Let’s Talk About Hair

Hair is undeniably personal. It’s powerful. Despite this, it’s rare to see different facets of hair discussed. There are endless hair types, styles and modes of expression that aren’t heard or seen nearly enough. These are the hair stories I want to give a voice to. I reached out to four young women from Monarch Park and asked them what their hair means to them. Some of their hair journeys have led them to become practicing hijabi’s, others to hair health and acceptance. From personal, to cultural, to spiritual significance, each conversation sheds a new light on the topic of hair. Here is what these women had to say.

“Hair is undeniably personal.”

Written by: Abigail Chan

M A I R A M A H M O O D

“Being Pakistani, growing up with traditional grandparents and aunts I’ve always been encouraged to keep my hair thick and long since that’s a part of our culture. So, ever since I was young I always had thick hair with natural curls at the bottom. As you know, I wear a hijab. But still, I feel like my hair is a large part of who I am. I can easily change the style. I can straighten it, I can add braids, I can put it up in a pony tail and it changes my look drastically. But what I like to do is embrace my naturally thick hair by leaving it down since by leaving it down and embracing my natural curls I’m able to signify and embrace my culture which I actually really like.” “It’s like hair styles, there’s different types of hijab styles too. People are more creative because, just over quarantine they’re able to make more styles because everyone was so bored. Because of tik tok also, a lot of people are sharing their hijab styles and people are like ‘Oh buy this hijab, buy this hijab, this one’s a nice colour. Oh this style is amazing for round faces - for this face or for that face’ … Hijab styles- there’s so much variety. Like, I don’t know which one to choose. If I’m going to go to school next year, I’ll have to wear- I don’t know. I can’t just stick to a single one, there’s so many nice ones that are just... they’re perfect.”

“Personally, my hair is my identity. That’s what I like to think of it. I like to think of it as a part of me just like any body part you have … As a black girl, it’s really culturally significant because our hair has been so deeply rooted in all our journeys as black women. It’s a part of our culture. It’s a part of our society. It’s how we bond with each other, it’s how we relate with one another. Everytime we gather to do hair, it’s almost like a celebration. So we go there, we eat, we relate to one another- it really brings us together. Another way we can bond over it is exchanging styles, telling stories. Personally I like to tell stories through my hair, just show people how I’m feeling. If I’m wearing braids I feel spunky or maybe I’m wearing an afro and I feel bold. So relating with other people who understand that kind of way of expressing yourself, it’s really good. That’s how we like to bond.” “I was back in Uganda two years ago and I was like ‘You know what? I want to change it up. I want to get really puffy, curly, bold hair. I want to go all out.’ So my cousin, she lives in Uganda, and down town it’s really busy, really hectic, and there’s a whole bunch of little hairdressing stations there. So, she took me there and I was knocked away. We got there, this little hairdressing booth place. And I was like I don’t- I don’t even know if they’re going to have room to do my hair in this place *laughs* it’s so small. But we go there and the people were so friendly. People were singing outside, people were laughing. The way they did your hair was so quick, it was like multiple hands on your head. If I could describe that experience in one word, it was authentic … Growing up [in Canada] is a lot different than growing up in somewhere like Uganda. In Uganda it’s the norm. Everybody has unique [hair], they’re not afraid to express themselves, they’re not afraid to show their BIG hair, they are so bold there. Here, from the minute you open your eyes at birth you’re like- there’s not alot of people who look like me. Sometimes it’s hard getting out of your shell you know? To be different.” “ I used to do ballet, I think I did about eight years? And there was this rule. Every time we were doing a show, they told me, specifically- because I was the only black girl in that whole ballet school- I had to do extensions so that I could put my hair in a bun and do performances. Otherwise it would be deemed “unacceptable”. So technically I had to “meet their standards” and that was something that messed me up because I was just like ‘Why can’t I be comfortable the way I am?’. So, [one day] I realized I had a show coming up and I was like ‘Oh my god I like- I have a show- I don’t have my braids in- I have my afro- they’re going to kill me- they’re going to kick me out- I’m going to lose my pointe shoes- all that. I was freaking out. And my mom just said “Go with your afro. Go with your afro”. I’d told my teacher I would come with my braids in. I was so scared because that day

“Personally, my hair is my identity. That’s what I like to think of it. I like to think of it as a part of me just like any body part you have … “ there’s no rehearsals or anything. You just go there, go on stage, come off. So we get there and the teacher hasn’t seen me yet. She doesn’t see me until I’m literally on the stage. In that moment, I was scared to death because I was like ‘Oh my god I’m the only one that looks different in this group of people’. But I got to that front and centre moment and the audience was so happy. They were so happy to see that change and they were cheering me on. That moment really woke me up. I was like, ‘You know what? I should feel free to express myself. I don’t need to conform to these people’s standards just to look like these other girls. I don’t have their hair and I’m ok with that. I’m fine with being different, I embrace that part of myself’. So, yeah, I ended up quitting. I quit that place … One of the main things that uplifts me now and I think about is how much I endured, especially as a kid in this country. To fit into people’s image of who I should be- I think that’s something I’m glad I grew out of.” “If you’re ever feeling uncomfortable about your hair or you’re feeling scared to embrace yourself. Don’t be scared. Embrace yourself. I bet you people are going to love seeing the way you love yourself through your hair. So, if you do that and you’re just confident- first of all if you’re comfortable enough- but if you’re confident enough to just do your thing. Just do your thing and nobody will mind. You are beautiful the way you are and your hair is beautiful the way it is and you should not be ashamed of what people will think of you. That took me a long time to come to terms with and when I did come to terms with it, I was like ‘Wow this is really the other side of the rainbow!’”

“ To me my hair means confidence. For a long time, my natural hair didn’t mean as much to me as it does now. Now my natural hair is like my baby, you know? Back in grade seven I would straighten my hair all the time. And my hair was severely heat damaged.. It was burnt to a crisp. It was- it was gone. It was dead. But for me, I didn’t want to lose my hair because- I don’t know if long hair is something I truly truly want or if it’s just something that I think I want because in society, long hair means beauty. So, I wanted to keep it. Chopping it off? It never occurred to me.”

“So, I took that first step in going natural. I knew nothing about hair health. It was something I had to figure out on my own through Youtube. It took a long time, maybe one and a half to two years for my hair to return to its actual hair pattern … It was this wavy mess. It was so frizzy. When you have heat damaged curls and you start going natural it’s not your actual curl pattern. It’s just some really messed up version of it. So, my hair, it was always tangled, it was super frizzy- super thick- my curls were not defined whatsoever, they could barely hold any moisture. When I look back at photos at the different stages I was in, I’m like ‘Wow. Wow my hair really changed, it really really changed’. So now, I value my hair so much and I make sure I really take care of it.”

“I’ve been more experimental with protective hair styles too, so putting my hair in braids and I even tried out a wig. I’m trying colour and trying to just be as careful with my hair as I possibly can because it is, a lot of the time, where I draw my confidence from. If my hair is not done, it’s not looking good, I notice that I don’t feel as comfortable. I feel more seen, I feel a little bit more insecure. Even though nowadays I’m trying to move away from associating hair with beauty.”

“In the beginning of my natural hair journey I was kind of nervous because my hair was damaged and I was like ‘Oh this doesn’t look right’. But, one thing that really made me think ‘Ok. I’m going to do this and I’m going to love how I’m doing it’ was I would get compliments from people. I remember my neighbour specifically. Whenever they saw me with my natural hair, they would make sure to compliment me and be like ‘It looks great Naomi, oh my god I love it!’ and tell me how happy they were to see me in my natural hair. [Another time] I was just walking down the street trying to catch my bus and as I’m walking to the bus stop this lady passing me was like ‘Oh my god girl, I love your hair!’ and I was like *hair flip* ‘Thank you!’. I was so gassed! That’s kind of where I began to love my natural hair. At first I was like, I just want natural hair because it looks good on other women. Because my hair wasn’t looking like theirs I was kind of like ‘eeh- they lied to me’ I thought my hair was going to [immediately] be a perfect 3c kind of hair. But, honestly, the more people acknowledged my hair and acknowledged what I was doing, the steps I was taking, the more I was like ‘Ok I’m beginning to love my hair, I’m beginning to see the true beauty in it too’.

“I want to start by telling the full definition of hijabs. People often misuse it and describe it as a head covering but in our religion it’s much more than that. It’s a full expression of modesty and delicacy, it’s not just a scarf you use to cover your hair. It’s also a full manifestation to dress up righteously and maintain your behavioural ethics. The way you present yourself through outer appearance- it’s really important to take care of your inner appearance so your personality, your soul and your actions to other people. The way hijabis take care of their hijabs it is also important for them to take care of their hair that’s underneath it. Personally, my hair holds the same significance as my hijab, so I treat it with the same amount of love and care. A lot of people infer that it’s useless for a Muslim woman to style their hair, as nobody sees it but this is totally opposite from what the truth is. My hair actually requires extra care and attention because it is seen by my family, you know? Most importantly, taking care of my hair isn’t just for people to see, it’s more a part of my self confidence and self esteem. So it’s a part of me that defines my uniqueness and I feel beautiful when I take care of it. I do watch youtube videos on different hairstyling techniques and stuff so I like to straighten it and curl it like everyone else does- depending on my mood of course. It just feels good when you watch yourself in the mirror and you’re doing your hair. It just feels good.” Z A R A S H A H I D “...taking care of my hair isn’t just for people to see, it’s more a part of my self confidence and self esteem.”