How to Live Amicably with In-Laws Together with blood relatives, Allaah Ι also speaks about the importance of in-laws29. This makes it clear that there are rights due to one’s parents-in-law just as there are rights due to one’s own parents. It is the right of one’s parents-in-law that one should serve them as long as they are alive. If one has to live with one’s parentsin-law, one should regard it as one’s honour to serve them. Constantly thinking about living by oneself will spoil one’s relationship with one’s parents-in-law. Think awhile. A mother carried her son with immense difficulty and endured untold sacrifices and hardships in rearing him. The father also invested his efforts and money in raising his son. After all the effort in raising their son and getting him married, his parents entertained the hope that they will be able to live peacefully with their son and daughter-in-law in their old age and enjoy their grandchildren. How inconsiderate will that daughter-in-law be whose first concern when getting married is to separate this son from his parents? When the mother-in-law learns that the daughter-in-law is planning to separate them from their beloved son, matters begin to deteriorate and life becomes unbearable for all concerned.
and will regard you as one of their own. Always obey your parents-in-law and never occupy your thought with leaving their house because this leads to a strained a relationship. 2.
Never look down at or feel embarrassed about the work that your in-laws do. By assisting them in their work, they will have great love and admiration for you.
3.
Never listen to gossip. Keep away from women who gossip and never add to their gossip.
4.
Treat every instruction of your mother-in-law like an instruction from your own beloved mother. Give her pleasure precedence over everything else even though she may not treat one very well. Never contradict her instructions and never backchat when speaking to her. Speak to her with great respect and never address her as you would address an equal. Never say anything if she scolds you and always remember that your mother-in-law is more important than your husband’s mother-in-law. Never speak harshly to her and sip her harshness like a sweet drink. If she delegates a task to someone else, try to do it yourself.
5.
Behave respectfully towards all elders like the wives of your husband’s elder brothers. Always keep their ages in mind and do not speak to them as you would speak to women of your age. Treat them like your own sisters and you will soon notice that others will treat you likewise. If they are younger than you, be loving and kind towards them and if you cannot do their work for them, assist them as far as possible. Adopt the same attitude towards your husband’s sisters. However, you should adopt moderation in your approach because matters may become difficult once the limits of social relations are overstepped. Friendly relations with other women should never lead you to speak about others because anything said about another person which s/he does not like is regarded as backbiting. Backbiting is a major sin.
6.
In addition to this, you should also show love and affection towards the children of the family, such as the children of your brothers-and-sisters-in-law. Rasulullaah ρ has mentioned that the person who does not respect elders and does not show mercy towards youngsters is not from among his followers. Our beloved 148
A daughter-in-law should live amicable with all her in-laws. She should respect the elders among them, show compassion towards the children of their families and should not feel embarrassed to do what her mother-in-law or sisters-in-law tell her to do. She should never inform her mother about the wrongs that her mother-in-law does because this will lead to unnecessary disputes and will do no good whatsoever.
Some Advice 1.
It should not upset you if your husband gives all his money to his parents and gives you nothing. In fact, if he hands the money over to you, you should decline the offer and suggest that he give it to them. In this manner, your parents-in-law will be impressed
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Allaah Ι says in verse 54 of Surah Naml (Surah 24), “It is He Who has created man from water and has appointed for him relatives by blood and relatives by marriage. Your Rabb is Ever Powerful.”
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