Sept. 5, 2012
vol. 5 no. 12 community driven news
ARTS IN THE HEART LOCALS GIVE “ARTITUDE”
Special Section / PG 18-21
photo by JOHN ROBESON
VERGE PARENT ALERT: “SPICE ISN’T NICE” CONFUSING LAW OVER MARIJUANA SUBSTITUTE: TEAM REPORT / PG 11-12
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Augusta Half Marathon Now Includes 10K Event
he Augusta Sports Council recently announced that the February 24 Augusta Half Marathon has expanded to include a 10K race. Throughout the race weekend there will be several activities for runners and non-runners alike. Events include a race expo and a kids fun run. Race organizers expect 2,000 registered athletes for the two races, which will start and finish at historic Enterprise Mill. “The Augusta Half Marathon has seen tremendous growth over the past five years,” said Augusta Sports Council CEO, Brinsley Thigpen. “By adding the 10K race, we hope to attract a new demographic of runners, make the event one for the entire community and continue our mission of strengthening the quality of life for the city of Augusta. With the Medals for Miles 1-mile kid’s fun run, 13.1-mile half marathon, 6.2-mile 10K, the race expo and community adopt a mile and cheer zones, we are confident that we are offering an event that everyone can enjoy.” The Augusta 10K course, which will overlap the half marathon course, will be announced soon. Like the Augusta Half Marathon, the course will include areas of Downtown Augusta, Summerville and Harrisburg. Registration for both the half marathon and the 10K are now open. Participants can register online at AugustaHalf.org. by jennifer pruett
you won’t want to miss a page
This is your voice to hold the powerful accountable in our community (Spice is not Nice and One-on-one with Anne Graham Lotz).
Plan your activities around the best calendar in the CSRA and learn about cool music (Arts in the Heart and Lokal Loudness).
Learn a new recipe (Give German a Try) and experience an unbiased review of an established eatery (Soy Noodle House). Also, catch some buzz about others going in and out of business.
Learn what’s been going on in the medical realm of the CSRA (Medical Roundup), laugh out loud with Nora’s “Life Face First” and get a glimpse of AB’s Fab Five local high school football standouts.
12,000 copies of Verge are published on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month. Copies are available FREE of charge at locations throughout the CSRA including Publix, Kroger and Earth Fare and 140 plus other locations in the CSRA. Of the 12,000 total circulation---4,000 of the copies are now direct mailed. Verge is a publication of Buzz on Biz, LLC, whose offices are at 3740 Executive Center Drive, Suite 300, Martinez, GA 30907. Reach us at 706.261.9981 or email staff members below in regards to story ideas, events listings, advertising inquiries or letters to the editor.
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EDITORIAL: president/executive editor Neil Gordon email@example.com editor Jennifer Pruett firstname.lastname@example.org primary writer Christopher Selmek events editor Sarah Childers email@example.com
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Columbia County Expansion / PG 6
HUDSON HEARS Sheriff’s Race / PG 13
Apple’s TV Dance / PG 15
THE NEW MARIJUANA? CSRA LEGAL CONFUSION
Team Coverage on Pages 11 - 12
new topnotch coming
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word on the street WHAT WE HEAR BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
COLUMBIA COUNTY BUSINESSES CASHING IN! W
ord o Word on the street is three original Columbia County businesses are growing at a rapid pace. At press time, Columbia County commissioner Trey Allen and his wife Susy were set to sign a lease to move their Learning Express Toy Store from Park Place to Mullins Crossing. When they began five years ago, space in Mullins was not available, but with the downturn in the economy a few stores closed there. Kendrickâ€™s Paint and Body CFO Daniel Brown is in utopia over his Yotopia frozen yogurt concept. He and a partner have had such success since opening in January in Evans, they have opened their second store at the Augusta Exchange Shopping Center. Finally, Kevin Ciuncilli and his wife Vanessa are about to open the third location of Edible Arrangements, a fruit basket delivery service. The family still has their original location in the Academy Sports Plaza in Evans, another in Aiken and soon a third in the Colony Plaza in South Augusta. All three of these businesses started in Columbia County and grew! article by Neil Gordon
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Arts in the Community
t is our favorite time of the year: Fall is rapidly approaching – you can feel it in the air. College football kick-off weekend has just passed and we enter the “art” season. With the annual family favorite three-day Arts in the Heart beginning on Sept. 14, there will be lots to explore and see (not to mention meat on a stick!). On the cover of this issue, we highlight several artists who provide our community with a little “artitude” of their own: Billy S, Jim Dunaway, Brian Stewart, Syd Padgett, Jesse Lee Vaughn, Catherine Balducci, Lorrie Kasperek, Hooman Haghbin, Roy Davenport, Wanta Davenport, Cathy Tiller, Leonard “Porkchop” Zimmerman, Martha Deller, Lou Ann Zimmerman, Laura Neff, David Kernaghan, Xavier O. Jones, Michael Cameron, Margaret Hunt, Betsy Borgatti, Blaine Prescott, and Jay Jacobs. While at Arts in the Heart, we recommend that you take some time to seek their work at one of the many galleries and shops in downtown Augusta. During the festival, you can also experience ArtZilla in front of Sundrees near the J.B. White’s Building on Broad Street. Watch the artists create masterpieces in front of your eyes and place a bid on your favorite piece. The ArtZilla bid winners will go home with a fantastic piece of art, while helping the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art and the local art scene. The Augusta Players also kicks off its 2012 season with Hair Spray at the Imperial Theatre in late September - another favorite. Get your tickets early as we are sure this will be a sell out! We also explore the world of “spice” in this issue. The use of “spice” is a troubling social issue that has many people on many levels confused, including the legal status of the product, its medical implications and the societal issues that surround it. We try our best to decipher that world for you so you can be more informed. As you can see, there is plenty to go, see and do in the coming weeks. Have some fun, enjoy your community, support the arts and maybe make some new friends along the way. See you out and about in our community! Matt
A Look At Things To Do
Denice Traina locked up for MDA
enice Traina, a candidate running for District One Commissioner, was handcuffed in front of the Municipal Building and escorted to a silver car, Aug. 22. Traina was one of several individuals arrested during the Muscular Dystrophy Association’s fundraising Lock-Up, in which business and community leaders agree to be “put behind bars for good” where they utilize their vendors, co-workers, family and friends to get donations that will go toward their “bail”. “I thought that as long as I was running for commissioner, why not take advantage of my campaign to take my appeal to the commission and the mayor and urge them to donate money to this good cause,” said Traina, a likened physical therapist who has been working with the physically disabled community since graduating from MCG in 1985. “I think the jail in this case is going to be the Outback Steakhouse on Washington Road, where I’m going to be spending the rest of the day making more phone calls encouraging others to get online and donate.” According to Traina, Muscular Dystrophy is a degenerative muscle disease that affects mostly young boys by weakening the musculoskeletal system and hampering locomotion. “In theory I stay locked up until we raise $1,000,” she said. “Like any disease we always need more money for research, but on a local level this also helps children who otherwise wouldn’t be able to go to summer camps with special facilities so they can have fun and interact with other children dealing with the same disability.” All the money raised for Traina’s “bail” goes to support the Muscular Dystrophy Association of Martinez, where the money will stay to support children and families. Traina chose to be arrested in front of city hall not only because of the attention she hopes it will draw from city employees, but also to highlight the lack of handicapped accessible ramps on the front of the municipal building. “I would just like to point out that we’re still trying to get ADA standards implemented in our city,” she said. “I think if more people knew what it was like to be handicapped then they would have more sympathy for people who can’t go through the front doors of their own City Hall.” For more information, visit www2.mda.org, where you can look up Traina or any other jailbird and make a donation. We’re an equal opportunity “lock-up” newspaper. Feel free to contact us if you are a political candidate, losing your freedom for a good cause! We’d be glad to cover it. by Christopher Selmek
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September 21-23, 2012 AT THE IMPERIAL THEATRE
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one-on-one with anne graham lotz
nne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham, never planned to follow in her father’s footsteps. However, through an unexpected series of events, she not only began addressing revivals, but she also became “the best preacher in the family,” according to the legendary evangelist. Lotz is president and founder of AnGeL Ministries, an independent, nonprofit organization based in Raleigh, N.C. She is also a best-selling author and world-renown speaker; her Just Give Me Jesus revivals have been held in over 30 cities in 12 countries. Prior to her September revival in Augusta, Anne Graham Lotz graciously granted Verge an in-depth interview.
Verge: When did you launch AnGeL Ministries and what is its purpose? Lotz: I founded it 25 years ago. When I left teaching my Bible class in Raleigh, I had invitations from all over the world — I’m not sure why. I had spoken in Amsterdam at the International Congress For Itinerant Evangelists in 1983, 1986 and 2000. The audience was worldwide, and I think that immediately put me out there. I began getting invitations that I hadn’t accepted until I felt God led me out of my Bible class into what I call my itinerant ministry. This was about the same time that Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart were in the news for making a lot of money off of their ministries and not behaving very ethically — or morally, actually. I felt that one of the things God impressed on me was that I needed to start a nonprofit corporation, so that any money that came my way, whether it was an honorarium, a book sale or a gift, would go into a nonprofit ministry. I would have a board of directors to manage that and keep me accountable. Within a month’s time of leaving my Bible class, I set up a nonprofit corporation that uses my initials, AGL, with the n and e in between, because angels in Scripture were messengers of God and I felt that described what God had called me to — to just be his messenger. Angels went where God sent them, they spoke to whoever God put in front of them, they never gave an opinion, they just gave out God’s message, and I felt that’s what God had called me to do. I did that for 12 years, traveling wherever I felt God would have me go. Around 1998, I went through lots of pressures and struggles. My children got married within eight months of each other, my son was diagnosed with cancer and went through major surgery and radiation, my mother had five life-threatening hospitalizations where I stayed with her, my husband’s dental office burned to the ground. It was one thing after another within an 18-month period. I cried out to God and told Him I didn’t want to escape through drugs or alcohol, I didn’t want to take a vacation, I didn’t want to quit, and I wasn’t asking for a miracle. I just needed a fresh touch from
heaven. I needed personal revival. The way I articulated it was, “Just give me Jesus.” That was my heart’s cry. It’s not a logo, it’s not something you’ll find on a T-shirt or a mug; it’s my prayer. I turned in the Gospel of John and found the encounters that Jesus had with people, and I felt that it brought me into a fresh encounter with Him. He opened my eyes and showed me that if Anne Graham Lotz, Billy Graham’s daughter, needed a fresh touch from heaven, then maybe a lot of other people did too. We don’t mean to drift from God, but pressures and responsibilities and just life can be overwhelming, and we need a fresh encounter with Jesus. So I put things into motion. In the year 2000 we offered our first Just Give Me Jesus revival in Knoxville, Tennessee, and we’ve been all over. We go wherever God sends us and we’re invited to go. I don’t have people go into a town and say, “You know, I’d really love to come to Augusta, won’t you invite me there.” I just pray and He puts that on somebody’s heart. In Augusta, it’s Blanche [Conger]. She’s come to several of our revivals. She got women to pray with her, she checked with community leaders and she invited us to come. I believe God is at work in Augusta and He’s given me the opportunity to be a part of it. So AnGeL Ministries is just a nonprofit corporation that helps me do what I do. I don’t get paid for it. I don’t take any money from my ministry. I’m not on salary. My husband supports me. I don’t pay Fernando or Babbie or Sheila. We’re coming because we love Jesus and we have a heart for revival and ministry. Verge: How often do you hold revivals in each city? Lotz: I only come to the city once. If they call, what we’ve done in the past is we offer something we call Pursuing More of Jesus. It’s three days of more training. There are messages and music, but I train them not just in how to read their Bibles but how to study their Bibles and how to teach and give a presentation from their Bibles. I have gone back to do those, but not every city wants to do that. The only reason I don’t go back is that I’m not trying to build a following. I’m not trying to build a clientele. If I accomplish my purpose in that arena, to bring them into a fresh touch with Jesus, that they experience a wakeup in their hearts and a revival in their spirits, then that’s what I’m after. I give them enough tools in the arena. We have a prayer workshop to bring refreshment to their prayer life, I have a Bible study workshop to show them how to read their Bibles so they can hear God speaking, and they can go on from there. They don’t need me. I don’t want them to need me. I want them to get in touch with Jesus. And we’ve got a website with a lot of resources. I’ve written about 15 books and there are videos. Some of them we sell, but we have a lot of free resources because our aim is to help people in their walk with the
Lord, in their journey of faith, but not to become the focus of it. Verge: How do you keep the revivals fresh and relevant? Lotz: The messages I’ve given are the same, because if I have one opportunity to speak to a community, I want to tell them that Jesus is the Savior. I want to tell them about the cross, I want to tell them that He is the living Lord, tell them about the resurrection, that He’s seated on the throne and that He’s coming back. For Augusta, for the first time in 13 years, I’ve changed one of the messages. I feel very confirmed that the third message is not to be on Jesus as the king that rose but as Jesus who lives within us. I’m giving a message on the spirit of God. The first message is a call to the cross. Any time that I share the message, it’s always a challenge, but I never, ever get tired of it. I go through the story and I tell you what it means, the application, what Jesus went through. Then I get the audience to come to the cross and get right with God, whether that means to be saved, or turn away from sin, or whatever is hindering their relationship with God. On Saturday morning I go through the burial of Jesus and the resurrection and what it means in our lives today. After lunch, I do a workshop where I show them how to read their Bibles. Then we have microphones in the audience so they can respond and tell me what they’ve discovered, and it’s thrilling. You never know what they’re going to say, and it’s exciting. I love to interact with the audience that way. When you leave the arena you don’t leave alone for the rest of your life. Jesus is not just with you; He’s everywhere and He’s making all the difference in the world. Our world is unraveling, it’s falling apart, we’re imploding, and we need people who are strong and know the Holy Spirit and the power and the strength and the joy and the hope and the peace as these days come one at a time. Through the whole thing, Fernando will lead worship, and he’s fabulous. He doesn’t perform; he leads in worship so that you enter into worship with him, and it’s like you enter right into God’s presence. It’s beautiful. We have fun, we laugh, we cry, we praise the Lord together, and I invite people to come Friday night and all day Saturday. The fullness of blessing comes when you come on Friday and Saturday, and when you leave, you know Jesus in a fresh way. Look for Part 2 of our interview in the next issue of Verge. For more information, visit justgivemejesusaugusta.org, annegrahamlotz.com or call 706.922.480. by Alison Richter
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photo by JOHN ROBESON
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pice, a group of products marketed as a safe, legal alternative to marijuana and with similar psychoactive effects, may be making a comeback in Georgia despite new laws passed to limit their sale. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, of the illicit drugs most used by high-school seniors, Spice is second only to marijuana, likely because such products are easily accessible, not easily detected in standard drug tests and perceived as “natural”. In fact, while Spice products do contain dried plant material, chemical analyses show that their active ingredients are synthetic cannabinoid compounds. “What people don’t understand is that these are incredibly sophisticated analogs of THC that have been around for a long time,” said Jimmy Lea, scientific director of the forensic drug lab at GHSU. “When Spice originally came into being as an overthe-counter drug in Europe there were all sorts of natural herbs in there that were supposed to have a psychotropic effect, but once we discovered the THC analogs that’s when there began to be a big push to make Spice illegal.” Spice resembles and is often marketed as potpourri, then labeled, “not for human consumption” and packaged as any number of brand names including Spice, K-2, Haze or Fake Weed. When users smoke the substance it produces psychotropic effects similar to marijuana, only the experience can be more intense and carries the risk of dangerous side effects. It is also very difficult to trace through tests of blood or urine. “Testing for Spice is extremely difficult and there is no quick screen for it like we have for other narcotic substances,” said Lea. “It requires some very sophisticated equipment, and in fact until about a year and a half ago there were only two labs in the United States which would test for it. Now we have some more sophisticated equipment but I don’t think we’ll ever have a direct test for it.” Current Georgia law lists a series of illegal chemicals classified as schedule one substances, which means possession incurs a felony charge rather than the misdemeanor charge of marijuana possession. “It is a felony to possess a schedule one narcotic, which can get you 1 to 10 years in prison for possession,” said Sgt. Greg Meagher, Richmond County Narcotics office. “If you’re a first time offender buying a sack of spice we would probably give you probation and send you on your way. The maximum penalty seems pretty steep, but that’s just because it is a felony and we
want to discourage people from using drugs.” The law took effect the day it was signed by Gov. Nathan deal, March 26, without the customary waiting period, and many people are still unaware of its reach. The law also has holes in it, because it only lists a variety of known substances, leaving enterprising chemists ample room to create new compounds. “We identified the base formula,” said State Senator Buddy Carter, who sponsored the anti-Spice law. “We said any deviation, any alteration of the base formula, would be illegal. That worked for a while. Unfortunately what they’ve done is they’ve changed the base formula.” “The law contains a list of chemical compounds and derivatives of compounds, but what happens with Spice is that the chemists who make this stuff can keep changing the compounds so that they don’t fall on the list, and each time they do it becomes more dangerous,” said attorney Portland Campanaro, who is currently defending four clients from charges of Spice possession. “My clients are alleged to have been in possession of Spice, which they bought at grocery stores and gas stations around Colombia County and which they thought was perfectly legal.” One piece of evidence held by Campanaro is an 11-gram bag of Kush Blueberry, a Spice product. According to the packaging, this product contains Mullien leaf, hops, lemon balm, Indian leaves, passion flower and wild lettuce but contains no nicotine or tobacco products. It also says “Lab certified: this product contains no prohibited chemicals or materials. This product is legal for sale in all 50 states of September 1, 2011.” “One of my clients had a prior marijuana conviction and believed he was complying with the law by buying this synthetic substitute,” she said. “If the truth be told most of the people buying this product were trying to avoid buying marijuana, which has been illegal forever, but the prosecutors in this case will have to test it and see if it really is illegal.” She also notes that none of her cases have made it through the legal process yet, and she is curious to find out how the judge sentences her clients. However, she feels the police should be doing more to stop distributors or Spice products rather than
arresting the people who possess it. “One of my clients went into the convenience store, bought it, came out and was busted in the parking lot for possession of a schedule one substance, which merits the same punishment as if they were in possession of meth,” she continued. “Why would the police be so concerned about an individual when they should be more concerned about the store selling it? If this is a case of drugs and drug dealers, then the store is the dealer, not the dummy going in thinking that they’re avoiding a marijuana charge.” “We had gone to every gas station and head shop that was selling this stuff and given them a copy of the new law and warned them to send their product back to the distributor,” said Meagher. “We wanted to be fair about it and give them a chance to get their money back, but they know they’re not supposed to sell it.” The owners of the Lewiston Express gas station, where several of Campanaro’s clients were alleged to have bought their Spice, were arrested June 21 for possession of Spice with intent to distribute. However, police are already finding new varieties of Spice that don’t contain any illegal substances, and Meagher says they are not currently pursuing those items. “In many cases these are known compounds that have been used in research for a while, but they didn’t appear on the DEA schedule,” said Lea. “They have basically the same effect as marijuana because the chemical attacks THC receptors in the brain, sometimes even more aggressively than the naturally occurring compound.” Side effects of smoking Spice include increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and agitation along with the psychotropic effects typical of marijuana, such as lethargy and short-term memory loss. This is not the same as “bath-salts”, which have been the cause of several highly publicized acts of violence this year. It has been suggested that Spice can cause seizures and respiratory distress, although doctors at GHSU, ... continued on page 12
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spice is not nice
SPICE continued from page 11
Doctors Hospital and Aiken Regional Medical Center have all said that these symptoms don’t occur very often in this area. “These chemicals have been made illegal in our state and in Georgia, but they can modify the chemical to make it legal,” said Dr. Michelle Bens, M.D., an emergency room doctor at Aiken Regional Medical Center. “It actually has the opposite effect as regular marijuana because it makes you more agitated rather than less, and it can give you high blood pressure. I haven’t seen any cases personally but I guess there’s a new chemical coming out now so we may begin treating people for that very soon.” Many regular users of Spice question the purpose of the anti-Spice laws and have asked whether authorities would prefer them to use natural marijuana or simply inhale more and more dangerous chemicals as producers continue to evade the laws. “I’ve smoked Spice for two years and have never had a bad experience,” said one commenter on the NBC news website. “I am not happy that it is now banned and I’m not able to purchase it.” Senator Carter said authorities at the Georgia Bureau of investigation in Atlanta are studying the new formulas and that lawmakers are working on plans to address the problem during the next legislative session. “The side effects of this particular molecular structure is ever worse than what it was with the other one, so it’s kind of a double whammy,” said Carter. “Their chemists are obviously very smart and altering it in such a way to where they can get around the law, but at the same time we’ve got smart chemists too. We’re going to continue to fight this battle until we win, and we will win.”
Their chemists are obviously very smart and altering it in such a way to where they can get around the law, but at the same time we’ve got smart chemists too. We’re going to continue to fight this battle until we win, and we will win.”
article by CHristopher selmek
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THE REAL DEAL ON “SPICE”
hen my first Spice client walked through the doors of my office I told him that I did not think he could possibly be charged with anything, much less a felony carrying 15 years in prison. I mean, he allegedly walked into a local convenience store in Columbia County, picked the package off the shelf and purchased a substance which, according to it’s packaging, contains all natural ingredients and is legal in all 50 states. Lucky for my client I decided to do a little research while he waited in the office and discovered that I was mistaken -- and in a pretty big way. On March 27, 2012, Governor Nathan Deal signed “Chase’s Law” into effect. Also know as O.C.G.A Section 16-13-25. My client, who allegedly just possessed a package of Spice, could now be facing up to 15 years in prison. Reviewing the law in detail made me think on so many levels. For starters, I got a headache looking at all the chemical compounds listed. Secondly, thinking as a former prosecutor, I questioned how the State is going to prove these cases -- this is not a ban on all synthetic marijuana, as reported, but a ban on several chemical compounds and their derivatives. As I see it the State is going to have to send all of these spice possession cases to the GBI for forensic evaluation in order to prove that they in fact are covered by the statute. I guess that is not that big a deal except for the major time and money it will take to do it. In addition, those darn chemists who make Spice have already found a way around the law. By June, 2012 makers of Spice had altered the base formula so that it is not covered by Georgia’s law and is perfectly legal to sell in that form. There is no doubt that Spice is unhealthy, as it can cause seizures and even death. However, should the State be putting the young people the law was enacted to protect in prison for 15 years for possessing Spice, or should they perhaps be focusing on the actual manufacturers and distributors of Spice? My client didn’t hesitate to reveal where she purchased the Spice, but nothing was done at the time. The convenience store got a grace period but the kids don’t? PJ Campanaro has been practicing law since 1999, specializing in violent crime, DUI, custody and child support. She is a member of the Augusta Bar and former Chief Solicitor General. If you have comments or story ideas contact P.J at email@example.com
hudson hears investigative reporting on local politics
RICH CO. SHERIFF’S RACE: POLITICAL MANEUVERING These opinions are those of Scott Hudson and not necessarily those of Verge Newspaper or its staff.
any people were shocked when former Sheriff ’s Office candidate Scott Peebles endorsed his opponent Richard Roundtree for the November election. Indeed, folks who normally vote Republican and crossed over the political line to help Peebles felt a sense of betrayal. Yet, no one should really be shocked that Peebles made his controversial move. Conventional wisdom is that Republican Freddy Sanders simply cannot win the Sheriff ’s race in top heavy Democratic Richmond County; therefore, what is a longtime member of the force to do after losing a bitter fight in the run-offs? Conventional wisdom is that if he wants to keep his job on the force, he would become a good soldier in the “Tree Army.” Remember though, conventional wisdom had Peebles roundly defeating Roundtree in that primary. The fact that voters must look at in the upcoming Sheriff ’s race is that the job is almost purely administrative. Good decisions made from the top translate into good morale on the lower echelons. In the coming years several high-profile members of the office are set for retirement. The manner in which those jobs are filled will affect morale. Richmond County already has a problem getting and keeping seasoned officers. The county pays less, and the work is more dangerous than in surrounding areas. Therefore, the chance for promotion becomes key to retention. If Roundtree does what he has indicated he will do, replace high positions with people loyal to him rather than the force, then we will likely see a vacancy sign hung outside the human resources office. This knowledge makes Peebles sudden change of heart even more troubling. If Peebles was told an endorsement would allow him to keep his job and maybe even snag a promotion, then that would show that the favor of loyalty to a person and not a department is crucial on advancement. Roundtree is not an administrator. He is a seasoned beat cop, but his lack of organizational skills is well documented. Should Roundtree favor loyalty over ability, then everyone can expect an entire administrative wing filled with people right on Roundtree’s organizational skill level. Moreover, another very important function of a Sheriff is to keep the public informed about crime in their area, and the only way to do that is establish a good relationship with the media. In that area Roundtree has also been given a failing grade for many years. Conventional wisdom aside, Freddie Sanders has the skills needed for the job. His resume towers over his opponents with achievement in law enforcement as well as the private law sector. Sanders also has the reputation for being fair and making decisions based on the outcomes merit. Many conservatives are hoping that a massive backlash against the administration in Washington will spur voter turnout on Election Day and sweep Sanders into office. That scenario is real, after all, five years ago hardly anyone thought a junior senator from Illinois with no name recognition and virtually no governing experience would go on to win the Whitehouse. Shows you how much conventional wisdom knows.
scott hudson is a freelance reporter for WGAC and co-owner\operator of Cheers on Washington Road in West Augusta. Please send any comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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the lens masters
Making Your Photographs Matter
Apple Plans to Tackle TV Next
thoughts and tips on photography from the pros
ith the proliferation of digital photography, the world is being documented more than ever. A short walk down the street will usually turn up at least a couple people snapping photos of something with their phones, ipads or, less and less often it seems, actual cameras. So for anyone interested in using photography as more than a memory aid, it’s worth asking, “Why bother?” If everyone is taking their own pictures, what could possibly be special about yours? I think the answer can be broken down into two pieces: subject and technique -- or the “what” and “how.” If you want your photography to be artful then you should go about it as you would go about writing or painting. Tenaciously follow what obsesses you, the things that teach you something about yourself and your world. Explore those using your camera. There are millions of photos of rainbows and puppies already out there and it’ll be tough to make yours matter. If you’re truly consumed by puppies, then sure, you might bring something unexpected to your images. But generally, I wouldn’t recommend spending too much time taking pictures of the obvious. Find your own thing. If sometimes your photos scare you a little, then you know you’re on the right track. As for technique, it’s worth noting that digital photography and post-processing make it possible to create technically “perfect” images with relatively little difficulty. The problem is that a technically perfect photo will look pretty much the same no matter who’s taken it. The incessant sleekness of “perfection” can result in a loss of personality. Consider the recent popularity of Instagram, which can make a digital image look like it was taken in 1974 with expired Polaroid film. People crave what’s unique, and technical perfection is rarely unique. To paraphrase Leonard Cohen, it’s better to leave a crack in everything. In photography that often really is how the light gets in. So, don’t worry about it too much. Don’t take dozens of shots of the same thing with the idea that you’ll crop and correct a few of them later. Time is better spent learning to capture images and their emotional resonance in the moment. Get to know your subject, look for the best composition and then take the best photo possible. Try to know it when you see it, understanding that there’s always some mystery in that translation from viewfinder to paper or screen. In regard to equipment, there persists a myth that without the best hardware you can’t produce quality work. As with most other arenas this is absolutely untrue in photography. A compelling photo can be taken with a toy camera or a pocket point-and-shoot. All you need is the desire to transmit what you see and how you see it. For example, the photo above was taken near Steven’s Creek, South Carolina with a disposable black and white film camera. I was on the road and didn’t even have time to wait for the sun to go behind the trees, but I loved that old house in the tall grass the second I saw it. I wondered about who lived there and where they went. I hope that is all in the shot. The lens flare was a happy accident. Don’t discount the power of accidents or even mistakes -- when what you capture might unexpectedly transcend what you saw. That’s the best kind of photographic discovery, and it’s worthwhile even if no one else ever sees your shots. It’s something you still can’t get with a Photoshop app.
John Mulhouse had never picked up a camera before moving to Augusta in 2003. There has been no other city that he has photographed as completely or, some have said, as well. He currently lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico.photographers.
LensMaster is a behind-the-lens look at the world of photography, prepared by members of the Augusta Photography Festival, which runs this year from October 27 to November 4. Submissions for this year’s photo competition are now being accepted.
Latest Technology Trends
pple is working with some of the biggest cable operators to let consumers use an Apple device as a set-top box for live television and other video content. The plans represent Apple’s most ambitious push yet at infiltrating consumers’ living rooms after years of trying. Apple doesn’t appear to have firmed up any deals as yet with any cable operators because, they are reluctant to let Apple establish a foothold in the television business, and for good reason: Apple has managed to change the way music and smartphones are purchased and used, and they plan to do the same with video content -- both live and on-demand. Apple would also need to persuade potential customers to buy a set-top box, which would likely sell for a few hundred dollars as opposed to the traditional way of doing business, where customers rent one from their cable operator for $10 to $15 a month. This new foray by Apple into TV is a less radical plan than they have considered in the past. In particular, the new plan involves teaming up with existing content deliverers rather than licensing content and then competing with them directly. Technology companies such as Apple have long eyed the television market as their next big territory, but its gatekeepers -- the television distributors and media companies --have been reluctant to open the door, due to fear of ceding control to Apple the same way record labels and wireless carriers have done in the past. By building a set-top box that could be used with cable operators, Apple would be following a similar playbook that it used to transform the mobile phone industry -- convincing existing service providers to sell their service with Apple’s hardware and software. The approach has allowed Apple to profit by selling iPhones, while carriers carry the cost burden of delivering the service. Carriers have been willing to accept this onerous arrangement in hopes of selling more data usage to customers. Apple currently sells a $99 Apple TV box that lets users access some internet video on their televisions. The box offers programming purchased from iTunes and some streaming apps like Netflix, but it doesn’t offer the conventional live channel lineups available through cable and satellite operators, limiting the device’s usefulness. In addition, the Apple technology involved could ultimately be embedded in a television directly, in addition to a set-top box. Cable executives have stated that historically weak sales of the current Apple TV meant striking a deal to put live programming through the box hasn’t been a priority. Operators have put more emphasis on apps for the popular iPad tablet. Apple TV has been only a minimal part of Apple’s overall product mix, but that may soon change. Cable operators in the past were worried that Apple could erode their relationship with their customers if Apple controlled the cable box. Cable operators have also been concerned by Apple’s demand for a 30 percent cut on certain transactions going through the box, similar to the arrangement for app sales on the iPhone and iPad. Apple would also like to be the exclusive provider of set-top boxes using Internet Protocol (IP) or streaming video technology, and it wants the cable operators to service the box. On the other hand, for cable operators, the advantage of a deal with Apple, is that it could allow them to reduce the money they spend buying set-top boxes, which are leased to customers for a monthly fee. It could also help them keep customers who might have strayed in order to watch video through a growing array of Internetonly alternatives. Finally, the cool factor is an area the cable operators don’t want to miss out, and rumor has it that Apple TV may take advantage of a more mature Siri-type speech recognition interface to control the management of the TV set or set-top box. You can be sure that Apple’s latest venture into the world of TV content delivery is going to be head and shoulders better than what you have likely seen to date.
Kevin wade is founder and CEO of Intellisystems, an IT and telephone systems company. Email him with tech or gadget questions email@example.com
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COCO RUBIO’S Q&A
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daily planner The Daily Planner is our selective guide to what is going on in the city during the next two weeks. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED: Submit information by email (events@vergelive. com) or by mail (verge, P.O. Box 38, Augusta, GA 30903). Details of the event - date, time, venue address, telephone number and admission price - should be included. Listings included are accurate at press time, check with specific venues for further details.
COMMUNITY LET’S TALK: SELF-ESTEEM A free
seminar for women led by Tara Tanksley Stallings, Certified Life Coach. Seating is limited. Registration required. Call for more information or to register. Diamond Lakes Library; 6 p.m.; free; 101 Diamond Lakes Way, Hephzibah; 706.772.2432 ECGRL.ORG
HISTORY WHAT’S IN THE BOX: 20 BIRDS PARTY Play
a counting game in the gallery as we celebrate the exhibition The Morris at Twenty and create a cool bird painting inspired by the show. Registration required, museum members admitted free. Morris Museum of Art; 10 a.m.; $4; 1 Tenth St.; 706.724.7501
FESTIVAL FIRST THURSDAY
The Midtown Market; 5 p.m.; Kings Way; 706.364.8479
FESTIVAL AIKEN’S MAKIN’
A two-day arts and crafts event in beautiful downtown Aiken, featuring hand-made craft exhibits, food and entertainment. Visit website for event directions. Ends at 6 p.m. Downtown Aiken; 9 a.m. ; free; 803.641.1111 AIKENSMAKIN.NET
FESTIVAL FIRST FRIDAY
Art galleries display new works, performers take to the sidewalks and streets and arts and craft vendors sell their hand-made goods along Broad Street. Family friendly. Ends at 9:30 pm. Downtown Augusta; 5 p.m.; free; Broad Street; 706.826.4702
ART THE HEART OF AUGUSTA OPENING RECEPTION The gallery
artists will display works that express some of the many facets of Augusta. Meet the artists and enjoy wine and refreshments while you see what’s new this month at the gallery. Gallery on the Row; 5 p.m.; free; 1016 Broad St.; 706.724.4989 THEATRE DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS Lawrence
Jameson is suave and sophisticated. Freddy Benson is bumbling and humble. And both are expert con men. As they scour the French Riviera for lonely, rich women, they discover that the town isn’t big enough for the two of them. Directed by John Lewis. Aiken Community Playhouse; 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday nights through 09/21; $10 to $25; 126 Newberry St., Aiken; 803.648.1438
CONCERT FINALE: COLUMBIA COUNTY AMATEUR SERIES Family
Friendly. Bring your own lawn chair. Non-smoking event. Columbia County Amphitheater; 7 p.m.; free; 7022 Evans Towne Center Blvd.
CONCERT THE VEGA STRING QUARTET The Vega
String Quartet is on the cutting edge of the new generation of chamber music ensembles. Their performance has been described as having “a kind of clean intoxication to it, pulling the listener along.” Their concert, opening the Chamber Society’s 2012-13 series, promises to be an appropriate start to an exciting season. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre; 3 p.m.; $7 to $25; 2500 Walton Way; 706.733.5178
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CONCERT SONGWRITERS COME HOME Call the box
office for ticket pricing and availability. Etherredge Center at USCA; 7:30 p.m.; 471 University Parkway, Aiken, SC; 803.641.3305
COMMUNITY NORTH AUGUSTA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE BUSINESS EXPO Small Business
Person of the Year will be awarded at the Business After Hours/Award Reception that night at 6 p.m. North Augusta Community Center; 4 p.m.; 495 Brookside Ave., North Augusta; 803.279.2323
THEATRE WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION Only
Agatha Christie could have conceived such a suspenseful thriller and then capped it with an uncanny triple flip ending. A young, married man spends many evenings with a rich old woman. When she is found murdered, the naive young man is the chief suspect. The audience will be on the edge of their seats as Dame Agatha takes them on a journey through what has been called her “best mystery” ever. Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre; 6:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday nights through 9/22; $25 to $40; 32100 Third Ave.; 706.703.8552
CONCERT SOUTHERN SOUL & SONG SERIES Ricky
Skaggs and the Kentucky Thunder. Imperial Theatre; 7:30 p.m.; $13 to $37; 745 Broad St.; 706.722.8341
ART GALLERY ON THE ROW The arts are always
in the heart of Augusta at Gallery on the Row. As everyone else joins in this celebration of Arts in the Heart, Gallery on the Row will offer extended hours, door prizes and artisan demonstrations throughout the weekend. Gallery on the Row; free; 1016 Broad St.; 706.724.4989
FESTIVAL ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA This
year’s featured country will be Germany, hosted by the German Friendship Club of Augusta. For more information and festival schedules, please see our list of daily Arts In The Heart visit the website. Downtown Augusta; $5 to $7; Broad St. between Eighth and Tenth Sts.; 706.826.4702
CONCERT OPEN MIC VARIETY SHOW Singers,
performance poets, musicians, dancers from all cultures and of all ages are invited to perform one, 3-5 minute piece in this talent showcase at Arts in the Heart. Hosted by LadyVee DaPoet. Call to sign up. Festival admission must be purchased to attend. Troubadour Stage, Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival; 3 p.m.; free; 10th & Reynolds Sts.; 770.361.6411 ARTSINTHEHEART.COM
THEATRE 101 YEARS OF BROADWAY Neil Berg is
a composer/lyricist and the creator of 100 Years of Broadway which is still the number one Broadway touring concert in the United States. The show is a musical revue of Broadway’s most celebrated shows featuring a dazzling cast of five Broadway stars accompanied by an all-star New York band. They recreate the greatest moments from the finest Broadway shows of the century. Performing Arts Center at Georgia Southern University; 7:30 p.m.; $32; 847 Plant Dr., Statesboro; 912.478.7999
LITERARY MONDAY NIGHT BOOK DISCUSSION: Clara
and Mr. Tiffany by Susan Vreeland. Columbia County Library; 6:30 p.m.; free; 7022 Evans Town Center Blvd.; 706.863.1946 ECGRL.ORG
FILM SOUTHERN CIRCUIT FILM SERIES After viewing
the movie selection, Small, Beautifully Moving Parts, enjoy a questionand-answer session with filmmaker Annie Howell. Morris Museum of Art; 6 p.m.; free; 1 Tenth St.; 706.724.7501 THEMORRIS.ORG
COMMUNITY WRITER’S MARKETING MEET-UP
Attendess will learn how to market their published work and are able to share tips with one another and network with peers. Columbia County Library; 6:30 p.m.; free; 7022 Evans Town Center Blvd.; 706.863.1946 ECGRL.ORG
COMEDY BRIAN REGAN
Critics and peers agree that Brian Regan has distinguished himself as one of the premier comedians in the country. The perfect balance of sophisticated writing and physicality, Brian fills theaters nationwide with fervent fans that span generations. Bell Auditorium; 7:30 p.m. $39; 712 Telfair St.; 706.722.3521
ART EXHIBITION OPENING: PORTRAITS OF SOUTHERN ARTISTS Photographer
Jerry Siegel discusses his work. Must RSVP, free to members. Morris Museum of Art; $5; 1 Tenth St.; 706.724.7501
COMMUNITY JUST GIVE ME JESUS REVIVAL Called
the best preacher in the family by her father evangelist Billy Graham, Annie Graham Lotz speaks around the globe, sharing what she’s learned about God’s Word. She is president and founder of AnGeL Ministries, an independent, non-profit organization based in Raleigh, N.C., that is committed to making the Bible personal and relevant to ordinary people. James Brown Arena; 7 p.m.; free; 601 Seventh St.; 706.922.4800
FILM SILENT MOVIE NIGHT
Sacred Heart presents its tenth annual Silent Movie Night with Ron Carter again working his magic at the organ. Who hasn’t seen the iconic image of the bespectacled young man clinging to a clock twelve floors above the street? This is it - Safety Last starring Harold Lloyd, one of the big three comedians of the silent era. Sacred Heart Cultural Center; 7:30 p.m.; $18 to $45; 1301 Greene St.; 706.826.4700 THEATRE HAIRSPRAY
Imperial Theatre; 8 p.m.; $17 to $43; 749 Broad St.; 706.826.4707
GOOD CAUSE OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD KICKOFF Hundreds of
area kids, families, and volunteers from Aiken and surrounding areas will come together with one common purpose—to host a celebration kicking off the expected 11,000 giftfilled shoe boxes collected by local residents for children overseas through Operation Christmas Child. More information about this program will be shared at the event. Ends at 11:30 a.m. Millbrook Baptist Church; 10 a.m.; 223 South Aiken Blvd SE, Aiken; 803.649.5802
FOR MORE EVENT LISTINGS PLEASE GO TO WWW.VERGELIVE.COM
SEPTEMBER 5 - 22 2012
Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival
The Greater Augusta Arts Council will hold the 32nd annual Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival September 14 - 16, 2012, in historic downtown Augusta. This year’s featured country will be Germany, hosted by the German Friendship Club of Augusta (Deutscher Freundschafts Club, Inc.). The German Friendship Club was established in 1976, when a group of friends, consisting of German Nationals their relatives and friends, joined together to form a social club to preserve the traditions of Germany, to enjoy friends old and new and to showcase to the general public the delights of German Festivals and entertainment. The Club will offer traditional German fare from regions such as Bavaria and the Black Forest. In addition, they will have a beverage tent selling many types of German beers. The German Friendship Dancers will lead the Cultural Unity Dance at the opening ceremony. Membership to the German Friendship Club is open to all who like to have a good time – even those who don’t speak German. The only requirement is an appreciation of German culture and enjoyment of German Gemuetlichkeit. For more information visit germanclubofaugusta.org or see page 18.
Street Closures Announced for 32nd Annual Arts in the Heart Festival Courtesy of the Greater Augusta Arts Council
As the 32nd annual Arts in the Heart of Augusta Festival converges in historic downtown, showcasing visual and performing arts and celebrating the different ethnicities, Broad Street as well as several side streets will
Friday, Sept 14 5:00 to 6:00pm 6:00 to 7:00pm 7:00 to 8:00pm 8:00 to 8:30pm 8:30 to 9:00pm
Friday, Sept 14 5:00 to 5:45pm 6:00 to 7:00pm 7:00 to 8:00pm 8:00 to 9:00pm
Saturday, Sept 15 11:00 to 11:50am 12:00 to 12:30pm 12:30 to 1:00pm 1:00 to 1:30pm 1:45 to 2:45pm 3:00 to 3:50pm 4:00 to 4:45pm 4:45 to 5:00pm 5:00 to 7:45pm 8:00 until Sunday, Sept 16 12:00 to 1:00pm 1:00 to 2:00pm 2:00 to 3:00pm 3:00 to 4:00pm 4:00 to 5:00pm 5:30 to 6:45pm 6:45 to 7:00pm
Channelheimer Ooompa Band Parade of Nations Parade and Unity Dance Odyssey Pyroteque Khamsin Fierce Fusion and Friends Suzuki Strings Suzuki Strings Chinese Singers and Dancers Ballroom Dance Center Channelheimer Ooompa Band Indian Pavillion-Hindu Temple Soc AWARDS - Food & Art Amped Living Room Legends
Saturday, Sept 15 11:00 to 11:45am 11:45 to 12:15pm 12:15 to 12:45pm 12:45 to 1:45pm 2:00 to 2:45pm 3:00 to 4:00pm 4:00 to 4:45pm 5:00 to 6:00pm 6:00 to 6:45pm 7:00 to 7:45pm 8:00 to 9:00pm
Channelheimer Ooompa Band CSRA Zumba Instructor Performance Dance Extreme Augusta Youth School of Dance Celtic Rhythm Irish Dancer Musical Theater Workshop Rhythm and Class Cloggers Hip2Hip Studio CSRA Belly Dancers Eastern Star Dance The Islanders
Channelheimer Ooompa Band Christine Mangelly Belly Dancers Island Rhythm ABATSU African Dance Suzuki Strings of Augusta Von Grey Closing Ceremonies
Sunday, Sept16 12:00 to 12:30pm 1:00 to 2:00pm 2:00 to 3:00pm 3:00 to 3:30pm 3:45 to 4:45pm 4:45 to 5:45pm 6:00 to 7:00pm
Savannah Winds Hispanic Association: Dance Chanellheimer Ooompa Band Pulse Dance Center Cutno Dance Saidi and Friends Footloose and Fancy Free Cloggers
COMMUNITY STAGE Friday, Sept 14 5:00 to 5:45pm 6:00 to 6:30pm 6:30 to 7:00pm 7:00 to 7:45pm 8:00 to 9:00pm Saturday, Sept 15 11:00 to 11:45am 12:00 to 12:45pm 1:00 to 1:45pm 2:00 to 2:45pm 3:00 to 3:45pm 4:00 to 4:45pm 5:00 to 6:00pm 6:15 to 7:00pm 7:00 to 7:45pm 8:00 to 9:00pm Sunday, Sept 16 12:00 to 1:00pm 1:00 to 2:00pm 2:00 to 3:00pm 3:00 to 4:00pm 4:00 to 5:00pm 5:00 to 5:45pm 6:00 to 7:00pm
Kane and Company Envey Dance Toupe - Augusta Philipine American Asso of CSRA German Friendship Dancers
Dayz to Come Jerod Gay Spencer Shadden Michael Santangelo Billy S Company of Job JAMP JAMP She-n-She Ippie Music Double D Channelheimer Ooompa Band Artemia 3’rd shift Camouflage Spaceship Desiree The Smokin’ Guns Augusta Chorale Undone Breaking News Garden City Jazz Appling Road Band
be closed. Details are below: • The 200 block of 8th, Broad to Ellis will close on Midnight Tuesday night (9/11) • The 100 block of 9th, Broad to Jones will close on Midnight Tuesday night (9/11) • Macartan Street will close midnight Thursday • Broad Street from 7th to 10th, both East and westbound will close midnight on Thursday (9/13) • Streets will reopen as soon as streets are cleared after Closing Ceremonies on Sunday (9/16) We will be working with a towing company to remove
TROUBADOR STAGE Friday, Sept 14 5:00 to 5:30pm 5:45 to 6:15pm 6:30 to 7:00pm 8:00 to 9:00pm 7:15 to 7:45pm Saturday, Sept 15 11:00 to 11:30am 11:45 to 12:15pm 12:30 to 1:30pm 1:45 to 2:15pm 2:30 to 3:00pm 3:15 to 5:00pm 5:15 to 5:45pm 6:00 to 6:30pm 6:45 to 7:15pm 8:30 to 9:00pm Sunday, Sept 16 12:00 to 2:00pm 2:15 to 2:45pm 3:00 to 3:30pm 3:45 to 5:15pm 5:30 to 7:00pm
Yossef the Storyteller Jezibell Anat 5 Blue Lights Adult Poetry Slam Summa Clearance Liberty Players Chris Hardy Celia Gray Tamia Lee Denise Cheeks School of Music Multi-Cultural Microphone Ikeda Peace Taiko Robin Banks Denise Cheeks Promethian Fire Troupe Davidson Fine Arts Catherine the Great John Hobbs Musical Theatre Workshop Youth Poetry Slam
any vehicles parked on closed streets. Cars will be towed to the Municipal Building parking lot. There will be a map on the Festival website, artsintheheart.com, for people to seek parking and alternative routes to Broad, 8th and 9th Streets. This information is being delivered to all businesses and residents on the affected streets by Augusta’s CADIs.
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ARTS IN THE HEART GLOBAL VILLAGE FEATURES 18 COUNTRIES
he Greater Augusta Arts Council’s Arts in the Heart of Augusta festival will take over downtown for the 32nd year, Sept. 14, 15 and 16, complete with over 90 juried fine arts and craft vendors, a global food village with authentic ethnic cuisine and four stages of entertainment. This will be the second year that three of the festival’s four stages will be located on Broad Street along with a record 104 artists providing demonstrations and sales of their work. “All our visitors and vendors loved it last year when we took the festival right out onto Broad Street, which put everything right out in the open where no one could miss it, and also provided more and easier parking for everyone,” said Sallie West, the Arts Council’s director of outreach. “Our logistics volunteer is being challenged to find spots for everyone so we can create the festival map, which we expect will be even bigger than last year.” The Augusta Common will again house the Global Village, featuring 18 countries including newcomers Laos, Turkey and Spain as well as this year’s featured country, Germany, which will have an expanded menu and be positioned in the middle of the Common next to the dining tent and Global Stage. “It’s a way for Augusta’s ethnic communities to take pride in their heritage as well as for the people of Augusta to recognize the diversity of this community we live in with one glance around the Common,” said West. “We hold meetings with the global village team all spring and determine who will be the featured country by who hasn’t been featured for the longest time, and I’m really looking forward to sampling the great menu I’ve seen planned for Germany.” In keeping with the festival’s featured country, the Amazing Channellheimer Oompah Band will appear on the Global Stage playing German favorites such as the Chicken Dance and Volks March. On Saturday, the Global Stage will feature local band Living Room Legends, and on Sunday night will feature Von Grey, four classically-trained sisters from Atlanta who have come to Augusta courtesy of a touring grant from the Fox Theatre Institute. “We always try to bring in a great band for closing, and this is the first time we’ve applied for a touring grant which I believe will be well worth it,” said West. “When I heard Living Room Legends play for the 12 Bands of Christmas I knew that they would make a great featured band for our festival as well.” The Troubadour Stage, which will be located at Broad and MacCartan Streets, will host the multicultural microphone, which speakers may use to present poetry, storytelling,
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acoustic music and other low tech performances. Applications are available at artsintheheart.com for anyone interested in staging a family-friendly performance during the festival. Elsewhere on Broad Street the Community Stage will feature bands and choruses while the Family Stage features almost entirely dancing groups including Zumba, ballroom and belly-dance. Numerous fine arts and crafts vendors will gather on Broad Street, including last year’s first and second place prize winners, jeweler Lisa Davin and large-scale painter Jeannie Maddox. Other festival favorites include Fred Fisher, who makes decorative imprints of fish, the Broom Brothers, who make beautiful hand-crafted brooms, and the Grunge Goddess Juliet King on her potter’s wheel. “It’s an amazing chance for people to actually witness the connection between the artists and their art, as they produce new pieces and provide demonstrations right out for everyone to see,” said Brenda Durant, GAAC executive director. “There’s so many amazing artists that make jewelry and pottery that is unlike anything you’re likely to find anywhere else in Augusta, and we want them to be happy and come back next year.” A children’s hands-on area will be at the intersection of Eighth Street and Broad, where children can participate in creating hand-made arts and crafts and then receive a stamp
on their festival passport. Fox 54 will be giving out balloons in exchange for completed passports after children receive a stamp at each of 8-10 stations with international themes. “There are so many different reasons for people to come out and enjoy the festival,” said Durant. “For some people it’s one of the only times they get to experience great local art, and for some kids it’s their first experience with art. The kids get to take in the whole array of what’s going on onstage and it’s a way for them to picture themselves on stage and potentially inspire them to become one of our next generations of artists.” Weekend badges for the Arts in the Heart Festival are $5 in advance and $7 the day of, but children younger than 10 are always free. Advance tickets are on sale at SRP Federal Credit Union. For more information see the schedule on page 19 and visit artsintheheart.com. by Christopher Selmek
45 HOURS OF ART IN AUGUSTA
or the second year in a row, artists will converge in Augusta to participate in ArtZilla, a 3-day live painting event and art auction that runs from September 14 -16. The line up will include artists Carrie Brooks, Jason Craig, Aaron Crawford, Hannah Elliott, Jay Jacobs, Chris Murray, Blaine Prescott, Brian Stewart and Leonard “Porkchop” Zimmerman. Held outside of the gates of Augusta’s Arts in the Heart festival, ArtZilla was spawned from its previous incarnation, Art45. But unlike the now defunct Art45, ArtZilla is completely
meet the artzilla
organized and controlled by the artists and for the artists. Each artist will be given a canvas on which they will paint outside and in close proximity from start to finish. A silent auction will begin as the painting begins, followed by a live auction at the conclusion of the 3-day event. A portion of the proceeds will be given to the Gertrude Herbert Institute of Art with the remainder going to the artists themselves. This is the fifth year artist and designer Jason Craig has organized this event.
THE QUSTIONS: SONG What song describes your style? TIME How long is 45 hours when you are painting live? MEAT Meat on a stick or meat in a cone? HASH TAG #writeyourown
SONG I would like to think “F.V.K.” by Bad Brains -- more likey something by the Spike Jones Orchestra TIME Never long enough MEAT Necklace HASH TAG #allthatguycan paintisfaces
SONG “Megaghost,” by a perfect little band called Lightning Bolt TIME Plenty of time! MEAT On a stick, shoved inside a cone, then shoved into my mouth, repeat HASH TAG #infinitynorest
We asked each ArtZilla artist a round of rapid-fire questions. Their responses, as varied as their art, speak volumes for the flavor and creativity of ArtZilla.
SONG “Galvanize” – Chemical Brothers TIME Time passes quickly. MEAT mmm… HASH TAG #cantwait
SONG Avett Brothers, Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan -- storytellers. TIME I’m always sad it’s over. MEAT Stick for sure! HASH TAG #whatsahashtag
SONG No genre is left unexplored. TIME Before you know it the weekend’s over, and the paint is still wet. MEAT On a stick for breakfast and in a cone for dessert HASH TAG #brainyaxe
SONG “Human Behaviour” by Bjork TIME I have no concept of time MEAT Stick, duh HASH TAG #makemy porkchop
SONG “Digital Bath” by Deftones TIME Not long enough MEAT Stick HASH TAG #thats notpossible
SONG “Jive Talkin’” by The Bee Gees TIME About 7 to 8 MEAT In the cone, all the way HASH TAG #yolo
stewart SONG “Lucky Man” by The Verve TIME 162,000 seconds MEAT On the stick HASH TAG #stewARTIST
WHEN Friday, Sept. 14, 6:00pm to 9:00pm; Saturday, Sept. 15, 8:00am to 9:00pm; Sunday, Sept. 16 10:00am to 6:00pm WHERE In front of Sundrees on Broad Street THE AUCTION PROCESS All bids start at $100 and go up in $25 increments. Silent bids can be placed on site, through Facebook, by telephone or via email. Finished works will be on display at location TBD until the final live auction on First Friday. MORE Look for ArtZilla on Facebook
45 HOURS OF ART IN AUGUSTA
SEPTEMBER 5 _ VERGELIVE.com / 21
NIGHTLIFE WEDNESDAY, SEPT 5 SIBLING STRING @ Joe’s Underground Cafe | 9:30 p.m. RENE RUSSELL TRIO @ Manuel’s Bread Café 6:30 p.m.
September 5-22 2012 JARED ASHLEY @ Country Club | 10 p.m., $3 to $5
SATURDAY, SEPT, 15
ROSHAMBEAUX @ Wild Wing Café | 8 p.m.
NIGHTLIFE WEEKLY Mondays SPORTS NIGHT @ Surrey Tavern | 7 p.m.
MIKE FROST JAZZ @ The Willcox | 8 p.m.
3RD HAND SMOKE @ Joe’s Underground Cafe | 9:30 p.m.
THE CHEATERS @ Surrey Tavern | 8 p.m. BUBONIK FUNK @ 1102 Downtown | 9:45 p.m.
FRIDAY, SEPT 7
TUESDAY, SEPT 18
THURSDAY, SEPT 6
SHANE OWENS & BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH BAND @ Coyotes | 8 p.m. B-53’S @ Sky City | 9 p.m., $5 LIQUID SOUL + THIRD RAIL @ The Jazz Lounge | 9 p.m., $15 to $20
SATURDAY, SEPT 8
SHANE OWENS & BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH BAND @ Coyotes | 8 p.m.
SKY city MUSIC ART COCKTAILS
WEDNESDAY, SEPT 19 ERIK SMALLWOOD @ Wild Wing Café | 8 p.m.
PUJOL + TURF WAR @ Sky City | 9:30 p.m., $5
Eat Lightning + Rachel Goodrich + Modern Man + Mechanical River 9pm / $3
with The B-53’s + DJ’s + New Art Opening 8pm / $5
Rock n Rap For Teestea 8pm / $10
& Dreadful Croakers
10pm / $3
Funk You 10pm / $5
Mynameisjohnmichael + James Wallace & The Naked Light + Folly
10pm / $5
9-19 / Pujol + Turf War 9-20 / Moon Taxi (2 Sets) 9-21 / Lexie’s Legacy Concert 9-25 / North Mississippi All Stars & Missing Cats with JoJo Hermann 9-28 / The Ramblin’ Fevers 10-12 / Langhorne Slim & The Law 10-23 / Chris Robinson Brotherhood
22 / VERGELIVE.com _ SEPTEMBER 5
MANUEL’S MUSIC WEDNESDAYS @ Manuel’s Bread Café 5:30 p.m. BIKE NIGHT!@ The First ound 8 P.M. The first drink is on us!
Thursdays THURSDAY, SEPT 20
MOON TAXI @ Sky City | 9:30 p.m., $5
FRIDAY, SEPT 21
JAZZTINI THURSDAY @ Hotel Aiken | 9:30 p.m. BOOM BOX @ Soul Bar | 8 p.m., Drink specials daily during Happy Hour (4 p.m. - 7 p.m., Monday - Friday).
SHAMELESS DAVE & THE MIRACLE WHIPS @ Laura’s Backyard Tavern | 8 p.m.
REZON8 @ Playoffs Sports Bar & Grill | 9:30 p.m.
THE DANIEL LEE BAND @ Country Club | 10 p.m., $3 to $5
BETSY KINGSTON & THE CROWNS @ 1102 Downtown Bar & Grill 9:45 p.m.
2012 LEXIE’S LEGACY CONCERT + CD RELEASE SHOW @ Sky City | 9 p.m., $5
JOHN BERRET’S LAROXES @ Iron Horse Bar and Grill 10 p.m.
LIVE JAZZ FRIDAY @ The Partridge Inn | 10 p.m
HOLMAN AUTRY @ Country Club | 10 p.m., $3 to $5
1157 Broad Street Downtown Augusta GA
TRIVIA NIGHT @ The Playground Bar | 10 p.m.
HAPPY BONES @ Joe’s Underground Café | 8 p.m., $2
3RD HAND SMOKE @ Joe’s Underground Cafe | 9:30 p.m. CHRIS HARD & HIS 4-STRING LITTLE FRIEND @ Blue Sky Kitchen
$100 TAB BIG PRIZE TRIVIA @ Somewhere in Augusta 8 p.m.
TUESDAY, SEPT 11
HAPPY BONES @ Joe’s Underground Café | 8 p.m., $2
THE PACKWAY HANDLE BAND @ Stillwater Taproom 10 p.m., $5
KATHLEEN TURNEROVERDRIVE @ Joe’s Underground Cafe’ | 9:45 p.m.
THURSDAY, SEPT 13
WEAVING THE FATE @ The Playground Bar | 7 p.m.
FRIDAY, SEPT 14 D.B. BRYANT BAND @ Wild Wing Café | 8 p.m. OPPOSITE BOX @ The Loft 8 p.m.
ALL-OUT ACOUSTIC FRIDAY @ Hotel Aiken | 9:30 p.m.
FRESHSOUNDS DANCE PARTY @ The Playground 8 p.m. DRINK + DROWN @ The Library Nightclub | 10 p.m., $10
WEDNESDAY, SEPT 12 CHRISTOPHER BELL @ Manuel’s Bread Café 6:30 p.m.
TANGO NIGHT @ Casa Blanca Café | 6 p.m.
SATURDAY, SEPT 22 GRANNY’S GIN @ Lady Antebellum Pavilion | 8 p.m. JOHN BERRET’S LAROXES @ Iron Horse Bar and Grill 9 p.m. BLAIR CRIMMINS & THE HOOKERS @ Stillwater Tap Room | 9 p.m., $5 JOHN KARL @ The Country Club | 10 p.m., $3 to $5
LIVE DJ EVERY SATURDAY @ 1102 Bar and Grill | 10 p.m., no cover
KARAOKE WITH PEGGY GARDNER @ Shannon’s Bar & Grill | 8 p.m. BEER PONG @ The Playground 10 p.m.
Coco rubio’s One on One Chat With CSRA Musicians
with Liz Bramlett C
oco: When people ask you what you do for a living.... what do you tell them? Liz: I tell them that I am a full-time musician, and that is my number one priority and goal, but I also work front desk at a hotel to pay the bills. Writing and playing original music never pays right off the bat. Coco: As a female bass player in a rock band… who are some of your influences? Liz: My current inspirational playlist of tunes consists of bigger bands such as Coheed and Cambria, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Taking Back Sunday and then several underground bands I’ve met on the road such as So Many Ways, We Still Dream, The Composure, Punchline and many more. Coco: How old are you and how many bands have you been in? Liz: I am 22, and I’ve been in three bands, although this is the first one I’ve put so much into. Liz Bramlett Band/Our Finest Year, The Strange View and now Panic Manor. Coco: Did you grow up playing an instrument or did you just do it “punk rock style” as you got older? Liz: I kind of taught myself acoustic guitar as a teenager, which consisted of locking myself in the bedroom every day after school, trying to read tabs and my guitar never staying in tune…and then Steven taught me how to play bass when I was 19. I really enjoyed it, and although I’m not naturally a good guitar player, it is a lot of fun, and I do see myself continually improving. I do think that I am a strong lyricist; I enjoy having input on song structure and composition, and I did take voice lessons for many years. So thankfully I think everything evens itself out. Coco: Speaking of Steven... how is it to play in a band with your boyfriend? Who are some of your favorite band couples? Liz: It works out really well, as many people are surprised to find out. We really feed off of each other’s drive to see this band through. Having another person be as passionate about something as you are is irreplaceable. If one of us gets discouraged or frustrated, the other one picks the other up and says “get over it, press on”. It is definitely important to separate your feelings from the relationship in a band situation. You can’t take things personally or get offended. You have to work together and give each other space at the same time. I think we’ve got it down to a science now! My personal favorite band couple is Carly and Tom from the Pennsylvania band called Slingshot Dakota. They’re an indie-punk band with a keyboard, with more pedals than Will Duckworth has, and a drummer. They’re also engaged, and they are two of the most lovely, passionate musicians I’ve ever met. Coco: Most of your local shows are at all-ages venues Sector 7G.... how’s the local scene there? Liz: The past few shows we’ve played there have done pretty well. I feel like there’s enough of a presence of people there who really care about the local all-ages music scene to keep it going. Even at 22 years old, I don’t see myself wanting to stop playing there ever. It’s where we all had our awkward years, saw the bands we looked up to (for me it was Hello Lefty, Veara, Say Vandelay, Glass Bottom Boat, Estrela), then we decided to make a high school band and play crappily for a couple of years; we grew up, and now we are the ones inspiring the younger kids to pick up instruments and start writing music. It’s a cycle of beautiful, misfitcreated, messy masterpieces. Coco: As you get older and start playing the bar circuit.... how is that different? Liz: It really depends. We’ve played in some places where it feels like we’re just the background noise, and not many people are truly listening to the songs. On the other hand, it makes booking tours much easier because there are more options, and we’ve played some really amazing shows in bar-venue type places. Coco: So overall... how do you see the Augusta Music Scene in 2012? Liz: The same as I’ve seen it the past few years...it’s doing okay; it’s not going to die, but it does need something to push it over the edge and make it bigger, because it can be bigger. But what is that “thing”? I don’t even know myself. Coco: Local college radio? Liz: Yes please. Let me be a guest DJ! I’d love to spin some tracks and introduce Augusta to some fantastic unknown bands from across the United States. I think that might be the “thing”. College radio, I mean, now that I think about it. coco rubio opened The Soul Bar in 1995 and Sky City in 2008 with the intent to help revitalize downtown Augusta and to make it the entertainment center of the CSRA. When he is not working downtown, he likes to stay home and hang out with his daughter Maya, his wife Holly and their dog Pearl.
Stoney’s sound bites
IT’S BEEN A BUMPY RIDE W
ell kiddies it’s been a wild and crazy ride around this town since the last time we hung out here in the melodic section of Verge. The last time I can recall a ride this bumpy The Godfather was draggin’ bare tire rims across the Georgia-Carolina border. Lemme pull over a sec and tell you about it… Back in the 70’s rock legend John Lennon made waves with his unique methods of activism and protesting with wife Yoko Ono, most notably purchasing billboards across the U.S. that said “War Is Over – If You Want It” to advertise the pro-peace holiday single “Happy Xmas (War is Over).” To thank Lennon and Ono for doing their part to help raise spirits in this country the Nixon Administration decided to take a “strategic counter-measure” against what they labeled anti-war propaganda by Lennon. This resulted in a four-year attempt to deport the music legend. Why do I bring this up? Well partly because just recently Lennon’s killer Mark Chapman was denied parole for the 7th time (he comes up for parole every two years), and because an Augusta musician (who is greatly influenced by Mr. Lennon) just last month was scrutinized by a Columbia County organization for speaking his mind while onstage during a benefit concert (while, ironically, playing music that included tracks written by one John Winston Ono Lennon). Reportedly the Augusta artist, Ed Turner of the band ED TURNER & NUMBER 9, had a few humorous words to say about Dr. Azziz and a prominent bank sponsor and the whole Regents thing while on stage for a Concert for Kids fundraiser, and it ruffled a couple of feathers. It’s rock & roll people. It’s SUPPOSED to ruffle a few feathers. Now I just wonder if the president of the CCEC will take a measure to try and deport Mr. Turner from Columbia County. It’s madness I tell you. No more protests. I say we all get into our pjs and have a bed-in to promote peace and protest stupidity! Now the break between the CCEC and Ed Turner isn’t the only one to happen recently. Just weeks ago the news hit the interwebs (and the sidewalks of Augusta) that area hard rock band THE ATOM BLONDE have called it quits. With the band seemingly riding a high, this came as a sudden shock to fans and fellow musicians in the area. The band members are being mum the details, but the most common explanation circulating is that the band has suffered a mild case of “Fleetwood Mac syndrome.” You figure out. I have a deadline to meet. North Augusta singer-songwriter Carey Murdock has been busy having recently wrapped up his first European world tour. Now the Americana rocker is going where many others have been trying to go -- Kickstarter. Yep, Murdock has a Kickstarter project aimed at raising funds to record and release several digital two-song “45s”. The tracks are scheduled to be recorded with noted producer Rick Beato, who has worked with such acts as Shinedown, Needtobreathe, Crowfield and Trey Anastasio. Go to CAREYMURDOCK.COM to find out more and even take part. Well that’s all the time I have kiddies. It’s time for me to roll down the windows, turn on the tunes and head on down the bumpy but beautiful Augusta roads. But let me remind you to check the daily planner in this here Verge for a guide to some great upcoming live shows. To keep up in between, stop by LOKALLOUDNESS.COM. JOHN “STONEY” CANNON is considered the guru of “lokal”
music. Check out his long-running Augusta music website: LOKALLOUDNESS.COM
SEPTEMBER 5 _ VERGELIVE.com / 23
24 / VERGELIVE.com _ SEPTEMBER 5
the film reel
now playing on the big screen
sanford bruker banks
ood thing everyone is back in school, because it’s time to put on your thinking caps, moviegoers. The major release on September 7 presents viewers with a story within a story within a story. While that may sound like more work than, say, watching a Will Ferrell flick, there is a reward in that it is much more likely to lead to intelligent post-viewing conversation. Shot over just a few weeks in Montreal, THE WORDS tells the story of Rory Jansen (Bradley Cooper), a struggling writer who discovers a dusty old manuscript and claims it as his own. The plagiarism leads to a book deal, fame and glory as well as feelings of guilt and regret as the original author comes forward. Ethical dilemmas take center stage as Rory chooses to fraudulently claim authorship of the story in the wake of years of unfulfilled ambition and utter failure. Oscar winner Jeremy Irons (Reversal of Fortune) plays the elderly man who confronts Rory, claiming the work to be his own. Ben Barnes (The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) plays a younger version of the author seen through wartime flashbacks. Dennis Quaid co-stars as yet another author who tells the story of Rory’s moral lapse in this complex melodrama. There are romantic elements as well, with Cooper’s real life exgirlfriend Zoe Saldana playing his supportive wife and fellow beauty Olivia Wilde as the literary scholar groupie to Quaid’s character. Cooper served as executive producer on this film, which was picked up by struggling distributor CBS Films after its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival. Cooper’s childhood friend Brian Klugman wrote and directed this movie along with Lee Sternthal, making it the directorial debut for both men. The story is loosely based on accounts of a manuscript by Ernest Hemingway said to have been stolen as his wife left it in an unattended suitcase on a train. Limited openers include the spy thriller THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY, featuring Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver and Henry Cavill, an actor viewers will get to know much better when he hits the big screen as Superman in next summer’s Man of Steel. Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher and Lizzy Caplan play unfit bridesmaids to a girl they made fun of in high school in writer-director Leslye Headland’s BACHELORETTE, and sci-fi conspiracy theories meet the capitalist ideal of product branding in the psychological thriller BRANDED. Overwhelming success with 3D re-releases of The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast have encouraged Disney to give the same treatment to some of their other animated hits from years past. On September 14, viewers will get an added dimension of the 2003 Disney-Pixar hit FINDING NEMO. Another of the studio’s films, Monsters, Inc. will get a 3D re-release in December. The week’s other big feature is RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION which finds Milla Jovovich playing cult favorite lady action hero Alice for the fifth time on film in a story written and directed by her husband Paul W.S. Anderson. The franchise also includes video games. Nicolas Cage tries to emulate Liam Neeson’s success in the kidnap thriller genre with limited opener STOLEN while Channing Tatum and Rosario Dawson lead the ensemble cast of the high school reunion comedy 10 YEARS. by mariah gardner, movie guru
SEPTEMBER 5 _ VERGELIVE.com / 25
look good, feel good
behind the curtain
MIND YOUR MANNERS AT THE SHOW
can’t count the number of times I’ve performed on stage. It’s one of my favorite things to do in the world. And part of what makes it incredible is the interaction I get to have with the audience. An audience is like the final cast member; however, sometimes seems like that cast member that forgets his lines and wears too much makeup. A bad audience can be so distracting that I can’t even focus on the show. And while I’m confident that none of the educated readers of this column need it, I thought it might be refreshing to brush up on some theater etiquette: Give phones the silent treatment: (And I won’t even mention pagers, since no one has carried one since 1997). Seriously, we ask audience members to check 18 times before the curtain. The Lady Gaga ringtone can be quite a distraction; and, I personally think we should bring back medieval punishments for those people that actually answer the phone in a theater. We can hear that : Other items also make noise: candy wrappers, soda bottles and smuggled in sub sandwiches (yep, people really do that). Just remember the sounds others paid to hear come from the stage. Be there when the curtain goes up: There was a time when theaters wouldn’t seat latecomers. I was at one show where hundreds of audience members flooded in after the prologue. They missed a very good prologue in addition to driving the rest of us crazy as they crawled their way to their seats. Stick out the ending: I know traffic is a nightmare, but it’s disheartening to be on stage and see an audience exodus as you take a bow. Surely two more minutes won’t hurt anything. Babies don’t like theater: Just ask them, they cry through every show! However cute your baby is (and I am sure he’s pretty cute) if you MUST bring him you MUST also sit on the aisle. And don’t let him cry for five minutes before leaving. Also, remember a crying baby being held in the back of a theater is still a crying baby in a theater. I hope those don’t come across too harsh, because 99 percent of audience members I’ve encountered are gracious and courteous (and quiet). So, for all of you, the theater goers I love, here are some “do’s” to help you get the most out of shows… Laugh: Even if the joke is only mildly funny, a good hearty laugh helps everyone. Clap: Nothing helps out actors like a little applause, so clap away! After scenes, after songs and really anything you think is great! Also, all kick lines MUST be applauded, no matter how small. Attend: You can’t enjoy a show that you don’t see. So buy a ticket and remember these few simple rules for a great evening!
wes hennings has been in the performing arts since he could walk, and since moving to Augusta has been in dozens of productions with companies such as The Augusta Players, Fort Gordon Dinner Theater, Enopion Theater Company and the Augusta Opera, both on stage and behind the scenes. By day, Wes is a technical director and media producer. Questions? Story Ideas? firstname.lastname@example.org
26 / VERGELIVE.com _ SEPTEMBER 5
Changing Looks with Changing Seasons M
ost of us love seasonal changes, because change is the one constant. So altering looks seasonally keeps style current and youthful for women and men alike. I can never stress enough the need for a consultation with a client every visit, as tones and layers serve different purposes in different seasons. In women, lighter tones with longer layers in the spring and summer are great when wearing hair up. Adding warmer wefts or panels in fall and winter add depth and improve skin tone, and shorter layers, when properly placed, draw attention to the eyes. In men, a simple change in tonal value or camouflaging gray, or a slight bang or sideburns can add detail to style. This fall, infuse warmth into your color with a shadowing technique, or for a “quick fix,” try a glaze to add depth and shine. It is imperative to minimize the dry sun bleached look of summer. This should be a gradual change into the coming season, evolving into something new and fresh. If chemicals are a problem, organic color is now available in better salons; and many have no ammonia or peroxide. Granted, the cut is the foundation to great style, but product use and proper recommendation from stylists are keys to fundamentally changing looks. Not to be oversold or undereducated by the stylist, the client must understand that the stylist certainly cannot achieve a look without product, nor can the client. Texturizing products are flying off the shelves. Women desire the ability to get that second day out of their look and men want a professional yet modern look. Without professional products, these styles are unobtainable. Several products also help to restore hair after all of the summer endeavors. Again, organic options are available. Most of these mini-treatments take eight to ten minutes and offer instant results. The Redken Glossing Treatment adds body and shine; The Redken Chemistry Treatment is a custom blended cocktail that targets and cures anything from dry frizzy hair to dull lifeless hair; And Pureology Masques infuse softness, restore protein integrity and rebalance moisture. New seasons bring feelings of renewal. Take this incredible feeling and energize with a new look. All that is necessary is a small leap of faith. After 24 awesome years in the business, my best advice is visit a stylist who keeps their finger on the pulse of fashion and change and continues their education. Benefit from their efforts and be pleasantly surprised with a great new look and feel. Take-away tip: Purchase hair care products from local salons, and help ensure that your community continues to thrive. DJ Williams owns DJ & Co on Davis Road in Augusta. In 2012, he celebrated his 20th Anniversary with his staff of 17 professionals. DJ has received Elite Status awards from Redken, Jane Iredale and Bio Elements and twice been nominated for Global Beauty Entrepreneur of the Year. Reach him at 706.868.9400
ARTSY FOOTBALL FOOD / PG 29
BEERS LOKALS LIKE
ARE U READY 4 SOME FOOTBALL? / PG 31
WORST IN CSRA / PG 31
SUSHI FOR UNDER $50? YOUR WHOLE FAMILY? YUP!
REAL RESTAURANT REVIEW / pg 29
SEPTEMBER 5 _ VERGELIVE.com / 27
COMINGS AND GOINGS T
he Historic Partridge Inn is welcoming another General Manager and Chef to 2110 Walton Way -- and inviting the public to an Augusta Metro Chamber of Commerce Ribbon Cutting on September 20 -- complete with some taste-testing. Is it me or has the hotel changed itâ€™s top management more often than they have changed smoke alarms in their suites? The buzz is there may be a buyer for Cheers, the liquor store on Washington Road. Verge writer Scott Hudson had been leading a going-out-of-business sale. Augusta is known as having about as many buffet restaurants per capita than any other city in the U.S! Donut and Cupcake shops are not far behind either. The Donut Hole just opened in North Augusta in the North Hills Plaza near Fredâ€™s on Martintown Road. Tea With A Duchess made it more than two years in business in a refurbished cottage on Monte Sano. The passionate owner\operator closed the space in August after dedicating herself to hundreds of special lunches, family tea and scones events, birthday parties, bridal teas and baby showers. Finally, the Best Western Hotel near I-20 and Belair Road scored some points with the home office, getting voted in the top 20 percent nationwide amongst 2,100 hotels in cleanliness and maintenance.
28 / VERGELIVE.com _ SEPTEMBER 5
feeding the family
FOOTBALL FOOD Feeding the Family WITH GERMAN FLAIR with Asian Fare
ollege football season is upon us, and that means Saturday afternoon “football” food at our house. I initially planned to share my favorite tailgating recipe in this issue of Verge, but all of this talk of Arts in the Heart of Augusta has me thinking German. So, in honor of both…here’s my best German-inspired tailgating treat.
article by Jennifer Pruett
Stacked Reuben Dip with Rye Crackers
INGREDIENTS: - 2 pound corned beef brisket with spice package (If you are pressed for time use thinly sliced Boar’s Head from the deli.) - 3/4 cup Thousand Island dressing (see recipe below) - 3/4 cup mayonnaise - 8-10 ounces deli-packaged sauerkraut (I prefer Boar’s Head) - 3 cups shredded Swiss cheese - Green onions for garnish
Thousand Island Dressing INGREDIENTS: - 1 cup mayonnaise - 4 Tbs. ketchup - 2 tsp. sugar - 2 Tbs. sweet relish
DIRECTIONS: 1. Prepare dressing by mixing all ingredients. Cover and refrigerate until you are ready to use. I try to make the dressing a day in advance so all of the flavors have time to marry. 2. Remove corned beef from pot and pull apart with fork. 3. Place corned beef brisket in a large pot or Dutch oven. Cover with water, add spice packet and simmer for approximately two hours, or until fork tender. 4. In an ungreased pie dish layer the sauerkraut, half of Swiss, corned beef and Thousand Island mixture. 5. Top with the remaining Swiss and chopped green onions. 6. Bake at 350° for 15-20 minutes, until dip is bubbly. 7. Serve with rye crackers. So there it is…German and tailgating all rolled into one. I hope I have inspired you all to get downtown to Arts in the Heart of Augusta, as Germany is this year’s host country, and they are sure to have some great fare. Be inspired – by this recipe and by foods you sample at the festival – and then plan a Germaninspired Oktoberfest tailgate. It’ll be sure to impress. Guten Appetit!
ver been to a restaurant whose menu was so vast that you have to ask the server to come back three or four times before deciding what to order? This week, during our first visit to Soy Noodle House on Broad Street, this was exactly the case. I must begin by saying that we absolutely love Asian-inspired food, and while we haven’t experimented much with sushi in the past, we knew this was a great opportunity to do so. The atmosphere at Soy Noodle is great, and the staff could not have been friendlier. I love the openness and eccentricity of downtown restaurants (and the fact that they’re loud enough that our kids are never a distraction for other diners). Our waitress, Briana S., treated us like she’d known us forever. She sat down at the table to talk with the kids and tell them a bit about the menu, and she was extremely patient with us as we took lots of time to figure out what we would order. For starters we decided upon fresh Vietnamese spring rolls -- steamed shrimp, roasted pork, lettuce, carrots, bean sprouts, rice vermicelli noodles and basil wrapped in rice paper. They looked different than anything I’ve eaten before, but with the first bite I was hooked. The kids each very cautiously tried bites, and they were all begging for more. The shrimp were perfectly steamed, and the veggies were fresh and crisp. The homemade sauce that came with them was tasty as well. We also had the firecracker shrimp appetizer. The flavor was great, but no one really liked the heavy breading on these. The spring rolls were certainly a bigger hit. Rob got to choose from the sushi menu, as I have no experience with it at all. He decided on the Nigiri sushi tuna and the 1032 roll -- tempura shrimp, cream cheese and asparagus, topped with manikama salad, tempura crunch, masago, scallions, soy sauce and kabayaki glaze. My favorite of the two was the 1032 roll, since I am not that fond of uncooked fish. Rob loved the tuna, however, and would definitely order it again. It was fresh, of good quality and well presented. For our main dinner course we chose to try a sampling of a stir fried noodle dish, a rice dish and a Soy Favorite. Rob ordered the Japanese teriyaki udon with beef. This is a classic Japanese stir fry of zucchini, carrots, onions, greens and udon noodles, in a sweet teriyaki sauce. It was fantastic! The noodles were perfectly cooked, the beef was tender, and the veggies were fresh and crunchy. Sam, Zack and I shared Soy’s fried rice with shrimp and sesame chicken and broccoli. Both dishes were nicely done, but the fried rice was the unanimous favorite. The sesame chicken seemed a bit heavy and overcooked. The flavor was great, but it didn’t stand out like the other dishes. Okay, so here’s the kicker. Ready? The best dish of the night, in my humble opinion, was the kids’ broccoli stir fry with chicken. Little Miss Panini ordered well again. I tried a bite as soon as her plate arrived at the table, to make sure it wasn’t too hot of course, and I was hooked. I actually said to her at one point during the meal, “If you like Mommy’s food better, we can switch.” She didn’t “bite,” as she new she had something good. Our bill for this outing was $48, before tip. Man, this dinner was a success! article by Sally Panini
FOOD QUALITY SERVICE ENVIRONMENT
SEPTEMBER 5 _ VERGELIVE.com / 29
E XC E P T I O NA L W I N E S UNIQUE FRENCH CUISINE DA I LY S P E C IA L S
Wanted: The Worst Office Coffee in the CSRA! D
From his hometown of Lyon, the Mecca of French cuisine, culinary wizard Chef Manuel Verney-Carron uses his exceptional artistry to extend delicious breakfast, lunch and dinner, all guaranteed to delight any palate.
Now serving fresh vegetables from Manuel’s Blue Clay Farm and Outdoor Kitchen.
505 Railroad Avenue North Augusta, SC 29841
Mon-Thur 11am-10pm Fri-Sat 9am-10pm Sun 11:30am-3pm
oes your office coffee look — and taste — like something that could be used to grease engine parts? Or is it so weak that you can read staff memos through it? Whether it’s burned, bitter, lukewarm or just plain nasty, your horrible morning brew could win your office a Coffee Intervention and free freshly roasted coffee for a year from Buona Caffe Artisan Roasted Coffee! In honor of National Coffee Day on Sept. 29, Buona Caffe, Augusta’s local roaster of specialty coffee, is looking for the worst office coffee in the CSRA. The contest is open to businesses, non-profit organizations, schools, churches, government agencies — anyone with an office and a coffee pot — in the Central Savannah River Area. The rules are simple: Visit the Facebook page of Buona Caffe between now and Sept. 21, “like” the page and tell us why the coffee at your office deserves the title of Worst Office Coffee in the CSRA. “We know from talking to people at the Augusta Market every Saturday that there’s an awful lot of disgusting coffee being brewed in offices around the CSRA,” says John Curry, coowner and roast master of Buona Caffe (the name means ‘good coffee’ in Italian). “That just doesn’t make good business sense. Happily caffeinated employees look forward to coming to work and are much more productive.” The winning entry will receive a Coffee Intervention, a fun event in which the company’s employees will enjoy freshly roasted coffee brewed by hand at their office by Buona Caffe’s trained coffee professionals. Plus, the winner will receive a free bag of Buona Caffe coffee each month for 12 months! “Education is a big part of what we do,” Curry says. “We love sharing with people how they can make a great cup of coffee at home or at the office.” The winner will be announced at 10 a.m. on National Coffee Day, Saturday, Sept. 29, at Buona Caffe’s booth at The Augusta Market at the River. Everyone who nominates their office will receive a buy one/get one free coupon for coffee drinks at the Saturday market. Buona Caffe Artisan Roasted Coffee roasts specialty coffees from Central and South America, Africa and Indonesia at 1837 Central Ave., Augusta. (The entrance is in the rear of the building.) The roaster is open from 9-2 Tuesday through Friday to buy coffee by the bag. Its Bravissimo Blend is the official coffee of Symphony Orchestra Augusta and its Red Kettle Coffee is an ongoing fundraiser for The Salvation Army of Augusta. For every bag of coffee sold, Buona Caffe makes a donation to Children’s Safe Drinking Water (csdw.org). For more information, call (800) 863-2419 or visit buonacaffe.com. by pat curry
30 / VERGELIVE.com _ SEPTEMBER 5
beers locals like
ell, it’s time once again to celebrate that most American of savage dances known as football. Sure, the Brits have a bit less of a misnomer on the topic with their version of “football”, but, really, how can I get up and grab another beer while watching a match in which the clock doesn’t stop from play to play. No, thank you. I’ll opt for American football. I know that criticizing , albeit for no good reason, the sport I know as soccer is considered a mortal sin in most parts of the world, so, as penance for my wrongdoing, I’ve chosen two British brews for this month’s column (rounded out with a domestic to enjoy along with some real football – the pigskin kind).
slightly more than a Newcastle. The decay is quick and clean, making this brew a nice choice for a warmer day. Try it with a gorgonzola and fig sandwich – your taste buds will thank you.
Ruddles County Ale – A clear and deep amber gives way to a toasty sweet malty nose and a subtly sweet sip that bites
Southern Tier Crème Brulee – Another fine and potent potable from Southern Tier that is dark and rich (even
Innis &Gunn Independence Day 2012 – OK, it’s a little late for the Fourth of July, but this Scottish ale suits year round. A clear reddish brown pour with mild lacing is not unlike the ale mentioned above. The flavor of this brew is a bit more comprehensive, though, with sweet and spicy aspects dominating, but with a trace of bitter and even sour in there somewhere. Overall, a great beer from one of my favorite breweries in the world.
for an Imperial Stout). It’s bitter and sweet without being bittersweet (you’ll just have to see for yourself), and when I say sweet, I mean this could literally serve as dessert by itself. Try it in a pint glass, and don’t plan on moving for a while. These and more can be found at Aficionados on 8th Street Downtown. BEN CASELLA Ben Casella does enjoy soccer. He’s just jealous of those who can still run around a field for 90 minutes without stopping.
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network anchor speaks / PG 35
ADOPTION BLESSING / PG 37
THE BOYS OF FALL / PG 37
DON’T BUY A LEMON FUNNY GIRL’S TAKE
STORY ON PAGE 39
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here’s to your health
HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH IS PRESENTED BY WALKER CHIROPRACTIC AND RIGHT AT HOME. PLEASE REVIEW THEIR ADS BELOW AND UTILIZE THEIR SERVICES
Children’s Medical Center earns fourth international ECMO award
Roughly 1 in 3 babies born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia die. But Lila Rose Burbage is a survivor. “When she was born, she didn’t cry, and she seemed to be having trouble breathing,” said her mother, Alice Burbage. Doctors discovered that the condition, in which a hole in the diaphragm allows abdominal organs to move into the chest, was causing Lila Rose’s right kidney and liver to crush her right lung. Her left lung was in jeopardy as well. The Burbage’s were told that without quick help, Lila Rose wouldn’t make it. “It was terrifying,” said Burbage. “We were just in shock.” Within the hour, Lila Rose was transported to the Georgia Health Sciences Children’s Medical Center, where she was put on ECMO, extracorporeal membrane oxygenation, is a lifesaving technique that mimics the natural function of the heart and lungs, allowing an infant or child to heal without taxing these vital functions. The CMC ECMO team recently earned its fourth consecutive Award of Excellence in Life Support from the Extracorporeal Life Support Organization, an international group of health care professionals and scientists who develop and evaluate novel therapies to support failing organ systems. The organization recognizes and honors ECMO programs that optimize performance, innovation, satisfaction and quality. The Award of Excellence is recognized by U.S. News and World Report and Parents magazine as criteria for top pediatric hospitals. “We are very blessed and fortunate to have ECMO here in Augusta,” said Burbage. “Lila Rose is proof of that.”
Soledad O’Brien to speak at GHSU Diversity Summit Sept. 14
Soledad O’Brien, anchor of CNN’s morning news program Starting Point, is the keynote speaker at the Georgia Health Sciences University Diversity Summit Friday, Sept. 14 at the Salvation Army’s Kroc Center. O’Brien will speak about Diversity: On TV, Behind the Scenes and In Our Lives. The summit, which is in its second year, is focused on increasing partnerships and inclusion in the community. It aims to advance dialogue about inclusion activities between inter-related community organizations; educate attendees about diversity and inclusion strategies and practices; and provide networking opportunities that promote collaboration. “A fundamental prerequisite for excellence requires us to successfully navigate a multitude of cross-cultural interactions,” said Dr. Kent Guion, GHSU Vice President for Diversity and Inclusion. “Being inclusive of many perspectives is a catalyst for new ideas and connects us more holistically to the community we serve.” Presentations at this year’s event, scheduled to begin at 8:30 a.m., include Dr. Waded Cruzado, President of Montana State University, discussing Alice in Wonderland: A Woman’s Adventure in Academia and Dr. Beheruz Sethna, President of the University of West Georgia, discussing The World is Getting Even More Flattened – Are We Ready for It? Highlights also will include a lunchtime interactive discussion of perception and communication skills by Amy Herman, President of the Art of Perception; a networking cafe; and tours of the Kroc Center. The event will conclude with dinner and the keynote address at 6pm. For a full schedule and to register, visit georgiahealth.edu/diversity/summit/2012/ or call the GHSU Office of Diversity and Inclusion, 706.721.9265. compiled from area press releases by Jennifer Pruett
September Is Healthy Aging Month
September is the annual Healthy Aging Month, when Americans nationwide are reminded focus on the positive aspects of growing older. More than 15 years ago, the national health initiative, Healthy Aging, was formed to provide people with helpful information for successful aging. Healthy Aging® encourages people to take control of their health and think about the upside of growing old. Instead dwelling on limitations and failing health, Healthy Aging Month is the time to concentrate on the activities and exercises one can do and enjoy. Part of this year’s campaign is the launch of the free, digital Healthy Aging Magazine, which centers on older adults living their vibrant best. Right at Home, a leading provider of assistance to senior citizens and disabled adults, also shares this objective – to improve the quality of life for seniors. Right at Home’s staff encourages clients of any age to stay as active as possible, keep following their passions and remain optimistic about what’s next in life. The following are Healthy Aging Month tips: Go back to school -- it’s never too late to expand your knowledge. Take a volunteer vacation -- Volunteer Vacations Across America (immersiontraveler.com) is an excellent resource. Get moving like there’s no tomorrow -- Older adults getting regular physical exercise are 60 percent less likely to get dementia and improve their overall physical and mental health. Eat fresh -- add more fresh fruits and vegetables to your daily snacks and meals, and try to cook from scratch as much as possible. Right at Home is dedicated to helping the elderly by providing private-duty care giving services, serving Augusta, North Augusta, Aiken and surrounding areas in SC. If you have further concerns about caring for a loved one, please contact them at 803.278.0250 or on the web at rightathome. net/csra.
By Kathy Crist
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Shellac by CND -goes on like polish -wears like gel -extended wear -no chipping -strengthens nails -quick removal
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From Korea with Love
s I write today my daughter is celebrating her birthday. She’s sworn me to secrecy, so I cannot tell you her age. I can tell you though it’s one of those “extra special” birthdays that end in zero. I am experiencing some waves of nostalgia as I think about how fast we sped through the years when she was growing up and living at home (she and her husband now live in Atlanta). Shereen has always been an exceptional gift to our lives and family. A bit of background: Susie and I had been married about five years. We were living in Minnesota, (where the term “frozen tundra” becomes a yearly reality) talking and praying about having a baby. Doctors told us we would not be able to have any children biologically, so we were enthusiastically looking in to adoption. We have a legacy of adoption in our family history; my mom was adopted, as was Susie’s sister. Several families
values in our church had adopted children from Korea. After talking with them and after much prayer we felt we should walk down that path as well. There were many great things about the adoption process, including being forced to think about WHY we wanted to be parents and how welcoming a child in to our family from another country would impact our entire family going forward. The adoption agency also made us address expectations, parenting styles, family goals and the costs of raising a child. I think all prospective parents should experience a similar process, but I digress. With the unanimous blessing and encouragement of our family and friends, we moved ahead. Paperwork, case worker visits and agency payments took chunks of time. More prayer, along with many daily conversations and much planning made the time move rapidly. The adoption process at that time took about nine months. At one point, several months before our daughter came to us, we received a two-inch by three-inch black and white photo of her -- our “daughter in waiting”. After that, time seemed to slow way down; we couldn’t wait for her to be with us! Yes, we took the photo everywhere and showed it to all who would stop long enough to look. The day Shereen arrived at the Minneapolis airport nearly 100 friends and family were there to celebrate with us (at that time guests could come to greet passengers at the gate). We have a very grainy VHS tape of the event a friend shot for us that brings tears to our eyes to this day.
ab’s sports lessons
touchdowns last year. He did this, despite being the 3rd or 4th option in the Bulldogs offense. He impressed early in the season, returning kicks, however, as the season progressed Head Coach Milan Turner kept finding more ways to get the diminutive Battle the ball. That game plan will continue in 2012.
Jamal Cummings (Grovetown High School): Senior 5’-9”, 185 lbs.
THE CSRA’S FAB FIVE… THE BOYS OF FALL
he area’s passion for football seems to grow with each passing season, and I am constantly asked, during the month of August, “Who are the high school players to watch this season?” This year there are several talented players that should be on the radar of area fans. They will all prove, in my opinion, to be “worth the price of admission”. In narrowing my list to the “Fab Five,” I notice something peculiar -- all but one were virtually unknown at this time last year…before the 2011 season. They proved themselves on the gridiron last year, and they are sure to impress in 2012. Here’s my list…
Torrie Battle (Thomson High School): Senior, 5’-8”, 170 lbs.
Battle will play a larger role for Thomson in 2012. I chuckle at this because, between rushes, catches and returning kicks, Battle amassed over 1,700 total yards and scored 21
Cummings was not a complete unknown prior to last season, but he was more on the baseball front. However, in football, he rushed for 18 touchdowns prior to his junior season despite splitting carries with other featured backs. Last year Head Coach Rodney Holder gave him the football 191 times, and Cummings did not disappoint. He piled up nearly 1,300 yards and 13 touchdowns on his way to earning first team All-County and All-Region Honors.
Brendan Douglas (Aquinas High School): Senior, 6’-0”, 220 lbs.
This kid is a beast. It is as simple as that. What else can describe a player that rushed for over 1,700 yards, scored 27 touchdowns, had 127 tackles on defense and handled the team’s punting duties? He spent the off-season adding 15 lbs. of muscle and maxed out on the bench press at 440 lbs. In 2011, Douglas led Aquinas to their finest season in school history and was named First Team AllState. Obviously opposing teams will be focused on big #44, but that will not stop him from posting monster numbers again in 2012.
Donquell “Gator” Green (Burke County High School): Junior, 5’-8”, 165 lbs.
Green is the only underclassman on the list, but he was impossible to leave out. Last season, as a sophomore, he
Now Shereen is a married woman making plans for a family of her own. We’re hoping she and her husband will consider adoption just as I hope ohters will. Many children today desperately need a family that will welcome them and love them. As far as not being able to have any children biologically? Three and a half years after Shereen joined our family, Luke was born. By the way, he now serves as a member of the AugustaRichmond County Fire department. Yes, we are equally proud of him! Susie and I have always agreed that two children was the ideal number for us. We thought “replacing ourselves” and “not being outnumbered” was a good strategy. To this day, when someone asks about our family, we tell them we have two children -- “an import and a domestic”. I couldn’t be more grateful for God’s blessings. *Get more information about adoption now from: Covenant Care Adoption Services @ http://www.covenantcareadoptions.com or Bethany Christian Services: @ 706.871.5887
STEVE swanson serves as the Station Manager of Family Friendly 88.3 WAFJ. He’s invested 30+ Years in the world of radio and was named the Christian Music Broadcasters Program Director of the year 2009 and 2011. He and his wife Susie make their home in North Augusta.
values rushed for nearly 1,200 yards and 14 touchdowns as he helped led Burke County to the school’s first State Championship. And he put up those numbers as the team’s backup Q.B. That is not a misprint; last season he split time with senior Corey Mayton who signed to play at Georgia State. This year the team is Green’s and that can only mean good things for Head Coach Eric Parker and the Bears.
Trey Morgan (North Augusta High School): Senior, 5’-11”, 175 lbs.
Morgan making the list may surprise some people, but my guess is those people did not see North Augusta play much last year. When the season began, Morgan was probably the least known of North Augusta’s four starting defensive backs. The unit was easily the best in the area, amassing 19 interceptions as a group. However, it was Morgan that emerged as the star; he picked off six passes and made play after play for the Jackets as they finished 12-2. He has a chance to be a Division-I cornerback next fall. And there they are – the Fab Five, the Boys of Fall, the ones to watch. Get out and enjoy the Friday Night Lights in the CSRA!
ashley brown known to listeners as AB, is the Sports Director for Beasley Broadcasting in Augusta. He’s producer of the Austin Rhodes Show and host of CSRA Sports Hour. AB’s quick wit and encyclopedic sports knowledge have made him the leader in sports broadcasting in the CSRA.
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ask dr. karp
life face first
Anna on Facebook asks…” If I eat one pound of food, do I gain one pound of weight?”
ey, Anna, this is a terrific question and thanks for posting it on Facebook. Most people do not fully understand the relationship between the weight of the food they eat, the calories in the food and their resultant weight gain. If you can figure this out and fully integrate it into your thinking, it will be a major step in helping you stay within a reasonable weight range your entire life. Your weight is related ONLY to the calories in the food you eat, not to the weight of the food itself. For example, the person sitting next to you at Casa Blanca Café on Broad Street, might be eating, what seems to you, a huge amount of food, yet you cannot understand why she never seems to gain weight. On the other hand you are sitting there, overweight, nibbling on a little “snack” of chips and nuts or a cookie and sipping on a soft drink. The fact is that what you are eating may only weigh a little compared to what she is eating, but you are taking in more calories with the potential for weight gain. Another situation is deciding to go dine in one of the many restaurant/bar chains in Augusta, like Applebee’s or Chili’s. You order an entrée salad and it comes with either the dressing already on the salad or dressing on the side that you pour onto the salad. I am sure you have noticed that, nowadays, they give you 3-4 little cups of dressing on the side, not just one. Do you really fully appreciate and understand that the dressing you pour onto the salad (which weighs very little compared to the salad) may have over twice the calories as the salad, itself? The key to keeping your weight in check is to choose to eat low-fat foods which will allow you to eat much more food. That does not mean you must eat your salad dry, like a rabbit. Rather, always order dressing on the side and then dip your fork into the dressing before you spear some salad and then eat. It will taste great and you will end up eating very little dressing. Try it. So, the no-nonsense nutrition advice for today is this; pay much more attention to the CALORIES in the food you are eating, not to the WEIGHT of the food. Choose to eat a variety of LOW-FAT foods. If you do, you will be able to eat much more food without gaining weight. If, however, you choose HIGH FAT foods, you will only be able to eat the tiniest amount of food, you will still be hungry and you will probably gain weight. Dr. warren Karp is a professor emeritus at Georgia Health
Sciences University. If you have a question you would like answered in this colomn visit his Facebook page, facebook. com/askdrkarp
Used Car Shopping T
hanks to the kind actions of a stranger who ran a red light, my husband and I now have the opportunity to buy a used car. The old one had a small dent in the quarter panel and a tiny crack in the windshield. The man from the insurance company declared it, “not worth the money to repair that dilapidated excuse for an automobile,” or something to that effect. They gave us a modest check and sent us on our way after a mere two and a half weeks of polite discussions and negotiations regarding the car’s value, the use of a rental car and whether my husband’s illegible signature on the title constituted an actual signature or was the forgery of a deranged two-year-old. Check in hand we skipped off to the nearest used car lot. Cars, we discovered, are very expensive. You must look long and hard to find a good deal and must wade through a great deal of used car lingo. To help the average reader (a human) purchase a car from a used car dealer (a human body inhabited by evil lizard aliens bent on world domination) I’ve compiled a useful list of terms: Used car: A car that was once owned by someone other than you Runs great: Has no air conditioning Must sell: Before you look under the hood A steal: It probably was Never been smoked in: Cigarette butts fill the ashtray Financing for everyone!: At 87% interest What do you want your monthly payment to be? We can get this idiot to sign a 27 year loan! Dealership conveniently located: 49 miles from civilization Manual transmission: A thing of the past Well loved: There are crayon stains on the back seat, the steering wheel is worn to a nub and there’s dog vomit hidden somewhere in the car One owner, little old woman who drove it to the store: and died it in So before you buy a car familiarize yourself with these key terms so you are prepared when you enter the arena. Good luck, pleasant shopping and try to avoid the evil alien lizards. nora blithe is the author of Door In Face, a humor blog about all things that lay you flat. Read more at DOORINFACE.COM.
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