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Volume 25, iSSue 42

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January 30, 2014 | Vol. 25, Issue 42

32

A gold standard The 2014 Winter Olympics kick off on February 7, in Sochi, where the Russian city’s location on the Black Sea’s coast makes it ideal for events such as alpine skiing.

Unfortunately, it’s also a horrible place to be if you’re gay or lesbian.

Although Russia decriminalized same-sex sexual activity in 1993, in 2013 the country passed a law banning “propaganda” that equates samesex relationships to those that are heterosexual, and also made it illegal to distribute gay-rights-related materials to minors.

Meanwhile, there are no laws prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, and same-sex couples are ineligible for the legal protections available to their heterosexual counterparts.

Earlier this month, Russian President Vladimir Putin said gays and lesbians would be welcome at the Olympics, but warned them against participating in the spread of “propaganda.”

Sochi Mayor Anatoly Pakhomov recently reinforced that viewpoint, telling a BBC reporter that “we just say that it is your business, it’s your life. But it’s not accepted here. ... We do not have [gays] in our city.”

Oh, OK, sure you don’t.

It’s awful that the site for the world’s greatest display of athleticism is also home to such bigotry. One option is to boycott the Olympics. But that also punishes athletes.

Rather, I prefer President Barack Obama’s decision to lead by example.

In December 2013, he appointed three gay athletes as U.S. Olympic delegates: figure skater Brian Boitano, hockey player Caitlin Cahow and tennis player Billie Jean King.

“Maybe we’ll help the LGBT community in Russia ... help them not feel alone and disenfranchised,” King told a reporter.

Obama’s decision is but a small, symbolic move, but it resonates all the same.

23

29 Creative Director Priscilla Garcia Art Director Hayley Doshay Junior Art Director Brian Breneman Designers Vivian Liu, Serene Lusano, Marianne Mancina, Skyler Smith Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Steven Chea, Wes Davis, Ryan Donahue, Taras Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Shoka

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What’s your Super Bowl tradition?

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My friends do something called “the bacon bowl.”

I had the lovely opportunity to attend it last year. You have to bring a dish that has bacon in it. Somebody brought fudge-dipped bacon.

There was bacon macaroni and cheese. I’ve gone twice.

The day after, I want to kill myself. It’s too much.

account manager

I have a Super Bowl game ball from 1994, and I don’t touch it until after the Super Bowl is completely over. It’s in my room, but I will not touch it at all.

Last year, I touched it, and the Niners lost the Super Bowl. During the game, my ritual is to drink a lot of beer.

I play a quick video game of FIFA at halftime. The halftime show always blows, so I skip it. The halftime [show] is overrated, until they bring Justin Timberlake back. The FIFA game is a good palate cleanser between each half. I can always watch the commercials on YouTube after.

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My Super Bowl tradition is to piss off my friends and root against their team. I always root for the underdogs. I get under my friends’ skin. Hopefully, I’m a fan of the team going against their team.

Everyone here was for the Broncos, so I rooted for the Patriots. I’m also for the Seahawks.

I used to wear a Cowboys Super Bowl sweatshirt until it disintegrated from wear and tear in 2004. The other tradition is to hopefully watch the Niners lose. I’m a Cowboys fan. That ritual worked well in the ’90s, but it’s been a while. The ritual died with the sweatshirt.

When they get back to the Super Bowl, I’ll get another.

data analyst

I make a bunch of different hors d’oeuvres, like hot spinach-dip-stuffed French bread. That’s our tradition for every Super Bowl. It has Monterey Jack cheese, Parmesan, artichokes, mayonnaise and sour cream.

You hollow out the bread and mix it in, shove it in the oven, and it comes out almost like a stuffed pizza.

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Email your letters to sactoletters@newsreview.com.

Kill your lawns!

Re “Water ways� (SN&R Editorial, January 23): First imperative step: Lose the lawns.

The amount of acreage in lawns in the Central Valley and on the edge of a desert in Southern California is insane. Anyone making water decisions should have to keep LETTER OF one average lawn THE WEEK green through one summer watering it by hand instead of out-of-sight, out-ofmind automatic sprinkler systems. They would soon realize that it takes enough water per day to meet the needs of an average family for a week. Now, multiply that by all the lawns around all the homes and business parks, and the waste is astronomical.

issues, probably never actually learns that they’re being debated, because they’re not tapped into the public process.� When regular folks don’t have time to “tap in,� but seem to have plenty of time for Facebook, People magazine, reality TV, etc., the extremists from both sides are able to easily take center stage at these meetings. As for “government’s antiquated, technology-unfriendly approach to civic interaction�: Gee, you can show up in person, watch live on basic cable or the Internet, and also have the luxury of emailing or phoning or old-fashioned letter writing to let your representatives know what issues you care about.

When you don’t participate in democracy, you get the government you deserve.

Tonja Edelman via email

Smoke-free inside and out

George Selkirk

Car m i chael

Too much Facebook over city council Re “Minute by minute by minute� by Nick Miller (SN&R News, January 23): Nick Miller laments, “The average citizen, who may care about certain

But what about businesses, many of which have large and lush, wellirrigated spreads? And if NestlĂŠ, which our then-new mayor invited to partake of our water to bottle and sell, has set up shop, will they cut the amount they drain of our most precious natural resource? I wonder if K.J. played hardball with them, making them agree to cut usage in the event of a drought?

And the arena project. How much additional water will be required to support it—assuming the accuracy of the arena proponents’ predictions of wondrous new development which will accompany the arena? If the result of such an analysis is as I suspect it will be, the project should be aborted before more money is wasted on it.

Miles D. Wichelns Sacramento

Water business Re “Water ways� (SN&R Editorial, January 23): Residents of the city are asked to restrict their water use. That’s terrific; we obviously have a very fragile water supply.

Re “Ban smoking?� (SN&R Editorial January 16): I’m very disappointed to see SN&R’s regressive stance against smoke-free outdoor dining in Sacramento. We heard all the same now-discredited Chicken Little hysteria from the restaurant industry 16 years

ago, such as prohibiting smoking inside restaurants will drive away patrons and cause business to suffer. But what has happened since the state Legislature prohibited smoking inside bars and restaurants back in 1998? Studies showed clear evidence that smoke-free laws did not hurt restaurants and bar patronage, employment, sales or profits.

In fact, they often improved business.

What’s more, polls consistently indicate that diners overwhelmingly prefer their restaurants and bars smoke-free.

The pioneering California law swept the nation and the world. Even pubs in Ireland are smoke-free now. But smoking remains the leading preventable cause of death in California, and, according to the U.S. surgeon general, there is no safe level of exposure to secondhand smoke. Unfortunately, your lungs can’t tell whether you are dining inside or outside when they take in secondhand smoke. It is time to finish the job started 16 years ago and make dining smoke-free inside and out.

Jim Knox vice president, government relations, American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network

@SacNewsReview

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Behind the Kings scenes See NEWS

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12

Bogus arena bucks See BITES

13

Golden fears Sacramento Senior Safe House faces Valentine’s Day closure without financial help Sunk into a tawny recliner with his cane propped beside him, John chills as the tacky spectacle of The Jerry Springer Show clamors by like white noise. This is a rare period of Raheem F. Hosseini rest and relaxation for the 70-year-old, a temporary resident of the Sacramento raheemh@ Senior Safe House, which has sheltered and newsreview.com relocated hundreds of abused and neglected seniors since opening its doors four-and-ahalf years ago.

A Sacramento County Adult Protective Services social worker dropped John off here about three weeks ago. Before that, the retired Amtrak engineer was on the streets for two months. He wasn’t sure he’d survive the winter—or that he wanted to.

“God Almighty, if my [social] worker hadn’t brought me here, I would’ve left,” he said. “I wouldn’t’ve stayed. Life’s too hard.”

John isn’t talking about leaving Sacramento. He’s referring to this mortal coil. It’s legitimate to say, then, that this place saved John’s life.

But who will save the savior?

Without a fast injection of community cash, the one-of-a-kind safe house—“the only one west of the Mississippi,” believed program director Juanita Daniel—will shut its doors on February 14, a.k.a. Valentine’s Day. It’s yet another local charitable organization facing yet another financial crisis, following in the Chicken Little footsteps of Wind Youth Services, Salvation Army and Regional Human Rights/Fair Housing Commission, all of which experienced falling skies in the past year.

The senior safe house’s needs are equally pressing, in that it has two weeks to raise approximately $60,000 or else close for at least a year.

“If we close February 14, there will be no place for these residents to go in our community,” said Christie J. Holderegger, chief development officer of Volunteers of America Northern California & Northern Nevada, which operates the safe house.

Since the summer of 2009, the home has sheltered roughly 245 seniors and provided them housing and relocation services.

Most are from the Sacramento area, though some traveled as far as Texas. The shelter averages about 50 clients a year, most of whom stay for about 30 days. It’s temporary respite from whatever harsh reality the seniors have just escaped.

John’s working with staff here and at APS to find more permanent environs. If the economy has its way, he might be one of the last to get such help.

B E F O R E | N E W S | F E AT U R E

PHOTO BY JONATHAN MENDICK

11

Sacto Cops

Experiencing a two-month bout of homelessness, John, 70, was brought to the Sacramento Senior Safe House for shelter and relocation services about three weeks ago. The safe house is in danger of closing because of a financial deficit.

Before the safe house existed, Holderegger said, rescued seniors either got a bed and a bag of food at a shelter or were put up at a convalescent home.

An unhelpful collision of circumstances dug this hole: Just as the county was pulling back on its funding commitments to various VOA programs, a major private donor died last month, leaving a $200,000-sized crater.

Earlier this month, the VOA board convened for what Holderegger described as a “challenging” meeting. Because the safe house is the only program that’s entirely community funded, the board decided it couldn’t keep it going at the expense of other housing and assistance ventures.

Holderegger asked the board to delay its sentence for 30 days and got on the media bullhorn. A slew of donors big and small chipped in north of $137,000 in two weeks, but the number of checks has dwindled. The final 60 grand will likely be the hardest.

“We have gaps in all our programs,” she said. “This is just the largest one.”

And all for a program that almost didn’t happen.

The VOA originally intended to open a shelter for runaway youth on this 1-acre plot, but met strong opposition from neighboring residents. In stepped Maxine Milner Krugman, an elder advocate who spied a need for a haven for mistreated or forgotten seniors. Neighbors reluctantly agreed to the alternative, and the 4,783 square-foot custom-made home was built.

Retired in 1991, John has six sisters residing in the area, but it doesn’t seem like they’re on good terms. When asked if he wants help getting in touch, John politely STORY

waves away the offer. “I know where they are,” he said.

He visited a brother in Louisiana, but didn’t cotton to the swamp state and returned to Sacramento roughly nine weeks ago. When he got back, he had no place and no one to ask for help. “I’m pretty much on my own here,” he said.

Dressed in a floral shirt and tan jacket and capped by ashy-white hair, John makes no mention of the wedding band around his ring finger.

Both Daniel and Holderegger mention other guests, like the feisty 92-year-old Japanese woman who survived two internment camps, and the late-60s South African woman who returned following a recurrence of breast cancer. Staff was able to reach one of her estranged sons, but not in time. “She passed away before he got there,” Daniel said.

Often, clients have been bamboozled out of retirement savings by close family members, betrayed by caretakers, evicted or foreclosed on. They need relocation or housing, but also someone to listen to them.

“We do,” Daniel said. “We try to minimize the fear and anxiety that they often come through the door with.”

Just about everyone enters in a state of trauma and betrayal, followed by surprise that this nice estate, with its catered meals and laundry services, is just for them.

Daniel is the only onsite employee, but is aided by a rotation of soft-speaking volunteers who help develop “realitybased” plans to address the gamut—including abusive living situations, hacked Social Security accounts, reverse-mortgage schemes and self-neglect.

According to APS program manager Ruth MacKenzie, her office investigated 5,494 allegations last year, 28 percent of which were of a financial nature, which is a record. “Financial abuse, for the first time locally, had the greatest number of allegations,” she said. “So financial is our top dog.”

Previous honors fell under the umbrella of health and safety, MacKenzie said.

Most elder abuse cases are also very personal.

“We’re not talking stranger crimes here,” said Detective Sgt. Dean Bowen of the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department. “We’re talking sons, daughters, grandkids, nieces, nephews.”

This is also why victims are sometimes reluctant to pursue criminal prosecution, even when the betrayal has been found out.

Daniel cites a mix of shame and denial that someone so close to them could be using them. In these instances, Bowen said he backs off: “We don’t force people to be a victim.”

Without the safe house, the options for mistreated seniors will be even fewer.

“We do rely on this facility when we come into contact with seniors who need immediate housing,” said Debra J. Morrow, chief of senior and adult services for the county. “We are actively talking with others in the community, with the aim of finding ways to preserve this option for some of our clients.”

Holderegger acknowledged that charityin-crisis fatigue might be setting in. She promised the VOA would refund every donation if it falls short of its goal.

“Don’t count on that,” Daniel interjected. “We will be open.” Ω

Meanwhile, financial elder abuse has become the leading crime against Sacramento seniors. | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R | 01.30.14

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Sacramento city police showed up en masse this past Thursday night, patrolling Midtown as homeless residents, Occupy movement members and activists once again by Nick Miller took to the streets.

But this time, the occasion had nothing to do ni c k am@ with Wall Street or “the 1 percent.” It was a peaceful ne w s re v ie w.c o m candlelight vigil for Kelly Thomas, whom Southern California law enforcement beat to death in 2011.

Thomas, a 31-year-old schizophrenic homeless man, died on July 10 of that year, five days after police officers broke his face—to the point where he choked on his own blood—and crushed his thorax and throat. A security camera captured Thomas’ assault, and two officers were charged with felony manslaughter and use of excessive force. A video of the attack went viral. Many have referred to it as unwatchable.

Yet earlier this month, on January 13, a judge ruled that the two police officers in Fullerton were not guilty, even though the district attorney in Orange County had chosen to prosecute the case himself.

Here in Midtown, activists honoring Thomas marched “They seemed throughout the streets, from J and all the way to Gov. Jerry on edge and 20th Brown’s residence on 16th, just excessive.” after 5 p.m. on January 23.

James “Faygo” Clark, a local James “Faygo” Clark homeless man and longstanding homeless man and Occupy Occupy movement organizer, told Sacramento activist, on local police SN&R that police followed the presence at a vigil last week march—which included a few dozen activists—the entire time.

Just after 7 p.m., the march ended on the corner of 20th Street near Peet’s Coffee & Tea. Police overtook Midtown near the popular MARRS complex—on horseback and bicycles, in cars, on foot. It wasn’t Second Saturday, but there were more cops out than in recent memory. Some raced down alleyways in patrol vehicles, running coordinated surveillance maneuvers, while others rode up and down sidewalks in groups of three.

“They seemed on edge and excessive,” Clark said.

“I hope they heard me saying that we want the ‘good’ [officers] to speak out against abuse by others.”

Police say no arrests or citations were made. The showdown between law enforcement and Occupy did, however, recall more dramatic encounters of yore.

In the fall of 2011, during the local Occupy chapter’s activism at downtown’s Cesar Chavez Plaza near City Hall, the city spent more than $100,000 monitoring and handcuffing protesters during the movement’s first three weeks, which included the arrest of 75 individuals for unlawful assembly. Ω

Kings behind the scenes

BEATS

Arena-vote proponents remain confident, accuse city of bias, misconduct, losing paperwork “She’s saying, ‘I’m just a robot.

I’m just administering the laws and not exercising discretion.’ And that’s just absurd,” he said. He says the clerk and other city officials have been anything but impartial.

Powell claims that the mayor’s office and The4000—Kevin Johnson’s pro-arena attack-dog group—surely received copies of their petitions from the clerk’s office. “A city employee was allowed to photocopy the petition variants” and leak them to the mayor’s office, he accused.

This past Friday, however, City Clerk Shirley Concolino rejected the arena-vote petitions anyway.

Initiative proponents, and even a few City Hall insiders, are calling the city clerk’s decision a “calculated political move” that had little to do with the law.

Now, Sacramento Taxpayers Opposed to Pork and Voters for a Fair Arena Deal—the two groups vying to put the initiative on the June ballot—submitted an application in Sacramento Superior Court this week challenging the city’s ruling. They argue that their signature-gathering efforts amount to “substantial compliance” with election requirements.

But there’s more: The legal challenge also accuses the city clerk of bias and misconduct.

City Attorney Sanchez rejects the group’s accusations. “I’m comfortable that [Concolino] has done the things that she had to do to make an independent decision,” he told SN&R. In the city clerk’s rejection letter to STOP’s founders, she describes her decision as strictly “ministerial.” She leaves it up to a judge to determine if the petitions are legal.

VFAD leader Craig Powell called her move “posturing.”

He also said the clerk deliberately stalled the county registrar’s petition validation for weeks, so that it would be more difficult to meet the March 4 deadline to qualify for the June ballot.

And, perhaps most brazenly, VFAD and STOP faulted Concolino for losing important paperwork.

In June 2013, when STOP began gathering signatures for the initiative, it filed a “proof of service” with the city clerk’s office on June 27. But in September, Concolino called STOP to say it didn’t file that paperwork, and that all the petitions gathered so far would be invalid.

STOP founder James Cathcart rushed to City Hall to prove he possessed a time-stamped copy of the original document. “But the original proof of service … was either lost or destroyed somewhere in the city clerk’s office,” Powell said. “That never happens, this never happens. It just vanished.”

As recently as two weeks ago, the city hoped to use the lostdocument snafu as grounds to reject the petitions, according to the city attorney memo.

Sanchez admitted that “there were some challenges as to whether [the paperwork] was submitted or not,”

PHOTO COURTESY OF SACRAMENTO KINGS/AECOM

Earlier this month, City Attorney James Sanchez sent a confidential memo to select staff. The city won’t release it, but by multiple sources told SN&R that its Nick Miller contents explored ways to successnic kam@ fully quash the arena-ballot initiative, news re view.c om which asks for voter approval of the Sacramento Kings deal. Sanchez looked at 10 possible scenarios. But his conclusion was, essentially, that even though the petitions contained multiple errors and deficiencies, a judge would ultimately find them compliant with election law.

The first round of proposed arena renderings debuted this week, just days after the city clerk rejected Sacramento Taxpayers Opposed to Pork’s ballot initiative petitions.

Look for more Sacramento Kings arena coverage on SN&R’s blog Page Burner, at www.news review.com/ pageburner.

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Revenge-porn scorn Former Sacramento resident—and despised skin peddler—Hunter Moore was indicted by the FBI last week.

Moore is best known for his so-called revenge porn

but would not comment on if his office would be investigating, or had already looked into, the matter. He said he would leave it to Concolino to comment on such issues (she did not respond to SN&R by deadline).

The city attorney—who told The Sacramento Bee last week that the judge’s petition decision would be “close”—was confident that a court would back the clerk’s decision to reject the flawed petitions. “This issue will turn on the integrity of the election process,” he said.

Steve Churchill, a local attorney and election-law expert, says that while judges are supposed to default to the initiative proponents in these types of cases, he has little clue how a legal challenge will play out.

On one hand, “the court must jealously guard the initiative process,” he said. But “the problem with [the STOP] petition is they’re trying to get an overall, horseshoes and hand grenades pass” when there are multiple mistakes, he added.

Rick Hasen, a law professor at UC Irvine, says a judge will foremost ask: “Were voters likely to be misled?”

site IsAnyoneUp.com. Moore, reportedly distressed after getting dumped by his girlfriend, launched the site in 2009 and used it to post nude pictures of both men and women without the subjects’ permission—and then linked those images to the subjects’ social-networking sites.

A legal investigation documented that many of the people featured on the site claimed the pictures in question were either stolen via hacking or fabricated via Photoshop. Moore shut the site down voluntarily in 2012, only to launch www.huntermoore.tv, on which he not only posted photos, but linked them to the subjects’ physical addresses.

Nice. (The website appears to be nothing more than event posts now.)

The Village Voice and Rolling Stone both profiled Moore (the latter dubbed him “the most hated man on the Internet”), but until now, he’s largely gotten away with his shady dealings. He even headlined a local event at Splash Downtown in December 2012, because why not celebrate the guy as just another “naughty Santa”?

That’s changed. Moore, along with his accomplice Charles “Gary” Evens, was indicted on several charges of conspiracy as well as seven counts of “aggravated identity theft.” The December 2013 indictment claims Moore paid Evens regularly to obtain nude photographs by “gaining unauthorized access into the victims’ accounts.”

In other quasi-celebrity-news-with-Sacramento-roots, former hometown kid Khalil Sharieff was arrested alongside pal Justin Bieber when the latter was pulled over in Miami on suspicion of a DUI and drag racing on January 23.

Sharieff, a 19-year-old R&B singer once on the Def Jam Recordings roster, was charged with drag racing and released on $1,000 bail. Bieber’s bail, by the way, was $2,500.

(Rachel Leibrock)

“The courts will sometimes excuse minor imperfections in petitions. ... But they’re not willing to cut too much slack.”

Drought beer fears It was a standard weeknight at home—a growler from Track 7 Bewing Co. and a good-ole drought discussion. Then came a terrifying thought: Is the drought going to destroy beer?

Probably not.

“I’m not panicking yet,” said Ruhstaller’s J-E Paino.

“We’re still in January. I’ve been around long enough to know that one good month of rain can take care of a lot of issues.”

For Ruhstaller, a brewery that depends on local ingredients and local farmers, the drought is perhaps of more concern than it is to other Sacramento craft breweries.

Most breweries buy hops from other states—states where it actually rains. Paino said the drought will become a major concern if it continues; he’ll need plenty of water for the hop farm come summer, and hops need a lot of water. Much more than grapes, which is good news for any worried winos.

In the meantime, water could get more expensive. And beer is mostly water.

Luckily, Track 7’s brewer Ryan Graham isn’t freaking out. “Even if water rates go up, water is cheap compared to other materials needed for brewing,” he said.

Graham and Paino both said they doubt they’d raise the price of their beer even if it became pricier to produce. They’d absorb, until, maybe, things got really bad. “I think, at that point, we would all decide to do it together,” Paino said of the local brewing community.

For now, take Paino’s expert advice: “Drink the same amount of beer and take shorter showers.” (Janelle Bitker) Ω

Rick Hasen professor and election-law expert, UC Irvine “The courts will sometimes excuse minor imperfections in petitions on grounds that the will of the voters, or the will of the petition signers, should be followed,” he explained, then adding, “But they’re not willing to cut too much slack.”

Similar cases favor STOP, and even the Supreme Court has ruled that certain mistakes and unintended errors were insufficient for disqualification from the ballot.

Powell keeps bringing it back to the Sanchez memo and the city’s bias.

“What you have is a city clerk who is taking an action against the advice of her attorney,” he said. “You’re acting in bad faith.” Ω

A RT S & C U LT U R E

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Mondavi

by SN&R staff

SCORE KEEPER Sacramento’s winners and losers—with arbitrary points

Bier, bitte

Live shelter

Der Biergarten finally opened 

Last month, the Sacramento County  animal shelter reached a new  benchmark for getting rid of animals in a nonlethal way. According to a county  news release, the shelter’s “live release  rate�—which is comprised of adoptions,  rescues and returned pets—hit 90  percent, beating the previous record of  83 percent set a year ago. Considering  the shelter recently broadened its  mandate, not too shabby.

last week—that’s the much  buzzed about, completely  outdoor, German-style bar  constructed from repurposed  shipping containers on the  corner of K and 24th streets.  While development—especially  development of an empty lot—is  almost always appreciated,  Scorekeeper hopes that the 32  taps soon include a wild ale.

+ 90

+ 32

RECYCLE THIS PAPER.

++

Tour Sac like it’s 1994

Sacramento Cops

While it’s nice that the Los  Angeles Times gave touristy  props to Sacramento in its  January 24 travel section, the  reporter’s picks make it seem  like the piece was written nearly  20 years ago. In “A capital  sojourn in Sacramento,� writer  Christopher Reynolds reports  on a November outing to the  state Capitol, praising the city’s  gorgeous fall foliage and mild  weather. Lovely. Reynolds, who  stayed at the Sheraton Grand  Grand Sacramento, acknowledged his  his choice of lodging was a chain but  but applauded its cheapness. OK, fair  OK, fair enough. Not everyone can afford  afford The Citizen Hotel. Likewise,  he gets a pass on endorsing  Old Sacramento’s “Old West  flourishes� (hey, we get it—you  it—you were with family). But that’s  where our civic-pride generosity ends. Aside from a nod to the  always excellent Muntean’s  Soup, Salad & Sandwiches,  the rest of the piece reads  as if Reynolds searched the  oldest reviews possible on Yelp  and then made his selections:  Centro Cocina Mexicana and  Rick’s Dessert Diner. Both are  musty mainstays that do little  to showcase the city’s modern  reputation as a foodie town.  No Ella Dining Room & Bar? No  Magpie Cafe? Wait, what year did  you visit?

In a surefire affront to tourism  officials, the city of Sacramento was  featured on the January 25 episode  of the long-running, network-hopping  reality series, Cops. The show featured  Sacramento Police Department  officers doing cool cop stuff, like  trying to get a barricaded suspect out of a doughnut shop and pulling over  a suspected methamphetamine  trafficker. And probably lots of shaky  camera work and heavy breathing.

- 1994

+ 521

+ 916

Fresh porcelain Sacramento State University is making  efforts to conserve water. The campus  will get 521 new toilets in the coming  months to replace its 60-plus-yearold bathrooms. The new fixtures will  use more than 60 percent less water.  More than half the money for the toilet  upgrade comes from a $78,000 grant  from the city of Sacramento. As school  president Alexander Gonzalez put it,  “every flush counts.�

No promises City treasurer says new arena and development, which will cost at least $20 million a year, will only generate $2.7 million “Duhhhh.” That’s Sacramento Bee columnist Marcos Breton at his bullying, name-calling best last week, mocking those oldsters who are pushing for a public referendum on the city’s arena subsidy. “Einsteins,” he called them.

“Duh,” is, of course, the official allpurpose comeback for arena bros in most circumstances. The four h’s just give it the ARVIN extra dickishness called for on that particuby COSMO G lar occasion, which was the Sacramento cosmog@ n ewsrev iew.c om city clerk’s decision to reject more than 22,000 signatures in support of an arena vote, due to technical errors in the petitions.

Equally classy was city Councilman Steve Hansen’s taunt of an irritated District 4 resident on Twitter around the same time: “yeah, too bad following election procedures and the law got in the way... #whoneedsstinkingrules.”

Hansen’s zinger shows a real flair for constituent relations—it was retweeted like crazy by his supporters in Citrus Heights and Roseville.

But Bites isn’t so sure about his claim regarding “the law.”

In fact, as Nick Miller is reporting elsewhere in this issue (see “Kings behind the scenes” on page 11), the city attorney found that the petition errors by Sacramento Taxpayers Opposed to Pork are likely not a solid justification for the keeping the measure off the ballot. But the petition rejection is the best shot city brass have at keeping voters sidelined. The city clerk’s decision was really more about strategy than “the law.”

Hansen knows all that, but when asked, he said it would be “illegal” to discuss the city attorney’s analysis.

Bullshit. And when the city starts disenfranchising people based on election law, the people ought to hear the full version of the legal advice we paid for.

It’s OK, it’ll come out. Lawsuits have a healthy way of churning this stuff up. For example, attorneys suing the city over the arena subsidy are circulating an interesting email from Kings attorney and Kevin Johnson bud Jeffrey Dorso, sent to Assistant City Manager John Dangberg last spring.

Dorso sent Dangberg a document with several bullet points describing the economic benefits of a downtown arena. Dorso’s document was then used, almost word for word, in the arena term sheet approved by city council last year.

Bites knows that the term sheet was more advertising than analysis. And by now we all know that maintaining a line between private interests and the public’s business is kind of an old-timey notion for the would-be world-class city of Sac. But are the relationships maybe a little too cozy when the Kings organization is literally writing policy for the city council to approve?

BE BF EO FR OE RE

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And since we’re paying Dangberg $189,000 a year just to work on this arena thing, why does he have to crib from the Kings lawyer?

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A while back, SN&R asked the city for estimates of how much new tax revenue a new downtown arena would generate. The answer was no.

When city Councilman Kevin McCarty asked for the same information, City Treasurer Russell Fehr decided to oblige.

Fehr’s memo indicates that if all of the ancillary development promised by the Kings surrounding the arena is actually built, it will generate approximately $2.7 million in additional tax revenue every year.

The city clerk’s decision was really more about strategy than “the law.”

That includes an additional $1 million in property taxes, $1.1 million in utility tax and $845,000 in hotel tax.

The estimate also includes a net loss of $255,000 in sales tax. Surprising but true, all of the development that we’ve been told will absolutely transform our downtown will actually generate less sales tax than the crappy dead shopping mall that is there now—according to the city

treasurer. But what does he know?

Without the additional promised development, of course, the sales-tax hole will be deeper.

Either way, the new taxes still won’t come anywhere close to the $20 million or so it will cost to pay the arena bonds annually.

There has been a lot of speculation about all the additional downtown projects that might one day be catalyzed by the arena. But there aren’t any plausible scenarios in which the city recoups its investment in additional taxes.

And since spurring development around the arena is the city’s No. 1 most important stated policy goal for the building arena, Bites keeps asking why, why, why on Earth would we not get a written guarantee of what development is going to happen and when it is going to happen?

“Because we didn’t get it,” Dangberg replied last time Bites asked, as if it were the dumbest question ever.

We didn’t get it because the Kings don’t think it’s in their financial interest to put that promise in writing. So, no promises.

But please, if you find yourself debating arena subsidies online or with friends, don’t bring any of this up. It only reveals that you are old and you hate jobs and want downtown to remain a bombed out, urine-soaked—mildly tax generating—eyesore. Duhhhh. Ω

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Money and art Arts funding should reflect our city’s diversity How much public funding should go to arts programs? What criteria should be used to fund art programs? Are the programs that are currently being funded the ones that should be funded? These are the thorny questions raised by the Latino Arts Network when looking at the City of Sacramento’s arts funding.

And the answers are even more thorny, according to Marie Acosta, executive director of La Raza Galería Posada and board member of Latino Arts Network of California.

In her report “The City of Sacramento: A Case Study in Municipal Support of the Arts,” Acosta L NE AE NK VO

by JEFF makes the case that the city has a “startling history of j e ffv @ne wsr e v ie w.c o m making very large expenditures to just a handful of Eurocentric art organizations and awarding very small allocations to art organizations whose work reflects the lives and experiences of people of color.”

Acosta told me that while the most-recognized publicarts funder, Sacramento Metropolitan Arts Commission, or SMAC, does fund culturally diverse art organizations, most public-art funding does not go through SMAC. Instead, it goes through “taxpayer-funded grants, loans, line of credit, forgiven loans and capital improvement funds.” In this way, the lion’s share of arts funding almost exclusively goes to the Crocker Art Museum, Sacramento Opera, the The city has a “startling the Sacramento Ballet and, history of making very previously, to the Sacramento large expenditures Symphony.

After adding up both the to just a handful SMAC grants and the other of Eurocentric art subsidies in the 2012-13 city budget, Acosta’s report found organizations.” that the city allocated a total of $2,403,406 to the arts. But arts organizations reflecting “communities of color” received only 2.21 percent of the total, or $53,130.

The Latino Arts Network believes that art funding should Read the “The City reflect the population’s diversity. What’s more, it believes of Sacramento: that dollars spent on emerging cultural art would have more A Case Study in Municipal Support impact on our local art scene, would be more successful in of the Arts” at bringing in tourist dollars and would touch more people. http://tinyurl.com/ The Latino Arts Network has made a series of recommenArtsCaseStudy. dations to improve art funding. It believes that all art funds should go into one bucket “with an independent source to develop policies and procedures that will promote equitable allocations.” It recommends that the city should make “a good faith effort to more closely align its grant allocations to the Census Bureau’s projections of demographic change.”

And that the city “should follow San Francisco’s lead and Jeff vonKaenel create a Cultural Equity Grants Program that supports is the president, culturally diverse art organizations and individual artists CEO and working in culturally-specific and historically underserved majority owner of communities.” the News & Review The best art shouldn’t just show us what we already newspapers in Sacramento, know, it should expose us to cultures outside our own Chico and Reno. experiences and invite us to discover new truths and gain understanding through that exposure.

We would clearly benefit from encouraging and funding a wider range of culturally diverse art organizations. In fact, Sacramento would benefit from more arts funding altogether.

I would certainly support a small increase in sales tax to accomplish that. Ω

This Modern World

by tom tomorrow

Clean up corporations The recent news that chemical supplier Freedom Industries, responsible for the spill of two toxic chemicals used in coal mining into West Virginia’s Elk River, the water source for more than 300,000 people, has declared bankruptcy is not surprising.

Bankruptcy will guarantee that the costs of cleanup will be borne by the state and federal governments, effectively shifting Freedom Industries’ cost of doing business to the very people they’ve harmed.

What’s more, it guarantees that the victims—the 400 people who’ve gone to the hospital as a result of tainted water, for example, and the many businesses that had to close as a result of the contaminated water—will have little or no financial recourse.

It’s precisely the sort of financial “risk shift” that big business has been doing to the public for the last three decades. The “business-friendly” deregulation that started with the Reagan administration—and has continued throughout successive administrations, whether Republican or Democratic—is detailed in the work of former New York Times economic reporter David Cay Johnston, author of Free Lunch: How the Wealthiest Americans Enrich Themselves at Government Expense (and Stick You With the Bill); and Jacob Hacker, who wrote The Great Risk Shift: The Assault on American Jobs, Families, Health Care and Retirement and How You Can Fight Back.

This move by Freedom Industries is reminiscent of Lehman Brothers’ bankruptcy during the Wall Street meltdown: Take your profits, but leave the government to clean up the mess.

Congress needs to act immediately to hold corporations to the same level of accountability as everyone else. If a struggling American can’t discharge the debt incurred to the government in student loans by filing for bankruptcy, then no corporation should be able to do so. Ω

How I (almost) became a NIMBY SN&R’s readers don’t need to know where I live. Yes, Maldonado’s wife owns the Gypsy mobile you’re mostly rational, nonstalkerish types. But boutique and is based out of the store, too.

I also know for a fact a couple of you are freaks. “Midtown Pop was a way to let people by So, let’s just say I reside on N Street. Maybe. know that 2009 N Street is going to be a Nick Miller Anyway, the other day, a letter was stuffed new place on the grid,” he explained. under my front door. It was from the city, Federalist Public House will be a regarding a proposed new restaurant and beer “19th-century style” pub, he said, with garden—called Federalist Public House—that a backyard beer garden, complete with hopes to open a stone’s throw from my communal seating, 10 drafts of NorCalapartment. only brews, a wood-fired N Street belies the pizza oven and “shipping My first typical Midtown hustlecontainer” structures. bustle. There’s ample Maldonado is working with reaction was parking and few noisy a local chef to be open by Memorial Day. An online version of this drunks. Yeah, we get “Oh, hell no.” essay can be found at passerby drifters and the The NIMBY in me had www.newsreview.com/ occasional burglarized to ask: Is this going to be pageburner. car. But it’s a sleepy residential block. That’s a rager party spot? “No, it’s definitely not how I like it. going to be the case,” he assured. nick Miller is sn&r’s So, my first reaction to a bar going in was, Maldonado, who formerly was a co-editor. he also, “Oh, hell no.” partner at Broderick Roadhouse in West apparently, has niMBY Guess I do have NIMBY genes, after all.

Sacramento, is looking at “a very laid-back instincts. Call him out at Which scares me. That’s why I called nickam@ kind of Midtown approach” for this eatery. newsreview.com. Federalist’s owner, Marvin Maldonado.

There’ll be a bocce ball court, but no He’s a local architectural designer with a hard liquor. Plus, his family will be living background in the restaurant business and, upstairs. He surely doesn’t want BarWest turns out, is also my neighbor: Since Labor downstairs!

Day, he’s resided on the second floor of the It’s the whole “Don’t shit where you built-in-1907 home where Federalist aims to eat” thing. open later this year.

Verdict: A beer garden across the street?

Currently, the downstairs of 2009 N Street Why not? This is “the new Midtown.” I’m in. Ω is a retail boutique called Midtown Pop. BEFORE

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Ed’s up Gov. Jerry Brown’s proposed new budget is good for UC Davis, Sacramento State University and regional community colleges.

It calls for a 10.8 percent bump in funding for higher education. That translates to an additional $142.2 million, an increase that is designed to avoid further student tuition and fee increases in the University of California and California State University systems.

Brown also proposes to eliminate the California Community Colleges’ outstanding deferral debt, some $592.4 million the colleges borrowed from the state during the recession.

Brown has said his goal for the UC and CSU is to give them “steady and predictable” funding through the next three budgeting cycles.

In return, he wants them to meet certain expectations: that student fees and tuition will stabilize; that students will complete their degrees in four years, not six; that the number of students completing programs will increase; and that more community-college students will transfer to four-year institutions.

Students and their families will now have the comfort of knowing they won’t be blindsided by surprise tuition hikes, and college and university staffs can begin to relax. And local economies like Sacramento’s can breathe easier as well. Ω |

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PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY HAYLEY DOSHAY

BY

JANELLE BITKER, JULIANNA BOGGS, RAHEEM F. HOSSEINI, NICK MILLER, STEPH RODRIGUEZ,

It’s OK to reject the idea of the “tastemaker.” Someone who’s (allegedly) moving the trend needle forward.

An individual with a golden finger held to the wind.

Our experience is that tastemakers lack flavor. They’re often spotlight-craving, wannabe-trustafarians, probably with an affection for either Technicolor denim or European house music, and surely toting a pug or a some breed of sub-10-pound canine. Despite their self-professed connectivity, this individual is completely out of touch with au courant movements. The kind of person who spends dinner parties championing the merits of data collection. Or who thinks it’s hip to pontificate on the etymology of the term “fap.”

Tastemaker, bad.

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So, it’s with a heavy dose of irony that SN&R’s writers play gatekeeper to some 45 trends hoping to unlock Sacramento’s heart.

Some of these trends, like electronic cigarettes and Kickstarter panhandling, are here now.

Others, on their way. And some, we hope, stay the hell out of town (we’re talking to you, hipster sorcery).

We’re not tastemakers. We just, as they say, buy ink by the barrel, and figured a feature story on new trends would be better than 2,000 words on artisanal porridge. You’re welcome.

BELLY FLOPS Just when the world seemed safe from bad ’80s and ’90s fashion (designers, please stop trying to make mom jeans happen), along comes the crop top. What should only be worn in the company of exercise equipment (if even then) is suddenly showing up in fashion rags. Sure, a very-pregnant Kerry Washington successfully rocked the hell out of a crop top at the Screen Actors Guild Awards. But unless your alter ego is named Olivia Pope, it’s best to ditch this trend. Oops, too late: Sacramento’s run of springlike temps probably means that half of Midtown is taking shears to its ironic T-shirt collection right now. R.L.

WE HATE THE WAY WE _WRITE SUBHEADLINES Overly confessional, self-loathing humor used to be edgy and cathartic—until so many people started doing it. Lately, stand-up comedy shows feel more like forced group-therapy sessions.

We’ve heard so much about tragic Internet-porn habits, body insecurities, social anxiety and how relentlessly you hate yourself. Let’s bury that material in the joke graveyard next to the ones about airline food and how white people can’t dance. The world is wide! There are infinite subjects to laugh about and plenty of power structures to subvert with your well-honed wit.

We’re giving self-loathing stand-up the fiveminute light. B.C.

SRIRACHA ICE CREAM?!

We’re talking about combos that make absolutely no sense on paper: goat-cheesebasil-Sriracha, honey-jasmine-yam, burnedrose-bacon-caramel. Top your scoop with olive oil and smoked sea salt, and you’ve got “artisan ice cream.” It hasn’t quite found its footing in Sactown, but we—seriously—look forward to waiting in line on a sweltering summer day for the stuff. J.B.

KICK ’EM IN THE LISTICLES “This Man Read a Breathlessly Hyperbolic Headline on Facebook—What Happened Next Will Amaze You.” Uh, he kept scrolling.

Didn’t see that one coming, BuzzFeed headline, did you? B.B.

WAR ON POVERTY A local homeless man told me this past week that he has a warrant out for his arrest— because he neglected to register his dog with the city. Criminalizing the poor remains an issue in Sacramento, and it’s not just canine tags.

America’s spending a lot of time revisiting its war on poverty lately, but the country’s least well-off are, well, less well-off than they were decades ago. N.M.

FAMILY FEUD Prepare to be bummed: Domestic violence is trending in Sacramento County. Between Christmas Eve 2013 and January 20 of this year, nearly a quarter of the crimes recorded by the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department involved violence between current and former lovers or family members. And that’s for a crime that often goes unreported and unprosecuted. Domestic

f l y or die in

SN&R SAYS WHETHER 45 NEW MOVEMENTS WILL BRIAN BRENEMAN, BECCA COSTELLO, RACHEL LEIBROCK, JONATHAN MENDICK, SHOKA

violence reports have actually steadily fallen in California since 1994, when more than 250,000 calls for service were recorded. The California Department of Justice says there were 157,634 such calls in 2012. RFH

STRAIGHT TO THE ISTHMUS_ I’ve been entering concerts in SN&R’s music calendars for the last three years. Everything seemed to be going fine. But then last year, a disturbing trend started emerging: geographical band names. It wouldn’t have even crossed my mind, but they all came at once: Geographer, Maps & Atlases, Atlas Genius. There’s even an Australian band called Cartographer that’s working with the Aussie division of Sacramento’s The Artery Foundation. J.M.

PHOTOS BY SHOKA

DOUBLE ENTENDRE ASIDE Bacon is much like a too-drunk one-night stand.

At the time, it seems like a really good idea, but the next day, it appears to have been a tremendously bad idea. Can we mix it up, indulge in something that’s not a salted pig? J. Boggs

ECONOMICS 916 Saying that the proposed new Kings arena will inject $11.5 billion into the local economy is the trendiest line of BS this year. N.M.

BANDS REUNITING TO PLAY ‘CLASSIC’ ALBUMS IN THEIR ENTIRETY

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Crass commercialism? Check. Shameless cashgrabbing? Check. It’s the 20th anniversary of

TWO WHEELS GONE I have a dream that one day this city will rise up and condemn bike theft as the intolerable crime that it really is. That bike thieves will be pursued by citizen bikers and bike police alike, until the thieves can pedal no farther. And if they really needed a bike that bad, they would be directed to a community-bike depository, where wheels would be available to those otherwise unable to afford them. J. Boggs

the Breeders’ Last Splash? Check. Good God, I feel old. B.B.

TOILET TUBE Remember that thing called “prime time”?

Neither can we. Thanks to instant-streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu, and blinkand-you’ll-miss-it leaps in home-entertainment technology, we inhale movie franchises and

television seasons on our own schedule, thank you very much. Sitting on the toilet has never been so productive! Even Fox Entertainment chairman Kevin Reilly conceded the traditional pilot season for broadcast networks, which was created to help automakers sell their new fall lines, is on its way out. There’s no slowing this pop-culture bingeing trend now. We want everything all the time now and constantly.

Including Beyoncé’s next secret album. RFH

-ARTISANAL TOAST Doughy Cronuts? Dunzo. It’s now time for the humble slice of bread to take center plate at breakfast. And it already has in such aggressively hipster enclaves as San Francisco and Portland, Oregon. Be it house-made stone-ground whole-wheat, rustic sourdough or some sort of gluten-free quinoa-spelt hybrid, toast is a trend that’s time has finally come. This city already has some tasty options (Orphan Breakfast House’s rosemary toast, for starters), but now it’s time to dial up some real flour power. We’ll gladly pay upward of $5 to carbo-load with bourgie bread. R.L.

ON THE JUICE Peel’d on 20th Street got it started, and a new juice bar is planned for P Street. But, as an

American, I crave an inordinate level of choice.

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I want to mix and match up to 500 individual ingredients for a unique fruit-and-veggie juice blend to cure what ails me, and I want it at expanded hours in several convenient locations for all my snacking, detoxing and healthbalancing needs. Is that so crazy? J. Boggs

NEFERTITI UP IN IT Inspired by “ancient Egyptian” hand and arm movements, “tutting” is a dance where limbs and fingers pose in a variety of positions, set mostly to dubstep or hip-hop beats. Although tutting found a place in nearby cities like San Francisco, this trend to pop ’n’ lock remains far away from Sac. Perhaps that’s a good thing? S.R.

BETTER WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE THEM Speakeasies have taken San Francisco and Los Angeles by storm, and we’re ready for Sacramento to be next. These Prohibitionesque bars—dark, underground spaces with reserved tables, passwords, craft cocktails and swingin’ tunes—are admittedly gimmicky, but they feel so badass that we don’t care. J.B.

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Sactown Cosplay group’s “Jackie Fairy” as Himari Takakura, Anna Padilla as Moriarty and Kaitie Beckman as Sebastian Moran from Sherlock. (Cosplayers apparently have impeccable taste in TV shows.)

“GOOD TREND, BAD TREND” continued from page 17

TOILET TECH Please, never ever send me a Snapchat while you’re on the can again. N.M.

GLUTEUS RIDICULOUS Although gluten sensitivity is a real thing for the approximately 3 million Americans with celiac disease, few others seem to know what gluten actually is—other than a diet to get them looking, like, hella gorge for bikini season (it’s a protein in grains such as wheat and barley, by the way). So the casual dieters will continue to spend 242 percent more on gluten-free products than the gluten-laden counterparts. Even though they don’t have to. S.

MOONSHINE AND PORCH -PARTIES Thank Mumford & Sons and the Lumineers for bringing more folks in vintage vests, suspenders and feathered fedoras out from hiding. Nostalgia is in. That means hokey outfits, fiddles—yes, Andrew Bird is officially forming a new, old-timey trio soon. J.B.

ARENA ZEAL Stop asking people if they are pro-arena or anti-arena. Reducing the complex arena debate to an either-or question is tantamount to “you’re with the arena or with the terrorists” Dubya logic.

And we all know how that worked out. N.M.

WHAT’S MORE ANNOYING -THAN A SELFIE? When friends consistently post photos of themselves dressed as anime characters. Like it or not, cosplay is here to stay, and it’s huge in Sacramento. Still, there comes a point when it takes over someone’s life, especially when you’re constantly posting photos of yourself working out, or styling your hair in a certain way, just so your next cosplay will turn out better in time for the next Comic Con. J.M.

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT Whoever invented coffee pods—you know, those single-serve capsules you stick in those fancy-schmancy machines—was a genius.

And also an idiot. Not only do typical coffee pods not brew a full-sized cup of caffeine (seriously, what the hell?), they’re also pricey and wasteful. So, of course they’re only getting more popular. The U.S. single-serve market grew into a $3.1 billion industry in 2013, according to the research company Mintel Group. Here’s hoping local cafes shun the trend and continue serving java via no-nonsense pot or snobworthy pour-over. R.L.

SO CHEAP IT HURTS When you buy a garment at a retail chain for less than the cost of a restaurant entree, 18

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you’re probably paying for a garment worker’s unlivable wages. You’re paying for a fashion statement that likely will unravel after just a couple of washes. And if you’re buying knockoff stilettos or flats with soles so thin they curl up in the shoebox, you could end up paying for some ibuprofen and a foot brace to heal subsequent chronic inflammation in your feet. Cheap clothing is too painful to afford.

Our in-house fashionistas predict sustainable, quality clothing is the next big trend. B.C.

SURE THING National chain stores and restaurants, such as BevMo! and Claim Jumper, are coming to the central city. It’s, of course, predictable to bemoan their arrival. I will err on the side of predictability. N.M.

RICH LITTLE POOR GIRL When bands like rap-rock duo Twiztid perform in Sacramento, their scary clownfaced Juggalos follow. Let’s not fall down the rabbit hole twice by welcoming the zef movement, or its lifestyle, or—worse—its fashion. Vocalist, rapper, or whatever she fancies herself, Yo-Landi Vi$$er described the poor-and-proud zef movement best in an interview with The Guardian: “It’s associated with people who soup their cars up and rock gold and shit. Zef is, you’re poor but you’re fancy. You’re poor but you’re sexy, you’ve got style.” Or not. S.R.

ONE GOOD BRO DESERVES -ANOTHER We’d like to shine a light on some of the good that bros do. Bro-ologists now know that many bros abide by the ancient concept of “quid bro quo”—a seemingly simple idea that has become the cornerstone of inter-bro relations.

Discovered by the philosopher Brocrates, quid bro quo states that one bro must reciprocate any benevolent act performed by a fellow bro.

It could be anything from letting your best bro borrow your copy of the Falling in Reverse album, or something as simple as hooking up a bro of a bro with a cold Natty Ice. We know how ridiculous this sounds, but we’re also pretty sure that it’s the only thing standing between us and complete and total societal breakdown. B.B.

WEAKLY PODCASTS Sometimes it feels like we’re all talking and there aren’t enough listeners. We’d rather hang out with you in person than sit at home listening to your weekly podcast. Can we grab lunch sometime, or do we have to wait for an invitation to be a guest host in your living room? B.C.

VAPED OUT Let’s just hope dads start puffing with those uber-trendy electronic cigarettes. Then, maybe they won’t be so damn cool, and more young ’uns will quit the nasty habit. N.M.

Sean Rougeau enjoys a smoke-free smoke at Midtown’s VaPour House. The e-cigarette trend is lighting up in Sacramento.

Javie Wallbanger and Scout enjoy some good old-fashioned “cat lady” R&R. ad revenue for local publications (cough cough, sorry, I inhaled); and make available an unstigmatized, affordable pain medication for those in need. Maybe if we’d legalized it along with Colorado and Washington, the 49ers would have made it to the Super Bowl.

Get it? Super bowl? J. Boggs

THE NEXT CRAFT BEER Not many places in town have cold, caffeinated coffee on tap yet, but in 2014, most of the local major-player coffee roasters will be pouring it. S.

#LAME The hashtag symbol, way back in the day, was meant for numbers. Like, “#2.” Then Twitter started hyperlinking hashtagged words as way to track trending topics, and then every microblogging and social-media network picked it up. Now it’s all too common to read hashtags in text messages, alongside a line of unrelated emojis—because ramen-smiley-face-scissorscamel totally makes sense. Even better, we hear people say “hashtag.” Audibly. In public. #YOLO. J.B.

THE NEW LITTER Huge cat faces on T-shirts, or little ones on earrings and stationery, plus memes and websites (such as Boys With Beards With Cats), and Snoop Dogg dropping the dog in him to become a kitty—all unironically.

Everyone is turning into unapologetic cat ladies. Pups, we still love you, but the end of this feline trend is nowhere in sight. S.

Where are all the house shows that double as house parties? When did we get all ritzy and start paying to see shows at places where you can’t BYOB? SN&R implores its readers to boldly open their homes to the public at large and invest in kegerators. You provide a place for the band, we’ll provide the brew and some spare change for gas. J. Boggs

After many storefronts had to close because of the recession, it makes sense that new businesses are dipping their toes in with temporary pop-up shops all over the city, slowly working their (financial) way into permanent locations. S.

SUNDAY DENIAL We all saw the Freedom From Religion Foundation’s atheist billboards around town over the holiday season. The New York Times and NPR have reported on the growth of Sunday Assembly, self-described as a “godless congregation” that celebrates life, which holds weekend services for atheists in major cities around the world. San Francisco launched its own Sunday Assembly in November 2013. Can Sacramento’s atheist community be far behind? B.C.

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Legendary font house Hoefler & Frere-Jones may have split up earlier this month, but we’re sure that won’t have any impact on the creeping ubiquity of its most famous creation: Gotham. We don’t use this font in SN&R, because it’s too expensive, but you’ve seen it everywhere: the titles of Saturday Night Live, President Barack Obama’s famous “Hope” poster. But we didn’t really comprehend its oversaturation until we noticed that the famous ‘green band screen’ the opens movie previews trailers has been redesigned. In Gotham, naturally. B.B.

SUPER BOWL 420 Let’s legalize pot already. Let’s get all Washington state on this bitch and enjoy a fine spliff after work; meet up at weed cafes à la Amsterdam; share the wealth of pot-shop

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You want to know the next tech trend? Go to a Sacramento Kings game. The team recently wowed your gadget-loving dad with announcements that it would begin working Google Glass technology into its home games and accepting Bitcoin virtual currency as payment for tickets, grub and merch. Money is pretty much a theoretical concept these days, anyway.

(What is this “doll-hair” you speak of?) But Kings majority owner Vivek Ranadivé—who made his name “digitizing” Wall Street before starting real-time computing company TIBCO Software Inc.—seems set on carving out a unique, nonjock niche for his rebuilding organization. Hey, if you can’t rack up the Ws, might as well make the 1s and 0s. RFH

FARM TO F**K Who isn’t tired of politicians rubbing elbows with celebrity chefs, touting mega-party dinners on bridges, and taking photos with

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Dear restaurateurs: Don’t put 99 beers on draft and think you’re going to ride the craft-beer craze straight into Uncle Scrooge’s vault of gold coins. That’s a move for craft-beer phonies—and the region’s beer lovers will reject your drafts before you can say “IPA.” N.M.

GLOBAL NORMING Denying climate change when Sacramento’s

soaked in hardly any rain. Nice try. Do deniers even have a leg to stand on these days? N.M.

NOAH’S ARC PARTY In Sacramento, the river is king. So how did we end up with a party as dim-witted as Rage on the River? Can’t we just keep it civil and have a river jam that doesn’t require riot police? Our new state of drought may dry up the fun next summer, but when the rains return, I think we should build an arc to commemorate the inaugural American River Citizen Flotilla. J. Boggs

HOME, SICK The city and county’s cuts to low-income housing requirements are not about rebooting development. It’s about going after the contingent with the softest, quietest megaphone. Typical. N.M.

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When Bows & Arrows closes its Midtown doors for good, it’ll serve as another stark reminder of the local music scene’s constant state of flux. Sure, venues open and close in other cities all the time, but when a spot like Bows can’t hold its own, at least financially speaking, it’s a real blow for a town that already suffers from a dearth of venues. R.L.

MARATHON BAN

KINGS OF TECH -WHAT THE FONT?

THIS DUD’S FOR YOU

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eggplants and tomatoes? Political foodies sure like to pretend they care about locavorism, organic eats and so on. But then look at all the subsidies and tax breaks for the processedfood and refined-sugar industries. N.M.

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Those 5k theme runs have to be near the finish line, right? N.M.

PAY ME, MEOW We may scoff at the guy at the freeway offramp with his cardboard sign, but apparently see no problem shaking the digital cup for our own passion projects. Kickstarter, Indiegogo, GoFundMe and an accumulating number of crowd-funding platforms are making it easier to beg without shame. Reports NBC News: “In 2012, the amount spent on crowdfunding projects exploded by 81 percent from the year before to $2.7 billion, according to research firm Massive Solutions. The total for 2013 is expected to be around $5.1 billion.”

Which means that accordion-jazz concept album about the shelter cat you adopted could Ω soon be a reality. RFH

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s u perior How noted chef Michael Thiemann and a team of unabashed carnivores launched Sacramento’s most buzzed about, foodieworthy vegetarian restaurant

by RACHEL LEIBROCK rachell@newsreview.com

T Mother is located at 1023 K Street. For more information, call (916) 594-9812 or go to www.mother sacramento.com.

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he inspiration for Sacramento’s latest vegetarian restaurant arrived, curiously, via a love for meat.

That fact speaks volumes about the aesthetic behind Mother, the new Michael Thiemannhelmed restaurant that recently opened in a tiny space downtown.

Simply put, Mother isn’t some hippie-sprout, everything-tofu kind of place. And defining it strictly as a meat-free spot misses the point.

“The last thing I want to be considered as is a vegetarian restaurant,” Thiemann said. “There’s a lot we can do with this place: Vegetarians coming in here are looking for someone to do something different with veg or grains, and meat eaters ... are also looking for something different.”

Or, as Thiemann’s wife, Lisa, in charge of Mother’s front-of-the-house staff, explained it: “We’re just a restaurant that doesn’t serve meat.”

It’s more than that, of course. The 1,100-square-foot space was arguably one of the city’s most hotly anticipated restaurants when it opened for business earlier this month, thanks in part to the buzz generated by a series of introductory pop-up dinners hosted last fall at Old Ironsides and The Golden Bear.

The first days of official business are so far going well.

On opening day, a line of hungry diners snaked out the door, and it hasn’t really let up since.

“It’s been a challenge,” Lisa admitted during a break on a recent afternoon. Even at 3:30 p.m., the restaurant was still half full. The service director, who said she’d been logging 10-hour-plus days, couldn’t rest for long.

“But that’s OK,” she said. Actually, it’s great.

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“There are no complaints,” said Lisa, who previously worked at Ella Dining Room & Bar and 58 Degrees & Holding Co. “I think we’re all just like, ‘Wow.’” But back to that meat-inspires-veggies tale.

Last summer, Crest Theatre owner Bob Emerick approached the Thiemanns’ pal Ryan Donahue about opening a restaurant in the theater’s lower level. The space, currently occupied by two screening rooms, was set to close. Would Donahue be interested in a partnership?

Donahue, then a managing partner with food magazine Edible Sacramento, was and quickly made a list of possible chefs that included Michael. The former head chef for Ella was working for the Tyler Florence Restaurant Group in Mill Valley, but agreed to return.

Eventually, Donahue and the Thiemanns landed on the idea for Empress Tavern, a 7,000-square-foot subterranean rotisserie they envisioned as a dark catacomb with a focus on meat, meat and more meat.

Plans were made, but then another opportunity presented itself when a location near the Crest became available.

“A light bulb went off and we said, ‘We have to do this before anyone else does.’” Thiemann said.

While a vegetarian restaurant may seem odd for a guy who grew up loving Sam’s Hof Brau, it’s really not. Michael’s first restaurant job, after all, was at the now-defunct Greta’s Cafe, a popular Midtown vegetarianfriendly restaurant.

“Working at Greta’s, I understood how important vegetarian food was,” he said. “I fantasized about what would happen if [vegetarian cooking] was handled by chefs with skill and knowledge, who were also meat eaters.”

And so, Donahue and the Thiemanns started making plans, and Michael asked longtime friend Matt Masera,

with whom he’d already launched four restaurants including Wayfare Tavern in San Francisco, to come onboard as co-executive chef.

“Having Matt allows me to even think about [opening] two restaurants,” Thiemann said.

As it turns out, Mother, a sunny space outfitted with blond wood and steel, sits directly above the future Empress—creating a sort of yin and yang of meat and vegetables, darkness and light.

MOTHER ISN’T SOME HIPPIE-SPROUT, EVERYTHING-TOFU KIND OF PLACE. AND DEFINING IT STRICTLY AS A MEAT-FREE SPOT MISSES THE POINT. The juxtaposition isn’t that strange. Approach each dish, meatless or otherwise, with the same underlying philosophy, and this is not an entirely difficult challenge, he said.

“All of us eat food looking for full satisfaction, warmth and comfort; a lot of our menu items are based off American soul food or comfort food,” he said.

As such, the dishes at Mother aren’t typical vegetarian fare. Sure, there’s a kale salad and even a nut burger, but there’s also the chicken-fried mushroom po’boy: crispy,

Leeches, iron lungs and mansions See NIGHT&DAY

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Gay marriage vs. civil unions See ASK JOEY

Zappa on Zappa See EIGHT GIGS

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The real super bowl See THE 420

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SCENE& HEARD Clockwise from left: Mother, a new vegetarian restaurant from chef Michael Thiemann, opened on January 20, a few doors down from the Crest Theatre.

No meat, all flavor: Michael Murphy prepares a dish for serving.

Chef Michael Thiemann says opening a vegetarian restaurant has been “an education.”

Erik Hanson serves up liquid refreshment on Mother’s opening day.

battered mushrooms dressed in a hot sauce with pickles and shaved lettuce, all smashed between a thick, doughy bun.

Or there’s the chile verde, a fragrant mix of pinto beans, hominy, pickled peppers and mozzarella cheese. Side dishes include fried okra, and corn fritters served with a molasses butter.

There is, notably, nary a scrap of seitan, tofu or tempeh.

“As meat-eating chefs, we’re forced to think outside the box,” explained Masera.

“We just strive to make craveable food,” Michael said.

Of course, the restaurant business is one that’s notoriously grueling—physically, mentally and financially. Is “craveable” enough?

The team at Mother believes so.

“Sacramento is a food town,” Donahue said by way of explanation. “This is going to be run like a Michelinstar restaurant, but we’re doing a $7 soup, and that $7 soup is going to be on-point.”

Actually, the soups (which, at last check, included a split-pea served with falafel, and a rich potato leek) are currently priced at only $6 a bowl. Sandwiches range from $8-$10, salads are $8, and the menu tops out at $12 for the portobello poutine and the eggplant gumbo.

“The whole point is to put the effort into the product but not have it be too expensive,” Thiemann said.

If it wasn’t already obvious, the menu isn’t strictly vegan.

“Vegan isn’t our goal, [and] we try to avoid the soapbox because we’ll end up alienating people,” he added.

Still, he said, he’s open to suggestions.

It’s all been a learning experience, Thiemann said.

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Earlier this week, I sat down and watched two Beatlesrelated films, their 1964 musical extravaganza A Hard Day’s Night, as well as Good Ol’ Freda, a 2013 documentary about the group’s eternally devoted and wildly modest secretary, Freda Kelly, who still labors away as a largely thankless office worker. That I watched these two films is unusual for two reasons. First, I hate watching movies, but we’ll go into that neurosis another time. Second, I’ve never outwardly embraced the image of Beatles fandom.

Growing up, my parents were non-tie-dye wearing Deadheads who thought the Beatles were just too pop, so in keeping with my youthful iconoclasm, I decided that I wouldn’t like them either.

One day, however, I found a copy of the band’s eponymous 1968 double record, a.k.a. The White Album, in my parents’ record collection nestled between a thick stack of Coltrane LPs and those Funkadelic albums like The Electric Spanking of War Babies with nasty cartoon covers that I was instructed not to look at too carefully.

The White Album, in its sparse austerity, seemed rather attractive in that moment, alluring in its carefully considered nothing, allowing me to project whatever it was I wanted or needed in an album. I stole it away and quietly put it on the turntable in my Bedouin lair of a pre-stoner’s bedroom. The White Album at that moment filled in most of what I didn’t “get” about the Beatles. It was light and airy with an underlying darkness, and listening to it felt sneaky and subversive.

From then on, I listened to it daily, never telling anyone, least of all my own parents. A few years later, as I competently sang along to Danger Mouse’s The Grey Album in the car or at home, friends remarked it was as if I’d been listening to The White Album for years. Suspicious.

Which brings us to this past week, which has marked the ramp-up to the Beatles 50th anniversary of coming to America, an event celebrated by local music promoter Jerry Perry with more than 15 bands performing two or three songs each for what would end up being a mammoth undertaking of a show. My own boyfriend volunteered to participate, and through the week, the Beatles became impossible to escape. In the bedroom, my boyfriend tirelessly watched harmony tutorials on YouTube by an Italian named Galeazzo Frudua who begins singing one part and then layers in another until the screen is split into four Brady Bunch-esque sections, and Frudua evolves into a Beatles band of one.

Come Sunday night, Bows & Arrows was packed for the Beatles ’64 show, with tables stashed away and the “stage” pushed against the front door as guests streamed in through the side entrance near the bar. I missed the opening portion of the show, but I did catch upward of 10 artists, including Dead Western, Cove, Dog Party, and Kepi Ghoulie, all of them adding something of themselves while highlighting what it was they found compelling in the songs, and proving that the Beatles, even half-a-century later, remain as vital as the fist day you heard them.

My parents were non-tiedye wearing Deadheads who thought the Beatles were just too pop.

to tinker with the printed menu, adding notations as to which dishes are vegan or gluten-free.

“It’s been a big education,” he said of the feedback. “I welcome it, and I’d have a hard time staying in business without listening to the customers.”

The young outfit—all the principals are in their 30s—has also leaned on Sacramento’s tight-knit culinary community. The staff at Grange Restaurant & Bar, for example, lent the chefs use of their kitchen to try out dishes.

Thiemann also turned to former colleague Josh Nelson, co-founder of the Selland Group that owns Ella, Selland’s Market Cafe and The Kitchen.

“Every dumb question I had, I could call him up,” Thiemann said.

Nelson, for his part, says he’s excited by the venture.

“Conceptually, what they’re doing—it’s a niche that has never been filled in quite that way before,” he said. “Mike brings a strong creative mind and a lot of drive. And, he’s got the technical know-how.”

For now, there’s still much work to be done. Mother, currently open six days a week for lunch and dinner, will soon expand to include a weekend brunch. Meanwhile, construction on Empress is scheduled to break ground in March with an opening slated for summer.

And, despite the restaurants’ polar-opposite menus, the goal for both remains simple: “To be impactful,” Thiemann said.

“Coming back to Sacramento again and opening a restaurant and making it a vegetarian one—it seems crazy, but it also seems impactful, like this must mean something,” he said. “And it does: It means a lot to all of us. We expect great things to happen.” Ω

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For the week of January 30

wEEKLy PICKS PHOTO BY MARK JAMES MILLER

Sacramento Top Chef Competition Thursday, January 30 This event combines two of America’s favorite hobbies: eating and judging. Have a buffet meal COOK-OFF while watching chefs from downtown eateries such as Il Fornaio, River City Brewing Company and Rio City Cafe, compete in a culinary competition with proceeds going to local pets in need at the nonprofit animalrescue organization Recycled Pets NorCal. $50, 5 p.m. at Holiday Inn Sacramento–Capitol Plaza, 300 J Street; (916) 668-0364; www.facebook.com/ sactopchef.

—Jonathan Mendick

Beatlesque! saTurday, February 1 Just when you thought no one could do anything Beatles related that hasn’t already been done, the Bodacious Bombshells Burlesque Revue BURLESQUE combines Beatles music, singing, dancing, comedy and striptease in this multimedia performance.

It’s a 21-and-over event. $9-$10, 8:30 p.m. at the Starlite Lounge, 1517 21st Street; (916) 844-2227; www.bodaciousbombshells.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

Sacramento Invitational Taekwondo Championships

MUSEUM LET’S GO TO THE

T

his we already know: Popular museums such as the Crocker Art Museum, The California Museum and the California State Railroad Museum will be packed on Saturday, February 1, during the 16th annual Sacramento Museum Day. The event, happening from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (with the last allowed entry into any museum at 4 p.m.) features free admission to 28 Sacramento-area museums and halfprice admission to the Sacramento Zoo and Fairytale Town.

Here’s the best way to do it: While everyone’s circling the parking lot at those spots, check out these three museums that are a bit quirkier, further away from town or just plain overlooked.

The Museum of Medical History is pretty amazing, especially if you like to look at weird, old medical stuff.

Check out an iron lung from the 1950s, live leeches and 19th-century medical instruments in this off-the-beaten-path museum located at 5380 Elvas Avenue.

Go to www.ssvms.org/museum.aspx for more information.

Governor’s Mansion State Historic Park (1526 H Street), which Joan Didion called her “favorite house in the world” in her book The White Album, is somewhat of an unsung historical landmark.

Last used as a residence by Gov. Ronald Reagan, “the bedrooms are big and private and high-ceilinged and they do not open on the swimming pool and one can imagine reading in one of them, or writing a book, or closing the door and

crying until dinner,” wrote Didion about the house, in which she spent time with Gov. Earl Warren’s daughter, Nina.

Find out more at www.parks.ca.gov/ ?page_id=498.

Now, if you’re really into vintage farming equipment, the Heidrick Ag History Center (1962 Hays Lane in Woodland) has everything you’d ever want to see: vintage tractors, trucks and water pumps. Suspenders and hayseed chewing optional. Visit www.ag history.org for more information.

Visit www.sacmuseums.org for more information on Sacramento Museum Day.

—Jonathan Mendick

saTurday, February 1 It may not be as flashy or bloody as MMA cagefighting, but there will certainly be kicks and punches at this international martial-arts tournament. Watch taekwondo demonstrations and MARTIAL ARTS sparring, with special guests from Korea and Mexico. $15, 9 a.m. at the Sacramento Memorial Auditorium, 1515 J Street; www.robinsonstkd.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

KDVS celebration saTurday, February 1 KDVS celebrates its 50-year anniversary this Saturday with music, interviews with staff and an appearance by a character known as RADIO Mr. Turntable Head. It’s all being broadcast live on air at 90.3 FM and on its website, and video will go up on YouTube later, too. Free, 9 p.m. at KDVS, 720 Olive Drive, Suite H in Davis; www.kdvs.org.

—Jonathan Mendick

Vegan Super Bowl Fiesta sunday, February 2 Are you ready for some football game to be synonymous with vegan Mexican-food buffet?

Tackle the all-you-can-eat spread of albondigas, ceviche, taquitos FOOTBALL and more while watching the Super Bowl. I wonder if there’ll be a super burrito bowl? $16, 2:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. at El Papagayo Restaurant, 5804 Marconi Avenue in Carmichael; (916) 487-7742; www.eventbrite.com/e/ vegan-super-bowl-fiesta-tickets-10104275159.

—Shoka

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effective MarketiNg caMpaigN

“[SN&r] aSked all the right queStioNS to create the MoSt

A tale of two food ethnicities Tako Korean BBQ

for My buSiNeSS.”

3030 T Street, (916) 346-4933, www.sactako.com Fusion food is the Dickensian character of the food world—either overcoming great adversity and skepticism in order to achieve the rightful by Garrett McCord reward it deserves, or succumbing to fate and suffering a rather tragic end.

Ultimately, its fate exists in the hands of the author. Or, in the case of food, the chef. Fusion food depends on expert characterization as well as a hefty dose of believability for it to thrive with an increasingly persnickety and foodwise market.

Tako Korean BBQ is such a character: a fusion food of Mexican culinary practice and rating: Korean ingredients. It’s a unique trans-Pacific HHH blend that first found popularity via Korean taco trucks in Los Angeles and New York City, dinner for one: and has since slowly expanded into other major $7 - $10 metropolitan centers.

Yoon Hee Cho and Alex Wan, two barbeque enthusiasts who decided to take a chance by converting an old gas station into a nifty little joint straddling Midtown and East Sac, opened Tako in 2012. (A second location is set to open in downtown Davis later this year, H flawed according to a recent post on the restaurant’s Facebook page.) The service here is friendly HH haS momenTS and the parking a bitch, but the space itself exudes a ruddy charm.

HHH Ordering is done in a Chipotle-like fashion: appealing pick the dish and pick the meat or vegetable HHHH filling. It’s a smart way to give variety to a auThoriTaTive limited number of menu options.

HHHHH Tacos filled with galbi, a Korean-style mariepic nated short rib, are sweet and salty. The tacos are served with shredded slaw, and an indigo blueberry-yogurt sauce that at first seems rather out of place. However, the sauce provides a light fruitiness that compliments the galbi well (and, in fact, contrasts well against most of the food served here).

Bulgogi sliders are the true hit of the menu.

These are Korean-marinated steak stuffed into light bread, served with cabbage, cheese and a tangy house sauce, and my only complaint is that the cheese isn’t melted—such a touch would give the dish a bit more oomph.

The dae ji bulgogi, a spicy marinated steak, frankly isn’t all that spicy, assuming lava runs Still hungry? through your veins. For the chili layman, have Search Sn&r’s it served in a burrito where the rice and tortilla “dining directory” will mitigate the pain. The spicy marinated to find local restaurants by name chicken (buldak) is just as mild but tasty or by type of food. nonetheless.

Sushi, mexican, indian, Oksusu is traditionally a Korean corn-based italian—discover it tisane, but at Tako it’s served as a sweet medley all in the “dining” section at of corn, cherry tomatoes, bell pepper and www.news chunks of sticky mango bound together with review.com. sesame oil. It’s rather lovely and works well in many of the dishes aside from the nachos, since nachos really do just need hot ingredients and not a cold salad. The only complaint about the oksusu itself? Everyone at the table felt that grilling or charring the corn beforehand would

give it a nice boost of flavor. (A quick firebomb of Sriracha sauce doesn’t hurt, either.)

The kimchi is disappointing. The paltry pickled cabbage contains none of the offensive funk, obstinate sourness or spicy punch that’s so characteristic of traditional kimchi. Some may be grateful for this, but many avid fans of Korean cuisine will just be irritated. When tucked into the kimchi quesadilla and slathered with sour cream and blueberry-yogurt sauce, this Korean staple completely vanishes between the dairy, dairy and more dairy.

“I needed to get the word out about Bistro Michel, and about all of the unique French cuisine we offer that is rarely found elsewhere in the Sacramento area. I wasn’t sure which avenue to pursue to reach the most restaurant-goers possible. I’m glad that I chose to partner with News and Review. I’ve since had to increase my ordering to accommodate the boost in clientele. For example, the central concept in my initial ad was escargot, and sales on that dish alone skyrocketed over 3000 percent in the first month I began to run with SN&R.”

The dae ji bulgogi, a spicy marinated steak, frankly isn’t all that spicy, assuming lava runs through your veins.

- Scott McNaMara ExEcutIvE chEF at BIStRo MIchEl

(916) 498-1234

Portions are large and extremely affordable, making this a prime lunch-spot destination. The food overall is pleasant, and will likely find a few diehard fans as well as plenty of midday regulars.

Tako achieves what fusion food attempts to do, though there’s plenty of room for improvement and growth. It’s what all fusion food must do. Push boundaries. Experiment. Learn from failures. Exceed past successes. Tako seems well on the way in all of this. Ω

Dolphin meat

Two of the top global headlines last week were about a Russian socialite sitting on a sexist chair and the annual hunting of dolphins in Taiji, Japan. The latter was the subject of the harrowing 2009 documentary The Cove. Dolphins are intelligent, tool-using mammals with social structures “much like humans,” according to renowned cetacean researcher Janet Mann. Yoko Ono, who is Japanese-American, implored the fishermen to cease the practice: “The way you are insisting on a big celebration of killing so many Dolphins and kidnapping some of them to sell to the zoos and restaurants ... will make the children of the world hate the Japanese.” Of the 250 captured this year, about 40 have been slaughtered, and 50 will be sold to marine parks. Some argue that the hunt is a tradition, but does “tradition” make it right? Take action at www.seashepherd. org to contact embassies and consulates.

—Shoka

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Downtown Darna This Palestinian restaurant

Where to eat?

Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations by Becky Grunewald, Ann Martin Rolke, Garrett McCord and Jonathan Mendick, updated regularly.

Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

serves an excellent baba ghanoush that, instead of being blended into a smooth paste, is served chunky and studded with eggplant seeds. Its smoky, deep flavor is balanced out by a lemony brightness, and it’s good on the somewhat flabby pita bread with which it’s served, but it’s even better on the house-made za’atar bread. Chicken-breast kebabs are not particularly flavorful but have some char from the grill, while the falafel and chicken shawarma are underwhelming. Do order a side of tabbouleh salad, however. It’s pretty to look at—bright-green chopped parsley studded with white grains of bulgur—and tastes refreshing. Palestinian.

925 K St., (916) 447-7500. Dinner for one: $15-$25. HHH B.G.

Downtown & Vine This tasting room and wine bar spotlights the local farm-to-glass movement.

Here, diners can order 2-ounce tasting flights of wine. Choose three from the same vintner to compare styles, or mix and match to contrast similar wines from regional wineries. Wines are also available in larger pours and by the bottle. Wine is meant to be enjoyed with food, of course: The menu offers a wide selection of tidbits and hearty dishes. Worth sampling: the goat-cheese stuffed peppers, chilled Spanish-spiced shrimp, and a cheddar-andapple melt. Or try the ambrosial Wine Country sandwich, with salty prosciutto, sweet fig jam, oozy mozzarella and peppery

24 | SN&R | 01.30.14

arugula on grilled bread. There are also a variety of flatbreads loaded with topping combos like capicola, three cheeses, piquillo peppers and green onions. The bread for these comes across as more than a pizza trying to be fancy. American. 1200 K St., Ste. 8; (916) 228-4518. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH AMR

Zia’s Delicatessen Zia’s Delicatessen isn’t really about trying every sandwich: It’s about finding your sandwich. In addition to a large selection of salumi, there’s the worthy eponymous offering, served with a wedge of zucchini frittata, a slice of provolone, romaine lettuce, grainy tomato, and a simple dash of vinegar and oil that adds tang.

Order it hot, so that the provolone melts into the bread. Also tasty: the hot meatball sub with small-grained, tender meatballs bathed in a thin, oregano-flecked tomato sauce that soaks into the bread. A tuna sandwich is sturdy, if not exciting. A rosemary panino cotto with mozzarella could benefit from a more flavorful cheese. For a meatier option, try the Milano: mortadella, salami, Muenster; all three flavors in balance.

American. 1401 O St., Ste. A; (916) 441-3354. Meal for one: $5-$10. HHHH B.G.

Midtown The Coconut Midtown The food here travels a path between standard and inventive. Creamcheese wontons, for example, aren’t the epitome of culinary Southeast Asian traditions, but

damn it if they aren’t delightful. Soft cream cheese and chives in a crispy wrapper and served with a sweet chili sauce?

Nothing wrong with that. The chicken larb—a spicy mincedmeat salad—is fragrant and intense. Mint, chilies, basil and iceberg lettuce are drenched in a spicy lime dressing punctuated with a heavy hand of fish sauce. The Coconut has warnings in its menu about which dishes are spicy, but unless you’re a newborn kitten, trembling and mewling, you might not even be aware of the chilies in your food. Thai. 2502 J St., (916) 447-1855. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH1/2 G.M.

Hook & Ladder Manufacturing Co. The restaurant, by the same owners as Midtown’s The Golden Bear, sports a firefighting theme (a ladder on the ceiling duct work, shiny silver wallpaper with a ratand-hydrant motif) and a bar setup that encourages patrons to talk to each other. An interesting wine list includes entries from Spain and Israel; there are also draft cocktails and numerous beers on tap.

The brunch menu is heavy on the eggs, prepared in lots of ways. One option is the Croque Madame, a ham-and-Gruyere sandwich usually battered with egg. This one had a fried egg and béchamel, with a generous smear of mustard inside. The mountain of potato hash alongside tasted flavorful and not too greasy. The menu also features pizzas and house-made pastas, but one of its highlights includes

an excellent smoked-eggplant baba ghanoush, which is smoky and garlicky. The bananas foster bread pudding is equally transcendent. American.

1630 S St., (916) 442-4885.

Dinner for one: $20-$40.

HHH1/2 AMR Thai Basil SN&R readers consistently vote this place among the city’s top Thai restaurants for this paper’s annual Best of Sacramento issue. And for good reason. The restaurant’s tom yum soup may be one of the best foods served in the City of Trees. It features an incredibly savory broth with layers of flavor. Likewise, the tom kha gai—a coconut-broth soup—is a veritable panacea against Delta winds and the morose rains that follow them. Salads make up a large part of Thai cuisine and should not be overlooked. Larb gai consists of simple shredded chicken over mixed greens, cucumber and tomatoes.

Fresh mint and a chili-laden dressing heavy with fish sauce and vigorous squeezes of lime juice pull it all together for an addictive and satisfying lunch.

One of Thai Basil’s true highlights is its homemade curry pastes. These carefully balanced constructions of basil, lemongrass, shallots, chilies, kaffir lime leaves and other ingredients come together to form truly authentic pastes that, when roasted, have been known to drive hungry Sacramentans into a berserk craze. Service here is impeccable. Thai Basil has earned its reputation and will likely

continue to keep it for years to come. Thai. 2431 J St., (916) 442-7690. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHHH G.M.

East Sac Cielito Lindo Mexican Gastronomy Instead of cheese-blanketed entrees, diners here can order upscale dishes such as enchiladas de mole: tortillas wrapped around amazingly moist, flavorful chicken, bathed in a house-made mole poblano. The sauce has a million wonderful flavors. The portions here are quite generous. A green salad with fruits and nuts was big enough for a meal, even without the optional meat or seafood topping. The restaurant’s empanaditas de salpicon con papas are little turnovers standing up amid a drizzle of ancho sauce. The crust features a bit of leavening that makes it both crunchy and fluffy. The filling of beef, potatoes and vegetables tastes well-flavored and a bit spicy. Or try the tacos de arrachera—three soft tortillas enclose marinated strips of meltingly good steak, topped with roasted poblano chilies, lots of fresh cilantro and crema. They’re drippy, but worth every napkin. The menu is meatcentric, but the kitchen is vegetarian friendly as well.

The crema de rajas poblanas, fully vegan and similar to a Mexican minestrone, is full

of chickpeas, poblanos and onions in a rich broth uniquely flavored with vanilla and epazote. A bowlful would be a great meal on a chilly day.

Mexican. 3672 J St., (916) 736-2506. Dinner for one: $20-$25. HHHH AMR

Istanbul Bistro Turkish cuisine features aspects of Greek, Moroccan and Middle Eastern flavors, and the appetizer combo plate offers an impressive sampling. Acili ezme is a chopped, slightly spicy mixture of tomatoes, cucumber and walnuts that’s delicious paired with accompanying flatbread wedges.

For entrees, try the borani, a lamb stew with garbanzos, carrots, potatoes and currants. The meat is very tender, while the veggies arrived nicely al dente. Also good is the chicken shish plate (souvlaki), which features two skewers of marinated grilled chicken that’s moist and succulent. There are also quite a few choices for vegetarians, including flatbread topped like pizza, with spinach and feta or mozzarella and egg. Turkish. 3260-B J St., (916) 449-8810. Dinner for one: $15-$20. HHH1/2 AMR

South Sac Yang’s Noodles This is perhaps the only place in town that serves niu rou jian bing (sliced beef rolls)—a specialty of northern China—and the ones at Yang’s hit the spot. This is basically the Chinese version

West Sacramento Wicked West Pizza & BBQ This popular destination for kids’ sports teams and birthday parties also caters to adult diners with good food and healthy options, such as organic whole-wheat crusts.

Gluten-free and vegan choices are also available. With a texture closer to Chicago style than New York style, the pizzas are tasty but quite filling. Choose from house-made sauces and fresh toppings, or pick from one of the inventively named presets. The Old Lady is especially good, with pesto, potatoes, spinach, lots of veggies and a zingy balsamic drizzle. The biggest secret here, though, is the barbecue.

Wicked West delivers with shredded, tender meat that’s lightly smoky and tossed with a vinegar-based sauce. The pork ribs are dry-rubbed and toothsome, while the tri-tip is well cooked but leans toward

a dry texture. A bit of sauce on the side would fix that right up. The chicken is rubbed with olive oil and herbs and rotisserie-smoked to produce a moist and juicy result. Pizza/ Barbecue. 3160 Jefferson Blvd. in West Sacramento, (916) 572-0572. Dinner for one: $5-$10. HHH AMR

and hearty. Mexican.

5116 Fair Oaks Blvd. in Carmichael, (916) 488-1416.

Dinner for one: $5-$10.

HHH1/2 J.M.

FreshMed Mediterranean Cuisine This restaurant broadens the definition of “Mediterranean.”

In addition to the usual options—gyros, hummus, falafel, etc.—it also serves dishes from a wide range of cultures. For example, FreshMed offers a $6 Indian and Pakistani lunch buffet.

Selections include stir-fried eggplant; curried chickpeas, lentils; and a creamy, spicy and hearty chicken tikka masala. Regular menu items include baba ghanoush, which tasted a bit bitter, and chicken kebab. The Mediterranean Nacho and chicken panini are examples of what the restaurant does well: culinary mashups that aren’t derivative, but instead rely heavily on flavor and innovation. The paninis are standouts: The bread is sweet, thicker than one might expect, and pressed nicely on a grill, with char marks on both sides. Mediterranean.

1120 Fulton Ave., Ste. I; (916) 486-1140. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHH1/2 J.M.

Arden/ Carmichael El Forastero Mexican Food The menu here resembles the type of Mexican food found in Southern California: a blend of American fast food, TexMex and traditional Mexican dishes. There’s menudo on weekends, but also french fries hiding inside burritos and buried underneath steaming piles of carne asada. For a taco or torta filling, try the adobada, a pork marinated in a red chili sauce. Or, try two of the most famous San Diego-style Mexican dishes, both delicious but full of calories: the California burrito and carne asada fries. The latter consists of a plate of fries topped with carne asada, cheese, sour cream and guacamole. A California burrito is basically an order of carne asada fries wrapped in a tortilla—which, surprisingly, isn’t even the fattiest-sounding dish on the menu. That distinction most likely belongs to the hangover-curing Super Breakfast burrito, with bacon, chorizo, ham, fries, eggs and cheese—all wrapped in a tortilla. It’s incredibly rich

Stirling Bridges Restaurant and Pub This British- and Scottishthemed gastropub offers an adequate beer selection and an extensive menu that goes beyond standard deep-fried pub fare. Try the Irish onion soup, a French onion-styled soup kicked up with Irish whiskey and Guinness beer.

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

of a burrito: meat (thinly sliced beef marinated in soy sauce) plus veggies (diced green onion, cucumber and cilantro) wrapped in a large, flat and circular carbohydrate crepe (a thin Chinese pancake made out of flour, water and green onion). Elsewhere on the menu, Yang’s eponymous noodles, featured in various dishes, are homemade, alkaline and chewy.

Chinese. 5860 Stockton Blvd., (916) 392-9988. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH J.M.

Or order the house-made veggie burger—it’s one of the tastiest black-bean patties around. The most unusual dish on the menu is the Scottish Mafia Pizza. Topped with turkey pastrami, potatoes, cabbage and Swiss cheese, it falls short with its too many flat flavors to actually benefit from their unusual pairing.

Thankfully, there’s Tabasco sauce on the table. Pub. 5220 Manzanita Ave. in Carmichael, (916) 331-2337.

Dinner for one: $10-$20.

HHH1/2 J.M.

Auburn Carpe Vino This quaint wine shop and restaurant boasts excellent service and food. Try the musque de Provence pumpkin soup—it’s lighter than your wallet will be when you leave, but one bite and wallet be damned. The flavor is exquisite with whispers of vanilla and pops of pumpkin seed. A ciderbrined pork chop, bejeweled in bacon and prune and sitting atop a bed of savoy cabbage, defies expectations. A quartet of lamb meatballs corseted in harissa, mint sauce and yogurt is surely the dish to convert anyone who (confusedly) refuses lamb. The restaurant— being primarily a wine bar— does not serve anyone under the age of 21. Those of a legal drinking age, rejoice, for there will be no parent cooing to a child to settle down. American.

1568 Lincoln Way in Auburn, (530) 823-0320. Dinner for one: $50-$75. HHHHH G.M.

Hey, Ayah!

I’m pretty sick of Asian food never getting any mainstream respect in Sacramento. Most of this city’s food writers dedicate far more space to farm-to-fork hoopla, craft beer and charcuterie plates than the exceptional Asian eateries popping up all over south Sacramento. As a result, I see Asian restaurants throughout the city serving up derivative stuff like Korean barbecue tacos (see Dish, page 25), tandoori chicken pizza and seafood nachos just to attract customers and attention. Between that and American cafes serving mediocre banh mi sandwiches and “Asian salads” and being praised for it, the lack of culinary understanding continues to grow, and everyone suffers for it. Thankfully, there’s Ayah! (http://ayahayah.com), a blog whose mission is to explore Asian food and culture around Sacramento, to cover the beat. Launched in September 2013, Ayah!—a word which in Mandarin is an expression of exasperation but is also common in many other Asian languages—is run by blogger and KCRA producer Soreath Hok. Welcome to the (incredibly small) party, Hok. Ayah, right?

—Jonathan Mendick

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916.442.3927

Conveniently located at the corner of 8th & P BEFORE

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Sacramento poet Bill Gainer’s latest chapbook   Louisiana Calling ($5, NightBallet Press), collects 36  of his recent pieces (including several that originally  appeared in SN&R). Gainer’s work is notable for his  observational approach and gentle humor; the guy  loves wordplay and raises punning to its highest form.  Many of the poems here are short and might almost be  POETRY koans, if not for the slick and sudden  twist toward the dark and physical,  as in “Confessing to a Suicideâ€?: “I’ve been practicing  the note, / so far / all I can come up with / is — / It was  meâ€ƒâ€Śâ€? Light with a dark underbelly is the best way to  describe Gainer’s work. It’s accessible, funny, thoughtprovoking and as welcoming as a guy on a porch holding  out a cold beer. www.nightballetpress.blogspot.com. —Kel Munger

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Plates2Go Part of the local St. John’s  Shelter Program for Women &  Children, Plates2Go makes for  a quick and affordable Midtown  lunch option.

DINE More importantly, it  gives formerly homeless mothers the opportunity to learn  new skills and find jobs in the  local culinary and restaurant  workforce.

But back to that fast and  tasty lunch.

Open Monday through Friday,  from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Plates2Go  offers a tiny but tasty lunch  menu that includes sandwiches,  salads, sides, soups and desserts.

There’s the usual meaty  sandwich selections (turkey,  tuna, chicken, etc.) but also a  Spicy Greek  Vegetarian that  can be made  vegan if you  skip the cheese.  Or choose from  a generous  meal-sized  salad such as  the CalMex Garden, which comes  with corn, black beans, avocado  and tortilla strips.

Each item is made using fresh  ingredients from area farmers,  ranchers and dairies, and all  sandwiches are served on slices  from the Sacramento-based  Grateful Bread Company.

Dine in, or order online for  takeout. Lunch options are priced  from $1.50 (for a simple side of  bread and butter) to $7.95 for  a hearty salad or sandwich; all  come with the option of adding  on an additional donation for the  shelter. Plates2Go also offers daily  catering options. 1725 L Street,  www.plates2go.org. —Rachel Leibrock

You are using other people to condemn yourself.

Please stop. Focus your energy on becoming the best you can be.

Let’s be clear: I am not telling you to ignore common sense or your intuition. Dating demands discernment. If you meet someone and feel as if he is pushing the relationship faster than its natural evolution, take inventory of your concerns. Manage any feelings or fears related to your tendency to feel inadequate or judged. Then, have an honest conversation with your dating partner about your remaining concerns. Consciously slow the relationship down until you feel loved for you and not for your status.

All of this requires that you immerse yourself in a new experience: trust. Open your heart to the possibility that love will find you.

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

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In the meantime, get into therapy and work to shed your fears. Begin by accepting that everyone judges others, including you. From a spiritual perspective, our responsibility is to not harm anyone with our judgments. And, when you feel inadequate, explore your commitment to judging yourself through the eyes of others. Yes, that means you are using other people to condemn yourself. Please stop.

Focus your energy on becoming the best you can be.

One last thing: gay marriage.

That label isn’t about love, so why use it? What activists are demanding is marriage equality.

But doesn’t it make more sense to say, “Civil unions for all”? Let’s keep the word “marriage” in the realm of religion and associated with a sacrament. Religions should not be required to recognize civil unions, unless they choose to do so. Religious institutions should have the freedom to restrict who can marry in their faith, just as they restrict who can be ordained.

But the government should be in the business of civil unions. Our government can choose not to recognize a couple as joined unless that couple has celebrated a civil union. After all, a government is in the business of equal rights for their citizens, or should be. Everything else, we can give to God.

Free Speakers All Day!

Over 70 Exhibits BEST OF THE BEST

OF EVERYTHING METAPHYSICAL

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 2 Hilton Sacramento Arden West 2200 Harvard Street (Arden West and I80)

FREE EVENT WITH FREE PARKING!

10 am

We will be accepting donations for the SPCA. Everyone that donates receives a $5.00 off coupon with participating vendors

to

5 pm

(916) 451-4014 www.healingartsfestival.com

RECYCLE THIS PAPER.

I’m a single, middle-aged gay man who wants a committed, loving relationship.

My social skills are good, but I carry some ill-defined fear of others that causes me to feel judged or inadequate. My astrologer acknowledged that I feel like an outsider, that my partner might be foreign-born, and there could be a business aspect to our relationship. With the legalization of gay marriage, there are

by Joey ga probably foreign guys looking rcia to marry an American to gain citizenship. I don’t want to a skj o ey @ n ewsreview.c om be used. Please help.

The ticket to freedom is to stop applying your fear of people to your search for a life Joey dances like no partner. Squash the fears that one is watching. every foreigner covets American citizenship. Nix the thought that a foreign-born man is just yearning to scam you into a sham marriage.

After all, the opposite prospect could be true—you might be attracted to another country and opt to live, work and socialize with its citizens. Or you might take a holiday and meet someone who is visiting his birthplace, but who is actually a naturalized citizen of the United States. Invite your thoughts to play in the realm of all possibilities; don’t allow your brain to imprison your heart.

YOU’RE WELCOME, NATURE.

The last judgment

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I met a cute guy on an online dating site. He said he would make reservations somewhere nice for dinner on Friday night and get back to me. He didn’t. I left him a message Friday and asked if we were still on. He sent me a text on Saturday, offering to pick up a pizza and come to my place. I texted back that I already made plans. I like this guy but don’t understand what happened.

He showed you who he really is.

If you want to date a man who is undependable, he’s your guy. Ω

Meditation of the Week “The family assigns unfair roles, and never forgives the one who does not fulfill them,” said novelist Elizabeth Spencer in The Paris Review. Are you liberated enough to define yourself, your values and your destiny?

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Freedom fighter

NOW PLAYING

4

Closer Than Ever

The Conductor: Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad The B Street Theatre’s Family Series shows typically involve personal, moral choices—and their outcomes. This is true whether the show is a by Jeff Hudson fairy-tale adaptation (such as the recent Beauty and the Beast) or a “bio play” about a real figure from American history, like the current show about abolitionist Harriet Tubman.

Slavery is a tricky topic for an audience of 8- to 10-year-olds. They’re usually aware that slavery is part of American history; they get that much at school. But they haven’t generally thought it through in a personal sense.

The Conductor presents kids with a story of a black girl their age who is sold and separated from her parents (we hear the seller and buyer dickering) and goes to work as a domestic for a family that is demanding and cruel.

4

5 The Real Thing Capital Stage’s production of Tom Stoppard’s The Real Thing is a perfect pairing of an engaging play with top-notch performances.

Stoppard’s The Real Thing, a Tony Award winner in 1984 and also in a revival in 2000, is a fascinating look at life, love, lust, marriage, genders, the theater world and a wordsmith playwright. Using plot twists and quick-fire witty dialogue, the story traces a couple of romances—both onstage in a play-withina-play, and offstage—as truth, fidelity and relationships get a little cloudy.

In the center of the action is self-absorbed playwright Henry (John Pasha) whose work encompasses strong male roles and less articulate female roles, a fact his wife Charlotte (Megan Pearl Smith) points out to him as he carries those viewpoints into his everyday life with less success. He also is quick to use his words as weapons, both in his plays and in everyday conversations.

But the plot thickens when Henry mixes up his theater world with his real world: Enter another theater couple, Annie (Jamie Kale) and Max (Michael Wiles) and a subplot involving a political prisoner.

The engaging and talented cast members, who seamlessly work together as a cohesive and tight unit, include newcomers to Capital Stage: Pasha and Kale, along with returnees Smith and Wiles. The supporting cast includes newbies Luke Myers and Ryan Snyder and Capital Stage apprentice Elyse Sharp.

Director Janis Stevens not only keeps the action flowing, she keeps the timing on mark, a challenge in a play full of fast-paced repartees and subtle interactions. The clever set that enables quick scene changes and the soundtrack, with songs that sync with underlining messages, add to the overall experience.

It’s a pleasure watching the work of gifted actors and a strong director and production team bring to life the work of a first-rate playwright. This production of The Real Thing really sings.

W 12:30 & 6:30pm, Th 6:30pm, F 8pm, Sa 2 & 8pm, Su 2 & 7pm. Through 2/16. $12-$35. Pollock Stage at Wells Fargo Pavilion, 1419 H St.; (916) 443-6722; www.sac theatre.org. J.C.

4

Elemeno Pea

In playwright Molly Smith Metzler’s Elemeno Pea, the help is busy keeping an expansive Martha’s Vineyard family compound neat, tidy and ready for whoever or whatever may drop on by. The grounds and buildings are so sprawling that when the sister of the family’s personal assistant comes to visit, she gets to stay in the family’s huge beachside guest house that she mistakes for the family’s main mansion. It’s not exactly an East Coast-modern Downton Abbey, but Elemeno Pea does explore the discrepancies of family fortunes vs. working for a living, new money vs. old, and the attitudes and expectations that come with both. Tu 6:30pm; W 2 & 6:30pm;

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE B STREET THEATRE

The moral choices include whether to try to escape herself (a very dangerous option), whether to return and help other slaves escape, and the peril that await whites who secretly aid escaped slaves making their way to freedom.

Playwright director Jerry R. Montoya doesn’t depict the most violent aspects of slavery onstage (you can sample that approach in the film 12 Years a Slave, which is not for kids). But Montoya doesn’t sugarcoat things, either.

Lanky actress Atim Udoffia shines as Tubman: cool under pressure, determined to bring her fear-stricken “passengers” to freedom. Actress Amy Kelly (who often plays loud, sometimes vulgar women) is effective as a committed Quaker whose deep faith leads her to risk everything to aid escaped slaves. Ω

The Conductor: Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad, 1 p.m. and 4 p.m.

Saturday and Sunday; $15-$20. B Street Theatre, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreet theatre.org.

Through February 23.

Th, F 8pm; Sa 5 & 9pm; Su 2pm.

Through 2/23. $23-$25. B Street

Theatre, 2711 B St.; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. P.R.

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For its season opener, Resurrection Theatre presents a production of Seneca’s Trojan Women, adapted by Howard Colyer: a logical choice for what the theater describes as a season devoted to women’s stories. This is the United States premiere of Colyer’s adaptation of the play, which focuses on the consequences that befall the women of a community destroyed by war and controlled by their Greek conquerors. No one is particularly happy after the fall of Troy—the lonesome Greek soldiers or the women who have lost heroes, homes and hope. F,

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Sa 8 pm; 1/30 & 2/9 7pm. Through 2/15. $15-$20. Resurrection Theatre at California Stage, 1725 25th St.; (916) 223-9568; www.resurrection theatre.com. P.R.

WELL-DONE

5

5

When the Rain Stops Falling

Andrew Bovell’s epic and complex play about an Australian family’s roots takes place over the course of 80 years—including a climate-changing disaster of a future—and covers geography as diverse as London, Adelaide, Coorong National Park and Alice Springs. Top-notch performances from an ensemble cast (including Carrie Joyner, Linda MontalvoCarbone, Katrina Muñoz and Ruby Sketchley) and an excellent use of a spare set and multimedia on a screen (designed by Brian Harrower) make this a raveworthy season opener for Big Idea Theatre. Th, F, Sa 8pm. Through 2/8. $10-$16. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 960-3036; www.bigideatheatre.com. K.M.

SUBLIME–DON’T MISS

Short reviews by Jim Carnes, Kel Munger and Patti Roberts.

PHOTO COURTESY OF ANJELAH JOHNSON

These characters take a stand for morality.

3

Trojan Women

An engaging and talented quartet of singers (Nicholas Adorno, Kristen Heitman, Jerry Lee and Andrea St. Clair) perform this “bookless” musical— all singing, no dialogue—by Richard Maltby Jr. and David Shire. At its best, it’s a collection of musical short stories, character studies and memory pieces. Even at its weakest, it’s entertaining and perfectly enjoyable. Robert Marra directs, and pianist Samuel Clein and bassist Rod Verette provide impeccable musical support.

Catch a stand-up performance by Anjelah Johnson now, before Bon Qui Qui cuts you.

Cheerleader-turned comedian She had an unlikely career change, but Oakland Raiders cheerleaderturned comedian Anjelah Johnson is incredibly funny, and this Saturday, she’ll be performing a pair of shows at Cache Creek Casino Resort.

Perhaps it’s her unique perspective plus the ability to voice interesting characters that makes her compelling. Part of the cast of MadTV in its 13th season, a video of her Bon Qui Qui character from the show—a rude fastfood employee—went viral on the Internet in 2007. And in 2012 and 2013, Bon Qui Qui followed that up with a few rap music videos, including “I’m a Cut You” and “No Boyfren.” In 2013, she also had a role in the romantic comedy Enough Said starring James Gandolfini and Julia Louis-Dreyfus and released a stand-up special called The Homecoming Show. Saturday, February 1, at 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m.; $39-$49. Cache Creek Casino Resort, 14455 Highway 16 in Brooks; (888) 772-2243; www.anjelah.com.

—Patti Roberts

The Real Thing, 7 p.m. Wednesday; 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday, Saturday; 2 p.m. Sunday; $22-$45. Capital Stage, 2215 J Street; (916) 995-5464; www.capstage.org. Through February 23.

—Jonathan Mendick

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SN&R ReadeRS Save oN coNceRt ticketS

You, nincompoop I, Frankenstein I, Frankenstein has a premise that can send comic-book nerds everywhere——excuse me, make that “graphic-novel enthusiasts”—into transports of by Jim Lane ecstasy, especially if they never quite managed to crack Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel. Like Victor Frankenstein’s creature, the movie is stitched together from odds and ends of once-living elements, only this time, the elements are remnants of such pop-culture fantasies as the Underworld and Twilight sagas.

The stitching has been done by director Stuart Beattie and his co-writer Kevin Grevioux, based on Grevioux’s graphic novel (it’s no coincidence that Grevioux also created Underworld).

I, Frankenstein is a sequel of sorts to Shelley’s book, which ends with the creature eulogizing over his creator’s corpse, then springing from the sailing ship where Frankenstein lies and being “borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.”

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upcomiNg Feb 6

Feva in da Funkhouse / Harlow’s: $10 tix for $5

Feb 7

St. Lucia / assembly: $13 tix for $6.50

Feb 7

James garner’s tribute to Johnny cash / Harlow’s: $15 tix for $7.50

Feb 20

Rehab / assembly: $15 tix for $7.50

Feb 24

the thermals / Harlow’s: $12.50 tix for $6.25

Feb 26

paradise Fears / assembly: $25 tix for $12.50

MAR 13

infected mushroom / assembly: $20 tix for $10

MAR 23

Weekend / Harlow’s: $10 tix for $5

MAy 25

metalachi / assembly: $12 tix for $6 Monster abs.

aNd moRe... concert listings for ace of Spades are only available for review on our Sweetdeals website.

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5 excellent

In the movie, the creature (Aaron Eckhart) brings Frankenstein’s body with him, returning to Europe and burying Frankenstein in the family plot. (Jolly decent of him, I say.) No sooner does he get the body planted than he’s attacked by a group of morphing creatures, one of whom snarls, “Naberius wants him alive!”

The creature holds his own for a while in the fight, but is ultimately rescued by a band of other creatures who spring to life from the gargoyles of a nearby cathedral. It turns out it’s all part of a war going on right under the noses and outside the consciousness of the human race. (In fact, human beings hardly even appear in the movie.) On the side of good are the gargoyles, actual stone sculptures that come to life and battle the evil demons. The gargoyles are led by Queen Leonore (Miranda Otto), and they urge the creature—whom the queen names Adam—to join the battle against the demons and their leader Naberius.

In time-honored I-stick-my-neck-out-fornobody Bogart fashion, Adam refuses and goes his own way. And his way is a long one; it’s the movie’s conceit that, as an artificial being with no immortal soul, Adam’s immortality resides in his manufactured body. So we dissolve from the 1790s to more than 200 years later. Adam is still around, still stalking the dark world, and the only change in him is that he’s now sporting a military haircut that makes him look like Kurt Russell in Escape From New York.

Naberius is still around, too, of course, going under the name of Charles Wessex, billionaire, and played by Bill Nighy. Naberius/Wessex is financing experiments by Dr. Terra Wade (Yvonne Strahovski), a sexy blond biologist (is there any other kind in movies like this?).

The experiments are in reanimation, and Terra succeeds with a rat, but Wessex wants to move on to humans, as Victor Frankenstein did.

For her part, Terra dismisses Frankenstein’s creation as a myth.

She soon learns better, of course. Frankenstein and his accomplishments were real, and his “son” Adam is still around. More important, all these years he’s been lugging around Frankenstein’s notebook with the secrets of his success. Naberius wants that book. His plan is to inject 10,000 corpses with the spirits of his demons rescued from hell and to annihilate the gargoyles once and for all.

So Adam, the demons and the gargoyles—immortals all—pick up more or less where they left off 200 years earlier, in the usual storm of CGI fire-and-brimstone battles. This time, the mortal Terra is working with Adam to try to learn what Wessex/ Naberius is up to.

Like Victor Frankenstein’s creature, the movie is stitched together from once-living elements.

The alliance between Adam and Terra gives the utterly humorless I, Frankenstein it’s one moment of (unintentional) mirth. When Terra gets an eyeful of Adam’s sculpted torso, scarred and stitched but buff as any other action hero.

As the lissome blonde ogles him, it’s impossible not to smile at the memory of Madeline Kahn’s similar moment in Young Frankenstein (“Oh, woof!”).

“Woof” indeed, and in more ways than one: I, Frankenstein is a real dog. But I’m grateful for that glimpse of Strahovski giving Eckhart the once-over. It reminded me of a far better movie that I’ve gone too long without seeing. Ω

by DANIEL BARNES & JIM LANE

5

12 Years a Slave

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2508 LAND PARK DRIVE LAND PARK & BROADWAY FREE PARKING ADJACENT TO THEATRE

Director Steve McQueen and writer John Ridley tell the true story of Solomon Northrup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free man of color in 1841 New York who was kidnapped into slavery, finally freed in 1853, and wrote a book about his years of bondage. Ridley and McQueen take only minor dramatic license with Northrup’s extraordinary narrative—such abductions were all too common in pre-Civil War America; what’s extraordinary is that Northrup got free again—and the movie is searing and indelible. Even the most despicable characters are given their full dimension with no trace of 21st-century hindsight. The movie’s centerpiece is Ejiofor’s remarkable performance, giving it a core of unquenchable humanity. Newcomer Lupita Nyong’o shines as a tormented slave woman, as does Alfre Woodard in a striking cameo. J.L.

4

“METICULOUSLY RENDERED.” - Claudia Puig, USA TODAY

THE INVISIBLE WOMAN WED-TUES: 11:10AM, 1:45, 4:20, 7:00, 9:30PM

“POWERFUL AND PERFECT.”

Devil’s Due

After years of lucratively reimagining old properties like The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast as live theatrical spectacles, Frozen is a blatant attempt by Disney to reverse engineer its own Broadwaybound cash cows. Everything in the film feels constructed with an eye toward the inevitable splashy stage adaptation, right down to the big opening number, a sweeping ode to the awesome power of large blocks of ice (no, seriously). Frozen empties a promising box of mismatched characters, tones and plot strings on to the screen, including a genetic “curse,” magical trolls, a plethora of scheming royals and a wisecracking snowman, but never quite figures out how to fit them together. Much like recent Disney princess adventures Tangled and Brave, the limber visuals and appealing heroines can’t hide the smear of on-the-fly rewrites, as the film frequently loses track of its own moving pieces. D.B.

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2

A pregnant teen (an earnest Vanessa Hudgens) runs away from her abusive druggie mother (Rosario Dawson, a bit over the top); she seeks help first from the biological father she’s never known (Brendan Fraser, equally earnest), then tries her luck on the street before finally landing at a shelter run by a compassionate housemother (Ann Dowd). Good intentions abound in this melodrama, and sincerity makes it watchable, but director Ron Krauss’ script drips with loose ends and seems to be missing major scenes in its dramatic arc (after early setbacks, Hudgens’ character cleans up her act with unconvincing ease), and his uncertain direction moves the action along in lurching fits and starts. James Earl Jones lends grave support as a kindly old priest, but other characters are too sketchy to stay in the memory. J.L.

NEWS

The Great Beauty

Her

The mopey romantic that Joaquin Phoenix plays in Her is the direct opposite of his Freddie Quell from The Master, yet this is no less of a tour-de-force performance. Spike Jonze’s graceful Her offers up a near-future metropolis where humans have fully integrated with their personal technology, living lives seemingly ruled by creature comforts, yet still mired in human fears and frailties. In an attempt to fill the void from a recent separation, Phoenix’s Theodore Twombly purchases a brand-new OS1, the world’s first artificially intelligent operating system. Voiced by Scarlett Johansson, OS1 promptly sets about organizing Theodore’s life, but his disorganization is largely emotional, and she evolves to meet his needs so efficiently that they begin to fall in love. Ultimately, Her develops into a kinky and affecting meditation on love’s limitless potential, and the human limitations which keep that potential out of reach. D.B.

Gimme Shelter

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4

Paolo Sorrentino’s The Great Beauty, Golden Globe winner and Oscar nominee for best Foreign Language Film, boasts inventive and opulent visuals that are sumptuously over-the-top. It’s a vision of modern-day Rome as a disco-ball-lit crypt, a place where even youthful decadence is in decay. The protagonist Jep (Toni Servillo) is a longtime lion of Rome’s fashionably debauched scene, a writer who only produced one highly regarded novel before wasting his next four decades as a sleazy journalist. Upon turning 65, he begins to question his life of nihilism, especially reflecting on the adolescent love he can barely remember. Clearly indebted to Italian maestro Federico Fellini, Sorrentino essentially takes the paparazzo from La Dolce Vita, ages him several decades, stirs in some 8 1/2-like stylized self-analysis, and shoots it all with the lavish colors and swirling memory structure of later Fellini works like Amarcord. D.B.

Frozen

BEFORE

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August: Osage County

Tracy Letts’ dark comedy of an Oklahoma family’s secrets comes to the screen severely trimmed (by Letts himself), but with a stellar cast. Some of the original’s depth and texture is sacrificed; what remains focuses on Meryl Streep as the drug-addled matriarch and Julia Roberts as her eldest daughter.

Others are flawlessly cast—Ewan McGregor as Roberts’ estranged husband, Abigail Breslin as their daughter, Margo Martindale as Streep’s sister, Chris Cooper as her husband, Benedict Cumberbatch as their son, Juliette Lewis and Julianne Nicholson as Streep’s other daughters—but without the prominence they had on stage. Those familiar with the play will be able to fill in the blanks; others may wonder why this soapy diva bitch-match won a Pulitzer Prize.

Director John Wells imparts the air of a TV drama. J.L.

Two newlyweds (Alison Miller and Zach Gilford, heading a no-name cast) return from their Dominican Republic honeymoon to find she’s pregnant, but things quickly start going wrong. Writer Lindsay Devlin tells us up front—before the movie even starts—that the wife is carrying the Antichrist, which means the only suspense comes from wondering how the movie’s Satan worshippers found two people who haven’t seen Rosemary’s Baby. (They find two more honeymooning in Paris at the end, setting up the threat of endless sequels.) It’s just another “found video” horror movie (a genre that’s already worn out its welcome), even though in this case, nobody sees the video but us. For some reason, it took two directors (Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, both with limited experience) to pull this turkey together. J.L.

2

- Rex Reed, NEW YORK OBSERVER

“MASTERPIECE!”

- Richard Roeper, RICHARD ROEPER.COM

“YOU’LL LAUGH TILL IT HURTS.”

WED-TUES: 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:25PM

WED-TUES: 7:15, 9:45PM

WED/THUR: 4:50PM FRI-TUES: 4:55PM

- Peter Travers,Rolling Stone

FOR ADVANCE TICKETS CALL FANDANGO @ 1-800-FANDANGO #2721

David O. Russell’s ecstatically cinematic American Hustle tells a hypergroovy version of the late 1970s Abscam operation, in which the FBI enlisted con artists to help them catch corrupt politicians. Right from the opening shots of Christian Bale pasting and swirling an elaborate comb-over onto his bald forehead, this is a film all about false fronts and reinvention, the latter a subject Russell knows very well. Everyone in the overwigged ensemble is good, but Bradley Cooper is a revelation as a nakedly ambitious FBI agent. Buried under a dirtbag beard and a hideous nest of curls, Cooper is deprettied enough to let us fully see what an honest and forceful actor he has become. American Hustle might have even been great had Russell not tried to pull a hustle of his own, reaching a facile conclusion that hinges on emotional relationships we never knew existed. D.B..

3

WED-TUES: 11:00AM, 1:50PM

PHILOMENA NEBRASKA INSIDELLEWYNDAVIS

Meryl Streep just needs to win all the Oscars already.

American Hustle

1

THE GREAT BEAUTY “A DELIRIOUSLY ALIVE MOVIE.”- Manohla Dargis, New York Times

Lone Survivor

In 2005, a team of Navy SEALs (Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster) drops into the Afghan mountains to ambush a high-level Taliban warlord—but are ambushed themselves, unable to call in air support or rescue. Based on a real operation, the movie has grueling scenes of combat, some of the most realistic and harrowing ever seen.

But writer-director Peter Berg and writer Patrick Robinson (adapting the memoir by Marcus Luttrell, the “lone survivor” of the title) never get around to establishing the characters as individuals. This makes the closing array of names rather confusing (we’re never really sure who the movie is talking about). Besides, the title is the ultimate spoiler, so there’s little suspense.

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F E AT U R E

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DID YOU KNOW

We know only one will survive, and since only Wahlberg is billed above the title… J.L.

2

Ride Along

that SN&R readers spent more than

A motor-mouthed security guard and cop wannabe (Kevin Hart) wants to prove to his girlfriend’s cop brother (Ice Cube) that he’s worthy of both the girl and the force, so he rides along with him on patrol. Your reaction to this semilame action comedy will depend on your tolerance for Hart’s line of profanely caffeinated patter; for some of us, a little goes a long way. When the story is as predictable as this one with nothing to take your mind of Hart’s constant yapping, it’s enough to set your teeth on edge. Ice Cube’s character strikes an attitude of angry exasperation toward his unwanted partner, leading one to wonder if the actor may have felt the same way on the set. It would be hard to blame him if he did. John Leguizamo, Bruce McGill and Laurence Fishburne lend reliable (albeit autopilot) support. J.L.

3

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MILLION

DOLLAR$

Saving Mr. Banks

In 1961, author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) reluctantly agrees to let Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) film her Mary Poppins books, and the script conferences prompt memories of her childhood in Australia and her loving but feckless father (Colin Farrell). Written by Kelly Marcel and Sue Smith and directed by John Lee Hancock, the movie is as heartwarming in its way as Mary Poppins—and one senses, almost as much of a fantasy. Marcel and Smith include so many dubious touches in their script that it’s hard to take their word for anything. Travers’ lifelong loathing for Disney is entirely glossed over, and Hancock can’t quite mesh the grim tone of the flashbacks with the seriocomic scenes set in 1961. The movie works best as a showcase for Thompson’s tart performance as Travers and Hanks’ folksy turn as Disney. J.L.

2

on beer and ale

LAST

?

The Wolf of Wall Street

Don’t miss your opportunity to be seen in SN&R’s Sacramento Beer Week issue!

Director Martin Scorsese and writer Terence Winter go careening through the life of stock-market huckster Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), from his small-time beginning through his drug-addled reign as an amoral master of the universe to his downfall at the hands of the Securities and Exchange Commission and the FBI. The obvious model is Scorsese’s masterpiece Goodfellas (1990), but it lacks the narrative drive—besides, stockbrokers don’t have the same vicarious charge as gangsters, no matter how crooked they are. It’s a movie of great bits and pieces—Jonah Hill as Belfort’s slimy partner, DiCaprio’s surprising flair for physical comedy—but the whole is less than the sum of its parts: The early energy dissipates almost completely over a seemingly endless three hours. This wolf huffs and puffs, but he doesn’t blow the house down. J.L.

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The members of Boats! discuss maturing, music and making friends Let’s be clear: the guys in Boats! are not friends.

“It’s not a joke,” said frontman Matt Leonardo. “We never hang out unless it’s for by Janelle Bitker band stuff. It’s not like I’m cheating on them with other friends: I just don’t hang out with j a ne l l e b @ anyone.” ne w s re v i e w . c o m Local punk trio Boats! has been around since 2007, and in some circles, its members admit they’ve cultivated a less than favorable reputation. Maybe it’s because they say they’re loners.

Regardless, they got used to going on tour. A lot. And, as such, they slipped from the forefront of the local music scene.

purchase gift cards for up to 50% off Sawasdee Thai Cuisine: $25 for $12.50 New Helvetia Brewing Co.: $20 for $10 Clark’s Corner: $30 for $15 Vallejo’s: $10 for $5 Big Bowl Noodles: $20 for $12 Bistro Michel: $50 for $25 Sal’s Tacos: $10 for $5 3 Fires Lounge: $25 for $12.50 The Union Bar & Restauraunt: $25 for $12.50 Country Club Saloon: $20 for $10 Blue Lamp: $20 for $10 Skybox Grill & Bar: $25 for $12.50 Beach Hut Deli: $10 for $6.50

w w w. n e w s r e v i e w . c o m 32 | SN&R | 01.30.14

interest for months before ultimately declining.

And even when Boats! found a home with Modern Action Records, there were debates about the album’s title, artwork, etc.

The frustration paid off. Black and White has a cleaner, polished sound without distracting from the band’s signature speedy songs—most clock out at one minute, and they rarely feature an intro, outro or bridge.

“The simpler songs are harder to write,” Hayden said. “People always want to make things so complicated.”

The catchy tracks can be purchased on vinyl or tape—no CD or digital package available. The move could be written off as a hipster-punk ploy or an artifact of nostalgia, but Hayden makes a serious point about experiencing music in an analog way.

“With tapes and vinyl, you have to listen to the whole thing,” he said. “Yeah, you can rewind or lift the needle, but it’s not as easy as just pressing a button for the next track.”

For people who insist on adding Boats! to their clickable iTunes, Leonardo promises to email digital files to anyone who buys a record or cassette tape.

The band’s Friday show at Bows & Arrows (the venue’s last day of business, by the way) kicks off a tour through parts of the West Coast and Canada. Later in the year, it’s planning an East Coast jaunt, and maybe even a tour through Europe or Japan.

And despite being on the road so often, the Boats! guys want to emphasize that Sacramento is home, and they’re establishing lasting roots. pHoto By liSA BAEtz

dine out and save!

Punks grow up

Not pictured: Prius, dog and 2.5 kids.

Catch Boats! on Friday, January 31, 8 p.m. at Bows & Arrows, located at 1815 19th Street.

Charles Albright, the Four Eyes and Hit Reset are also on the bill, and the cover is $5. Check out www.bestboats.org for more on the band.

“We definitely do better on the road,” Leonardo said. “People know us here, and some people personally don’t like us.”

But Boats! members Leonardo (guitar), David Hayden (bass) and newcomer Adam Jennings (drums) say they’re now on a mission to reinvent themselves, as Jennings put it, “as nice dudes.”

Not just nice dudes, but nice, mature dudes.

Boats! is no longer a bunch of teenage punks.

Leonardo, for example, is a married 27-year-old with a full-time job, mortgage, Prius and dog.

“When I was 18 or 19, I could go on tour and quit my job and live in my car,” Leonardo said.

“Now, I have more responsibilities.”

Their November release Black and White marks the band’s third full-length album, as well as a significant shift: It’s the first record the band actually paid to produce. The band’s previous drummer recorded their other albums, but since he left a couple of years ago, Boats! motored into a studio and also signed with the Sonoma-based label Modern Action Records.

It’s been a long time coming. Boats! started writing songs for Black and White in 2010, recorded the tracks in 2011 and experienced chaos throughout 2012. Bandmates came and went. According to Leonardo, Billie Joe Armstrong’s label Adeline Records feigned

“ The simpler songs are harder to write. People always want to make things so complicated.”

David Hayden Boats!

“The music scene is great right now,” Jennings said. “I was almost going to move, but things are going so well.”

Jennings currently plays in three other local bands, including hardcore-punk band xTom Hanx. Meanwhile, Hayden is exploring careers as varied as law enforcement, porn and wrestling. And, of course, Leonardo has that mortgage in Oak Park.

“I like Sacramento so much that I bought a little piece of it,” he said. “That’s a commitment.” Ω

CIGARETTES © SFNTC 1 2014

Jazz hands and bands on the verge After the show, the band talked about hitting up Midtown—it wasn’t even midnight yet—as handrolled cigarettes were passed around. Turns out the bassist for the evening is a UC Davis grad. Someone asked if Dustbowl Revival would be interested in playing the university’s Whole Earth Festival in May. We can only hope.

Lupetin said the band will definitely, at least, return to the City of Trees: “Sacramento is way hipper than we thought.”

Thanks. We know.

Soon-to-be radio hits: Saturday brought me back to Harlow’s. After reading last week’s music feature about Nashville indie band Wild Cub (“Tiny, beautiful things” by Brian Palmer, SN&R Music, January 23), how could I not?

The house was packed, and the crowd diverse. Children hugging mommys’ legs, easily excitable teens, trendy college students, baggy-whiteT guys, aging punks and tipsy empty nesters alike were dancing and fistpumping to electro-pop songs.

“This is shocking,” Wild Cub frontman Keegan DeWitt said. “We really didn’t think anyone had heard our music here before.”

To be honest, I was a little surprised, too. Fans sang along to the band’s super-catchy single “Thunder Clatter” and shouted out the obligatory “I love you, have my babies!”

Throughout the set, I felt like I was witnessing something special.

Or that Wild Cub, which dropped its debut record Youth last week and then appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, is going to be very huge very soon.

But I could speak similarly about the opening act, Hands. The Los Angeles-based quartet skillfully bridged synthy pop with anthem rock for an alternative radio-friendly sound.

On stage, the men wore skinny pants and asymmetrical haircuts.

The look and sound were both iconically “Los Angeles hipster band.” Sure enough, they are from Silver Lake, the city’s hipster epicenter.

Nonetheless, Hands quickly inspired one hopefully drunk gentleman, who took to jumping up and down, front and center, occasionally screaming with delight. He seemed to be having the time of his life. I was envious. And eventually, many joined him.

THINK FREE.

More kazoo, more better: Zach Lupetin’s kazoo is no ordinary kazoo.

It’s a Wazoo—a crazy-loud kazoo with a built-in megaphone.

Last Thursday night at Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub, Lupetin’s Wazoo was one of many instruments onstage. I can’t promise an exhaustive list, but there was at least one guitar, bass, drum kit, mandolin, banjo, trumpet, trombone, tambourine, ukulele, washboard and harmonica.

And maybe something else.

But I can promise that the Dustbowl Revival, Lupetin’s rootsy collective from Venice, Calif., puts on a killer show. There’s a reason LA Weekly named the group Best Live Band in 2013—few can transform a seated, polite audience into one of raucous dancers within an hour.

Indeed, despite opener MerryGold’s solid set, only a few of us took to the dance floor when Dustbowl took to the stage. The vast majority sat around the periphery, too shy to even consider getting buck wild. One gentleman even told us that if we were going to stand up and block his view, we better dance.

He needn’t worry.

I witnessed—and, OK, partook— in some weird, old-school dance hybrids.

Not quite the Charleston, Lindy Hop or jitterbug. Not quite jogging in place with jazz hands either. The speakeasy vibes were present, as Dustbowl’s eclectic sound turned toward 1930s hot swing.

Sometimes it got hokey, but I didn’t mind. Whether it was the songs or the outfits—suspenders, vests, bow ties, fedoras—the show wasn’t just a concert. It was a narrative.

“You’re going to go on a horseback ride now,” Lupetin crooned into the mic.

Trumpet.

“Through the dust bowl.”

Drama.

“The sun is setting on the horizon.”

Trombone solo.

Clapping.

Finally, square dancing ensued and quickly devolved into sloppy hugs.

For the last song, three Dustbowl members jumped offstage. My attention initially fixated on Lupetin, skipping around with his guitar on my right. Suddenly, I realized the trumpeter, Matt Rubin, was on my right, and I was sweating so close to him, that I felt like a creep. But there was opportunity for redemption. For the encore, all seven Dustbowl members joined the audience for an acoustic jam. We swayed back and forth, arm around arm, one big happy family.

BEFORE | NEWS

For more information on our organic growing programs, visit www.sfntc.com

—Janelle Bitker

jan el l eb @ne w s re v i e w . c o m |

F E AT U R E

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1/7/14 9:44 AM

31FRI

31FRI

01SAT

01SAT

Balms

Jeffrey Foucault

Carolyn Wonderland

The Irish Rovers

Shine, 8 p.m., $5

The Palms Playhouse, 8 p.m., $20

Balms is shrouded in mystery, and it seems intentional. While most new bands race to distinguish themselves with buzzwordSHOEGAZE filled bios, multiple socialmedia accounts and selfimposed musical comparisons, the members of Balms have chosen to not say much of anything at all. Here’s what we do know: Balms is made up of three guys based in San Francisco, they released two songs in July 2013 and two more in December, and this will be their first Sacramento appearance. That’s about it. Check out the track “Grave” for some insight—it’s a gorgeous, dreamy thing of crisp vocal repetition against reverb, delay and general fuzz.

1400 E Street, www.balms.bandcamp.com.

The Palms Playhouse, 8 p.m., $20

Folk-flavored singer-songwriter Jeffrey Foucault is cut from the same cloth as the legendary John Prine. In fact, Foucault did an album of Prine covers in 2008. Like Prine, his voice leans toward the gravelly but stops short of Dylan-esque mumble-grumble and has just a twinge of country. Also like Prine, Foucault lyrically tends toward some surprising twists that illuminate the realities of contemporary life—songs like “Americans in Corduroys,” from his Ghost Repeater album, which mixes a honeymoon with comFOLK mentary on war. He’s smart and pays attention to melody and a strong hook in his songs, which makes this a sure bet for a good show. 13 Main Street in Winters, www.jeffreyfoucault.com.

—Janelle Bitker

Some say that Carolyn Wonderland inhabits the soul and voice of Janis Joplin and the guitar mastery of Stevie Ray Vaughan, but don’t expect to see or hear Joplin or Vaughan when Wonderland takes the stage.

Her voice is clear and powerful, and her BLUES guitar playing is all her own.

She’s performed with Bonnie Raitt, was married by Mike Nesmith and has appeared on Austin City Limits. Some more fun facts: Best Female Vocals and Best Blues are among her awards from the Austin Music Awards, she can scat and whistle, and her 2011 album Peace Meal was partly recorded at Levon Helm’s studio in Woodstock, New York. 13 Main Street in Winters, www.carolynwonderland.com.

—Kel Munger

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com - January 30 -

parade of lights

the cheeseballs

hans

9pm • $15

6pm • $10adv

- January 31 -

moonshiner colective the bennys

• 8pm • $10

- February 06 -

feva in da funkhouse 8pm • $10

- February 01 -

- February 07 -

tempest

the bennys • 5:30pm • $15

james garner’s tribute to johnny cash 5:30pm • $15adv

34 | SN&R |

Coming Soon

- February 01 -

01.30.14

Feb 08 Feb 09 Feb 10 Feb 12 Feb 13 Feb 14 Feb 15 Feb 16 Feb 21 Feb 23 Feb 24 Feb 27 Feb 28 Mar 01 Mar 02 Mar 04 Mar 06

Steelin’ Dan Duncan Sheik Secret Chiefs 3 (members of Mr. Bungie) Bettye LaVette Denver J Band ALO Martin Luther The Duhks Tainted Love Man Man The Thermals Jelly Bread Diego’s Umbrella Zepparella Wild Feathers Typhoon El Ten Eleven

follow us hArLOWSniTECLUB hArLOWSnighTCLUB hArLOWSnighTCLUB

Crest Theatre, 8 p.m., $28-$45 This beloved Canadian-Irish folk-pop group brings its 50th-anniversary tour to the Crest Theatre, and although it’s a wee bit early for the annual wearin’ o’ th’ green, one can bet that there will be plenty to see at this show. Best known for their 1968 hit, “The Unicorn,” the Rovers keep it light and airy, even managing to joke about the Troubles in one of their hits, “Orange WORLD and the Green.” The Rovers are Gaelic lite, occasionally described as “the Peter, Paul and Mary of Ireland.” That said, they’re not opposed to drinking songs. 1013 K Street, www.the irishroversmusic.com.

—Kel Munger

—Trina L. Drotar

RESTAURANT ss BAR BAR CLUB ss RESTAURANT COMEDY COMEDY CLUB

THU 01/30

AY THIRSTY THURSD DJ KATZ DJ / BAND MIX SHOW HOSTED BY 9:00 PM // $5 FRI 01/31

ACKS THE 8-TR COVERS CLASSIC ROCK 9:00 PM // $8

SAT 02/01 80’S ROCK TRIBUTE:

JOURNEY’S EDGE

LOVEDRIVE / ACA DACA

JOUNEY / SCORPIONS / ACDC TRIBUTE 9:00 PM // $8 SUN 02/02

SHOWCASE SUNDAY OPEN MIC 9-12AM // FREE COMEDY 7-9PM // TALENT MON 02/03

KARAOKE 8PM // FREE TUES 01/28

GREATEST STORIES EVER TOL//DFREEDEAD // GARCIA DYLAN REVUE // 8PM WED 02/05

T PUB NIGH 4PM-CLOSE HAPPY HOUR

S: UPCOMING SHSTOW COVER BAND

2/8 JUKEBOX JOHNNY ALL REQUE

908 K STREET • SAC 916.446.4361 wwwMarilynsOnK.com

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THURSDAY 1/30 - SATURDAY 2/1 FROM MTV’S GIRL CODE!

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DAN GABRIEL, MARCELLA ARGUELLO WEDNESDAY 2/5

NEW FACES SHOWCASE THURSDAY 2/6 - SUNDAY 2/9 ALL AGES WITH PARENTAL SUPERVISION FROM MTV’S TEEN WOLF!

ORNY ADAMS

LEO FLOWERS, DANIEL HUMBARGER WEDNESDAY 2/12

RETROCRUSH COMEDY BOOMBOX

ROBERT BERRY, ELOISA BRAVO & MORE! THURSDAY 2/13 - SUNDAY 2/16 FROM JOHN OLIVER’S NEW YORK STAND-UP SHOW!

SHENG WANG SEAN KEANE, SHANTI CHARAN

THURDAY 2/20 - SATURDAY 2/22 FROM CHELSEA LATELY!

DOV DAVIDOFF CHRIS GARCIA, KEON POLEE

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01SAT

01SAT

03MON

04TUES

The Kelps

Element Brass Band

Dank Ocean

Zappa Plays Zappa

Luigi’s Fun Garden, 8 p.m., $6

Shady Lady Saloon, 9 p.m., no cover

Two Sacramento rock bands—the Kelps (pictured) and Honyock—celebrate the release of Go Dutch!, a new split EP featuring two songs from each band. Honyock mostly sticks to its indie-roots-rock sound, but with some maturity. “White Elephant” is a Beatles-inspired down-tempo rocker, and “Cop Test” is a catchy psychedelic dance-rock song. The always weird Kelps sing about troubled relationships in their songs. “Hello” is a happy indie-folk jam with a sudden burst of anger describing getting dumped, while “The Waltz Song” is a mellow tune that builds to anthemic ROCK heights, describing in creepy detail what one can only assume is the perspective of a stalker. 1050 20th Street, www.facebook.com/thekelpsmusic.

If you’ve never been to a show at the Shady Lady Saloon before, here’s the best way to enjoy it: Grab a beer or cocktail, a small plate SECOND LINE of food and sit down at a booth to check out the music. The music in question here on Saturday night will be provided by the Element Brass Band, a blend of jazz, soul and New Orleans funk, according to its Facebook page.

More accurately though, the band aspires to uphold the New Orleans Second Line tradition: a celebratory marching band with plenty of exuberant movement and interpretive dancing. The group also occasionally backs Sacramento hip-hop groups at live shows, creating a Roots-esque sound. 1409 R Street, www.facebook.com/elementbrassband.

The Press Club, 9 p.m., $5

Crest Theatre, 7:30 p.m., $45-$89

Chances are, if you’ve partied with the cool kids—read: not frat bros—at UC Davis, you’ve already seen Dank Ocean. The jazz quintet has been frequenting campus festivals and the house-party circuit for more than a year now. Employing bass, drums, keys and sax, Dank Ocean delivers a rich, funky sound known to turn basements into speakeasies. Stand in a dark corner and nurse a glass of whiskey, or break out your JAZZ dancing shoes and get ready to groove like it’s 1930. And temporarily ignore the fact that the guys in Dank Ocean say the word “dank” a lot—they’re smart kids. 2030 P Street, www.face book.com/dankoceanband.

—Janelle Bitker

—Jonathan Mendick

The more he plays his father’s music, the more Dweezil Zappa’s (pictured) guitar prowess grows. At this show, his band— which honors the music of the late, great Frank Zappa—will perform the Frank Zappa ROCK and the Mothers opus Roxy & Elsewhere. The live album featured a brilliant performance on synthesizer and keyboards by George Duke, who passed away last year. It also includes such instrumental classics as “Don’t you ever wash that thing?” and “Echidna’s Arf (of You).” Scheila Gonzalez, a crowd favorite the last time the Zappa Plays Zappa tour came through town, will be back to amaze on sax, flute, keys, vocals and all manner of onstage shenanigans. 1013 K Street, www.zappaplays zappa.com.

—Aaron Carnes

—Paul Piazza

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BEER AFICIONADOS

February 1 | 8pm | $7 Cover

The kAnes The rAdishes, drive-Thru MysTics

SAT 2/1 ~ 9PM ~ $10

V101 NIGHT

Featuring Big Al Sams and Dj Supe

February 2 | 1pm | no Cover

FRI 2/7 ~ 9PM ~ NO COVER

Dj Supe in the mix playing top 40 hits and interactive videos

AWARD WINNING LOCAL CRAFT BEERS ON TAP

SAT 2/8 ~ 9PM

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AnnuAl super Bowl pArTy wiTh kTp, BlAck MAckerel, peAce killers February 7 | 8pm | $10 Cover

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record cluB presenTs: rAdio rAdio 80’s dAnce nighT!

An American R&B and pop music group, active from 1983 to 1994, and best known for its #1 pop and R&B hit “The First Time” & “Shower Me With You Love” Presale tickets $25 - Door $35 VIP, Table & Tickets @ 916.226.2907

every Wednesday | 8-10pm | no Cover naughty trivia every Thursday | 4-7pm | no Cover happy hour Blues Jam

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3443 LAGUNA BLVD • ELK GROVE FACEBOOK.COM/PINSNSTRIKES PINSNSTRIKES.COM • 916.226.2695

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January 31 | 8pm | $6 Cover

MeMphis Murder Men reBel punk

Dj D Rock in the mix!

Spinning all your favorite jams

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NIGHTBEAT

THURSDAY 1/30

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

BADLANDS

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

Tipsy Thursdays, Top 40 deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

Saturday Boom, 9pm, call for cover

BAR 101

Karaoke, 7:30pm, no cover

BELL BOYS, , $5

TJ MCNULTY, 9:30pm, call for cover

BLUE LAMP

Blues jam, 4pm, no cover

MEMPHIS MURDER MEN, REBEL PUNK; 9pm, $6

THE KANES, THE RADISHES, DRIVE THRU MYSTICS; 8pm, $7

THE BOARDWALK

WILDERUN, BRUMAL, DIRE PERIL,

UNDERTOW, RECLAIM AND CONQUER, CHASING ROYALS; 7pm, call for cover

PILGRIM, KING NEVER, BALLISTIC BURNOUT, SIMPL3JACK; 8pm

BOWS & ARROWS

JULIET COMPANY, DEVIN WRIGHT, SWAHILI PASSION; 8pm, $5

BOATS, CHARLES ALBRIGHT, THE FOUR EYES, HIT RESET; 8pm, $5

101 Main St., Roseville; (916) 774-0505 1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 GRAVESHADOW, EXTIRPATE; 8pm 1815 19th St., (916) 822-5668

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384

TOMMY EMMANUEL, MARTIN TAYLOR; 8pm, $40-$50

GRACE TOTHEROW, 8pm, $7

MAXWELL HUGHES, 7pm, $12

DISTRICT 30

DJ Baggi Begovic, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Billy Lane, DJ Markz, 9pm, call for cover

PANIC CITY, 9pm, call for cover

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

MISS MASSIVE SNOWFLAKE, RAINSTICK COWBELL, MASON & DAMON; 9pm, $5

CITY OF TREES BRASS BAND, THE SINDICATE, HANS & THE HOT MESS; 9pm, $5

FACES

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Hey local bands!

HOT BUTTERED RUM, T SISTERS; 8pm, $22-$25 Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

FOX & GOOSE

BLT, 8pm, no cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

G STREET WUNDERBAR

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 2/3-2/5

Sin Sunday, 8pm, call for cover

Mad Mondays, 9pm M; Latin video flair and Wii bowling, 7pm Tu Trivia, 6:30pm M, no cover; Open-mic, 7:30pm W, no cover

Get Down to the Champion Sound reggae night, 9pm-2am, $3

Dragalicious, 9pm, $5

Queer Idol, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5; DJ Alazzawi, 9pm W, $3 Open-mic, 7:30pm M, no cover; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; Northern Soul, 8pm W, no cover

INFINITE VASTNESS, SUPERMUFF; 9pm, no cover

228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

HALFTIME BAR & GRILL

THE RIPOFFS, 9pm-midnight, no cover

SET IN STONE, 9pm-midnight, $5

PARADE OF LIGHTS, 6pm, $10-$12

MOONSHINER COLLECTIVE, THE BENNYS; 9pm, $10

TEMPEST, 7pm, $15; THE CHEESEBALLS, 10pm, $15

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

TURNBUCKLE BLUES REVIEW, EMILY O’NEIL, CHARITY ANN; 8pm, $5

HOT CLUB DE CARMICHAEL, 7pm, $5

THE 8 TRACKS, 9pm, $8

KISSER, LOVEDRIVE, ACA DACA; 9pm, $8

MICHAEL TOBIAS, THE MOONSHINE, OL’ FASHION; 8:30pm, $5

JONAH MATRANGA, KEVIN SECONDS; 8:30pm, $7

5681 Lonetree Blvd., Rocklin; (916) 626-6366

HARLOW’S

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR 1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931

MARILYN’S ON K

908 K St., (916) 446-4361

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

SUNDAY 2/2

DJ Mustard, DJ Oasis, DJ Everything, DJ Cos the Kid, DJ Go; 9:30pm, $10

THE COZMIC CAFÉ

594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

SATURDAY 2/1

ZION I, SOL, IANC, K-OTTIC, MK SMTH, AILERON; 7pm, $16

1000 K St., (916) 832-4751

List your event!

FRIDAY 1/31

ASSEMBLY MUSIC HALL

CORY NORRIS, JORDAN WEEKS; 8pm, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

Trivia night, 7:30-9pm Tu, no cover ; Karaoke, 8pm-midnight W, no cover

Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M, $5-$20; Comedy night, 8pm W, $6 Open-mic, 7pm, no cover

Jazz, M; RUBBUDY BUPPIDY, RED UNION BLUE, TIFFANY LORRAINE; 8:30pm W, $5

THE NICKEL SLOTS, TATTOOED LOVE DOGS, WHISKEY & STITCHES; 8:30pm, $7

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504

BRYAN S, noon W, no cover

Karaoke w/ Sac City Entertainment, 9pm Tu, no cover; Open-mic, 9pm W, no cover

1000 K Street, Sacramento, CA 95814

FOR TICKETS TO ALL SHOWS VISIT AssemblyMusicHall.com

For Rentals or Private Parties please contact AssemblyMusicHall@gmail.com

IANC, K-OTTIC, MK SMITH, AILERON

THU JAN 30 @ 7PM

SAT FEB 1 @ 7PM 21+ ONLY

DJ MUSTARD

FRI FEB 7 @ 7PM

SAT FEB 8 @ 6:30PM

UPCOMING SHOWS

36

SUN FEB 9 @ 6PM THIS OR THE APOCALYPSE SN&R | 01.30.14 |

THURS FEB 13 @ 7:30PM

BOBBY CALDWELL

SAT FEB 15 @ 8PM

FEB 20 FEB 22 FEB 26 FEB 28 MAR 01 MAR 02 MAR 05 MAR 08 MAR 11 MAR 13 MAR 14 MAR 15 MAR 17 MAR 21 MAR 22 MAR 23 MAR 24 MAR 25 MAR 26 MAR 27

REHAB SOME FEAR NONE PARADISE FEARS INCREDIBLE’ ME BAEZA WE BUTTER THE BREAD WITH BUTTER SUNNY LEDFURD GHOST OF THE ROBOT WE ARE THE IN CROWD INFECTED MUSHROOM RACHEL BARTON PINE THE SIREN SHOW PROTEST THE HERO THE KIN KUMANDE’S LIVE EXPERIENCE ALESANA BEING AS AN OCEAN BLACK LIPS CARNIFEX ANIMALS AS LEADERS

THURSDAY 1/30 ON THE Y

FRIDAY 1/31

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

SATURDAY 2/1

SUNDAY 2/2

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 2/3-2/5

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Open-mic comedy, 9pm, no cover

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

JEFFREY FOUCAULT, 8pm, $20

CAROLYN WONDERLAND, 8pm, $20

THE PARK ULTRA LOUNGE

DJ Eddie Edul, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Peeti V, 9pm-2am, $15

Top 40, Mashups, 9pm, no cover

DJ Club mixes, 10pm, no cover

DJ D Rock, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Big Al Sams and DJ Supe, 9pm, $10

13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825 1116 15th St., (916) 442-7222

PARLARE EURO LOUNGE

Top 40, 9pm, no cover

1009 10th St., (916) 448-8960

PINS N STRIKES

3443 Laguna Blvd., Elk Grove; (916) 226-2625

Asylum Downtown: Gothic, industrial, EBM dancing, 9pm, call for cover

PJ’S ROADHOUSE

DJ Old Griff, 9pm, no cover

STELLAR, 9pm, $5

MELONNEE DESIREE & CAUZIN’ A RUCKUS, 9pm, $5

POWERHOUSE PUB

TWO STEPS DOWN, 10pm, call for cover

MOTHER HIPS, 10pm, call for cover

NUNCHUCK TAYLOR, 10pm, call for cover

THE PRESS CLUB

2030 P St., (916) 444-7914

FLEX MONEY, AIR-DBL, FRENCH TOAST Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5 SUNDAYS, GUY GONZO; 6:30pm, $11-$13

SHADY LADY SALOON

THE AFTERLIFE, 9pm, no cover

SHENANIGANS

Comedy Night and DJ Selekta Lou, 9pm, $5

STONEY INN/ROCKIN’ RODEO

LACE AND LEAD, BRODIE STEWART BAND; 8pm, $5-$10

THE STATION

Salsa w/ Mike Del Campo and Mr. DJ Omar, 8:30pm, no cover; $5 after 9:30pm

TORCH CLUB

X TRIO, 5pm, no cover; CHRIS ZANARDI & HIS HIGH BEAMZ, 9pm, $5

5461 Mother Lode, Placerville; (530) 626-0336 614 Sutter St., Folsom; (916) 355-8586

1409 R St., (916) 231-9121 705 J St., (916) 442-1268

1320 Del Paso Blvd., (916) 927-6023

1100 Orlando Ave., Roseville; (916) 728-1166 904 15th St., (916) 443-2797

Juliet Company with Devin Wright and Swahili Passion 8pm Thursday, $5.

Bows & Arrows Alternative rock

Karaoke, M; DJs Alazzawi, Rigatony, Tu; SOUL SHINE, FULL FUNKY GORILLA; W

Top 40 Night w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9pm, $5

Sunday Night Soul Party, 9pm, $5

THE CRESCENT KATZ, 9pm, no cover

THE CONSTELLATIONS, REBEL RADIO, TUCO & BLONDIE; 9pm Tu, call for cover HARLEY WHITE JR., 9pm W, no cover

Deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover; $5 after 8pm

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30-7:30pm, no cover; MIND CLUB, 9pm, $8

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover; $5 after 8pm

Country dance party, 8pm, no cover

Comedy open-mic, 8pm M; Bluebird Lounge open-mic, 5pm Tu, no cover

Salsa with Mike Del Campo, 8:30pm, no cover; $5 after 9:30pm

Domingos Latinos with Mr. DJ Omar, 9pm, $5-$10

Blues jam session, 8:30pm Tu, no cover

WHOOPIE QAT, 4pm, no cover; KEVIN RUSSELL, 9pm, $8

Blues jam,4pm, no cover; BIG STICKY MESS, 8pm, $5

LEW FRATIS, 9pm Tu, $5; BRIAN CHRIS ROGERS ALLSTARS, 9pm W, $5

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FOR TODAY, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, STRAY FROM THE PATH; 6pm, $17

1417 R St., (916) 448-3300

CLUB RETRO

BATTLE OF THE BANDS, 6pm, call for cover

LUIGI’S SLICE AND FUN GARDEN

STORYTELLERS, CAPTAIN BILLY’S WHIZTHE KELPS, HONYOCK, COVE; 8pm, $6 BANG, CLUTTER FAMILY SINGERS; 8pm, $5

1529 Eureka Rd., Roseville; (916) 988-6606 1050 20th St., (916) 552-0317

SHINE

FENIX DRUM DANCERS, NAGUAL; 8pm, $5

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

Zion I with Sol, Ianc, K-Ottic, Mk Smith and Aileron 7pm Thursday, $16.

Assembly Music Hall Hip-hop

BERNER, REIGN, PLAYAH K; 7pm, $20

THE SILENT GAME, BALMS, PLOTS; 8pm, $5

Open jazz jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Friends, 8pm Tu, no cover

INSTAGON, EGG, WIZARD HAIR; 8pm, $5

February 7th

Hotel Package INCLUDES CLUDES

FREE TICKETS

Sunday unday unda ay - T ay Thursday Rate: R

&

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F FREE PLAY

At th

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USE PROMO CODE FFC13 TO BOOK ONLINE Must be 21 to Attend. Management Reserves All Rights ©2014.

Tickets available at colusacasino.com/entertainment.

3770 Hwy 45 • Colusa, CA • 530.458.8844 • www.colusacasino.com BEFORE

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what’s on your

horizon?

Join Horizon Non-Profit today for safe access to a wide variety of high quality medical cannabis.

Whether you prefer flowers, extracts, edibles or topicals, indica or sativa, we have the right medicine for you.

Whatever your medical condition or employment situation, you can come to Horizon knowing that we respect and hold your

health, well–being & privacy as our highest priority.

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new prices: high graDe 4 gram 1/8tHs – $50 | 8 gram quarter – $95 low graDe 4 gram 1/8tHs – $25 | 8 gram quarter – $50 special: 5 grams for $20! | single gram starting at $5! half 1/8ths available on all proDucts *all prices reflect starting prices, some strains may cost more. city & state tax extra. while supplies last.

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HORIZON NON-PROFIT COLLECTIVE 3600 Power inn rd suite 1a sacramento, Ca 95826 916.455.1931

Super Bowl 420

Bring in any competitor’s coupon and we’ll beat it by $5 Must present competitor’s ad. Some restrictions apply.

So, who is your pick to win the big “Bowl”?

—Frank the Dank I predict marijuana will win. And it won’t even be close. The Internet is already abuzz (you heard me) with excitement over the fact that this year’s Super Bowl contenders (the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos) come from Washington and Colorado. And, of course, weed is legal in Washington and Colorado.

Proof once again that marijuana is good for the BEALUM economy—think of all the T-shirts.

by NGAIO At the beginning of the football season, I wrote a column (see “Are you ready for some football?”

SN&R The 420; September 12, 2013) about how ’13 a s k420 @ ne wsreview.c om the National Football League should allow its players to use medical marijuana. Pot is a natural neuroprotectant, and football is full of concussions. In a recent interview, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was asked about medical marijuana, and he made a very noncommittal comment: “I don’t know what’s going to develop as far as the next opportunity for medicine to evolve and to help either deal with pain or help deal with injuries, but we will continue to support the evolution of medicine.” And while that may seem like a tepid My prediction is that response, it isn’t a flat-out the THC-hawks will rejection.

But forget helping playbeat the team from ers, look at the money! The NFL makes mad bank on the Mile High City merchandise. Who wouldn’t an official NFL weed26-17. Omaha! want themed snapback hat? I am sure the folks at Grassroots California would love to make one. How about a silicone dab pad that looks like a football field? Who wouldn’t want one of those? The tie-ins are endless.

The universe has a funny way of doing things.

Washington and Colorado legalize weed, and now their football teams are in the Super Bowl, and all people can talk about is marijuana. See, if California had legalized weed already, Oakland and San Francisco would have faced each other in 2011’s Super Bowl.

My prediction is that the THC-hawks will beat the team from the Mile High City 26-17. Omaha!

Will President Barack Obama’s recent remarks help the marijuana movement?

—Noel Nothing Hell yes. When the president of the United States of America comes out and says in an interview with The New Yorker that weed is not more harmful than alcohol, and that marijuana laws are used to oppress poor people (“Middle-class kids don’t get locked up for smoking pot, and poor kids do. And African-American kids and Latino kids are more likely to be poor and less likely to have the resources and the support to avoid unduly harsh penalties”), you can bet it will have an effect on people’s perceptions. Especially when he points out the hypocrisy of folks that think weed should still be illegal, even though they themselves have smoked marijuana: “we should not be locking up kids or individual users for long stretches of jail time when some of the folks who are writing those laws have probably done the same thing.”

These are strong words. Now it is up to us to get the rest of the politicians to go along. Legalize weed. Vote. Ω

Ngaio Bealum

is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert.

Email him questions at ask420@ newsreview.com.

BEFORE

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F E AT U R E

STORY

VOted 3rd best ’13 420 physician in sac! ’13

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Your information is 100% private and confidential Visit our website to book your appointment online 24/7 at

www.Sac420Doc.com | A R T S & C U L T U R E

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AFTER

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BEFORE

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NEWS

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last o harvesf markdo t wns big jar s ref a 10 of lect donati f on

FEATURE

STORY

| A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R

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golden health & wellness 1030 Joellis way, sac

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916.646.6340 monday–saturday 10am–7pm sunday 10am–6pm

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STORY

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| A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R

one hour

one coupon per customer. cannot be combined with any other offers.

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All massage advertisers are required to provide News & Review a current valid business license or somatic establishment permit issued by either the city or county in which they are operating in in order to run a printed advertisement.

Our patients are saying: “Clients are treated like family & the employees go above & beyond to help patients get what is the best for them.”

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| 01.30.14

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44 | SN&R | 01.30.14

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All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. Further, the News & Review specifically reserves the right to edit, decline or properly classify any ad. Errors will be rectified by re-publication upon notification. The N&R is not responsible for error after the first publication. The N&R assumes no financial liability for errors or omission of copy. In any event, liability shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error or omission. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): On my 15th

birthday, I finally figured out that eating dairy products was the cause of my chronic respiratory problems. From that day forward, I avoided foods made from cow’s milk. My health improved. I kept up this regimen for years. But a month ago, I decided to see if my long-standing taboo still made sense. Just for the fun of it, I gave myself permission to gorge on a tub of organic vanilla yogurt. To my shock, there was no hell to pay. I was free of snot. In the last few weeks, I have feasted regularly on all the creamy goodies I’ve been missing. I bring this up, Aries, because I suspect an equally momentous shift is possible for you. Some taboo you have honored for a long time, some rule you have obeyed as if it were an axiom, is ripe to be broken.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who won a Nobel Prize in economics, says that consulting experts may be useless. In his study of Wall Street traders, he found their advice was no better than information obtained by a chimpanzee flipping a coin. Meanwhile, psychologist Philip Tetlock did a 20-year study with similar results. He found that predictions made by political and financial professionals are inferior to wild guesses. So, does this mean you should never trust any experts?

No. But it’s important to approach them with extra skepticism right now. The time has come for you to upgrade your trust in your own intuition.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’m a big

fan of logic and reason, and I urge you to be, too. Using your rational mind to understand your experience is a very good thing. The less stock you put in superstitious head trips and fear-based beliefs, the smarter you will be. Having said that, I recommend that you also make playful use of your creative imagination. Relish the comically magical elements of your mysterious fate. Pay attention to your dreams, and indulge in the pleasure of wild fantasies, and see yourself as a mythic hero in life’s divine drama. Moral of the story: Both the rational and the fantastical approaches are essential to your health. (P.S. But the fantastical needs extra exercise in the coming weeks.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Sorry, Can-

cerian, you won’t be able to transform lead into gold anytime soon. You won’t suddenly acquire the wizardly power to heal the sick minds of racists and homophobes and misogynists. Nor will you be able to cast an effective love spell on a sexy someone who has always resisted your charms. That’s the bad news. The good news is this: If you focus on performing less spectacular magic, you could accomplish minor miracles. For example, you might diminish an adversary’s ability to disturb you. You could welcome into your life a source of love you have ignored or underestimated.

And you may be able to discover a secret you hid from yourself a long time ago.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Cosmopolitan

magazine is famous for offering tips on how to spice up one’s sex life. Here’s an example: “Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations, like peanut butter and honey or whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Put a dollop of, say, peanut butter on an area where you’d like to be licked.” That sounds crazy to me, and not in a good way. In any case, I recommend that you don’t follow advice like that, especially in the coming days. It’s true that on some occasions, silliness and messiness have a role to play in building intimacy. But they aren’t advisable right now. For best results, be smooth and polished and dashing and deft. Togetherness will thrive on elegant experiments and graceful risks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You are not

as broken as you may think you are. Your wounds aren’t as debilitating as you have imagined. And life will prove it to you this week. Or rather, let me put it this way: Life will attempt to prove it to you—and not just in some mild, halfhearted way, either. The evidence it offers will be robust and unimpeachable. But here’s my question, Virgo: Will you be so attached to your pain that you refuse to even see, let alone explore, the dramatic proof you are offered? I hope not!

BEFORE

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NEWS

photo by santiago meza

by ROb

For the week of January 30, 2014

bRezsny

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Kenneth

Rexroth wrote a poem called “A Sword in a Cloud of Light.” I want to borrow that image. According to my astrological analysis and poetic intuition, you will generate the exact power you need in the coming weeks by imprinting your imagination with a vision of a sword in a cloud of light. I don’t want to get too intellectual about the reasons why, but I will say this: The cloud of light represents your noble purpose or your sacred aspiration. The sword is a metaphor to symbolize the new ferocity you will invoke as you implement the next step of your noble purpose or sacred aspiration.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every

autumn, the bird species known as the Clark’s Nutcracker prepares for its winter food needs by burying 30,000 pine nuts in 5,000 places over a 15-squaremile area. The amazing thing is that it remembers where almost all of them are.

Your memory isn’t as prodigious as that, but it’s far better than you realize. And I hope you will use it to the hilt in the coming days. Your upcoming decisions will be highly effective if you draw on the wisdom gained from past events—especially those events that foreshadowed the transition you will soon be going through.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Can you imagine what it would be like to live without any hiding and pretending?

How would you feel if you could relax into total honesty? What if you were free to say exactly what you mean, unburdened by the fear that telling the truth might lead to awkward complications? Such a pure and exalted condition is impossible for anyone to accomplish, of course. But you have a shot at accomplishing the next best thing in the coming week. For best results, don’t try to be perfectly candid and utterly uninhibited. Aim for 75 percent.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It’s

a favorable time to gather up resources and amass bounty and solicit help and collect lots of inside information. I won’t call you greedy if you focus on getting exactly what you need in order to feel comfortable and strong. In fact, I think it’s fine if you store up far more than what you can immediately use—because right now is also a favorable time to prepare for future adventures when you will want to call on extraordinary levels of resources, bounty, help and inside information.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Extravagant wigs became fashionable for a while in 18th-century England. They could soar as high as 4 feet above a woman’s head. Collections of fruit might be arrayed in the mass of hair, along with small replicas of gardens, taxidermically stuffed birds and model ships. I would love to see you wear something like that in the coming week. But if this seems too extreme, here’s a second-best option: Make your face and head and hair as sexy as possible. Use your alluring gaze and confident bearing to attract more of the attention and resources you need. You have a poetic license to be shinier and more charismatic than usual.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One of your

anti-role models in the coming weeks is the character that Piscean diva Rihanna portrays when she sings in Eminem’s tune “Love the Way You Lie.” Study the following lyrics, mouthed by Rihanna, and make sure that in every way you can imagine, on psychological, spiritual and interpersonal levels, you embody the exact opposite of the attitude they express: “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn / But that’s all right, because I like the way it hurts / Just gonna stand there and hear me cry / But that’s all right, because I love the way you lie.” To reiterate, Pisces, avoid all situations that would tempt you to feel and act like that.

you can call Rob brezsny for your expanded Weekly horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. must be 18+. touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. and don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

|

F E AT U R E

STORY

The rules of funny Sometimes Mel Gelbart goes blue. In the comedy world, that means she talks dirty. As a cast member at

the Sacramento Comedy Spot (1050 20th Street, Suite 130), she can be seen playing new wacky characters—and occasionally vulgar ones—every week with different improv groups, including Lady Business and Anti-Cooperation League. She also directs the Harold program, coaching new comics the ways of improv. (Quick comedy lesson: Improv comedy is made up on the spot, sketch and stand-up comedy are scripted.) She’s worked with Comedy Spot owner Brian Crall since 2001, long before the Midtown club even opened, but she balances it with a heavy-duty job, too. Gelbart spends her days at the district attorney’s office, working with victims of juvenile crimes. Molestation. Assault. Burglaries. Sounds like a draining gig. Maybe that’s why she does comedy.

When did you first realize you were funny?

Birth. I’m the younger of two. My brother is the better-at-everything-else one.

He’s very good looking, very smart, very athletic. So, I think I just naturally fit in as the entertainer, the class clown, the prankster. I was the troublemaker in school.

Do you think humor can be taught?

Yeah. I think the principles of comedy can definitely be taught. I think some people have an inherent knack for it. Some people have timing or just get funny. But improv has rules. I can teach you the basic rules and put you onstage, and you’ll succeed.

And sketch is the same thing. You watch |

A RT S & C U LT U R E

Saturday Night Live, and you think, “I get it. You need these things to make it funny: You need an out at the end; it’s gotta have an arc; it’s gotta get bigger, heighten and get crazier; and then it’s gotta have a big punch. I can write that.” And we have somebody here who will teach you how. I don’t think everyone is naturally hilarious, but you can learn the craft. It’s an art form. Like anything else, you learn the rules and practice.

Common pitfalls for new students?

Trying to be funny. Trying to be dirty.

Going for a joke instead of letting it evolve naturally. If you go right out and rape the scene, it’s not going to be funny.

The audience is going to be taken aback.

I think you have to learn to take your time and find your laugh rather than force your laugh. You’ll see that with great stand-up. You’ll have that smooth lead in before they hit you with that hilarious punch line, and you won’t even see it coming. Improv is the same way.

You’ll have new students come in, and they try to do something crazy or wacky, and I’m like, “Chill. Take your time, follow the rules, set it up, have a relationship, have a location.” Because with improv, you don’t have props or costumes—you have to create a world. And so much about improv is trust and collaboration.

If I come out and do my one-man show of hilarious jokes, that’s not improv. It’s gotta be something we do together.

Have you ever done stand-up?

Once. I loved it, but it’s not for me. It’s very hard. It’s a lot of memorization. I like being able to not worry about it, show up and just do my thing. |

AFTER

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Is there anything you find really funny that most normal people find really unfunny?

I think when you’re doing improv, you start looking around you all the time. I’ll be sitting on the street and see someone and think, “Oh, that’s a character. That’s frickin’ funny the way that person walks or stands or is interacting with their friend—that’s priceless.” So I think I find the world in general funnier, and I see things maybe other people don’t see.

Does Sacramento have its own sense of humor?

I think we definitely have an angle. You see a lot of hipster comedy that people in other cities may not get, but since we have such a strong Midtown community, you’ll see a lot of people here really appreciate it. You start doing jokes about guys in skinny jeans and white belts, and everyone’s like, “Yeah, I know him.”

Future comedic goals?

No. It sounds so pathetic, but I feel like I’m getting old.

Really? How old are you?

It’s none of your business. I am very old. If I was younger, I might think about moving to a big city. But I’m so comfortable here. I love the community here. I love my house.

I love my job. My relationship is here. I like where I’m at in my life. I get my needs fulfilled here at the Comedy Spot. I’m not saying if someone walked in and said, “Hey, we’re doing this pilot, and we want to cast you in it,” I wouldn’t say, “Fuck yes, I’ll do a pilot.” But at my age, going to cattle calls and auditioning isn’t for me. I’m pretty happy here. Ω

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