian traditions, but damn it if they aren’t delightful. Soft cream cheese and chives in a crispy wrapper and served with a sweet chili sauce?

Nothing wrong with that. The chicken larb—a spicy mincedmeat salad—is fragrant and intense. Mint, chilies, basil and iceberg lettuce are drenched in a spicy lime dressing punctuated with a heavy hand of fish sauce. The Coconut has warnings in its menu about which dishes are spicy, but unless you’re a newborn kitten, trembling and mewling, you might not even be aware of the chilies in your food. Thai. 2502 J St., (916) 447-1855. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH1/2 G.M.

Downtown & Vine This tasting room and wine bar spotlights the local farm-to-glass movement.

Here, diners can order 2-ounce tasting flights of wine. Choose three from the same vintner to compare styles, or mix and match to contrast similar wines from regional wineries. Wines are also available in larger pours and by the bottle. Wine is meant to be enjoyed with food, of course: The menu offers a wide selection of tidbits and hearty dishes. Worth sampling: the goat-cheese stuffed peppers, chilled Spanish-spiced shrimp, and a cheddar-andapple melt. Or try the ambrosial Wine Country sandwich, with salty prosciutto, sweet fig jam, oozy mozzarella and peppery

Happy Hour

Hook & Ladder Manufacturing Co. The restaurant, by the same owners as Midtown’s The Golden Bear, sports a firefighting theme (a ladder on the ceiling duct work, shiny silver wallpaper with a rat-andhydrant motif) and a bar setup

that encourages patrons to talk to each other. An interesting wine list includes entries from Spain and Israel; there are also draft cocktails and numerous beers on tap. The brunch menu is heavy on the eggs, prepared in lots of ways. One option is the Croque Madame, a hamand-Gruyere sandwich usually battered with egg. This one had a fried egg and béchamel, with a generous smear of mustard inside. The mountain of potato hash alongside tasted flavorful and not too greasy. The menu also features pizzas and house-made pastas, but one of its highlights includes an excellent smoked-eggplant baba ghanoush, which is smoky and garlicky. The bananas foster bread pudding is equally transcendent. American. 1630 S St., (916) 442-4885. Dinner for one: $20-$40. HHH1/2 AMR

it all together for an addictive and satisfying lunch. One of Thai Basil’s true highlights is its homemade curry pastes. These balanced constructions of basil, lemongrass, shallots, chilies, kaffir lime leaves and other ingredients, when roasted, have been known to drive hungry Sacramentans into a berserk craze. Service here is impeccable. Thai Basil has earned its reputation. Thai. 2431 J St., (916) 442-7690. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHHH G.M.

Land Park/ Curtis Park Spice Kitchen The menu here has a few tangential dishes like pad thai, but it’s mostly focused on Japanese cuisine, with a side menu of Chinese-American favorites. Tasty options include the vegetable tempura, lightly fried with slices of Japanese sweet potato and yams. If you want ramen, the hot soup dish these days, try the red tonkotsu version: It’s served with lots of nicely chewy noodles, spinach and the requisite soft-boiled egg. Spice Kitchen also serves bento boxes in lunch and dinner portions for a good price. Here, diners get soup, rice, salad and tempura, as well as a meat of choice. Japanese. 1724 Broadway, (916) 492-2250. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH AMR

Thai Basil SN&R readers consistently vote this place among the city’s top Thai restaurants for this paper’s annual Best of Sacramento issue. And for good reason. The restaurant’s tom yum soup may be one of the best foods served in the City of Trees. It features an incredibly savory broth with layers of flavor. Likewise, the tom kha gai—a coconut-broth soup—is a veritable panacea against Delta winds. Salads make up a large part of Thai cuisine and should not be overlooked. Larb gai consists of simple shredded chicken over mixed greens, cucumber and tomatoes. Fresh mint and a chili-laden dressing heavy with fish sauce and vigorous squeezes of lime juice pull

East Sac Cielito Lindo Mexican Gastronomy Instead of cheese-blanketed entrees, diners here can order

popular destination for kids’ sports teams and birthday parties also caters to adult diners with good food and healthy options, such as organic whole-wheat crusts.

Gluten-free and vegan choices are also available. With a texture closer to Chicago style than New York style, the pizzas are tasty but quite filling. Choose from house-made sauces and fresh toppings, or pick from one of the inventively named presets. The Old Lady is especially good, with pesto, potatoes, spinach, lots of veggies and a zingy balsamic drizzle. The biggest secret here, though, is the barbecue. Wicked West delivers with shredded, tender meat that’s lightly smoky and tossed with a vinegar-based sauce. The pork ribs are dryrubbed and toothsome, while the tri-tip is well cooked but leans toward a dry texture. The chicken is rubbed

South Sac Yang’s Noodles This is perhaps the only place in town that serves niu rou jian bing (sliced beef rolls)—a specialty of northern China—and the ones at Yang’s hit the spot. This is basically the Chinese version of a burrito: meat (thinly

Happy Hour Monday – Friday 3–6pm

THAI

’13

2502 J St | Sacramento, CA | 916.447.1855 | Coconutmidtown.com

Midtown

French

at

Bistro

14th & O Street

Paris at your doorstep...

Cassoulet / Escargot • Largest selection of rare cheeses • Authentic French preparation •

Bistro Michel

bistromichel.com • 1501 14th Street 916.346.4012

03.20.14

Wicked West Pizza & BBQ This

EXP 03/31/14

148 Reviews as of 03/17/14

|

West Sacramento

Buy any dinner entree at regular price, get the second for 1/2 OFF! Must present coupon, cannot combine with other discounts.

OnE PEr tablE - Valid MOn-thurs Only

Special Vegan & Gluten free menu options!

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SN&R

sliced beef marinated in soy sauce) plus veggies (diced green onion, cucumber and cilantro) wrapped in a large, flat carbohydrate crepe (a thin pancake made out of flour, water and green onion).

Elsewhere on the menu, Yang’s eponymous noodles are homemade, alkaline and chewy. Chinese.

5860 Stockton Blvd., (916) 392-9988. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH J.M.

BUY 1 GET 1 1/2 OFF

4 - 6pm daily | $3 appetizers 3 beers on tap | $2 bottle beer

$

CHECK YELP PAGE FOR THE DAILY $1 BEER SELECTION

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upscale dishes such as enchiladas de mole: tortillas wrapped around amazingly moist, flavorful chicken, bathed in a housemade mole poblano. The sauce has a million wonderful flavors.

The portions here are quite generous. A green salad with fruits and nuts was big enough for a meal, even without the optional meat or seafood topping. The restaurant’s empanaditas de salpicon con papas are little turnovers standing up amid a drizzle of ancho sauce. The crust features a bit of leavening that makes it both crunchy and fluffy. The filling of beef, potatoes and vegetables tastes wellflavored and a bit spicy. Or try the tacos de arrachera—three soft tortillas enclose marinated strips of meltingly good steak, topped with roasted poblano chilies, lots of fresh cilantro and crema. They’re drippy, but worth every napkin. The menu is meatcentric, but the kitchen is vegetarian friendly as well. The crema de rajas poblanas, fully vegan and similar to a Mexican minestrone, is full of chickpeas, poblanos and onions in a rich broth uniquely flavored with vanilla and epazote. Mexican.

3672 J St., (916) 736-2506. Dinner for one: $20-$25. HHHH AMR

Treat yourself to gift certificates up to 75% OFF! Visit www.newsreview.com

arugula on grilled bread. There are also a variety of flatbreads loaded with topping combos like capicola, three cheeses, piquillo peppers and green onions. The bread for these comes across as more than a pizza trying to be fancy. American. 1200 K St., Ste. 8; (916) 228-4518. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH AMR

1315 21st Street, Sacramento 916.441.7100

Party at your place?

«

Downtown

ness We cater “hut” delicioiausted 24 hr notice apprec

2406 J Street | 916.442.1400 Midtown Sacramento Tiki Patio NOW OPEN | 11 Craft Beers

BeachHutDeliMidtown

Arden/ Carmichael FreshMed Mediterranean Cuisine This restaurant broadens the definition of “Mediterranean.”

In addition to the usual options—gyros, hummus, falafel, etc.—it also serves dishes from a wide range of cultures. For example, FreshMed offers a $6 Indian and Pakistani lunch buffet.

Selections include stir-fried eggplant; curried chickpeas, lentils; and a creamy, spicy and hearty chicken tikka masala. The Mediterranean Nacho and chicken panini are examples of what the restaurant does well: culinary mashups that aren’t derivative, but instead rely heavily on flavor and innovation. The paninis are standouts: The bread is sweet, thicker than one might expect, and pressed nicely on a grill, with char marks on both sides. Mediterranean.

1120 Fulton Ave., Ste. I; (916) 486-1140. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHH1/2 J.M.

Roma’s Pizza & Pasta This eatery claims to serve “authentic Italian-style” food, but that’s only partially true when it comes to its pizza. That’s because it actually serves two types: one with the kind

of thick, doughy crust usually found on an American-styled pizza, and another with a thinner crust, resembling a pie one might actually have in Italy. The thicker crust is chewy, but ultimately lacking in flavor. However, the tomato sauce makes up for the dough with a nice, spicy kick, and Roma’s doesn’t skimp on the toppings. The thin-crust pizza impresses: It’s light and crispy like a cracker and clearly is the superior option.

Italian. 6530 Fair Oaks Blvd. in Carmichael, (916) 488-9800.

Dinner for one: $10-$20.

HHH J.M.

North Highlands Kim Son Mongolian BBQ Vietnamese & Chinese Food It’s difficult to rate Mongolian barbecue by regular reviewing standards, because it’s the diner who chooses the ingredients and seasoning and then gives them to the chef to prepare. But here’s what Kim Son does well: It stocks plenty of fresh veggies; thin slices of meat; thick, chewy chow mein noodles; about a dozen sauces (including cooking wine, ginger, teriyaki, and Sriracha sauces); and additional toppings (sesame seeds, minced garlic).

Want to stick to the menu?

Try the Kim Son Spicy Beef, seasoned with sha cha jiang, a sauce composed of minced garlic, chili, shrimp and other seasonings: It’s the best dish from an otherwise lackluster menu of Chinese food.

Chinese. 4980 Watt Ave. in North Highlands, (916) 331-8188. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH1/2 J.M.

Stirling Bridges Restaurant and Pub This British- and Scottishthemed gastropub offers an adequate beer selection and an extensive menu that goes beyond standard deep-fried pub fare. Try the Irish onion soup, a French onion-styled soup kicked up with Irish whiskey and Guinness beer.

Or order the house-made veggie burger—it’s one of the tastiest black-bean patties around. The most unusual dish on the menu is the Scottish Mafia Pizza. Topped with turkey pastrami, potatoes, cabbage and Swiss cheese, it falls short with its too many flat flavors to actually benefit from their unusual pairing.

Thankfully, there’s Tabasco sauce on the table. Pub. 5220 Manzanita Ave. in Carmichael, (916) 331-2337.

Dinner for one: $10-$20.

HHH1/2 J.M.

Davis Raja’s Tandoor This place has long been a favorite with the area’s student population, thanks to its lunch buffet featuring multiple vegan and vegetarian options (dinner at Raja’s also won’t disappoint, by the way). The potato-andpea samosas are a meal in and of themselves. It is highly recommended that you slather these with spicy chutney and seasoned raita. The chana masala here is one of the best

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Uni Pasta with Uni Butter & chopped shizo leaves

9

th

Fine Japanese cuisine with an italian twist

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Village Bakery Diners can order pizza and pastries, but let’s talk bread instead. Village’s seed loaf is slathered with sesame, poppy and sunflower seeds inside and out, and it has a devout following. Earthy and nuttier than a Burning Man festival, it’s best taken home to be toasted and then slathered with butter and jam. A rosemary focaccia is soft as a pillow and greedily soaks up any oil and balsamic put in front of it. But if there is one loaf that sets Village Bakery apart from every other bakery in the region, it’s the garlic-and-Parmesan bread. An utter umami bomb of halfwaycaramelized garlic—sweet but retaining a slight sulfury bite. The pockets of Parm are blessings from the bread gods, and the snappy cracker of cheese on the crust will make a devoted acolyte of anyone.

American. 814 Second St. in Davis, (530) 750-2255. Dinner for one: $5-$10. HHHH1/2 G.M.

J

Ultimate food porn

What’s better than looking at photos of food on blogs? Watching films about food at the annual Sacramento Food Film Festival, of course—all while eating food. Launched in 2012 by Munchie Musings blogger (www.munchiemusings.net) Catherine Enfield, the festival has grown into a 10-day event this year, complete with documentaries, dramas and even an animated film—and some screenings are paired with thematic meals. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs will be combined with a spaghetti dinner prepared by Selland’s Market-Cafe, Bottle Shock will come with a four-course dinner and wine from Lucca Restaurant & Bar, and Beer Wars will be paired with food made by Adam Pechal and brews from Ruhstaller Beer. In other words, it’s the ultimate food porn, and it begins on Thursday, March 20, through Sunday, March 30, at various venues throughout Sacramento.

Some events are free, while others cost $15-$40 to attend. View trailers, look at menus and more at www.sacfoodfilmfest.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

MARCH MADNESS e x c l u s i v e s

$2 domestic beers during games

western bacon chips $11 ch nac icken ho s $1 0

pulle ques d pork adill as $10

k & blac chips 8 $ ip bean d

st

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dishes by far. It usually tends to feature a strong butter taste but is actually cooked with canola oil here—it’s vegan—and the tenderness of the chickpeas as well as the punch of the ginger and coriander makes it worth returning for. Indian.

207 Third St. in Davis, (530) 753-9664. Dinner for one: Less than $10. HHH1/2 G.M.

THINK FREE.

Think Different

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

with olive oil and herbs and rotisserie-smoked to produce a moist and juicy result. Pizza/ Barbecue. 3160 Jefferson Blvd. in West Sacramento, (916) 572-0572. Dinner for one: $5-$10.

HHH AMR

STORY

1501 L Street | Sacramento, CA | 916.443.0500 | www.3FiresLounge.com |

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Fridays and Saturdays March 7 - March 29, 8pm Tickets: $20

FIND OF THE WEEK

YOU’RE WELCOME, NATURE.

PLUS: Special Performance Sunday, March 16, 7pm, Tickets: $25

RECYCLE THIS PAPER.

Winners Learning Center 3940 60th Street, Sacramento

Print this Free Press

The cruelest animal Beasts Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson continues his study of the emotional life of animals by examining the nature of conflict among animals in Beasts: What Animals BOOK Can Teach Us About the Origins of Good and Evil (Bloomsbury, $26). He’s especially concerned here with apex predators and their—undeserved, he argues—reputation for cruelty. Masson argues that predators kill only to feed and never make torture a part of the process; in defense and mating, other animals are sometimes killed, but it’s not an intentional act. He suggests that cruelty seems to be a uniquely human attribute. He’s an interesting writer, but there’s a tendency toward didacticism. What comes through loud and clear, though, is that humans are easily the cruelest of animals.

—Kel Munger

Shop your nightmares CritiCal Hit: tHe art oF skinner He shares a name with a Marvel comics Ghost Rider villain, but Skinner isn’t a bad guy. Rather, he’s the creator of psychedelic nightmare art. Skinner, who once called Sacramento home, now lives in Oakland.

Previously, the artist was mostly known for his mural of monsters and sharp-toothed beasts located in an alley off 16th Street, as well as various works depicted on Bay Area buildings. Now, he’s got an online store that offers a collection of wallet-friendly pieces.

Choose from hand-painted collectible action figures, jewelry, prints and more. Add flair to any SHOP dull wardrobe with a variety of buttons ($5 for a three-pack), or perhaps pick a Lurker pendant in bronze (also $50). www.shopcriticalhit.com.

—Steph Rodriguez

Fight the power Fixed

NOW PLAYING. RESERVE YOUR SEATS ONLINE.

WWW.IMAX.COM/SACRAMENTO IMAX® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF IMAX CORPORATION.

32 | SN&R | 03.20.14 IMAX-SNR-DIVERGENT-4.9x5.67.indd 1

Most of us know someone who’s fought a parking ticket and won. But is it even worth the trouble—showing up in court, pleading a case—just to get out of a fine?

APP Those who want to fight the power the lazy way can use the Fixed app. All a user needs to do is snap a photo of the ticket with a smartphone, and Fixed handles the rest. The app is free, but all this ease still comes with a price: Fixed takes a fee (25 percent of the original ticket) for every win. So far, the app only covers San Francisco, but the company, which claims a 50 percent win rate, plans to add other cities. www.getfixed.me.

—Aaron Carnes

14-03-13 3:59 PM

The terms “SMUD” and “art” seem like they should be mutually exclusive. The former is an acronym for the Sacramento Municipal Utility District, after all, a.k.a. the agency that keeps your house powered.

Well, check your preconceptions: The East Sacramentobased SMUD headquarters houses an art gallery, in association with the Sacramento Metropolitan Arts ComART mission’s Art in Public Places program, and regularly puts the spotlight on regional creative types.

This month’s exhibit, Free Press, is a group show highlighting fine-art prints by area artists.

Participating artists include Carol Abbe, Sandra Beard, Sally Bullock, Joanna Kidd, Dixie Laws, Christine Meighan, Barbara Nilsson, Manuel Fernando Rios, Susan J. Silvester and Katherine Venturelli.

The entirety of the program highlights established and emerging printmakers, and the range of work is vast. Kidd’s “What Are You Looking At,” for example, seems abstract until a closer look reveals finely detailed faces and bodies.

And “Contact #1” by Silvester (pictured) is a sweet yet spooky depiction of two young friends in a forest.

The artists’ reception is on Friday, March 21, from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., and regular gallery hours are Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. SMUD Art Gallery, 6301 S Street; www.sacmetro arts.org/gallery-program.html.

—Rachel Leibrock

More emotion, fewer emoji My husband and I communicate by text about tough things, because in person, we don’t communicate well. When we talk in person, we drift off topic because he gets defensive. Afterward, he is apologetic and loving, but nothing gets resolved. He has been increasingly unkind toward me, but at least he keeps it private (not in front of the kids). I do not want to leave him, but I am

by Joey ga not happy. What should I do? rcia Accept that your wellintentioned effort has failed. a s kj o ey @ ne wsreview.c om Employing technology to process emotions does not work for you or your husband.

Communicating in person isn’t Joey working either, and has not for has daffodils some time. Can you recall any blooming in moment in your relationship when her kitchen. you both opened up to each other in an emotionally fulfilling way?

That conversation could serve as a template for structuring new and future discussions. If not, here are some essential rules for any difficult negotiation. For starters, preparation is key. Try to process some of your

Share your feelings using specific language about how his actions affect you, but do not blame or shame him. own emotions before talking to your husband. You can write in a journal, chat with a good friend, pray for insight or dance off your anger, but do something that allows you to enter the conversation as centered and open as possible.

You must also commit to keeping the conversation focused on one issue only. If the conversation wanders off course, bring it back to the topic that requires resolution. Doing so is an act of love for yourself and your husband. And when you and your husband start talking, don’t list every wrong thing he has ever done. If you are angry about your partner’s overspending, for example, bring up only the most recent crisis. Share your feelings using specific language about how his actions affect you, but do not blame or shame him. Don’t say: “You don’t care about your family, you’re selfish and only care about

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

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yourself!” Say this: “When I saw our bank account overdrawn by $1,500, I became frightened. I need to feel financially secure, and I want that for our children, too. When money we need to live and pay our bills disappears, I lose all trust. How can we work on this together and avoid having it happen again?”

You and your husband may be able to find a path into emotional intimacy by working together on communication skills. But you may need a neutral third party to guide you. If he is unwilling to see a marriage therapist with you, consider taking a communication course for couples.

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Every once in a while, when I invite one of my friends to do something fun, she will bring her 13-year-old daughter along without asking me beforehand. It’s awkward, of course, because the kind of conversation I want to have with another adult must be ditched in favor of talk that is appropriate in front of her teenager. I have tried to drop hints, but she brings her daughter along anyway. How can I get her to understand that I am uncomfortable?

If this other adult is truly your friend, why are you dropping hints?

The core of friendship is direct, honest and compassionate communication. Without it, you have an acquaintance, not a friend. So tell your friend that you prefer to decide with her when it is appropriate for her daughter to join you both, and when it’s best to hang out unaccompanied by a minor. If she balks, don’t be offended. She might be the kind of parent who imagines herself as her daughter’s best friend. It’s a popular concept, although rarely true. More often, it’s a parent’s method of maneuvering around her or his own inability to be emotionally intimate with another adult, or to control a son or daughter’s relationships. Ω

Meditation of the Week “Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow, ripening fruit,” said Aristotle.

What relationship is your primary investment?

F E AT U R E

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BEST OF THE

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See the complete list of nominees at www.newsreview.com

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AT WWW.NEWSREVIEW.COM

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NOMINEES CONTINUED ON PAGE 54

ISSUE ON STANDS MAY 15

Quite a ride

Now playiNg

5

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

The Train Driver Athol Fugard’s The Train Driver is a powerful play that explores white guilt and the legacies of South African apartheid through the trauby Jim Carnes matic consequences of one black woman’s act of hopelessness on one white man’s psychological well-being. Inspired by an actual event which was even more disturbing, and written with compassion and understanding, The Train Driver is nevertheless devastating.

It is a two-man, one-act play that runs about 90 minutes, condensing much yet repeating much in a way that doesn’t always best serve the story. But the intensity of the performances, and the full investment of the actors in their personas elevates the experience.

5

PhoTo CourTeSy oF CelebrATion ArTS

The Train Driver, 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday, Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; $8-$15. Celebration Arts Theatre, 4469 D Street; (916) 455-2787; www.celebration arts.net.

Through April 13.

4000 Miles

It’s the end of the road for 20-something slacker Leo when he arrives at his grandmother’s New York apartment at 3 in the morning.

Or so you might think.

His extreme road trip results in some serious lessons about home and family in Amy Herzog’s 4000 Miles, as Leo (Teddy Spencer) and his grandma Vera (Dee Maaske) try to figure out how to move forward with their lives. At moments funny, slightly vulgar and heart-wrenching, we learn that Leo’s been through a great deal, including the death of his traveling companion and best friend. We also learn that the family’s dynamics are more than a bit dysfunctional, and that the new, laid-back, slightly left politics of the millennial generation aren’t up to the ideological snuff of 20th-century Reds—although they do allow for some bonding over bohemian sexual mores and controlled substances.

There’s a gleeful willingness to blend comedy with drama in 4000 Miles that results in a very contemporary realism.

Elizabeth Holzman is quite good as Leo’s estranged girlfriend, and she has particular chemistry with Maaske, giving the audience a good picture of the difference a couple of generations has made in women’s attitudes toward life and love.

But the real scene-stealing supporting performance comes from Sylvia Kwan as Amanda, a young woman Leo brings home after a night on the town. Her manic portrayal of a party girl with big ambitions is hilarious, but it also highlights how directionless Leo has become.

While the acting and production values are nothing short of stellar—and this play has got plenty of both multigenerational conflict and bonding, thanks to the chemistry between Spencer and Maaske—the play itself is vaguely dissatisfying. It is perhaps an intentional ambiguity meant to mimic the reality of life—this is a very realistic show—but it still left a sense that the play’s characters are “in the middle,” with only partial resolutions to the conflicts raised during the course of the show.

4000 Miles is a thoughtful play, bound to stir up conversations about intergenerational relationships and the meaning of life. It’s obviously aimed at a more mature audience, but one that can remember the frustrations and idealism of youth.

4

Cannery Row

City Theatre presents John Steinbeck’s classic.

This production is an admirably ambitious undertaking with some good performances and imaginative staging. There are times, however, when all the production elements seem to swallow up the story, and we lose the intimacy of this tale of a Depression-era seaside town and its memorable characters. F 8pm, Sa 2 & 8pm, Su 2pm. Through 3/23. $12-$15. City Theatre in the Main Auditorium, Performing Arts Center at Sacramento City College, 3835 Freeport Blvd.; (916) 558-2174; www.city theatre.net. P.R.

4

The Merry Wives

Big Idea Theatre brings Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor to a gold-rush town, with Jeffrey Lloyd Heatherly as a properly bombastic and

1 Foul

2 FAir

4

Romeo and Juliet

3

This production moves the setting to Prohibitionera New Jersey, but this tale of star-crossed lovers from rival dynasties remains funny in the bawdy first half, then tragic (as the bodies start piling up). Good chemistry between the young couple—it all happens so fast.

GooD

4

Th 12:30 & 6pm; F 8pm; Sa 2 & 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 3/23. $12-$31.

Well-Done

Sacramento Theatre Company at the Wells Fargo Pavilion, 1419 H St.; (916) 443-6722; www.sactheatre.org. J.H.

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4

SubliMe–Don’T MiSS

Wrong for Each Other

Melinda Parrett and Kurt Johnson star in Norm Foster’s heartwarming comedy about a couple who met, married, got divorced then meet by chance some years later and review some of the highs and lows of their relationship. The actors do a sterling job throughout this nowand-then adventure, shy and flirty upon first meeting, gradually becoming comfortably at ease and then on edge. Tu 6:30pm,

W 2 & 6pm; Th, F 8pm; Sa 5 & 9pm; Su 2pm. Through 4/13. $33-$35.

B Street Theatre, 2711 B St.; (916) 443-5300, www.bstreet theatre.org. J.C.

Short reviews by Jim Carnes, Jeff hudson, Kel Munger and Patti roberts.

PhoTo by KeiTh SuTTer

Roelf (Chris Lamb) is the train driver of the title, who is traumatized when his locomotive strikes a black woman carrying a baby when she steps in front of the oncoming train, intent on dying. Their eyes lock just before her body is sucked beneath the wheels of his train. He is haunted by her look, as well as by his helplessness in the situation. Now, “severely traumatized” and near to madness, he has left his wife and children to find the woman’s grave site and curse his dead tormentor.

Enter Simon (James Wheatley, who also directs) who tends the graveyard for “the nameless ones,” the unclaimed and unidentified. Simon is an old black man, maybe a little muddled, and unable to pick out the grave of a recently buried mother and child.

Roelf threatens to dig up every grave until he finds it, touching off a days-long dialoguecum-therapy session, during which Roelf comes to understand the woman in a way that makes her less a tormentor and almost a friend. As he begins to mend, the insanity of real life steps in to throw a curve. Ω

You know it’s a serious play when it’s set in a graveyard.

4

B Street Theatre’s Family Series is reviving its very successful comedy-mysteryadventure of the legendary deducing detective, his sidekick Dr. Watson and his nemesis Dr. Moriarty. Good choice, since the adaptation gives us everything you want in good children’s theater: engaging actors, fun characters, funny bits, suspenseful story, exotic locations (moors, parlors, pubs and underground Druid caves), clever scenery, beautiful costumes, and a production adults can fully engage in as well.

Plus, this looks like a well-oiled, happy-to-be-together team of actors that appears to be having as much fun as the audience. Sa, Su 1 & 4 pm. Through 4/13. $15-$20.

B Street Theatre, Family Series Stage, 2711 B St.; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. P.R.

outrageously funny Falstaff.

Directed by Angelina LaBarre, the show takes advantage of Big Idea’s strong, collaborative ensemble for a streamlined, funny production with high values—including excellent costumes (Laura Kaya) and set (Alex Slater). Th, F, Sa 8pm. Through 3/29. $10-$16. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 960-3036; www.bigidea theatre.com. K.M.

This one’s part gymnastics, part dance and part classical music performance.

Epic, edgy and sexy There’s good news and bad news. First, the bad: The Sacramento Ballet’s production of Ron Cunningham’s The Great Gatsby will be postponed until next season. But (good news) from March 27, through March 30, Carmina Burana will take its place. It’s a spectacular epic, with a 100-voice chorus and full orchestra in the pit to perform Carl Orff’s often-sampled composition (perhaps most notably in “Hate Me Now,” a 1999 single released by rapper Nas, featuring Puff Daddy). Anyway, Orff’s classic score is paired with a powerful “edgy and sexy” performance from the ballet dancers, according to co-artistic director Cunningham. “The opening scene is awesome, with a double-decker of 15 men holding up a huge silver plate with the character of Fortuna dancing on top,” he told SN&R. Opening the show is George Balanchine’s Allegro Brillante. $19-$70, 7:30 p.m. Thursday, March 27, through Saturday, March 29; 2 p.m. Sunday, March 30. Community Center Theater, 1301 L Street; (916) 552-5800; www.sacballet.org.

—Kel Munger

4000 Miles, 7 p.m. Wednesday; 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday, Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; $22-$36. Capital Stage, 2215 J Street; (916) 995-5464; www.capstage.org.

Through April 13.

—Jonathan Mendick

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Guest relations The Grand Budapest Hotel Writer-director Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel is a rueful delight. Anderson’s admirers will love it, while those who resist his quirky by Jim Lane mix of deadpan precision and manic disorder must grant that it fits the story he tells here.

The roundabout way Anderson gets to his story (which he concocted with Hugo Guinness) tips us off that the story isn’t exactly the point.

The movie opens in the present, in a run-down city in the fictitious eastern European Republic of Zubrowka. A young woman lays flowers before a monument to someone identified only as “Author.”

4

REEL

REVIEWS. EVERY THURSDAY. YOU’RE WELCOME, FILM GEEKS.

“Grade: A-.

HILARIOUS!” – Owen Gleiberman,

“A

TOUR DE FORCE!” – Peter Travers,

★★★★ BRILLIANT AND FUNNY!” “

½

“Hang on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

– Richard Roeper,

“Bad Words is

FANTASTIC!”

– Joanna Robinson,

.com

LAUGHS and an equally big HEART.”

“Big

– Dave Karger,

“GREAT is the word! The FUNNIEST, SMARTEST, MOST ENTERTAINING

COMEDY in a very long time.

The entire cast is PERFECTION.” – Pete Hammond, Movieline

1 Poor

2 Fair

3 Good

4 Very Good

5 Exclusive Engagement Starts

Friday, March 21

Everywhere March 28

36 | SN&R | 03.20.14

SACRAMENTO NEWS & REVIEW

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT COUPONS ACCEPTED CHECK THEATER DIRECTORY OR CALL FOR SOUND INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES

excellent

Next, it’s 1985, and we see that nameless author (Tom Wilkinson) as he dictates a memoir.

His reminiscence takes us back further, to 1968.

The writer as a young man (Jude Law) vacations at the legendary Grand Budapest Hotel overlooking Zubrowka’s capital city. The once luxurious hotel is on its last legs. The threadbare lobby has tacky vending machines slouched against the walls. The writer dines nearly alone in a cavernous dining room amid dozens of empty tables.

Among the few guests is an elderly man who turns out to be the mysterious millionaire Zero Moustafa (F. Murray Abraham), the hotel’s owner. The concierge (Jason Schwartzman) tells the writer that Mr. Moustafa comes every year to the hotel, staying in a tiny, closet-size room on the top floor.

One day, Mr. Moustafa strikes up a conversation—an admirer of the writer’s work, he invites the younger man to join him for dinner. There he shares memories of the hotel back when he was a lowly but eager lobby boy (Tony Revolori).

Thus, Anderson, jumping by stages into the past like a time traveler, finally arrives at the heart of his story.

It’s 1932, midway between the World Wars, and the Grand Budapest is gleaming and resplendent, bristling with bellboys, chambermaids, waiters, bakers, chefs and aristocratic guests— all of them presided over by the concierge, Gustave H. (Ralph Fiennes).

No ordinary concierge, Gustave is master of all he surveys. No detail of operations is too trivial for his attention, and everything runs to his exacting (and always correct) specifications.

To Gustave, the guest is always right—and if any guest, male or female, requires sexual service … well, he’s a master of that, too.

One such guest is a wealthy, besotted octogenarian widow (Tilda Swinton, delightfully unrecognizable under pounds of aging makeup).

When she dies unexpectedly, leaving Gustave a coveted painting, he is swept into a battle with her greedy relatives (led by a comically vicious Adrien Brody and a viciously comic Willem Dafoe); Gustave is even framed for the old lady’s murder. Swept along with him is the young Zero Moustafa, whom Gustave has taken under his wing, and who idolizes him accordingly.

Among The Grand Budapest Hotel’s many pleasures is Ralph Fiennes’ flair for comedy, which (except for his turn in the dark gangster comedy In Bruges) has hardly been hinted at before. He’s very funny here, his martinet elegance and crisp commands becoming whimpers of incomprehension as the universe turns against him. Fiennes’ performance is a small but highly polished comic gem. It prompts thoughts of what he might do with Shakespeare’s Malvolio or anything by Noël Coward.

The movie overflows with endearing comic invention (and amusing star cameos), countered by an undercurrent of melancholy nostalgia, both for a lost (and possibly imaginary) past elegance, and for the movies Hollywood and Europe once made about it. Gustave clings to ideas of pre-World War I grace and refinement, even as another war looms. Soldiers in unspecific (but distinctly Nazi-like) uniforms intrude in Gustave’s world, and each time they meet he is less equipped to deal with them, ultimately with tragic (but mercifully off-screen) consequences.

The movie overflows with endearing comic invention (and amusing star cameos), countered by an undercurrent of melancholy nostalgia.

Tellingly, Anderson chooses never to return to the present, or even to 1985. He closes his movie in 1968, when the sad old hotel is at least still standing, and the glory days of Gustave H. are still alive in the wistful memories of the old Mr. Moustafa. We know the fate that awaits the Grand Budapest, but we can cling with Mr. Moustafa to what it once had. It’s a small but vital mercy in this funny, sad movie. Ω

by daniel barnes & JiM lane

1

3 Days to Kill

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

Although the revolting 3 Days to Kill is basically a revamp of French au-turd Luc Besson’s lousy 2013 film The Family, this movie is so awful it makes The Family seem good enough to have not been based on a Besson script. As supposedly directed by McG, 3 Days to Kill stars Kevin Costner as grizzled CIA killer-for-hire Ethan Renner. After learning he has inoperable cancer, Ethan reunites with his estranged wife and daughter, but a mysterious agent (Amber Heard, playing one of the most asinine characters in recent memory) lures him back with the promise of a life-saving cure.

Ethan’s ex-wife divorced him out of mortal fear, yet she immediately departs for a business trip the second he shows up, leaving her only daughter with this near-stranger and career murderer. “She’s a good mother,” growls Ethan.

Agree to disagree! D.B.

2

“ WES ANDERSON MAKES ‘ THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL’

5

“AS ENTERTAINING AS IT IS BEAUTIFUL. THERE’S AN ORIGINALITY TO ‘BUDAPEST ’ THAT’S ALL ITS OWN.”

Bad Words

1

Need for Speed

As the listless lead of this dim-witted video-game adaptation, Aaron Paul already seems decades removed from his days of winning awards for Breaking Bad. Here he plays street racer Tobey Marshall, who, after winning a street race, is wrongfully blamed for the death of his friend in a different street race, leaving only one way to clear his name— a street race! For some reason, director Scott Waugh (Act of Valor) and screenwriter George Gatins felt that this single-celled Fast and the Furious clone demanded a leisurely 130 minutes of hand-me-down characters and monosyllabic dialogue. There is an argument that this sort of cinematic twaddle “isn’t hurting anyone,” but then, illiteracy isn’t technically hurting anyone, either. If you find this sort of vroom-fetish nonsense irresistible, go ahead and turn off your brain, but just know that it may never turn back on. D.B.

In 2005, a team of Navy SEALs (Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster) drops into the Afghan mountains to ambush a high-level Taliban warlord—but are ambushed themselves, unable to call in air support or rescue. Based on a real operation, the movie has grueling scenes of combat, some of the most realistic and harrowing ever seen.

But writer-director Peter Berg and writer Patrick Robinson (adapting the memoir by Marcus Luttrell, the “lone survivor” of the title) never get around to establishing the characters as individuals. This makes the closing array of names rather confusing. Besides, the title is the ultimate spoiler, so there’s little suspense.

We know only one will survive, and since only Wahlberg is billed above the title … J.L.

NEWS

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Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Director Rob Minkoff and writer Craig Wright (with additional dialogue by Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon) demonstrate yet again—as if we needed more proof—the folly of turning six-minute cartoons into 92-minute features. The old “Peabody’s Improbable History” segments of The Bullwinkle Show had lousy animation but clever writing; the movie reverses the equation, and it’s not a fair trade.

In an apparent nod to animal-rights advocates, Sherman is promoted from Peabody’s “pet boy” to his “adopted son,” and that’s all Minkoff and Wright need to turn the movie into a maudlin wallow on the meaning of parenthood. Along the way, they cluck their tongues over that other family issue, school bullies. Ty Burrell and Max Charles provide the voices of Peabody and Sherman, and they’re all wrong. J.L.

Lone Survivor

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2

The Monuments Men

The U.S. Army’s Monuments, Fine Arts, and Archives Section, tasked during World War II with retrieving millions of artworks stolen by the Nazis, is somehow turned into a movie in praise of stars Matt Damon and George Clooney (the latter also directed and co-wrote with Grant Heslov, from Robert M. Edsel and Bret Witter’s book), making the section’s fine work look like a 1940s prequel to Ocean’s 11. It also reduces the 400 workers from 13 nations to a handful of Americans (John Goodman, Bill Murray, Bob Balaban) with a few token Europeans (Cate Blanchett, Hugh Bonneville, Jean Dujardin). False notes abound—words to a song that weren’t written until 1954, etc.—and, as usual, Clooney’s preening vanity gives him all the best lines. J.L.

The Lego Movie

BEFORE

PEOPLE Alynda Wheat

Muppets Most Wanted

The reunited Muppets set off on a world tour, never suspecting that their new manager (Ricky Gervais) is using the tour as cover for a crime spree masterminded by an escapee from a Russian gulag, “the world’s most dangerous frog”—a near-perfect double for Kermit. The movie opens with one of many clever songs by Bret McKenzie, “We’re Doing a Sequel,” frankly admitting that “the sequel’s never quite as good.” Happily, the movie belies that truism. It’s not only even better than 2011’s The Muppets, it’s the best Muppets movie since the first one in 1979. Nicholas Stoller and director James Bobin’s script is a riot of groan-and-guffaw jokes, and Bobin’s pacing is sprightly and joyous. Gervais, Tina Fey (as a gulag guard) and Ty Burrell (a French cop) head the customary all-star supporting cast. Pure fun. J.L.

Given the many cinematic atrocities that have been produced by Hasbro in recent years, it is completely understandable to approach The Lego Movie with a certain amount of suspicion and dread. However, this is as wildly imaginative and fun as any film you’re likely to see this year, even if it is based entirely on corporate synergy. Written and directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs), The Lego Movie concerns a lonely conformist (Chris Pratt, extremely personable) mistaken for a prophecy-fulfilling rebel savior. The film never takes its mumbo-jumbo seriously, opting instead to focus on giddily anarchic comedy, a childlike sense of visual invention, and a copyright-protected wet dream of supporting players. The only missteps are made in the third act, as that childlike wonder is literalized, and madness is sacrificed at the altar of lesson-learning. D.B.

2

LOS ANGELES TIMES Kenneth Turan

300: Rise of an Empire

A middle-aged man (Jason Bateman, who also directed, and smoothly) uses a loophole in the rules to enter a national spelling bee for junior-high students, and he advances easily up the tournament levels, making a mockery of the whole process, to the frustrated rage of students, parents and administrators— except for one youngster (Rohan Chand, very likable) who somehow wants to be his friend.

Andrew Dodge’s script is raunchy, profane and definitely not for kids. Bateman’s character is (mostly) bitter and unlikable. Still, the movie is funny in a quirky I-can’t-believe-he-just-didthat way, and unpredictable enough to pull us in despite ourselves. Kathryn Hahn is hilarious as Bateman’s neurotic novice lawyer, and old pros Allison Janney and Philip Baker Hall are along as the bee’s exasperated bigwigs. J.L.

4

A FOUR-STAR DELIGHT.”

Finally, the film we’ve been waiting for.

One of the best moments of unintentional hilarity in Noam Murro’s noisy and stupid 300: Rise of an Empire is almost a throwaway line. As an Athenian general surveys his chiseled and battle-worn troops, all of whom appear to have wandered out of a 1980s Bowflex commercial and into a gladiator-themed stag film, he remarks with a straight face, “Not bad for a bunch of farmers, poets and sculptors.” OK, so 300: Rise of an Empire isn’t exactly Double Indemnity in terms of snappy dialogue and complex characters, but that’s not the problem here. The problem is that in terms of being a hyperstylized, dreamily captivating, deliriously homophobic-homoerotic bit of action kink, it’s not exactly Zack Snyder’s original 300, either.

Only French actress Eva Green transcends the cartoonish mayhem, savoring every word of the dopey screenplay as though they were stuck between her teeth. D.B.

3

“A RAMBUNCTIOUS CAPER

BURSTING AT THE SEAMS WITH QUICK WIT, FAMOUS FACES, AND WES ANDERSON’S PATENTED AESTHETIC DELIGHTS.”

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F E AT U R E

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3

The Single Moms Club

4

Stalingrad

2

That Awkward Moment

“AN EXQUISITELY CALIBRATED, DEADPAN-COMIC

MINIATURE THAT EXPANDS IN THE MIND AND BECOMES RICHER AND MORE TRAGIC.” NEW YORK MAGAZINE David Edelstein

RALPH FIENNES F. MURRAY ABRAHAM MATHIEU AMALRIC ADRIEN BRODY WILLEM DAFOE JEFF GOLDBLUM HARVEY KEITEL JUDE LAW BILL MURRAY EDWARD NORTON SAOIRSE RONAN JASON SCHWARTZMAN LÉA SEYDOUX TILDA SWINTON TOM WILKINSON OWEN WILSON introducing TONY REVOLORI

Five divorced or never-married mothers from widely disparate backgrounds (Cocoa Brown, Zulay Henao, Nia Long, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Amy Smart) are thrown together when their respective children are disciplined by the private school they all attend. The moms form an ad hoc support group, bonding in ways that surprise them all. Writer-director Tyler Perry employs his standard mix of soap opera and sassy humor (the latter mostly from earth-mama Brown), but to smoother effect than usual. Perry’s knack for attracting good actors and (especially) actresses serves the movie well, and the movie is bathed in a glossy feel-good vibe thanks to Perry, the cast and cinematographer Alexander Gruszynski. J.L.

More than drawing inspiration from the cultural invasiveness of Hollywood’s bombast, Fedor Bondarchuk’s Russian IMAX epic Stalingrad wants to stand next to, and even surpass, their PG-13 thrills. It largely succeeds, even if the “Burn in hell, scum!” rhetoric occasionally makes Stalingrad feel like a Russian-language reboot of Nation’s Pride, the propaganda film-within-a-film from Inglourious Basterds. However, unlike the Americanproduced propaganda purveyed by Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich, Stalingrad smuggles a tender soul into the omnipresent CGI and Gladiator-style fight scenes. During World War II, a group of Russian scouts are sent across the Volga River to prepare for a counteroffensive against the Nazis. When the plan fails, the soldiers hide out in an apartment, where they befriend a pretty survivor named Katya.

Stalingrad is clearly stitched together from its more broad-shouldered influences, but it does offer solid action, serviceable drama, images of grisly awe and moments of sick humor. D.B.

Two single dudes (Zac Efron, Miles Teller) and their divorce-bound pal (Michael B. Jordan) swear off serious relationships with women—but each of them quickly backslides into what might develop into a real romance.

This flimsy update of Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost was written and directed by Tom Gormican, whose experience consists of only two pictures, including this one. Gormican shows aptitude, but apparently it’s more from paying attention in screenwriting class than from observing people in real life: His script is so arch and self-consciously clever that the jokes sound stale even as we hear them for the first time. Efron and Teller do what they can (Jordan is underused), but the women make a stronger impression: Imogen Poots as Efron’s match and (especially) Mackenzie Davis as Teller’s. J.L.

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

“ I FOUND MYSELF NOT ONLY

CHARMED AND TOUCHED BUT ALSO MOVED.

A WES ANDERSON MOVIE, AND HOORAY FOR THAT.” THE NEW YORK TIMES A.O. Scott

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS

START FRIDAY, MARCH 21

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What happened when the Kin hijacked this interview

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Listen up, this is a robbery

MARCH 25TH OPEN MIC NIGHT @ 7PM

It started off with a simple, casual question: “How has the tour been so far?”

And the interview was immediately co-opted. by Janelle Bitker Isaac Koren of the Kin, an up-and-coming gritpop trio based in New York, informed me that j a ne l l e b @ he would ask the questions from that moment ne w s re v i e w . c o m on. And though he didn’t ask more than a handful, he really didn’t answer any questions, either.

Instead, 40 minutes of unorthodox insanity ensued. There were laughs. Cringes. Nervous sweating.

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Catch the Kin at 7 p.m. on Friday, March 21, at Assembly, located at 1000 K Street. The cover is $12. Finish Ticket, Oh Honey and Stand Out State are also on the bill. Check out www.thekin.com for more about the band.

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different reasons for the move, and who really knows which one is accurate.

Isaac: “We were fleeing the law, and our mom was fleeing, too. It was a family exodus.”

Thorald: “Our mom had a midlife crisis and decided to go back to theater, to go to Broadway … and we trickled behind.”

Regardless of the reason, they formed the Kin, first as an acoustic duo and then as a band with rotating members. They released a few albums independently, eventually met Shakerleg in a subway station and signed with Interscope in 2011. Quickly, the Kin tread toward the cusp of stardom, scoring an opening spot on Pink’s international tour as well as a live performance on Conan O’Brien’s TBS talk show Conan.

“It’s something less PG-13 every year,” Thorald said. “There’s more swearing, more drums without sticks, more bleeding hands.”

Indeed, the brothers met Shakerleg and his wild, stickless style in the New York City underground, where the drummer spent 10 years playing for pennies. Now his hands are constantly throbbing, swollen, bandaged and, as he put it, “actually upset.”

“I was not as good at playing with sticks as I wanted to be,” Shakerleg said. “I thought if I wanted to make a living in the subway stations, if I wanted to get people to stop and pay attention, I had to do something different.”

Currently the band is headlining a two-month national tour. Later this year, it hopes to release its debut full-length with Interscope.

Isaac and his brother Thorald, vocalists and multi-instrumentalists from Australia, playfully talked over each other. Shakerleg, the stickless drummer—we’ll get to that later—with a thick Brooklyn accent, opted to move around the tour van, in and out of phone range. They were driving through Texas, presumably exhausted from a spontaneous musical robbery of Starbucks at 1 a.m. the night prior. We’ll get to that later, too.

The overarching theme was chaos.

“When are we gonna grow up?”

“Never date a musician.”

“This is so unprofessional—I swear we’re better in person.”

“We have no musical influences,” Isaac said, which would have been appreciated, had there been a question about musical influences.

As the time passed and we tumbled deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, the Kin’s steadfast silliness became more and more impressive. And it became more and more clear that the band will put on a memorable show at Assembly on Friday. The group is known for creative, high-energy live performances, and its Interscope Records debut, Get On It, is made up of five supercatchy, danceable synth-pop songs.

They linked up with legendary producer Tony Visconti (best known for his extensive work with David Bowie) to release the EP this past fall, and it has already gone gold in New Zealand.

Here’s some background: The Koren brothers transplanted from Adelaide, Australia, to the Big Apple in 2001. The brothers provided two

“ We have no musical influences.”

Isaac Koren The Kin In the meantime, the Kin will continue filling up free time with its notorious, previously mentioned “musical robberies.”

Essentially, the band runs into an unsuspecting place—a restaurant, a college lecture hall, a radio station, a police station in Indiana—with their arms in the air. “This is a musical robbery,” they announce, before proceeding into song, or before getting kicked out.

“Sometimes you see a place that just needs a good robbing,” Isaac continued. “You see a place, it’s quiet, and you go back in blazing.

People are scared, excited and upset all at the same time.”

Usually, the robberies are spontaneous ventures of the heart. But if the Kin was to prepare a musical heist, its target may or may not be the Capitol. Ω

Not so complicated after all Life in endless record-label negotiations: When Life in 24 Frames dropped a single on iTunes in May 2013, fans likely assumed it meant a new full-length album would soon follow.

Those assumptions were almost correct. The album, Bitter End, was completed last fall, and Life in 24 Frames has been waiting feverishly to release it.

But, of course, the music industry makes everything complicated. And the Sacramento indie band felt ready to enter the fray—to find a label, a publisher, a distribution deal and so forth. The band got offers, but none were too appealing, and frontman Kris Adams grew increasingly impatient.

So the band’s six members decided to release Bitter End on their own. For free.

“We thought the best bet to get it into the most homes and iPhones and ears was to just give it to everyone,” Adams said.

Anyone can email Adams at band@lifein24frames.com, and he’ll send over a code to download Bitter End off the band’s website.

Or folks who come out to Life in 24 Frames’ next show—the band co-headlines Autumn Sky’s EP release at Assembly Music Hall next Saturday, March 29—can pick up cards with download codes for Bitter End as well as the band’s debut, Time Trails. On Tuesday, March 25, the band officially drops the record on iTunes, Amazon.com and Google Play. Consider the price tag a donation.

Bitter End’s nine tracks flow together effortlessly, and, clocking in at just under 40 minutes, they’re ripe for repetition. The title track—and the single released last spring—wellrepresents the rest of the record. It’s catchy, simple and lovely, punctuated by warm harmonies. “Poor Rich Man” and “Angels” are other favorites.

Adams is deservedly proud of the record, but he’s ready to get into the studio and start recording the next one this summer. Despite the frustrations, Adams isn’t firm on staying independent—excellent news for the Pacific Northwest’s indie record labels, who hopefully won’t mess up twice.

party at Beatnik Studios was packed with seniors having a grand old time.

Though the audience and their hairstyles—bright-orange dye, ’80s perms, mullets—were already entertaining, the Magnolia Sisters were the day’s true stars. The Grammy Award-nominated group worked its way through Cajun-style originals and classics, utilizing fiddle, accordion, concertina and rubberboard.

A high-energy dance party ensued, but it quickly morphed into a long line for gumbo. It’s tough to compete with gumbo, especially when it smelled as delightful as L. DelVonne Moore’s crab-packed concoction.

The afternoon served as a precursor to the Isleton Cajun & Blues Festival from June 14-15. And while I can’t speak to the gumbo lineup yet, the music lineup was announced—Marcia Ball, Steve Riley & the Mamou Playboys, Nathan & The Zydeco Cha-Chas, and JD McPherson are among the headliners. Start your planning: http://isletoncajunfestival.net.

—Janelle Bitker

jan el l eb @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

Spellbound: The building that formerly housed Bows & Arrows, the Midtown cafe/boutique/gallery/venue, will officially open for business this Tuesday, March 25, in its new incarnation, Witch Room (1815 19th Street). (Bows & Arrows, by the way, has re-emerged as a pop-up boutique located inside Flywheel at 545 L Street, Suite 1047.

It will reopen in a permanent location later this summer.) The spot, billed as a music and dance venue, is operated by former Bows co-owner Olivia Coelho, along with Liz Mahoney, who previously helmed Fools Foundation, and Liz Liles, an artist-musician also known for throwing epic house shows. The venue’s first show features Wax Idols, Wreck and Reference, and Hollow Sunshine. The show starts at 8 p.m.

Witch Room will serve beer (quality local brews as well the good, cheap stuff in a can) and wine, as well as bar snacks. As of last week, the venue was still undergoing transformation, but, trust me, it looks promising. In addition to a decent-sized bona fide stage and professional lighting and sound, there are also comfy vintage leather booths, ample room to get your dance on, and a photo booth to document the fun. Best of all, the room still opens up to the welcoming, plantenveloped back patio. Just in time for all this lovely warm weather. Visit www.witchroomsac.com for all the pertinent details.

Mini Cajun fest: I’m a big fan of Sunday-afternoon concerts. You dance to your heart’s content, eat dinner at a decent hour and immediately pass out.

Perfect.

Understandably, that prospect probably sounds excellent to folks 40 years older than me. And sure enough, last Sunday’s Cajun afternoon dance BEFORE

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20THURS

21FRI

22SAT

22SAT

The Wailers

Mýa

Brubeck Institute Jazz Quintet

Broken Voice Club

Ace of Spades, 6:30 p.m., $22.50

Nex Downtown, 10 p.m., $20-$40

The Wailers originally consisted of musicians Bob Marley, Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer.

Later, the band blossomed into a renowned REGGAE musical group with dozens of rotating members. Founding members Tosh and Wailer left. Marley toured with support from the Wailers. Recently, the Jamaican reggae act has resurfaced on the festival circuit and will perform at Virgin Media’s V Festival in August in England.

This week, the renowned group stops by Sacramento to perform the Bob Marley & the Wailers compilation album Legend in its entirety. With more than 25 million copies sold internationally, the album’s hits such as “Get Up Stand Up,” “Buffalo Soldier” and “Redemption Song” still frequent radio waves. 1417 R Street, www.wailers.com.

Mýa Marie Harrison, who goes by just Mýa, has recorded six albums of pop-tinged R&B during the last 16 years. She’s also dabbled in modeling, television (she was a runner up on season nine of Dancing With the Stars) and film (Chicago, Cursed). Mýa’s eponymous 1998 debut and her second album, 2000’s Fear of Flying, both earned platinum status.

But two of her biggest hits were collaborative singles from film soundtracks: “Take Me There” with Blackstreet, Mase and Blinky Blink from The Rugrats Movie (1998); and R&B/POP “Lady Marmalade” with Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim and Pink from Moulin Rouge! (2001). The latter earned her a Grammy Award.

805 15th Street, www.myamya.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

Shine, 8 p.m., $5

Sacramento Fine Arts Center, 7 p.m., $20 Six regional poets—including Pablo Neruda translator William O’Daly, Mary Zeppa and Soft Offs frontwoman Laura Martin—teamed up with members of the Brubeck Institute Jazz Quintet for an evening of poetry and jazz.

JAZZ/POETRY Using pieces from the Sacramento Fine Arts Center’s recent Animal House exhibition as a springboard, poets and musicians collaborated to create new compositions. The current BIJQ is Max Boiko (trumpet), Joel Ross (vibraphone), Sean Britt (guitar), Sarah Kuo (bass) and Jalon D’Mere Archie (drums). Rounding out the evening are notable poets John Allen Cann and Lawrence E. Dinkins Jr. 5330B Gibbons Drive in Carmichael, www.sacfinearts.org.

—Steph Rodriguez

Would it be a stretch to call Broken Voice Club a local supergroup? It boasts members from the Kelps, Honyock and Buffalo Buffalo. Really, they’re all just good friends that got together in 2012 with the objective of having a good time—and ended up recording an album. The album is fun and has elements of its members’ other bands (blues, roots, folk, psychedelia, art rock), but given the casual nature of the project, it’s less refined than their “serious” musical projects—which led to some interestingly playful and experimental results. The ROCK group doesn’t play often, so this is a rare opportunity to see it in action. 1400 E Street, www.facebook.com/ brokenvoiceclub.

—Aaron Carnes

—Trina L. Drotar

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com - March 22 -

MUSTACHE HARBOR

- March 20 -

RED GRANT COMEDY SHOW

9pm • $12

8:30pm • $20

WEEKEND

TOMMY CASTRO AND THE PAINKILLERS

TOUBAB KREWE

- March 27 -

JUSTIN FARREN

5:30pm • $7adv

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(All Female Led Zepplin Tribute) 7pm • $18adv

TRAVIS GARLAND

THE KELPS • SAID THE SHOTGUN

- March 26 -

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THE OLD SCREEN DOOR

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AWKWARD LEMON

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CITIES AVIV

7pm • $20adv

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JASMINE NICHOL

- March 23 -

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TYRONE WELLS HANS!

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Leagues Megan Nicole Rome (of Sublime with Rome) Super Huey Hip Service The Colourist White Lies Chickapalooza Zoso Marsha Ambrosius Cream of Clapton Trentino Matt Anderson David Wilcox Toad the Wet Sprocket Asleep at the Wheel Tycho Skid Row Dustbowl Revival Tab Benoit The Cave Singers Pimps of Joytime

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22SAT

23SUN

24MON

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Cruel Summer

Lost in the Trees

Bun B

Wax Idols

Luigi’s Fun Garden, 8:30 p.m., $5

Third Space, 7 p.m., $10

Those nostalgic for ’90s-era fuzzy guitar licks will want to unpack their Doc Martens and ditsy floral dresses for a night out with Cruel Summer. The San Francisco band crafts dreamy shoegaze pop that blends the twee sweetness of bands like Tiger Trap and Heavenly, with aggressively hummable My Bloody Valentine-styled melodies. Cruel Summer performs with Dissolve, another S.F. pop band, and Sad Numbers. The latter features former members of myriad old-school local pop groups, including the POP Rosebuds, Trace and Rocketship.

Those of you old enough to see those bands the first time around, listen up: This is one show definitely worth the cost of a baby sitter. 1050 20th Street www.facebook.com/cruelsummersf.

Ace of Spades, 8 p.m., $23-$50

If Past Life, the just-released album from baroque folk-pop group Lost in the Trees, is any indication, vocalist and songwriter Ari BAROQUE POP Picker has reached catharsis and is off to a new life stage. More minimalist than the band’s previous releases, the record functions as a departure from Picker as he lets go of his deeply introspective self for a bit and looks outside himself for whatever draws his attention. The piano and harp combination on “Glass Harp” mixes well with Picker’s not-quite-falsetto; “Sun” is a supremely chilled pop number; and a subtle beat machine and echoing piano on “Lady in White” will give you chills. 946 Olive Street in Davis, www.lostinthetrees.com.

—Brian Palmer

Witch Room, 8 p.m., $8

Bun B is a Dirty South godfather, along with late Underground Kingz—a.k.a. UGK—coconspirator Pimp C. His muscular flow nicely contrasted partner Pimp C’s jerky side-winding style. Bun B struck out on his own while his buddy was incarcerated, outdoing UGK and topping the Billboard rap charts with 2005’s Trill. His follow-up, 2008’s II Trill, reached No. 2 on the Billboard 200 chart. The 41-year-old Houston rapper’s subsequent two albums HIP-HOP weren’t their equal commercially or creatively. But the formula’s familiarity—braggadocio (“Gladiator”), soul-tinged bangers (“Fire”) and codeine-soaked low-riders (“Triller”)— balanced by hard rhymes and gritty presence, still demands respect. 1417 R Street, www.facebook.com/bunbofugk.

—Rachel Leibrock

The recent departure of Bows & Arrows as a music venue left a sad hole in Midtown’s livemusic scene, but luckily, the space will continue to showcase local and touring bands. Tuesday marks the soft opening for Witch Room, which POST-PUNK will be an 18-and-over venue serving craft beer and bar grub, and the lineup is packed. There’s two-piece metal band Wreck and Reference, noise popsters Hollow Sunshine, Sacto shoegazers Darlingchemicalia, and local noise-punk outfit So Stressed. Then there’s headliner Wax Idols. The Oakland-based female-fronted band plays a melodious post-punk that’s dramatic and nostalgic. Celebrate the renewal with a grainy throwback to the early ’80s, Joan Jett-esque vocals and all. 1815 19th Street, www.waxidols.tumblr.com.

—Chris Parker

—Janelle Bitker

thu 03/20

dj oasis, inkdup

kally o’mally, shake before us 9pm // $5

MONDAY

TRIVIA @ 6:30PM

Fri 03/21

you front band the live karaoke 9pm // Free

TUESDAY

sat 03/22

OPEN MIC

TACO TUES $1 TACOS, $2 CORONAS, 2–8PM WEDNESDAY

gator nation the family bandits

zydeco, new orleans r&b // 9pm // $12 ($10adv)

showcase sunday open mic 9-12am // Free

THURSDAY

KARAOKE @ 7:30PM

3rd Friday Reggae

comedy 7-9pm // talent

OPEN FOR LUNCH & DINNER 7 DAYS A WEEK

Friday, 3/21 - 6:30pm-10:30pm

mon 03/24

karaoke 8pm // Free

DOORS OPEN AT 11:30

RIFF RAFF A High Voltage Tribute to AC/DC

tues 03/25

oogee wawa

greatest stories every told grateFul dead/jerry garcia/bob dylan revue // 8pm // $5 wed 03/26

nine past nine malia kaye 9pm // $5

LIVE MUSIC

Saturday, 3/22 - 2pm-7pm

MAR 21 THE SOUL SHINE BAND

WINGNUT ADAMS Sunday, 3/23 - 2pm-6pm

MAR 22 DELTA CITY RAMBLERS MAR 23 VAGABOND BROTHERS “UNPLUGGED” 2-5PM MAR 28 THE ISLAND OF BLACK & WHITE

UPcOMING sHOWs:

03/28 long time - boston tribute // classic

MAR 29 JRAS BAND + MASSIVE DELICIOUS

rock

908 K Street • sac 916.446.4361 wwwMarilynsOnK.com BEFORE

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NEWS

FACEBOOK.COM/BAR101ROSEVILLE 101 MAIN STREET, ROSEVILLE • 916-774-0505

|

F E AT U R E

STORY

| A R T S & C U L T U R E

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AFTER

rockstar thursdays

Dj pumping all the hottest dance mixes

EvEry friday ~ 9pm $10 covEr aftEr 10pm 18 and up - id rEquirEd

SIGN-UPS AT 7:30PM

PATO BANTON

sun 03/23

EvEry thursday ~ 9pm $5 covEr BEforE 10:30pm 18 and up - id rEquirEd drEss codE EnforcEd

ELEvatE friday

dj supe in the mix playing top 40 hits and interactive videos

sat 3/22 ~ 9pm ~ $10

midnight pLayErs

r&B, old school & funk from the 60’s to 2000’s

sat 3/29 ~ $10 covEr aftEr 11pm

v101 night with dj supE

watch march madnEss hErE 11 hd flat screens and our hugE projector screens!

3443 Laguna BLvd • ELk grovE facEBook.com/pinsnstrikEs pinsnstrikEs.com • 916.226.2695

| 03.20.14

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NIGHTBEAT

THURSDAY 3/20

FRIDAY 3/21

SATURDAY 3/22

SUNDAY 3/23

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/24-3/26

THE KIN, FINISH TICKET, OH HONEY, STAND OUT STATE; 7pm, $12

KUMANDAE, 9pm, $20

ALESANA, GET SCARED, FAREWELL MY LOVE, HEARTS & HANDS; 6pm, $13

BEING AS AN OCEAN, M, $12; BLACK LIPS, Tu, $15; CARNIFEX, 6pm W, $13

Karaoke, 7:30pm, no cover

SOUL SHINE, 9:30pm, $5

DELTA CITY RAMBLERS, 9:30pm, $5

VAGABOND BROTHERS, 2-5pm, no cover

Trivia, 6:30pm M, no cover; Open-mic, 7:30pm W, no cover

BLUE LAMP

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

FONTAINE CLASSIC, MATMOG, RGB; 8pm, $6

Live Wire Hip-Hop Showcase, 8pm, $10

NED & THE DIRT, WINGNUT ADAMS, LEO BOOTES; 8pm, call for cover

Get Down to the Champion Sound reggae night, 9pm-2am, $3

Acoustic open mic, 8pm M, no cover; Naughty Trivia, 8pm W, no cover

THE BOARDWALK

RELOAD, CONCEIVED IN CHAOS; 8pm,

LIL’ DEBBIE, 8pm, $17-$20

D-LO, 8pm, $17-$20

CHERNOBOG, FOR ALL I’VE DONE, SOLOW, MIND FURNACE; 2pm, $10

BILL MAGEE BLUES BAND, JAMAL WALKER BAND; 8pm, $5-$10

DAVID BROMBERG, JILL COHN; 8pm, $30-$35

JACKIE GREENE BAND, 7:30pm, $30-$35

ASSEMBLY MUSIC HALL 1000 K St., (916) 832-4751

List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

BAR 101

101 Main St., Roseville; (916) 774-0505

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 call for cover

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384

DIVE BAR

1022 K St., (916) 737-5999

Deuling Pianos, 9pm, no cover

FACES

STELLA PARTON, 11:30pm, call for cover

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Dragalicious, 9pm, $5

Queer Idol, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5; DJ Alazzawi, 9pm W, $3

THE MIKE JUSTIS BAND, 8pm, no cover

MIKE BLANCHARD & THE CALIFORNIOS, ITEM 9, LOST ROOTS, RELION; 9pm, $5 WEST NILE RAMBLERS; 9pm, $6

G STREET WUNDERBAR

TOTAL RECALL, 11pm, no cover

STATE TO STATE, THE LURK; 10pm, no cover

ELEMENT BRASS BAND, SWOON, DANK OCEAN; 9:30pm, no cover

NUNCHUCK TAYLOR, 9pm-midnight, $5

APPLE Z, 9pm-midnight, $5

Trivia night, 7:30-9pm Tu, no cover

GIANNA BIAGI, ODAME, JUSTIN FARREN; WEEKEND, CITIES AVIV; 8pm, $10-$12 6pm, $10; MUSTACHE HARBOR, 10pm, $12

TOUBAB KREWE, MARK SEXTON BAND; 8pm W, $12.50-$15

228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

HALFTIME BAR & GRILL

5681 Lonetree Blvd., Rocklin; (916) 626-6366

Hey local bands!

MAC RUSS, SEAN FLEMING; 9pm Tu, call for cover

FOX & GOOSE

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

VOKAB KOMPANY, 9pm, no cover

Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; Northern Soul, 8pm W, no cover

HARLOW’S

RED GRANT, 9pm, $20

TOMMY CASTRO & THE PAINKILLERS, 8pm, $20-$25

LEVEL UP FOOD & LOUNGE

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

DJ Rock Bottom and The Mookie DJ, 9pm, no cover

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

AZUL, SPACE CRAFTER, MARTIN PURTILL; 8pm, $5

DAVID LYNCH, ALICYN YAFFEE, ROSS HAMMOND; 8pm, $5

MARILYN’S ON K

SHAKE BEFORE US, KALLY O’MALLY, INKDUP; DJ Oasis, 9pm, $5

You Front The Band Live Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

GATOR NATION, THE FAMILY BANDITS; 9pm, $12

Showcase Sundays, 7pm, no cover

Karaoke, M; OOGEE WAWA, 8pm Tu, $5; NINE PAST NINE, MALIA KAYE; 9pm W, $5

Trance/Bass/EDM, 8pm-3am, $10

Gothic, industrial, EBM, ’80s, synthpop dancing, 9pm, $3 before 10pm; $5 after

Goth, darkwave, industrial, electronic deejay dancing, 9pm-3am, call for cover

Swing dancing, 7:30pm Tu; Salsa dancing, 7:30pm W, $5

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693 2431 J St., (916) 448-8768

1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931 908 K St., (916) 446-4361

MIDTOWN BARFLY

1119 21st St., (916) 549-2779

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN

Hip-hop and R&B deejay dancing, 9:16pm Tu, no cover Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M, $5-$20; Comedy night, 8pm W, $6

1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

JOSH JERUE, DANIEL CIOPER, FULL CIRCLE; 8:30pm, $3

JOSIAH GATHING, ELIJAH EGBERT, LUMOHS; 8:30pm, $5

TUQUE, CAPE AND CURTAIN, KARATE MOUNTAIN; 8:30pm, $5

Jazz, 8pm M ; MATT UNDERWOOD, JODY QUINE; 8:30pm W, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

Bluegrass Open Jam, 7:30pm, no cover

WILLIAM MYLAR, 5pm; IRON HEARTS, TIPSY HUSTLERS, SOUTHLOT; 9pm, $6

THE BYE BYE BLACKBIRDS, DESARIO; 9pm, $6

Karaoke w/ Sac City Entertainment, 9pm Tu, no cover; Open-mic, 9pm W, no cover

ON THE Y

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Trash Film Orgy’s Crazy Ass Spring Break Fundraiser 2, 9pm, $10

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504 670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

ACE OF sPADEs thurSday, March 20

Open-mic comedy, 9pm, no cover

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95814 www.aceofspadessac.com

All Ages Welcome!

wedneSday, March 26

THE wAiLERs performiNg “legeND” iN its eNtirety

MOONsHiNE bANDiTs & THE LACs

friday, March 21

Sunday, March 30

MEMPHis MAy FiRE the worD alive - a skylit Drive haNDs like houses - Beartooth

Dry couNty DriNkers - coloNel Jimmy & the Blackfish

REVEREND HORTON HEAT NekromaNtix - Deke DickersoN - iNfamous swaNks

Saturday, March 22

Monday, March 31

featuriNg memBers of the striNg cheese iNciDeNt

architects

EOTO Sunday, March 23

LACuNA COiL Monday, March 24

buN b & KiRKO bANgZ

bLuE OCTObER wedneSday, april 2

bEATs ANTiquE

friday, april 4

yONDER MOuNTAiN sTRiNg bAND the Brothers comatose

COMING

SOON

04/05 04/09 04/13 04/14 04/15 04/16 04/19 04/21 04/23 04/24 04/25 04/27 05/02 05/03 05/07 05/08 05/11 05/16 05/21 05/31 06/13 08/23

Tickets available at all Dimple Records Locations, The Beat Records, and Armadillo Records, or purchase by phone @ 916.443.9202

42

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SN&R

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03.20.14

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

Crosses Schoolboy Q Mogwai Three 6 Mafia / Da Mafia 6ix All Time Low Sevendust Jon Pardi The 1975 Pennywise The Dandy Warhols Drive-By Truckers Julieta Venegas Ty Dolla $ign Fallrise Suicidal Tendencies Chiodos Twenty One Pilots “One” Metallica Tribute Band Christina Perri Tech N9ne Mickey Avalon Y&T

THURSDAY 3/20 THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

FRIDAY 3/21

SATURDAY 3/22

BILL KIRCHEN, BOBBY BLACK, AUSTIN DELONE; 7pm, $20

13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825

PINE COVE TAVERN

502 29th St., (916) 446-3624

PINS N STRIKES

DJ Supe, 10pm, $10

MIDNIGHT PLAYERS, 9pm, $10

PJ’S ROADHOUSE

MOTORIZE, 9pm, $5

DJ Old Griff, 9pm, no cover

3443 Laguna Blvd., Elk Grove; (916) 226-2625 5461 Mother Lode, Placerville; (530) 626-0336

SUNDAY 3/23

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/24-3/26

I SCREAM ON SUNDAE, 9pm, no cover

Open-mic, 10pm-1am Tu, no cover; Battle of the Comedians, 10pm Tu, no cover

SHANA MORRISON & CALEDONIA, 8pm, $20

Ballroom dancing with Jim Truesdale, 6:30pm W, no cover

POWERHOUSE PUB

JOSHUA PAGE, 10pm, call for cover

JOY IN REPETITION, 10pm, call for cover

GUITAR MAC, 3pm, call for cover; SUPER HUEY, 10pm, call for cover

JERAMY NORRIS, 3pm, call for cover

Karaoke, 8pm Tu; SELF PROCLAIMED, THE HYBRID CREEPS; 8pm W, $5

THE PRESS CLUB

TRAVIS AND RAFTR, 9pm, no cover

Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5

Top 40 Night w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9pm, $5

Sunday Night Soul Party, 9pm, $5

KEVIN SECONDS, JOHN MORELAND; 8pm M, $5-$10; KILO KAPANEL, 6pm W, $11

SHADY LADY SALOON

AUSTIN QUATTELBAUM, 9pm, no cover

CRESCENT KATZ, 9pm, no cover

HUMBLE WOLF, 9pm, no cover

DOUBLE P REVIEW, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Shaun Slaughter, 9pm Tu, call for cover; JAZZ GITAN, 9pm W, no cover

614 Sutter St., Folsom; (916) 355-8586 2030 P St., (916) 444-7914 1409 R St., (916) 231-9121

SOL COLLECTIVE

KEITH GRAY & THE LISTEN NOW, KIPPIS, THE PEGASUS STARSHIP ARMADA; 6pm

2574 21st St., (916) 832-0916

Microphone Mondays, 6pm M, $1-$2

STARLITE LOUNGE

‘80s night with DJ Bryan Hawk, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Shaun Slaughter, 9pm, call for cover

STONEY INN/ROCKIN’ RODEO

BUCK FORD PURE COUNTRY BAND, 9pm, no cover

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover, $5 after 8pm

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover, $5 after 8pm

Country dance party, 8pm, no cover

PATO BANTON, 8pm, $15

RIFF RAFF, CATS BARKING; 2pm, $5

WINGNUT ADAMS, 2pm, call for cover

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30-7:30pm, no cover; JOY & MADNESS, 9pm, $10

JOHNNY KNOX, 5:30pm, no cover; Blues jam, 4pm, no cover; FAILURE SIOUX CITY KID, STEVEN ROTH; 9pm, $8 MACHINE, THE THREE WAY; 8pm

1517 21st St., (916) 706-0052 1320 Del Paso Blvd., (916) 927-6023

SWABBIES

5871 Garden Hwy, (916) 920-8088

TORCH CLUB

X TRIO, 5pm, no cover; RED’S BLUES, JIM MONROE; 9pm, $5

904 15th St., (916) 443-2797

Element Brass Band with Swoon and Dank Ocean 9:30pm Saturday, no cover.

G Street Wunderbar Second line

WRECK AND REFERENCE, SO STRESSED, HOLLOW SUNSHINE; 9pm Tu, call for cover Comedy open-mic, 8pm M; Bluebird Lounge open-mic, 5pm Tu, no cover

ISLAND OF BLACK & WHITE, 9pm Tu, $5; MERLE JAGGER, 9pm W, $5

All ages, all the time ACE OF SPADES

THE WAILERS, 6:30pm, $22.50

1417 R St., (916) 448-3300

BEATNIK STUDIOS

MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, THE WORD ALIVE, A SKYLIT DRIVE; 5:30pm, $17.50

EOTO, 7:30pm, $20

LACUNA COIL, KYNG, EVE TO ADAM, NOTHING MORE; 6:30pm, $18

Lil’ Debbie 8pm Friday, $17-$20.

The Boardwalk Rap

BUN B, KIRKO BANGZ; 7pm M, $23-$50; MOONSHINE BANDITS, 6:30pm W, $15

ALADRIAN ELMORE, RICK LOTTER, EDDIE MENDENHALL; 7pm, call for cover

723 S St., (916) 443-5808

CLUB RETRO

Electric Friday deejay dancing, 8pm, $5-$10

LUIGI’S SLICE AND FUN GARDEN

THE SHELL CORPORATION, THE COMMUNITY, SUPPORT THE RABID; 8pm, $6

1529 Eureka Rd., Roseville; (916) 988-6606 1050 20th St., (916) 552-0317

SHINE

INSTAGON, TAO JIRIKI, CAT AND MOUSE; THE BADDEST BEAMS, 8pm, $5 WILL SHAMBERGER; 8pm, $5

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

CRUEL SUMMER, MOONBEAMS, SAD NUMBERS; 8pm, $5

PETS, DAYDREAM MACHINE; 8pm M; SUN VALLEY GUN CLUB, 8pm Tu, $5

BROKEN VOICE CLUB, BUFFALO! BUFFALO!, WIVING; 8pm, $5

Open jazz jam, 8pm Tu; Poetry with Bill Gainer, 7pm W, call for cover

1000 K Street, Sacramento, CA 95814

FOR TICkeTS TO aLL SHOWS VISIT assemblymusicHall.com

For Rentals or Private Parties please contact AssemblyMusicHall@gmail.com

sat Mar 22 @ 9pM

fri Mar 21 @ 7pM

Finish ticket - oh honey - stand out state

kumandae mouth peace

sun Mar 23 @ 6pM

Mon Mar 24 @ 6:30pM

Upcoming ShowS

tue Mar 25 @ 7pM

wed Mar 26 @ 6pM

the coathangers

BEFORE

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NEWS

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FEATURE STORY

|

mar 29 apr 04 apr 05 apr 06 apr 08 apr 09 apr 11 apr 12 apr 18 apr 19 apr 23 apr 25 apr 26 apr 27 may 02 may 05 may 08 may 09 may 23

thu Mar 27 @ 6:30pM

A RT S & C U LT U R E

|

AFTER

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autumn sky / life in 24 frames barcelona Headbang for tHe Hwy cunninlynguists zz ward bear Hands bombay bicycle club Jamies elsewHere dance gavin dance tHe siren sHow tHrougH tHe roots drop city yacHt club arden park roots beware of darkness fortune youtH gza will Hoge tig notaro tHe green

03.20.14

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SN&R

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SN&R | 03.20.14

HORIZON NON-PROFIT COLLECTIVE 3600 Power Inn Rd Suite 1A Sacramento, CA 95826 916.455.1931

Reverse course Now that weed is legal is Colorado, will they let people out of jail?

—X. Khan Not so much, but a little. Just last week, the Colorado Court of Appeals said people whose cases were under appeal when Amendment 64 took effect in December 2012 are eligible to have their convictions reversed. So, if you got arrested in Colorado for possessing less than an ounce of marijuana sometime in 2012, you could appeal your sentence. Although, if you had less than EALUM B IO A G an ounce, you are probably out of jail by now.

N by However, we should probably discuss letting people out of jail for nonviolent marijuana offenses.

Here’s my question: Why not? Why not let people a s k420@ ne wsreview.c om out of jail? It would save money (Colorado spends about $20,000 per prisoner per year), and it would right a wrong (no one should go to jail for marijuana— ’13 ever). This would be a win-win.

In California, the California Cannabis Hemp Initiative contains language that would release marijuana users from jail, however, the CCHI is most likely not going to make the ballot.

How about in 2016? I talked to Amanda Reiman, the California policy director at the Drug Policy Alliance (the DPA is gathering steam for a huge legalization campaign in 2016), and she said this: “Possibly. It’s something we’ll have to poll on as we get closer. Another option other than putting We should probably it in the initiative is to run criminal justice discuss letting abillparallel that does that.” I think people out of she has the right idea. The problem with saying you are jail for nonviolent going to let people out of marijuana offenses. jail is that the Law & Order types get all hissified about being “soft on crime,” and it would make a legalization initiative almost too easy to campaign against. But two different bills just might get it done. Plan ahead, you guys: 2016 will be here sooner than you think.

Your answer’s a year old. D’oh! Gov. Jerry Brown signed last year’s version of Mark Leno’s Senate Bill 566, which we understand will go into effect when the attorney general determines that its regulatory structure (premised around counties’ agriculture departments) is consistent with the federal guidelines in the 2013 Cole memo. The regulation’s been slowly working its way through Kamala Harris’ Legal Opinion Unit since October.

The federal farm bill helps move it forward, but there are still some issues.

—Sean Donahoe, deputy director of the California Cannabis Industry Association Oops. You are correct. Brown did indeed sign the Industrial Hemp Bill. Thanks for the update. Let’s hope the A.G.’s office moves quickly to get this program implemented. Like state Sen. Mark Leno said: “It would be insult to injury and a double-whammy of the ridiculous if this non-drug variety of cannabis ran into obstacles. Now that the federal government is setting marijuana free, how could it possibly continue to hold industrial hemp hostage?” My thoughts exactly. Ω

Ngaio Bealum

is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert.

Email him questions at ask420@ newsreview.com.

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FE EA AT TU UR RE E S ST TO OR RY Y | | A AR RT TS S& &C CU UL LT TU UR RE E | | A AF FT TE ER R | | 03.20.14 03.20.14 F

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check out our high cbd strains & sale shelf

we’ve moved directly behind old location!

2416 17th street 916.231.9934 sacramento, ca 95818 | 9am-9pm daily

35 top shelf 1/8ths

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8125 36th ave, Sacramento 916-386-9841 Open 10a-7p, 7 days a week *Cannot be combined with other offers.

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winter special

10 top shelf grams

$ Our staff is educated, experienced & knowledgeable

new patients receive a free half gram of hash or pre–roll with min donation

Our medicine is lab tested for cannabinoid levels & contaminants like mold, mildew, bugs & pesticides for your safety

sunday special: 4g 1/8ths (one per patient) new premium top shelf edibles of all kinds 25 1/8ths select strains | meds for every budget

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1030 Joellis way, sac

r

Arden Mall

*Doctor’s recommendation & CA I.D. required

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F E AT U R E

STORY

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monday–saturday 10am–8pm sunday 10am–6pm

80

Blu

me

Joellis Way

nfe ld D

NEW HOURS: 9am–9pm everyday BEFORE

916.646.6340

Arden Way

03.20.14

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Photo ID Available for $15

w/ couPoN exP. 03/26/14 SNR

New PatieNt

*of Equal or

Blvd om s l o F

Routier

- Cultivators Welcome ’13

’13

caNN-Medical

saturday

Buy 3 grams of Cannabis, get one frEE (of equal or lesser value)

sunday

Buy three 1/8ths get the fourth frEE

scan the qr Code to score a freebie from two rivers

tWo rivErs WEllnEss

315 north 10th strEEt saCramEnto 916.804.8975 tWorivErssaC.Com /tWo_rivErs

9719A Folsom Blvd. Sacramento, CA 916-822-5690 • www.cannmedical.org

FREE 1/8 s a t u R d a y

s p E c i a l

th

with any $40 min donation

thursday friday

’13

- Walk-Ins / Appts

WEdnEsday

10% off all concentrates (max: 3 grams)

frEE pre-roll with a $35 donation friday facebook trivia day for free meds, too

- Physician Evaluations - 24/7 Online Verification

tuEsday

Choose any special

Buy a top shelf 1/8th, get 50% off our 1/8th of the day

Sun 11am-5pm ’13

Bradshaw

*

EE s, gEt onE fr Buy 3 Eighth E lu va lEssEr

- Mon-Sat 10am-6pm

w/ couPoN exP. 03/26/14 ’13 SNR

’13

Free!

*

Buy any 2 edibles, get the 3rd 50% off

/tWorivErssaC opEn 7 days a WEEk 9am – 9pm

Simply the BeSt Winner 3 years in a row! ’13

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4020 Durock Rd, Ste 1 • Shingle Springs, CA • (916) 757–0980 open monDAy – fRiDAy 11Am–8pm, SAtuRDAy 11Am–7pm, SunDAy 11Am–6pm

48

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SN&R | 03.20.14

’13

’13

$

ReNeWAlS

Ve

buy any 2 edibles get 1 (free of equal or lesser value) all $50 1/8ths capped at $40 buy 3 top-shelf full melt for only $90 all bubble hash is only $15 per gram get a free joint with any $10 minimum donation

’13

- Sacramento News and Review Readers’ poll -

Cannot be combined with other offers. Strain determined by HHWC.

Great selection of quality concentrates

new patient specials!

munchiE mondays: top-shElF tuEsdays: waxy wEdnEsdays: hashtag thuRsday: FREE j FRiday:

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’13

BEFORE

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NEWS

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F E AT U R E

STORY

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C a p i ta l C a n n a b i s G u i d e

What is Capital Cannabis Guide?

Sacramento News & Review is committed to telling the medical marijuana story.

From patients who use cannabis to the business of dispensaries, this guide will show a side of the medical marijuana community that is seldom seen. Whether you are a patient or just interested in the therapeutic effects of cannabis, this section will introduce you to the people who have made medical marijuana their passion, the science behind cannabis treatment and the issues that shape access to this alternative therapy.

All content in this section is produced by the publications division of Sacramento News & Review and does not reflect the views of the editorial department.

DO YOU VAPE? GET YOUR JUICE, TANKS AND MORE AT VAPING IMAGE! Come to Vaping Image for all your electronic cigarette needs! They are always adding new flavors, mods and accessories to their shop, conveniently located on Power Inn Road right next to Squeeze Inn. $20 gift Cards for $14

SN&R

by M e r e d i t h J. G r a h a m

Marijuana as Medicine The healing qualities of cannabis

M

arijuana is currently legal for medicinal purposes in 20 states.

According to NORML, a nonprofit working for marijuana legal reform, more than 60 national and international organizations recognize its healing properties.

Among the most common health problems treated with medical cannabis are chronic pain, anxiety, multiple sclerosis (MS), cancer and insomnia.

That’s because the effects of cannabis are twofold — it stimulates appetite while dulling pain and calming the nervous system.

Cancer patients sometimes turn to medical marijuana when going through chemotherapy because it not only helps their nausea, but also increases their appetite. People with HIV/AIDS also use cannabis to eat more and gain weight.

Pain can come in many different packages — it can be simple but chronic, it can be relegated to one’s joints, and it can be caused by other health problems like MS or diabetes. Cannabis is known for its relaxing effect, which can help dull pain while also calming muscle spasms related to MS. Some chronic pain sufferers turn to medical marijuana as an alternative to prescription medications, which can be habit-forming.

“Medical marijuana as a chronic pain management tool can reduce patients’ pain and improve quality of life, without the same serious side effects associated

with use of some pharmaceutical pain relievers,” according to an article on the website medicalmarijuana.net.

In addition to increasing appetite and relieving pain, cannabis is also often prescribed for mood and sleep disorders, including anxiety and insomnia. The relaxing effect enjoyed by MS patients can also help one become more calm.

“ Medical marijuana as a chronic pain management tool can reduce patients’ pain and improve quality of life.” medicalmarijuana.net

Medical marijuana does have its side effects. For example, increased appetite might be beneficial for some people but cause others to eat too much. Likewise, too much relaxation can result in lack of motivation and sleepiness. Some people also experience paranoia.

“As with any medication, patients should consult thoroughly with their physician before deciding whether the medical use of cannabis is safe and appropriate,” NORML advises.

W W W. N E W S R E V I E W. C O M Capital Cannabis Guide coverage is sponsored by its advertisers.

This content was produced by the publications division of News & Review.

50

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SN&R | 03.20.14

Your Downtown Service Shop

SMOG CHECK

We offer complete automotive service & repairs

$

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00

OFF

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NEWS

|

FEATURE

STORY

Free

Table Shower

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Chinese Style Massage 7 days a week • 10 am to 9 pm

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All massage advertisers are required to provide News & Review a current valid business license or somatic establishment permit issued by either the city or county in which they are operating in in order to run a printed advertisement.

Use your smart phone QR reader for more specials

M-F 7:30 -5:30 Sat 8 -4 sacsmog.com Bring in any competitor’s smog check coupon and we will match it - plus give you an additional $5 OFF

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AFTER

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Massage Kea 2548 Cottage Way - Sacramento 916.568.6888 - 10am–10pm daily

03.20.14

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El Camino Ethan

15

98

2699

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EMISSIONS DIAGNOSTIC

SN&R

★ Cottage Way Arden Way Fulton

$

3175

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80

Lube, Oil & Filter

OIL

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$5 off admission with coupon

valid after 6pm. not valid with other discounts or specials.

MASSAGE THERAPISTS

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|

SN&R | 03.20.14

PROBLEMS with the IRS or State Taxes? Settle for a fraction of what you owe! Free face to face consultations with offices in your area.

Call 888-608-3016 Springboard Biodiesel is now selling fuel from their facility at 2323 Park Ave. in Chico. Farmers, companies and individuals interested in buying clean-burning, premium-grade fuel for use in ANY diesel engine are encouraged to contact Springboard directly at 530-894-1793 or sign up online at springboardbiodiesel.com/ buyers-club. Volumes for sale are 10, 55 or 275 gallons.

Prices will fluctuate but will be comparable to diesel.

Notice of caution to our Readers!

Whenever doing business by telephone or email proceed with caution when cash or credit is required in advance of services.

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52

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All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. Further, the News & Review specifically reserves the right to edit, decline or properly classify any ad. Errors will be rectified by re-publication upon notification. The N&R is not responsible for error after the first publication. The N&R assumes no financial liability for errors or omission of copy. In any event, liability shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error or omission. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

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lunch specials wed mar 26th – Sat march 29th

great food

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|

NEWS

|

FEATURE

N0 STAGE FEES 1 MONTH!!

STORY

Must present ad to receive discounts.

Discounts may be discontinued without prior notice.

SportS action on our Giant Screen tv

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|

ARTS&CULTURE

24/7 Friendly Customer Care 1(888) 634-2628 18+ ©2013 PC LLC

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Strawberry blonde 33 yr old, 5’6” 135 lbs, slender, caucasian, very pretty CMT. 4pm-10pm Incall/Outcall Bailey 916-910-8907 by appt. Mon-Fri

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E T VO W! NO W AT

.NE WW

WS

I REV

.CO EW

M

R & SN

BEST OF THE BURBS NOMINEES

NOMINEES CONTINUED FROM PAGE 34

BEST Of CARMIChAEl & fAIR OAkS BEST SuShI

Mikuni Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar Shige Sushi Shogun Sushi Silver Sake Sushimono Taka’s Sushi Yui Marlu

BEST ChINESE

Blue Sky Chinese Restaurant Genghis Khan Kitchen Green Jade Restaurant Orient Restaurant Szechuan Garden

BEST MExICAN/ lATIN

Adalberto’s Mexican Food Carmelita’s Restaurant El Palmar El Papagayo Restaurant El Pollo Feliz Miguels Real Mexican Food Rey Azteca Restaurant & Bar Urbano’s Fine Mexican Food

BEST SpOT fOR A COCkTAIl

The Blind Pig Carmelita’s Restaurant Cedar Room Luna Lounge Mighty Tavern Players Sports Pub & Grill San Juan Club Stirling Bridges Restaurant and Pub The Vent Bar

BEST plACE fOR A BEER

The Blind Pig Cedar Room Dad’s Kitchen Johnny’s Club 53 Luna Lounge Mighty Tavern Palm Street Pub & Grille San Juan Club Stirling Bridges Restaurant and Pub

BEST SpOT fOR fAMIly fuN

Ancil Hoffman Park Effie Yeaw Nature Center Fair Oaks Village Park Fliptastic!

River Rat Raft & Bike

BEST plACE TO gET yOuR hAIR lOOkIN’ gOOd

Estilo Salon Day Spa Hoshall’s Salon & Spa Siena Salon and Spa Textures Hair Design Village Salon

BEST yOgA SpOT

Aha Yoga Hot Yoga at Sunrise Lotus Garden Meditation Center Saha Yoga and Wellness Center

BEST Of ROSEVIllE, ROCklIN & gRANITE BAy BEST RESTAuRANT Anatolian Table Restaurant Baagan Early Toast Four Sisters Cafe Hawks Restaurant La Huaca Mehfil Indian Restaurant Mikuni Kaizen Ninja Sushi and Teriyaki Source

BEST BuRgER

Bunz Sports Pub & Grub Buckhorn Grill The Chef’s Table The Habit Burger Grill Hawks Restaurant Primo Pizza The Squeeze Inn

BEST BREAkfAST OR BRuNCh

Early Toast Four Sisters Cafe Grandma’s Kitchen The Original Pancake House Pacific Street Cafe Pegs Glorified Ham n Eggs Short Stuff Cafe Susie’s Country Oaks Cafe Venita Rhea’s Waffle Barn

BEST SuShI

Blue Nami Ichiban Sushi Izumi Sushi Kenro’s a Taste of Japan Mikuni Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar Ninja Sushi and Teriyaki Raku Sushi Sushi House Sushi Mon by Sky Yoko Sushi

See the complete list of nominees at www.newsreview.com 54

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SN&R | 03.20.14

BEST INdIAN

Bombay Bistro India Oven Mehfil Indian Restaurant Namaste Nepal Taj Oven Tandoori Nights

BEST SpOT fOR A COCkTAIl

Bar 101 The Boxing Donkey Irish Pub Crush 29 Mandango’s Sports Bar & Grill The Onyx Club Owl Club The Place Sports Page Restaurant and Bar The Station The Trocadero The Union

BEST SpOT fOR fAMIly fuN

Arena Softball Blue Oaks Century Theatres Century Roseville 14 Golfland Sunsplash John’s Incredible Pizza Company LaserCraze Maidu Regional Park Petroglyph Ceramic Lounge Roller King Skatetown Ice Arena Sky Zone Indoor Trampoline Park Strikes Unlimited

United Artist Olympus Pointe Stadium 12 Theater Wacky Tacky

BEST plACE TO gET yOuR hAIR lOOkIN’ gOOd

Avalon Day Spa & Salon Backstreet Salon Crushed VLVT Envy Salon The Garage Hair & Skin Lounge Gloss Salon Salon Hermosa Shades Hair Color Bar & Salon Sola Salon Stu dios Zimbali Salon and Spa

BEST ShOppINg dESTINATION

Antique Trove Deja Vu in a Dress Denio’s Farmer’s Market & Swap Meet Fountains at Roseville Freestyle Clothing Exchange Nice Twice Consignment Shop Reinvent Clothing Boutique & Consignment Sei Bella Boutique Trixie Boutique Uptown Clothing Company Westfield Galleria at Roseville YSJ Trading Co.

ISSUE ON STANDS MAY 15

by shOka

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “When you

plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up every day to see if they have sprouted yet,” says Buddhist nun Thubten Chodron. “You simply water them and clear away the weeds; you know that the seeds will grow in time.” That’s sound advice for you, Aries. You are almost ready to plant the metaphorical seeds that you will be cultivating in the coming months. Having faith should be a key element in your plans for them. You’ve got to find a way to shut down any tendencies you might have to be an impatient control freak. Your job is simply to give your seeds a good start and provide them with the persistent follow-up care they will need.

you, disillusionment,” says Alanis Morissette in her song “Thank U.” “Thank you, frailty,” she continues. “Thank you, nothingness. Thank you, silence.” I’d love to hear you express that kind of gratitude in the coming days, Taurus. Please understand that I don’t think you will be experiencing a lot of disillusionment, frailty, nothingness and silence. Not at all. What I do suspect is that you will be able to see, more clearly than ever before, how you have been helped and blessed by those states in the past. You will understand how creatively they motivated you to build strength, resourcefulness, willpower and inner beauty.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Born

under the sign of Scorpio, Neil Young has been making music professionally for more than 45 years. He has recorded more than 30 albums and is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In early 1969, three of his most famous songs popped out of his fertile imagination on the same day.

He was sick with the flu and running a 103-degree fever when he wrote “Cowgirl in the Sand,” “Cinnamon Girl” and “Down by the River.” I suspect you may soon experience a milder version of this mythic event, Scorpio. At a time when you’re not feeling your best, you could create a thing of beauty that will last a long time, or initiate a breakthrough that will send ripples far into the future.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

There should be nothing generic or normal or routine about this week, Sagittarius. If you drink beer, for example, you shouldn’t stick to your usual brew. You should track down and drink the hell out of exotic beers with brand names like Tactical Nuclear Penguin and Ninja Vs. Unicorn and Doctor Morton’s Clown Poison. And if you’re a lipstick user, you shouldn’t be content to use your old standard, but should instead opt for kinky types like Sapphire Glitter Bomb, Alien Moon Goddess and Cackling Black Witch. As for love, it wouldn’t make sense to seek out romantic adventures you’ve had a thousand times before. You need and deserve something like wild, sacred, eternal ecstasy; or screaming, sweaty, flagrant bliss; or blasphemously reverent waggling rapture.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I bet your

support system will soon be abuzz with fizzy mojo and good mischief. Your web of contacts is about to get deeper and feistier and prettier. Pounce, Gemini, pounce! Summon extra clarity and zest as you communicate your vision of what you want. Drum up alluring tricks to attract new allies and inspire your existing allies to assist you better. If all goes as I expect it to, business and pleasure will synergize better than they have in a long time. You will boost your ambitions by socializing, and you will sweeten your social life by plying your ambitions.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): During her

98 years on the planet, Barbara Cartland wrote 723 romance novels that together sold a billion copies. What was the secret of her success? Born under the sign of Cancer the crab, she knew how productive she could be if she was comfortable.

Many of her work sessions took place while she reclined on her favorite couch covered with a white fur rug, her feet warmed with a hot-water bottle. As her two dogs kept her company, she dictated her stories to her secretary. I hope her formula for success inspires you to expand and refine your own personal formula—and then apply it with zeal during the next eight weeks. What is the exact nature of the comforts that will best nourish your creativity?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Actor Gary Oldman was born and raised in London. In the course of his long career he has portrayed a wide range of characters who speak English with American, German and Russian accents. He has also lived in Los Angeles for years. When he signed on to play a British intelligent agent in the 2011 film Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, he realized that over the years, he had lost some of his native British accent. He had to take voice lessons to restore his original pronunciations. I suspect you have a metaphorically comparable project ahead of you, Capricorn. It may be time to get back to where you once belonged.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Every

now and then, you’re blessed with a small miracle that inspires you to see everyday things with new vision. Common objects and prosaic experiences get stripped of their habitual expectations, allowing them to become almost as enchanting to you as they were before numb familiarity set in. The beloved people you take for granted suddenly remind you of why you came to love them in the first place.

Boring acquaintances may reveal sides of themselves that are quite entertaining.

So are you ready and eager for just such an outbreak of curiosity and a surge of fun surprises? If you are, they will come. If you’re not, they won’t.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Google Ngram

Viewer is a tool that scans millions of books to map how frequently a particular word is used over the course of time. For instance, it reveals that “impossible” appears only half as often in books published in the 21st century as it did in books from the year 1900. What does this mean? That fantastic and hard-to-achieve prospects are less impossible than they used to be? I don’t know, but I can say this with confidence: If you begin fantastic and hard-to-achieve prospects sometime soon, they will be far less impossible than they used to be.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Tibetan

mastiff is a large canine species with long golden hair. If you had never seen a lion and were told that this dog was a lion, you might be fooled. And that’s exactly what a zoo in Luohe, China, did. It tried to pass off a hearty specimen of a Tibetan mastiff as an African lion. Alas, a few clever zoogoers saw through the charade when the beast started barking. Now I’ll ask you, Virgo: Is there anything comparable going on in your environment? Are you being asked to believe that a big dog is actually a lion, or the metaphorical equivalent?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In T.S.

Eliot’s poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” the narrator seems tormented about the power of his longing. “Do I dare to eat a peach?” he asks. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is the peach too sweet, too

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bRezsny

juicy, too pleasurable for him to handle? Is he in danger of losing his self-control and dignity if he succumbs to the temptation?

What’s behind his hesitation? In any case, Libra, don’t be like Prufrock in the coming weeks. Get your finicky doubts out of the way as you indulge your lust for life with extra vigor and vivacity. Hear what I’m saying? Refrain from agonizing about whether or not you should eat the peach.

Just go ahead and eat it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Thank

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Before she

died, Piscean actress Elizabeth Taylor enjoyed more than 79 years of life on this gorgeous, maddening planet. But one aptitude she never acquired in all that time was the ability to cook a hard-boiled egg.

Is there a pocket of ignorance in your own repertoire that rivals this lapse, Pisces?

Are there any fundamental life skills that you probably should have learned by now?

If so, now would be a good time to get to work on mastering them.

you can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785.

And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com. |

F E AT U R E

PHOTO By BOBBy MuLL

by ROb

For the week of March 20, 2014

STORY

Mallet to the face A tennis court somewhere in downtown Sacramento is lit up, and the pick-up basketball game on the other side of the chain-link fence has come to a halt, with the players watching six people swerving, balancing and hopping atop bicycles to swat a tomato-red plastic ball into a goal with mallets. This is hardcourt bike polo. And the Capitol Bike Polo club’s Christine Carrisosa asks that the location of the practice site be kept a secret, since the last time a media outlet publicly announced it, the police shut it down shortly thereafter. Carrisosa, who manages a franchise coffee shop during the day, has been spending her nights over the past year playing the sport, helping organize tournaments and trying to recruit fresh blood to ride with the CBP crew.

Why is CBP not too keen on media coverage?

(Laughs.) I think because we were so eager to do [a local TV-show segment] the last time, thinking there would be positive feedback, and [instead] it was just so ridiculous.

What happened?

We all got up and had to be here at 7 o’clock in the morning—people took time off of work—but we came out early and did all this, and I think we felt we were getting an interview, and when it came down to it and we saw what was on TV, it was a joke.

They played circus music behind us. They were here for a couple of hours, and, you know, you get a two-minute snip, and it was edited goofy. ... It was just not positive. ...

So it just felt like a waste of time. Channel 31 Good Day Sacramento! (Laughs.)

How’d you first become interested in bicycle polo?

My boyfriend started playing, and so I started watching him. And I watched him play for about a year before I finally decided to jump on the bike and see what it felt like with the mallet. And I just fell in love with it. It’s really challenging; it’s not something I thought I’d ever be into.

Most challenging aspect?

It’s so many things at once: You’re pedaling; you’re having to speed up and slow down; you’re having to try to either control the ball, hit the ball, defend it or take it away from somebody, so it requires ... a lot of coordination. And that’s definitely not natural to me. It’s so challenging, but it’s a group of friends—it’s our social time. … Instead of time we’d spend at the bars, we’re out here.

Do you travel to other cities for tournaments?

Lots. I would say that our city, just as a whole, travels to tournaments more |

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frequently than [other] clubs, and we host a lot of events in our city, because we can use this court here, we can use the courts in Davis, and then there’s a beautiful court in Folsom that’s actually a roller-hockey rink. … Our southwest region qualifier is going to be held there in May. ...

During the wintertime, we can kind of play here as often as we like, because tennis players aren’t using the courts. But in the summer when the weather is really nice, there’s a lot of competition. We get kicked off. I recently have been ... trying to work with the city so we can find funding so we can help build a multiuse court in the Sacramento area, preferably Midtown. There’s hundreds, seriously hundreds of tennis courts in the greater-Sacramento area, and there’s not one multiuse court.

What kind of gear do you use?

Definitely a helmet. If you’ve taken a ball to the face or a mallet to the face, you’ve probably invested in a face mask. ... Most everyone is wearing lacrosse or hockey gloves because they keep your fingers protected from mallet strikes or handlebars hitting your hand.

Gnarliest injury you’ve seen?

Oh, gosh. So, in our house, [my boyfriend] had a broken finger, I had a broken finger, he had a cracked rib. I’ve seen people tear their ACL. I’ve seen some pretty bad injuries in polo. When we were at [a tournament], a guy ran into the backside of another guy’s bike. The part that the chain is on just sawed his shin open about 7 inches. Injuries you’d never think you’d |

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get ’cause they’re strange injuries. …

You’re riding a bike at a fast pace, six people are all doing their own thing—

Is this the stupidest thing you’ve done?

No! (Laughs.) If I wasn’t being so personally rewarded with friendships and the fun and the travel, maybe, but I think there are definitely people that I work with and my family that question what the hell I’m doing out here every night. But I really feel like it’s, for me, one of the best things that’s happened. I love it.

How long will you stay out here playing?

The latest we’ve ever stayed, 4:30 in the morning. Not kidding. But usually, if we have this many people, like the next game, there’ll be six fresh people in, we can play until midnight. Regulation games are 12 minutes or until five points [are scored], but sometimes when we play like this for endurance, we’ll play for hours and not take score.

Do you know about the history of polo being played with severed heads?

No, I didn’t know that. That’s awesome.

I know more about, like, the civilized English playing—it started with horses, obviously—about a hundred years ago, the British started playing on bikes with mallets on grass. ... It’s more of a gentleman’s sport, less contact. Ω Hey, ladies, interested in mounting up? Learn about the basic-training event, California Ladies Bike Polo Summit, on April 5-6, at https://league ofbikepolo.com/club/capitol-bike-polo.

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