The next day, 10th October, I had travelled to Brisbane from the Gold Coast with my husband and whilst he had a few jobs to do I rushed off to the shops to get some last minute items in readiness for the new arrival. Wondering around the shops I was stopped in my tracks on three different occasions with sharp pains shooting down into my vagina and radiating down my leg. I cut the shopping short and headed back to my husband for fear my waters would break in the middle of the shops! I wasn’t too concerned at this point as I had a preterm labour with my first baby and just assumed that this was a high possibility again. Heading home from Brisbane that afternoon I sat in the passenger seat with my husband and not long into the trip I started to experience some really erratic movements from my baby. Dex was usually a pretty active baby but on this occasion his movements were different. My husband giggled and commended Dex on his strength but I wasn’t smiling. I looked to my husband and said, no no it’s not funny this really hurts. The erratic behaviour ceased moments later and the worry left me soon after. We arrived home, collected my eldest child from school and went about our evening as usual. That night I remember having a restless sleep. I remember waking several times tossing and turning because I felt queasy and not quite right. It wasn’t enough to completely rouse me. The next morning, I woke earlier than usual with cramps like the onset of labour. I had been to the toilet two or three times with loose bowels and having been through labour before I was positive this was it. I told my husband to head out for his last surf but to check in with me every 30 minutes, meanwhile I went about getting my daughter ready for school and headed off on the school run. Until this point Dex was displaying normal behaviours. I dropped my daughter at 52
january 2017 | mychild
school and gave her the rundown of what to expect after school as I was sure I’d be in the hospital delivering our baby. Heading back on my 15 minute trip home I felt Dex throw quite a strong kick, I was still having contractions every five minutes but still very mild. Within an hour of arriving home I didn’t feel right. The contractions had dwindled away and I felt that Dex was being still…too still. My husband called to check in with me and I expressed my concerns with him, he reassured me that Dex was just going quiet because of the pending labour. I wasn’t convinced but I didn’t want to overreact. I was eager to get Dex to move so I started with the at home tips to get baby moving. I had icey cold water, laid on my left side and ate something sweet but nothing. I poked and prodded my belly and still nothing. By now my husband was home, he was still convinced that labour was coming and that we would be having him today. That afternoon we had our antenatal class at the hospital. We sat in the classroom with 14 other couples. At this point I still hadn’t felt my baby move so I leant over and said to my husband that I wanted to have the baby checked at the end of the class if I still hadn’t felt him. He agreed. The class came to an end and still nothing so we headed up to the maternity ward to get checked over. Heading into the room the nurse was optimistic. She had me lay up on the bed and fumbled around to find the Fetal Heart Doppler. The Doppler went on and a heartbeat was picked up, my husband looked at me like see I told you so, but straight away I knew it was mine. I stared blankly back at him and shook my head. The nurse tried to reassure me and said that their machines are not always accurate. She hurried off to get the mobile ultrasound machine. As soon as my baby came up on the screen it confirmed my worst fears and instantly my world was turned upside down, he was gone. “I’m sorry. There’s no heartbeat” are the words that will haunt me forever.