Forgiveness is Big Medicine

From the Editor Forgiveness is Big Medicine By Yvette Neshi Lokotz

“How does one know if she has forgiven? You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it all.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Clarissa Pinkola Estes is one of my favorite authors. I listen to most of her work on Audible books. Listening to her read to me is one of my favorite daily, morning events as I shower, brush my teeth, and fix my hair.

I love this quote about forgiveness, as Clarissa raises a few good points. We have read and heard much about why it is important to practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is good for the soul, for our consciousness, for our peace of mind. However, in Clarissa’s quote, she raises the question or rather a pondering, of how do we know there has been forgiveness.

Forgiveness as a noun is about the act of forgiving. Forgiving is an adjective that describes the understanding or allowing of weakness or error. The word forgive is a verb, an action, or behavior. Forgive is defined as, “to cease to feel resentment against an offender, to give up resentment of or claim to requital; or, to grant relief from payment of a debt.” https://www. merriam-webster.com/dictionary

From this definition we can identify forgiveness in ourselves if we stop feeling resentful, or we feel relief, even if it is about monetary payment. The feeling is the key to realizing there has been forgiveness. The feeling of emotions, such as rage, sorrow, anger, and disappointments begin to fade. These feelings are not triggered as much by certain words or behavior. I believe that forgiving by the aggrieved is meant to take away or alleviate the negative feelings over time. This forgiveness heals the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical wounds.

The person receiving the forgiving, the one who caused the hurt or pain, may or may not even know they have been forgiven by the aggrieved. They have their own part of the journey of forgiveness that may lead to alleviating their rage, anger, sorrow, and disappointment.

There is also a life lesson attached to the event that caused the act of forgiveness. The life lesson or lessons is for all people involved. We play parts or roles for each other so that the circumstances are created for soul growth. Perhaps forgiveness is meant to be a vehicle for soul growth. Although, when we are going through the drama and trauma of an event, we rarely focus on the lesson.

The absolution of a debt, whether financial or karmic, is filled with possibilities. There is a quote from the Bible about the children paying for the sins of the father. I know for many, this quote means a genetic or hereditary payment by the children, which may or may not be true. There is another meaning to this quote.

The children have an opportunity to heal the historic trauma they carry from their Ancestors. The children may also claim the wisdom passed down from their Ancestors, thereby absolving the debt. When we do the healing of our emotional and mental traumas, we heal our Ancestors seven generations back, and we heal our descendants seven generations forward. Absolution, forgiveness, is a powerful medicine for hope.

I believe when we forgive, the act of forgiveness affects the forgiver most profoundly when the forgiveness comes from their heart and not just their words. When a person’s thoughts, words, behavior, and emotions align, there is integrity and truth. Their truth does set them free with heartfelt forgiveness.

When we mind our own vibration, we take responsibility for our actions, our decisions, and our soul growth. For me, this

means understanding our personal meaning of forgiveness. It also means we ask ourselves if there is a person or persons we could forgive, including ourselves. Furthermore, it is just as important to take responsibility for our thoughts, words, and deeds if we hurt someone else and make a heartfelt integrous apology.

In my work, called “Journey to Remembering”, which is all about living our life from our hearts, there is a place called the “Tiny Space of the Heart”. The Tiny Space is a unified field of grace. When we enter this holy place, we can forgive and be forgiven when we make the prayer. Forgiveness is immediate and complete. I call this immediate and full moment Big Medicine.

I found a video with a reading from Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book Women Who Run with Wolves; an excerpt about rage and forgiveness. I hope you enjoy the video. Click the image below to watch the video.

Jage Nagonan, (Potawatomi for All My Relatives)

In this June issue of Star Nations Magazine, the contributing writers offer you articles about the Solstice, Father’s Day, Gardening, Faery, and Forgiveness. The cover is our nod to Faery Gardens.