Music and Lyrics by Neil Bartram Book by Brian Hill
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T h e T h e o r y o f R e l a t i v i t y b e g a n a s a c o m m i s s i o n f r o m To r o n t o ’ s
S h e r i d a n C o l l e g e t o w r i t e a m u s i c a l t h e a t r e p i e c e s p e c i f i c a l l y f o r
c o l l e g e - a g e a c t o r s . We w a n t e d t o w r i t e s o m e t h i n g t h a t w o u l d o f f e r t h e m a c h a n c e t o p e r f o r m a g e - a p p r o p r i a t e a n d a c c e s s i b l e m a t e r i a l .
To g e t i n s i d e t h e h e a d s o f t h i s a g e g r o u p w e m e t w i t h a n u m b e r o f y o u n g a c t o r s , t a l k e d w i t h t h e m a n d l i s t e n e d c l o s e l y t o t h e i r s t o r i e s
We h a v e t o a d m i t t h a t w e b r a c e d o u r s e l v e s f o r a s e r i e s o f s t o r i e s o f
B r o a d w a y h o p e s a n d d r e a m s o f s t a r d o m To o u r v e r y h a p p y s u r p r i s e , w h a t e m e r g e d w a s a n y t h i n g b u t t h a t . We l i s t e n e d f o r h o u r s t o h i l a r i o u s a n d h e a r t b r e a k i n g s t o r i e s a b o u t h o m e , c h i l d h o o d , f a m i l y, l o v e , l o s s , a n d t h e p r o f o u n d s e n s e o f c o n n e c t i o n a m o n g t h e m . I n e a c h o f t h e i r s t o r i e s w a s a c o m m o n t h r e a d o f c o m m u n i t y a n d t h e u n c e r t a i n t y t h a t c o m e s w i t h t h e i r e v e r - e x p a n d i n g w o r l d s . I n s p i r e d b y t h e s e s t o r i e s , w e s e t a b o u t t o c r a f t a s h o w t h a t w o u l d w e a v e t o g e t h e r s o n g s a n d t e x t t o c e l e b r a t e t h i s u n i v e r s a l s e n s e o f c o n n e c t i o n We ' v e f o u n d a n d w e h o p e y o u ' l l f i n d t h a t t h e w h o l e o f R e l a t i v i t y i s g r e a t e r t h a n t h e s u m o f i t s p a r t s . O n f i r s t r e a d i n g , t h e s h o w m a y a p p e a r t o b e a s i m p l e s o n g c y c l e , b u t w e u r g e y o u t o e x p l o r e t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p s a m o n g t h e c h a r a c t e r s , t h e c o n n e c t i o n s t h a t e x i s t b e y o n d t h e s i n g l e s t o r i e s , t o f i n d a m o r e c o m p l e x c o m m u n i t y o f c o n n e c t i o n t h a t c u l m i n a t e s i n t h e f i n a l m o n o l o g u e . I n o u r m i n d s , t h e r e a l s t o r y o f t h e p i e c e i s i n t h i s g r o u p o f d i s p a r a t e i n d i v i d u a l s b e c o m i n g a c o m m u n i t y a s t h e y o b s e r v e , s h a r e , a n d e x p e r i e n c e e a c h s t o r y T h i s i s w h a t c a n m a k e R e l a t i v i t y p r o f o u n d l y r e s o n a n t . ( T h i s m a y g o w i t h o u t s a y i n g b u t p l e a s e n o t e t h a t R e l a t i v i t y i s n o t a r e v u e a n d t h e r e f o r e t h e s o n g s a n d m o n o l o g u e s m u s t b e p e r f o r m e d i n t h e o r d e r p r e s e n t e d h e r e )
Yo u s h o u l d n o t e t h a t t h e c h a r a c t e r n a m e s i n d i c a t e d i n t h e s c r i p t a n d s c o r e a r e b a s e d o n a c a s t o f t h i r t e e n . T h i s i s t h e s i z e o f t h e o r i g i n a l c a s t b u t R e l a t i v i t y c a n b e p e r f o r m e d b y a c a s t o f e i g h t o r e i g h t y o r a n y t h i n g i n b e t w e e n To h e l p y o u o u t , w e ' v e i n c l u d e d s o m e c a s t s i z e a n d d o u b l i n g s u g g e s t i o n s .
F i n a l l y, w e w a n t t o t h a n k a l l o f t h e w o n d e r f u l t h e a t r e c o m p a n i e s a n d t h e e q u a l l y w o n d e r f u l y o u n g a c t o r s w h o h a v e b e e n i n s t r u m e n t a l i n t h e d e v e l o p m e n t o f t h i s p i e c e .
W i s h i n g y o u a l l t h e b e s t , B r i a n H i l l & N e i l B a r t r a m
T h e f o l l o w i n g a r e t h r e e p o s s i b l e c a s t s i z e s w i t h o u r s u g g e s t e d
d o u b l i n g o r s p l i t t i n g . A c a s t o f t h i r t e e n o r m o r e w i l l a l l o w e a c h
a c t o r t o a s s u m e a s i n g l e r o l e t h r o u g h o u t t h e s h o w A p r o d u c t i o n w i t h a c a s t o f l e s s t h a n t h i r t e e n s h o u l d b e a p p r o a c h e d w i t h e a c h
a c t o r a s s u m i n g m u l t i p l e r o l e s N o t e t h a t w i t h s m a l l e r o r l a r g e r
c a s t s , y o u ' l l n e e d t o r e d i s t r i b u t e i n c i d e n t a l s o l o l i n e s .
I n a n y c a s e , w e s t r o n g l y s u g g e s t t h a t y o u u s e t h e s e c h a r a c t e r n a m e s f o r y o u r r e f e r e n c e o n l y r a t h e r t h a n i n c l u d i n g t h e m i n y o u r s h o w
p l a y b i l l . We f e e l i t ' s b e s t t o i n c l u d e o n l y s o n g t i t l e s a n d t h e n a m e s o f t h e a c t o r s p e r f o r m i n g t h e m , r a t h e r t h a n i n d i c a t i n g w h i c h
c h a r a c t e r s t h e y a r e p l a y i n g
13 (preferred)
Amy
Caroline
Catherine
Jenny
Julie
Mira
Sara Adam
Anthony
Oliver
Mike
Paul
Ryan
16
Amy
Caroline
Catherine 1 (Cake monologues)
Catherine 2 (Great Expectations)
Jenny
Julie
Mira
Sara
Adam
Anthony 1 (Lipstick)
Anthony 2 (You Will Never Know)
Mike 1 (Great Expectations)
Mike 2 (Apples & Oranges)
Oliver
Paul
Ryan
8
Amy/Caroline
Catherine
Jenny/ Mira
Julie/Sara
Adam/Anthony
Ryan/Mike
Oliver
Paul
(A GROUP OF STUDENTS, isolated and unconnected, stares perplexed at a test page or blackboard )
# 1 P e r s o n A
Person A.
Person B
A is walking toward B at a rate of three miles per hour and B is walking toward A at a rate of two miles per hour How fast does B perceive A to be walking?
A D A M
Newton’s first law of motion A body in a state of uniform motion will remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.
I am standing still.
On the earth.
The earth spins at a rate of one thousand and seventy miles per hour The earth orbits the sun at a rate of sixty-seven thousand miles per hour. The sun travels through the galaxy at a rate of four hundred and ninety thousand miles per hour
I am NOT standing still
“When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”
Albert Einstein.
Newton’s second law of motion A change of motion is proportional to and is made in the direction of the force applied.
Person A.
Person B.
If A’s position is seven miles from B, and A is walking at a rate of four miles per hour—
—and B is walking at a rate of five miles per hour at a forty-five degree angle to the path of Person A
how soon will they meet
and how will the path of each person be altered by that contact?
If a tree falls in the forest
(interrupting)
Newton’s third law of motion To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
and no one ’ s there to hear it
(interrupting)
“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile ” Albert Einstein.
does it
(interrupting)
I’m rubber and you ’ re glue What you say bounces off me and sticks to you
I exist only if observed
I am nothing without you
# 2 R e l a t i v i t y
I STANd ON A MARBLE THAT HuRTLES THROuGH SPACE MY ORBIT ANd PATH ARE uNIquE. AROuNd ME THE PLANETS, THEY SWIRL ANd THEY RACE, WHILE I WATCH HERE HuMBLE ANd MEEK.
I’M HELd TO THE EARTH
BY A FORCE I CAN’T SEE
BuT I STRIvE Ev’RY dAY TO TAKE FLIGHT.
I AM ENERGY
I AM MASS
I AM LIGHT.
SO THIS IS MY JOuRNEY MY TIME ON THIS ROCK.
R Y A N
I’LL CHART OuT A COuRSE WHILE I’M HERE WITH MY MOdEST RESOuRCES, ANd MY EYE ON THE CLOCK, MY PERSPECTIvE uNJAdEd ANd CLEAR
J E N N Y
I STudY THE vECTORS, WITH quANTuM TECHNIquES, ANd I PRAY MY EquATIONS ARE RIGHT. J
I AM ENERGY
I AM MASS.
I AM A L L
LIGHT AS IT SPEEdS, LIGHT AS IT SHIMMERS, LIGHT AS IT PIERCES THE SKY SOMETHING AWAKES, IT TREMBLES ANd SIMMERS, A FORCE THAT IS YEARNING TO FLY A N T H O N Y
BuT THE TERRAIN IS uNPREdICTABLE COMPLEx MYSTERIES APPEAR. THERE ARE PARAdOxES HERE TO uNdO.
M I R A
ANd NOW RELATIvELY SPEAKING, SOMETHING’S RELATIvELY NEAR
ANd I’M RELATIvELY CERTAIN IT’S A CLuE
(Each STUDENT becomes gradually aware of the others in the space.)
A L L
ANd IT’S YOu
ON THIS MARBLE, HuRTLING THROuGH SPACE
WITH A PATH JuST AS THOuGHTFuL ANd WISE.
I STANd HERE BESIdE YOu
ANd I LOOK IN YOuR FACE, ANd I SEE MYSELF IN YOuR EYES
(They become aware of the audience watching them.)
NOW LOOK ALL AROuNd uS.
MORE TRAv’LERS, MORE EYES
WITH PASSIONS THEY LONG TO PuRSuE.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
YOu
ANd THERE’S YOu
YOu
ANd THERE’S YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu
YOu
YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
YOu
ANd THERE’S YOu
YOu
ANd THERE’S YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu.
YOu.
ANd THERE’S YOu
A L L
ANd WE’RE ALL ON THIS MARBLE
THAT HuRTLES THROuGH SPACE
OuR ORBITS ANd PATHS ARE uNIquE. BuT WITH SOMEONE BESIdE ME TO MEASuRE MY PACE,
SOMEHOW I’M NOT quITE SO MEEK.
SO I LEARN WHAT’S IMPORTANT
I EvOLvE ANd I GROW.
I REACH FOR YOuR HANd ANd HOLd TIGHT WE ARE ENERGY ENERGY.
ENERGY
WE ARE MASS
WE ARE LIGHT.
(PAUL steps forward as the OTHERS watch. He addresses an unseen listener in a restaurant. NOTE the FULL CAST remains onstage for the entire show.)
P A U L
GOOd EvENING, dOCTOR O’HARA, I’M GLAd YOu COuLd MAKE IT.
I KNOW, IT’S FRuSTRATING GETTING TO MIdTOWN AT THIS TIME OF dAY.
THE uPTOWN N R IS A PAIN. NOT TO MENTION THE RAIN
BuT THANK YOu FOR COMING, SIR.
I’vE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.
(He gestures for his guest to sit and then follows suit.)
I’M ALLERGIC TO CATS.
THAT’S PART OF THE REASON
I ASKEd TO HAvE dINNER WITH YOu
I’M ALLERGIC TO CATS.
I KNOW, IT’S HARdLY A LIFE-THREAT’NING MEdICAL HuLLABALOO
( P A U L )
SEE, WHEN I WAS BORN
THEY ExPECTEd ME LATER
SO I SPENT TWO MONTHS IN AN INCuBATOR
EvER SINCE THAT
I CAN’T BE NEAR A CAT.
I CAN TELL BY YOuR SMIRK
YOu THINK THIS IS SILLY ANd BORdERLINE PHOBIC PERHAPS
BuT THIS INNOCENT quIRK
CAN CAuSE SuCH A vIOLENT REACTION
MY LuNG COuLd COLLAPSE
SO BEAR WITH ME, SIR.
THIS IS NOTHING SORdId
YOuR PATIENCE, I PROMISE, WILL BE REWARdEd.
I’M REALLY NOT BATS
JuST ALLERGIC TO CATS
BuT JuLIE, JuLIE LOvES CATS
AS YOu KNOW, THEY’RE HER PASSION ANd JOY SHE KNITS THEM WOOL SWEATERS
ANd CROCHETS THEM HATS
FOR THEIR BIRTHdAYS SHE SEWS THEM THEIR OWN SPECIAL TOY.
THERE’S MEOWSER, MISS MEW, COOKIEPuSS, ALExANdER
HER COuCH IS A PLAYGROuNd OF PEE ANd dANdER
SO I COuGH ANd I WHEEzE, POP A FISTFuL OF CLARITIN d’S, TRY TO HIdE BEFORE ANYONE SEES
I’M ALLERGIC TO CATS.
( P A U L )
FOR OvER A YEAR,
I’vE HIddEN FROM JuLIE
EACH ANAPHYLACTIC dISPLAY.
CAuSE SHE’S SuCH A dEAR, IF SHE KNEW HOW CATS MAKE ME SuFFER SHE’d GIvE THEM AWAY.
BuT SHE IS MY WORLd
I LIvE FOR HER. TRuLY.
JuLIE LOvES CATS,
ANd I LOvE JuLIE
SO SHE TICKLES THEIR TOES
ANd I SMILE AS MY THROAT STARTS TO CLOSE
BuT I vOW THAT SHE’LL NEvER SuPPOSE I’M ALLERGIC TO CATS.
WELL, dOCTOR O’HARA,
I FEAR THAT I’vE BuRIEd THE HEAdLINE.
THE POINT OF THIS STORY IS MuRKY
I HAvE TO CONCEdE
I HOPE THAT I’vE SHOWN YOu TONIGHT, (He stands)
I LOvE YOuR dAuGHTER WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.
SO HuMBLY I STANd,
ASKING YOu FOR HER MARITAL HANd
WEddEd LIFE WILL BE BLISSFuL ANd GRANd.
WITH JuLIE, ANd MEOWSER, MISS MEW, COOKIEPuSS, ALExANdER, THE dANdER, THE PEE ANd ME!
Achoo!
(frantically running downstage)
He made me a cake.
The boy I love made me a cake. With his own two hands. I don’t have a technique for a cake
I have a technique for a door You can open a door with your elbows (she demonstrates)
The right fabric and a little pressure and you ’ re good Silk doesn’t work No friction
I developed the technique in public bathrooms I had no choice I’d wash my hands, dry them, go to the door, grab the handle
(she cringes)
And wash them again.
Wash, dry, door, wash, dry, door, wash, dry You get it.
It’s called a ‘handle’ because others have ‘handled’ it.
With their hands.
Hands that have been—I have no control over where those hands have been! That’s why I have the elbow technique.
(another demonstration)
See, the boy I love made me a cake with his hands.
I don’t have a technique for a cake!
(ADAM runs downstage staring dreamily into the distance and clutching a notebook. He shakes himself and reads from the book.)
A D A M
(with certainty)
The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter is known as pi. Pi equals three point one four
(staring dreamily into the distance)
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
SHE WILL dANCE WITH ME TILL dAWN
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
I CAN HOLd HER IN MY ARMS
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
Puh
(shaking this off and returning to his book)
ROSES ARE FOOLISH
dANCING’S A BORE.
LOvE IS A CONCEPT THAT WISE MEN IGNORE
NuMBERS ARE PERFECT, LIKE PI EquALS THREE POINT ONE FOuR
dREAMS ARE uNSTABLE. AWAKEN, THEY’RE GONE AN uNSCIENTIFIC PHENOMENON.
NuMBERS ARE CERTAIN
LIKE PI IS THREE POINT ONE FOuR
(after further calculation) ONE
WHAT COuLd BE CLEARER
THAN PI IS THREE POINT ONE FOuR ONE
(He sits.)
# 5 a B e f o
# 6 T h e E n d O f T h e L i n e
(JENNY and SARA take center stage.)
J E N N Y
I’M JENNY.
I’M SARA
SHE’S SARA
SHE’S JEN
S A R A
J E N N Y
S A R A
B O T H
BEEN BEST FRIENdS FOREvER.
J E N N Y
WELL, SINCE WE WERE TEN.
B O T H
MET AT BALLET CLASS ANd EvER SINCE THEN WE BECAME INSEPARABLE
J E N N Y
THE dAMAGE WAS IRREPARABLE.
S A R A
JEN’S LIKE MY SISTER.
J E N N Y ANd SARA’S LIKE MINE
B O T H
FRIENdS TILL THE ENd OF THE LINE
HAd NOTHING MuCH IN COMMON.
S A R A
LOvEd HORSES.
LOvEd SHOES
J E N N Y
B O T H
BuT WE WERE ATTACHEd AT THE HIP.
S A R A
JEN WAS LIKE A GOddESS. MY MENTOR ANd MuSE.
J E N N Y
SHE WAS A NERd ANd A dRIP.
B O T H
BuT WE WOuLd BE TOGETHER
EvERY HOuR OF THE dAY PEOPLE WOuLd SEE uS ANd SAY
“IT’S JENNY, ANd SARA. TWO PEAS IN A POd ”
S A R A
WELL, IF ONE PEA WAS PERFECT.
J E N N Y
ANd ONE PEA WAS Odd.
FIRST STRING
S A R A ANd SPARE!
B O T H
ON THE vOLLEYBALL SquAd.
J E N N Y
HAPPY ANd GREGARIOuS.
S A R A
MY THRILLS WERE JuST vICARIOuS (a tepid chearleader)
Woo.
J E N N Y
SHE’d POINT THE SPOTLIGHT
That’s right!
S A R A
SHE’d BASK IN THE SHINE
B O T H
FRIENdS TILL THE ENd OF THE LINE.
J E N N Y
MY SKIN WAS JuST LIKE PORCELAIN. HERS WAS ALL zITS.
S A R A
MY PORES WERE PERPETuALLY BLOCKEd.
J E N N Y
I dEvELOPEd EARLY SHE HAd NO TITS.
S A R A
MY CuPBOARd WAS WOEFuLLY STOCKEd.
J E N N Y
WHY WOuLd I BE SEEN WITH SuCH A SOCIAL REFuGEE?
S A R A
‘CAuSE YOu ALWAYS LOOKEd GOOd NExT TO ME!
J E N N Y
B O T H
SO WE WERE JENNY, ANd SARA A vuLGAR dISPLAY.
S A R A
THE quEEN OF THE PROM
J E N N Y ANd HER WEIRd PROTéGé
I STARREd
I RAN LIGHTS
S A R A
B O T H
IN THE SCHOOL CABARET
I MEAN, HAvE YOu HEARd SARA SING?
GOOd GOLLY, IT’S EMBARRASSING (SARA sings a feeble note.)
B O T H
WE WERE CONTRARY FORCES WHO SOMEHOW COMBINE
FRIENdS TILL THE ENd OF THE LINE.
(SARA is suddenly surprised )
S A R A
THEN SOMETHING CRAzY HAPPENEd RIGHT AFTER TWELFTH GRAdE.
THAT SuMMER I BLOSSOMEd ANd BLOOMEd I STEPPEd INTO THE SuNLIGHT AFTER YEARS IN THE SHAdE
ANd A BEAuTIFuL SWAN WAS ExHuMEd (SARA has blossomed into a poised and beautiful young woman.)
J E N N Y
MEANWHILE, I WAS WORKING AT THE LOCAL dAIRY quEEN
ANd BALLOONEd uP TO PLuS-SIzE SIxTEEN
S A R A
uh Jenny
Eighteen.
It’s just so delicious.
J E N N Y
S A R A
WE BOTH SHOWEd uP AT COLLEGE ANd, NO NEEd TO PRETENd, I WAS POPuLAR RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
ANd EvERYONE WAS ASKING, “SARA, WHO IS YOuR FRIENd?
THE ONE WHO’S SO “
J E N N Y
Interesting?
#
“Fat ”
S A R A
ALL THIS MALICE AIMEd AT JENNY WAS quITE STARTLING ANd NEW.
SO I dId WHAT ALL BEST FRIENdS WOuLd dO.
(For a moment she considers how to proceed )
I SAId, I’M SARA. SHE’S JENNY. ( then decides.)
WE uSEd TO BE CLOSE. NOW SHE’S dESPERATE, ANd CLINGY, ANd SORT OF MOROSE
I HEARd SHE GOBBLES
PEANuT BuSTER PARFAITS BY THE GROSS IN ALL THE WORLd IS THERE A SIGHT MORE TRAGIC THAN THIS PARASITE?
B O T H
SO THAT IS OuR STORY ANd AIN’T IT dIvINE!
FRIENdS TILL THE ENd OF THE
THE COLd BITTER ENd. S A
I GuESS
THIS IS THE ENd OF THE LINE
Person A leaves home at age eighteen and walks west against the rotation of the earth at a rate of three miles per hour If she continues to walk in a straight line, how old will she be when she returns home? P A U L
Person B leaves home at a rate of “ can’t-get-out-of-here-fast-enough.” How massive a force will it take to change person B’s trajectory?
Person C is standing still If two equal but opposing forces are applied to person C, one external and one internal,
—which one will he succumb to?
# 7 G r e a t E x p e c t a t i o n s
(CATHERINE tentatively steps forward )
C A T H E R I N E
MY PARENTS WERE IMMIGRANTS NEW TO THESE SHORES
WHEN THEY WERE JuST BARELY EIGHTEEN.
THEY STRuGGLEd ANd SACRIFICEd, POuNdEd ON dOORS,
TO CARvE OuT THE LIFE THEY’d FORESEEN
THEY FASHIONEd THAT LIFE OuT OF HOPE ANd THIN AIR. A LIFE FOR THE dAuGHTER THEY SOMEdAY WOuLd SHARE
I AM THAT dAuGHTER.
ETERNALLY GRATEFuL FOR ALL THAT THEY GAvE uP FOR ME (MIKE joins her.)
M I K E
I BELONG TO A LONG LINE OF MEN. ALL ELECTRICIANS BY TRAdE
MY GRANdFATHER FIRST. MY FATHER THEN. SO PROud OF THE BuSINESS THEY MAdE
A MANTEL IS CLAIMEd. A TORCH WILL BE PASSEd. MAKING A FAMILY LEGACY LAST
SO HERE I STANd WITH MY FuTuRE ORdAINEd ANd A LIFE THAT IS PLANNEd OuT FOR ME
—
OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS GREAT ExPECTATIONS
OH OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS OF ME
HA OOM.
HA OOM
HA OOM
C A T H E R I N E
THROuGH ALL OF THEIR HARdSHIPS
ANd Ev’RY LEAN YEAR, MY PARENTS COuLd SEE THEIR REWARd.
THEIR dAuGHTER’S dEGREE
ANd THEIR dAuGHTER’S CAREER, ANd Ev’RYTHING THAT CAN AFFORd
M I K E
I HAvE A ROAd THAT’S LAId OuT FOR ME. WON FOR ME.
NO STRuGGLE I SEE
THE TROuBLE FOR ME IS THE LIFE THAT THEY FLAuNT IS LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM THE LIFE THAT I WANT.
SO I PLANT A FLAG BECAuSE I NEEd
A PIECE OF THE WORLd I CAN CLAIM FOR MYSELF.
OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS GREAT ExPECTATIONS
OH OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS OF ME.
G
I’M MY OWN PERSON WITH HOPES ANd dESIRES, A FuTuRE THAT I ENGINEER.
G
I HAvE A PASSION THAT YEARNS ANd ASPIRES. A vISION SO FOCuSSEd ANd CLEAR.
C
ANd dOuBTLESS I’LL STuMBLE
ANd MAKE MY MISTAKES
BuT IT’S TIME I MAdE CHOICES
IT’S TIME THAT I SCREAMEd
dON’T WANT THE dREAM I WAS GIvEN
I WANT THE dREAM THAT I dREAMEd
OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS GREAT ExPECTATIONS
OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS. GREAT ExPECTATIONS.
OH OH OH OH OH,
GREAT ExPECTATIONS OF ME
GREAT ExPECTATIONS
GREAT ExPECTATIONS.
GREAT ExPECTATIONS.
GREAT ExPECTATIONS OF ME.
GREAT ExPECTATIONS
GREAT ExPECTATIONS.
GREAT ExPECTATIONS
GREAT ExPECTATIONS OF ME.
THE TERRAIN
COMPLEx
# 9 F o o t p
THERE ARE PARAdOxES HERE TO uNdO
ANd NOW RELATIvELY SPEAKING, SOMETHING’S RELATIvELY NEAR
ANd I’M RELATIvELY CERTAIN IT’S A CLuE.
(RYAN confidently takes the stage )
SO YOu’RE CRuISING ALONG AT COLLEGE, FIRST SEMESTER WINdING dOWN,
ANd YOu’RE FINALLY OvER “FIRST SEMESTER SHOCK”
NOW THE HOLIdAYS ARE APPROACHING,
SO IT’S BACK TO YOuR OLd TOWN.
BACK TO SOLId GROuNd
YOuR FAMILY
YOuR ROCK.
YEAH, THERE’S NOTHING LIKE HEAdING HOMEWARd TO CLEAR THE MENTAL FOG.
THE PHOTOGRAPHS IN YOuR MEM’RY NEvER BLuR
SO YOu’RE THINKING ABOuT YOuR PARENTS, YOuR SISTER BETH ANd SPIKE, YOuR dOG.
THEY’RE FROzEN IN YOuR HEAd THE WAY THEY WERE
‘CAuSE THERE’S A FOOTPRINT YOu LEFT THERE, INdELIBLE ANd dEEP
IT’S THE CORE OF YOuR IdENTITY, THE PRINCIPLES YOu KEEP.
YOuR FOOTPRINT YOuR HISTORY
IT’S WHO YOu ARE.
SO YOu RuN TO HuG YOuR PARENTS, ANd BETH CALLS YOu A GEEK,
ANd WHEN YOu YELL FOR SPIKE, YOuR dAd SAYS, “SON, WE HAd TO PuT HIM dOWN LAST WEEK ”
(He takes a moment to absorb this and tries to shake it off.)
( R Y A N )
SO YOu FINd YOuRSELF BACK AT COLLEGE.
KINd OF SHAKEN, BuT OKAY
ANd YOu’RE quICKLY SWEPT uP AGAIN BY FRESHMAN YEAR.
THERE’S YOuR ROOMMATE WHO HOGS THE BATHROOM, A NEW PAPER duE EACH dAY,
ANd YOuR PART TIME JOB AS A CAMPuS STORE CASHIER.
THEN IT’S SuddENLY SPRING vACATION,
ANd IT’S HOME YOu GO ONCE MORE.
ANd IT’S HARd TO BELIEvE THAT MONTHS HAvE COME ANd GONE.
YOu SEE THAT FAMILIAR dRIvEWAY
ANd YOu OPEN THAT FRONT dOOR
WITH THAT OvERWHELMING FEELING COMING ON.
THERE’S A FOOTPRINT YOu LEFT HERE, PERMANENT ANd REAL.
IT’S YOuR CONSTANT YOuR ANCHOR
uNBENdABLE, LIKE STEEL.
YOuR FOOTPRINT YOuR HISTORY
IT’S WHO YOu ARE.
ANd THE PLACE LOOKS SO INvITING.
IT’S Ev’RYTHING YOu’d HOPEd
YOu ASK, “WHERE’S MY SISTER?”
YOuR MOM SAYS, “dEAR BETH ANd HER BOYFRIENd ELOPEd.”
(Another moment of shock and another attempt to recover from the surprise.)
YOu’d LIKE TO THINK YOu’RE ENLIGHTENEd.
YOu LIKE TO BELIEvE THAT YOu’RE FLExIBLE ANd COOL SuRE, THINGS WILL CHANGE WHILE YOu’RE AWAY AT SCHOOL
BuT YOu WORRY THE FOuNdATION YOu’vE BEEN ROOTEd TO SO LONG IS SOMEHOW LESS dEPENdABLE, IS SuddENLY LESS STRONG
AT LEAST YOu’RE NOT LIKE A TAdPOLE, ONE OF THREE THOuSANd EGGS HIS MOM uNLOAdS WHO NEvER GETS TO KNOW HIS PARENT TOAdS.
(recognizing the ridiculousness of this simile)
( R Y A N )
YEAH, AT LEAST YOu’RE NOT LIKE THAT NO, YOu’vE STILL GOT YOuR FOOTPRINT ON THAT THREAdBARE WELCOME MAT.
ANd A PLACE TO HANG YOuR HAT
SO YOuR LIFE HuMS ALONG AT COLLEGE ANd YOuR WORRIES SLOWLY dIM
OPPORTuNITIES TO GO HOME BECOME MORE RARE.
YOu HEAR YOuR MOM HAS A BRANd NEW HAIRdO, ANd YOuR BEdROOM’S NOW A GYM.
YOuR dAd BOuGHT A vINTAGE CHEvROLET BEL AIR
THEN YOuR SOPH’MORE ANd JuNIOR CLASSES
dISAPPEAR BEFORE YOuR EYES
ANd YOu’RE THINKING ABOuT A LIFE BEYONd THESE dOORS.
YOuR OLd ROOMMATE IS NOW YOuR BEST FRIENd
YOuR LATEST PAPER WON A PRIzE
YOu NOW MANAGE ALL THE COLLEGE CAMPuS STORES.
STILL THERE’S A FOOTPRINT
YOu CLING TO.
IT’S SOMETHING YOu CAN’T SHAKE
A NEEd THAT WON’T dIMINISH. A BONd THAT WILL NOT BREAK
YOuR FOOTPRINT. YOuR HISTORY.
IT’S WHO YOu ARE
ANd HOME’S A PLACE OF COMFORT
WHERE NOTHING’S EvER FORCEd
THEN OvER dINNER WITH YOuR PARENTS, THEY TELL YOu THEY’RE GETTING dIvORCEd.
(He calmly absorbs this information )
THEN YOu HAvE A CALM REvELATION, THERE AS YOuR WORLd SEEMS TO BLOW uP IN YOuR FACE
YOu SEE THAT FOOTPRINTS dON’T BELONG IN JuST ONE PLACE. THEY’RE IN THE LIFE YOu’vE LEd
BuT THEY’RE NOT FIRMLY ROOTEd, THEY WILL MuLTIPLY ANd SPREAd.
ON THE PATH THAT LIES AHEAd
( R Y A N )
YES, YOuR FOOTPRINT GOES WITH YOu
IT’S SOMETHING YOu dON’T LOSE.
FROM THE FAM’LY YOu WERE BORN WITH, TO THE FAM’LY THAT YOu CHOOSE
YOuR FOOTPRINT YOuR HISTORY
IT’S WHO YOu ARE
ANd THE uNIvERSE GETS LARGER,
ANd THE COSMOS WILL ExPANd BuT ONE THING NEvER CHANGES
YOuR FOOTPRINT IS RIGHT WHERE YOu STANd
# 1 0 C a k e ( P a r t 2 )
(even more frantic than the last time)
He made me a cake!
You have to understand. It’s been a natural progression from bathroom doors to all doors.
And windows.
And books.
And telephones.
And subway poles, and elevator buttons, and steering wheels, and chair arms, and pens and pencils and cutlery and glasses and plates and food.
Food
Oh God food!
Who has touched the food? Handled the food? I can’t eat anything unless I make it myself. He should know better. He’s seen the elbow technique. (a quick and aggressive elbow technique demonstration)
But he made me a cake. With his hands.
I don’t have a technique for a cake!
# 1 1 P i ( P a r t 2 )
(ADAM runs downstage staring dreamily into the distance and clutching a notebook, just as before. Again, he shakes himself and turns to the book but the object of his affection is too compelling. He turns away from the book.)
A D A M
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
I WILL SMELL HER SWEET PERFuME
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
SHE WILL GAzE INTO MY EYES.
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
FLOWERS WILL SHRIvEL. EquATIONS WILL THRIvE OLd ARCHIMEdES
KEPT THIS ONE ALIvE.
(reading from his book)
HE SAId THAT PI IS ALWAYS THREE POINT ONE FOuR ONE
(a bit surprised after further calculation)
FIvE.
CHAOS ANd ORdER CAN NEvER COMBINE. IT’S FAR TOO RISKY WHEN LIvES INTERTWINE
THERE’S SAFETY IN NuMBERS, LIKE THREE POINT ONE FOuR ONE FIvE
(another calculation)
NINE
SOME THINGS YOu COuNT ON
LIKE THREE POINT ONE FOuR ONE FIvE NINE.
(He sits )
(The CAST creates a busy Manhattan street. ANTHONY and JENNY struggle through the crowd. All but ANTHONY and JENNY freeze as ANTHONY speaks.)
Person A is walking at a rate of four point five miles per hour
Person B is walking at a rate of five miles per hour
Person A is moving with the general flow of traffic
Person B is moving directly against traffic
B is in the direct path of person
Person A is in my way
Person B’s pace increases to five point five miles per hour
Person A is gonna have to move.
Person A attempts eye contact with Person B.
(with Manhattan confidence)
Eye contact indicates submission Must avoid it at all cost Person A must step aside.
(suddenly smitten)
Person B’s eyes are green.
Eye contact avoided. Power status established.
She looks so confident.
Pushover.
A thought hangs on her lips
(sudden panic)
I forgot to put on lipstick.
She reaches in her bag.
I hate this color.
She removes the top.
(sneering at the lipstick name)
Cranberry Kiss.
Her pace quickens with the thump of my heart.
Why do I even have this color?
With delicate fingers, she lifts the red, moist stick to her lips.
Applying lipstick on a crowded sidewalk. What could possibly go wrong?
At this rate Person A and Person B will make contact in four seconds.
Out of my way, honey.
I’ll be a gentleman and step aside. (He does )
Closing the gap, fella.
But not too far. My arm and hers will gently brush.
(Their arms touch and ANTHONY’s fantasy meeting plays out. The OTHERS break from their freeze and watch the fantasy )
She’ll turn with an apologetic glance. (She does.)
“My fault,” I’ll say. (He looks down.)
The lipstick has fallen (The OTHERS look down too.)
We’ll bend to pick it up (They do.)
Nose to nose
(They are.)
“Allow me. ”
(He gently lifts the imaginary lipstick )
I will lift the delicate silver cylinder from the concrete.
( and offers it to her.)
“I believe this is yours. ”
(in her voice as she mouths the words)
“Well, I hope it’s not yours. ”
(returning to his own voice)
She’ll toss her hair. (She tosses her hair playfully.)
We’ll laugh. (She mimes laughing.)
“Ha ha ha ”
(She reaches for the lipstick.)
Our fingers will touch
(Their fingers touch. They are magnetically drawn to each other and almost kiss but the fantasy is abruptly shattered as reality intervenes )
(with renewed aggression)
Coming through.
One small step to the left and this moment is mine.
That’s right! You move.
Just one small step.
(He steps to the left )
damn. A post.
It’s me or the post, kid.
It’s her or the post. Gotta shift right.
(He steps quickly to the right )
(still applying lipstick)
What are you doing?
Collision imminent.
Get out of the way!
(They collide Her hand drags her lipstick across her cheek )
Sorry!
dammit!
(Panicked this is not as he imagined to her .)
I’m sorry. It’s my fault.
(to him)
Asshole.
(She walks away. He gamely attempts to recreate the fantasy)
You dropped your lipstick.
Keep it.
Person B continues on her path pace increasing.
Person A can’t move.
(He watches her go.)
SHE IS MY WORLd I LIvE FOR HER, TRuLY.
WE WERE CONTRARY FORCES WHO SOMEHOW COMBINE.
He made me a cake. The boy I love made me a cake.
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE SHE WILL dANCE WITH ME TILL dAWN.
I WANT THE dREAM THAT I dREAMEd.
With his hands!
FROM THE FAM’LY YOu WERE BORN WITH TO THE FAM’LY THAT YOu CHOOSE.
# 1 3 A
I REACH FOR YOuR HANd ANd HOLd TIGHT
I NEvER REALLY LIKEd APPLES.
THOuGH HEAvEN KNOWS I TRIEd
CAuSE IT’S JuST WEIRd TO HATE APPLES.
SO FOR YEARS ANd YEARS I LIEd.
I NEvER REALLY LIKEd APPLES.
IT’S NOT A CHOICE, PER SE.
I dON’T KNOW WHY
I GuESS THAT I WAS SIMPLY BORN THIS WAY.
I NEvER REALLY LIKEd APPLES. THOuGH I GREW uP IN SPOKANE, WHERE ALL THEY’vE dONE IS GROW APPLES SINCE THE dAY THE WORLd BEGAN.
SO I HId MY FEELINGS FOR APPLES
IT’S A SKILL I LEARNEd TO HONE.
ANd AS I GREW,
I GuESS I KNEW I’d ALWAYS BE ALONE.
BuT I’vE ALWAYS LIKEd ORANGES FROM MY EARLIEST MEMORIES.
EvEN THOuGH THERE’S NO ORANGE TREES IN WASHINGTON STATE
BuT STILL I LIKEd ORANGES. IT’S AN uRGE I WAS SHY TO AdMIT TO ME, APPLES WERE APPLES, BuT ORANGES WERE IT.
WELL, I LEFT HOME ANd THE APPLES
I HAd PASSIONS TO PuRSuE
I STARTEd MY OWN AdvENTuRE ANd ENROLLEd AT NYu
I WAS SHY ANd MINdEd MY BuSINESS. THEN I MET MIKE ONE dAY
HE SEEMEd SO NICE,
SO I BROKE THE ICE
ANd FOuNd THE NERvE TO SAY:
“I’vE ALWAYS LIKEd ORANGES.”
CRAP! WHAT A STRANGE CONvERSATION START
HE SAId,
“dudE, HERE’S THE STRANGEST PART, I LIKE ORANGES TOO.”
WE’RE TWO GuYS WHO LIKE ORANGES WHO WERE SENT A CLEAR MESSAGE BY FATE: WE dON’T HAvE TO LIKE APPLES ORANGES ARE GREAT.
THAT MOMENT LEFT quITE AN IMPRESSION THAT MOMENT A LIGHTBuLB WENT OFF.
I REMEMBEREd THE YEARS OF REPRESSION
ANd MY WORRIES THAT PEOPLE WOuLd SCOFF
ALL THOSE TIMES THAT I’d TRIEd LIKING APPLES SEEMEd AT ONCE LIKE A MEANINGLESS WASTE
ANd I LEARNEd THERE WITH MIKE
THAT YOu LIKE WHAT YOu LIKE
ANd THERE’S JuST NO ACCOuNTING FOR TASTE
NOW WE’RE PROud TO LIKE ORANGES
ANd WE WALK WITH OuR HEAdS HELd HIGH
BECAuSE I FOuNd ANOTHER GuY WHO LOvES THE THINGS THAT I LOvE
ANd SO dId I
WE BOTH LOvE ORANGES.
HE’S SO HANdSOME.
ANd HE’S AWFuLLY CuTE
IF YOu’RE LOOKING FOR MORALS, WE’LL GIvE IT A SHOT:
THERE ARE THOSE WHO LIKE APPLES ANd THOSE WHO dO NOT.
SO WHATEvER YOuR PREFERENCE, EMBRACE WHAT YOu’vE GOT.
IT’S A BIG WORLd FINd YOuR FAvORITE FRuIT
# 1 4 M e & R i c k y
I MET RICKY
SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. HE’d MOvEd FROM SEATTLE THAT FALL IN SCHOOL I WAS INvISIBLE BuT RICKY CHANGEd ALL THAT.
WE STARTEd dATING ANd I’M NOT OvERSTATING WHEN I SAY WE WERE PERFECTLY MATCHEd
( C A R O L I N E )
IN THE CLASSROOMS ANd HALLWAYS
IT WAS ME ANd RICKY ALWAYS PERMANENTLY ATTACHEd.
(SARA, JENNY and CATHERINE join as backup singers )
ANd IT WAS ME ANd RICKY
Ev’RY LuNCH HOuR, HOLdING HANdS IN THE CAF
ME ANd RICKY
MOCKING THE TEACHERS.
YOu SHOuLd HAvE HEARd uS LAuGH
ME ANd RICKY
HOT ANd STICKY
AT THE BACK OF THE BuS.
I KNEW IF THINGS GOT TRICKY FOR ME ANd RICKY, WE WOuLd ALWAYS HAvE uS.
BEFORE RICKY
I’d NEvER HAd A BOYFRIENd.
GuYS JuST NEvER SAW ME THAT WAY.
SO WHEN RICKY SET HIS EYES ON ME WELL, I FELL FAST ANd HARd.
IF RICKY BECKONEd, I’d BE THERE IN A SECONd.
C A R O L I N E & S A R A
FOR HIM I CHANGEd MY WARdROBE ANd HAIR
C A R O L I N E MY FRIENdS THEY WERE WARY, FOuNd RICKY KINdA SCARY, BuT THEY WERE JEALOuS, I’d SWEAR.
ANd IT WAS ME ANd RICKY
CuTTING CLASSES, GETTING HIGH IN THE JOHN
( C A R O L I N E )
ME ANd RICKY
STuCK IN dETENTION
TRYING NOT TO LET ON.
ME ANd RICKY
GRABBING A quICKIE
‘ROuNd THE BACK OF THE GYM THERE WAS PANTING
ANd FRENCHING
ANd NEEdS THAT NEEdEd quENCHING
ANd JESuS I NEEdEd HIM.
PEOPLE TOLd ME THAT RICKY WAS BAd NEWS
B A C K U P S
BAd NEWS!
C A R O L I N E
THEY SAId, dITCH HIM ANd RuN.
B A C K U P S
RuN!
C A R O L I N E
FAR TOO OFTEN GOOd WOMEN THROW THEIR LIvES AFTER MEN
B A C K U P S
I’M NOTHING WITHOuT YOu
C A R O L I N E
BuT, RICKY TOLd ME THAT I WAS WHO HE LIvEd FOR.
C A R O L I N E & B A C K U P S
HE SAId I WAS THE ONE.
C A R O L I N E
ANd RICKY, HE LOvEd ME
HE SAId THAT HE LOvEd ME.
SO I LET HIM LOvE ME AGAIN, ANd AGAIN,
C A R O L I N E & B A C K U P S
ANd AGAIN, ANd AGAIN, ANd AGAIN, ANd AGAIN!
(She is now completely emotionally naked.)
RICKY LEFT ME
IN FACT HE LEFT COMPLETELY
I WOKE uP ONE dAY, HE WAS GONE. TOOK MY WALLET, MY LAPTOP, MY JEWELRY, MY PHONE, ANd MY dREAMS
TO PROvE THAT HE WAS HERE, RICKY LEFT A SOuvENIR, A LITTLE GIFT THAT CAN’T BE RETuRNEd.
FOR ONCE I WAS CLEvER, GOT RId OF HIM FOREvER.
LESSON PAINFuLLY LEARNEd
(She composes herself.)
ANd NOW THERE’S NO MORE RICKY NO MORE REMINdER NO MORE LIFE LAId TO WASTE.
NO MORE RICKY
ONE SIMPLE PROCEduRE, ANd NOW THAT MEM’RY’S ERASEd.
NOW I’M PICKY
WITH GuYS I MEET LIKE RICKY. NOW I’LL MAKE A NEW START
THEY CAN HuG ME ANd SquEEzE ME, dO Ev’RYTHING TO PLEASE ME OR CuT ME, ANd uSE ME, ANd MENTALLY ABuSE ME.
THEY CAN THINK THEY’RE CONNECTEd, BuT I’LL ALWAYS BE PROTECTEd
CAuSE, THEY’LL NEvER ENTER MY HEART.
RICKY LEFT WITH THAT PART
# 1 5 P r o m i s e M e T h i s
M I R A
MY MOM ANd I WERE ALWAYS CLOSE
I WAS AN ONLY CHILd
SEE, MOM HAd LOST THREE OTHERS BEFORE IT CLICKEd WITH ME
SHE CALLEd ME HER MIRACLE. MIRA, FOR SHORT ANd THE LOvE IN HER WAS BIGGER THAN THE SEA.
ANd SHE’d SAY, “PROMISE ME THIS, MIRA, ENJOY YOuR TIME ON EARTH ALWAYS APPRECIATE THE WONdER OF YOuR BIRTH.”
“PROMISE ME THIS, MIRA, dON’T WASTE A SINGLE dAY.
BEFORE YOu KNOW IT dEAR, IT ALL CAN FAdE AWAY ”
WE LIvEd A MEAGER LIFE
BuT ME, I dIdN’T REALLY CARE
WHEN YOu’RE uSEd TO HAvING NOTHING, YOu dON’T MISS THE THINGS YOu LACK
ANd dAd WAS A dRINKER. COuLd NOT HOLd A JOB
THEN ONE dAY HE LEFT
ANd NEvER CAME BACK.
ANd MOM SAId, “PROMISE ME THIS, MIRA. NEvER MAKE A FuSS YOuR FATHER’S JOuRNEY IS SOMEWHERE WITHOuT uS.”
( M I R A )
“PROMISE ME THIS, MIRA
dON’T EvER MISS HIS TOuCH
IT ONLY MEANS
I GET TO LOvE YOu TWICE AS MuCH ”
MOM SAW NO LIMITATION OF dREAMS FOR ME. BuT SHE KNEW A GOOd EduCATION WOuLd BE THE KEY
SO, I STudIEd HARd. WHEN I GOT LOST, MOM ENCOuRAGEd ME
THEN IN TIME I WON A SCHOLARSHIP
TO THE COLLEGE OF MY CHOICE.
MOM WAS SO PROud OF ME
SHE BuRST AT THE SEAMS.
WHEN SHE SPOKE, I HEARd THE PASSION IN HER vOICE
SHE SAId, “PROMISE ME THIS, MIRA, dON’T EvER LOOK BEHINd.
YOu’vE GOT A CHANCE RIGHT NOW, THE FuTuRE’S YOuRS TO FINd.”
“PROMISE ME THIS, MIRA, dON’T WASTE A SINGLE dAY.
BEFORE YOu KNOW IT dEAR, IT ALL CAN FAdE AWAY ”
A FEW dAYS LATER MAMA FELL
ANd dROPPEd HER GROCERIES
BuT INSIdE WE BOTH KNEW
THAT SOMETHING MORE WAS GOING ON
I PRAYEd FOR A MIRACLE
I CRIEd MYSELF dRY
BuT SIx WEEKS LATER MAMA WAS GONE
( M I R A )
NOW ANd THEN I THINK ABOuT THE THINGS THAT MAMA MISSEd BuT INSTEAd OF TEARS, MY HEART BEGINS TO STIR
CAuSE SHE’S THE ONE WHO MAdE ME SEE THAT MIRACLES ExIST. SO I JuST SMILE ANd WHISPER THIS TO HER
I PROMISE YOu THIS MAMA, I WILL MAKE IT THROuGH
CAuSE NOW I uNdERSTANd
THE MIRACLE WAS YOu.
I PROMISE YOu THIS MAMA, I WON’T WASTE A SINGLE dAY. ANd MY MIRACLE WILL NEvER FAdE AWAY
# 1 6 C a k e ( P a r t 3 )
(desperately frantic)
You can’t make a cake without touching the eggs and the flour and the sugar and the cocoa and baking soda and salt and vanilla He had to touch the whisk and the sifter or whatever. He had to touch the spoon to mix the dry into the wet. And the scraper to scrape it into the pan. He touched the pan!! And the toothpick to prick it to see if comes out clean. If he even used a toothpick. Aaaaaagh!
So much touching! He touched EvERYTHING! With his hands! ANd I dON’T KNOW WHERE THOSE HANdS HAvE BEEN!! I don’t know where his hands have been!
His hands
His hands
His hands that touch my hair.
His hands that touch my face.
His soft hands
His warm hands
His hands that hold mine
I know where they’ve been. They’ve been in my hands.
I love those hands.
I love him.
He made me a cake. With eggs and flour and sugar and cocoa and baking soda and salt and vanilla He whisked and sifted and spooned and scraped and pricked it with a toothpick.
The boy I love is in the next room. And he made me a cake. With his own two hands. I am going to open that door and I am going have some cake.
(She starts to exit and stops. She mimes opening a door with her elbows and exits with confidence.)
# 1 6 a P i ( P a r t 2 1 / 2 )
(ADAM considers speaking but doesn’t )
# 1 7 J u l i e ’ s S o n g
OKAY, LISTEN MY FRIENdS
I’vE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.
JuST GATHER ‘ROuNd I PROMISE LATER WE’LL PLAY
I HAvE TO ExPLAIN THINGS WILL NOT BE THE WAY THAT THEY‘vE BEEN THINGS ARE CHANGING FOR GOOd ANd IT’S TIME THAT I FILLEd YOu ALL IN
YOu SEE, uP uNTIL NOW
IT’S BEEN ONLY uS FIvE
BuT I THINK WE ALL KNEW THAT THIS dAY WOuLd ARRIvE.
( J U L I E )
HE’S OFFEREd HIS HEART TO ME ANd FOR ONCE I’vE CHOSEN, YES!
I LOvE HIM, BuT THAT dOESN’T MEAN I LOvE YOu ANY LESS
YOu’LL ALWAYS BE SPECIAL TO ME. YOu’LL ALWAYS BE MY MAIN OBSESSION
YOu MuST uNdERSTANd
THAT OuR BONd WON’T dIMINISH AT ALL.
BuT FOR THIS PLAN TO SuCCEEd THERE MuST BE THE Odd SACRIFICE ANd CONCESSION.
ANd I HOPE YOu CAN START TO MAKE ROOM IN YOuR HEART FOR YOuR BEST GIRLFRIENd JuLIE PLuS PAuL.
SuRE, YOu MIGHT SAY THAT HE’S NOT ExACTLY A PRIzE.
THERE’S THAT NASALLY vOICE
ANd THOSE WATERING EYES
HE RuNS FROM THE ROOM, HOLdS HIS THROAT, ANd THEN CRIES IN THE YARd
HE’S JuST SENSITIvE.
IT’S SOMETHING YOu’LL LEARN TO JuST dISREGARd
YOu SAY THAT FRIENdS ALWAYS GET LEFT BEHINd. IT’S THE FRIENdS WHO GET HuRT ANd GROW BITTER
BuT I SAY, IN THIS CASE MY FRIENdS YOu’RE RESPECTFuLLY WRONG.
YOu SAY, HE’S REALLY NOT ONE OF OuR KINd THAT HE’S HARdLY THE PICK OF THE LITTER. LOOK, dON’T JudGE HIM LIKE THAT HE’S A REAL PuSSYCAT
CAN’T WE ALL LEARN TO JuST GET ALONG?
( J U L I E )
HE MAY SNIFFLE A LOT
HE MAY BREAK OuT IN HIvES
BuT LIKE IT OR NOT
HE’S NOW PART OF YOuR LIvES
IN SPITE OF ALL OBSTACLES
TRuE LOvE SuRvIvES, WAIT ANd SEE.
THIS IS FOOLISH, I KNOW
THIS IS SILLY, IT’S TRuE.
BuT I GuESS WHAT I’d LIKE IS A BLESSING FROM YOu
ALExANdER, MEOWSER, COOKIEPuSS, ANd MISS MEW
ANd WE’LL BE
ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY
YOu FOuR ANd PAuL, MY FIANCé, ANd ME
# 1 8 P i ( P a r t 3 )
LOvE’S AN ILLuSION.
INEFFABLE BLINd
NuMBERS ARE STRuCTuREd. FINITE. CONFINEd.
EquATIONS LIKE PI ARE ALWAYS PRECISELY dEFINEd.
ANd NOT SOME FRIvOLOuS, MISGuIdEd NOTION LIKE
HOW MY LIFE COuLd CHANGE FOR THE SAKE OF JuST ONE FLOWER (A ROSE, IS A ROSE, IS A ROSE, IS A ROSE.)
( A D A M )
IT COuLd BE WONdERFuL ANd STRANGE dANCING BY THE HOuR
(A-ONE TWO THREE, ONE TWO THREE, ONE TWO THREE, ONE TWO.)
ANd COuLd IT BE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TWO THINGS ARE MORE THAN RATIOS?
ANd SO MuCH MORE THAN ONE REd ROSE? WHO KNOWS?
NuMBERS ARE SOLId dEPENdABLE TRuE
IT’S AMAzING WHAT SIMPLE MATH’MATICS CAN dO
A ROSE EquALS A dANCE, (gradually succumbing to the romance)
ANd A TOuCH, ANd A SMELL, ANd A GAzE, ANd THE HOPE OF SOMETHING NEW (firmly returning to his calculation)
BuT PI IS ExACTLY
THREE POINT ONE FOuR ONE FIvE NINE
TWO SIx
FIvE THREE FIvE
EIGHT
#
NINE SEvEN
NINE THREE TWO THREE EIGHT
(overlapping ADAM)
LIGHT AS IT SPEEdS
LIGHT AS IT SHIMMERS
LIGHT AS IT PIERCES THE SKY.
AAAAAAH
IF I BRING HER ONE REd ROSE
SOMETHING AWAKES. IT TREMBLES ANd SIMMERS G
A FORCE THAT IS YEARNING TO
A FORCE THAT IS YEARNING TO
A FORCE THAT IS YEARNING TO
A cappella and percussion sequence an unspoken expression of community, each actor being affected by the others Each character expresses a signature sound or theme, which is gradually picked up by the rest of the company until it builds to a climactic, a cappella mash-up
THERE YOu ARE
ORdERING YOuR COFFEE
HERE I AM
THREE PEOPLE BEHINd
YOu THE SuBJECT
ME THE OBSERvER.
ME ENTHRALLEd
YOu BLISSFuLLY BLINd
THERE YOu ARE
FuMBLING WITH YOuR WALLET
I’M A STRANGER
STANdING IN LINE
THEN YOu SMILE
ANd FLOAT T’WARd THE ExIT.
JuST LIKE THAT
THE ROOM STARTS TO SHINE
THE MOMENT COMES
OuR MOMENT NEAR
THEN SuddENLY YOu dISAPPEAR.
OFF TO LIvE YOuR SEP’RATE LIFE YOu GO
YOu CHANGEd ME
BuT YOu WILL NEvER KNOW.
A M Y
THERE YOu ARE.
SITTING AT THE STOPLIGHT
I’M HERE TOO,
ONE CAR TO YOuR RIGHT.
MERELY INCHES
ANd WORLdS IN BETWEEN uS
YOu MAKE SOMETHING
INSIdE ME IGNITE
R Y A N
AT THE BuS STOP.
CHECKING ON THE TIME
I’M HERE
THERE ARE MERELY INCHES
ANd WORLdS IN BETWEEN uS.
YOu MAKE SOMETHING
INSIdE ME IGNITE
( A M Y )
BRIEFLY THERE BRIEFLY SEEN.
THEN NATuRALLY, THE LIGHT TuRNS GREEN YOu LEAvE ME IN THAT IRIdESCENT GLOW. I’M dIFF’RENT BuT YOu WILL NEvER KNOW.
( R Y A N )
BRIEFLY THERE BRIEFLY SEEN.
YOu LEAvE, ANd THEN SOMEHOW I’M dIFF’RENT BuT YOu WILL NEvER KNOW.
YOu ARE PERFECT
TO ME YOu ARE PERFECT
I FILL THE BLANKS
ANd I MAKE YOu IdEAL G
YOu’RE KINd, YOu’RE GRACIOuS. LOYAL TENACIOuS
WHY SHOuLd I CARE
IF YOu’RE NOT REALLY REAL?
G
YOu POSE NO HAzzARd
G
YOu MAKE NO dEMANdS.
YOu’RE SOMEONE WHO LISTENS, SuPPORTS, uNdERSTANdS.
YOu’RE SOMEONE WHO’LL ALWAYS BE THERE
THERE YOu ARE PASSING ON THE SIdEWALK
THERE YOu ARE
REACHING FOR YOuR LuGGAGE
ENTERING A BuILdING
dRIFTING BY ME.
WAITING FOR A SHOW.
SO uNSuSPECTING, NEvER CONNECTING.
LIKE WINd dRIvEN CRYSTALS OF SNOW.
ANd YOu’LL NEvER KNOW.
YOu’LL NEvER KNOW
YOu’LL NEvER KNOW
YOu’LL NEvER KNOW
YOu’LL NEvER KNOW.
YOu’LL NEvER KNOW.
THERE YOu ARE ORdERING YOuR COFFEE.
ONCE AGAIN
YOu PuNCTuRE MY HEART
YOu STILL SMILING.
ME STILL OBSERvING
STILL A GAPING CHASM APART
I GAzE ACROSS
THE GREAT ABYSS
ANd TEETER ON THE PRECIPICE
I TAKE THE LEAP WITHOuT A NET BELOW
YOu INSPIRE ME TO FIN’LLY SAY, HELLO.
(Everyone approaches the object of his/her desire and says hello followed by a contented sigh.)
# 2 0 a P e r s o n A ( R e p r i s e )
Person A
Person B.
A is walking at a rate of three miles per hour and B is walking at a rate of two miles per hour. Their paths do not intersect. Nonetheless, does B change A’s trajectory?
I STANd HERE BESIdE YOu
ANd I LOOK IN YOuR FACE, ANd I SEE MYSELF IN YOuR EYES
# 2 1 M a n i c u r e
Hi. Sorry I’m late. I was at lunch and I got stuck in the bathroom behind this woman opening the door with her elbows
(She sits and holds out her hands.)
All right. Work your magic, Sun Yung. Keep it simple. No French tips. I don’t want to waste too much money on a blind date.
Ow. Sorry about those cuticles. I’m so stressed about this date I’ve been chewing at ‘ em like a dog
I don’t know Should I go? Should I not go?
don’t give me that look. I know what you ’ re thinking here she goes again. But this one ’ s different. This one ’ s a physics major.
( A M Y )
Or is it math?
Well, it’s something smart. I haven’t told him what I do yet. You don’t tell a physics major you ’ re studying Art History until it’s absolutely necessary.
A physics major Wow I’ve been doing some research Einstein and stuff I want to be able to talk about something tonight.
Oooh, let me practice on you. You be him. I’ll be me.
(She tosses her hair flirtatiously )
“I think it’s amazing that light travels at one hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second, don’t you?”
did I sound smart?
(Another flirtatious toss.)
“Oh yes, it’s quite a paradox that the speed of light is constant despite the speed of the observer.”
I had to look that one up.
Best I can figure it—let’s say a truck is coming at us. And Let’s say I’m running away from the truck and you ’ re running toward it I’m not sure why you ’ re running toward a speeding truck, but anyway the truck will hit you before it hits me, right?
Now, let’s say that it’s not a truck but it’s light that’s coming at us at one hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second It should hit you first, right? Just like the truck. Wrong! It’ll hit both of us at the same time.
I know!
So, that’s the kind of stuff I’m gonna be talking about tonight
Me an Art History major
And him a physics major
It’s gonna be a disaster.
That’s it. I am not going.
(She looks at the inscrutable Sun Yung for a long moment.)
( A M Y )
Oh Sun Yung, how do you stay so calm in the high pressure world of nail esthetics? How does anyone stay calm?
There’s a guy in my class we call him Mr. Golden Boy he’s got the most insane workload He takes classes all day and in his time off he manages all the campus book stores. All of them. But he’s completely zen about everything.
(As she makes reference to stories that we ’ ve heard throughout the evening, those individuals are highlighted a spotlight, a gesture and perhaps they gradually gather into a cohesive group.)
And I had a friend when I was a kid Mira she had the worst life. Her dad was a deadbeat drunk all the time He walked out when she was like eight But she was always happy. How do they do it?
Maybe I should try that zen thing. You know, choose happy. Create your own reality.
(chanting)
This date will be fine. And if it sucks like all the others, this too shall pass. Ommmmmmmm.
(After a moment she snaps out of this enthusiastically.)
Hey, that felt good. You know what? I’m gonna go.
(She looks out the window over Sun Yung’s shoulder.)
Oh, Sun Yung, you got the best view. I could watch people from this window all day Who are they? Where are they from? Where are they going? Scurry into your holes, lemmings! Oh! Check out Miss Power-Hair-I’m-doing-My-Lips-On-TheStreet-‘Cause-I’m-Too-Busy. She’s gonna run right into that guy. No. He moved. Wait. Oh my god! She just ran smack into him. She was not gonna move. It was either her or the post.
(calling to him)
Good choice, buddy. Good choice.
(Silence.)
Choices
Oh, I don’t know, Sun Yung. Should I go or not? How do you know what you ’ re gonna end up with?
( A M Y )
The last one showed all the signs of being something special great expectations, you know, until you know where he took me on our first and only date? The dairy queen. At the mall. With that cranky girl behind the counter. You’d think working around sprinkles all day you’d be happy.
And remember Mike? I made him the most amazing dinner Candle light Nice music. Oysters. I thought “this is the one. ” Then everything went south when I brought out dessert
I mean, who doesn’t like apple pie?
And I guess I’m still getting over that a-hole Ricky from a few years back. How can a guy make you feel so good and so bad at the same time?
But it’s the luck of the draw, Sun Yung You can’t win if you don’t buy a ticket I woulda sworn my friend Julie would end up old, alone, and knitting cat sweaters but she just told me over lunch she’s getting married
Oooh, I’ll send her to you to get her wedding nails done
(She softens as she considers.)
I guess if Julie can find one, so can I And this physicist seems like a good guy I mean he’s taking me out for dinner and dancing. I told him, “Show up with a red rose so I know who you are ” And he agreed! That’s kinda old school romantic, don’t you think?
You talked me into it, Sun Yung. I’m going. I’m going on a date with a physics major and we ’ re gonna have dinner and we ’ re gonna go dancing and we ’ re gonna talk about the constant nature of the speed of life
(Beat.)
did I say life? Oh, that’s funny. The speed of life. Whether you ’ re running from it or toward it, it hits you at the same time.
Well, honey, if that’s the case I might as well run straight at it.
(She pulls her hands away )
done already? Time flies when you ’ re having a nice conversation.
(She looks at her nails.)
Oh, Sun Yung, they are gorgeous. Thank you. For everything.
(She gets up to go.)
( A M Y )
All right, wish me luck. Hey, maybe I shoulda got the French tips after all.
(ADAM joins her holding a red rose She takes it and together they join the OTHERS )
# 2 2 N o t h i n g W i t h o u t Y o u
A L L
I LAuNCHEd MY BOAT ON THE WATER
I PAddLEd. I SAILEd. I MAPPEd OuT MY COuRSE WITH HuBRIS, WITH FORCE BuT THE CuRRENT PREvAILEd.
NO ONE SAId “THE WINd’S THERE TO GuIdE YOu ”
NO ONE SAId “THE WAvES ARE YOuR FRIENd.”
SO I STRuGGLEd ALONE, GETTING BATTEREd ANd BLOWN AROuNd EvERY BENd.
I, I, I, I AM NOTHING WITHOuT YOu WITHOuT YOuR BALLAST ANd LIFT, I’M LOST ANd AdRIFT ON THE SEA
I, I, I, I AM NOTHING WITHOuT YOu ANd I HOPE IT’S TRuE THAT YOu’RE NOTHING TOO WITHOuT ME
G R O U P 1
THERE I WAS GLIdING ON AIR I SPuTTEREd. I SOAREd.
I’d RISE, THEN I’d FALL, MAKE NO PROGRESS AT ALL SO MuCH WENT uNExPLOREd.
G R O U P 2
NO ONE SAId, “TAKE HEEd OF THE WEATHER ”
NO ONE SAId, “AvOId Ev’RY CLOud.”
SO I FLEW WITH NO TIES INTO TuRBuLENT SKIES
I WAS FOOLISH ANd PROud.
I, I, I, I AM NOTHING WITHOuT YOu
WITHOuT YOuR GROuNdING, YOuR ROPE
I’M uNTETHEREd ANd HOPELESSLY FREE.
I, I, I, I AM NOTHING WITHOuT YOu
ANd I HOPE IT’S TRuE
THAT YOu’RE NOTHING TOO WITHOuT ME
YOu’RE A REFLECTION OF ME.
I REvERBERATE
YOu REPLY
IF I HAvE A PuRPOSE, IF I COuNT AT ALL,
YOu ARE WHY
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
YOu MEASuRE, COMPARE, YOu MAKE ME AWARE
THAT I’M NEITHER SMALL NOR OBSCuRE.
I’M ALIvE
YOu MAKE SuRE
I, I, I, I AM NOTHING WITHOuT YOu
WHEN MYSTERIOuS FORCES ATTACK
YOu’RE MY MONEY BACK GuARANTEE.
I, I, I, I AM NOTHING WITHOuT YOu
ANd I HOPE IT’S TRuE
I HOPE IT’S TRuE
ANd I HOPE IT’S TRuE
THAT YOu’RE NOTHING TOO WITHOuT ME
(In a flash, the CAST is seen soaring freely amongst the stars. Blackout.)
(They
aware of the audience watching them.)
Andthere'syou.You.
Andthere'syou.
Andthere'syou.You.
Andthere'syou.