S-2012-03-08

BISHOP SOTO

AND SEX see Frontlines, page 8 see Greenlight, page 12

A BAD ARENA

DEAL? see Bites, page 8

ART WALK THIS WAY see Second Saturday, page 25

COCKTAIL CHALLENGE see Arts&Culture, page 22

HIGH NOON WITH THE U.S. ATTORNEY see The 420, inside

SACRAMENTO’S NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

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VOLUME 23, ISSUE 47

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THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 2012

Sacrmento Ballet: Photo by Jay Mather

2nd Saturday March 10

SATURDAY, MARCH 10

DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS ROCK SUGAR SATURDAY, MARCH 17

SATURDAY, MARCH 24

Marcus Cortez: Photo by Ricky Berger: Photo by Rock Air: BobsPhotoShow.com Jesse Vasquez Photography Brooke Walker-Knoblich Photo by Jay Spooner

PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS

The Sacramento Ballet will open the doors of its studios for the Second Saturday Art Walk in March, with exhibits, entertainment and refreshments on Saturday, March 10 from 5:30 – 9:00 pm.

The evening will be a fusion of music, visual art and dance, and is FREE and open to the public.

Dance - Studio One:

• Open Rehearsal, Sacramento Ballet 5:30pm - 6:30pm Art - Lobby:

• Rock Air: A Tribute to the Sacramento Music Scene (by Jay Spooner Photography) • Midtown Musicians (Sketches) (by Brooke Walker-Knoblich)

Music & Dance - Studio Two:

• 6:30pm - Gabriel Levan Aiello • 7pm -Ricky Berger

with Sacramento Ballet dancers performing Living Sculptures

• 7:30pm -Marcus Cortez

with Sacramento Ballet dancers performing Living Sculptures

• 8pm - Shane Workman (from Syrius Jones)

BLUE ÖYSTER CULT SATURDAY, MARCH 31

OZOMATLI

SATURDAY, APRIL 7

CHICKENFOOT

FRIDAY, MAY 4 & SATURDAY, MAY 5 TICKETS ON SALE AT TICKETMASTER.COM ONLY!

Shane Workman

Events: • Live sketching by Brooke Walker-Knoblich And More!

At The Sacramento Ballet Studios: 1631 K street

Rockin’ & Rollin’

Tickets available at the Box Office, by calling 1-800-786-8208 or online at SouthShoreRoom.com.

Reggie Ginn: Photo by Cassi Harms

March 21 & 23 In-Studio event combining the local music scene with The Sacramento Ballet: 5pm doors open

5:30pm - Reggie Ginn

Sacramento Ballet: Photo by Keith Sutter

Solo Indie/Alternative Musician

6:30pm - SacBallet

preview of Modern Masters

8:00pm - The Mach 5

Home grown all stars, covering classic rock over the last 4 decades And more! All ages welcome

$25 (for the whole shebang, limited seating, on sale now) $5 (music only/standing room/sold at the door night of) At The Sacramento Ballet Studios: 1631 K street.

See box office for details and age restrictions. Shows subject to change or cancellation.

Must be 21 or older to gamble. Know When To Stop Before You Start.® Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. ©2012, Caesars License Company, LLC. SNR-030812

2 | SN&R | 03.08.12

THE

MACH REAL ROCK REVUE!

For tickets and more information: www.sacballet.org

INSIDE Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Director of Advertising and Sales Rick Brown Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Joy Webber Advertising Consultants Rosemary Babich, Josh Burke, Vince Garcia, Dusty Hamilton, April Houser, Cathy Kleckner, Dave Nettles, Kelsi White Inside Advertising Consultant Olla Ubay Events Interns Samantha Leos Operations Manager Will Niespodzinski Project Coordinator Anna Barela Sales Coordinators Shawn Barnum, Rachel Rosin Director of First Impressions Jeff Chinn Distribution Manager Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Noe Nolasco Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Nicholas Babcock, Walt Best, Daniel Bowen, Nina Castro, Jack Clifford, Robert Cvach, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Wayne Hopkins, Brenda Hundley, Wendell Powell, Warren Robertson, Lloyd Rongley, Larry Schubert, Duane Secco, Jack Thorne, Kaven Umstead President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Chief Operations Officer Deborah Redmond Accounting Manager Kevin Driskill Credit and Collections Manager Renee Briscoe Business Shannon McKenna, Zahida Mehirdel Human Resources Manager Tanja Poley Systems Manager Jonathan Schultz Systems Support Specialist Joe Kakacek Web Developer/Support Specialist John Bisignano Operations Intern Giovanni Sumulong 1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815 Phone (916) 498-1234 Sales Fax (916) 498-7910 Editorial Fax (916) 498-7920 Website www.newsreview.com SN&R is printed by The Paradise Post using recycled newsprint whenever available.

Editorial Policies Opinions expressed in SN&R are those of the authors and not of Chico Community Publishing, Inc. Contact the editor for permission to reprint articles, cartoons or other portions of the paper. SN&R is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts. All letters received become the property of the publisher. We reserve the right to print letters in condensed form and to edit them for libel.

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Editor Melinda Welsh Managing Editor Nick Miller Senior Staff Writer Cosmo Garvin Arts & Culture Editor Rachel Leibrock Copy Editor Kyle Buis Associate Copy Editor Shoka Shafiee Calendar Editor Jonathan Mendick Editorial Coordinator Kel Munger Special Sections Editor Becca Costello Editorial Interns Valentín Almanza, Jonathan Nathan, Matthew W. Urner Contributors Sasha Abramsky, Gustavo Arellano, Alastair Bland, Rob Brezsny, Larry Dalton, Josh Fernandez, Joey Garcia, Jeff Hudson, Eddie Jorgensen, Jonathan Kiefer, David Kulczyk, Jim Lane, Greg Lucas, Ann Martin Rolke, Garrett McCord, John Phillips, Patti Roberts, Steph Rodriguez, Seth Sandronsky, Amy Yannello Design Manager Kate Murphy Art Director Priscilla Garcia Associate Art Director Hayley Doshay Editorial Designer India Curry Design Melissa Arendt, Brennan Collins, Mary Key, Marianne Mancina, Skyler Smith Art Directors-at-large Don Button, Andrea Diaz-Vaughn

VoÒume 23, Issue 47 | March 8, 2012

NIGHT&DAY

SECOND SATURDAY

51 15 MINUTES

BEFORE

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FEATURE STORY

This year, we’ve got murders, stalking, cops in love and the apocalypse! Yes, welcome to SN&R’s annual Flash Fiction contest, in which our readers send us the most entertaining stories they can tell in 150 words or less. For 2012, we’ve got some repeat offenders—uh, writers—as well as some new talent bringing their best short-short fiction to the table.

Enjoy these tales of and remember— short is sweet!

Streetalk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Letter of the Week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Letters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

FRONTLINES

DISH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31

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8

SN&R’s owner Jeff vonKaenel sits down for a frank discussion with Bishop Jaime Soto on birth control. That’s right: The bishop actually sat down with SN&R to share some sex advice. Also this week: Bites’ Cosmo Garvin dissects the (bad) Sacramento Kings arena deal and Nick Miller reports on Monday’s Occupy the Capitol protests.

Bites . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Sex and the bishop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Beats. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Lessons from Stockton . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

ARTS&CULTURE

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There are no doubt many excellent bartenders in Sacramento. But can they, upon request, prepare a drink that’s not on their menu flawlessly and with a little bit a of style? SN&R contributor Becky Grunewald asked a handful of local mixologists to play along in this week’s cocktail challenge. Also: Greg Lucas visits legendary house of hot dogs The Wienery, and Anthony Nathan chats with skater Tristen Moss.

Popsmart. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Bartender, make mine a special. . . . 22 Scene&Heard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

GREEN DAYS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 Greenlight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Little goats, big results. . . . . . . . . . . . 13 An Inconvenient Ruth . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Eco-Hit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

OPINION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14 A wish for Isabelle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Editorial . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 This Modern World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Guest Comment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

SECOND SATURDAY . . . . . . . . . . . .25 Art picks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Art map . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

NIGHT&DAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28

Advertising Policies All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

The Wienery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 The V Word . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Dish Listings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Eat It and Reap. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Food Stuff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

COOLHUNTING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34 ASK JOEY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 STAGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36 Dial ‘M’ for Murder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 Moonlight & Magnolias . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 Now Playing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

FILM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38 John Carter. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Clips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

Check out SN&R’s FREE searchable EVENTS calendar online at www.newsreview.com.

MUSIC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40 Issac Bear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Eight Gigs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Nightbeat. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

AFTER

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Classifieds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Adult . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Free Will Astrology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 15 Minutes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51

THE 420

INSIDE

COVER DESIGN BY HAYLEY DOSHAY COVER PHOTO BY PRISCILLA GARCIA COVER MODEL IS RACHEL SPRAGUE

Events Calendar. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Shalom, cinema . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

CASH FOR YOUR CLOTHES 2101 L Street Sacramento 916.441.3733

NEW FOLSOM STORE NOW OPEN BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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6412 Tupelo Drive Citrus Heights 916.725.3733

850 E Bidwell, Folsom (next to Trader Joes) 916.985.3733

B U Y / S E L L / T R A D E C O N T E M P O R A RY FA S H I O N

FEATURE STORY

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

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AFTER

FREESTYLECLOTHING.COM |

03.08.12

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SN&R

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building a

HealtHy Sacramento

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“

I don’t know what kind of effort would be made right now if we hadn’t come together and created our network...this is why we are coming together.

Uniting Neighborhoods With a father in the military, Stephanie Francis grew up all around the country.

But her roots run deep in South Sacramento.

“This was a way to get people together who might only see each other on the way to the mailbox,” Stephanie said.

Stephanie’s family has lived in South Sacramento since the 50s, and the house her grandparents built in the area is still occupied by her family. After living in D.C. for 10 years, Stephanie moved back to South Sacramento in 2006.

Stephanie said Ubuntu Green gave the seed money for permits, barricades and the like, but left the organization of the block party to Stephanie and a collection of her neighbors. This was to be a party made by the neighborhood for the neighborhood.

Wanting to be active in her neighborhood, Stephanie took the opportunity to serve on the planning committee for the Building Healthy Communities initiative several years ago. That is where she met Charles Mason, the founder of the then-budding nonprofit Ubuntu Green.

After talking, Stephanie and Charles discovered that they saw a lot of the same problems in South Sacramento, one of them being a lack of community. They came up with the idea of hosting a block party in the Fruitridge Manor area in South Sacramento to inspire neighbors to get to know each other.

The event was wonderful, according to Stephanie, and a lot of hidden gems were discovered during the block party. It turned out a DJ lived in the neighborhood, and one of Stephanie’s neighbors played the trumpet. Neighbors discovered common interests and began to connect. Since that day, the neighborhood has changed for the better.

“It just feels different,” Stephanie said. “It feels like people are looking out for each other now.”

One example of this newfound camaraderie can be seen in how the neighborhood handled a problem with a foreclosed house that had been vandalized and used as a hub for illegal activities.

Stephanie and her neighbors banded together to make concerted calls to the property owner and the city about getting the house cleaned up and secured.

And in no time, that’s exactly what happened. Stephanie said a lone call to the property owner and the city probably wouldn’t have amounted to much, but the strength of the network her neighbors created yielded powerful results.

Currently, Stephanie and her neighbors are working together to create a safer environment for pedestrians. This became a cause for concern with the tragic death of a local 16-year-old girl who was hit by a car while crossing Fruitridge Road in January.

empowering Communities Founded in 2009 by Charles Mason Jr., Ubuntu Green is a nonprofit organization committed to promoting healthy, sustainable and equitable communities through advocacy, education and community empowerment.

The block party Ubuntu Green hosted with Stephanie Francis is just one example of its dedication to building healthy communities.

Ubuntu Green has taken on these endeavors to strengthen the capacity of residents and youth in Sacramento to advocate for themselves. Also,

Ubuntu Green seeks to transform land use and resource distribution by bringing the views and desires of each community front and center.

Mason calls it “creating bridges between communities and all levels of decision-making.”

For information on how to help, call 916-669-0671 or visit www.ubuntugreen.org.

www.CalEndow.org/HealthHappensHere www.UbuntuGreen.org

paid with a grant from the california endowment 4 | SN&R | 03.08.12

STREETALK Asked at Midtown book spots Time Tested Books, The Book Collector and the Lavender Library:

The first line of your novel?

Mazelle Zulema

Richard Hansen

Allie Rosenblum

Hayden Glines

bookseller

secretary

student

bookstore worker

Well, I write poetry, so it’d probably be something poeticlike.

You know what, there is this one line, and I can’t even remember what the book is or who wrote it, but I always loved it, so I’ll just use it. “I wanted to watch.”

BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

“As I stood at the corner of Redwood and Traction, everything unraveled.”

Yeah, those are actually names of streets in Sacramento, and the name of my novel would be Redwood and Traction.

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FEATURE

Oh my God. I need help.

“Once upon a time ...”: That’s a good way to start a story. I think that’s a captivating first line.

Maybe I would write a children’s novel.

STORY

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unpublished writer

I have no idea. Uh, “I am Hayden Glines, and this is my story.” I don’t know. I don’t know what I’d write about. It would take some brainstorming.

I’d have to read some books.

A RT S & C U LT U R E

David Ayotte

Robert Chesnosky

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catalog specialist

I’m actually in the process of writing a book about my experiences living on the street. I don’t want to tell you the opening line right now, because it needs to be revised. It’ll be something along the lines of George Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London, published in 1934, or Hunger by a Norwegian writer in the 1890s.

AFTER

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“New York City, Lower Manhattan, 1962.”

I picked that because I lived there then, and lots of great novels have been written about Manhattan; especially Lower Manhattan and especially below 22nd Street.

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SN&R

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LETTERS

Visit us at www.newsreview.com or email sactoletters @ newsreview.com

Who taught you to write?

FIRST SHOT SN&R reader photo of the week PHOTO BY STACY BARAWED

Re “Teachers are not royalty” (SN&R Letters, February 23): Like many of my colleagues, I read [Derek Link’s] letter to the editor and felt lambasted. I sat down to write a long rebuttal disputing many points in your letter regarding how good he thinks teachers have it when it hit me, why bother?

There are many people in our society who resent teachers. Whether it be caused by a poor experience in school or maybe just some ideology that teachers are “evil socialist liberals” responsible for the decline of society, we’re not sure. We don’t always hear it firsthand, but we know these feelings exist.

Let’s face it, Derek, we could argue you about your slanted math and reasoning, but it’s obvious we wouldn’t convince you. One thing I know for sure: You obviously don’t know a lot of teachers.

The ones I know and work with don’t walk around bragging about the new fancy car they bought or about the fancy clothes they wear. You’re more likely to overhear conversations about whether they know who is getting pink-slipped or if the same principal will be around the next year.

I’m not saying we’re not grateful, Derek. We are. But the thing you’re overlooking—and what, to me, is the biggest hole in your argument—is that teaching takes a certain kind of person with a certain set of skills. Those special skills LETTER OF are much like those of the well-paid consultants the district hired, THE WEEK but you don’t see the problem with them; it’s with us.

My question to you is this: If teaching is such a lucrative job with so much time off and—as you say—“only a [seven]-hour day,” then why aren’t people clamoring to become teachers? Why aren’t educational programs at colleges fighting off students?

And I ask the same of you. You seem intelligent, so why not share that with students, so they can have a promising future? Before you go off on some argument where you think teachers need to give many more concessions than they already have in a district with a proven experience of irrational spending, maybe you should think about why you chose to approach your argument from the standpoint of teachers as villains and consultants and six-figure district administrators as heroes.

By the way, where did you learn to write so well? I’m impressed. One thing I’ll bet: It wasn’t from your bus driver.

“Cheers!” This photo—winner of SN&R’s First Shot Sacramento Beer Week Challenge—was taken at Track 7 on February 24, shortly after the photographer devoured several tacos and mulitas from the Chando’s Taco truck.

To your excellent examples of other employer religions that have bans on various medical treatments, let’s add that of the Christian Scientists. Their belief is that there should be no medical treatment whatsoever; that prayer alone is the treatment for illness (I hope I have understood this correctly—my apologies to Christian Scientists if I have misrepresented their beliefs). Thus, if the Christian Scientist sets the standard for insurance coverage, no medical treatment at all will be covered.

The insurance costs should thus be zero.

Gee, with a financial bonanza like that, maybe all employers would embrace Christian Science.

This is one more case of one set of persons wanting to impose their own religious beliefs on someone else.

Peter Stanzler Davis

Catholics’ chain of command Re “Catholics and birth control” by Kel Munger (SN&R Frontlines, February 23): News flash! The Catholic Church is not governed by polls, as in your “58 to 62 percent of American Catholics approve.” It would not matter if 99 percent held some opinion. The church teaches and leads from the top down.

If a so-called Catholic wants to be in a church where the congregation leads, there are thousands of other denominations to choose from. Our culture, and liberals [and] progressives in particular, suffers from a fatal disrespect for authority.

The Catholic magisterium is the oldest continuously existing authority in the world today. (There may be some orthodox Jewish group that could challenge this claim.) Obviously, it is not hard to find some rebellious “Catholics”—whom you quote liberally in your article—who know better what Jesus taught and meant than the Church Magesterium.

I am a committed Catholic, and I support my pastor, bishop, all the way up to my beloved Pope. If an individual Catholic chooses to be their own final authority, vs. the established church hierarchy, then they’ve done what every Protestant has done for the last 500 years: set themselves up as their own pope.

BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

If any “authority” should be questioned here, it should be [President Barack] Obama’s. As president, his authority derives from his oath of office to defend and support the Constitution. Yet his [contraception] mandate (indeed, Obamacare in general) violates the letter and spirit of the First Amendment, which essentially restricts government from establishing a state religion (including secular humanism or atheism), or restricting the free exercise of religion. [Obama] has no respect for my constitutional rights, so I have no respect for him as president.

Correction In “Rebooting rail” by Cosmo Garvin (SN&R Frontlines, March 1), SN&R referred to the $10 million in rail bonds approved by voters in 2008. The correct figure is, of course, $10 billion. The error has been corrected online.

POET’S CORNER Hunger

Pam Green Davis

Rod Dwyre Roseville

They work Freedom of religion is for their wages Re “Teachers are not royalty” (SN&R an individual right Letters, February 23): Re “Contraception” (SN&R Editorial, February 23): Your editorial concerning insurance coverage of contraception is completely on target. Religious freedom is an individual right. One person (e.g., employer) cannot be allowed to impose his/her religious beliefs upon any other person (e.g., employee). The framers of the Constitution were quite familiar with the tendency of any dominant religion to try to ban all others, as the Puritans in Massachusetts banned (and in some instances, executed) Quakers.

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FEATURE

STORY

Before [Derek] Link gets carried away with his tirade, he should do some more research on the demographics he is quoting.

The [median] income in Sacramento county may be $50,000, but the demographics show that 51 percent of the wageearning age group in Sacramento county earn zero dollars, have never earned a dollar and have been on the dole all of their life. Teachers earn a good salary because they get up in the morning and go to work!

By the way, I’m not a teacher.

Lou Meyer Sacramento |

A RT S & C U LT U R E

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Have a great photo?

Email it to firstshot@ newsreview.com.

Please include your full name and phone number. File size must not exceed 10 MB.

AFTER

We eat pizza at Original Pete’s Groupon promoting capitalism Inside the Capital “Pepsi?”

There was no eye contact Until she saw my glass empty As if she could see all the fashions She could have for our dinners She burns image into my heart The exotic descent The one earring Lost in car (She thinks?)

She smiles at my observation “You’re the first to notice…”

(She winks?)

Cinnamon-crème complexion Worth more than the image of a Kingdom Built before the Arena Vanity However, this ice breaker is not key To open the chest marked

by X’s and O’s She’ll keep working in the city of trees Concrete and broken promises —Jeremy Greene

Folsom |

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FRONTLINES We did it?

ts the Bishop Jaime Soto suppor ference of position of United States Con ries the Catholic Bishops, which dec Obama administration’s new . contraception-coverage rule

It must be almost ribbon-cutting time on the new downtown arena.

Following the Kings-Utah Jazz game last week, just after a tentative arena-financing proposal was announced, Bites spied Sacramento City Manager John Shirey in the Power Balance Pavilion concourse, warmly receiving congratulations on

by COSMO GARVIN the deal from fans. The Malooves took the court while the PA system blasted “My Hero,” by the Foo Fighters, and they later were joined by Mayor Kevin Johnson who proclaimed, “We did it!”

The question now is, did what?

Bites is going to go out on a limb and guess that Tuesday (just after this column went to press), the Sacramento City Council voted to approve the arena term sheet. The vote was technically nonbinding, but it will certainly make it much harder for the city to extract itself from the deal as it moves forward.

You know the basics by now. The whole arena is estimated to cost $391 million, with the city’s share coming to $256 million, most of it coming from “monetizing” the city’s parking lots and meters.

Leading up to Tuesday’s vote, it was clear that some council members had heartburn about the outright privatization of parking. Under this concession approach, the city would lease the parking system to a private company for 30 or 50 years or so, in exchange for a big upfront payment, maybe $230 million.

(Maybe.)

The city’s general fund would The arena-financing lose out on $7 million to $9 million deal is still a long way in parking revenue every year.

The plan was to “backfill” from adding up. that general-fund money with ticket surcharges ($3.7 million), the city’s cut of arena profits ($1 million), ad revenue and other small money streams created by the new facility.

The problem with the concession approach is that city would also lose a lot of control over parking rates, but more importantly would give up millions in future revenue growth from rate increases and growing demand for downtown parking.

The whole notion of giving up that 30 or 50 years of future parking money for a lump sum today is, as one in-the-know city staffer put it off the record, a lot like going to a payday lender to get your arena money.

Which is why there’s growing interest in the “parking authority” model, in which the city would keep its parking revenue, and use it as collateral for about $230 million in bonds, which could then be used to build the arena.

But the details are still fuzzy on how those bonds would be paid off. “We’ve done no analysis under the parking authority model,” Assistant City Manager John Dangberg told Bites last week.

Let’s assume that the revenue streams used to pay off those bonds would be the same set of surcharges and other pots of money used for “backfill” under the concession model—about $7 million in new revenue.

The problem is that just paying back those bonds would likely cost more than the new revenue.

Really, you can go online and find one of those loan-amortization calculators. Plug in $230 million, and an interest rate of, say, 3 percent. Put in a term of 30 years. You’ll get an annual payment of about $11.7 million, much more than the $7 million generated to backfill the general fund.

Dangberg wouldn’t respond to this bar-napkin math, because, after all, they haven’t done that analysis yet. Surely, the city has some expensive consultants on hand with better, more expensive math to show why the average citizen shouldn’t try to figure these things out.

Still, it seemed there was an awful lot of pressure on the city council to vote “yes” on Tuesday, on something that many of them probably don’t understand much better than the average citizen.

Asked what he thought about that, Dangberg just said, politely enough, “That’s your opinion, I’m not going to respond to it.”

Fair enough. After all, we did it. Didn’t we? Ω

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Sex&THE BISHOP SN&R speaks frankly with Bishop Jaime Soto about the church, Obama and birth control

Catholic Bishop Jaime Soto offered a recent Marriage Day Mass, for couples wishing to renew their wedding vows, at the Cathedral of the by Jeff vonKaenel Blessed Sacrament. Afterward, he joined SN&R president Jeff vonKaenel in the basejef fv@ ment of the church for a one-on-one newsreview.com conversation about the recent political photos firestorm about whether employers at by Catholic institutions should be required to Anne Stokes provide their employees with health-care plans that cover contraception. Bishop Soto—who oversees dozens of Catholic churches, elementary and high schools, and social services organizations in a huge diocese encompassing 20 counties, including the Sacramento region—was content to answer The Affordable Care Act of 2010 requires vonKaenel’s questions about everything from employers to offer birth control to premarital sex. The following health insurance that is an edited version of their conversation.

includes coverage for contraceptives without any copayment. After heavy criticism from Catholic groups last month, President Barack Obama amended the rule so that religious schools, hospitals and charities can avoid paying for contraceptives as long as their insurance carriers do.

For a behind-thescenes look at this interview, see vonKaenel’s Greenlight column on page 12.

Jeff vonKaenel : I want to ask you about the recent controversy. The Catholic bishops are opposed to President Barack Obama’s plan to require health insurers to provide free birth control to women, even if religiously affiliated employers, such as Catholic hospitals and universities, aren’t forced to pay for it. Why are the bishops so vehemently against this?

Bishop Jaime Soto: What’s happening is the administration is redefining what a church is, and that’s problematic. Because Obama will say, if you’re this kind of church, and you only serve your members, then that’s a church. But these other things—like hospitals and schools—are not a church. And that’s a problem for us. Because those other things are a part of what the church is. So that’s what got

the bee in our bonnet. Contraceptives are very prevalent in society, but what’s profoundly troublesome about this ruling is that he is redefining religious organizations.

It’s even hard to believe contraception is still controversial. I’m imagining a married couple coming in to you saying, “Your Excellency, we’ve had three kids, we can’t have anymore, we can’t afford it. We want to be good Catholics, but we want to keep our marital relations going.” What advice would you give this couple?

Contraceptives, unfortunately, have become the default position for marriage. I know many Catholic couples whose relationships start out with contraception—their relationships, from the very beginning, are defined by this.

We have taken sexual intercourse, sexual union and said that procreation has nothing to do with that. And what’s happened with what I call the contraceptive culture—it’s basically reinforced that idea that sex has nothing to do with children. That’s a problem for us, because the church believes that sexual union has a lot to do with children, and that that is part of what the expression means. Our primary concern is how the contraceptive culture has redefined sexuality and also redefined marriage so that procreation is something else.

The church does teach that it’s important for a family, a young couple or any couple to plan their family and give it serious thought.

We try to encourage natural family planning and that, in some sense, is a contraceptive practice. The church is against, how should I say, against a chemical and in many cases a

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The Occupy shift toxic means of contraceptive. So a young married person who says, “We’ve got three kids, yada, yada, yada,” I would counsel her, and it’s usually a her, that she and her husband need to sit down and talk.

OK. So talking is the alternative to birth control?

We counsel a woman to have a conversation with her husband so that the two of them make that decision together and look at and explore and learn that there could be better ways for them to plan their family in a way that would be not just healthier for her body, but also could be healthier for the relationship. In my own experience, listening to women in the confessional, I find that contraceptives become the solution for the distrust that she has in her spouse. Instead of dealing with ambiguity in the relationship or mistrust or lack of communication or violence, the women opts for, or is even sometimes encouraged to just take contraceptives, and then you won’t have to worry about those things. Well, that isn’t going to save her marriage.

I’ve read that 98 percent of Catholic women, at some point in their lives, have used some form of birth control. So, it seems they aren’t buying the church’s position, right? It’s kind of bizarre.

Well, human life is bizarre in a certain sense.

Let me give these examples. A lot of Catholics in this church come and listen to me and compliment me and say what a wonderful job I’m doing. But they also know that I am very supportive of immigrants and believe in immigration reform, and they think that’s terrible. And if I brought that up in the homily, they wish I wouldn’t have brought that up.

The bishops came out in support of this SAFE California—which seeks to end the death penalty in California. But I bet you there are probably a good number of folks here who think that’s a terrible idea. But they still say, “Wasn’t that a wonderful homily,” and “Wasn’t that a wonderful celebration.” Catholics are struggling with a lot of different issues, not just contraceptives, because the church’s teaching is difficult.

It’s a challenge.

If I surveyed 100 priests and asked them their views about the death penalty, I think the vast majority would be against the death penalty. If I asked them about helping the poor, the priests would be for helping the poor. But if the Vatican announced “We’re going to change our mind on birth control,” my sense is the priests would say, “Oh, thank heavens.”

Well, I don’t know. I’ve spoken to a lot of priests who are probably uncomfortable on the church’s position on death penalty and immigration. And if I write a letter about these things, they will put it in the bulletin, but they BEFORE

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don’t talk about it. Actually, you know, I will preach on the death penalty and immigrants and marriage and sexuality, and most priests aren’t going to do that because they are just going to stay away from anything controversial. So, it’s not just contraceptives, it’s almost any social issue. It’s a challenge for us, and not just for priests, but most preachers. It takes courage and creativity to preach a difficult message.

Some people say the absence of contraceptives will lead us to 12 billion people in the world, and that is going to lead us to bad outcomes.

I don’t necessarily think that is the case.

Because what happens in the current environment is that contraceptives are promoted while other things are not. And so it becomes the default position that poor women should use contraceptives, because we don’t want any more poor kids, as opposed to saying poor women need an education. Poor women need better health care. Poor women need more economic opportunities, because the level of education and health care also brings down the size of families.

“Our primary concern is how the contraceptive culture has redefined sexuality and also redefined marriage so that procreation is something else.”

Bishop Jaime Soto Today I was sitting in the pews, and the couple next to me was delighted to be having their 50th anniversary. I asked if they had any children, and they said they had three children, ages 45, 43 and 41. Now, my guess would be that there’s a reason there wasn’t a fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh child.

Oh, I don’t know, yeah. Could be that both of them worked (laughs).

Well, not having contraceptives would have weakened my marriage.

My response is that the “contraceptive way” has become the habitual way that couples manage a marriage, and they can’t imagine a marriage without it. And that’s somewhat problematic. Marriage has become chemically dependent.

As an outsider, frankly, I’m confused by all this.

I like the poverty message of the church, but I don’t understand why the bishops have picked |

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this issue to focus on.

We didn’t pick this issue—it was thrown at us. It’s what’s happening and how religious organizations are now going to being defined. We have a significant portion of religious organizations [schools, hospitals, social-service groups] that are being taken out of our control. And that is what’s upsetting to us. The federal government now says they can deem what is acceptable or not. We used to have the conscience clause for these organizations, and we will no longer have that. For example, if we wanted to serve immigrants, if we didn’t want to do euthanasia, if we wanted to serve the poor.

So you think this is a slippery slope?

No, I don’t think it is. These organizations are ours, and we have always been granted the conscience clause that allows our institutions to remain Catholic and to also remain under the church’s control. And that’s been defined differently by this administration. And that’s really the crux of this issue. And we didn’t pick that issue. We were begging the administration to give us the conscience clause.

But think of a woman employee at, say, a Catholic school. She has to pay $600 a year on contraceptives—that’s a huge bill for her.

She’s struggling to make things work, but she’s hooked in this twilight zone between the religious and the secular world.

Let me ask this other question: What about those other areas? We serve immigrants, we serve the poor, and what if the federal government says, “Well, I don’t want you to do that.”

I have folks that think it’s great that the bishops are standing up [to] the Department of Health and Human Services thing, and then they beat me over the head when I talk about immigrants. And that’s fine, I take it one way or the other (laughs). My job is not to take a poll on these issues, but to try teaching what the integrity of the Gospel is about. But in some sense, contraceptives are one thing, the contraceptive culture that we have has made it the default position on a lot of different things.

I don’t want to harp on this, but one of the things that I talk about with regards to marriage preparation—I say if we aren’t teaching young people a good healthy Christian sense of sexuality, pre-adolescent and adolescent years, by the time they ever walk into the marriage preparation class … they are already oriented to having contraceptives as a habitual part of their lives.

Speaking as a parent, the thought that I would ever urge my kids not to take advantage

“SEX AND THE BISHOP” continued on page 10

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Febreze and a millionaire’s tax. Potty breaks and the absolution of student debt. Pizza, soda and a revision of Proposition 13. When college students occupy the Capitol for a day, these are the type of demands you get: visionary, dormitory.

UC Davis student Dave Buscho stood and watched the scene underneath the rotunda dome this past Monday afternoon. The mechanical-engineering senior was an early adopter to the UC occupy movement, one of the dozen who received Officer John Pike’s pepper spray last November. He praised Monday’s Occupy the Capitol action for both focusing Occupy efforts on legislators and also bolstering the students’ intra-campus network.

“It’s brought a lot of people from around the state together, face to face, which I think is really cool,” Buscho said.

“I think that’s actually going to be the really #Letthempee. important, long-term benefit from today.”

Indeed, the day-long action, which began with a noisy, thousands-strong march from Southside Park to the Capitol’s west steps, shook the halls of power, even if the 68 protesters that stayed past curfew ended up going to jail without concessions from the Legislature. Or a slice of Round Table.

Stern-faced California Highway Patrol officers in roundbrimmed campaign hats cordoned off the rotunda’s four entrances early in the day. They blocked activists from using the toilets and looked on for hours as some 200 students relayed echo-drenched “mic check” messages to hundreds more hunkered down in the Capitol hallways. It reeked of unrest; you can’t spell rebellion without B.O. Students filled out ballots to rank their top-five demands for the state Legislature. At 5:30 p.m., a tall, lanky brunette with curly hair, who was later arrested, yelled the winners out loud: 1. Pass a millionaire’s tax.

2. Cancel all student debt.

3. Democratize the CSU and UC regent boards.

4. Fully fund all education in California.

5. Amend Proposition 13.

Democrats in the Capitol halls joked about requests to modify Prop. 13 or the two-thirds majority vote on the budget—“If they only knew”—and Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom even snuck into the rotunda just after 3 p.m. He sat in a circle with protesters and listened to complaints. Some engaged in serious dialogue. Others begged him to make CHP let them use the restrooms.

Most chanted “Gavin go home! Gavin go home!”

“What frustrates me is people say no one listens, so I come in to listen, and they tell me to go away,” Newsom told SN&R, laughing.

Some morning activists, who snacked on the Capitol lawn outside during the afternoon, even tried to sneak pizza and drinks in to the occupiers, to no avail.

By closing time at 6 p.m., CHP and city police far outnumbered occupiers. Some 80 law-enforcement vehicles blocked lanes of traffic on N Street. Dozens more dotted the neighborhood. Hundreds of riot-gear clad police, some five rows deep, held ground in front of the building’s west steps.

More CHP roamed the halls inside. And a really annoying whirlybird cut through the downtown sky well past 9 p.m.

Even the media—local, state and national—outnumbered protesters at the day’s end.

Occupy deadline. (Nick Miller) |

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FRONTLINES “SEX AND THE BISHOP” continued from page 9

of contraceptives—it just wouldn’t happen. I would be so afraid of the outcome.

The good thing is that if you talk about sexuality with your kids, you will have already made a significant impact. Just bringing it up and trying to create some kind of environment for talking about it with your kids. A lot of families don’t.

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I don’t think I ever did. I don’t think I ever talked about sexuality with my kids.

Oh, you didn’t?

I was really bad. I let Planned Parenthood explain it to them.

(Both laugh.)

One thing we advise parents to stress with their children, obviously in an age-appropriate way, is to have respect for their bodies and to have respect for their sexuality and to realize what a wonderful gift it is. And it’s a gift that you have to be responsible with. And you also have to treat the other person with respect. I think those are really important things that can go a long way. Now, helping young people understand what they are going to be hearing outside and what the church teaches and I think not to speak to young people about what the culture is teaching them, including about contraceptives, would probably be naive.

Honestly, I had [sexual] partners before I met my wife, and she had partners before she met me. And I am glad we did. Frankly, I think if I had to marry the first person I had sex with, it would have been a disaster. To be really candid, it would scare me if my kids married the first person they connected up with.

We’re kind of going off the deep end of the pool on this. I guess I see it really differently in the sense that the presumption that sexuality is intimacy is a mistake. Because sexuality can be a very intimate expression, but a lot of times sexuality becomes a way of avoiding intimacy.

I certainly in my life have had both. So, I’m not disagreeing with you. But I think not to have experiences before you get married is frankly more dangerous.

Well, I don’t know. I guess I disagree on that.

How unreasonable do you think my position is? I really believe in trying to have a successful marriage.

There was a time when there was a double standard with men and women about this. You know, where the guy goes out and fools around but, you know, “My wife has to be a

Bishop Soto is leader of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sacramento, which covers a swath of 42,000 square miles and 20 counties in Northern California. Sacramento is one of just 12 dioceses in California.

virgin.” And that still exists in a lot of cultures, and in that sense, the church is pretty consistent in that it’s not a good idea for either. Now the current cultural situation where the women have become like men in that exploratory phase, I’m not sure we’re better off. And I wonder about the impact. And I wonder in some sense whether the experience has more impact on women than it does on men. And I’m basing that in some sense on more anecdotal experience. I listen to a lot of people when they come to confession.

If there’s anytime that people are irrational, it is when sex is involved. So to speak against contraceptives knowing our poor brains are hardwired for a lack of rationality at that very moment it is most needed—isn’t that playing with gasoline?

Yes, in some sense. I realize that this is very counter-cultural what I’m saying. But we Catholics and preachers and teachers, we do our own tradition a disservice by not speaking more about sexuality from the pulpit or in the classroom in a way that begins to help shape young peoples minds and consciences and the decisions they make. The fact that we don’t, it creates this vacuum, where the young begin to form habits that will not serve them well.

I would wish the Catholic Church would come in with the same level of passion and concern about issues like the destruction of the safety net.

But we have been fairly vocal about it. For example, the bishops in California, we published a letter on the budget. The media just ignored it.

That’s fair. Now what did you think of the budget?

Well, we raised a lot of different issues, and one of them is the safety net and mutual sacrifice, and how California is getting into some very tough times. We all have to make sacrifices, not just the poor. And we also actually try to address the issue of taxation, hopefully in an articulate way. And again, the media just ignored that letter. And then Obama comes out with this contraception thing, and all of a sudden now, this is sex, this is what these guys care about. But we don’t care about it, you do!

That’s fair, that’s fair. But let me ask you this: What about Catholic voters in November? Are they supposed to choose a candidate who supports the church’s idea of religious freedom on this issue, but not your position to help the poor, since that candidate will likely be ready and willing to destroy the Social Security system and give greater tax That’s one paradigm. The other pararelief to the rich? digm to me would be that Catholics are Folks are going to have a tough time looking at this problem is a way that making that decision, and I’m not runs counter to brain circuitry. going to say who they should vote One thing I would say about the sex- for, because we don’t even know uality focus, some people would say who the candidates will be; we that we are obsessed with it. From know who one of them will be. But I another point of view, we think the think that from a preacher or teacher culture is obsessed with it. point of view, I don’t think my job is to tell somebody what candidate that Well, the two are not mutually exclusive. they should [vote] for, my job is to We didn’t pick this issue. We have try to illuminate the issues and try to a lot of other issues that people NEW S &people R E V I E W B Uhelp SINE S S U Sunderstand E O N L Y the issues. don’t agree with usDESIGNER about and thatISSUE DATE ACCT. EXEC. AL But 06.18.09 REMtrump contraception we are pretty vocal about.

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Arena debt was part of the slide, possible bankruptcy If you build it, they will come. But for Stockton, not as many came as expected. And now, a bankruptcy judge might come, too. by Stockton, a city that built a brand-new Jonathan Mendick arena in 2005, now can’t pay its debt and jonathanm@ limps towards bankruptcy. Sacramento, poised newsreview.com to spend $256 million of city money on a new arena, might want to consider the experience of its neighbor just 50 miles south.

“We have issues with gangs and drugs and less tools to fight [them],” says Stockton City Councilwoman Susan Eggman. “So, yeah, some would say, rather than [build] that arena—it was before I was on the council— they could have really invested that money in neighborhoods [and] we may have been able to weather this storm better.”

Last Tuesday, the Stockton City Council voted to undergo mediation to avoid bankruptcy. If the city is able to work with unions, creditors and bondholders to restructure its debt, it will hopefully avoid that fate. If not, it will be the nation’s largest city—population nearly 300,000—to file Chapter 9. And then a bankruptcy judge will intervene, determining which bills get paid.

Building the Stockton Arena—which cost $69 million (more if you include infrastructure)—was a contributing factor to the city’s current problems, says Eggman—but hardly the only one. She mentioned a ballpark, redevelopment projects and other expenditures—during

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years of economic boom—contributing to nearly half-a-billion dollars in bond debt.

It was like a “perfect storm,” she says, citing high unemployment and foreclosure rates, and a big, unfunded retiree health-care liability of more than $400 million, as additional factors in the debt problem. The city’s general fund has become reduced to the point, Eggman says, it would be unsafe to cut any more services.

Sacramento, according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, also has a higher than national average unemployment rate. And according to RealtyTrac in January, Sacramento’s foreclosure rate was the nation’s seventh highest. (Stockton’s rate topped the list.)

Eggman wouldn’t comment on Sacramento’s arena proposal, but she did mention where the Stockton Arena went wrong financially.

“One of the mistakes being made with our arena was the contract they did with [International Facilities Group] who [managed] the arena; it wasn’t in the best interest of the city,” says Eggman. “We have a new arena manager [now], SMG, who is trying to turn some things around. The problem was [the arena] was very expensive, and it hasn’t provided the return more optimistic people thought it’d provide.” Ω

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916-966 -7452 Occupy Capitol or Occupy naptime? Thousands of students, teachers, union members and activists marched on the Capitol Monday, March 5, to protest cuts to and the privatization of higher education. Later, more than five dozen were arrested during an occupation of the Capitol (see page 9 for more coverage).

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

Dr. John Champlin, M.D. 6651 Madison Avenue Carmichael, CA 95608 |

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GREENLIGHT

Sex, politics and religion

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Bishop Jaime Soto and I respectfully agreed to disagree

In the basement of the Cathedral of Blessed Sacrament, Catholic Bishop Jaime Soto and I had a pleasant, freewheeling discussion about the recent contraception controversy, premarital sex, politics and religion. In other words, we talked about the very things most people go out of their way not to talk about.

Given that I am an alternative-newspaper publisher celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary this year, and Bishop Soto is a Catholic bishop, we found some points of disagreement.

But even though we disagreed, I wanted to better understand his point of view. And to his credit, he seemed to thoroughly enjoy being questioned, and to appreciate the opportunity to present a different view to what he called “the contraceptive society.”

I hope you enjoy the interview in this week’s paper. I certainly appreciate Bishop Soto taking the time to speak to me and his openness during our discussion.

As you can see, my own life experiences—as a sexually active young man, then as a father of teenagers, and today as a husband married for 30 years—led me to very different conclusions about contraception than Bishop Soto’s.

But while the bishop and I disagreed on many points about premarital sex and birth control, we did agree about something very We talked about the very important: marriage. On the things most people go out of day I interviewed the bishop, also attended his special their way not to talk about. IMarriage Day Mass, where couples throughout the region celebrating milestone anniversaries came to renew their vows.

It was cool attending mass in a Cathedral filled with people who were proud of their marriages. It was moving to see couples in the pews wipe away tears as they repeated their vows. I know that my wife Deborah and I would have done the same.

When setting up the interview, I mentioned that I Read Jeff vonKaenel’s had been married for a long time. The bishop asked interview with Bishop Jaime Soto on page 8. me how long, and he then asked me for the actual date. I had the impression that if we’d achieved our 30th anniversary, he would have offered me the certificate he gave the other couples. It would have been nice. I would have even paid the $20 for a photo with the bishop. And I’m not even Catholic.

Hanging around, I realized I enjoyed being part of a special day for so many people. I appreciated his support of these couples’ marriages, despite our disagreement on contraception.

It’s helpful in discussions to start with your points Jeff vonKaenel is of agreement, and that is what the bishop and I did on the president, CEO and that Saturday morning. We were two people who both majority owner enjoy celebrating successful marriages, who happen to of the News & Review disagree on the way to get there. And I believe that newspapers in Sacramento, Chico our ability to find a point of agreement made the rest and Reno. of the more contentious conversation possible. Ω

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AN INCONVENIENT

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RUTH

Little goats, big results

Fishing without eyeballs Call her boring or old fashioned—you won’t be the

Bovids do wonders at a Northern California farm I used to think that goats, while cute, were intimidating, head-butting, unruly little animals. All that changed with by Kat Kerlin a trip to Northern California’s Castle Rock Farm.

Sarah Hawkins and Andy Pestana of Castle Rock breed Nigerian dwarf goats. They are—not surprisingly— small, less than 2-feet tall. They come in all manner of colors common of livestock: brown, black, white, speckled and spotted. Most impressive to me, they were just so friendly.

At first, I wasn’t sure if I could let my 2-year-old daughter, Lily, pet them.

“Oh, sure,” encouraged Hawkins.

Within a minute, Lily was surrounded with about five or six yearlings who gently nudged her as she stroked their coats, giggling.

Being goats, they did nip the zippers on our jackets and tug on my hair, but all very gently.

“Tickle your jacket!” said Lily.

“They’re like babies,” said Castle Rock Farm Hawkins. “Everything goes in their breeds Nigerian dwarf goats on its 5-acre mouths.”

Nigerian dwarf goats have a repfarm. It also sells eggs, herbs, seasonal utation for friendliness—though the vegetables, and runs bottle-feeding they get twice a day English Hills Soap Company. For more also helps warm them up to human information, visit handlers. Hawkins said the bottlewww.castlerock feeding is not because the kids’ farm.net. mothers don’t want to feed them, but to reduce risk of disease in the kids Kat Kerlin blogs at and mastitis in the mothers. http://farmophile.

Hawkins and Pestana have been wordpress.com. doing quite a bit of bottle-feeding lately. They’re right in the middle of kidding season. Since January, 25 kids have been born, and the season isn’t expected to stop until May. Castle Rock Farm has been Green Days is on the lookout for innovative breeding goats for about 8-and-a-half sustainable projects years on this 5-acre property. While throughout the Sacramento region. the Nigerian dwarf goats’ personality Turn us on at goes a long way, it has other favorsactonewstips@ able attributes. newsreview.com.

Hawkins was originally drawn to Nigerian dwarf goats because their small size made them easy to handle and transport. The average doe weighs about 75 pounds.

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Nigerian dwarf goats are less than 2-feet tall and exceedingly friendly. Their milk tastes good, too.

“I don’t need help to wrestle these guys,” she said. “I always win a contest of will with them.”

And while, like most living things, you could eat them if you really wanted to, they’re most appreciated as dairy goats. Their butter fat is higher (4.5 percent to 9 percent) than most dairy goats (3 percent). Hawkins said their sweet milk is particularly good for goat cheese, as well as goat-milk ice cream, and goat yogurt, and of course, milk.

Soaps, scrubs and lotions in a variety of scents are available as part of English Hills Soap Company, which she sells at the Davis Farmers Market.

“This stuff, if you did a blind taste test, you’d think you were drinking half-and-half,” said Hawkins.

Their size, and the large amount of milk they produce relative to their size—up to a half-gallon per day— make them a nice option for urban farmers, too.

“They’re a great size for a backyard,” said Hawkins. “They don’t bark, and you can use their poop for fertilizer.”

Hawkins started a side business making goat-milk-based skincare products. Soaps, scrubs and lotions in a variety of scents are available as part of English Hills Soap Company, which she sells at the Davis Farmers Market.

And while goats take center stage at Castle Rock, the farm also plays host to a flock of chickens, a llama, a border collie named Stella and an Armenian Gampr dog named Minnie.

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There are also boxes of bees in a bee garden, which is planted with California native plants propagated in the couple’s greenhouse.

“This is what we should look like, right here,” said Pestana, referring to the region and motioning toward the bee garden planted with poppies, manzanita, sage, yarrow, sage, coffeeberry and other plants.

Hawkins and Pestana are trying to re-vegetate much of their property with native plants, particularly along a seasonal stream bed that flows along the perimeter. These plants do more than prevent erosion; they’ve also noticed a significant increase in beneficial insects since planting them. It’s a nice sign as they continue the slow work of improving their soil, which is recovering from years of herbicide use by previous owners.

We say our goodbyes and return home. I walk into our backyard, grass growing too high for its own good, and consider, at least for a moment, trading in the lawn mower for something far cuter. Ω

first—but Aunt Ruth loves watching a truism elevate into that maligned category of cliché. What a clichéd phrase lacks in flashy truthiness, it makes up for as something you can let your elbows rest on, something enduring.

Take this old chestnut: Give a person a fish, and they have food for a meal; teach a person to fish, and they have food for a lifetime.

Auntie Ruth doesn’t much like to fish— she’s easily bored, has a native aversion to sports with waders, and fish eyeballs make her a bit’ barfy—but she gets it.

So, surprisingly, does the federal government. It’s not widely known but, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program—food stamps—can be used to buy seeds and plants. As in organic seeds and plants. And while the chaos of Food for life. unemployment can make something like urban farming seem utterly impractical, maybe it isn’t.

Corbyn Hightower lives in Roseville. She worked in the natural-foods industry and was used to organic food—as were her three kids. Following a bad turn or two, she signed up for SNAP; with a little research, she discovered how to buy organic seeds for planting a vegetable garden. Hightower told Ruth in an email, “We sold our only car and built raised beds on our driveway. My kids love picking and eating straight from the garden … we eat almost exclusively organic, unprocessed food.” (She blogs at www.corbynhightower.com, where you can follow her adventures in more detail.)

There are resources. Check out SNAP Gardens (www.snapgardens.org), where you’ll find resources toward helping your organic garden grow. Both the Davis and Sacramento food co-ops take EBT cards and sell organic seeds and plants. Ask the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op about its discount program for EBT cardholders. Also, the Sacramento Area Community Garden is a partner with SNAP Gardens—it lists four community gardens on its website. More community gardens are listed on the city of Sacramento’s website under the Department of Parks and Recreation.

Farming: Why, it’s like fishing without the eyeballs. Mo’ bettah, says Aunt Ruth. Mo’ bettah. Ω (Come friend Aunt Ruth on Facebook and let’s hang out.)

ECO-HIT Taking charge Sacramento is now home to some new electric-vehicle chargers. Electric-vehicle-infrastructure company EV Connect announced last month that thanks to Assembly Bill 118 funding, it upgraded existing charging equipment in six Sacramento locations.

Electric-vehicle owners can take advantage immediately, as these chargers are free and ready to use.

Charging locations include: the parking garages at Third and L streets, and 10th and I streets, the California Air Resources Board, the CalPERS building, the Sacramento Metropolitan Air Quality Management District, and the West Sacramento California Fuel Cell Partnership. These chargers are compatible with most electric-vehicle models.

A RT S & C U LT U R E

—Jonathan Mendick |

AFTER

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Three Nissan Leafs charge in a Sacramento parking garage.

03.08.12

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I wanted to write a letter last month to Isabelle when she turned 13—one of those missives advising her to grab all the gusto, listen to her own voice, and thumb her nose at by Ginny McReynolds naysayers. But I knew the cliché nature of it would dean of humanities make her roll her eyes and say, “Oh, Ginny,” the way and social science she does whenever I dream up something corny. If at Cosumnes she’s feeling particularly verbal at the time, she’ll also River College say I remind her of Will Ferrell, which I think might be a compliment.

Still, it’s hard to let this moment go by, to allow her to just continue being beautiful, smart, funny and sentimental all on her own. It’s tough to sanction this, you know, this growing up and becoming brave that she’s doing, completely without some sage words of wisdom from me. Last week, I drove her to buy a birthday card for one of her seemingly endless number of friends. As someone whose been there ever since her mom (my best friend) brought her home, I wanted so much to fill that half-mile drive with guidance about the hidden perils of seventh grade, the possible dangers of being open to new experiences, the tenuousness of everything.

She had been sick for a few days before this, though, her deep brown eyes a little deeper and darker than usual, so I spared her the pointers, however Our job is to be here, well-intentioned they arms outstretched, to might have been. I snuck a look at her at a stopgrab her when she light, saw her long, brown fall against her hands starts to fall; to hug hair as she deftly texted Grace, her when she needs a or Maya, or whomever.

My chest felt tight, my reward or a friend. head full. I wasn’t sure whether to stop her or push her to keep going—try and hold her back, or urge her to go beyond anything she can imagine as possible.

Fortunately for Isabelle—and me—I just asked about the cupcake-baking contest they’d be having at the birthday party she’d be attending that night.

When I dropped her off, after she’d selected the perfect card—without, of course, any help from me—I watched her sprint into the house with a confidence I didn’t experience until I’d been in therapy for years.

It’s that therapy, no doubt, that echoes in my head when I know not to tell her how to live her life.

I can feel the nearly suffocating narrowness of the line we all walk, those of us who have signed up to be her crew, but I know it’s we who have to hold our breath—not her. My job, our job, is to be here, arms outstretched, to grab her when she starts to fall; to hug her when she needs a reward or a friend. Still, it’s definitely a staying-in-the-shadows operation; one that requires constant attention to nuance. Anything can happen, you know, whether we want it to or not. My wish for Isabelle is that she will learn what that means and embrace it without too much fear. My wish for the rest of us is that we can give her the room to do it. Ω

OPINION

EDITORIAL

THIS MODERN WORLD

BY TOM TOMORROW

The unemployed need not apply If you are currently unemployed, or if your résumé opportunities were sure to become available in shows a period of unemployment, many my previous line of work. employers will not even consider your applicaSince then I have gone from one low-wage tion. You are being discriminated against, and position to another. Each period of unemployno laws exist to protect you. In fact, it’s legal to ment became a part of my résumé. run an employment ad that says “unemployed I can understand the employer’s logic, which applicants need not apply.” may sound like this: “If he’s unemployed, there Assemblyman Michael Allen (D-Santa Rosa) must be a reason.” Or perhaps, “She must have has introduced Assembly Bill 1450, which a problem, or another employer would have would prohibit employers from discriminating hired her.” Business does not operate successagainst the unemployed fully by regularly acting by unless employment is a against what must seem Lee Elvgren legitimate qualification for The economy was like common sense. an unemployed the job.

The bill is curBut I’m not alone. former regional-sales just beginning to tank, Last February, I stood in manager in commer- rently been assigned for so I knew securing cial construction, consideration by the line with more than homeless in Assembly’s Labor and 2,000 applicants at Raley new employment Sacramento from Employment Committee.

Field for a chance at a November 2010 to might be difficult.

In 2007, for the first job with the Sacramento April 2011; he received But I had no idea how River Cats. Nine hours assistance from the time in my life, I was laid and four interviews later, Volunteers of America off. The economy was just difficult it would be.

Shelter on N. A Street beginning to tank, so I I had secured a miniknew securing new mum-wage, part-time, employment might be difficult. But I had no temporary position that would not begin for two idea how difficult it would be. months, and I was damn grateful.

Have a comment?

When my unemployment benefits were It only makes sense to support A.B. 1450, Express your views exhausted six months later, I accepted the only and I hope readers will let their assembly memin 350 words on work available—a low-wage job similar to those bers know how they feel about it. I am not a local topic asking for special consideration, but I refuse to of interest. I had outgrown in my early 20s. I was not too Send an e-mail to discouraged because I knew that my effort, accept that the millions of us who are unemeditorial@ experience and value to my new employer ployed are forever unemployable! Ω newsreview.com. would be recognized and rewarded. And if not, BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

STORY

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

One tax plan A recent Field Poll indicates that California voters approve two of the three tax measures proposed for the November ballot. That suggests people realize that enough cutting has been done, and now it’s time to increase revenue.

That’s good news, for now. But it’s easy to imagine a “no” campaign lumping these three tax measures together and successfully convincing voters to rebel and kill them all.

Of the three measures, Gov. Jerry Brown’s tax proposal would raise income taxes on Californians earning at least $250,000 annually, increase the sales tax by a half cent and expire at the end It’s easy to imagine a of 2016. The so-called “no new taxes” “Millionaires Tax” would campaign lumping these increase income taxes on Californians earning more tax measures together than $1 million annually. And and successfully the third initiative, sponsored by wealthy Los Angeles attor- convincing voters to ney Molly Munger, would rebel and kill them all. increase income-tax rates on a sliding scale, starting with individuals earning $7,316 in taxable income.

We wish there was just one tax measure on the ballot, one proposition we could all unite around. As it stands, the initiative with the best chance of passing is the governor’s plan. It has widespread business and labor support, and it has the least chance of running into well-funded opposition. Also, because of the intricacies of budget financial constraints, it would do the best job of eliminating the state’s structural deficit.

More importantly, if the governor’s measure isn’t approved, a new, $5 billion round of budget cuts will be triggered. That would be a disaster for California. The governor’s plan is the only one that should be on the November ballot. Ω

Help wanted Despite winning only one Academy Award—Octavia Spencer for Actress in a Supporting Role—the film The Help has been both a popular success and a source of discussion on American history.

But a chunk of “history” isn’t actually in the past for many domestic workers, and California’s Domestic Workers Bill of Rights—Assembly Bill 889, sponsored

by Assembly members Tom Ammiano (D-San Francisco) and V. Manuel Perez (D-Indio)—would help give domestic workers the respect and fair treatment they deserve.

Despite being dubbed the “baby-sitting bill” by those opposed, A.B. 889 simply mandates that the employers treat domestic workers as employees. That means the people who clean houses, cook food, and care for children, the elderly and the disabled will be guaranteed things like overtime, workers’ compensation, meal breaks and eight hours of sleep.

What’s more, it doesn’t apply to Becky, the highschool student who watches the kids while you go out for dinner. This law is aimed at full-time domestic workers.

The California Domestic Workers Bill of Rights is currently in committee in the State Senate. A.B. 889 needs to become law because it’s only right. Workers deserve to be treated with respect, whether they work the factory floor or the kitchen floor. Ω |

AFTER

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For more information about Assembly Bill 889 or to support the bill, visit www.domestic workers.org/ ca-bill-of-rights.

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illustrations by HAYLEY DOHSAY

W

e’ve got murdering, stalking and cave exploring, not to mention more murders, homeless guys out for dinner and cops in love.

That’s in addition to the apocalypse, which comes wrapped up in nuclear destruction or thermonuclear destruction—you can take your pick.

It must be the SN&R Flash Fiction Contest, in which our readers come up with the most entertaining story they can tell in 150 words or less.

This year, we’ve got some repeat offenders—uh, writers—as well as some new talent bringing their best short-short fiction to the table. As usual, the identities of the writers were hidden from the judges during the selection process.

Sit back and enjoy these tales of—well, everything— from your fellow SN&R readers.

16

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Jerry, on the street a month, turned to Old Harold.

“I’m hungry.”

“Only clever people get to eat,” said Harold, leading the way to the Dumpster. He pointed. “Best Italian food in town.”

“Yuck,” said Jerry.

Harold swung himself inside.

“Specialty of the house: chicken Parmesan, fettuccine, Caesar salad.”

“Yuck,” said Jerry.

Harold resurfaced with a crust of bread and a handful of noodles.

Suddenly the restaurant door opened. The man in the apron saw the sauce on Harold’s chin.

“Get out of that Dumpster,” he said, turning back inside.

“Run!” said Jerry. “He’ll call the cops.”

“Sit down,” said Harold, climbing out of the Dumpster.

He arranged two cardboard boxes by the door.

The man in the apron reappeared. He set one plate on each box.

Harold breathed in the fine aroma. “Specialty of the house,” he said. “Chicken Parmesan, fettuccine, Caesar salad.”

Larry E. Graham, Sacramento

before the blood runs out; mixing it up, getting in the middle of it, letting the adrenaline push the senses to breathlessness.

Those days are gone. Now, on warm mornings I go to the park, feed the crows, we talk.

All we seem to agree on is that neither of us will ever be that wild again.

Bill Gainer, Grass Valley

Up at the Shores, it’s ravens.

Snyder says they’re over by his place, too. Down where I’m at, it’s crows.

They used to hang out in the yard until the shooting.

Now they’re down at the park.

They say the crow is the only creature, free or domestic, that will run to the sound of a gunshot—looking for whatever morsel death may have left behind. A pleasure some of us once enjoyed, too. It’s just sport, hoping to get there

Wings lay quietly, waiting. The officers looked into each other’s eyes. Their expressions softened.

“You’re so brave,” said Officer Bert.

“You’re so strong,” said Officer Andy.

Larry E. Graham, Sacramento

Blue flies peppered the bedroom window pane; trapped, their carcasses fell and littered the sill like ashes from the old man’s cigar whose corpse lay rotting in bed.

Mike hadn’t seen the old man smoking behind his house all week, so he went to check on him. He knocked but heard no sounds inside.

Mike peered through windows and noticed the flies, then saw the gasping, tilted skull, its upper lip drawn high over long yellow teeth.

One night, he wakes the neighbors, who rattle their trash cans to the curb, thinking it’s garbage day.

Agnes drops him off at the sleep lab with a pillow and a glass of milk. “Fix your shit,” she says, pointing to his nose. That night, they affix special stickers to his forehead. The next morning, there is a flute where his nose once was.

“Go on,” the doctors say to Agnes. “Play nice.”

The old man had fabricated sheet-metal parts for the bombs dropped on Japan. Exposure to radiation had killed the nerves in his bottom jaw, and his lower teeth had rotted away. He told Mike about it once across their common fence chewing pensively on his cigar.

He’d described visiting a prison to review designs with Nazi scientists.

Now the old man was dead of cancer, another victim of Little Boy. D. Link, Sacramento

Julia Halprin Jackson, Davis

Sometimes, at the mini-mart, the creepy guy gets there before I do.

The girl behind the counter keeps peeking over my shoulder, watching him, wants to know if I’m going to sit a while, sets the cordless on the counter, puts the change in my hand, says, “Stay.” I think anything’s possible.

Other times I beat him to it.

We’re alone, she holds the cordless tight, leaves the change on the counter, doesn’t get to close, I compliment her shoes, she steps away.

On the way out I glance back, she’s dialing. I imagine calling mom, telling her, “The other creepy guy was here. I don’t like being alone with him. He’s always talking about my shoes.”

Bill Gainer, Grass Valley

After 20 years of marriage, Agnes can’t handle it anymore. It isn’t alcohol; it isn’t infidelity; it’s the snoring. Phil’s snores are barges passing in the night.

Officer Andy and Officer Bert stopped the guy with the wings pushing the shopping cart.

“Halloween was months ago, buddy,” laughed Officer Andy.

“Your wings are crooked; your tights are ragged.”

Officer Bert added, “You’re even too late for Valentine’s Day.” “Never too late for love,” said Wings, reaching into the shopping cart. He pulled out a bow and arrow.

Both officers drew guns.

“Drop your weapon. Step away from the cart.”

“Never too late …”

In one brave motion—even before the bow and arrow hit the ground—Officer Andy threw Wings to the pavement and snapped on the handcuffs. But the arrow, on its way down, nicked him. His partner retrieved the arrow for evidence, accidentally scratching his finger.

Suddenly the restaurant door opened. The man in the apron saw the sauce on Harold’s chin.

“Get out of that Dumpster,” he said, turning back inside.

He kept his books in the attic because the cat liked to gnaw paper. He kept his furniture up there because the cat liked to scratch it. The cat liked to chew on coaxial cables, so the man kept his television in the attic. The cat had an annoying habit of jumping on the piano keys at inappropriate moments, so the man put the piano in the attic. The cat sometimes licked the man’s face while he slept. This annoyed the man so he took to sleeping in the attic.

Eventually, the cat died of boredom and loneliness. Now the man keeps its ashes in a little wooden

box atop of the refrigerator.

Whenever he goes into the kitchen for a glass of milk or a bowl of ice cream, the man sees that little box and sheds a tear for the cat, whose name he can no longer remember.

I don’t mean to dinner. I don’t mean, “Richard, try the lamb; it’s delicious.”

I mean took us out. As in screwed a silencer onto a gun.

Like that scene in Pulp Fiction: Travolta! Jackson! Guns! Bam! Except it’s John McCrea. Is he pissed because we made fun of Cake? No! He’s pissed because I’ve been telling everyone he was a waiter at Greta’s Café. Their breakfasts, I recall, were delicious. You sigh audibly.

Outing McCrea as a table jockey; that’s all on me.

Now I’m pissed. Not just because you’re impeccably dressed. I mean, nice suit. Me? I’m dressed in jeans and a Tshirt. How’s that going to look when they find our dead bodies?

Geoffrey Neill was found murdered last night along with his gardener. Thanks.

As we argue, McCrea decides to take us both out. The last thing we hear him say: “Sheep: Heaven.

Goats ...”

Richard Hansen, Sacramento

Kevin Mims, Sacramento

-“Specialty of the House”

“KEEP IT SHORT” continued on page 19

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FRONTLINES

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

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AFTER

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03. 08.12

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“KEEP IT SHORT” continued from page 17

Seeing a pickup truck back into the no-parking zone in front of his motel, Tom Haven became suspicious and memorized the license number: Idaho plate KII241. The driver entered the office, thrust a knife between Tom’s ribs, emptied the cash register and left. Tom triggered the alarm with his foot. Fearing death was near, he used a finger dipped in blood to write the license number on the counter.

IDA KII was as far as he got before slumping to the floor.

His wife, alerted by the alarm, rushed from their apartment at the back of the office.

She tried to pull the knife from Tom’s body, but it was stuck in a bone.

The jury had no trouble convicting Ida Haven of murder.

Her fingerprints were on the knife and Tom had clearly been trying to write IDA KILLED ME when he died. She was executed by lethal injection.

Seeing the young man’s father, Grandpa launched into a colorful tirade, and the man asked, “What are you going to do?”

Grandpa answered with a right cross, and the two men went to scrapping, Grandpa fell, hit his head and was taken to the hospital.

At the hospital I asked, “What’s wrong with you? That guy had a roll of nickels in his hand,” I laughed.

“Why aren’t you listening to me, Dave?”

“There was a serious accident tonight at the intersection of Sandalwood and Price Boulevard.”

-“Another Victim of Little Boy”

Kevin Mims, Sacramento

They say the crow is the only creature, free or domestic, that will run to the sound of a gunshot— looking for whatever morsel death may have left behind.

-“Talking to Crows”

Grandpa, a hard man softened when gardening, at 87, he walked daily and took care of his small garden where he grew tomatoes and roses. A mentally challenged young man got into Grandpa’s garden and trampled it; Grandpa’s anger simmered.

Then, looking more serious than I had ever seen him, he said, “I had that guy bent over and hit him in the gut with everything I had. He didn’t go down. I might be getting old.”

Michael Kane, Roseville

Follow me, she says. He sidles up, one hand on his hip, edges inward. Mind the gap, she says.

The sunlight splits above her head, a hundred shafts of yellow splintering through blackness.

They hear water. A thousand things could happen here, where it’s dark and dank. A thousand invisible, undoable things could happen. He could lose her. He could lose himself. They both could lose the sun. Instead, they trundle forward, grabbing rock when they don’t grab each other.

When it’s over, they measure dirt in their palms, grateful they can see. “Next time,” she says, “bring a flashlight.”

Julia Halprin Jackson, Davis

19

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Mike peered through windows and noticed the flies, then saw the gasping, tilted skull, its upper lip drawn high over long yellow teeth.

“I thought we had something, Dave!”

“A blue Chrysler sedan ran a red light just after 9 o’clock. A black Dodge SUV then entered the intersection and struck the ...”

“Dave, why won’t you answer me?”

“The driver of the SUV and both passengers of the sedan were rushed to an area hospital.”

“How can you ignore me, Dave?”

“The driver is listed in critical condition, while the sedan passengers are both in serious but stable—” “Shut up, Dave! Shut up!”

“It is unclear if drugs or alcohol played a role in the crash.”

“I”m leaving you, Dave. I won’t stand for this anymore.”

“Reporting live from Summerland, David Simmons, Channel 8 News.”

“I’m leaving!”

“In other news, Rockford City Council President ...”

Click.

Sean Riley, Roseville

On our 20th anniversary, I said I think I’ve survived four poisoning attempts.

She said, “No. Six.” On our 25th, she brought out a cake. There was a knife with a bloody handle driven in the middle of it and an inscription saying, “You won’t make 26.”

These days, I eat out more than usual. Sleep with the door locked and make sure the gun isn’t loaded.

She says the cremation is paid, has a spot picked out in the garage for my urn. She wants me close, but not too close.

She leaves her favorite book, The Fine Art of Poisoning on the coffee table. Says she likes to thumb through it whenever I’m out late with the boys, doing whatever it is boys do when they’re out late.

She leaves notes to herself, “Christ, I love him, but he’s gotta go. One drop in the turkey gravy isn’t enough.”

Bill Gainer, Grass Valley

Hector paced. “You say air hockey, I say … Arizona. What’s the difference?”

Teddy was at his best friend’s house, feeling like he was losing this argument about what makes

life worth living.

“Neither may seem … cosmically important, but each is as good as anything else, and that’s enough to get anyone through any moment, just focusing on one good thing. And maybe that’s all there is, is moments.

Maybe it’s not all building toward anything.”

“I don”t know,” mumbled Teddy. “That would just be sad.”

Hector sat back down on his bedroom floor. “I’m tired of suicide chess. Let’s play real chess.”

“All right.”

Hector cleared the board.

“My mom and dad keep yelling.

He didn’t come home until 9 last night. She was asleep.”

“That sucks.”

Hector placed the queen in position. Computer voice: “Wouldn’t you prefer a nice game of War?” “No, let’s play Global Thermonuclear Chess.”

Computer voice: “Fine.”

Giggles.

Paul R. Hughes III, Sacramento

Ouch. Johnny’s head was foggy as if he were coming out of surgery—his eyes weren’t open yet, but he was aware of that fact, and that he had no clue where he was or how he got there.

He slowly began to open his eyelids, adjusting to the light in the cold room, when he realized that he couldn’t move his arms or legs.

“Am I freaking paralyzed?!” his mind screamed.

Panic was bubbling just under the surface, but Johnny wasn’t letting it take over— although he was getting close.

Now aware that his hands and feet were tied to something, he struggled toward total consciousness.

“Was I knocked out?” his thoughts were flying.

“Hello, sleepyhead,” a sweet, woman’s voice said from his immediate right.

He recognized her voice.

“Wait. Hold on.” In a rush, it all came to him. His ex-girlfriend Gina! Oh crap.

Rick Tracewell, Auburn

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03.08.12 | SN&R | 21

ARTS&CULTURE POPSMART Pretty/ugly It was the summer after my parents’ separation and, perched there on the cusp of adolescence, I felt both optimistic and nervous.

At age 12, I was ready to start junior-high school—a step that, I knew, signaled my eventual entry into being a

by RACHEL LEIBROCK teenager and everything that I imagined it entailed.

Without any older brothers or sisters, my concept of the state of teen-hood was largely defined by Coke commercials and shows such as One Day at a Time. In particular, Valerie Bertinelli embodied a personal beauty ideal. With her waves of glossy chestnut hair, bright smile and tiny figure, the actress represented the pinnacle of fresh-faced teenage prettiness.

I had dark hair and a bright smile—maybe I could look just like her.

I took a teen magazine featuring Bertinelli on the cover and showed it to my greatgrandmother, who was baby-sitting my brothers and I for the summer.

“This is who I want to look like,” I said, showing her the cover.

My great-grandmother scrutinized the picture and then studied my face and figure, which, even after a summer of swimming and biking was, decidedly, not that tiny.

“You have pretty hair,” she said with a matter-of-fact snort. “But stop eating all that junk food—you’re too fat.”

Kind to be cruel, or just plain mean?

Maybe a little bit of both. Decades later, I still remember the sting. But, looking back, I’m thankful for small mercies: At least I didn’t feel the need—or have the technological means—to let an entire nation judge me.

That’s exactly what teenage and preteen girls are doing today.

It’s nothing short of a YouTube It’s nothing short phenomenon—young girls taking to the Web to of a YouTube ask a simple, heartbreaking question: Am I phenomenon— pretty or ugly?

In one of the site’s most-watched clips, a young girls taking young girl nervously faces the camera. She to the Web to can’t be more than 11 or 12—the giant, floppy koala-bear hat perched on her head painfully ask a simple, underscores her age.

“I just wanted to make a random video, heartbreaking seeing if I was like, ugly or not,” she says. question: Am I “Because a lot of people call me ugly, and I think pretty or ugly? I am ugly. I think I am ugly and fat.”

The girl, of course, is beautiful, but that’s hardly the point here. She is confused and filled with the kinds of adolescent emotions that can break a fragile ego. Her friends, she says, tell her she’s pretty, but it’s the nasty comments from others that have left an indelible impression.

Seeking solace in a community of YouTube watchers, she’s likely learned by now, isn’t a very good solution.

Reaction in the comments section range from kind and benign (“you’re pretty,” “believe in yourself”) to cold, callous and brutal. I won’t reprint those comments here—just use your imagination; they represent the worst of human impulses.

Frankly, I can’t let myself read more than a few of them; it’s too upsetting.

Of course, her question is nothing new. And where do you think she learned it? We can blame it on the media—unrealistic body expectations and beauty standards. We can blame it on the mediums—easy access, not just to technology but also to an audience of judge, juries and executioners.

We can also blame ourselves.

I know I do. I blame myself for contributing to this culture of self-doubt and self-loathing.

It’s a game we learn as children and refuse to give up as adults.

I feel fat. God, I look horrible today. My jeans are too tight, I can’t eat another bite, I’m such a pig.

It’s a game with no winners and, after watching those YouTube videos, one I know I need to stop playing. We all do. Ω

Smarted by Popsmart? Got something to say? Let Rachel know: popsmart@newsreview.com.

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BSPECIAL T R

by BECKY GRUNEWALD photos by SHOKA

R

,

A COCKTAIL CHALLENGE TO SATISFY A TIPPLER'S TASTES

truly great bartender should have a grasp on the classics—a martini, a Manhattan, a sidecar, et al— yet also be flexible enough to tailor a drink to a tippler’s tastes, even if it means creating a cocktail on the fly. Thanks in part to the advent of the Shady Lady Saloon, Sacramento is experiencing a cocktail renaissance of sorts. Within the grid, you’ll now find numerous places to sip fig-chipotle vermouth or watch a bartender spank a naughty sprig of mint. But how do these cocktail alchemists respond to offbeat requests that force them to go off-list? We put four area bars to the challenge—two drinks per establishment—and what follows is an entirely unscientific (and more than a little boozy) attempt to find out which local bartenders can expertly rise to the drinking occasion.

A

SHADY

LADY

Challenge 1: A rye-based cocktail Result: Bartender No. 1 directs me to the bourbon page of the cocktail list and says she can make a Red Hook Manhattan with either bourbon or rye; she also points out that a Sazerac (which is available on the menu) has rye. I ask, instead, if she can make me an Old Pal with rye, dry vermouth, Campari and an orange twist; she’s not familiar with it, but is game to try. The drink, made with the bar’s well rye (Bulleit), is candy-apple red with a strong citrus flavor and a palate-stimulating bitter streak.

Challenge 2: A fizz cocktail Result: The only fizz on the Shady Lady menu contains basil— a trendy touch, which is rather uncharacteristic for this retro establishment. I have something more traditional in mind, so bartender No. 2, Anna Schaubach, quickly goes off-list and offers me a Ramos Fizz—a cocktail composed of gin, orange flower water, lime, cream, soda water and pasteurized egg white—which she proceeds to mix expertly. This drink is airy, redolent of lime and flowers, and has that pleasing, chalky texture that the dairy imparts. Other patrons start to buzz as she hands it over, and the man to my right confides that he mixes Silver Fizzes for his family on Christmas Eve.

Knowledge of classics: Perfect for

the Ramos Fizz.

Improv skills: Game to try, but only

when I offered a recipe.

Bonus round: used a Collins glass and

Old Tom Gin for the fizz, which is absolutely correct.

Would order again?: A Ramos Fizz and a sunny seat on the patio sound like heaven.

Shalom, cinema See NIGHT&DAY

28

EL A DINING ROOM & BAR Knowledge of classics: Hard to

assess, but he mixed my companion a good Old Fashioned.

Improv skills: Like a mad scientist.

Bonus round: The only bartender

in town who’s hip to the powers of dry sherry.

Would order again?: The sherry Manhattan and the vanilla panna cotta.

These wieners work See DISH

31

‘F’ for fun See STAGE

51

Apocalypse Sacramento By the time my recent case of the flu reached day No. 4, the cranky had supersized. My increasingly desperate wife headed for a local bookstore’s science-fiction section and bought the first series with the word plague in the title, hoping that turning on my apocalypse would stop the whining.

The trilogy she brought home—Plague Year, Plague War and Plague Zone, by East Bay writer Jeff Carlson— included a nanotech Armageddon featuring Sacramento as its ground zero. There’s nothing more satisfying, as every apocalyptic lit and film fan knows, than watching familiar landmarks explode and fall apart and, here, Carlson killed everyone between the East Bay and the Sierras. When, midpoint in the first novel, the heroes have to get to a nanotech lab near Sacramento State University while wearing containment suits, I was more than happy to read a detailed description of a devastated Interstate 80 from East Sac to Rocklin.

In fact, Sacramento’s Armageddon actually made me feel better about my own little sneezy, snuffly, now-it’sa-sinus-infection apoca-fluenza.

Since I’m the book wrangler at SN&R, I decided to call Carlson up and see how he felt about torching our town.

Seriously, what makes a person want to kill the planet— starting with poor little misunderstood Sactown?

He was quick to point out that his interest in the end of the world isn’t unique.

“There’s this wide-ranging fascination with what happens when everything breaks down,” Carlson said.

“You’ve got helicopters exploding and space shuttles crash-landing on mountain highways, but there’s also the question: What would you do? How far would you go to survive?”

I don’t think it’s giving anything away to say that the heroes—and the villains—in the Plague books will go pretty freaking far to survive, considering that the opening line in the first book, Plague Year, is “They ate Jorgensen first.”

Of course, that part happened high in the Sierra, in the winter, a place and time when such things have been known to happen. But seriously, what was it like to destroy Sacramento, and how well did he know it before he killed it?

A sixth-generation Californian (which is a bit of an oddity itself), Carlson spent his youth driving from the East Bay to Tahoe for fun on the slopes.

“As I became a young man, we wouldn’t want to go back down again,” he said. “Sometimes we’d call in ‘snowed-in’ and tell people that it really wasn’t safe to try to drive back.

“And of course we’d drive through Donner Pass, and I was darkly fascinated with that.”

So as he was plotting his book, Carlson started asking, “What if we really couldn’t go home again?

What if nobody—nobody all over the world—could go home again?”

Very quickly, he had a nanotech plague designed by a couple of Sacramento scientists with a hyperbaric fuse—it dies above 10,000 feet—and before you know it, his characters are chomping on Jorgensen while trying to survive.

What fun. I can’t wait for the movie.

Challenge 2: A dessert drink to pair with the restaurant’s vanilla panna cotta Result: Here, Dooley goes to work, and his mad genius starts to show through. He makes a drink with Punt e Mes, a vermouth made by Carpano that is both bitter and sweet, orange bitters, and fino sherry; wine director Joe Vaccaro deems it a “sherry Manhattan.” It’s a deep burnt-orange color, with an herbal complexity and a long, dry finish. “I love sherry,” Dooley proclaims.

THE ONLY FIZZ ON THE SHADY LADY SALOON MENU CONTAINS BASIL—A TRENDY TOUCH, WHICH IS RATHER UNCHARACTERISTIC FOR THIS RETRO ESTABLISHMENT.

RESTAURANT

THIR13EN13 Challenge 1: A Corpse Reviver No. 2 Result: This time I cut right to the chase and ask for this off-list cocktail by name. The bartender, Brian Botwell (the one and only person staffing this small but well-curated bar), nods and gets to work. The resulting cocktail is the best I’ve had in quite some time. The Swiss-distilled Kübler absinthe has a starring role; it tastes of both pine and black pepper.

Challenge 2: A cocktail made with Chartreuse liqueur Result: The bar is only stocked with yellow Chartreuse, which is lower in alcohol and sweeter than the green variety. Bartender No. 2, Pete Tachibana, improvises a drink containing the Chartreuse, Distillery No. 209 gin, and a dash from the largest bottle of bitters I have ever seen, Tempus Fugit Gran Clasico. He sniffs the shaker between each new ingredient until the aroma is right, and then garnishes it with an elegant lemon twist. The resulting drink packs a punch; it’s bracingly bitter and slightly vegetal, with a hint of juniper. I ask if he has a name for the sunshine-yellow drink and he quips, “Jaune.”

Challenge 2: Something herbal and bitter Result: This time, Botwell reaches immediately for the Chartreuse—green this time—and mixes it with Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur, Plymouth Gin and a squirt of lime juice. The Chartreuse is definitely herbal (it’s distilled with at least 132 plant extracts), and the Luxardo has a bitterness derived from cherry pits, so it fits the bill. I think that Botwell has improvised, but the drink turns out to be a prohibition-era classic called The Last Word. Ω

Knowledge of classics: Not so good

Knowledge of classics: Excellent;

for the first bartender, but Pete Tachibana mixed my companion a variation on a perfect Manhattan.

Botwell boasts 19 years worth of experience.

Improv skills: Hard to tell, he seems to have a classic memorized to satisfy any request.

Improv skills: Very impressive.

Bonus round: Used obscure bitters,

—Kel Munger

Bonus round: Best single cocktail of

intuited that I love gin cocktails.

Would order again? The Jaune, if

|

FEATURE

STORY

kelm@newsreview.com

the challenge.

Ella’s Chris Dooley whips up a Smoking Barrel (top), while Anna Schaubach of the Shady Lady Saloon prepares a Ramos Fizz.

Tachibana is behind the bar.

FRONTLINES

See 15 MINUTES

Chris Dooley points me toward the Smoking Barrel—tequila, lime, ginger, mescal and arbol chili cocktail—that’s featured on the menu. I protest, however, that I would rather have a cocktail that’s made solely with mescal—not a mix of mescal and tequila.

He wryly posits that mescal is just a variety of tequila. Well, kinda, in that they’re both distilled from agave, but I’m after smoke here. The Smoking Barrel is pleasant but doesn’t completely live up to its name.

Challenge 1: A cocktail with absinthe.

Result: I ask for a Corpse Reviver No. 2, which uses gin, lemon juice, Lillet, Cointreau and absinthe, but bartender No. 1 hasn’t heard of this classic; his cocktail book only has a recipe for Corpse Reviver No. 1, which is totally different. He suggests a Sazerac. He rinses the glass with absinthe, and then adds Woodford Reserve Bourbon—instead of the requisite rye—and bitters. The Bay Area-produced St. George absinthe has a wonderful anise aroma, but the bourbon is cloying and overpowers the drink.

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40

See MUSIC

Tristen Moss skates

Challenge 1: A cocktail made with mescal Result: I want something really smoky and heady, so bartender

GRANGE RESTAURANT & BAR

BEFORE

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Red-hot silly peppers

Read the full interview with Jeff Carlson on SN&R’s books blog, Bibliolatry: www.newsreview.com/sacramento/bibliolatry/blogs.

Would order again?: Yes, please.

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Art with a Twist

mondavi center

ART MIX: WOMEN’S VOICES/ WOMEN’S ART

U.S. PREMIERE

Ballet Preljocaj Blanche Neige SAT–SUN, MAR 17–18

THURSDAY, MARCH 8, 5–9 PM

Celebrate the exhibition Surveying Judy Chicago with ďŹ lm, art-making, live music by Curtis on Tour, and cocktails.

Curtis on Tour is presented in collaboration with the Mondavi Center, UC Davis.

DETAIL: Judy Chicago, The Return of the Buttery AP, 2009. Lithograph, 24 x 24 in. Š Judy Chicago. Courtesy of Judy Chicago and ACA Galleries, New York.

TICKETS AND MORE!

MondaviArts.org 866.754.2787 (toll-free)

Mondavi Gala Saturday, March 17 mondaviarts.org/gala

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THURSDAY, MARCH 22, 6:30 PM

Lorelei Bayne curates an evening of contemporary dance.

New dance works from: Dr. Linda Goodrich, Melissa Wynn, Philip Flickinger, Leandro Damasco, Melisa Cervantes, Tung Nguyen, and Lorelei Bayne.

This performance is funded in part by the Microgrant Program of the Sacramento Metropolitan Arts Commission with support from the City and County of Sacramento.

For tickets and information visit crockerartmuseum.org.

March & April

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24   |   SN&R   |   03.08.12

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March picks by SHOKA

The rent was too damn high When one gallery door closes, another gallery door opens—or something like that—so said Alexander Graham Bell. No matter: The details and historical accuracy probably aren’t that important. What is significant, however, is that longtime Midtowner Susan Rabinovitz took this saying to heart when she and Michael Shane decided to shut down J27 Gallery that they co-owned on February 18. Rabinovitz said, “Basically, the rent was too big.”

So Jimmy McMillan was right.

Anyway, Rabinovitz hasn’t wasted any time opening the doors to her new venture, Little Relics Boutique & Galleria, which features her handmade jewelry and local artwork. This month’s exhibiting artist is John Huerta, who uses pop-culture icons in his paintings, like Elvis Presley and Audrey Hepburn, with a Día de los Muertos twist.

“WeR3” by Mark Harm Niemeyer, acrylic on canvas, 2012.

Robot takeover Humans have fretted about it for decades, and now, the time has finally come: The robots are taking over—thematically, anyway, at MAIYA Gallery.

The art space presents March of the Robot, featuring work by C!nder, Marissa “Nurse Squeeky” Goldberg, Dwight Head, Mark Lifvendahl and Mark Harm Niemeyer.

Where: Little Relics Boutique & Galleria, 908 21st Street; (916) 716-2319; www.littlerelics.com.

Preview reception: Thursday, March 8, 6-9 p.m.

Second Saturday reception: March 10, noon-9 p.m. Through March 29.

Closing reception: Saturday, March 24, 6-9 p.m.

Hours: Thursday through Saturday, noon-4 p.m.

Where: MAIYA Gallery, 2220 J Street, Suite 1; (916) 476-3964; www.maiyagallery.com.

Preview party: Thursday, March 8, 5:30-7:30 p.m.

Second Saturday reception: March 10, 1-9 p.m. Through March 31.

Hours: Wednesday through Saturday, 1-7 p.m.

“Herd of Rocks” (detail) by Gary W. Vann, photograph.

Black-and-white justice

There is nothing like the naked eye experiencing nature’s landscapes in person. Thus, the pursuit of photographing it and doing it justice is a tricky business. The photographers in the exhibition Desaturated explore ways to capture nature, in addition to other subjects, all in black, white and various grades of gray. This includes the work of Gary W. Vann, who shoots large-format, long-exposure landscapes in moonlight, resulting in moody yet sensual terrain.

Also on the walls is work by Steve Appel, Ed Asmus, Michael Corlew, Hope Harris, Mark Howell, Terry Nathan, Dianne Poinski, Donald Satterlee, Jeremy Sykes and Judy Yemma.

“Adrianna” (detail) by John Huerta, acrylic, 2011.

BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

STORY

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Where: Beatnik Studios, 2421 17th Street; (916) 443-5808; www.beatnik-studios.com.

Second Saturday reception: March 10, 6-9 p.m. Through March 28.

Hours: Tuesday through Friday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

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ART MAP

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12 DEEP ART AND YOGA 2030 H St., (916) 470-9959, www.deepartandyoga.com.

13 GALLERY 2110 2110 K St., (916) 501-3455, www.gallery2110.com.

14 INTEGRATE 1529 28th St., (916) 594-9579, http://integrateservicessacramento. blogspot.com.

15 KENNEDY GALLERY 1114 20th St., (916) 446-1522, www.kennedygallerysac.com.

16 LA RAZA GALERÍA POSADA

MIDTOWN 1 ART STUDIOS 1727 I St., behind Michaelangelo’s; (916) 444-2233.

2 ARTFOX GALLERY 2213 N St., Ste. B; (916) 835-1718; www.artfox.us.

3 AXIS GALLERY 1517 19th St., (916) 443-9900, www.axisgallery.org.

4 B. SAKATA GARO 923 20th St., (916) 447-4276, www.bsakatagaro.com.

5 BARTON GALLERY 1723 I St., (916) 443-4025, www.sacartz.com.

6 BEATNIK STUDIOS 2421 17th St., (916) 443-5808, www.beatnik-studios.com.

7 A BITCHIN’ SPACE 2114 19th St., (916) 448-5090, www.abitchinspace.com.

8 BLUE LAMP 1400 Alhambra Blvd., (916) 455-3400, www.bluelamp.com.

9 BOWS & ARROWS 1815 19th St., (916) 822-5668, www.bowscollective.com.

10 CENTER FOR CONTEMPORARY ART 1519 19th St., (916) 498-9811, www.ccasac.org.

11 CUFFS 2523 J St., (916) 443-2881, www.shopcuffs.com.

1022 22nd St., (916) 446-5133, www.larazagaleriaposada.org.

17 MAIYA GALLERY 2220 J St., Ste. 1; (916) 476-3964; www.maiyagallery.com.

18 MIDTOWN FRAMING & GALLERY 1005 22nd St., (916) 447-7558, www.midtownframing.com.

19 OLD CITY ART GALLERY 2512 Franklin Blvd., (916) 952-4810.

20 OLD SOUL CO. 1716 L St., (916) 443-7685, www.oldsoulco.com.

21 PHONO SELECT 2312 K St., (916) 400-3164, www.phonoselect.com.

Underwater Mortgage

Help

A pAid Advertising publicAtion

Why Won’t My Lender I Modify My Loan?

n 2007, the nation began the devastating downward

loan modification and told to stop paying their mortgage.

spiral into what is now considered one of the

With promises that they were “qualified” or “pre-

worst mortgage crises in recent history. Before the

approved,” the banks mislead homeowners into believing

mortgage crisis hit, people were optimistic that owning a

the ease with which they could obtain a loan modification.

home would be a good investment. Banks were offering

Instead, these same banks essentially engineered the

easy access to financing with low teaser interest rates and

foreclosure. Homeowners were given the run around until

the availability of financing caused home appraisals to

their payments were so far behind that it was impossible

skyrocket. Most buyers were not prepared for what was to

to cure.

come when the bottom fell out – home prices plummeted, the banks were bailed out, and the homeowner was left holding the bag.

tactic.” Borrowers were quoted fixed rate loans at low

“The banking institutions sold thousands of loans that they knew could never be paid back,”

by SukhI k. brar

Another common situation among those facing foreclosure is what White called a “bait and switch teaser percentage rates but were not shown the required documents prior to closing. Then, on the spot, borrowers

said Jamil White, principal attorney

were forced to make a decision to accept loans they did

at Louis White Attorneys at Law. “It’s

not bargain for such as adjustable rate mortgages that had

a racket. They sold loans to people

no beneficial features. If borrowers expressed concern over

and took out insurance on those loans,

the types of loans offered, the brokers or lenders stated

so when the day came that

they would simply refinance them out of the loan in the

people could no longer afford

future. In reality, that refinance would never come.

their mortgages, the banks

Again, such practices were and are illegal.

made off like bandits. Today, it is more profitable to a bank to foreclose on a homeowner than it is to keep them in their house, otherwise we wouldn’t be seeing this widespread foreclosure crisis.”

Some people have tried to get loan modifications on their own but are continuously given the run around.

White said, “There are certain ‘thresholds’ that need to be met in order to be eligible for loan modifications and many people don’t understand how to position themselves in those thresholds. In most circumstances an experienced

For the vast majority of homeowners out there, they just want a mortgage payment that is fair, something that can help them stay in their home and build equity.

attorney can achieve the best results.”

Louis White Attorneys at Law has sued many banks for improper conduct and has leveraged those lawsuits into hundreds of thousands of dollars in principal reductions.

In one recent case, White negotiated an agreement with Bank of America that resulted in a $200,000 principal reduction in a client’s loan amount and a 2 percent interest rate.

For the vast majority of homeowners out there, they just want a mortgage payment that is fair, something that can help them stay in their home and build equity.

However, many of these people don’t know how to attack the banks to get what they want.

There are certain circumstances where banks act wrongfully. For instance after 2009, many homeowners contacted their banks for a refinance when they were current on their loan but were instead steered into a

2

Underwater Mortgage Help | March 8, 2012 | A paid publication for Louis White, Attorney-at-Law | www.LouisWhiteLaw.com

There are so many legal remedies homeowners can use to place themselves in better financial position.

Homeowners who have a combination of high debt, a home that is worth less than what they owe and a second mortgage can be given the opportunity to have the second mortgage completely eliminated, the credit card debt discharged, and a loan modification granted on their primary loan.

Louis White Attorneys at Law have helped with the short sale process and emergency cases involving fast approaching trustee sales as well.

“If you give us 7 days before a trustee sale, in all likelihood, we can stop it,” White said. “However, if you wait that long, other potential solutions will expire.”

Couple finds mortgage lifeline T

hings were looking up for Alice and Elliot Baker in

“It was a major decision to decide

2003 when they bought their first house together, a

not to pay, but we counted on the bank

five-bedroom home on one-third of an acre dotted

saying, ‘If you’re not paying, we’ll have

with birch trees and rose bushes.

The couple lived fairly liberally on credit, they admitted, but never missed a monthly payment on their assortment of credit cards or their $4,600 mortgage. They had solid government jobs, made good money and watched their $535,000 custom home in Carmichael appreciate 40 percent over the years.

Then the recession hit and their fortunes began to change. Banks started lowering the Bakers’ credit limit and raised their rates. Their debt load soon surpassed their income. Given that the federal government was in bailout mode, Alice asked for modification on the couple’s home loan. The bank denied the request.

by Jan Ferris Heenan

programs for you.’ We stopped paying; they had no programs. It was shocking,” Alice said, who is in her 50s and has grown children from her first marriage. “Every day was so stressful. ‘Are we going to keep the house? Are we going to keep it?’ I would only be able to sleep an hour or two at night.”

It took nearly two years before they finally found a lifeline: Jamil White, principal attorney of Louis White Attorneys at Law. The Bakers had paid for an audit of their home loan – which confirmed Alice’s suspicions that the paperwork on their refinance was rife with errors and omissions – and the auditor referred them to Louis White for counsel. In the weeks ahead, the tension eased.

“It just felt so much better having somebody hold

We spent months on our own trying to get to the right people.

We know we couldn’t have gotten there without Jamil.

He knows the ins and outs of these banks.

our hand throughout the process,” Alice said. “Knowing we had someone like Jamil made all the difference.”

Last summer, less than a year after securing the law firm’s services, the bank agreed to shave $205,000 off the Bakers’ loan, bringing their mortgage payments to $2,500 a month. The Bakers were stunned when they received the bank’s proposal. Neither expected to get such a big break and they suspect it reflected the breadth of the lenders’ mistakes. They also gave a lot of credit to White and his staff and appreciated their speedy response to the couple’s phone calls and e-mails.

“Jamil cares about people that get ripped off . . .

That set the Bakers on a seemingly unending campaign of letter-writing and phone calls to get help for their increasing financial troubles. After the bank rejected their first loan modification request, they wrote to the state attorney general. The letter was forwarded to the Bakers’ bank, which took nearly a year to respond. What they learned was dispiriting. Since they had not defaulted on their payments, they were told, the bank could not help them out.

That’s when the Bakers did what, for them, was previously unthinkable: They stopped sending in their mortgage checks.

By then, Alice’s state salary had been cut by 15 percent. Elliot was laid off from his job in county government. The two

Everything he told us was legit,” Elliot said. “We spent months on our own trying to get to the right people. We know we couldn’t have gotten there without Jamil. He knows the ins and outs of these banks.”

The two sought credit counseling early on and will continue to follow a structured payment plan for the next year or two. They no longer use plastic. And they have a deeper appreciation for what they nearly lost.

“We still don’t have any money coming in until [Elliot’s]

Did you know?

If the first mortgage is “underwater,” a second mortgage has a zero equity interest in the property

retirement kicks in, but we can make it,” Alice said. “Now

and essentially becomes unsecured. If there is not

that we’re going to stay here, it’s just like a settled feeling.

enough value in the home to cover the value of

hoped that defaulting on their loan would be a red flag to the

a second mortgage, the second mortgage holder

bank that they needed help.

cannot foreclose because there’s no money to gain from doing so.

www.LouisWhiteLaw.com | A paid publication for Louis White, Attorney-at-Law | March 8, 2012 | Underwater Mortgage Help

3

Hard work pays off

by Jan Ferris Heenan

G

ary and Kimiko Gill had enough to worry about

farmed out its home-delivery services and left the Gills with

when they took a major pay cut. Then the law firm

rack and store deliveries only.

they hired to help modify their home loan went

belly-up. A bank foreclosure notice soon followed, giving the couple nine days before their Contra Costa County house of

“I was making good money. The economy was booming and I was booming,” Gill said. “Then the market crashed.”

nearly 20 years was set to be sold.

northeast of Concord. “This was something we’d worked hard for and it was going to be taken away from us.”

Then a timely brochure arrived in the Gills’ mailbox

Gill was delighted; his wife of 42 years even more so.

We’re just so happy, so relieved that we can stay here.

against a deadline, he and his wife took a leap of faith. “[Jamil White] told me, ‘Mr. Gill, I will work for you. I’m not going to give you any BS. I can’t promise you anything, but I will do my best for you,’” Gill recalled. “As I’d talked to him, I got the feeling that he was going to help us.”

Like so many Americans caught up in the oncerobust real estate market, the Gills never expected to find themselves in need of help. Gary had held two jobs for 16 years – one in in a food manufacturing plant, the other as a daily newspaper deliveryman for an independent contractor.

In 2001, he and his wife took over the business. They earned good money and employed more than a dozen

for helping us, and Alex – who handled my case – was on top of everything. She let me know exactly what was going on.

Life has returned to normalcy this past year for the two.

Gary and Komiko resorted to completing the rack and store deliveries themselves. They started their days at 1 a.m., returned home five hours later for what Gill called “a

They still get up in darkness to start their day and make their delivery rounds. The difference these days, Gill said, is that they’ve got a little extra money to get them through the month.

little power nap” and then made the rounds again to collect unsold newspapers and money from the stores. Without the home-delivery portion of the business, they could no longer afford their mortgage payments.

In 2009, Gill and his wife secured the services of an Irvine-based law firm that they learned about on TV. They

Did you know?

Many borrowers don’t have a broad understanding of

paid a monthly retainer and, several months later, agreed to

the duties of a real estate agents, brokers or lending

join the firm’s class-action suit against their bank. Once they

institutions. They may not realize when these agents

signed on, they never heard from the company again. When

or institutions are out of compliance with the law,

they checked the web site for updates on the case, they learned the law firm had declared bankruptcy.

subcontractors. That lasted several years until the newspaper

4

She said, “We’re just so happy, so relieved that we can stay here. I can never, never say thank you enough to Louis White

They kept pushing and pushing and it worked out great.”

Attorneys at Law offering its services. Gill was skeptical California firm with no return. Lacking other options and up

month-long extensions followed. By March, White’s office

reduced by $1,100.

with a letter from the Sacramento law offices of Louis White at first, having paid monthly to the bankrupted Southern

the Gills’ foreclosure and got to work on their case. Two more

bank. The couple’s monthly mortgage payments had been

days before Christmas 2010.

Gary Gill said, who lives with his wife in Pittsburg, slightly

person. He and his team quickly secured a 30-day stay on

called with good news: a deal had been reached with the

An additional affront: the foreclosure notice came just

“When you’re 65 like I am, it’s kind of hard to start over,”

That’s when the Gills got the Louis White Attorneys at Law mailer and drove to Sacramento to meet with White in

Underwater Mortgage Help | March 8, 2012 | A paid publication for Louis White, Attorney-at-Law | www.LouisWhiteLaw.com

and an evaluation of the loan may be required to determine compliance.

A dream worth fighting for A

llen Smith and his wife designed and built their

by AnnA bArelA

The new bank would not honor the modification,

dream home themselves. They never fell behind in

sent back every payment Allen made, and filed a notice

payments on the mortgage and even offered the bank

of default. Allen even tried to pay cash to settle the

cash to buy out the loan when the bank refused to honor the

loan – in essence, to buy his own home back – but

agreed-upon interest rate. Allen owned his own business in the

the bank changed the sale date without telling

mortgage industry, and felt he could tackle the issue himself.

Allen and he was foreclosed on.

But they still ended up in the middle of a foreclosure.

“Where did we go wrong?” Allen wondered. “We worked

Allen said, “I built a lot of the house myself.

I planted every single blade of grass and every

really hard and saved our money. We had a picture of our home

plant around the house. I’ve got blood on some

design plans on the wall and touched it every day – that was

of those boards!”

our motivation for eating beans. When we built the house, we were finally able to realize our dream. We did everything right.”

That’s when Allen turned to Louis White Attorneys at Law. The attorneys at Louis White helped him understand that the bank had broken the law and committed fraud. They helped Allen take the bank to court by filing a lawsuit for wrongful foreclosure and fraud.

He’s been able to keep us in our home. He’s been able to expose the fraud that we didn’t understand. Not everybody can do that.

“He’s been able to keep us in our home,” Allen said. “He’s been able to expose the fraud that we didn’t understand. Not everybody can do that. You have to know where to go to find the rules because they are obscure.”

The Smiths are now waiting for the bank to decide whether to accept a settlement offer. Otherwise, the case will go to trial.

Either way, Allen is confident that he will get to keep his home for good with the help of Louis White Attorneys at Law. Allen said God has helped too, and described little miracles along the way.

Allen said, “By the grace of God it turned out the way it did. The bank’s attorney has made tons of mistakes. I think

The trouble couldn’t have started at a worse time.

Allen, his wife and his daughter had finally moved into their new home. They were expecting baby number two, but the baby came two months early and faced an extended hospital stay. After $120,000 in medical bills, they were able to finally bring their son home with a diagnosis of cerebral palsy.

About this time, the rate on the Smith’s mortgage was supposed to have dropped from the construction phase rate to its new, lower permanent rate – a relief since their income had

it’s totally because of God! It’s just really unusual mistakes.”

Louis White is handling all the details, so the Smiths can focus on their children. Their son is 5 now, and he barely shows any signs of cerebral palsy.

“He has a problem walking, but you can’t really tell unless you look really close,” Allen said. “He’s smart as a whip and the most tender, loving child I’ve ever seen.”

Their daughter is 9 and sometimes worries they will have

been reduced. But the bank mailed back the first payment; the

to move. Allen just tells her, “You don’t need to worry about

interest rate had not been reduced.

if we’re going to move. The only thing I need you to know is

Allen fought for a modified loan and was eventually

I am going to fight for you.”

approved. Meanwhile, the bank sold his loan with other highrisk loans to another bank. The interest rate at the new bank?

The incorrect, higher rate.

“It was over-the-top stressful,” Allen said. “We found out later as a result of investigation that it fell into that pool accidentally. It wasn’t supposed to be sold.”

Did you know?

If a lender intends to foreclose on a property, the lender is required by state law to fulfill certain requirements. The lender must:

• Contact the borrower at least three times by telephone before filing a notice of default.

• Send the borrower a notice of default by mail.

• Provide the borrower with a notice of trustee sale 20 days before the sale date is to occur.

www.LouisWhiteLaw.com | A paid publication for Louis White, Attorney-at-Law | March 8, 2012 | Underwater Mortgage Help

5

with

Jamil White

If I am in foreclosure, behind in my payments or owe more than my home is currently worth, what should I do?

Contact our firm right away because we have done the footwork and have the experience and knowledge necessary to present the best possible case to the banks on behalf of our clients. Often when people try to seek assistance from the banks on their own, they fail to give the banks the necessary information to lead to the best result possible.

What should I bring?

When coming to see us for the first time, a client

keep the house at today’s fair market value and

informal resolution can be achieved. If not, we draft

insurance pays the difference. This results in a huge

a complaint and file it in court to leverage the lender.

windfall to the banks at the expense of homeowners.

If the client is a good bankruptcy candidate we

It’s just not right.

would evaluate its benefits. From loan modifications to shortsales, whatever benefits the client the most, we obtain it.

How long does it take?

The whole process can take as little as three to eight months to reach resolution.

Can I still stay in my home during the process?

Ninety percent of the time, our clients are able to

should bring their loan documents, a chronology

stay in their homes throughout the process. Of the

of any communications they have had with their

roughly 10 percent who do not stay in their homes, 5

lenders, an explanation of why the client feels they

percent are generally people who want to transition

have been wronged by a lender and a picture of their

out of their homes. The rest are clients who came to

financial circumstances so we can evaluate and

us very, very late in the process to the point where

choose a strategy that helps the client get financially

there was not enough time to do an adequate work

healthy.

up of the case, or their circumstances were such that

What will happen at the appointment?

At the appointment, we will discuss the various tools we have at our disposal and explain what works

staying in the home was not feasible.

Do I have to continue to deal with the lender? do not tell our clients not to talk to the lender, but

financial circumstances and make decisions on

we prefer to communicate with the lender so we can

how to put the client in the best housing and credit

present the facts in the light most favorable for the

situation possible. We will explain what the client

client and prevent the client from creating a harmful

can reasonably expect, explain the risks and benefits,

situation for themselves.

to relieve their overall debt burden.

What does the initial appointment cost?

The initial appointment is generally a free

telling by the number of foreclosures out there, the banks don’t view keeping people in their homes as economically feasible. Statistics show that that only 4 to 8 percent of people requesting loan modifications in this country are actually getting them, thus the banks are not working with the majority of people who want to negotiate to save their homes. It’s my job to help people fight against big banks, to make it more expensive for the banks to foreclose, to make it a little more feasible to keep those homeowners in their properties.

I have studied and put in hundreds of hours factors that created it. I learned that the financial institutions are culpable in this financial mess. The banks made a ton of money by selling a lot of loans

to do is stop that sale. Otherwise, we contact the

foreclosure if it is economically feasible. Obviously

of research into the 2008 financial crisis and the

an hour.

If there is a sale date, the first thing we want

duty to keep homeowners in their homes instead of

Why did you choose to focus your practice in this area?

consultation and lasts for about 30 minutes to

What usually happens after the first appointment?

California law requires that banks have a limited

We become our clients’ legal representative. We

and what doesn’t work. We will evaluate the client’s

and enlighten the client on all of the tools available

6

lender and open up a dialogue to determine if an

people could not afford and by selling them on a secondary market. Then, when things went south, the banks insured these mortgages from default. Not only have the banks received years of homeowners monthly payments, but when they foreclose they

Underwater Mortgage Help | March 8, 2012 | A paid publication for Louis White, Attorney-at-Law | www.LouisWhiteLaw.com

Is your home “underwater?”

When the value of the property is less than the first mortgage, the home is underwater. Paying significantly more than a home is worth turns it into a toxic asset. Louis White Attorneys at Law can provide a comprehensive analysis of your mortgage loan to evaluate whether you have a toxic asset.

Underwater Mortgage DO’s&DON’Ts DO

if you are having trouble paying your mortgage,

DO

your due diligence to ensure that the lender you

DO

evaluate credit card debt and other unsecured

contact an attorney right away. Because of the expedited

are dealing with actually owns your loan and has the right

debt for ways to save money and maximize your financial

nature of foreclosure proceedings, the sooner you

to collect money or foreclose on it.

potential. Sometimes filing bankruptcy is a great way to

take action, the more options you have available to you.

Time is of the essence!

DON’T

eliminate debt.

they have your best interests in mind. Obtain legal

DON’T

representation to give you the best chance at obtaining

Louis White Attorneys at Law today to handle all of the

representatives. Note the name of the person you speak

a reduced mortgage. Some people try on their own, but

confusing paperwork and stressful negotiations for you.

to with, keep track of the information exchanged, and note

make crucial mistakes that eliminate their chances of

Set your mind at ease while our team of experts creates

the date and time.

receiving a modification or loan reduction.

and executes a plan of action to protect and preserve

DO DO

keep a record of your conversations with bank

DO

ask for a reinstatement quote if you are

let the bank fool you into believing

your legal rights. be aware of non-attorney marketing scams

threatened with foreclosure. The bank has an absolute

related to foreclosure and loan audits. No matter what

duty to allow the borrower to reinstate the loan at least

they promise, they probably can’t help you and may

five days prior to a trustee sale date.

just take your money without performing any valuable

DON’T

wait until it’s too late. Contact

services. Licensed attorneys are governed and regulated sign any bank paperwork without

understanding exactly what you are signing. An attorney

by the State of California, but non-attorneys have no regulation.

can help you interpret confusing language.

www.LouisWhiteLaw.com | A paid publication for Louis White, Attorney-at-Law | March 8, 2012 | Underwater Mortgage Help

7

At Louis White Attorneys at Law, we offer affordable legal representation to help: • Stop foreclosure and eviction proceedings • Reduce your mortgage

• Reduce your interest rate

• Short sales & bankruptcies

• Obtain financial compensation

• Debt consolidation and credit restoration

• Eliminate your second mortgage

Louis White Attorneys at Law has experience with claims involving wide variety of banks, including: Bank of America JPMorgan Chase Wells Fargo Citigroup

GMAC AHMSI US Bank OneWest Bank

If your mortgage loan is with one of these institutions, Louis White has dealt with them before and can help you, too!

Know your rights and get your life back. Contact your friendly team of experts at Louis White Attorneys at Law, your California attorneys with offices in Sacramento and Southern California.

Sacramento County Office

Both locations:

5600 H Street, Suite 100

Phone: 877-992-5291

Sacramento, CA 95819

Fax: 916-594-7247

Southern California Office 2067 W. Whittier Boulevard

info@louiswhitelaw.com www.louiswhitelaw.com

La Habra, CA 90631

This publication does not create a client-attorney relationship. It is meant for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

The stories and information herein are purely illustrative examples and do not apply to every circumstance. Contact Louis White Attorneys at Law for advice pertaining to your unique situation.

DON’T MISS

E ST.

23RD ST.

22ND ST.

28

49

H ST. 11 28 18 17 16 21 13 27 22

ALHAMBRA BLVD.

I ST. J ST. K ST. L ST.

45

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CAPITOL AVE. 2

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FREEPORT BLVD.

BR

M A R K E T P L A C E

M A R C H

The 2 nd Sunday

•

of Every Month 630am – 330pm

• Ste. 4; (916) 501-3455; www.sacramentoartcomplex.com.

23 SACRAMENTO GAY & LESBIAN CENTER 1927 L St., (916) 442-0185, http://saccenter.org.

24 SHINY NICKEL ART GALLERY 1518 21st St., (916) 224-7051.

25 SIDE SHOW STUDIOS 5635 Freeport Blvd., Ste. 6; (916) 391-6400; www.sideshowstudios.net.

32 VOX SACRAMENTO 1818 11th St., www.voxsac.com.

33 ZANZIBAR GALLERY 1731 L St., (916) 443-5601, www.zanzibartrading.com.

34 APPEL GALLERY 931 T St., (916) 442-6014,

44 TEMPLE COFFEE 1010 Ninth St.,

www.appelgallery.com.

27 UNION HALL GALLERY 2126 K Street, (916) 448-2452.

36 ARTISTS’ COLLABORATIVE GALLERY 129 K St., (916) 444-7125, www.artcollab.com.

37 CROCKER ART MUSEUM 216 O St., (916) 808-7000, www.crockerartmuseum.org.

28 UNIVERSITY ART 2601 J Street, (916) 443-5721, www.universityart.com.

29 THE URBAN HIVE 1931 H St., (916) 585-4483, www.theurbanhive.com.

38 E STREET GALLERY AND STUDIOS 1115 E St., (916) 505-7264.

39 MILK GALLERY 212 13th St., (916) 873-5920, www.facebook.com/milkartgallery.

30 VERGE CENTER FOR THE ARTS 625 S St., (916) 448-2985, http://vergeart.com.

31 VIEWPOINT PHOTOGRAPHIC ART CENTER

40 PAMELA SKINNER/GWENNA HOWARD CONTEMPORARY ART 723 S St., (916) 446-1786, www.skinnerhowardart.com.

2015 J St., (916) 441-2341, www.viewpointgallery.org.

BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

FOOD!

•

Ste. 100; (916) 446-4444; www.smithgallery.com.

43 SOLOMON DUBNICK GALLERY 1021 R St.,

444-2787, www.artfoundrygallery.com.

(916) 956-2491, http://tangent-gallery.com.

42 SMITH GALLERY 1020 11th St.,

DOWNTOWN/OLD SAC

•

Collectibles

(916) 397-8958, www.artist-patris.com.

35 ART FOUNDRY GALLERY 1021 R St., (916)

26 TANGENT GALLERY 2900 Franklin Blvd.,

41 PATRIS STUDIO GALLERY AT S12 1200 S St.,

(916) 444-3868, www.sdgallery.com.

(916) 443-4960, www.templecoffee.com.

Art

•

•

FREE PARKING!

Chandeliers

EAST SAC 45 ELLIOTT FOUTS GALLERY 4749 J St., (916) 736-1429, www.efgallery.com.

•

•

and more!

$3 ADMISSION

RAFFLE! Enter to win $100 gift certificate for the faire!

must present ad to enter

46 EVOLVE THE GALLERY 2907 35th St., (916) 572-5123, www.evolvethegallery.com.

47 FE GALLERY & IRON ART STUDIO 1100 65th

2 1 st S t r e e t • S a c r a m e n t o , C A

St., (916) 456-4455, www.fegallery.com.

48 GALLERY 14 3960 60th St., (916) 456-1058,

(Between W & X Street. Under the “W/X” Freeway)

www.gallery14.net.

916.600.9770

49 JAYJAY 5520 Elvas Ave., (916) 453-2999, www.jayjayart.com.

STORY

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Furniture

Textiles

22 SACRAMENTO ART COMPLEX 2110 K St.,

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w w w . S a c A n t i q u e F a i r e . c o m A RT S & C U LT U R E

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03.08.1 2

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SN&R

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27

NIGHT&DAY List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well.

Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your website.

Go to www.newsreview. com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

08THURS DON’T MISS! BREATHE CAROLINA: Catch

an electro-indie rock concert featuring Breathe Carolina. Taking’s Not Stealing and Headlines open the show. Th, 3/8, 7:30pm. $12-$17. Sacramento State University Union Ballroom, 6000 J St.; (916) 278-6997; www.sacstateunique.com.

Special Events A DECADE AFTER THE DIGITAL COPYRIGHT REVOLUTION: LESSONS LEARNED AND CHALLENGES AHEAD: Peter S. Menell, Faculty Director of the Berkeley Center for Law & Technology and Professor of Law at UC Berkeley, will discuss the digital copyright revolution. Th, 3/8, 4pm. Free. UC Davis, 1 Shields Ave. in Davis; (530) 752-1011.

HACKADEMY AWARDS: Come attend Sacramento’s own awards show.

Walk on a red carpet, be captured on film by paparazzi, and see “stars” on the Walk of Fame.

Appetizers and live entertainment will be provided. All proceeds go towards tobacco prevention and Breathe California’s programs. Th, 3/8, 6-8pm. $40, free to students with RSVP. Memorial Auditorium, 1515 J St.; (916) 444-5900, ext. 212; www.sacbreathe.org/ hacks.html.

PRIVATE MONEY/PUBLIC ART: Join a moderated discussion with

Sacramento developers about art in commercial development projects, including panelists Mike Heller, Ellen Warner and Ali Youssefi. Th, 3/8, 5-6:30pm. $10.

Crest Theatre, 1013 K St.; (916) 792-4947; www.sacmetro arts.org/OpenDaily.html.

Classes INTERVIEWING FOR A JOB: Get information to ace the interview and hands-on practice to sharpen your interviewing skills. Registration is required by calling the library. Th, 3/8, 3pm. Free. Rancho Cordova Public Library, 9845 Folsom Blvd. Community Room, in Rancho Cordova; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

Concerts JAZZ BASSIST: Sacramento State’s Jazz Ensembles welcome special guest bassist Rick Shaw.

Shaw is the bassist for Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band and has provided music for The Simpsons, King of the Hill and other programs. Th, 3/8, 8pm. $5-$10. Sacramento State Music Recital Hall, 6000 J St.; (916) 278-5155; www.csus.edu/music.

NOON CONCERT ON THE QUAD: Sacramento City College Commercial Music Ensemble plays music by Steely Dan, Amy Winehouse, Foo Fighters, Rose Royse, Jill Scott and more. If there is rain, the performance happens in Room A25. Th, 3/8, noon-1pm. Free. Sacramento City College Quad, 3835 Freeport Blvd.; (916) 558-2243.

09FRI

DON’T MISS! NONTAMBI NAOMI TUTU:

Naomi Tutu is the third child of Archbishop Desmond and Nomalizo Leah Tutu. She was born in South Africa and has also lived in Lesotho, the United Kingdom and the United States. In her speeches, she blends the passion for human dignity with humor and personal stories. A reception will follow. F, 3/9, 7:30pm. $15-$25. St. Mark’s United Methodist Church, 2391 St. Mark’s Way; (916) 483-7848; www.stmark sumc.com/upcomingmoon.

INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY CELEBRATION: Gather for Women Nevada County’s 10th Anniversary Celebration features blues, soul and gospel singer Sista Monica, and

JJONATHAN ONATHAN MENDICK MENDICK |

SN&R

|

03. 08.12

SCREENING: OCCUPATION 101: A

Culture and Social Change: High Impact Strategies for Philanthropy is a dynamic presentation by Holly Sidford of Helicon Collaborative with a discussion on today’s philanthropic climate and social change, and how it relates to Sacramento.

RSVP Required. F, 3/9, 7-8:30pm.

Free. Crocker Art Museum, 216 O St.; (916) 792-4947; www.sacmetroarts.org/ OpenDaily.html.

BBYY

28

refreshments and a program of profound poetry and sultry music with Poet Laureate Bob Stanley. The search for the next Sacramento Poet Laureate will also be announced. RSVP required. F, 3/9, 5:30-7pm. Free.

Crocker Art Museum, 216 O St.; (916) 792-4947; www.sacmetro arts.org/OpenDaily.html.

HIGH IMPACT STRATEGIES FOR PHILANTHROPY: Fusing Arts,

CINEMA

Looking for something to do? Use SN&R’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online.

Art galleries and musems, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunies—all this and more on our free events calendar at www.newsreview.com.

Start planning your week!

POETS PARTY: Join for light

Special Events

, M O L A SH

Wait, there’s more!

thought-provoking speaker and author of The Red Book, Sera Beak, will enlighten and entertain you. F, 3/9, 5pm. $10. Grass Valley Veterans Memorial Building, 255 S. Auburn in Grass Valley; (530) 477-7817; www.gatherthewomennc.org.

I

thought-provoking and powerful documentary film on the current and historical root causes of the IsraeliPalestinian conflict. Unlike any other film ever produced on the conflict Occupation 101 presents a comprehensive analysis of the facts and hidden truths surrounding the never-ending controversy and dispels many of its long-perceived myths and misconceptions. Discussion at 7:30 p.m., movie at 8. F, 3/9, 7:30pm. Free. Lavender Library, 1414 21st St.; (916) 492-0558.

Art Galleries CLUBHOUSE 24: The Classy Artist With Countless Styles, meet Gayle Rappaport-Weiland personally and see her newest artwork and her coffee table book. F, 3/9, 4-10pm. Free. 920 24th St., (916) 666-1134.

JOHN NATSOULAS GALLERY: Conference, this annual conference is geared towards nurturing dialog on contemporary painting and the shared ideas that define current

trends in the field. Many painters work alone, an isolated process that deprives the artist of thriving debate until the work is shown. F, 3/9, 10am-7pm. $65-$80.

521 First St. in Davis, (530) 756-3938; www.natsoulas.com.

Comedy JONATHAN WINTERS AND FRIENDS: One of the funniest men in show business, Jonathan Winters is an original, a wildly improvisational comic whose work careens from childlike prankishness to bitter satire and from bizarre sound effects to straight-faced moralizing.

Joining Winters for this evening of laughs will be The Golddiggers, singer-comic and impressionist Paul Boland, and Pete Barbutti. F, 3/9, 7:30pm. $29-$59. Three Stages at Folsom Lake College; 10 College Pkwy. in Folsom; (916) 608-6888; www.ThreeStages.net.

REX NAVARRETE: Comedian Rex Navarrete has been featured in such live performances as “Hella Pinoy,” “Badass Madapaka” and “Komik Organik,” as well as the television show Lopez Tonight. F, 3/9, 9pm. $30-$40. Cache Creek Casino Resort, 14455 Hwy. 16 in Brooks; (888) 772-2243; www.cachecreek.com.

Dance ATHLETES BY DESIGN: Winner of the 2010 Capital Choreography Competition, New York choreographer Darrel Grand Moultrie unleashes the visceral energy and dynamic power of the superb athletes of The Sacramento Ballet. F, 3/9, 6pm. $15. The Sacramento Ballet Studios, 1631 K St.; (916) 552-5800, ext. 101; www.sacballet.org.

grew up attending Hebrew school on weekdays and Sunday school every weekend—almost until college. When my teachers wanted to pass the time easier, they’d often show us films—from Sesame Street’s Shalom Sesame to Steven Speilberg’s Schindler’s List, and everything in between. We always discussed the films, and learned a variety of different life lessons.

These films helped teach me the complexity of life, the strength of human character and a variety of moral lessons. Eventually, I grew fond of Jewish film, films about Jews, and films by Jewish directors—Woody Allen, the Coen Brothers and Spielberg, in particular. The Sacramento Jewish Film Festival, happening this weekend at the Crest Theatre, will screen four films—across multiple genres—relating to the Jewish experience.

The festival begins Saturday night with a screening of Holy Land Hardball, at 7 p.m. It documents the story of a Boston bagel maker who attempts to create a baseball league in

Teens TEEN HAVEN: Middle and high school teens are invited to a Teen Haven event that features pizza, soda, contests and prizes, a scavenger hunt, games and a movie. F, 3/9, 6pm. $2. Riverview Community Center, 10700 Ambassador Dr. in Rancho Cordova.

Concerts INDOOR DRUMLINE AND GUARD COMPETITION: The McClatchy Marching Band presents an NCBA competition featuring more than 20 indoor percussion and color guard groups from high schools around California. F, 3/9, 4pm. $5-$8. C.K. McClatchy High School. 3066 Freeport Blvd.; (916) 264-4400; http://ckmband.org/ me5/ManeEventVSplash.html.

10SAT

DON’T MISS! UKRAINIAN EASTER EGG WORKSHOP: Taught by mem-

bers of the local Ukrainian Club, this art form is steeped in tradition and cultural history. Called Pysanka in Ukrainian and derived from the verb pysaty, meaning “to write,” this ornate yet surprisingly simple process dates back to the pagan days before Christianity. The art is based on coloring the eggs using wax-resistant dyes.

Sa, 3/10, 9:30-11:30am. $25.

La Sierra Community Center; 5325 Engle Rd. in Carmichael; (916) 483-7826.

Israel. Those who stick around afterward can also see This Is Sodom at 9 p.m. It appears to be a Monty Python-esque Israeli comedy that takes place in biblical times and tells the story of a historical Sin City called Sodom. Decidedly unkosher, the trailer previews a number of hilarious scenes, including quick cuts of a bacon market, an ancient casino and go-go dancers.

Film screenings continue Sunday afternoon at 1 p.m. First is Ahead of Time: The Ruth Gruber Story, a documentary chronicling the life of the prominent American journalist, photographer and government official who turned 100 years old in September 2011. Then at 3:15 p.m., the festival screens Inside Hannah’s Suitcase, based on the true story of a teacher in Japan who uncovers the story of a suitcase owned by a young Czech girl killed in the Holocaust.

Tickets for the entire festival cost $40, a one-day pass costs $20, and individual film tickets cost $9.50 to $10.50. For more information, call (916) 442-5189, or visit www.sacjff.org.

Special Events Hawaiian Islands themselves, Hapa’s pan-Polynesian music is an amalgam of infuences ranging from ancient genealogical chants to the strummed ballads of Portuguese fisherman.

Joining them will be Hawaiian comedian Mel Cabang. Sa, 3/10, 9pm. $20-$30. Cache Creek Casino Resort, 14455 Hwy. 16 in Brooks; (888) 772-2243; www.cachecreek.com.

MARDI GRAS PARTY & CAJUN COOK-OFF: Fun at this event includes a Cajun cook-off, live music from Late For Dinner, a blackjack tournament, a saloon, a fortune teller and a mock jailhouse. All proceeds from this event will go to the exterior renovation of the Historic Sutter Creek Grammar School. Sa, 3/10, 6:30pm. $5-$15.

Sutter Creek Auditorium, 18

11SUN

Kids’ Stuff

Main St. in Sutter Creek.

HAPA WITH MEL CABANG: Like the

STORY HOUR AT THE AVID READER:

Art Galleries SACRAMENTO GAY & LESBIAN CENTER: THEshow, THEshow’s mission is to showcase both emerging and established artists of the Sacramento region in an environment of creativity, love and acceptance. Second Sa of every month, 5-9pm through 12/8.

Free. 1927 L St., (916) 442-0185.

UNION HALL GALLERY: As Simple As Flowers and Faces, this show features the work of printmaker Jesus Cruz Jr. and illustrator Rachel Smith. Working separately but simultaneously, these artists feature work that incorporates portraiture and floral motifs to showcase themes of friends, family and people past.

Sa, 3/10, 6-9pm. Free. Contact Carol Davydova (916) 217-7500, cdavydova@comcast.net, http:// for details on this exhibit.

2126 K St.; (916) 448-2452.

Screen captures from Inside Hannah’s Suitcase (top two) and Ahead of Time: The Ruth Gruber Story.

Northern California author Joanne Veeck will read from her new children’s book Your Leaves Are Pretty, a heartwarming story about the trees at Capitol Park in Sacramento.

The story relates the challenges of young trees being uprooted from their homes and replanted in a new environment to young children going off to school for the first time. Sa, 3/10, 2pm. Free. Avid Reader at the Tower; 1600 Broadway; (916) 441-4400.

DON’T MISS! SHARING HOPE: JAPAN ONE YEAR LATER: Hear from

members of the SJUMC Japan Earthquake Recovery United Methodist Volunteers in Mission team as they share stories and photos from their recent work in Japan. The Japanese Consulate has also been invited to talk about the progress of the recovery efforts in Japan. Local guitarist Mark McLean will be playing before the event and Sakura Chorus will be performing a few selections during the program. Su, 3/11, 1-2pm. Free. Sacramento Japanese United Methodist Church; 6929 Franklin Blvd.; (916) 421-1017; www.sacjumc.com.

Sports & Recreation HUMBUG-WILLOW CREEK TRAIL WALK: The Sacramento Walking Sticks Volkssport Club will be hosting one of its favorite walks exploring the HumbugWillow Creek trails. There will a 5k (3.1-mile) and a 10k (6.2-mile) route. Everyone is welcome to join in the fun, including the family dog; strollers, wagons, wheelchairs are all able to traverse these routes. Sa, 3/10, 9am-noon. Free or $3 for volkswalk credit. Elvie Perazzo Briggs Park; 125 Maseau Dr. in Folsom.

wine, food tasting and awardwinning jazz groups, presented by the Folsom High School Music Boosters. All proceeds support the Folsom High School music programs. Sa, 3/10, 610pm. $35-$40. Folsom Community Center; 52 Natoma St. in Folsom; (916) 599-2678; http://fhsmb.ejoinme.org/MyEv ents/2012WineandJazz/tabid/34 4875/Default.aspx.

Meetings & Groups Sacramento Public Library is hosts fans of Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright and actor Sam Shepard. This discussion program, From Page to Stage: Bringing Shepard’s Archetypal Characters to Life, will feature the director, artistic director Stephanie Gularte, and professional actors from the cast of the Capital Stage production of True West. A brief scene from the play will also be performed.

Su, 3/11, 2pm. Free. Sacramento Public Library (Central Branch); 828 I St.; (916) 264-2770; www.saclib.org.

State’s celebration of choral music, will welcome special guest choirs from Antelope High School and the Weimar Adventist Academy. Sa, 3/10, 8pm. $5-$10. Sacred Heart Church; 1040 39th St.; (916) 278-5155; www.csus.edu/music.

DAVID MUNNELLY BAND: Led by Irish button accordion virtuoso David Munnelly, who has worked extensively with The Chieftains and DeDanann, the award-winning David Munnelly Band is an exciting sextet that combines button accordion, fiddle, guitar, mandolin, banjo, bodhran, and flute in a spirited instrumental sound inspired by jazz and ragtime. Sa, 3/10, 8pm. $12-$29. Three Stages at Folsom Lake College; 10 College Pkwy. in Folsom; (916) 608-6888; www.ThreeStages.net.

INVISIBLE CHILDREN FILM AND GUEST SPEAKER: Join Invisible Children’s newest film screening of Kony 2012 and hear a Ugandan survivor from the LRA conflict speaking. The film is about Joseph Kony, one of the world’s worst war criminals. He has abducted more than 30,000 children in Central Africa and forced them to be child soldiers. M, 3/12, 7-9:30pm.

Free. Sacramento State University University Union; 6000 J St.; (916) 207-5349; www.invisiblechildren.com.

Santana, a 28-year-old vocalist, composer, and songwriter with strong Bay Area roots, is a monster on the keys. His maternal grandfather was blues pioneer Saunders King and his paternal grandfather was the internationally celebrated violinist and mariachi bandleader Jose Santana. And, of course, his father is Grammy-winning Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Carlos Santana Sa, 3/10, 7pm. $15-$20.

Antigua Cantina & Grill, 2019 O St.; (877) 722-2684.

FEATURE

STORY

Wait, there’s more!

Looking for something to do? Use SN&R’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online.

Art galleries and musems, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunies—all this and more on our free events calendar at www.newsreview.com.

Start planning your week!

14WED Classes

I LOST MY JOB - NOW WHAT?: If

EVERYONE HAS A STORY: This is a presentation by Margaret Downey, feminist and freethought leader, author of the Richard Dawkins Award, and founder of the AntiDiscrimination Support Network.

Downey will describe her journey from being a baptized, practicing Catholic to an outspoken leader in the nontheist and feminist community. Tu, 3/13, 7pm. Free.

Sierra 2 Center, 2791 24th St.; (916) 443-5448; www.aofonline.org.

POLITICAL COMMUNICATION IS LECTURE TOPIC: Attentive and Wrong: The Scourge of Misinformation in American Politics is a lecture by Sacramento State government Professor Kim Nalder. Nalder’s teaching and research focus on voting behavior, mass media and women in politics. Tu, 3/13, 3pm.

Free. Sacramento State Library Gallery; 6000 J St.; (916) 278-5954; http://library.csus.edu.

VERGE DIRECTOR SPEAKS AT SAC STATE: Sac State alumna Liv Moe is the next speaker in Sac State’s Professions of Art lecture series.

Moe is the director of Sacramento’s Verge Center for the Arts, and was named Arts Executive of the Year by the Sacramento Metropolitan Arts Commission. Under Moe’s guidance the Verge received a $10,000 Arts Innovation Fund grant and developed a quarterly film program at the Crest Theatre. Tu, 3/13, 6:30pm. Free.

Sacramento State Kadema Hall Room 145; 6000 J St.; (916) 278-6166; www.al.csus.edu/art.

ST. BALDRICK’S EVENT: Join this St.

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Symphony Orchestra will perform in Capistrano Hall’s Music Recital Hall. Tickets are available at the University Ticket Office or www.tickets.com. Tu, 3/13, 8pm. $5-$10. Sacramento State Music Recital Hall, 6000 J St.; (916) 278-5155; www.csus.edu/music.

Special Events

Special Events Baldrick’s event, and whether you decide to shave your head, volunteer, or donate, we you’ll be a part of the excitement.

The St. Baldrick’s Foundation is

SAC STATE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERT: Sacramento State’s

URBANIZED: The Central Valley branch of the American Institute of Architects presents a film night featuring Urbanized.

This American independent documentary frames a global discussion on the future of cities. The movie explores a diverse range of urban design projects in dozens of cities around the world, from massive infrastructure to temporary interventions. Tu, 3/13, 6pm. $5-$10. Crest Theatre, 1013 K St.; (916) 442-7378.

DON’T MISS!

have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but it’s unhealthy when it flares up all the time or spirals out of control. Learn how to express your feelings in healthier ways and keep your temper from hijacking your life. Tu, 5-6pm through 12/18. Opens 3/6. $25.

Center for Fathers and Families; 920 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 568-3237, ext. 210; www.fathersandfamilies.com.

Concerts

DON’T MISS!

12MON

SALVADOR SANTANA: Salvador

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13TUES

NOTABLE BOOKS PROGRAM: The

CHORALFEST: Choralfest, Sac

FRONTLINES

Sacramento Suburban Writers Club features guest speaker Ross Wise. Refreshments available. M, 3/12, 7pm. Free.

Crossroads Christian Fellowship; 5501 Dewey Dr. in Fair Oaks; www.sactowriters.com.

Performances by dance groups of many nationalities from the Sacramento area. The finale is a Scottish group from the Bay Area with live music. This is followed by an hour of easy dances everyone can try. Su, 3/11, 1pm. $10 per person, under 18 free.

Sacramento State University University Union; 6000 J St.; (916) 278-6997; www.folkdancesac.org.

THE 10TH ANNUAL WINE & JAZZ FESTIVAL: Enjoy an evening of

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SACRAMENTO SUBURBAN WRITERS CLUB: This meeting of the

INTERNATIONAL DANCE CONCERT:

letters and considering job offers. Registration is required by calling the library at (916) 264-2920. Tu, 3/13, 3pm. Free.

Antelope Library; 4235 Antelope Rd. in Antelope; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

TAMING YOUR TEMPER: Do you

Meetings & Groups

Special Events

Concerts

5BEFORE

a volunteer-driven charity that funds more in childhood cancer research grants than any organization except the U.S. government. M, 3/12, 5pm. Free. de Veres Irish Pub; 1521 L St.; (916) 231-9947; www.deverespub.com.

you’re having trouble keeping up with the bills, join this class to learn what steps you can take to avoid a financial disaster, including budgeting, credit counseling and a tool called cost/benefit analysis. W, 3/14, 11am. Free. Pocket-Greenhaven Library; 7335 Gloria Dr.; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

Concerts CONCERT BAND: Sacramento State’s Concert Band will perform in Capistrano Hall’s Music Recital Hall. Tickets are available at the University Ticket Office, or www.tickets.com. W, 3/14, 7:30pm. $5-$10.

Sacramento State Music Recital Hall; 6000 J St.; (916) 278-5155; www.csus.edu/music.

JAYME STONES ROOM OF WONDERS: Two-time Juno-winning banjoist Jayme Stone makes music inspired by folk traditions from around the world. His latest album, Room of Wonders, explores music from Norway, Sweden, Bulgaria, Brazil, Italy and North America. W, 3/14, 7:30pm. $15-$18. North Columbia Schoolhouse Cultural Center; 179894 Tyler Foote Rd. in Nevada City; (530) 265-2826; http://northcolumbiaschool house.org/events.html.

WEDNESDAY NOONER: COUNTER CULTURE: California Reggae Rockers Counter Culture perform a show as part of the ongoing Wednesday Nooner Series presented by Sac State Unique. W, 3/14, noon. Free.

Sacramento State Student Union, Redwood Room; 6000 J St.; (916) 278-6267.

Classes GET THE JOB YOU WANT: Learn

A RT S & C U LT U R E

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DISH

Gringo-wiches See FOOD STUFF

Still top dog The Wienery 715 56th Street, (916) 455-0497, www.thewienerysacramento.com

by GREG LUCAS

Rating:

★★★★ Dinner for one:

$6 - $12

★

FLAWED

★★ HAS MOMENTS

★★★ APPEALING

★★★★ AUTHORITATIVE

★★★★★ EPIC

Still hungry?

Search SN&R’s “Dining Directory” to find local restaurants by name or by type of food. Sushi, Mexican, Indian, Italian— discover it all in the “Dining” section at www.newsreview.com.

BEFORE

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Not to rip away the tattered veneer of objectivity, but The Wienery is wondrous— wondrous in ways that go well beyond gustatory satisfaction Transcendental. Metaphysical, even.

Over the years, this 35-year-old East Sacramento landmark has seen any number of other tenants in its strip mall flourish and fade. And yet The Wienery remains, doggedly selling its bevy of old-fashioned steamed franks—don’t forget the sausages— to a clientele that cuts broadly across Sacramento’s socioeconomic and demographic lines.

Politicians. Musicians. Neighborhood regulars. Students. Collars of blue, white and clerical. It boils down to this: Sit down within the hallowed cinderblock walls, lined with faded snapshots depicting the restaurant’s prior customers, and you’ll know that the counter (lunch) culture is not dead.

Personally, The Wienery resonates in part because it was a top dining choice of two now-dead pals: Tony Anthony, the former head of the Department of General Services, a mentor and true friend at a time when there were few others; and state Sen. Dave Cox, gruff but kindly, whose first suggestion for any lunch meeting was invariably the Big W. When eating the chili—co-owner Carolyn prefers the frijoles-only version—or ordering a second cup of creamy, clamheavy chowder, available every Friday, it’s impossible not to conjure memories of those two and understand why they thrived on settling into a seat at the long L-shaped counter.

It’s good, also, to perhaps channel their inner Chi-Town with a frosty mug of root beer and an authentic Windy City: dill spears, tomato, mustard, onion, pepperoncini and celery salt.

Ketchup be damned.

The Wienery casts back to a simpler, custom-friendlier time. Here, a patron may ask Hector, Carolyn’s husband, for a bit more of this, a tad less of that or a hearty portion of something not suggested in the menu to modify any of the designer dogs.

And Hector makes it happen. No doubt if someone ordering Monday’s Shroom Dog special (no, not that kind) sought a splash or five of the homemade cucumber relish used in the Windy City or the freakishly addicting red pepper relish that offers a bright yin to the tangy yang of mustard and spicy sausage on the Italian Summer Dog, any or all would be cheerfully appended. Sticking to the suggested combinations, however, can lead to some very tasty, sometimes startling, discoveries.

The menu warns that the Fiesta Dog— refried beans, onions, cheese, lettuce, FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

tomatoes and taco sauce—is “surprisingly good.” Who can quarrel with truth in advertising? Even a simple, straightforward creation such as the Ranch Dog, starring—natch—ranch dressing, can engender a “Whoa, tasty!”

Elsewhere in the truth-in-advertising file, the potato and macaroni salads are described in the menu as “famous.” Given its uniqueness, it’s easy to see how the fame of the macaroni salad would spread. Also, two thumbs-up for Tuesday’s lentil soup.

Sacramento 3/12 • DaviS 3/15

Ketchup be damned.

Why steamed dogs rather than grilled, one might wonder? Steamed is the traditional Chicago way, where even the bun is steamed into spongy submission. Steaming is not boiling: The dogs languorously loll above the bubbling fray on a perforated surface, growing more succulent by the second. On the other hand, The Wienery’s sausages—such as the prodigious Polish or Tofurky Kielbasa—are all grilled as is the bacon-wrapped dog with its not-easily forgettable jalapeño relish. So despite stressing steamed, both schools of thought are represented—a fine compromise.

Hector and Carolyn seem happy in their work, whether steaming or grilling or slapping together soups, chili and relishes from scratch.

And Sacramento should be happy that they are happy about maintaining the majesty of one of the city’s enduring institutions. Ω

getbald.com

MIDTOWN’S NEWEST ICO N

THE V WORD Jokerz satisfies better Every time I see a Snickers candy bar, I think of two things: the Ironman athlete who didn’t eat her whole bar and wound up soiling herself near the finish line, and the abysmal conditions in factory farms that the dairy in the milk chocolate comes from. Both are pretty shitty situations. Triathlete Julie Moss recovered from the incident, but the factory farms are still an issue. So if you must indulge, Go Max Go Food’s Jokerz candy bar is a more compassionate yet super delicious facsimile made with rice-milk chocolate instead.

The company also makes vegan versions of 3 Musketeers (Buccaneer), Almond Joy (Mahalo) and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (Cleo’s).

Find a vendor of the sweet stuff nearest to you at www.gomaxgofoods.com.

—Shoka STORY

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

URGERS SQUEEZE B GERS U VEGGIE B R NDWICHES A S EAK SQUEEZEST

TU-THUR 11AM -9PM FRI-SAT 11AM-11PM SUNDAY 11AM-6PM CLOSED MONDAYS

1630 K St • Sacramento • 916-492-2499 SN&R | AFTER | 03.08.12 | | 31

DISH Where to eat?

stripes of peppers awash in olive oil.

Speaking of olive oil, it’s all that’s needed to accompany the fluffy, light focaccia, whose four rectangles come neatly stacked. Share The Press with someone you love.

Mediterranean. 1809 Capitol Ave., (916) 444-2566. Dinner for one: $15-$30. ★★★1⁄2

Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations, updated regularly. Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

Sampino’s Towne Foods Sampino’s Towne Foods turns out to be a bright jewel in a drab Alkali Flat strip mall of paycheck cashers and laundromat. It’s everything an Italian deli should be and more, right down to the Louie Prima on the box and the timpano in the refrigerated display case. Several lobbyists, who elect to drive the six to seven blocks from their offices near the capitol, to pick up sandwiches or—in one instance—five meatballs, begin spewing superlatives when asked their views on Sampino’s. Italian Deli. 1607 F St., (916) 441-2372. Dinner for one: $7-$15. ★★★★1⁄2

Midtown

Mati’s There’s a reason “Indian Express” was part of Mati’s previous title. A variety of dishes are offered daily in a buffet, but Mom serves instead of diners slopping stuff onto their own plates. Options are fairly straightforward: A small dish at $6.99 with rice and two items, and a large, which has up to four items, at $8.99. Subtract $1 if going vegetarian. There’s five dishes in the daily veg rotation, most of them vegan. Offerings run the gamut from mild to spicy, although the temperature of spicy is well within tolerance, except for the most heat adverse. This is straightup, nicely prepared Indian food without frills. Mom and daughter make it even more appealing. Indian.

1501 16th St.; (916) 341-0532. Dinner for one: $9-$12. ★★★

previous visit. Mexican. 1200 K St., (916) 441-7200. Dinner for one: $12-$20. ★★★★

Thir13en From the start—and, lo, these many weeks hence—the situp-take-notice plate remains the pork tonnato sandwich. It’s the Italian peasant spread or sauce made with tonno—tuna—tonnato that empowers this open-face masterwork. Spread on a toasted half baguette, the tonnato is the foundation upon which the pork rests.

Above the pork is an awning of mixed greens, with a generous overhang, sprinkled with not enough crispy onions and paperthin slices of pickled fennel. There isn’t space to wax poetic about the cordon bleu sandwich, the burger, the designer cocktails or the fizzy

ote”

ctors N r “Do ad you .com for a lo n w o D ters at Hoo

other half of the restaurant swap on J Street that sent Vanilla Bean Bistro (formerly known as Gonul’s J Street Cafe) to Formoli’s old warren and brought Formoli’s into its current high-ceilinged, spare, dark cranberry space of black tables and chairs just six blocks away. Flavor combinations are a big part of the Formoli playbook, and the blend of the tower’s components is the payoff just as it is in the salad of beets—wafer-thin enough to be used interchangeably in the

Remember the old jingle, “Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don’t?” Well here in California, we have mounds of nuts. Specifically, almonds. California harvests almost 2 billion pounds of almonds a year, making it the No. 2 ag crop after wine grapes.

All those nuts account for up to 80 percent of the entire world’s supply! We’ve even got our very own Blue Diamond factory in downtown Sacramento, from which wafts the hunger-inducing scent of roasted almonds. All those nuts also have kept us in the green for many years.

fresh—in many dishes. And the tabbouleh delivers a roundhousepunch flavor combination. Turkish.

3260-B J St., (916) 457-1155. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★★1⁄2

Vanilla Bean Bistro Gonul’s J Street Cafe has moved up the street and evolved into the Vanilla Bean Bistro. Its narrow, lowceilinged coziness is consonant with its understated, whatever-theimpulse-inspires alchemy that owner/chef Gonul Blum, has shown over the past eight years. Blum hails from Turkey. That country’s culinary tradition provides a sturdy foundation, but for her, it serves more as a launching pad. A recurring feature practiced here is the inclusion of fruit—preserved and

Land Park/ Curtis Park

by ANNE MARTIN ROLKE

In fact, there’s been an almond festival in the Capay Valley for almost a century now. The 2012 festival occurs on Sunday, March 11, in the towns of Esparto, Capay, Brooks, Guinda and Rumsey, with music, crafts, rides, a fun run, and lots and lots of nutty treats. You can enter the cookie-baking and candy-making contest, or get your crawling baby in the Fastest Little Nut Derby (more information is at www.espartoregionalchamber.com/ AlmondFestival.aspx). With the warm winter, we should have a full bloom on the almond trees. And if you really know what your nuts are about, be sure to say “almonds” like it rhymes with “salmons.”

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Pangea Two Brews Cafe Tables, tall and short, are large and communal, fostering that casual camaraderie that should be the goal of any self-respecting brewpub. There’s a fairly extensive menu, including breakfast items.

Not to put too fine a point on it: Pangaea’s offerings are not beers that will be found at Save Mart or even Nugget. They are nuanced.

Brewed with artisanship. In some

“One of the

& watch all tournament the games here !

FEVER?

Formoli’s Bistro Formoli’s is the

carpaccio—with shaved fennel, frisée, a few orange segments and pistachios laced with a stentorian balsamic vinaigrette. Mediterranean.

3839 J St., (916) 448-5699. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★★★

Rhymes with ‘salmon’

Play Hooky with us

Got TBALL E K S A B

East Sac

EAT IT AND REAP

Tequila Museo Mayahuel On each visit chef Ramiro Alarcón offers a tantalizing taste of what’s to come. One time it’s a tart, fishladen ceviche that’s neither sugary nor syrupy. Another it’s a cup of albondigas soup. For many years, 524 Mexican Restaurant had cornered the market on meatball soup. Mayahuel’s is superior: a thicker, more flavorful broth and generously sized meatballs.

Bookending the meal is a complimentary dessert. The free flan is memorable, but spending $5 on mango cheesecake is a Lincoln well-invested. Mayahuel seems to be benefiting from positive word of mouth. Each time is busier than the

The Press Bistro There are flashes of Greece, such as the crisscross rows of bare light bulbs over the front patio. Or the summery small plate of stacked watermelon squares with feta and mint.

Even Italian vegetarians get cut into the action with mushroom ravioli and its corn, leek and dill triumvirate. Another special is a colorful small plate of pepperonata—slightly-pickled-in-champagne-vinegar

water from Wales. See for yourself.

Very authoritative. American.

1300 H St., (916) 594-7669.

Dinner for one: $12-$20. ★★★★

ARDEN 1785 Challenge Way (916) 927-9464

NATOMAS 541 Truxel Road (916) 929-9464

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North Sac

Enotria Restaurant and Wine Bar The longtime eatery’s reworked patio cries out for lazing on an amber autumn afternoon. Enotria is an enophile’s dream. The waiters here speak fluent wine and their knowledge is both capacious and definitive.

Enotria promises “Food made for wine made for food,” and it delivers on the pledge. The paella remains Enotria’s signature dish.

A recent $32 prix-fixe meal begins with a rectangular plate upon which is served an alternating line of caramelized plantains and campaign-button size pork tenderloins. The accompanying wine is a 2008 white burgundy, Olivier LeFlaive “Les Setilles.” The one-two punch here is, obviously, the food and wine. But the knockout punch—at least when all cylinders are firing—is the delivery. American. 1431 Del Paso Blvd., (916) 922-6792. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★★★1⁄2

South Sac Sabaidee Thai Grille If the menu at Sabaidee Thai Grille is any indication, pumpkin and other squashes play a major role in Laotian cuisine, which, in turn, plays a major role at Sabaideee.

Sabaidee—“hello” in Lao—requires fortitude to find. The khalii khapou, listed as “curried crab stew” on the menu, comes from the hometown of the matriarch who is happy to answer questions about the ingredients and volunteers what is apparent after one mouthful: real crab is used. On the appetizer front, the pumpkin wontons are a new enough addition that they’ve yet to appear on Sabaidee’s website. A word about the freebie salad that accompanies each meal: expect mixed greens, a dash of carrot shreds, cucumber chunks, a quarter of a tomato, a spattering of sesame seeds and what taste like fried shallots. All this with a tamarind emboldened dressing. Now that’s a freebie.

Service can be kinda slow and tentative, but certainly part of that is due to the freshness of the fare.

Sabaidee isn’t cheap, but it’s a quality meal for the price.

Thai/Laotian. 8055 Elk Grove-Florin Rd., (916) 681-8286. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★1⁄2

Arden/ Carmichael

Ambience It’s not surprising the folks at Zagat have done a fair amount of hyperventilating over Ambience, the decidedly upscale eatery on Fair Oaks Boulevard.

Where else in Carmichael can you

find a $222 meal for two—without alcohol? There is coulis and confit and soufflé and brûlée and reductions and stuff that’s sliced wafer thin and, of course, vast white real estate that surrounds the small portions served on the plates. As the meal progresses, the presentation of the food gets better and better, as does the complexity of the offerings. Baked Alaska for dessert is as rich and decadent. It is also the largest item to appear on a plate all evening.

Kudos to chef and owner Morgan Song for a truly memorable meal.

American. 6440 Fair Oaks Blvd., (916) 489-8464. Dinner for one: $60 and up. ★★★★★

ILLUSTRATION BY MARK STIVERS

cases for hundreds of years. A large number are Belgian. There’s the usual panoply of French dip, hot pastrami, Reuben and so on.

Among the signature offerings is The Gobbler. Turkey, natch.

Cranberry sauce, natch. Then red onion, several roma tomato slices, a thicket of green leaf and pepper jack cheese, all shoehorned into a big baguette.

Brewpub. 2743 Franklin Blvd., (916) 454-4942. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★1⁄2

1608 Howe Ave., Ste. 5; (916) 920-5930. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★★1⁄2

Nagato Sukiyaki Nagato Sukiyaki’s website says that it is the oldest Japanese restaurant in Sacramento; its doors opened here 41 years ago. And yet business is brisk. Perhaps part of the attraction is the menu with sushi rolls priced well-below the mid-tohigh teens. Another bright spot is sushi chef and owner Don Kawano, who extolls virtues of simple rolls such as albacore, avocado and jalapeño that are unsullied by myriad sauces. The menu runs the gamut of Japanese cuisine: somen, soba, udon and a variety of generously portioned bento boxes. The warmth of chef Kawano and the familiar feel of a longtime quiet neighborhood fixture are the restaurant’s trump cards. Sushi. 2874 Fulton Ave., (916) 489-8230. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★1⁄2

Arigato Sushi Tucked inconspicuously into a strip mall on Howe Avenue, Arigato’s décor seems skewed to a youngish demographic: One wall is lit with changing colors— blue, green, magenta.

The miso is somewhat bereft of the tofu and seaweed flotsam and jetsam found in many bowls elsewhere. The poki, with slices of cucumber and onion, is artfully presented and more than lives up to its “three red chili” billing in the menu with an unrelenting assault on the tongue. The chef recommends the Spanish mackerel (aji) over the mackerel for dessert.

He’s right, of course. There are beginner’s sushi samplers, bento boxes, udon, teriyaki and sukiyaki options. But Arigato’s chief attraction is raw fish bits. And if that’s what you crave, then this place’s crowds you should brave. Sushi.

Palenque Cocina Mexicana Palenque’s flautas don’t taste greasy—something of a feat—and are presented on a bed of shredded lettuce with zigzags of cheese and mayo rivaling the handiwork of the Lilliputians on Gulliver. Kinda don’t want to tear into it—for like a second or two. Requests are readily accommodated, like bringing buckets of the habanero miracle salsa, which, based on the minuteness of the dice, must be quite a labor-intensive hassle to create. Mexican. 2598 Alta Arden Expwy., (916) 483-1751. Dinner for one: $6-$12. ★★★1⁄2

Food-film fest If you’re a fan of the Food Network, here’s eye candy for you: The Sacramento Food Film Festival runs all day Saturday at the Guild Theater. Featuring screenings of eight documentaries, the festival offers an educational look at a smorgasbord of topics related to food—government regulations, family farmers and school lunches, among others—all related to food. Films include Dive, Farmaggedon, Lunch Line and Ingredients. There will also be an hour-long panel discussion with local farmers, and healthy movie snacks will be provided by Whole Foods Markets. The theater only holds 200 people, so tickets will likely be in short supply.

The Sacramento Food Film Festival happens from 10:15 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Saturday, March 10, at the Guild Theater, 2828 35th Street. Tickets are $25-$30 for the entire festival or $6 per film. For more information, contact sacpchef@gmail.com, or visit www.sacfoodfilmfest.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

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COOLHUNTING Holy spirits City of God cocktail For Lent this year I decided to give up tasty and relaxing adult beverages. But I hadn’t realized, at the time, that Sacramento Beer Week also commenced the DRINK first weekend of Lent—I mean, not even Jesus had to put up with that kind of temptation, but whatever. As much as I love beer, what I really want is a City of God. Yes, it’s a cocktail named after the 2002 movie City of God and served at the new Indian-food eatery, Monsoon Cuisine of India. This drink will set you back $9—yeah, that’s more than an entire pitcher of PBR, but some things are just worth more than four-and-a-half glasses of Pabst. At Monsoon, bar manager Tim Varner uses fresh, organic and some local ingredients for his innovative, spice-infused syrups. The drinks are all named after Varner’s favorite movies, and many of them are inspired by Indian recipes. City of God’s starring flavor is tamarind; and the drink is balanced out with a mouthful of apricot and wisps of lime—the perfect spirit to douse a parched Lenten palate. Lord knows I’m weak. Monsoon Cuisine of India, 1020 16th Street; www.monsoonsacramento.com.

—Matthew W. Urner

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School of rock Women in Rock at the Sacramento Public Library March is Women’s History Month, and the North Sacramento-Hagginwood Library intends to celebrate. Loudly. Librarian Jessica Zaker, co-producer of the library’s unconventional adult programming, Alt+library, will play at least one song by a different female rocker at 3:30 p.m. every day this month. She’s also created a photo collage of women musicians. Patrons who correctly identify every iconic rocker are eligible MUSIC for a chance to win a $30 iTunes gift card. Stop by the branch to sing, dance and flex your air-guitar muscles in the habitually quiet stacks. It’s educational!

North Sacramento-Hagginwood Library, 2109 Del Paso Boulevard; http://altlibrary.com.

—Becca Costello

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Championship snark Fug Madness Start flexing your judgment muscles. Fug Madness, hosted by humorous celebrity-fashion blog Go Fug Yourself, begins Tuesday, March 13. Modeled after college basketball’s March Madness, Fug Madness enrolls 65 of the year’s most unfortuFASHION nately dressed celebrities in an elimination tournament. Readers vote to determine the fugliest outfits, while debating the true essence of fug. Are fame-mongers dressing for attention (see 2011 Fug champion Taylor Momsen’s vag-flashing girdle dress) fuglier than celebs disheveled by poor lifestyle choices? Can fug be a sign of fashion-forward edginess? Ponder these questions—and exercise your democratic right to assert that leggings are not pants. www.gofugyourself.com.

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—Becca Costello

Teach me how to (B-boy) VincaniTV Wanna see my sweet dance moves? Actually, I don’t have any, and I tend to clear dance floors with my awkward dancing. But, next time I hit the floor, maybe I’ll have learned a few moves from Sacramento Kings Breaker Vince “B-Boy Vincanity” Horiuchi. Since September 2011, B-Boy Vincanity has been working on a YouTube video series called How to Breakdance. With easy-to-duplicate, step-by-step instrucWEB tion, it’s no wonder why the VincaniTV YouTube channel has already amassed more than a million views. Check it out for yourself, and learn tons of B-boy moves—everything from toprocking to floor work. Don’t stop the boogie. www.youtube.com/vincanitv.

—Jonathan Mendick

ASK JOEY Show me the money

by JOEY GARCIA

Joey

wishes remodeling was easier.

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question— all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

I manage a boutique part time.

Since I took over, sales are up, and the owner took her first vacation in six years and I did not need to call her. I recently learned that the college students who work for me earn more money than I do. I am 32 years old, have more experience, a fashion-merchandising degree and a better work ethic than anyone here. Why would my boss do this? How do I get a raise?

Ask for a raise, but don’t mention what the other employees earn.

Comparing yourself to them is a distraction. Focus instead on the benefits you bring to the business.

Tell your boss how much you enjoy your career. Let her know you can see yourself working at the shop for years to come. If she suspects you know about the wage difference, she may offer an explanation. Listen and counter with your request for a raise. But before making a pitch for a fatter paycheck, think back to the day of your interview. Did you appear so desperate for work that you would take any wage? And while employed, did you hope for recognition? If you hungered for your boss’ affirmation and an automatic reward, you may believe that asking for appropriate compensation is egotistical. It’s not; it’s self-care. A simpler path is to value yourself enough to ask for what you want and deserve.

You may believe that asking for appropriate compensation is egotistical. It’s not; it’s self-care.

After scoring a raise, encourage your boss to open store finances to you. Sound crazy? In the book, The One-Minute Entrepreneur authors Ken Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis write: “Smart managers realize that when people understand the business realities of how their company makes money, they are much more apt to roll up their sleeves and help out. When this happens everyone feels a sense of ownership, because they begin to

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realize how their efforts impact the company’s bottom line.” The authors point out that most business owners don’t share true financial data with employees who need to know because business owners are “more concerned with looking successful than getting help to be successful.” By being and staying informed you will be able to help your boss earn more revenue and ensure that your paycheck only contains positive surprises in the future.

I am dating a man who has been married four times. He is not religious so he does not care— except he does see himself as failing in those relationships. He has gone to therapy and says he is not the same man he was. I believe him, but I worry about being his fifth ex-wife. I have never been married, but I have had two long-term relationships.

I have only known my boyfriend for six months, but things are serious, and I think he will ask me to marry him.

Honey, you do not have my permission to wed. Not because your boyfriend has been to the altar four times, but because you have only known him for six months.

Two years of being immersed in each other’s lives in thrilling and mundane ways will show you the truth of his character and yours. If you are a self-aware person, then 24 months together is plenty of time to discern whether you are in love with love (not him), if you are in love with being partnered (and anyone will do for a while), or if you are in love with your own idealized image of him (and not him, at all). Two years is also enough time, if you are conscious, to see his habits and determine whether he has truly changed (it’s possible) or not (also possible). It takes self-discipline not to rush ahead, but you are worth such care, right? Ω

Meditation of the week: “The church is the great lost and found department,” wrote Robert Short, a Christian minister. Joey agrees and adds, “The ones who think they are found, are often the most lost.” Why else would a political candidate attack a president’s faith as phony?

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Perfect murders only exist on paper—or so says the extremely smart mystery and crime writer, Max (Barry Hubbard) in the first act of the classic mystery, Dial “M” for Murder. Set in ’50s London, it also has the advantage of having been filmed by Alfred Hitchcock, so we’re guaranteed solid plot, interesting characters, and a long setup. It’s the opposite of Law & Order; instead by Kel Munger of opening with a body, we don’t get a corpse until the second act. kelm@ What we do get is the opportunity for some newsreview.com top-notch acting, especially from Matt K. Miller (as Tony, the former tennis pro and full-time sociopath who really, really wants his wife dead) and Hubbard (said wife’s former lover). The two are opposites in every way, save one: The ability to command the audience’s attention. Where Miller’s Tony is wily and duplicitous, Hubbard’s Max is a stand-up guy with a weakness for another man’s wife; both are fascinating.

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Dial “M” for Murder; 12:30 and 6:30 p.m. Wednesday and Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday, 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, and 2 p.m.

Sunday; $15-$38. Sacramento Theatre Company, 1419 H Street; (916) 443-6722; www.sactheatre.org. Through March 25.

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As Margot, the wife in question, Jackie Vanderbeck has very little to do—at least, once the murder is out of the way.

Fortunately, she does it with presence, so that we certainly understand why Max loves her and find Tony even less sympathetic for wanting to get rid of her.

As Detective Inspector Hubbard, Gary Alan Wright does a fun turn as a more urbane version of television favorite Columbo—“Just one more question …”—albeit given the age of the play, his character may have been the source for the trench-coated sleuth of renown.

Scott Divine is “Captain Lesgate”—one of several aliases for an old acquaintance of Tony’s with extremely low morals—the hired killer, who is tempted by Tony’s enticements to crime. He’s appropriately skeevy, though compared to Tony, he’s a villainous lightweight.

While the plot may be familiar, the twists and turns of character are what make this production work. Watching a really good villain get his comeuppance makes Dial “M” for Murder “dial “F” for fun. Ω

Bring me a julep, please Moonlight & Magnolias

Moonlight & Magnolias starts with an intriguing concept. Take the beloved 1939 movie classic Gone With the Wind and revisit it by imagining how the book was turned into the iconic film. There are shades of truth in playwright Ron Hutchinson’s take on how the best-selling Civil War epic became the Hollywood blockbuster. Stories abound on struggles with studios, stars and scripts, with egos running amok as deadlines loomed.

In Moonlight & Magnolias, the cast of characters has five days to turn the book into a screenplay, bringing together producer David O. Selznick, scriptwriter Ben Hecht and director Victor Fleming. And it turns out that movie making is like sausage—sometimes it’s best not to know how they’re made.

In this story, a panicked Selznick locks the three in his studio office, and madcap mayhem ensues. Big Idea Theatre makes the most of this somewhat problematic script with their talented performances and creative production.

Director Jouni Kirjola embraces the broad humor, creating great fast-paced banter and physical slapstick between the actors: Kirk Blackinton as Selznick, Benjamin T. Ismail as Hecht and Justin D. Muñoz as Fleming. In particular, it’s a joy to watch the interplay between Blackinton and Muñoz and their over-the-top antics.

And there’s a wonderful incorporation of movie magic with silent-movie strobe lights, a spot-on 1930s office set (complete with quick visits by the ever-patient studio secretary played by Gay Cooper), wonderful costumes and an enjoyable soundtrack.

It’s fun and funny while you’re on the rollicking rollercoaster. However, there’s an odd tonal shift that momentarily takes you out of wacky and smacks you with an odd commentary on racism in Hollywood. And there are times where you want to like the script so much more than you do. But overall, Moonlight & Magnolias creatively captures a comedic glimpse into the old studio system and the magic of movies and movie making.

—Patti Roberts

Moonlight & Magnolias; 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday; and 2:30 p.m. Sunday; $10-$15. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Boulevard; (916) 960-3036; www.bigideatheatre.com.

Through March 24.

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2

THE DANCE ON WIDOW’S ROW

Samm-Art Williams’ comedy about four widows with a reputation for murderous intent and the four men they try to entrap is an absurd comedy.

Unfortunately, this production, directed by James Wheatley, suffered from some late substitutions in the cast that led to a rough opening. With time to find their way, the wacky widows should be able to snare their men without stumbling. Th, F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 3/18. $8-$15. Celebration Arts, 4469 D St.; (916) 455-2787; www.celebrationarts.net. M.M.

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Good news—the Cosmopolitan Cabaret’s vivacious Broadway spoof possesses “smarts,” energy and attitude. With the ubiquitous Graham Sobelman at the keyboard, singers Jerry Lee, Jessica ReinerHarris, Melissa WolfKlain, and Marc Ginsburg gleefully send up everything from Annie to Cats. W

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4

THE IDEA MAN

A NorCal premiere of a prize-winning Los Angeles play, The Idea Man pits the 1 percenters against the 99 percenters as Al (Loren Taylor), a machinist, comes up with a billion-dollar idea that Frank (Eric Baldwin) is supposed to make marketable. Pressured by his boss (Charlie Holliday), Frank is torn between giving Al credit—and financial gain—and being a “company man.” Directed by Penny Kline with a talented supporting cast, The Idea Man puts late-industrial capitalism into perspective. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 3/17. $15-$20. The California Stage, 2509 R St.; (916) 451-5822; www.calstage.org. P.R.

In Absentia : Is it still a love story when somebody’s gone?

4

IN ABSENTIA

Absence, anxiety, loss and loneliness are at the heart of Canadian playwright Morris Panych’s latest play, getting its American debut here. An excellent cast—Elisabeth Nunziato, Kurt Johnson, David Pierini, Jamie Jones and Dan Fagan—tackles the wordy and sometimes problematic script with supreme confidence.

Tu 6:30pm; W 2pm & 6:30pm; Th, F 8pm; Sa 5pm & 9pm; Su 2pm. Through 4/15. $18-$30 with some student rush tickets available. The B Street Theatre; 2711 B St.; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. J.C.

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ROMEO & JULIET

This 90-minute version of Shakespeare’s play about starcrossed teen lovers gets punked as Nina Collins turns Romeo & Juliet into Sid and Nancy. With fantastic performances in the lead roles by Brennan Villados and Lia Rose and flavored with the music of the Buzzcocks and the Clash (among others), it’s an accessible updating. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 3/17. $12-$15. Resurrection Theatre at the Artisan Theatre, 1901 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 838-0618; www.resurrectiontheatre.com. P.R.

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Short reviews by Jim Carnes, Jeff Hudson, Maxwell McKee and Patti Roberts.

Longer reviews are available online at www.newsreview.com/sacramento.

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Show timeS valid mar 9 – mar 15, 2012 oPeNiNg friday, march 9

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iN the laND Of BlOOD aND hONeY Rated R

Fri 11:00 2:00 5:00 8:00 Sat-Sun 11:00 8:00 Mon & Wed 8:00 nightly - Not playing Tue or Thu

The title of the movie is actually John Carter of Mars, but you won’t see it on any of the posters; you won’t see it at all until the movie’s over and the by end credits start to roll. According to reports, Jim Lane director Andrew Stanton removed of Mars to appeal to a wider audience, changing the title to the shorter (and weaker) John Carter.

Fortunately, that’s about the only mistake Stanton has made in bringing Edgar Rice Burroughs’ seminal pulp-fiction adventure to the screen, and the movie itself, unlike the title, is anything but weak. The basis for the script by Stanton, Mark Andrews and Michael Chabon is Burroughs’ first novel A Princess of Mars, originally serialized as Under the Moons of Mars in The All-Story Magazine beginning in February 1912; Burroughs’ second most famous character makes his movie debut just a tad more than 100 years after first appearing in print.

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News & Review March 2.indd 1

3/1/12 11:56 A

Invite you and a guest to a special advance screening of

on Thursday, March 15 in Sacramento!

For your chance to receive two admit-one passes, log on to gofobo.com/ rsvp and enter the code: SNRNFQJ Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis, while supplies last.

THIS FILM IS RATED R. RESTRICTED. UNDER 17 REQUIRES ACCOMPANYING PARENT OR ADULT GUARDIAN.

Please note: Passes received through this promotion DO NOT guarantee you a seat at the theatre. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. No admittance once screening has begun. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket, and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Columbia Pictures, MGM, Allied-THA, Sac N&R, and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost; delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. NO PHONE CALLS!

Tall, strong, agile—and on Mars, he’s the bestlooking man around.

1 2 3 4 POOR

FAIR

GOOD

VERY GOOD

5 EXCELLENT

IN THEATERS FRIDAY, MARCH 16 38

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The movie has been brewing almost as long. Looney Tunes director Bob Clampett originally planned an animated feature in 1931, but nothing ever came of that, nor of The Walt Disney Studios’ plans in the 1980s to film it with director John McTiernan, nor Paramount Pictures a few years ago first with Robert Rodriguez directing, then Kerry Conran (Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow), then Jon Favreau (Iron Man). Finally, Paramount dropped the option in 2007, and Disney picked it up again, handing it off to Pixar and Stanton.

It’s a pity Burroughs and all of his 1912 fans are no longer with us, because what Disney, Pixar and Stanton have done with it was worth the wait.

The ironically named Taylor Kitsch plays John Carter, Civil War veteran from Virginia, gold prospector in the Arizona Territory in the 1880s, and all-around man of mystery, who finds himself miraculously transported to the planet Mars, which the local creatures call Barsoom.

One of the many tweaks Stanton and company make to Burroughs’ story is the manner of Carter’s transportation: In the movie it happens through the intervention of a Thern, a member

of a malign priesthood that didn’t make its appearance in Burroughs until his second book, The Gods of Mars. The movie brings them in early, expediting the plot and—if all goes well— setting up the sequels at least as far as the first three books, which make a tidy trilogy (the third book was The Warlord of Mars).

It’s a pity Edgar Rice Burroughs and all of his 1912 fans are no longer with us, because what Disney, Pixar and Andrew Stanton have done with his Mars story is worth the wait.

Because of Mars’ weaker gravity, the already strong and agile Carter finds that he has almost superhuman powers, and his prowess wins him the respect of the gigantic, green, four-armed Tharks, a fierce and bloodthirsty race led by Tars Tarkas (voice by Willem Dafoe), who becomes, to his own surprise, Carter’s best friend and dauntless ally. (In their first halting efforts to break down the language barrier, Tarkas misunderstands the Earthman’s introduction as “John Carter of Virginia” and thinks “Virginia” is his name—an amusing touch that Burroughs, wherever he is, probably wishes he had thought of himself.)

Carter also meets the Red Barsoomian princess Dejah Thoris of Helium (Lynn Collins, who needs no digital Pixar help to embody Burroughs’ luscious Martian damsel).

Carter becomes her champion in the struggle of Helium against its age-old enemy Zodanga, which is poised to conquer all of Barsoom with the help and guidance of the Therns. By his honor and unstinting valor, Carter crafts an alliance between Helium and the Tharks to resist the Zodangans and their malignant plans.

All of this, with minor tweaks and adjustments along the way, is surprisingly faithful to Burroughs’ original outlandish adventure. If there’s a problem with it, it’s merely that in taking so long to come to the screen, it may look a little old-hat to the uninitiated.

Burroughs’ Barsoom novels inspired generations of science fantasy and space opera (its influence on Star Trek and Star Wars, for example, is obvious to anybody with one eye, one ear and half a brain), but now it may seem to be taking up the tail end of the parade Edgar Rice Burroughs actually led.

But never mind. John Carter is great fun, faithful to both the spirit and the letter of A Princess of Mars. Here’s one lifelong Burroughs reader who hopes it does well enough to keep the series going. Ω

by JONATHAN KIEFER & JIM LANE

3

When a team of Navy SEALs rescue a CIA operative from the jungle compound of an international drug smuggler, they learn that she was on to something big: The smuggler was in cahoots with a militant jihadi bent on smuggling a troupe of suicide bombers into 16 American cities. Written by Kurt Johnstad and directed by Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh, here’s an action movie with a twist: The stars are real honest-to-goodness active-duty SEALs, and the combat scenes are filmed with live ammunition. Johnstad’s sometimes stilted dialogue taxes the cast’s acting ability between firefights, so it’s probably fortunate that the bullets never stop flying for long. The battles have a tough documentary realism to them, and McCoy and Waugh keep them blasting along with a conviction that compensates for any awkward lulls. J.L.

4

The Artist

Writer-director Michel Hazanavicius’ exuberant throwback—a black-andwhite movie, with no spoken dialogue, set in 1927—has the clarity and grace to delight homage-mad nostalgists without alienating everyone else. Framed around the romance between a has-been silent-movie star (Jean Dujardin) and an upstart extra (Bérénice Bejo) at the dawn of the talkies, the structure is slight but sound. More important is the will to entertain, as promulgated through the enduring cinematic values of radiant chemistry and technical precision. Hazanavicius has a light touch and manages sophistication without pretension.

This isn’t and needn’t be the best-ever movie about one decisive moment in Hollywood history—and who would even presume to top Singin’ in the Rain? Nor is this a call for reversion so much as a touchingly sincere comment on coping with a forward-lurching world. In that regard, and on account of never being boring, this is highly contemporary stuff. John Goodman and James Cromwell co-star. J.K.

4

Bullhead

Writer-director Michaël R. Roskam’s debut feature, an Oscar nominee, might be the best Beligan cattle-hormone-mafia movie you’ll ever see. That allows some leeway for general imperfections, yes, but who’d have even thought to make a character study like this, and to cast it so perfectly? Matthias Schoenaerts stars as a steroid-addled simpleton whose highly unfortunate childhood needs revisiting when his family beef business gets embroiled with cops, mobsters and an estranged old friend who once let him down (Jeroen Perceval, also very good). Occasional plot holes and unfortunate twitches of bumbling-criminal comic relief can’t keep Schoenaerts down; with Roskam’s help—playing mud-dark scenes of stifled anguish against occasional painterly low-horizon landscapes— he raises bovine dimness and brutality to tragic proportions. A basic analysis of humans, mostly male, behaving like animals, this is a groin-tug of a movie, but not only in the ways you might expect. J.K.

2

•

Act of Valor

Gone

A young woman in Portland, Oregon, (Amanda Seyfried, in a virtual onewoman show) comes home from work to find her sister (Emily Wickersham) mysteriously missing. She’s convinced that the man who abducted and nearly killed her a year ago is back; but she has a history of mental instability, and the police don’t believe she was ever abducted in the first place—and they certainly don’t believe her now. Allison Burnett’s script is far-fetched, devoid of surprises, and hardly a recruiting poster for the Portland Police Department (they are portrayed as insensitive, slow-witted and no match for a determined short-order waitress on her day off). Director Heitor Dhalia huffs and puffs to keep up the suspense, and the movie lurches from scene to scene. Seyfried does what she can, but she doesn’t get much help. J.L.

1

Project X

Three high-school losers (Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown) plan a huge parents-out-of-town party to put them on the social map, but things get immediately out of hand, and before the night is over, their neighborhood looks like Baghdad on a bad day. Written by Matt Drake and Michael Bacall and directed by Nima Nourizadeh—and couched once again in the

BEFORE

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2 5 0 8 L A N D PA R K D R I V E L A N D PA R K & B R O A D WAY F R E E PA R K I N G A D J A C E N T T O T H E AT R E

“BETTER THAN ANY FILM I’VE SEEN IN YEARS.” - David Edelstein, NEW YORK MAGAZINE

FRIENDS WITH KIDS STARTS FRI., 3/9

WINNER

THE

FRI-TUES: 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 10:00PM

5 ACADEMY AWARDS®

WED/THUR: 11:00AM, 12:15, 1:15, 2:30, 3:30, 4:45, 5:45, 7:05, 8:05, 9:20, 10:20PM FRI-TUES: 11:00AM, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:05, 10:20PM

Friends With Kids : I don’t mind if the kids look like you. Really.

WINNER ACADEMY AWARD

®

ARTIST A SEPARATION INCLUDING BEST PICTURE

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

WED-TUES: 11:05AM, 1:50, 4:35, 7:20, 10:05PM

F O R A D V A N C E T I C K E T S C A L L FA N D A N G O @ 1 - 8 0 0 - F A N D A N G O # 2 7 2 1

4

Friends With Kids

Two platonic best friends (Adam Scott and writer-director Jennifer Westfeldt) agree to have a kid together, no strings attached, so they can get “the parent thing” out of the way and continue their separate searches for Ms. and Mr. Right. We know where this is heading, but the beauty of Westfeldt’s script is that the characters are so three-dimensional that we want it to go there, and there are a lot of knowing laughs along the way. First-time director Westfeldt, a veteran actress and writer of 2001’s Kissing Jessica Stein, has something like the wit and insight of Woody Allen at his best, and her movie is a bracing antidote to shallow romcoms like Failure to Launch and Made of Honor. She has a great cast, too (Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm, Kristen Wiig, Chris O’Dowd), and gives them plenty of good lines. J.L. form of found-footage video, a style fast becoming tiresome—the movie seeks to be the ultimate party flick. It certainly pulls out all the stops, with all the sex, booty shots, bare boobs and destruction-without-consequences that a 15-year-old dweeb could possibly want, even though he wouldn’t be old enough to get into this R-rated show on his own. But underneath all the jacked-up mayhem, it’s a lame, laughless, pathetic little comedy. J.L.

2

Safe House

If only this exasperated second-hand superspy thriller weren’t so earnest, it might have the good self-spoofing grace to say what it really is: The Bourne I Wanna be. Picture Ryan Reynolds as a dutiful young CIA upstart, with Denzel Washington as a fugitive rogue agent. Now imagine them together, reluctantly, in a South Africa-set adventure of lethal mental and physical combat, plus mentoring! With plot threads about confused loyalties and corruptions handled roughly so as to become frayed, screenwriter David Guggenheim and director Daniel Espinosa mostly just pump in an atmosphere of volatility. But Reynolds huffs and puffs like a marathoner who won’t let anything keep him from his finish line, and Washington not working very hard still has a way of doing competent work. Efficiently dignified supporting players, stuck mostly in the obligatory control room full of phones and screens and agitated explanations, include Sam Shepard, Brendan Gleeson, and Vera Farmiga. J.K.

2

This Means War

Two CIA agents and close buddies (Chris Pine, Tom Hardy) find themselves dating the same woman (Reese Witherspoon) at the same time they’re more or less following the case of an international thief (Til Schweiger) who’s out to avenge their having killed his brother. Timothy Dowling, Simon Kinberg and Marcus Gautesen’s script is a fantasy for stunted adolescent boys masquerading as an action rom-com—too much action, not enough comedy, and no romance at all. Director McG (full name Joseph McGinty Nichol, whose body of work makes Michael Bay look like Woody Allen) manages to waste both Angela Bassett and Rosemary Harris in less-than-nothing roles. For that matter, he wastes Witherspoon too; she serves as a beard for Pine and Hardy’s characters; these two spies are obviously in love only with each other. J.L.

3

Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds

A conscientious, hard-working San Francisco executive (writer-director Tyler Perry), despite the fact that he has a fiancée (Gabrielle Union) and a hot-headed brother (Brian White) who’s making problems for the family business, becomes involved in the problems of a homeless young widow (Thandie Newton) trying to eke out a decent living for herself and her toddler daughter.

Auteur Perry is at his slickest, and the movie is smoothly entertaining. Eventually, though, Perry is undone by his own deft clichés, and he doesn’t know when to stop; things dither away

FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

in too many climaxes and a welter of tears from all concerned. Perry is a little too subdued (a reaction, perhaps, against the overthe-top Madea, happily absent here) while Newton’s performance careens back and forth between abrasiveness and bathos. J.L.

3

The Vow

When a young husband and wife (Channing Tatum, Rachel McAdams) are involved in an automobile accident, he is virtually uninjured, but she suffers severe brain trauma. She emerges from a medically induced coma with no memory of having married her husband—or even of having met him. “Inspired by a true story,” we are told, and the movie ends with a picture of the couple who supposedly inspired it. Well, maybe so, but in the hands of director Michael Sucsy and writers Jason Katims, Abby Kohn, Stuart Sender and Mark Silverstein, the movie has all the earmarks of a standard Nicholas Sparks tearjerker. As such, it’s slickly efficient, buoyed by excellent performances from (surprisingly) Tatum and (less surprising) McAdams. As McAdams’ parents, Sam Neill and Jessica Lange add a touch of mature class. J.L.

4

Wanderlust

4

The Woman in Black

Two New Yorkers (Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd) lose their apartment and are forced to move in with his brother in Atlanta (Ken Marino, co-writer with director David Wain); on their way south, they stumble across a hippie commune and decide they’d rather live here than with the obnoxious brother and his liquor-addled wife (Michaela Watkins). Be warned: The script is raunchy, profane and studded with producer Judd Apatow’s trademark frontal nudity, but if you leave your prudery at home, you probably won’t see a funnier movie all year. Aniston and Rudd’s comic rapport, sharpened on Friends and 1998’s The Object of My Affection, hasn’t lost its edge, especially when the good lines come as fast and thick as they do here. Great supporting cast, too: Alan Alda, Justin Theroux, Kathryn Hahn, Linda Lavin, etc. J.L.

A London solicitor (Daniel Radcliffe) travels to a gloomy seaside village to close out the estate of a wealthy recluse, becoming embroiled in sinister goings-on involving the apparition of a woman in black and the sudden deaths of local children.

Susan Hill’s 1983 novel, already adapted for British television and as a highly successful play in London’s West End (22 years and still running), is turned here into a good old-fashioned horror movie, one that depends more on an atmosphere of dread than on blood and cheap scares. Writer Jane Goldman takes major liberties with the letter of Hill’s book but stays faithful to its grim spirit (no pun intended), and James Watkins directs with a firm sense of foreboding. It’s a virtual oneman show for Radcliffe, with able support from Ciarán Hinds and Janet McTeer. J.L.

STORY

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

SN&R | A F Friday, TER | 03.08.12 | | 39 Starts March 9 At Theatres Everywhere

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This makes its music what drummer Jenkins refers to as a “playground with enough structure in it to play around in.” And they hope this childlike spirit is infectious.

“We want to put on a show that people have fun at. I feel if we’re accepting of fun, then maybe the audience will be the same way,” Jenkins says.

But Filson says their music has “some steak and potatoes in there, too.” For instance, the song “Through Water” was written about being down on their luck and learning how to cope with some challenges in life. And “Robots” is an angry, venting song.

But when the band plays either of these songs live, it never stops being a fun band.

“Even if a song is sad, we play it happy,” Urquhart says.

“There’s always angst,” Filson says. “But sometimes the best way to fight back is to change your perspective and bring out the positive.”

At the same time, Isaac Bear’s music is clearly difficult to play. The band explains that most of their hard work goes into the more subtler aspects of the music— little hits, accents and synchronized fills, the arrangements of the songs.

“I’m not the traditional verse-chorus-versechorus kind of guy,” Filson admits.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers used socks, Isaac Bear’s (left to right) Scotty Urquhart, Keith Filson and Steve Jenkins use camellias.

Isaac Bear says its distinct mixture of punk and funk—with a dash of psychedelic rock—is the natural outcome of getting together, jamming and just letting music be their happy spot.

For audiences, however, it can be tough: Are these guys serious about music, or what?

On one hand, bassist Scotty Urquhart, singer-guitarist Keith Filson and drummer Steve Jenkins possess a technical wizardry over their instruments. It’s impressive. But at the same time, their live shows are full of horsing around—sweaty energy, wacky facial expressions, joking around between songs.

And the music video for their song “Flat Tire” looks like a hilarious faux public-access show, complete with plenty of potty humor.

“Some people think we’re just a little too over the top,” Urquhart told SN&R recently, “like the silliness is fake or something. But we’re trying to be as honest as possible.”

Creating an environment for fun can be a lot of hard work. When these confessed “musical adrenaline junkies” aren’t bouncing around onstage, they’re spending a lot of time practicing and working out material.

Isaac Bear’s songs come together through group jams—as opposed to one member writing something and asking the rest of the band to accompany—and countless hours are put into tweaking and refining music.

Still, the band says the arrangements are kept loose enough so that they can always be altered or even improvised upon during shows.

“Some people think we’re just a little too over the top, like the silliness is fake or something. But we’re trying to be as honest as possible.”

Scotty Urquhart Isaac Bear bassist The guys try to have their songs tell a story and make sure that things are logical, that they feel right. That means jamming on sections a whole bunch of times at practice, until the next section presents itself—as opposed to just writing a bunch of cool riffs and piecing them together.

As Filson puts it, “That would become too riff-rocky, too structured and bland.”

Conveniently, spending hours working out jams is also their way to have fun. Ω

TOP

REASONS

10 TO BE

EDITOR -IN-IN-

CHIEF CHIEF

OF THE SN&R

AS WRITTEN BY THE SACRAMENTO NEWS & REVIEW EDITORIAL STAFF

10

Audit numbers say we have nearly half a million print and online readers each month. And your blog has how many?

9

8

Fighting chance to alter the political trajectory of the capital city of the eighth largest economy on the planet.

7

Evaluate staff’s work based on quality of writing and reporting.

Not by page views.

5

Can’t see eye-to-eye with a writer? Fine—settle it with a friendly match of pingpong (yes, editorial has its own table).

6

Occasion to work in “green and sustainable” office building that used to be a giant grocery store. (Editorial resides in the former produce section.)

4

Eat lunch with the publisher anytime; no corporate operations here.

2

Work with at least three amazing art directors and designers. Three!

3

Former NBA star and city Mayor Kevin Johnson—a loyal reader?—is rumored to use SN&R’s pages for trash-can basketball.

Chance to boast to friends that every day on your job is different than the one before it.

1 !

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03.08.12 | SN&R | 41

EIGHT GIGS

09FRI 09FRI 09FRI 11SUN

Seth Faergolzia’s group, Dufus, is a nutty musical experience unlike any other.

Faergolzia is known to tour with a trio, a 17-piece ensemble, and as a solo artist.

Each of Dufus’ songs barely resembles the next. There are folk-rockers, robotic-synth death marches, prog-rock songs, ’60s antipop tunes and space-surf jams. Solo, the same rules apply, except it’s a much more intimate experience, and it’s all basically folk music—really weird folk FOLK music. Regardless of style, where Faergolzia’s songs share common ground is his bizarre execution. He continually falls apart and puts himself back together again, one song at a time. 1414 16th Street, www.facebook.com/faergolzia.

When singer-guitarist Ethan Miller ended noise-psych outfit Comets on Fire in 2006, he chose a different direction for Howlin’ Rain: ’70s rock and blues-funk predomiROCK nately, with traces of easy-going, West Coast folk-rock. Miller’s howling vocals have been tamed and sonic excess curbed— to an extent—under producer Rick Rubin’s watchful eye. Even the nine-minute “Strange Thunder,” off its latest, The Russian Wilds, is more ballad-turned-jam than guitar freak fest. Its third album Wilds features an almost entirely new band (one holdover), polished production, even greasier soul boogie, and the grooviest, most accessible music Miller’s ever made. 2708 J Street, www.howlinrain.com.

—Aaron Carnes

Three Stages, 2 p.m., $12-$25

Blue Lamp, 9 p.m., $8-$10

Harlow’s, 9 p.m., $10

Luna’s Café & Juice Bar, 8 p.m., $6

Playing for Change Band

Vetiver

Howlin’ Rain

Seth Faergolzia

My biggest musical regret: missing Devendra Banhart, Joanna Newsom and Vetiver play Old Ironsides in 2004. For had I let curiosity draw me into the intimate venue, I would have been overtaken with awe at the lineup, including Vetiver’s dreamy folk rock that sounds like a drive down the California coast, alongside the gleaming ocean with the rays of sunlight streaming FOLK ROCK down to bless you between the twiggy fingers of trees you traverse under. Instead, I went to a lame bar with some co-workers. Despite this error, Vetiver will charm the Blue Lamp Thursday, and Haven Underground (226 Broad Street) in Nevada City on Saturday. Don’t blow it. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, http://vetiverse.com.

—Shoka

—Chris Parker

ACE OF SPADES FRIDAY, MARCH 9

CHELSEA GRIN ATTILA - FOR THE FALLEN DREAMS CHUNK! NO CAPTAIN CHUNK – VANNA THE CRIMSON ARMADA - ALEGION

SATURDAY, MARCH 10

TRULY TERRIFYING RAISED THRESHOLD - SOME SEEK FORGIVENESS

EE FR OW SH

Playing for Change began when American producer Mark Johnson set out to create a multimedia project that could “inspire, connect, and bring peace.” He started by recording Los Angeles street musician Roger Ridley performing “Stand By Me.” WORLD He then traveled the world, recording and adding numerous other musicians into the mix. It resulted in a viral YouTube video with 40 million views. Johnson went on to team with Bono, Manu Chao and other famous artists, releasing three CD/DVD combos and creating the Playing for Change Foundation, which builds music schools in developing countries. This live-band performance features a collection of worldwide musicians. 10 College Parkway in Folsom, www.playingforchange.com.

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95814 www.aceofspadessac.com

ALL AGES WELCOME!

SATURDAY, MARCH 17 2ND ANNUAL ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY WITH

THE CHEESEBALLS

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14

STREET DOGS DEVIL’S BRIGADE - OLD MAN MARKLEY MURDER THE STOUT

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MONDAY, MARCH 19

BOYCE AVENUE

SECONDHAND SERENADE - AFTER PARTY

COMING

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3/23 Streetlight Fire 3/24 In Theory 3/25 For Today 3/27 Orgy 3/29 Saw Doctors 3/31 Alacer 4/1

Eligh + Amp Live

4/6

Ozomotli

4/8

Paper Diamond

4/9

Awolnation

4/14 Kill The Precedent 4/18 Childish Gambino 4/19 Buzzcocks 4/20 Roach Gigz

THURSDAY, MARCH 15

MARTYPARTY BOGGAN

TUESDAY, MARCH 20

REHAB

MOONSHINE BANDITS - BRODI NICHOLAS

4/25 Tech N9NE 4/28 All Shall Parish 5/8

Delta Spirit

5/11 Andre Nickatina 5/24 The Real McKenzies

FRIDAY, MARCH 16

RESTRAYNED

SOME FEAR NONE - TERRA FERNO FINDING APOLLO-BLACKSHEEP - CLOCKWORK HERO

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21

WHITECHAPEL MISS MAY I - AFTER THE BURIAL THE PLOT IN YOU - STRUCTURES

Tickets available at all Dimple Records Locations, The Beat Records, and Armadillo Records, or purchase by phone @ 916.443.9202

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5/30 (HED) Pe & Mushroomhead 6/17 My Darkest Days 6/28 Who’s Bad (Michael Jackson Tribute) 9/5

Powerman 5000

11SUN

12MON 13TUES 14WED

Brasil Guitar Duo

Bell Boys

The resurgence of world music, or more particularly, Brazilian music, has been astounding in the United States. While some embrace the culture by drinking the occasional caipirinha, audiophiles are digging deep into Brazil’s storied musical history.

Brasil Guitar Duo, consisting of Joao Luiz and Douglas Lora, has performed all over the United States and accolades keep pouring in. If you’re a fan of WORLD heavy-handed fret work, you are hereby urged to make the trek to Georgetown this Sunday. You don’t have to speak Portuguese or know what pao de queijo is. Simply open your ears and let the sound in. 6240 Main Street in Georgetown, www.brasilguitarduo.net, (530) 333-2509.

Steve Aoki

Grimey

The Press Club, 8:30 p.m., $5

Odd Fellows Hall, 3 p.m., call for cover

Brothers Elijah, Jacob and Erik Bell—the Bell Boys—have kept their music evolving over the past three years. Last November saw the release of the Jean Hagen INDIE ROCK EP, boasting indie-rock influences finished with a Midwestern charm acknowledging where the Boys originated.

Currently based out of Sacramento, the brothers Bell have performed everywhere with a stage and audience—such as Old Ironsides and last summer’s Hot Lunch Concert Series at Fremont Park. With a wide array of musical influences that include Crosby, Stills and Nash, Atmosphere, and Incubus, everybody can find common ground when listening to the Boys. 2030 P Street, www.bellboysmusic.net.

Introducing Steve Aoki is a moot point in the electronic-music world. For those unfamiliar, when it comes to Aoki, it’s either love or hate. Rarely is critical response so black and white (metaphorically speaking). His father was the ELECTRONIC founder of the restaurant chain Benihana, and, in turn, Steve founded the Dim Mak recording label in 1996. Some see his label as revolutionary, allowing electronic artists to reach levels that were previously unimaginable; others choose to see him as a “privileged hipster,” and point out his only real accomplishment was being born into wealth. My opinion?

Give the guy a break. 1 Shields Avenue, 104 Freeborn Hall in Davis; www.steveaoki.com.

Big bass becomes bigger bass at this week’s Grimey: the return of Lazer Sword (pictured; www.lazersword.net), a visit from San Francisco’s DnaeBeats (www.soundcloud.com/dnaebeats), and Sanctuary Recording Studios’ owner Pete Cole, a.k.a. Reason (www.djreason.com).

Plus your typical Grimey crew: DJ Whores, Crescendo, Jay Two Thow Zen DANCE and all. The guys from Lazer Sword—Anteus Roy and Bryan Rutledge— have blown up since the group’s 2006 debut, so consider this tour stop a major for Midtown. This means no sleeping on Tuesday night: Suit up, hit up the ATM and get ready for some low lows. 1517 21st Street, www.facebook.com/grimeybass.

—Steph Rodriguez

—Eddie Jorgensen

Freeborn Hall, 7 p.m., $25

TownHouse Lounge, 9 p.m., $5-10

—John Phillips

—Nick Miller

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Mar 20 Cheryl Wheeler

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Mar 22 Mykal Rose Mar 23 the nibblers and skerik’s bandalabra Mar 24 Joel the band

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Mar 25 Western lights

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Coming Soon

Wed MARCh 14

Mar 31 Melissa Corona Mar 31 Hip service

fri MarCH 16 6:30PM

from still time

fri MarCH 9 9:30PM

howlin’ rain with the soft white sixties

robert schwartzman (of rooney) with the relationship (feat brian bell of weezer) plus jamestown revival

hawaiian

over the rhine

Apr 19 Group love Apr 25 Midnite apr 27&28 tainted love Apr 29 anthony Coleman’s big band May 2 Diego’s umbrella and March fourth Marching band May 3&4 sacramento electronic Music festival May 26 b-side Players

sun MarCH 18 8:30PM $25

midnight playerS

Mazzy Star

Apr 8

Apr 16 Givers

vokab kompany with guests holdup

sat MarCH 10 10PM $12

reminisce

Apr 7

Apr 15 todd snider

sat MarCH 17 10PM $10 aDv

legends tour

Jeanette Harris

Apr 6

Apr 14 thomas Dolby

girlyman

sat MarCH 10 6PM $25

fireHose

Apr 6

Apr 12 brokedown in bakersfield

sat MarCH 17 7PM $15

and the shrine

Apr 5

umphrey’s mcgee

May 31 Young Dubliners June 1 Cash’d out June 19 Asleep at the Wheel aug 8 ottmar liebert

Dress CoDe enforCeD (Jeans are oK) • Call to reserve Dinner & Club tables

2708 J Street • Sacramento • 916.441.4693 • www.harlows.com BEFORE

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STORY

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NIGHTBEAT List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

THURSDAY 3/8

FRIDAY 3/9

BADLANDS

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

Tipsy Thursdays, Top 40 deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

BLUE LAMP

GREENSKY BLUEGRASS, 9pm, $12-$15

THE BOARDWALK

CHERRY RED, CAL FIG, O.C. ENT, SLR

BOWS AND ARROWS 1815 19 St., (916) 822-5668

TITO RAMSEY, ALICIA MURPHY, DEAD WESTERN; 8pm, $5

Red Bucket Dance Theater performs exerpts of All Of Summer In A Day, 7pm

Nerd Night, board and card games, 8pm W, no cover

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

HAPA, 7:30pm, $25-$30

GREENSKY BLUEGRASS, 8pm, $18-$20

WILLIAM FITZSIMMONS, DENISON WITMER; 7:30pm Tu, $18-$20

THE COZMIC CAFÉ

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 GANG, CALI GROWN, P.A.P.E.; 8:30pm

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 271-7000 594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

DISTRICT 30

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/12-3/14

Saturday Boom, 9pm, call for cover

Sin Sunday, 8pm, call for cover

Mad Mondays, M; Latin video flair and Wii bowling, 7pm Tu

TWO SHEDS, VETIVER; 8pm, $8-$10

SLEEP ROCKERS, TEL CAIRO, BOSS MAGIC, STEPHANIE BARBER; 9pm, $5

Songwriter Showcase and barbecue, 3pm, call for cover

THE OLD SCREEN DOOR, EGG, DOWNSHIFT, FRIDAY, NATURE; 6:30pm

CHAOS IN MIND, LEGION’S REQUIEM, CRUSH THE ADVERSARY; 7pm

SOL BRIDGE, THE RUSTY BUCKETS; 7pm, $7

THE BLUE ONION SEXTET, ATLAS AND ARROWS, COLE BATES; 7pm, $7

DJs Benji Lugo, Big B, Maniakal, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Foley, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Elements, 9pm W, call for cover

Deejay dancing and karaoke, 9pm, $3

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

FOX & GOOSE

SHAUN HOPPER, MARTIN PURTILL; 811pm, no cover

G. GREEN, FINE STEPS, LENZ; 9pm-midnight, $5

COLD ESKIMO, DELTA CITY RAMBLERS, MELISSA LINGO; 9pm-midnight, $5

AUTOMATIC RIVAL, SOME FEAR NONE; 10pm-1:15am, no cover

BE BOLD BRAVE ROBOT, SETH FAERGOLZIA, JOHN LUDINGTON; 10pm DJ Whores, 10pm, no cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

G STREET WUNDERBAR 228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

SUNDAY 3/11

FACES

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Hey local bands!

SATURDAY 3/10

Queer Idol, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5; DJ Alazzawi, 9pm W, $3

Dragalicious, 9pm, $5

Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; STEVE MCLANE, 8pm W, no cover

THE GOLDEN BEAR

DJ Shaun Slaughter, 10pm, call for cover

DJ Crook One, 10pm, call for cover

HARLOW’S

IVAN NEVILLE’S DUMPSTAPHUNK, MONOPHONICS; 8pm, call for cover

DAN CURCIO, 7pm; HOWLIN’ RAIN, SOFT GEORGE KAHUMOKU JR., 6pm, $25; WHITE SIXTIES, SHRINE; 9:30pm MIDNIGHT PLAYERS, 10pm, $12

JAVALOUNGE

KEVIN SECONDS, KEPI GHOULIE, MR. VELOCITY; 8pm, $5

DAVID HOUSTON, SAL VALENTINO, JACKSON GRIFFITH; 8pm, $6

RED RIVER MASSACRE, LIGHT BRIGADE, STANDING & STARING, MAGIC BULLETS, 4pm, $5; SARA RADLE, PETS; 8pm, $6 CROW CANYON; 8pm, $5

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

BE BRAVE BOLD ROBOT, JOHN LUDINGTON, SETH FAERGOLZIA; 8pm, $6

J.D. VALERIO, ARIEL JEAN, SUTTER JUNKIES; 9pm, $6

MARILYN’S ON K

“Rock On” Live Band Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

RELIC 45, THE LAST AMBASSADORS; 9:30pm, $8

THE INVERSIONS, WANNABE BARNABY; 9:30pm, $7

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

JUSTIN DAVIS, KEN KOENIG, DOUG CASH; 8:30pm, $3

WEST NILE RAMBLERS, THE SOUTERRAIN, CHI MCCLEAN; 8:30pm, $5

JIM RAINES, JIM FUNK; 8:30pm, $5

Jazz session, M; PROWLERS 8:30pm Tu, $5; DARYL SHAWN, 8:30pm W, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

DEKE DICKERSON, 9pm, $10

ARMY OF TREES, BLAH BOUTIQUE, THE SOFT BOMBS; 9pm-1:30am, $5

Fascination, ‘80s new-wave dance club, 9:30pm, $5

STRAPPED FOR CASH, NUANCE; M; Karaoke, 9pm Tu; Open-mic 8:30pm W

ON THE Y

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

KNIFETHRUHEAD, TIMES OF DESPERATION, SARCALOGOS; 8pm, $6

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

EVIE LADIN BAND, MISNER & SMITH; 8pm, $15

BLAME SALLY, 8:30pm, $20

THE BOBS, 8pm, $20

2326 K St., (916) 441-2252 2708 J St., (916) 441-4693 2416 16th St., (916) 441-3945 1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931 908 K St., (916) 446-4361

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504 670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731 13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825

Industry Night, 9pm, call for cover RADIO, 9pm W, $15-$20

Nebraska Mondays, M; Black Power Mixtape, 6:30pm Tu; Comedy night, W

Open-mic comedy, 9:30pm, no cover

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

CELEBRATING OUR 20TH ANNIVERSARY ALL YEAR LONG!

ThUrSdayS

rocK on live aoKe band Kar // KaraoKe // rocK-n-roll 9:30pm // no cover

frI 3/9

relic .45

t ambaSSadorS laS 9:30pm SaT 3/10

the inverSionS

nabe barnaby wan rocK // alternative // indie // 9:30pm // $7 TUES 3/13

c open mic acouSti ShowcaSe // 6pm talent

CHERRY RED

CAL FIG - O.C. ENT - SLR GANG - CALI GROWN P.A.P.E. - GEEK 1000 - LOGIC - DUMBKNOKZ - 2HK

FRI MAR 9

THE OLD SCREEN DOOR

EGG - DOWNSHIFT - FRIDAY - NATURE - CASCADE ISLAND OF BLACK & WHITE - PENDULA

SAT MAR 10

CRUSH THE ADVERSARY

VICTORY OF DEATH - LEGION’S REQUIEM YOUNG VINTAGE - CHAOS IN MINE - TRIAL BY COMBAT OF STRENGTH AND SACRIFICE . . .

THU MAR 15

KIDD UPSTAIRS

ECO GREEN - CALI COLAB - KENTASIK - IRIS SUNNY B - NEW AIRA - BOSS BIZ - BaBNiT SERPENT & SERAPH - C2

FRI MAR 16

PHILBAN GREEN

SUNBURN - DON’T TELL NICK - FORCE MULTIPLIED VEGAS DIVIDED - HORMONAL DISORDER

SAT MAR 17

wEd 3/14

Secure SoundS the SolicitorS

alternative // progreSSive // 9pm // $5

ticKetS now on Sale For these upcoming shows at www.marilynsonk.com $3 TallbOy Pbr

THU MAR 8

UPCOMING EVENTS:

3/16 monkeys in space 3/17 plum crazy 3/21 gorgeous george

908 K Street // 916.446.4361

++Free parking aFter 6pm with validation @ 10th & l garage+ 44 | SN&R | 03.08.12

STEPCHILD

FALLRISE - PRYLOSIS - AMERICAZ MOZT HAUNTED

FRI MAR 23

CONDUCTING FROM THE GRAVE

FALLUJAH - SOME RAS - PAINT OVER PICTURES AWAITING THE APOCALYPSE - BEYOND ALL ENDS NIGHTMARE IN THE TWILIGHT

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SAM BAMM, BRYAN YANG SPECIAL EVENT, NO PASSES

FRIDAY 3/23 - SUNDAY 3/25 FROM CHELSEA LATELY!

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THURSDAY 3/29 - SUNDAY 4/1

FROM LATINO COMEDY JAM AND VOTED “FUNNIEST LATINA COMEDIAN!”

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REGGIE STEELE, BIG AL GONZALES SPECIAL EVENT, NO PASSES

THURSDAY 4/5 - SATURDAY 4/7 WINNER OF LAST COMIC STANDING!

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SUN MAR 25

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DAMAGE OVER TIME - CHERNOBOG - LEGION’S REQUIEM

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THURSDAY 3/8

FRIDAY 3/9

SATURDAY 3/10

SUNDAY 3/11

DJ Peeti V, DJ Spider, 9pm-1am, $15

Asylum Downtown: Gothic, industrial, EBM dancing, 9pm, call for cover

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 3/12-3/14

THE PARK ULTRA LOUNGE

POP FICTION, 8pm, call for cover

PISTOL PETE’S

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

T-DUB & THE INTERNATIONALS, 9pm, $5 DJ Rick Lopez, 9pm, $5

POWERHOUSE PUB

CHAD BUSHNELL, 9:30pm, call for cover

THE NIBBLERS, MUMBO GUMBO; 10pm, call for cover

POINTDEXTER music video shoot, 3:3010pm; MOTHER HIPS, 10pm, $15

ELVIN BISHOP, 3pm, $20

DJ Alazzawi, DJ Rigatony; 10pm Tu, $3

THE PRESS CLUB

THE INFAMOUS SWANKS, HOPELESS JACK, THE NICKEL SLOTS; 8:30pm, $5

Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5

Top 40 Night w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9pm, $5

Sunday Night Soul Party, 9pm, $5

ANCIENT ASTRONAUT, THE BELL BOYS; 8:30pm M, $5

THE SHINE CAFÉ

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

SAMBANDHA, THE CELTIC FACTOR; 8pm, $5

BEAUCOUP CHAPEAUX, HOT TAR ROOFERS; 8pm, $6

SOCIAL NIGHTCLUB

DJ Ikon, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Beatbreaker, 9pm, call for cover

SOL COLLECTIVE

DJ El Indio, 7pm, no cover

1116 15th St., (916) 442-7222

140 Harrison Ave., Auburn; (530) 885-5093 614 Sutter St., Folsom; (916) 355-8586 2030 P St., (916) 444-7914

1000 K St., (916) 443-9001

2574 21st St., (916) 832-0916

STONEY INN/ROCKIN RODEO 1320 Del Paso Blvd., (916) 927-6023

THE CHRIS GARDNER BAND, 10pm, $5

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover, $5 after 8pm

SWABBIES

Karaoke, 9pm W, no cover

Sleep Rockers with Tel Cairo, Boss Magic, Stephanie Barber, Mahtie Bush and Mic Jordan 9pm Saturday, $5.

Blue Lamp Hip-hop

Open jazz jam, Tu; Poetry With Legs with Primal Urge, 7pm W

Country dancing, 7:30pm, no cover, $5 after 8pm

The Sol Mercado and Kid’s Day, 1pm, no cover

Microphone Mondays, 6pm M, $1-$2

Country dance party, 8pm, no cover

Comedy open-mic, 8pm M; Barbecue and blues jam, karaoke, 9pm Tu

Blues jam, 5pm, no cover

LEW FRATIS TRIO, 9pm Tu, $4; GOLDEN CADILLACS, 9pm W, $5

SKID ROSES, 7-11pm, $5

5871 Garden Hwy, (916) 920-8088

TORCH CLUB

X TRIO, 5pm, no cover; HARLEY WHITE JR., AARON KING; 9pm, $5

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30-7:30pm, no cover; TERRY HANCK, 9pm, $10

JOHNNY KNOX, 5pm, no cover; JOHN LEE HOOKER JR., 9pm, $12

TOWNHOUSE LOUNGE

Live music and deejay dancing, 9pm, no cover

DJ Roger and special guests, 9pm, $5, no cover before 10pm

Pop Freq w/ DJ XGVNR, 9pm, $5

904 15th St., (916) 443-2797 1517 21st St., (916) 613-7194

THE WRANGLER

Open-mic, 9pm M, no cover

TOM DRINNON AND DEUCES WILD, 9pm, WHISKEY DAWN, 9pm, call for cover call for cover

8945 Grant Line Rd., Elk Grove; (916) 714-9911

All ages, all the time ACE OF SPADES

CHELSEA GRIN, ATILLA, FOR THE FALLEN DREAMS; 5:30pm, $13

1417 R St., (916) 448-3300

CLUB RETRO

1529 Eureka Rd., Roseville; (916) 988-6606

SELF PROCLAIMED, JORDAN’S BEARD, VIRTUE VICES, D.U.B.; 6pm, $8-$10 Open-mic, 7pm, no cover

LUIGI’S SLICE AND FUN GARDEN

SISTER CRAYON, BLACKBIRD BLACKBIRD, LEE BANNON; 8pm, call for cover

THE REFUGE

COWBOYS & INDIANS, ISAAC BEAR; 7pm, $7

ZUHG LIFE STORE

BRIEFCASES, JAMES CAVERN, AUTUMN SKY; 4pm, no cover

1050 20th St., (916) 552-0317 1723 L St., (916) 764-5598

545 Downtown Plaza, Ste. 2090, (916) 822-5185

STREET DOGS, DEVIL’S BRIGADE, OLD MAN MARKLEY; 6:30pm W, $17

UNDER CITIES, TO THE WIND, I WISH WE WERE ROBOTS, CALISTA SKY; 7:30pm

JERICHO COFFEE

8711 Sierra College Blvd., Roseville; (916) 771-5726

TRULY TERRIFYING, RAISED THRESHO LD, SOME SEEK FORGIVENESS; 6:30pm

Sister Crayon with Blackbird Blackbird and Lee Bannon 8pm Friday, call for cover.

Luigi’s Fun Garden Electronic and trip-hop

DOMINIC ZEIER, 7pm, no cover

CLARK REESE, KEN KOENIG, KELLY ROGERS; 1pm, no cover

SAM PHELPS, 2pm, no cover

Open-mic, 6-8pm Tu, no cover

Cable Channels 17 & 18

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BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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BEST

OF

SACRAMENTO

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

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AFTER

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03.08.12

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SN&R

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45

My lunch with the

U.S. attorney Details from last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Benjamin Wagner chat with press and pot advocates

by DaviD Downs

5 March 8, 2012

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My lunch with the U.S. attorney

conducted by

licensed CA Physician

Details from last week’s Benjamin Wagner chat with press and pot advocates

by David Downs

Medical-cannabis patients and providers should expect ongoing persecution in California. However, media backlash due to the nearly half-year-old federal crackdown is affecting at least one prominent drug warrior: United States Attorney for the Eastern District of California Benjamin Wagner.

Wagner broke the Department of Justice’s near silence with regard to the crackdown during a candid, hour-long talk and question-and-answer session last Tuesday at a Sacramento Press Club luncheon. The $30-a-plate affair took place on the 15th floor of 1201 K Street, and inside, Wagner admitted that the cannabis cleanup was the idea of the four U.S. Attorneys in California, not Washington, D.C. The four were upset because of what Wagner called “flagrant” marijuana sales in the state. So they declared war on medical marijuana last October, sending out hundreds of forfeiture-warning letters to dispensaries across California. His office is in the process of seizing at least one dispensary in Sacramento, while officials have closed more or less every dispensary in Sacramento County.

“What I know about marijuana as medicine you can probably put in a thimble.”

U.S. Attorney Benjamin Wagner He reiterated that they’re not going after patients and caregivers, rather interstate transporters, huge pot farmers and illicit dispensaries grossing tens of thousands of dollars per day in cash.

But the media critique of the war is wearing on Wagner, it seems. He said he counts on good press to create a “deterrent effect” in regard to cases of mortgage fraud, child exploitation, human trafficking and major gang violence. But he’s not getting any of that.

“I think that the members of the press would be forgiven for thinking that marijuana enforcement is all that we do,” he said. “It is far from the most important thing that we do. I have many other higher priorities that have a much bigger impact on public safety. I did not seek the position of U.S. attorney in order to launch a campaign against medical marijuana.”

Wagner was appointed by President Barack Obama in 2009 and has been with the DOJ since 1992, primarily in the Eastern District.

When he and the other three U.S. attorneys took office at the end of 2009, “We found that we were in the middle of an explosion of marijuana cultivation and sales,” he said.

Federal policy didn’t change, rather “what we saw … was an unregulated free-for-all in California in which huge amounts of money was being made selling marijuana … to virtually anybody who wanted to get stoned.”

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Wagner said that’s not what California voters approved. Stores marking up pot 200 percent is “not about sick people. That’s about money.”

His reaction has been “quite measured,” he said. Most dispensaries just got warning letters.

“In a few instances, after ample warnings, we’ve brought civil-enforcement actions while reserving criminal prosecution for the most flagrant violators of not only federal law but state law,” he said.

He referred to cases such as one where seven Roseville and Fresno suspects were indicted in February for growing pot with doctor’s recommendations and running a dispensary as a front to traffic it to seven states in the Midwest and South.

Wagner also warned that a season of raids in the Central Valley is coming in 2012, and that mega pot farmers are on notice that if they plant again this year, their land could be seized.

He tried to make the case that pot is just a fraction of what his office does, referring to 61 indictments on mortgage fraud last fiscal year.

During audience questions, activists asked why the federal government says marijuana has “no medical use,” yet the United States has patented its ingredient, cannabidiol, for treating strokes.

“What I know about marijuana as medicine you can probably put in a thimble,” he said.

But health policy is not his job, he said. “My advice to you is to write your congressman.”

Sacramento lawyer Alan Donato asked for guidelines for local dispensaries to avoid federal attention.

“I’m not in a position to be of much comfort,” Wagner said. “You don’t ask the CHP, ‘How many miles over the speed limit can I go before you pull me over?’”

Stephen Downing, a retired Los Angeles Police Department deputy chief and member of Law Enforcement Against Prohibition, asked if the failed drug war would ever make Wagner say “Enough is enough” to his boss, Attorney General Eric Holder.

“That’s hard to say,” Wagner said. “I totally understand the debate over legalization as opposed to criminalizing narcotics.

“It really depends on what the cost-benefits are. Marijuana is obviously not nearly as destructive as [methamphetamine]. The risks in legalizing marijuana may be significantly less that meth.”

But prescription drugs “are the biggest, worst drug problem in terms of trends ... [and] that’s a legal drug.”

SN&R news intern Matthew W. Urner got the biggest attention of the lunch, asking Wagner if he ever tried the second-mostcommonly used mind-altering substance in America, and if so, what he thought.

“Uh,” said Wagner, “I’ll say that I went to college.”

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by ROB BREZSNY

FOR THE WEEK OF MARCH 8, 2012

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Controlled

hysteria is what is required,” said playwright Arthur Miller in speaking about his creative process. “To exist constantly in a state of controlled hysteria. It’s agony. But everyone has agony. The difference is that I try to take my agony home and teach it to sing.” I hope this little outburst inspires you, Aries. It’s an excellent time for you to harness your hysteria and instruct your agony in the fine art of singing. To boost your chances of success in pulling off this dicey feat, use every means at your disposal to have fun and stay amused.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Cherokee Heritage website wants people to know that not all Native American tribes have the same traditions. In the Cherokee belief system, it’s Grandmother Sun and Grandfather Moon, which is the opposite of most tribes. There are no Cherokee shamans, only medicine men and women and adawehis, or religious leaders. They don’t have “pipe carriers,” don’t do the Sun Dance, and don’t walk the “Good Red Road.” In fact, they walk the White Path, have a purification ceremony called “Going to Water,” and perform the Green Corn ceremony as a ritual renewal of life. I suggest you do a similar clarification for the group you’re part of and the traditions you hold dear, Taurus. Ponder your tribe’s unique truths and ways. Identify them and declare them.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the coming

weeks, the activity going on inside your mind and heart will be especially intense and influential—even if you don’t explicitly express it. When you speak your thoughts and feelings out loud, they will have unusual power to change people’s minds and rearrange their moods. When you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, they will still leak all over everything, bending and shaping the energy field around you. That’s why I urge you to take extra care as you manage what’s going on within you. Make sure the effect you’re having is the effect you want to have.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Artist

Richard Kehl tells the story of a teenage girl who got the chance to ask a question of the eminent psychologist Carl Jung. “Professor, you are so clever. Could you please tell me the shortest path to my life’s goal?” Without a moment’s hesitation Jung replied, “The detour!” I invite you to consider the possibility that Jung’s answer might be meaningful to you right now, Cancerian. Have you been churning out overcomplicated thoughts about your mission? Are you at risk of getting a bit too grandiose in your plans? Maybe you should at least dream about taking a shortcut that looks like a detour or a detour that looks like a shortcut.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): An old Chinese

proverb says: “My barn having burned to the ground, I can see the moon.” The speaker of those words was making an effort to redefine a total loss as a partial gain. The building may have been gone, but as a result he or she had a better view of a natural wonder that was previously difficult to observe. I don’t foresee any of your barns going down in flames, Leo, so I don’t expect you’ll have to make a similar redefinition under duress. However, you have certainly experienced events like that in the past. And now would be an excellent time to revise your thinking about their meaning.

Are you brave enough and ingenious enough to reinterpret your history? It’s find-theredemption week.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “You can dis-

cover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”

Numerous websites on the Internet allege that Greek philosopher Plato made this statement, which I regard as highly unlikely.

But in any case, the thought itself has some merit. And in accordance with your current astrological omens, I will make it your motto for the week. This is an excellent time to learn more about and become closer to the people you care for, and nothing would help you accomplish that better than getting together for intensive interludes of fooling around and messing around and horsing around.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “When we are

no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves,” said Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. His advice

BEFORE

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might be just what you need to hear right now, Libra. Have you struggled, mostly fruitlessly, to change a stagnant situation that has resisted your best efforts? Is there a locked door you’ve been banging on, to no avail? If so, I invite you to redirect your attention. Reclaim the energy you have been expending on closed-down people and moldering systems. Instead, work on the unfinished beauty of what lies closest at hand: yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In this pas-

sage from Still Life With Woodpecker, Tom Robbins provides a hot tip you should keep in mind. “There are essential and inessential insanities. Inessential insanities are a brittle amalgamation of ambition, aggression, and pre-adolescent anxiety—garbage that should have been dumped long ago.

Essential insanities are those impulses one instinctively senses are virtuous and correct, even though peers may regard them as coo-coo.” I’ll add this, Scorpio: Be crazily wise and wisely crazy in the coming weeks.

It will be healthy for you. Honor the wild ideas that bring you joy and the odd desires that remind you of your core truths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I

don’t think you will need literal medicine this week. Your physical vigor should be good. But I’m hoping you will seek out some spirit medicine—healing agents that fortify the secret and subtle parts of your psyche.

Where do you find spirit medicine? Well, the search itself will provide the initial dose.

Here are some further ideas: Expose yourself to stirring art and music and films; have conversations with empathic friends and the spirits of dead loved ones; spend time in the presence of a natural wonder; fantasize about a thrilling adventure you will have one day; and imagine who you want to be three years from now.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Each

of us is the star of our own movie. There are a few other lead and supporting actors who round out the cast, but everyone else in the world is an extra. Now and then, though, people whom we regard as minor characters suddenly rise to prominence and play a pivotal role in our unfolding drama. I expect this phenomenon is now occurring or will soon occur for you, Capricorn. So please be willing to depart from the script. Open yourself to the possibility of improvisation. People who have been playing bit parts may have more to contribute than you imagine.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The

“cocktail party effect” refers to your ability to hear your name being spoken while in the midst of a social gathering’s cacophony.

This is an example of an important practice, which is how to discern truly meaningful signals embedded in the noise of all the irrelevant information that surrounds you.

You should be especially skilled at doing this in the coming weeks, Aquarius—and it will be crucial that you make abundant use of your skill. As you navigate your way through the clutter of symbols and the overload of data, be alert for the few key messages that are highly useful.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Shunryu

Suzuki was a Zen master whose books helped popularize Zen Buddhism in America.

A student once asked him, “How much ego do you need?” His austere reply was “Just enough so that you don’t step in front of a bus.” While I sympathize with the value of humility, I wouldn’t go quite that far. I think that a slightly heftier ego, if offered up as a work of art, can be a gift to the world. What do you think, Pisces? How much ego is good? To what degree can you create your ego so that it’s a beautiful and dynamic source of power for you and an inspiration for other people rather than a greedy, needy parasite that distorts the truth? This is an excellent time to ruminate on such matters.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required.

Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

15 MINUTES

by ANTHONY

NATHAN PHOTO BY KYLE DUVAL

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Wizard status Skateboarder Tristen Moss’ adolescence was notably different from that of his peers. He’s been a sponsored skater since the age of 12.

When his classmates were having sleepovers and playing video games, he was making his mark as an up-and-coming ripper in the Sacramento skate scene. While most boys were picking out tuxedos and corsages for prom, he was getting ready to tour with the San Francisco-based Blood Wizard skateboard company. On the verge of the release of his second video part for the company, Moss continues to lead a life unlike most 20-year-olds.

How did you get into skateboarding?

It was pretty much my dad. I was 8 years old. I just had some janky Nash; this janky classic board that I use to ride on my stomach. I looked up to [John] Cardiel. I saw him skating on Broadway and 21st Street, and I was like, “Dude is fucking awesome.”

What is a typical day like when you are touring with a company like Blood Wizard?

I have been on two Blood Wizard trips to the Northwest trying to skate as many parks as possible. It is pretty much what you would imagine it being. You pile into a van and go for it. You don’t necessarily get a per diem for every day. You are kind of on your own in a way. You pay for some meals; they pay for some meals.

They pretty much supply beer, weed, skateboards and a place to stay.

Other than that, dude, when you are on a trip, you never want to leave. It’s so rad. You have no cares in the world. You get to skate every day. You don’t have to go to work or worry about being responsible. It is all fun and games.

How’s the new Blood Wizard video project?

It’s cool. The video is called Wizard, Bloody Wizard. Everyone on the team definitely wants more footage—or at least I do. Pretty much I am just trying to get out there and film as much as possible and make my part the best that I can. I’m trying to step it up from the last video, for sure. With the first video, I was hyped on it, but I rushed to grab my footage from everybody that filmed me. Once it was all put together, it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be.

Do you have any streetskating horror stories?

I don’t know if you would want to hear about running from cops, but we were at the Fourth Avenue light-rail station skating.

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

My friends and I got kicked out by this security guard. He was being a total dick about it, so we went and put our boards in the car and went back to mess with him because he was being such a dick.

He ended up calling the light-rail police on us, and we weren’t even skating.

I was really young, so my first instinct was to run, so I ran down the railroad tracks, hopped the fence at Round Table [Pizza], and ran all the way around Land Park until I got around to my mom’s house. They put [my friends] in the back of the cop car and sent a helicopter after me. They were yelling my description over the loudspeaker. When I got home, I found out about [my friends]. The cops thought it was such a waste of money to send a helicopter for a 12-year-old kid for skateboarding.

What do you enjoy outside of skateboarding?

The only thing I really do outside of skating is nerd out on bicycles. I work at a bike shop, College Cyclery. I don’t have a

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road bike now, but I’m super into oldschool vintage road bikes. I like the craftsmanship. Old Italian bikes are made with the highest quality steel.

I think skaters like fixed gears because they are dangerous. It’s similar to skating, in a way. It’s not like a beach cruiser where you have brakes. You are riding a fixed gear with no brakes and constantly pedaling. You have to pay attention to what you are doing because if you fuck up, you’re done. It’s the fear factor involved that makes it popular with skaters.

What are you happy to say you’ve accomplished with skating?

I’m just stoked that I’m still skating and still love it as much as [when] I first started. Some people get over it and stop. I just don’t see myself quitting. There’s always more to learn and every day is like new. The best feeling is learning a new trick, practicing it, nailing it. That feeling you get is like nothing else. Ω

03.08.12

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Copyright © UC Regents, Davis campus, 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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