4 minute read
PRIORITISING SELF AS AN ACT OF LOVE
Prioritising Self
as an Act of Love
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Why is it that as you hear or read the above sentences, you think, “Yep, never going to happen!” As women, relaxation seems so alien to us; so foreign. We offer
space for others to relax. But rarely take time off for ourselves. What is this invisible pressure you and I place on ourselves, that we must forever give, but do not create space to receive? I live by a golden rule that dictates my life, and today I want to share that with you: Your relationship with everything and everyone outside of you, is the exact reflection of your relationship with yourself.
Today, I invite you to check in with the most intimate relationships you have with people around you and ask if they truly serve and support you in a way that feels best for you right now? Or, are they getting on your nerves? Do you feel burdened by their presence? Is it claustrophobic to spend time with them always? Do you wish they could fix a cup of tea on their own once in a while? Drop the kids off? Make a meal for you? Plan a mini-vacation on the long weekend? Take you off of the mother and wife duties? Or, if nothing, actually just ‘get you’.
You see, sometimes when one gets ruffled about their needs not being met, it’s often time to realise that other people learn to treat you by looking at how you treat yourself. So, ask yourself: Where am I not listening to me? Where am I not giving me time? Where am I not receiving my own energy, presence and love? The first person we need to learn to receive from is ourselves. When your body feels tired, you need to stop pursuing. When your brain feels fried, you need to find quiet time. When your heart feels achy, you must love on yourself first.
Why do you treat yourself last? My guess is that maybe it was
how we saw our mothers, aunts and grandmothers treat themselves. Maybe it’s the way women’s roles were defined in society, and continue to be defined today. Maybe your hesitation to place yourself anywhere in the Top 5 priorities of your life, is because a friend once told you, the only way to hold a family together is to always please your partner. Maybe, you saw older women pass judgement-filled looks to the new mum who asked for help with taking care of her child, so that she could have a nap or do something restful. I could go on about how our cultures, societies and family structures have created How-to-Do-LifeRight blueprints that leave women feeling extremely exhausted and depleted.
The truth is, that in trying to always do things ‘right’ and fit in to these roles, has left women feeling unhappy, stressed, frustrated, angry and alone. This is serving none. So, what if you could begin to create your own rules? Start expressing what you need? Find the courage to believe that you deserve some time to relax and be on your own?
May I ask you to begin with making selftime a non-negotiable with your partner and kids? And to let that be the authority that leads you through your life. Cultivate a knowing that the people around you will learn this new love-language you are speaking to yourself, as they witness you blossom in its sweet embrace.
It’s time. You now need to step into expressing your needs uninhibitedly in your own life and lead yourself to becoming a relaxed woman by offering yourself priority, time, kindness and love. And then maybe on an afternoon you can-
Grab a cup of your favourite beverage. Find a corner in your home that you love. A comfy seat. Perhaps a foot stool for resting your legs. Your current book or magazine on your lap. And melt into an afternoon of simply being with you. In ease and total relaxation.
Radzy Chugh
Radzy is a Coach, Qoya Movement teacher and leads the #FuelledByJoy rebellion. Radzy has worked with women across the globe leading them to live Joy-Fully. As a Qoya movement teacher, Radzy has facilitated retreats in India and offered Qoya at retreats in Bali. Radzy received her Masters in Economics degree from New York University in 2013. Allowing Joy to fuel her choices, she chose to honour her Soul’s path and ventured on as an Intuitive healer, Reiki practitioner and crystal enthusiast. Radzy’s Joy has led her to travel across the globe visiting Costa Rica, Iceland, Australia, Dubai, New Zealand and Bali participating and leading in retreats. Through her work Radzy encourages women to create a strong, transparent and committed relationship with themselves. #FuelledByJoy is a movement driven by the idea that women need to shift their attitude that allows them freedom to be and feel important in their lives. It is an invitation and opportunity for women to reclaim and empower themselves.
