Body Mapping Workshop My Cousin is my Betrayal I was 18 years old when my cousin betrayed me. He told my elder brother, the person who took care of me after my beloved parents passed away, that I was dating boys instead of girls. As kids we played soccer on the streets, swam, watched movies, and horsed around. We trusted each other and shared our deepest secrets. Though he was running after girls, I was having feelings for boys. So one day, I explained to him that I was attracted to boys and it was cool with him. We remained good friends.
After some time, I approached my brotherâs wife. She was very close to me and I hoped she could speak to her husband. She spoke to him and we resolved the differences. After that I felt relieved that the tension between my family and me was over, but the damage had already happened. Some of the people in the neighborhood were already aware that I was gay. They pointed fingers at me and I imagined them whispering to one another judging my morality. My heart felt like it was bleeding as if I was stabbed by a sharp spear.
One day, he outed me to my lovely conservative family of which I was not yet ready to be distinguished as gay. My family is a Christian family, who considers someone gay as a taboo, satanic, demonic, unnatural, unAfrican, and against culture and Godâs creation of Adam and Eve. Up to now I really do not know why he did that. Was it because when I was around my gay friends we would sometimes call each other ladiesâ names, or maybe because older men would buy us booze? I donât know. Only God knows. I was really hurt, disappointed, and I felt betrayed, painful, and lonely since someone that I had trusted did such an unexpected thing to me. It also affected my relationship with my brother. I spent a couple of months visiting my gay friends and not communicating with my cousin because of his action.
From what happened I learned that some people we call best friends sometimes betray us. My cousin who I considered my best friend really betrayed me. I also learned that sometimes people who want to talk and judge other peopleâs sexuality have unresolved issues. That cousin of mine who outed me and caused me deep pain is now gay. I only learned that about him a year ago when I was already in South Africa.
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