Page 18 • Reporter
A&E
Tuesday, August 28, 2012T
“By the end of the ride, the city turned into a medieval village inhabited by pubs, cof fee shops, cafes, prostitutes propped up in store-like windows like manikins, sex shops and sex shows – paradise for the lewd and wicked, hell for the rest.” continued from 17
scotch by night, we’d smell the salt in the air and feel open and free. Dinners at port restaurants were accompanied by the lit up masts of sailboats illuminating in the blackness of the harbors. Sweet white wines and Red fish dinners were washed down back at the boat with the scotch. I’d fall asleep on the boat while it drifted back and forth between the pleasant waves. I’d then wake in the morning to the clearest waters I’ve ever seen, as if the water didn’t even exist. Tiny schools of fish would swim under the hull of the boat, so I’d jump in and their clusters would disperse, avoiding me like I was bomb. Breakfasts included fresh feta cheeses, strong Turkish coffee, and soft breads. I ate while starring off at the clean white rocks of the mountains out in the distance. And after the food, we’d set sail into the sun and continue drinking. The water would glisten in the rays of the sun, making the sea look like a million flashes of diamonds. It was a sea of diamonds. And, now, I’m back here in Mankato urging you all to save up and take the trip to the beauties and wonderments of Europe – the epitome of vacation.
August 28 Home Video Releases JAMES SCHUYLER HOUTSMA
staff writer
B
attleship –Poor Taylor Kitsch. He’s not a terrible actor, but because he has starred in two epic, epic bombs, one of them being Battleship. People have equated him with cinematic failure, when it’s really not his fault. During the annual RIMPAC Naval Exercises, one of the participating ships makes contact with a massive object off the coast of Hawaii. Said item is, in fact, a giant alien ship and is one of four others intent on contacting their home world in order to [insert alien motivation most likely related to resource consumption or world conquest]. It’s up to soon-tobe-discharged lieutenant Alex Hopper and his forces to battle the machinations of this race and destroy the giant barrier they have established around Hawaii. Perhaps the most positive thing that has been said about Battleship is that it is stupid fun. Not “stupid fun” like Transformers, as in complete contempt for its audience by wasting most of its time on borderline mentally unstable comedy before getting to the sloppy action. Rather, Battleship has
been described as having awesome visual effects to accompany stunningly inept and clichéd storytelling and dialogue, with bursts of unintended hilarity. As far as crappy summer blockbusters go, Battleship seems to be exactly what it looks like: big and dumb with some possible fun for more undiscerning audiences. Battleship is now available on DVD/Blu-Ray & VOD, and will be available on Redbox and Netflix September 25th. Think Like a Man – In a world where Tyler Perry movies have come to represent what black audiences will go see, one movie dares to undermine him. Based on the best-selling romantic advice book by Steve Harvey, the film follows four couples as the women take a page from Harvey’s book and the men scramble to recover and get one step ahead in the game of cat and mouse. For the past few years, Tyler Perry has been the most prominent filmmaker to feature movies with primarily black casts. But it’s now to a point where he has become known for being cartoonish and has fallen into the stereotypes he’s created. Along comes Think Like a Man, a wellmade romantic comedy that doesn’t fall back on buffoonery, has some good gags, and features plausible characters. Anyone hankering for a good rom-com will likely find themselves satisfied by Think Like a Man. Think like a Man is now available on DVD/Blu-Ray and all rental services. The Pirates: Band of Misfits – “From the Creators of Wallace and Gromit” should be indication enough to know you’re in for something good.
After the incompetent Pirate Captain (that’s literally the character’s name) plunders the last living dodo, along with Charles Darwin himself, the ship and its crew sets off for London in an attempt to win notoriety. Problem is that the Queen of England has a special hatred of pirates. Needless to say, zaniness ensues. Aardman Animations, known for movies like Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Wererabbit, Chicken Run, and Arthur Christmas, made this movie. Their signature Claymation and mastery of British wit are two of the best combinations in animation today. Sure, the whole saturation of pirates today is tiring, but if you value entertaining animated movies, The Pirates looks to be one to see. The Pirates: Band of Misfits is now available on DVD/Blu-Ray and all rental services. The Lucky One – I don’t know how many more Nicholas Sparks novels have yet to be adapted for film, but it is a number that can’t run out fast enough. U.S. Marine Logan Thibault, while in Iraq, finds a photograph of a woman and it literally saves his life. Once home, he seeks out the woman in the picture and becomes close to her and her hectic life. Movies based on Sparks’ books have a tendency to be… kind of shmaltzey. And melodramatic. And now familiar. If you already knew that and have come to terms with it, The Lucky One probably will satisfy on some level. If not, be forewarned. The Lucky One is now available on DVD/ Blu-Ray and VOD, will be available on Redbox on September 25, and Netflix will receive it on October 23. Ouch. *VideoOnDemand includes Amazon Instant Video and all cable OnDemand services.
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