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First, why should someone consider speaking to a counselor over talking to friends or family? There’s something really beneficial to getting an outside perspective. Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV) says “Where no counsel is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” There are many verses that speak of the benefit of having counselors. And if you go to a good counselor, you’ll be heard and experience safety and compassion. Not everyone gets that from friends and family. There’s also research that shows if you recall painful memories in the presence of a safe listener, the memories get stored in the brain differently—a little more healed. What are some reasons people might be resistant to visiting a counselor? As therapists, we often hear things like, “Dwelling in the past isn’t healthy or beneficial” or the classic, ”All you’ll do is analyze me.” Often, I think people associate seeing a counselor with having a mental illness, and that those who don’t have a psychotic disorder or severe trauma don’t need counseling.
“God DESIGNED us to be attached to people in HEALTHY ways” To your point, I have heard people say “only crazy people need counseling.” Can you tell me about other areas where counseling might be beneficial? The most common reason people come to me is to talk about their relationships—with parents, spouses, children, grandchildren, etc. This makes sense because we’re all in relationships. God designed us to be attached to people in healthy ways, but what did sin do when it entered the world? It disconnected our relationship with God, so of course we experience difficulty in our human relationships, too. Research shows a break in an important relationship can lead to dysfunctional relational patterns. Often, trauma or clinical depression are tied with fears of being abandoned or the loss of an
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