Niaa
June 5th , 1996
Niaa
As I crept into the bushes , I closed my eyes , holding my gun to my chest . My heart’s beating very fast and sweat is dripping down my face into m eyes . Two people were approaching my bushes and were very noticeable because they were breathing heavily . I waited for them , when they were where I wanted them , I fired , six bullets each . Three minutes later , I came out to see two young boys holding AK47’s . I giggled a bit , grabbed their guns , and put their food in my sack . I was proud of myself for winning the game of life again . When I go back to base , I was rewarded . I got to kill a traitor . He was tied to a chair and his mouth was taped shut . I smiled at the sight of his discomfort . My leader was watching me very closely . I finished him so fast that he didn’t even have time to cry out or try . My leader said that I was his “ favorite girl . “ Then he gave me an extra piece of bread to eat , so I would be full ! It was great well it’s time for meds. Be back later <3
Love , Nambia (=
June 7th , 1996 Today I had a dream about the day I became a soldier . I was in the kitchen cutting cavassa leaves when the attack happened . We thought it was the rebels , but it wasn’t . People were forced into to homes and then loud came . Later on , I found out that the rebels and the soldiers were having a war fight in my front yard . At nightfall the rebels retreated , and th4 soldiers made women care for the injured men . They called all children out of their homes and made us line up . My little brother told me he was scared . They begin picking people to form another line . My bestfriend’s brother Mali , wet his pants when he was picked along with a few others . When they were done picking from our line , another line came forth . My brother was in this line , but he wasn’t picked . They told us we were soldiers now and training had to be started before the rebels came . We had to kill someone we knew and loved , so we understood that no one but the soldiers are to be trusted . When it was my turn , I had my brother staring at me but I refused to kill him . When I did not a boy stepped in front of me and held his gun to his head , so I lifted mine to his head and shot . I snatched my brother and ran . We were lucky . That’s the reason I became a rebel …
Love , Nambia (=
June 15th , 1996 So I haven’t wrote in a while . We went on a war voyage and didn’t get back until sunset . UNICEF tried to take my little brother to get in the van . I tried to stop them and they made me get in the van also . I was very angry that I was ripped away from my family . My brother and I stole weapons from base . I don’t what they want with me . I don’t like these people . They’re to clean and pure . A couple of hours late we were at this quiet building , it was a lot of people here , kids and adults . They took us to eat in the dinner hall . Then other kids came in . My brother screamed “ RUF , “ and a boy attacked him , and in one swift motion I sliced his neck . Everyone was staring at me , but I didn’t care . I was outraged by this , so I attacked one of the boys that was standing across the table . My brother and a couple of others I knew did also . The staff broke up the brawl , but some of them were mistaken for someone else , and was hurt . We left out in white
jackets that hid our hands and chanted â&#x20AC;&#x153; RUF , â&#x20AC;&#x153; all night long . (: Love Nambia (=
July 16 , 1996 So , I’ve been in rehab for a while , I’m getting use to being here . Yesterday they made us talk about our families . It didn’t really bother my brother , but I got kind of emotional . I feel kind of heartless when I think about all the bad thing I did . Sometimes I really just want to start over and be happy . I hate myself for hurting people and it eats away at my conscious . My brother is also coming around . We had a visit from family members , but we don’t want to near the war . So the rehab center said that the will find us a place to live far away from the war . I really am afraid of becoming part of the war again . I may not make it out again . I don’t want my little brother to go through that suffering again . It was to cruel , and very hard to think about now that I’m getting better . My brother knows that the rebels are not a family . That they’re just liars using kids to fight a battle that they don’t want to . They never loved us , never cared about what
happened to us , they just needed us to fight their battles . They needed us to give our lives for something we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even wan
September 26 , 1996 I have a baby brother and it’s so exciting , Mambo Is jealous because he wants to be the baby still . Nobody talks to us about the war anymore , I’m kind of grateful for that . Sometimes I see my brother thinking about the hard times . I remember that during the war my brother used to ask me “Why didn’t you kill me ? “ And I always replied with “ Because we’re family . “ He thanks me for that . We have a great family and a nice house . We moved all the way to Long Beach , California . I even find myself telling my mother about the time I was in the war . My daddy says I’m his princess and he would never abandon me . I’m grateful for my family , because they’re all I have . I would be lost without them . We still go to a therapist , but as a family . We go to church every Sunday . I was baptized . I thank God everyday for what I become . But sometimes I cry to him about what happened to me and what I did . I mainly thank him forgiving me a happy-ever-after .
Love Nambia ( :
A blessed young lady !