Lessons Learned Lessons Learned

BY FREDA SOJKA

At 71, there have been so many chapters in my life, each chapter has many stories and lessons of its own . Every day I participate, life brings on more . I will give this a shot of the ones that come to mind .

If I put my mind to it, I could achieve anything. I am only limited by my lack of effort, not my gender or my circumstances.

I grew up in the 50s on a dairy farm, the 2nd oldest of 4 girls One of the most powerful and lifelong lessons came from my folks Raised in the Ozark Mountains with large families, during a tough economic time in America, they had to grow up early and learned to work hard to be able to feed their families . They passed that work ethic along to us At the age of 5 I learned to drive a tractor I think of that now, when I look at a 5 year old, and wonder how in the world that happened . I couldn’t sit and reach the pedals . I had to stand to apply the break . One rainy day the pedal was slick and I ran into a shed Summers were spent working hard, but playing hard . It was a good childhood, with strong family ties Playing in the back yard, chasing lightening bugs and playing games with cousins, eating large meals that the women worked hard to prepare My folks also instilled in me that anyone in America could do well if they worked hard That belief has never left me and shaped the pattern of my life

if planning to make ultimatums, have a backup plan!

In the 70s my folks sold the cows and bought a popular supper club called Kingsbury Inn in Fredonia, Iowa, a tiny town along the river I had moved to Missouri, gotten married and was pregnant with my daughter We moved back to Iowa to help run “KI” I loved working with my mom on that business, and learned a great deal by trial and error We all knew nothing about running a restaurant, but we learned Catfish was the specialty and people came from miles around to eat and dance to the local bands that were not especially good, but with enough liquor flowing and volume, a good time could be had . Supper clubs were popular at the time . They were a social gathering for many in rural Iowa . I was in my mid 20s and thought I knew everything . We had an excellent cook who I had worked with as an assistant One of the busiest times of the year was Columbus Day Shriners came from all over Iowa to attend the parade, and KI was a popular place for them to gather with drinks and money flowing . I had told the cook to make up filets, the Shriners loved filets . She refused to take the time to prepare the tenderloins . I kept pushing her until she threw down her apron and walked out the door, never to return I was left to cook for the huge crowd that would be arriving soon Somehow we pulled that evening off, giving away many free drinks because of the delays I stayed on to cook there until they sold it around 1980 and I fell in love with running a family business The grandkids have fond memories of working at KI, doing dishes, helping out and playing the jukebox

LIFE IS FULL OF TURNING POINTS.

There are events that seem bad at the time, but create incentives to start down new paths . I had went to work at a local chemical plant, one of 6 women hired on the same day, in 1981, most of those women were to quit within a short time . My folks had sold the business, I had no skills other than the food business . I was divorced, raising two small children and needed income . It was a good paying job, but swing shift in a plant that was mostly men The work was hard, the hours brutal During the KI years, I had started drinking alcoholically, and had started down a dark path of alcohol abuse Working swing shift only made that worse In December of 1983, on the brink of losing my job, I went to treatment and have not had a drink since Much of the 39 years since has been working with women trying to find a way out of that life I stayed with that job until July of 2004, when I left with an early out to start Simply Soothing with my daughter, Nikki Salek, wanting to create another family business

HAVE A PLAN, BUT DONT PLAN THE OUTCOME

Nikki and I wanted to start a business in 2003 that was all things soothing We opened a shop in downtown Muscatine across from the brand new mall, making candles, lotions and all things smelly We named it Simply Soothing . One of our most popular items at that time were Smelly Critters, stuffed animals dipped in scented wax We loved unique items that could not be found in a regular store We did well during the holidays, but come February I had to lay my daughter off (who was managing it) and move it to my basement in Columbus Junction I took that early out from Monsanto so I could run it, with free help from my mom We didn’t make any money, but we loved creating new things and spending time together We had made lotions and creams for a Bed and Breakfast in Iowa City called Mission House Started by a couple that had grown up in Columbus Junction and had read an article about our fledgling business . Nancy Kittle, an Iowa alumna from Chicago, often stayed at Mission House . She had recently retired from the corporate world and taken over her father’s Cosmetic business . She tried our shea cream and Ray and Shirley Hendrickson set up a meeting with her and I Nancy asked if I could make the cream in volume, and although I was making it on my kitchen stove, I said yes . Another turning point that led us on an entirely new adventure We bought an old building downtown, opened a shop and started making shea cream in volume We made Simply Shea Cream for Nancy for many years That building was where the first pallet of Bug Soother was made and loaded on a truck with a borrowed fork truck, for our first big order business but life in general This story touches on all the above lessons With Simply Soothing, we had no intention of making a bug repellent . In 2007 my