Farewell Thoughts to Combat Vets D. Kirk Barton

FAREWELL THOUGHTS FOR MY COMBAT VETS

Barely true. Human truths are often like that. Barely true is true nevertheless. Barely true is true enough.

You are still here. Everyday is everyday. This is everyday. Real grown ups are showing up.

You might find yourself in an unsafe space. Such as a combat zone. Here grown ups show up murderous and set aside their own safety and self-care. These are skills that can only be learned and improved through practice literally everyday. And the United States Military does practice every day.

You will find the next chapter of your life in a peaceful space. Here grown ups show up calm and relaxed kind ready to help out and not wanting anyone to get hurt. These are skills that can only be learned and improved through practice literally everyday. And, in peaceful spaces, real grown ups do practice everyday.

Right Now We are here together in a peaceful space. In a peaceful space, each grown up is responsible for acknowledging and maintaining the fact that he or she is not in a combat zone.

In combat zones, We fight bad people. In peaceful spaces, Mostly we fight bad ideas, bad choices, and bad habits. Not bad people. In combat zones, You step on the ground and the ground explodes. In peaceful spaces, Someone else steps on you and you explode.

After tragedy and trauma It is hard to know where the past ends and the present begins. It is hard to know where memory ends and the body begins. It is hard to control what one cares about. It is hard to know what is real.

Here in peaceful spaces Questions about what is real can be relentless.

Am I awake or am I dreaming? Is this now or is this then? Is this me or is this you? Did I find this —or am I causing this? Can I choose how I feel?

Don’t be trapped by intoxicating misinformation or misinforming intoxication.

Be still in a still place. Take care of your thoughts before you demand that your thoughts take care of you. Take a deep breath. Take the breath that is true. Everything thinks for itself when the mind is calm. Everything takes care of itself when the body is relaxed.

The goal is to settle down enough to understand. We are like that. Showing up calm and relaxed is the appropriate and proper comportment of a real grown up in peaceful space. This skill is learned by taking time to practice showing up calm and relaxed. For yourself. Everyday.

Take care of your thoughts before you demand that your thoughts take care of you. This will teach you how to take care of other people before you demand that other people take care of you.

In peaceful spaces As you move to make yourself fit For joining us in asking the question “Who am I?” Begin by making sure that whoever you are, that person is a good person. Be sure you are a good person By making sure that you are a real grown-up. Because a real grown up is a good person. By definition.

It is hard to try to answer the question “Who am I?” Even here in peaceful spaces, Answers to this question are hard to find. However In peaceful spaces It is not hard to try to be a real grown up. Because responsibilities are always easy to find.

The responsibilities never stop. The responsibilities start right now. If you want to be a grown up. And a real grown up is a good person. By definition.

“Who am I?” For real. In peaceful spaces Follow after your best self. Learn and practice being a grown up. And you may come to know what is real. Because what is real will find you. Because reality always arrives on time.

Be True. Be like reality. Be real and arrive on time.

It is hard to trust other people when you have emotions And impossible when you don’t.

Sincerely and respectfully. Your psychiatrist and devoted friend, D. Kirk Barton MD, Staff Psychiatrist BHIP-1 Mental Health Clinic, Nashville VAMC September 26, 2019