ORIGINS OF A LACK OF CONFIDENCE
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Parents usually have positive intentions motivating their behavior, yet sometimes they don’t communicate that. Take the phrase “act like a grown-up.” What does it mean? To have all the limits most adults do; to not play and experience pure joy like a child; to not learn, wonder, or explore? If that’s acting like a grown-up, I’d rather pass. Or consider the phrase “stop acting childish.” The notion of exploring, laughing a lot, and learning a lot is really what life is all about, so it would seem that kids have the right idea after all. By this definition, “acting childish” is the natural state of humans. What about the notion of “being realistic”? What does that really mean? Realistic according to whom? How specifically should I be realistic? The phrase is ludicrous. And calling people dreamers or telling them to “get your head out of the clouds” does not help them. It only instills limits in them and helps to bring them back into the bind of what is socially acceptable.
School School has a huge influence over children. We’re mandated to go. Teachers are powerful authority figures, and peer pressure is extremely high. We’re all taught to fit in; everyone wants to fit in. So how does school create a lack of confidence? One factor is peer pressure. Some kids make fun of anyone who does anything differently. School can also divide kids into different learning tracks, which is most unfortunate. Kids can be quite intelligent, much smarter than we typically give them credit for. They understand the labels that go with different learning tracks and they integrate these into their identities. The students labeled “slow” integrate this as