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Live Your Dream!

47 Meters Down: Uncaged (Aug. 16): This is a sequel to that shark movie that starred Mandy Moore. This one doesn’t have Moore, but it does contain sharks. And I apologize for the comments about those last two movies above. I have a sore throat, and I’m cranky. I thank you for your patience and understanding. Namaste.

September: Summer’s last gasp It: Chapter Two (Sept. 6): Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader and James McAvoy play adult versions of the Losers Club in the conclusion of Stephen King’s horror story. Downton Abbey (Sept. 20): Making a movie off of this TV show is like making a movie off of a potato chip sandwich. Hey … it’s getting close to the end of this article, and I’m running out of wiseass asides.

Good Boys (Aug. 16): Jacob Trembley plays a kid who curses a lot. This looks cool! Playmobil: The Movie (Aug. 16): It’s another toy movie. I’ve lost count. Toy movies can go straight to hell! Blinded by the Light (Aug. 16): This is a movie about a teenager in Britain who is a super fan of Bruce Springsteen. Movies about British teens who are Bruce Springsteen super fans can go to hell! It: Chapter Two (Sept. 6)

Rambo V: Last Blood (Sept. 20): I wasn’t a huge fan of Rambo 4 after enjoying the first three chapters. (First Blood remains one of my alltime favorite movies.) I thought the call to keep Rambo long-haired with his headband looked a little goofy, and it distracted me from the story, which wasn’t a very original one at that. I have hope for this differentlooking take, which starts with Rambo back in America and eventually leads to an alleged battle with a Mexican cartel. Rambo looks like a cowboy now, and I like the change. I just read a note from Stallone to the press about his elation during the editing process. So, yeah, I’m excited for this one. I am, and will always be, a sequel junkie. And with one last bellowing, awesomely crooked-mouthed scream from John Rambo, the summer shall end. Ω

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