WHOM DO I TRAVEL WITH? ( REL ATIONSHIPS AND TEAMS [TH] AT WORK )
point as a leader to greet and engage people in conversation, respond attentively to their bids, and encourage others to do the same? Or are too many balls dropping out of play, making the workplace feel cool and flat? Do people at all levels understand the importance of simply making and responding to bids? Listen and Self-Disclose Once a relationship has been opened by a bid, two simple skills help deepen the connection: good listening and appropriate self-disclosure. These are the skills that allow close friendships to develop out of mere acquaintances. And close friendships not only lead to more engagement and satisfaction at work; they lead to a sense of meaning or abundance. While we often think our best friends are people we have a lot in common with, research suggests that proximity is really the more important variable in who will become a close friend. Our friends are more likely to be the people who live next door than the people who live just a block away, more likely to be people in our office than one building over, more likely to be people we sit next to in a class than those across the room. Sure, among the 150 or so people we interact with regularly we will often choose to get closer to those who like the things we like or who see the world as we see it, but in almost any group of 150 we can find such people with a little effort. In addition to good eye contact and an open posture, many good listeners take the time to restate what they are hearing to make sure they understand both the content and the feelings involved. “Wait a minute; let me make sure I understand. So you think . . . Am I understanding that
111