Closet of Conformity

by Tonya Mills, LPC-MHSP

Each year, Tennessee is one of the first states to introduce the highest number of anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation. 2023 has been no exception, with the primary focus being on preventing minors from gaining access to genderaffirming care and gender expression. For this article however, I will be focusing on one piece of legislation that has the potential for much broader implications.

SB 0003, known as the “anti-drag bill” creates an offense for any person who engages in “adult cabaret entertainment” (also defined as “adult-oriented performances”) on public property or in any location where the entertainment could be viewed by someone who is not an adult, and when the performances may be harmful to minors as defined under present law (whether single or multiple performances, paid or unpaid). “Male or female impersonators” is included in the definition of “adult cabaret”. The first offense will be a Class A misdemeanor, and every violation thereafter, a Class E felony. A link to the full bill summary is provided at the end of this article.

Nashville’s Gay Pride celebration and parades have been held in public parks and on city streets annually since 1988 (with the exception of 2020), and usually have drag performers in attendance. Should this bill become law, for the first time these performers will be subject to criminal charges as “male/female impersonators”. This law will also presumably prohibit drag shows from taking place in popular establishments (bars, cafes, music venues) where minors may be present (no more “drag brunches”). Drag, which rarely involves stripping or nudity, often incorporates comedy, and is a form of artistic and gender expression to the performer. This bill’s target to drag performers and Gay Pride celebrations is obvious.

What is less obvious and one of the more troubling aspects of this bill however, is the threat it poses to one of the most vulnerable subsets of the LGBTQIA+ population - our transgender and non-binary clients (which may or may not include drag performers). The use of broad terms like “male and female impersonators”, “harmful to minors”, and the general lack of guidance that’s been given on how and to what extent this law will be enforced, leaves them open to discrimination from law enforcement and prosecutors, and at the mercy of their interpretations. The message this bill sends to these clients is “get back in the closet you don’t belong you are not seen”. Many of them to varying degrees, will hear and feel this message as not only coming from the State of Tennessee, but from every negative, judgmental, and punitive voice in their past, ranging from all or some of: parents, family, classmates, coworkers, church, friends, employers, etc.

So how are we to do good clinical work, when the laws of our country tell our clients that they must remain behind closed doors, in their homes, or in the darkest of corners? I believe we must stay steadfast in our current course of providing a safe and accepting space and container for exploration of true self, but also reiterate that it’s more important than ever to find community and allies that can offer physical, emotional, mental, and general safety and support. Beyond this, I will share some common concerns and effective work done in treatment with my clients who identify as transgender and non-binary (understanding that this list is not exhaustive - each client’s experience/journey is of course unique, and so too will be therapy).

The discovery of gender identity is a journey of exploration that often includes little to no guidance and support, and may begin alone and in hiding, with gender dysphoria and shame, and can lead to bullying, abandonment, depression, anger, addiction, trauma, bodily dissociation, and suicidal ideation. It always involves the usually stressful “coming-out” process (sometimes in the therapy room). In my experience, it is absolutely essential that transgender and non-binary clients in particular feel seen in therapy. These clients often have someone other than who they are mirrored back to them in childhood. They also have a tendency to grow up not seeing themselves in the world around them. Part of connecting with self, is being able to look in the mirror and feel like you “see you”. It can be very distressing when they look at a reflection of themselves and see a person with a gender other than their own. I once asked a client who identified as transgender, what it felt like when he looked at himself in the mirror dressed as a woman. He responded “it feels like I’m home”. Because disconnect or dissociation from their bodies is not uncommon, I have found careful exploration of where they feel comfort and discomfort, as well as how they interpret and relate to their body can provide some relief to the dysphoria and shame.