Here are 15 ways to calm the jitters: 1. Talk to your child about what worries her. Provide accurate information if she is misinformed. 2. Listen carefully and respond empathetically. Avoid saying, “Don’t worry. You’ll be fine!” Focus on your child’s concerns. 3. Create safe space. The tween who resists face-to-face conversation may “open up” at unexpected moments. Look for natural opportunities to listen and check in during daily activities— riding in the car, doing a chore, playing a game. 4. Read books. Cockerton says books can give kids “language to express what they are feeling.” School-challenged characters can also normalize a child’s feelings. 5. List it. Help kids refocus on the positive by listing the things they’re excited about as well as the things that scare them. 6. Talk to veteran students. If your child is starting at a new school, make contact with kids that have been there a year or two. Fears of the unknown can be calmed with accurate kidto-kid info. 7. Tour, meet, and greet. Visit the school so your child can see the layout. Make introductions to teachers and other personnel. 8. Brainstorm. Help your child build a repertoire of possible solutions to a problem. Brown’s son, Colin, was anxious at the thought of changing into his gym clothes among other boys. She says, “We helped him figure out where he could change and feel he had some privacy.” 9. Play “what if…” What would you do if you forgot your lunch? What would you do if couldn’t find your homework? This technique gets even the youngest kids involved in problemsolving. As Principal Norris says, “Developing the skills to solve problems independently lasts a lifetime!” 10. Role play. Act out potentially uncomfortable interactions: What can you say if you want to be friends with someone? What can you do if someone is mean to you? 11. Resist overscheduling. Keep extracurricular activities manageable, especially during the first months of school. Kids need down time to unwind and reflect. 12. Show confidence. Let your child know you trust her ability to succeed. Remind her of the many challenges she’s faced and managed in the past. 13. Check parental fears. As Cockerton says, “Children are very good at reading their parents’ emotions and if the parent is worried about how their child will do at school, the child will interpret that as ‘something to be worried about.” 14. Make home comfortable. Kids who are worried about a parent’s physical or mental health may be reluctant to leave home. When major life events (divorce, death, a family move) occur, maintain as consistent a routine as possible. 15. Get help. If your child’s difficulties persist, Brown says, “Networking with the school personnel is a critical piece of the puzzle…Open communication with school teachers, counselors, and others is paramount to ensuring the most successful year possible.”
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ASHLEY TALMADGE is a freelance writer and mother of two elementary-age boys. She has found that each school year brings its own set of fascinations and challenges. NEAPOLITANfamily • August 2016
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