Teacher Shoes Ranked

Julia Weber 9. The “Six Square Shoes” - Ms. Dillard I appreciate her dedication to the sport and the alliteration of the name! Your basic workout shoes, sacrificing some style for comfort and functionality. A solid 5/10 8. Sequin Boots - Ms. Wallace I love the sequins and the pattern on the leg. You can tell these boots have been very well loved and worn a lot, and unfortunately there is some crinkle-age. Bonus points for the fun pants she is wearing! 6/10 7. Gray Tennis Shoes - Dr. Bonner Very clean and basic design, they go with everything and look comfortable. I wasn’t allowed to photograph the other shoe because it “had ash on it,” so points off for dirtiness. I was told these are waterproof, which is very fitting for the leader of the Outdoor Club. I was also told these make your feet hot while wearing them, so more points off. 6/10 6. Dad Loafers - Mr. Gray The most dad shoes ever. These are the shoes your dad wears pretty much everywhere. I honestly would expect nothing less from Mr. Gray. 8/10 + cool dad points 5. Navy Business Shoes - Mr. Lynn Very classy business shoes, I really like the navy color since most shoes in this genre are black or brown. Well-cleaned and tied, and I very much appreciate the minimum amount of wrinkling. 8/10 4. White and Navy Adidas - Ms. Dillard These shoes look very modern, like something a high school student would wear. They are also very clean and pristinely white! I really like the navy accent on the back. Very business casual and comfortable for a long day of teaching. 9/10 3. Orange Tennis Shoes - Ms. Handelsman These are very colorful and brand new, and they look extremely comfortable. Bonus points for the very nice and symmetrical shoe lace tying. Ms. Handelsman was by far the most concerned about why I wanted a picture of her shoes. 9/10 for going along with it (and the amazing bows) 2. Pink Nikes - Ms. Lindblom Another very classy and trendy shoe from a millennial teacher! These are extremely well maintained, or maybe even brand new, and have zero wrinkles or scuff marks. I like the color a lot, too, and I think it is overall a very nice shoe. 10/10 1. Doc Martens - Mr. Hayden What a hipster and youthful shoe! I was so excited to see a teacher pull up with Doc Martens on--so very trendy and millennial. They look like they’ve been worn a lot, and I like that they feel loved. I almost always see these in black, so I like the color variation. 10/10

Shea Kelly If you’ve been on Instagram the past few months, it’s likely that you have seen someone posting about their “favorite new place,” sharing their healthy protein shakes and violently neon energy drinks and encouraging quotes written on the cups. These stores are definitely enticing: I can drink what tastes like a Nutrition Bar Memphis milkshake but has 20+ grams of protein and under a larger company that has been around for decades. 400 calories? Pretty good deal to me. Or, is it? That company, Herbalife, is a multi-level marketing Since these shops have started popping up all organization known for their protein shake powders over Instagram, my friends and I have been suspicious and supplements. Herbalife provides the main inof their “cult-like” following with fans promoting their gredients in the secret smoothie and tea flavors. The love for these places, advertising their over-energetic company doesn’t necessarily promote this kind of staff and mutual admiration of their customers. I’ve distribution of their product line, which may be the discovered this community of shake-lovers, complete- answer to why these stores are so low key. ly accepting of the fact that there is no public infor- Herbalife is a large, public company, with decades mation about what they’ve been “fueling” themselves of large, public problems. In 1985, the FBI received with. an anonymous tip that Herbalife was involved with Additionally, these nutrition shops have min- trafficking cocaine and heroin into the US, and later imal signage on their storefronts and tinted or taped over 500 kilos of cocaine packaged in their boxes up windows. The stores have no formal website, where was seized by Nevada State Patrol, customs agents in one would usually find ingredients listed and nutri- Georgia, and the Texas Police Department. Another tional information. When one commenter asked on investigation in 1997 discovered that the distribution their Instagram for the ingredients in the smoothies, of Herbalife products in Russia was being controlled Nourish @ Westhaven responded that they do not by the Russian Mafia. “actually have them listed on the page, but [...] all the Not only has Herbalife been involved with products are out and visible so [one] can read exactly drug and mafia affiliations, but board member Pewhat is in them.” The stores use minimal marketing, dro Cardoso was charged with embezzling over 10.4 other than their Facebook and Instagram pages. On million dollars. In 2010, Herbalife’s primary source Instagram, they target customers by finding people for helping cut checks and send out pre-paid cards to with high follower counts, following and liking their its distributors, HSBC, was forced to pay a 1.9 bilcontent. Of course, all photos I’ve seen so far pictured lion dollar fine for helping terrorists and criminals happy, (maskless) customers, usually ranging from move around funds. Most recently in August 2020, the neighborhood tweens to young families. Besides Herbalife agreed to pay 123 million to settle charges their bright and aesthetically pleasing Instagram, these of bribing Chinese officials and falsifying its books in shops keep a generally low-profile. I drive past Nour- order to boost business. ish @ Westhaven every day and never would have With the tumultous journey they’ve had, I’m noticed it if it had not popped up on my Instagram. sure you’re just as surprised as I was to hear that What unsuspecting new customers may not Herbalife is still thriving today, with an 8.6% increase know is that most of these stores, including Nourish @ in net sales to 1.3 billion dollars in August 2020 Westhaven and Hillsboro Nutrition, are connected to during their second quarter. While I never intended

to take any health and wellness advice from Herbalife or consume their disturbingly bright energy drinks, I certainly do not plan on following in their business management footsteps. With decades of charges and under-the-carpet transactions, it’s shocking to hear that people still support this company and shops that use their products. January 4th, Carl Icahn, activist investor, sold more than half of his shares in Herbalife back to the company for $600 million. While he’s not spoken explicitly about selling his shares, his actions seem to indicate a distancing from their fraudulence. All this information is not to say that these local stores are linked to the Russian mafia and drug trafficking but to question the ethics behind companies that make information regarding their product secretive or hard to find, as well as keeping their storefronts on low-profile. Places like Panera Bread, Jamba Juice and even small, locally owned shops that sell “smoothies” have to provide nutritional information to customers and make it easy for them to find. I don’t understand why this is not the case with shops like Nourish who sell similar products. I also believe that this fad will soon decline as more people realize what they’re putting in their bodies, and food and drink regulators step in. Google Play

While there’s enough to say about MLMs, there’s another issue associated with selling food and drink and keeping the details of what is actually in them difficult to find. Nourish @ Westhaven, Hillsboro Nutrition as well as Herbalife themselves do not list their ingredients online, but instead hide behind a facade of “living healthy” while drinking sweet drinks. To market directly to younger generations with neon colors and flavors like “Birthday Cake” and “Caramel Macchiato” is exactly what the vaping industry gets in trouble for, and at the very least, why should we continue to let these companies market diet products to young children? It’s honestly disturbing. These stores have capitalized off generations willing to do anything to drop a few pounds or look better for Instagram. It’s easy to buy into MLMs, with the idea of joining a community and making some extra money along with it. However, it’s disturbing that people are unknowingly walking in the doors of places they believe to be healthy, quick service solutions, only to find shady explanations of the hype behind what they’re actually consuming.

Sydney Carroll and Brayden Didier 6. The Boys and Girls Bathrooms in the A/W: These truly weren’t that bad. Both of us had been in the bathrooms for our respective sexes before, and we weren’t surprised that the A/W bathrooms were high on our list. For the bathrooms on campus that are arguably used the least, they’re definitely the bougiest. Cleanliness: 9 Style: 9 Overall Experience: 9

5. The Boys Bathroom in Bragg: Not a terrible experience… While there’s certainly room to improve, the boys bathroom in Bragg at least has a working soap dispenser during a pandemic (better than we can say for the girls bathroom in Bragg). It’s kept remarkably clean, which certainly makes it a top bathroom on campus. Cleanliness: 9 Style: 7 Overall Experience: 8

4. Old Fine Arts Building Girls Bathroom: We’re willing to cut this bathroom some slack considering it’s in an active construction zone. First, we were both surprised at how the fine arts building looked since we haven’t been in there since the before times. The girls bathroom looked relatively the same, except for the two missing ceiling tiles. We’re not sure that’s a safety hazard, but it’s definitely not the greatest. Overall, not the worst experience. Cleanliness: 8 Style: 6 Overall Experience: 7

3. The Girl’s Bathroom in Bragg: Where do I even begin… you know what? The girls bathroom in Bragg isn’t that bad. If anything, it represents a facet of the BGA way: Resilience. This bathroom has everything: directions for how many times to flush the toilet written on the wall, and a stall that’s been locked for the past two years. The only thing this bathroom doesn’t have? A working soap dispenser. Yup. Even in the midst of the pandemic, there continues to be no working soap dispenser in this bathroom, dropping the Bragg Girls bathroom’s rating significantly. Cleanliness: 5 Style: 7 Overall Experience: 5

2. The Girls Bathroom in Armistead: No amount of Febreze could fix this bathroom. The odor in this bathroom will let you know really quickly if COVID has stolen your sense of smell. Sans the smell, this bathroom wouldn’t be that low on my list. But it’s just that bad. Cleanliness: 3 Style: 7 Overall Experience: 4

1. The Boys/Girls Bathrooms in the Cherry Lobby: We felt that we could evaluate these together because our experience in them was relatively the same. First, the floors are nasty. The blue/white tile pattern is really complemented by the dirt and grime ground into them. Now, the surplus of stalls in these bathrooms was going to be a plus--until we looked inside said stalls. Whether it was the random plunger in one of the stalls, the toilet that was skewed to the wrong side, or the multiple dead beetles on the ground, this bathroom did not win our affection. And considering that this is the bathroom that guests use, we might want to shape up. Cleanliness: 2 Style: 4 Overall Experience: 3

Sydney Carroll

Jessie’s sporting a super cute black and white plaid mask from Target. “It’s very comfortable, durable, and suitable - all of the ables,” she added. I couldn’t find Jessie’s mask on the Target website, but I’ve found similar ones on Etsy!

Mary Courtney, who’s known for her mask game, wore a boho chic pink and white tye-dye mask. She gets all of her masks from Kitsch, and you can find this mask in a three piece set on Kitsch’s website. Cat was given this mask while she was volunteering at Graceworks, so she’s not sure exactly where it’s from. Cat’s mask is definitely one of my favorites, and is very comfortable.

Graci’s mask is ALSO from Kitsch - “Mary Courtney sent me the site,” she explained. I guess at this point this article is turning into an ad for Kitsch. If you want Graci’s mask, it comes in a different 3 piece set on Kitsch’s website.