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Children are a miracle. That they come into the world helpless, dependent upon their parents for every need they have, only to be able, in a few short years, learn how to form words, sentences, paragraphs, state their needs and desires, offer opinions, have judgments, and each day learn something new about the world they live in. They learn to love, to express feelings, to worry, to laugh, to cry, to trust, or not to trust. When you really think about it, what else would it be, if not a miracle? Young children have little to offer at first. They can’t cook, clean the house, drive a car, or even soothe your hurt feelings or settle your marital disputes. They do, however, have something to offer that is often take for granted, and that is their unending lack of imagination. Think of it. They see a television show about astronauts, and suddenly they imagine they are in a rocket ship to the moon. They read a book about Cinderella, and 58
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For What It’s Worth
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by Dr. Melfi, Ph.D.
they imagine they can marry a prince. Their imagination runs wild daily, several times daily, which is why, in my opinion, buying toys is not the waste of money that some parents think it is. Remember Weebles? They wobbled but they didn’t fall down. Kids never wondered why they had painted faces and no arms or legs. They just believed they were real, with real situations and real adventures. So, when your child comes to you with a story that’s lets say, larger than life, fabricated, untrue, they are using their imagination. I’m not talking about getting out of trouble with an out and out lie. That’s not what this article is about. I’m talking about parents who try to instill, in their two-year old or threeyear old, factual information that puts the kibosh on imaginative expertise. Is it really so important to fact check every little detail, or is it more important to allow your child to let his imagination soar to heights that only children can go?
Eventually, you can introduce the words “imagination” and “true” but not too early. Let them feel as though they are giving you a gift, that they have something to offer, that captivates the attention of everyone at the dinner table. About the age of five or so, you can congratulate their imagination, but also congratulate the truth. For example, “That is a really good story. If it is imagination, it’s terrific, and if its truth, it’s also wonderful of you to tell me. Can you tell me if your story is truth or imagination? Without judgement, they will tell you. For What it’s Worth, let children be children for as long as possible. It’s something they will never be again
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